Wealden Times - The lifestyle magazine for the Weald
How to share Christmas
Whilst there will always be those who complain about the commercialisation
of Christmas, no one can doubt that it remains a time of magic and excitement
for children of all ages.
As parents, we do all we can to ensure that
our children have a wonderful time and
that the magic is protected for as long as
possible. This can be stressful enough at
the best of times, but it can become so
much more difficult following a divorce
or separation. Emotions may be running
high, particularly if the separation is recent,
finances are likely to be more stretched and
to top it all, arrangements must be made to
ensure that children can spend time with
both parents over the Christmas period.
Any family lawyer will tell you that even
the most amicable couple can find this
a difficult issue and whilst it might be
tempting to ask the children, particularly
older ones, what they would like to happen,
be prepared for the additional burden of
guilt that is bound to follow the likely reply
that what they really want, is for the family
to be together at Christmas.
So is it possible to resolve such a potentially
fraught issue without tears? Absolutely it is,
but only if the adults involved are able and
prepared to make a huge effort to remind
themselves that, just as when they were
together, they need to concentrate on
doing their best to make this time special
not for themselves, but for their children.
The earlier discussions can take place the
better, as that should avoid the need for
previous arrangements to be altered or
cancelled and also allows a parent facing
Christmas Day without the children to
make the best of the situation, possibly
by arranging to spend the day with other
parents in a similar position.
Sadly however, there will always be some
couples who really struggle to reach an
agreement and who will need assistance in
settling matters. Whilst courts can assist
and indeed are often called upon to decide
on arrangements in the weeks running up
to Christmas, this really should be seen as a
last resort.
Not only are court proceedings expensive,
but court lists are busy at the best of times
and often there is simply no time for a court
to hear an application in time for Christmas.
But even more fundamentally, bear in mind
that nothing will destroy any remaining
vestige of goodwill more than contested
court proceedings. Better alternatives
are mediation or collaborative law, both
of which can assist couples in reaching
an agreement. Yes, this may well require
compromise on both sides, but it will
certainly be worth it if it allows the children
to enjoy time with both their parents over
this special time.
If you would like further advice,
we offer a free 30-minute meeting.
Please contact our team secretary
Louise Huxstep on
T: 01892 502 338 or
E: LHuxstep@bussmurton.co.uk
and quote “Wealden Times”.
Please get in touch Please with our get Family in touch team with who our will Family be happy team who to help. will be happy to help.
Melanie den Brinker Margaret Evans Lora Grogan Amanda Jardine-Viner
Julie Taylor
Kristy Underwood
www.bussmurton.co.uk T: 01892 510 T: 01892 222 510 2
TUNBRIDGE WELLS TUNBRIDGE | CRANBROOK WELLS | CRANBROOK | EAST GRINSTEAD | EAST | GRINSTEAD DARTFORD | DARTFO
Buss Murton Law LLP is a Limited Buss Liability Murton Law Partnership LLP is a No. Limited OC345994 Liability Partnership and is authorised No. OC345994 and regulated and by is the authorised Solicitors and Regulation regulated Authority. by the Solicitors Regulation A
Change language