Uncle Andy's Digest - November 2019

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Enjoy the November 2019 edition - Uncle Andy's Digest is a community based, ad supported publication, with a focus on fun and humor. You'll find family friendly jokes, interesting facts, and punny contributions.

UNCLE

DIGEST

ANDY’S

NOVEMBER

2019

EST. 1996

207-782-7113

Get Your FREE

Quote Today!

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandautobody.com

Compass

www.RealtyONEgroupMaine.com

Touchdowns & Tailgates &

BIG SAVINGS

Great Falls

Federal Credit Union

www.GreatFallsfcu.com

34 Bates St, Lewiston

782-7192

760 Minot Ave., Auburn

753-0500

Score BIG

with a

Great Falls

Auto Loan!

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 1


Timing is everything.

Make sure you’re well stocked up

before the relatives arrive.

With an impressive selection of spirits, competitively priced beer

and wine, mixers, and hard-to-find favorites, you’ll be thankful.

The party starts with Roopers.

Stock up at any one of our SIX convenient package stores

AUBURN

545 Minot Avenue – 783-2047

301 Main Street – 783-9098

LEWISTON

694 Main Street – 782-1482

794 Sabattus Street – 783-6353

1420 Lisbon Street – 333-3095

OXFORD

980 Main Street – 539-6072


If I was a turkey, I’d be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.

MODERN WOODMEN

OF AMERICA

NOVEMBER 2019

ACTIVITIES

Saturday, November 2nd

KC Bean Supper-Sabattus

4:30-6:00pm

Maxwell-Gill Hall Sabattus

M: $6.00 G: $7.00

Sunday, November 3rd

American Legion Breakfast

7:30-1 0:00am

40 Island RD Sabattus

M: $5.00 G: $6.00

Tuesday, November 12th

Luiggi’s

4:00-7:00pm

63 Sabattus Street Lewiston

M: $3.00 G: $4.00

Saturday, November 17th

KC Turkey Dinner

Noon

Maxwell-Gill Hall Sabattus

M: $6.00 G: $7.00

Tuesday, November 19th

Roy’s Breakfast

7:00-10:00am

5 Washington Ave Auburn

M: $4.00 G: $5.00

Tuesday, November 19th

Fielder’s Choice

4:00-7:00pm

680 Minot Ave Auburn

M and G: $2.00

Wednesday, November 20th

Schemengees

4:00-7:00pm

551 Lincoln Street Lewiston

M: $7.50 G: $8.50

Saturday, November

23rd-30th

FEZtival of Trees

Times Vary

Kora Temple

11 Sabattus Street Lewiston

M and G: $1.00

Tuesday, November 26th

KP’s Place

4:00-7:00pm

245 Center Street Auburn

M: $5.00 G: $6.00

Fun Z Trampoline Park Pass

(1-hour pass)

M: $8.00 Guest: $9.00

The fact that Arkansas and Kansas are pronounced differently bothers

me way more than it should.

Prices, Dates and menu are subject

to change. All activities can only be

attended at the times listed. TICKETS

ARE LIMITED – NO RETURNS & NO

REFUNDS ALLOWED FMI, please

call our office 782-1833, DO NOT CALL

RESTAURANTS.

*************************

Tickets need to be purchased at the

Modern Woodmen District Office,

184 Webster St, Lewiston. Office

hours are Monday-Thursday 9a-4p,

Friday 9a-12noon, excluding holidays.

Tickets can only be purchased

1 week in advance of the activity.


Uncle Andy’s Digest

is published by the first

Friday of every month by

Maine Mountain Ocean

Group, Inc. with its world

headquarters located at

9 Grove Street, Auburn,

Maine, USA.

Published and distributed

since 1996 throughout

Central Maine and mailed to

subscribers all over the Free

World. Subscriptions are

$30/year.

UncleAndysDigest.com

Office: 207-783-7039

UAD Super Heroes

If your great-grandmother saw you making boxed mashed potatoes,

she would turn over in her gravy.

Smile in

Comfort

CAPTAIN

JIMBO

SPIDY

TIM

WONDER

WOMAN

TYLA

HULK

SMASH

THOMAS

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801 Webster Street, Lewiston • smileagaindentures@gmail.com

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514-0660

All work done on-site.

Repairs usually same day service!

Like our

name implies,

we’ll make you

SMILE

AGAIN

BATGIRL

STEPHANIE

IRONSIDES

STEVE

While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very

hard to ensure the accuracy of the

information in our client’s advertisements

and our publication in general, we are

not responsible for vendor availability,

typographical errors, technical

inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or

omissions.

Joe & Mike

Adkins

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Denturists

Call us today for:

• Full Dentures

• Immediate Dentures

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• Partial Adkins Dentures

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• Rebases

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Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

4 Nov. 2019 783-7039

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority of them are just freelancing.


Closed

Thanksgiving

Day

I really had my heart set on waking up rich this morning.

Where Good Times Happen

1472 Lisbon St. Lewiston

207-376-3870 • chickadeelewiston.com

Gotta Love

the Chick!

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT THE

CHICK-A-DEE OF LEWISTON

WE NOW OFFER

CATERING SERVICES!

*On site or at your location!

*Book our banquet room for your special event!

Thanksgiving Dinner

'To Go'

Pick Up The Day Before

Everything included Only $ 12.95

Out ‘n About at

Girdiron

Steinhoisting Event

Easy-peasy.

Just hold your glass

up the longest and

you win!

Mike Klemanski

I would’ve

participated, but I

didn’t want to show

everyone up!

Is the “S” or “C” in scent silent?

Dear Uncle Andy’s Digest,

My long lost cousins and their wives

met me and my husband recently at the

Chick-a-Dee for lunch. It was their first

time in Lewiston, Maine, and there was

no better way to introduce them to the city

than with an Uncle Andy’s Digest!

Kim Martin

Man,

this is

tougher than

it looks!

Just saying...

We all had a good time!

Sincerely,

Carol Hanscombe

Mike Lett from Vallejo, CA &

Bill Lett from Sun City, AZ

“Thanksgiving is the home version of an “all-you-can-eat” buffet.” – Melanie White

Jeremy Barnies &

Pete Barnies

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 5


A boiled egg is hard to beat.

Out ‘n About at Ricker Hill Orchard

They’ll

never find

me in here!

Giving thanks.

Caden Shaw

Out ‘n About at

Ricker Hill

Orchard

Go

ducky,

go!

Kayla Marston,

Andy Jarman, &

Connelly Jarman

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

6 Nov. 2019 783-7039

Having kids makes you realize how dumb your lies sounded to your parents.


Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.

Drums &

Percussion

lessons

Coming

Soon!

Main Street Music Lessons

207-376-3376

ANDROSCOGGIN COUNTY’S

MUSIC HEADQUARTERS

We’ve Expanded Again!

33 Dunn Street, Auburn • www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com

Tollbooth

Timer

Submitted by Thomas Hill

I worked on a toll road,

answering the phone,

collecting money and

issuing toll tickets.

One Thanksgiving Day,

a woman called to ask

about road conditions

on the turnpike. After

I said everything was

A-okay, she told me a

friend was coming for

dinner. Then came the

stumper.

Tell us you saw us in Uncle Andy’s Digest

Proudly serving LA for 43 years!

Eat-In or Take-Out

“If my friend just left

from exit twelve,” she

asked, “what time

should I put the turkey

in?”

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THE SEASON IS CHANGING

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Case Management • Housing Resources

Family

Portrait

Submitted by Jimbo

Grandma was showing

the children a painting

of the Pilgrim Family

on a Thanksgiving

Day card that they had

received.

She commented, “The

Pilgrim children enjoyed

going to church

with their mothers and

fathers and praying to

God.”

Now Hiring Case Managers *

*Must Have Mental Health Rehabilitation Technician Certification

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www.commonties.org

Her youngest grandson

looked at her

doubtfully and asked,

“Then why is their Dad

carrying that rifle?”

I’m doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the morning and Nestle in the afternoon.

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 7


Out ‘n About at

Girdiron

Steinhoisting Event

No time for

steinhoisting... I

am celebrating my retirement

from Elmet

Technologies after

33 years!

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

THE CAR CRUSADER CAN HELP

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The Car Crusader is a free online car shopping tool provided by Community Credit Union. Member

eligibility required. This Credit Union is federally insured by NCUA and is an Equal Housing Lender.

Anita & Mark

Austin

I’m

retiring from

Elmet, too!

VIEW OUR GREAT RATES ONLINE AT

WWW.COMMUNITYCREDITUNION.COM

I’m so sick of my car asking for gas... go get a job!

Out ‘n About at the 50th Wedding Anniversary of

Jackie & Paul Veilleux

Tim & Linda

Tipton

What

took you guys so

long? I retired

from Elmet three

years ago!

Even

after 50 years

of marriage I enjoy

a good joke… the

Digest is the best

source for a

good laugh!

And

cake!

Mike & Dorna

Davis

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

8 Nov. 2019 783-7039

Yesterday, I spotted an albino dalmatian. It was the least I could do for him.


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Redemption Center is

directly behind Dad’s Place

DONATE YOUR

BOTTLES TO

Help grant a wish to a local child

battling a critical illness

See our redemption ad on page 31.


The Secret

Submitted by Thomas Hill

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?

An old man was relaxing

at his hundredth

birthday party when

a reporter went up to

him. “Sir, what is the

secret of your long

life?”

The man considered

this for a moment, then

replied, “Every evening

at 9 p.m. I have a

glass of port. Good for

the heart I’ve heard.”

The reporter then

asked, “That’s ALL?”

The man smiled, “Well,

canceling my voyage

on Titanic sure didn’t

hurt.”

Hunting

Accident

Submitted by Thomas Hill

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www.androscoggin.org

On the first day of the

deer hunting season, a

hunter fell out of a tree

stand and broke both

his legs.

“Why couldn’t this happen

on my last day of

hunting?!” the hunter

cried to the doctor.

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“It did,” the doctor

replied.

Maine Realty Advisors

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Your real estate investment advisor

Brokering your buying & selling needs

207.252.4881 • Frank@MaineRealtyAdvisors.com

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

10 Nov. 2019 783-7039

Did You Know? Turkeys will have 3,500 feathers at maturity.


A cat walks up to a paper shredder and says, “Teach me all you know.”

WITH RESPECT, HONOR, & GRATITUDE

Thank You, Veterans!

Out ‘n About at

Girdiron

Steinhoisting Event

207-530-8890

Out ‘n About at the Auburn Fire Department for Open House

Aimee Pratt &

Cameron Shurtleff

Check

out these guns!

Primed for

steinhoisting!

Where

can I get one

of those fake

mustaches?

Michael

Chase,

Chris

Washburn,

&

Olivia

Veilleux

Devin Michaud

DJ Levesque &

Jerry LeBlond

Fun fact, no woman has ever started an argument with a man

while he was dusting, vacuuming, or washing the dishes.

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 11


Alternative

Medicine

Submitted by

Mark Vaillancourt

My son just called avocado “solid guacamole” and now I feel like I’ve failed as a parent.

The owner of a drug

store walked into his

store one day, only to

notice a man leaning

heavily against a wall.

The owner went over

to his staff member

behind the counter and

asked, “What’s wrong

with that guy over

there by the wall?”

The staff member

replied, “Oh him – he

came in here this

morning to get something

for his cough. I

couldn’t find any cough

syrup, so I gave him

an entire bottle of laxative

instead.”

The owner shouted,

“You fool! What were

you thinking? You can’t

treat a cough with

laxatives!”

The perfect way to get back at a man for forgetting Valentine’s Day is

to forget to cook Thanksgiving dinner.

Out ‘n About at Bradbury Mountain for the

Auburn Recreation Department Senior Trip

The staff member

said, “Of course I can.

Look at him, he’s not

coughed once since

I gave it to him – he’s

too scared!”

I just got a new job as

a security guard. My

boss told me that my

main job is to watch

the office.

I’m on season four so

far, but I’m not sure

what this has to do

with security.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

12

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039

Carol, Jamie, Driver Bren, Lou & Pat

Recently in court I was found guilty of being egotistical. I am appealing.


I haven’t kept up my subscription to the Scrabble Club and

now they are sending me threatening letters.

Home • Auto • Business & More!

We’ve Got You

Covered

Out ‘n About at

Girdiron

Steinhoisting Event

Locally Owned & Operated

150 East Ave. Lewiston

855-219-4011 • 888-983-2246

Roebucks Angus

Tell you saw in

Uncle Andy’s!

Time to place

your orders

for the

holidays!

• NATURAL ANGUS BEEF

• GIFT CERTIFICATES

BURGER • STEAKS • ROASTS

TO ALL OUR VETERANS,

THANK YOU!

INSPECTED

jay - 207.754.1558

sue - 207.754.6558

783 UPPER ST. • TURNER

54 Mill St., New Auburn

783-3444

Bill Locke &

Alan Blais

We

were just

cheerleaders for

the players!

Dawn Frye &

Ed Norton

Those

other players

are lucky I showed

up too late to the

competition!

EST1950 783-3444

OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30a-5:30p, Sat 7:30a-2p

Meet Our Staff!

Ernie, Jin,

Tina, & Terri

Men’s & Boy’s Cuts: $12.00

Why is it when you transport something by car, it’s call a shipment.

But when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Dave & Kathy

Kenney

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 13


Out ‘n About at

The Cage

With The Cage Golf League

Why does fridge have a “D” in it, but refrigerator doesn’t?

Bri the bartender

The

folks here

certainly know how

to cook a good

prime rib!

John Bourgualt

Man,

the jokes in

the Digest crack me

right up! Who

comes up with

these?!

Paul Carpentier

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

14 Nov. 2019 783-7039

A mother’s love is unconditional. Her temper... that’s another story.


I woke up laughing last night. I must’ve slept funny.

Join us for Thanksgiving Dinner

Open 11am - 6pm

Serving our traditional full

course holiday menu!

Plus all of your favorites from

our regular menu!

165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796

Open Tuesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com

I entered a spelling competition and lossed.

Sun. Tues. Wed.: 11am - 8pm

Thurs. Fri. Sat.: 11am - 9pm

Closed Monday

Out ‘n About at Girdiron for their Steinhoisting Event

Cheers

to Uncle Andy’s

Digest!

Bird Dog

Submitted by Thomas Hill

It was a beautiful fall

day. Jimbo and Tim

decided to skip out of

work and go hunting.

Jimbo says to Tim,

“I’ll send my dog out

to see if there are any

ducks in the pond. If

there aren’t any out

there, I’m not going

hunting.”

The dog comes back

and barks twice. Jimbo

says, “Well I’m not going

to go out. He only

saw two ducks when

he was out there.”

Tim says, “You’re

going to take the dog’s

barks for the truth?”

Tim doesn’t believe it,

so he goes to look for

himself.

When he gets back he

says, “I don’t believe

it! Where did you get

that dog? There really

are only two ducks out

there!”

Jimbo says, “Well, I got

him from the breeder

up the road. If you

want, you can get one

from him, too.”

Jeremy Barnies, Charlie Groves, Paul Belanger, & Pete Barnies

Once in a while someone amazing comes along. And here I am.

Tim goes to the breeder

and says he wants

a dog like the one his

friend Jimbo has. The

breeder obliges and

gets Tim a very sharp

and handsome dog.

Continued on next page

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 15


Continued from previous page

Excited, Tim brings the

dog home, tells it to go

out and look for ducks.

Minutes later the dog

returns with a stick in

it’s mouth and starts

wacking Tim with it.

My friend doesn’t understand cloning. That makes two of us.

Outraged, Tim takes

the dog back to the

breeder and says,

“This dog is a fraud. I

want my money back!”

The breeder asks Tim

what the dog did.

Tim tells him that when

he sent the dog out to

look for ducks and it

came back with a stick

in its mouth, shaking it

around and hitting him

with it!

The breeder says,

“Tim, all he was trying

to tell you was that

there are more ducks

out there than you can

shake a stick at!”

Gridiron

is a great

place to hang

out with

friends!

Out ‘n About at Girdiron for their Steinhoisting Event

Out ‘n About with

the Auburn Fire

Department

for their Open House

Greg Bernier, John Whippo, John Thibeault, & Norm LaRoche

It’s Your Choice – Choose Experience

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

16

Kasey

McDonough

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039

Buying or selling a home can be an exciting and challenging experience.

The buyers and sellers have many details to handle before and after the closing.

Our experienced professionals can help you make this experience a smooth one.

207-784-6413 | 844-202-9268

95 Main Street, Auburn • www.androtitle.com

I like to help people find things by pointing out that it’s got to be around here somewhere.


Breaking News! A man claims to have learned how to do origami backwards. More on this story as it unfolds.

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Mugs • Pens

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Why doesn’t someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted

your toast is while it’s toasting?

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 17


Out ‘n About at

The Cage

With The Cage Golf League

What

a great

league - I had

a blast!

I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia. I won’t rest till I find it.

Holiday Decorating

for Your Home or Business

Poinsettias

(4.5” up to 12”)

Tell them you saw them in Uncle Andy’s Digest!

as low as $ 6 .50 as low as $ 6 .50

Tom Smith &

Ryan Wilson

League Champs

I am

definitely

digging the new

glossy paper

the Digest is

printed on!

Cyclamen

(4.5” up to 12”)

Al Gendreau &

Larry Roy

Cheers

to Poland Spring

golf course. It was

spectacular this

year!

Dan Lebrun

Maine Wreaths, Trees, Garland

& Kissing Balls $ 12 and up

Mon. - Fri. 9am - 5:30pm

Sat. & Sun. 9am - 4:30pm

876 Summer St, Auburn

207-777-5129

Email: andrew.mcbean@jfmh.org

Whiting Farm, a division of John F. Murphy Homes is a working

four season farm that is dedicated to community enrichment,

education, and the support of people with disabilities. We offer

flower and vegetable seedlings in the spring, fresh-picked

vegetables all summer, mums and decorative items in the fall,

and everything for your holiday decorating needs.

COUPON

Save 5% when you bring in this coupon

at the time of purchase or use the code

“UA2019” for phone or email orders.

Uncle Andy’s Digest

18

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039

If I had $1 for every time a customer complained about the price of movie food,

I could almost afford a small popcorn.


Accounting

& Tax

Service You

Can Trust!

I relabeled all the jars in my wife’s spice rack. I’m not in trouble yet,

but the thyme is cumin.

MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.

Certified Public Accountant

Tax Planning & Preparation

for Individuals and Business

207.782.1040 • PO Box 895, Auburn

mspauldingandrostax@outlook.com

Poisson & Sons Auto Care

260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144

FULL SERVICE GAS STATION

November

stickers are due!

Auto Repairs • Maintenance Inspections

K1 • Alignments • Computer

Diagnostics • State Inspections & More!

93 Octane Premium Petrol

Now Available!

$

29 initial visit

includes consult, exam, & adjustment

MAINE’S ONLY

MEMBERSHIP CHIROPRACTOR

Future visits as low as $20 with membership

See website for details

www.207chiro.com

Dr. Jeff Clark treats

his patient in his

Auburn office

Young

Entrepreneur

Submitted by Thomas Hill

Robert, who was 6

years old, was looking

at the red ripe tomatoes

growing in Farmer

White’s garden.

“I’ll give you my two

pennies for that

tomato,” said Robert

pointing to a beautiful,

large, ripe fruit hanging

on the vine.

• Safe & Secure

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(207) 401-2000

439 Lewiston Rd. Topsham

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• Reasonable Rates

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“No, I can’t do that,”

replied Farmer White,

“I can get a dime for a

tomato like that one.”

So Robert pointed to a

smaller green tomato,

“Will you take two pennies

for that one?”

“Yes, absolutely. I can

sell you that tomato for

two cents.”

Robert handed the

farmer his two pennies

and shook his hand.

“OK,” said Robert

smiling proudly, “I’ll be

back in one week’s

time to collect the

tomato.”

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 19


1567 Lisbon Street

Lewiston

777-6353

gridironrestaurant.com

Daily Specials

LEWISTON, MAINE

Thank You LA

& Beyond!

Sunday, 3rd

Pot roast dinner

w/mashed, gravy,

veggies, & garlic toast

$9.99

Monday, 4th

Shepherd’s pie

w/garlic toast

$7.99

Tuesday, 5th

American chop

suey

w/garlic toast

$5.99

Wednesday, 6th

Baked 1/2

chicken

w/rice or fries, veggies,

& garlic toast

$10.99

Thursday, 7th

Salmon pie

topped w/white

sauce

w/rice, veggies,

& garlic toast

$9.99

Sunday, 10th

Baked ham

dinner

w/mashed, gravy,

veggies, & garlic toast

Monday, 11th

Spaghetti &

meatballs

w/salad & garlic toast

Tuesday, 12th

Meatball sub

topped w/cheese

w/fries

Wednesday, 13th

Shrimp, sausage,

& chicken

jambalaya

w/bread

Thursday, 14th

Chicken pot pie

topped w/puff

pastry

w/rice or fries

$10.99 $8.99 $8.99 $9.99 $7.99

Sunday, 17th

Thanksgiving

turkey dinner

Monday, 18th

Beef stew over

mashed potatoes

Tuesday, 19th

Baked stuffed

shells

Wednesday, 20th

Stuffed peppers

w/garlic toast

Thursday, 21st

Shepherd’s pie

w/garlic toast

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

11am to 10pm

Friday, 1st

Three meat

lasagna

w/salad & garlic toast

Saturday, 2nd

Stuffed pork

chops

w/mashed, gravy,

veggies, & garlic toast

$12.99

$12.99

Friday, 8th

Baked crab

stuffed haddock

w/rice, veggies, &

garlic toast

Saturday, 9th

Homemade

meatloaf

w/mashed, gravy,

veggies, & garlic toast

$12.99

$10.99

Friday, 15th

Baked lobster

stuffed haddock

w/rice, veggies, &

garlic toast

Saturday, 16th

Roast pork dinner

w/mashed, gravy,

veggies, & garlic toast

$14.99

$10.99

Friday, 22nd

Baked gouda

lobster mac ’n

Saturday, 23rd

Beef brisket

dinner


$10.99

Sunday, 24th

Country fried

steak

w/mashed, gravy,

veggies, & garlic toast

$12.99

SUPER

SUNDAY

SPICY BLOODY MARY

$5.00

SPIKED CHERRY COLA

$4.00

ELYSIAN SPACE DUST IPA

$4.50 SM

$6.50 TALL

PEPPERONI PIZZA

$6.99

POT ROAST DINNER

$9.99

COCONUT SHRIMP

$1.00 ea

w/garlic toast

$7.99

Monday 25th

Chicken

chimichanga

w/rice

$8.99

MONDAY

MADNESS

MICRO DRAFT PINTS

$4.00

BUD/BUD LIGHT

DRAFT PINTS

$2.50

SPIKED BLUEBERRY

SODA

$4.00

BLOOMING

ONION PETALS

$5.99

TERIYAKI SIRLOIN

TIPS

W/FRIES & GARLIC

TOAST

$12.99

JALAPEÑO CHEDDAR

RANGOONS

$1.00 ea

w/salad & garlic toast

$8.99 $7.99 $7.99

Tuesday, 26th

BBQ pulled pork

sandwich topped

w/bacon &

coleslaw

w/fries

$8.99

TWISTED

TUESDAY

DOMESTIC BOTTLES

$ 2.00

SPIKED RASPBERRY

ICED TEA

$4.00

MICRO BOTTLES/CANS

$3.00

SWEET & SOUR CRISPY

CHICKEN STIR FRY

OVER RICE W/PEPPERS &

ONIONS

$8.99

SWEET & SPICY TENDERS

OR

CHICKEN WINGS

$1.00 ea

Wednesday, 27th

Pig pen burger

topped w/pulled

pork, bacon, &

ham

w/fries

$10.99

WICKED

WEDNESDAY

GOOSE ISLAND OR

GEARY’S BLUEBERRY

$4.00 SM

$6.00 TALL

BUD/BUD LIGHT

DRAFT

$2.50 SM

$3.50 TALL

SPIKED STRAWBERRY

KIWI LEMONADE

$4.00

TERIYAKI, ONION, &

SWISS BURGER

W/FRIES

$8.99

Thursday, 28th

Closed Today

THIRSTY

THURSDAY

VOODOO COCKTAILS

$4.00 PINT

$8.00 BUCKET

MICHELOB ULTRA

DRAFT

$2.50 SM

$3.50 TALL

ALL VARIETIES

SAM ADAMS

$4.00 SM

$6.00 TALL

GLASS OF WINE OR SPIKED

PEACH GINGER ALE

$4.00

FRESH HADDOCK FISH

AND CHIPS

$8.99

cheese

w/salad & garlic toast

$14.99

Friday, 29th

Fried scallops

w/fries & coleslaw

sm. $9.99 lg. $16.99

Black Friday

gift card sale!

Buy a $25 gift card

and get a 25% BONUS.

From 6-11am

FINALLY

FRIDAY

VODKA LEMONADE

$5.00

SHOCK TOP

$3.00 SM

$4.00 TALL

SPIKED BLUE

RASPBERRY LEMONADE

$4.00

FRIED SCALLOP BASKET

$9.99

CRAB RANGOONS

$1.00 ea

w/mashed, gravy,

veggies, & garlic toast

$10.99

Saturday, 30th

Shrimp, sausage,

& chicken

jambalaya

w/bread

$9.99

SPECTACULAR

SATURDAY

SPIKED WILDBERRY

SIERRA MIST

$4.00

SHIPYARD DRAFTS

$4.00 SM

$6.00 TALL

FRIED SHRIMP BASKET

$9.99

HALF RACK OF BBQ RIBS

W/FRIES & GARLIC TOAST

$9.99 ea


OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSES

Pumpkin Pie

Submitted by Jimbo

Jolene was only eight

years old and lived

way out in the country

with her parents who

rarely entertained

any visitors. One day

Jolene’s mother said

that her father was

bringing two guests

home for Thanksgiving

supper.

After they had enjoyed

the turkey, Jolene went

to the kitchen to help

her mother. She proudly

brought out the first

piece of pumpkin pie

and gave it to her father,

who then passed

the plate to a guest.

When Jolene came out

with the second piece

and gave it to her

father, he again gave

it to a guest. This was

too much for the little

girl.

“It’s no use, Daddy,”

she cried. “The pieces

are all the same size.”

POLLY’S VARIETY

115 King Street • Oxford

Voted one of

Maine’s Best

Pizza Places!

Federal

Firearms

License

2016 WMTW

Facebook Fan poll

PA’S

TRADIN’

COMPANY Inc.

BUY • SELL • TRADE

PAWN

Gun Background Checks/Transfers

Fire Arms Transfers $ 25/each

1447 Main Street, Oxford

Only 25 Minutes from Auburn & Gray

Open Mon-Sat. 9am - 5pm

207-743-0709 or 1-877-743-0709

207-539-8254

Hunters just

love this place! Me,

not so much!

No More Crackers

Polly W ants Pizza

Monday - Tuesday: 4:30am - 8:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 4:30am - 9:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 8:00pm

I’ve got a dog that does magic. He’s a labracadabradour.

We

Have

Tarps!

I often wonder if the guy who came up with the term, “One Hit Wonder”, came up with any other phrases.

OFFERING

Residential

Commercial

Clean Outs

Roll Offs

844-ME-TRASH

844-638-7274

The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!

SERVING

Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland

Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples

9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com

FIREWOOD • PLOWING • SANDING

Guy McAlister

Owner/Operator

207-393-7507

44 Tucker St., Norway

gpmfirewood@gmail.com


As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog. – Gary Delaney

THE AMERICAN LEGION

FAMILY

HOURS

Mon. - Sat. noon to close

Sun. 11am to close

New Law - American Legion Act

Veterans who were honorably discharged

but whose service did not fall into the

previous defined war eras may now join

The American Legion immediately. The

eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,

until a time when the U.S. is no longer at

war, as determined by Congress.

Contact us today and ask us how you can

become a member!

Hall Rentals Available

Call for more information

207-782-1118

71 South Main St, Auburn

207-782-1118

Members & Guests Welcome

MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS

FRIDAY & SATURDAY 7-11pm in November

Jerry Joe - November 1st, 15th, & 29th • 4:30 - 6:30pm

AUXILIARY DINNER Smothered beef & onions, $8 for adults

SATURDAY, NOV. 2 ND mashed potatoes or noodles, $4 under 10 years old

4:30-6:30pm carrots & peas, roll, & desserts 50/50 Raffle

VETERANS DAY CELEBRATION - CHILI COOKOFF

MONDAY, NOV. 11 TH

11:30am

BREAKFAST BUFFET

SUNDAY, NOV. 17 TH , 8-10am

MONTHLY MEETING

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 20 TH , 7pm

LEGION SPAGHETTI DINNER

FRIDAY, NOV. 22 ND

4:30-6:30pm

NFL Sundays are here

Someone told me that whales could squirt ink, then I realized they were just squidding.

Out ‘n About at The Cage with The Cage Golf League

No Charge

Come get some chili!

$7 for adults, $4 under 10 years old

50/50 Raffle

Spaghetti &

meatballs w/salad,

roll, & desserts

50/50 Raffle & attending

members have a chance to win

$100, $150, or $25

$8 for adults

$4 under 10 years old

50/50 Raffle

Come to the post to enjoy food and Miller Lite & Coors Light

draft specials from 11:30 until the end of the 1st game

Out ‘n About at

The Cage

With The Cage Golf League

Dave Pontbriand

& Bobby Breau

Real

golfers

don’t miss

putts,

they get

robbed.

Jim Verville &

Steve Bannister

It’s

never fun

to see the golf

season come to

an end!

Yep, The

Cage puts out a

prime rib dinner like

you read about!

Denis Weber, Michelle Green, & Rodney Green

Did You Know? The first movie ever to put out a motion-picture soundtrack

was Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Steve Dussault

Sandbagger

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 23


Out ‘n About at

The Cage

With The Cage Golf League

Hard

to believe that

Leslie Nielson’s stunt

double golfs in our

league!

A friend of mine did an awful version of an 80s classic at karaoke.

It went down like 99 lead balloons.

SABATTUS MAIN STREET MARKET

2 Main St., Sabattus • Open 7 days 6am - 8pm • 375-8502

Try Us Once,

You’ll Be A Regular!

Now

Offering

10"

gluten

free pizza

John “JT” Therrien

& Nel Anctil

Open 7 Days a Week • 6am - 8pm

Buy 1 Large

Pizza, Get 1

Half Off

Exp. 11.30.19

All of us

turkeys here

want to wish you

all a Happy

Thanksgiving!

16 sodium molecules walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

Don Mercier &

Scott Anctil

We

love our

Boston

sports

teams!

The Fortin Group

Proudly serving the communities of Lewiston and Auburn

for over one hundred years.

November is Hospice Appreciation Month:

We’d like to thank our hospice partners for their

kindness, compassion, and service to families in

our communities.

Find us on Facebook @TheFortinGroupFuneralHome

217 Turner Street

Auburn

207-783-8545

70 Horton Street

Lewiston

207-784-4584

Kyle Bennett &

Justin Bernier

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

24 Nov. 2019 783-7039

I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that’s where the little

liar will stay until it apologizes.


My wife asked if she could have peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.

I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.

207.784.1541

easy@easyrentall.com

20 South Ave.

Lewiston

EasyRentAll.com

WE MAKE IT EASY

YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN

Competitive

Rental

Rates

Work Smarter - Not Harder

’Twas the night of

Thanksgiving,

but I just couldn’t

sleep...

I tried counting backwards,

I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned...the

dark meat

and white,

but I fought the temptation

with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with

anticipation,

the thought of a snack

became infatuation.

CONTRACTOR AND HOMEOWNER EQUIPMENT RENTALS

A big shout out to my arms for always being by my side.

So, I raced to the kitchen,

flung open the door

and gazed at the fridge,

full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and

buttered potatoes,

Looking for your

DREAM

HOME?

259 Minot Avenue, Auburn

207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.com

Come see

us at

our new

location!

stuffing with gravy,

green beans and

tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so

plump and so round,

till all of a sudden, I rose

off the ground.

I crashed through the

ceiling, floating into the

sky,

with a mouthful of

pudding and a handful

of pie

But, I managed to yell

as I soared past the

trees...

Jon Mercier

Owner/Broker

Mark Turner

Owner/Broker

Brandon Caruso

Associate Broker

Toni Ferraro

Associate Broker

Deb Morin

Associate Broker

Zach Caldwell

Sales Agent

Happy eating to all --

pass the cranberries,

please.

If Watson isn’t the most famous doctor in the world then Who is?

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 25


JUMP!

Submitted by Thomas Hill

A doctor, a lawyer, a

little boy, and a priest

were on a flight on a

small private plane.

Suddenly, the plane

started shaking and

wobbling and experiencing

extreme

turbulence.

The pilot worked

feverishly as the plane

started to go down. Finally,

the pilot grabbed

a parachute and prepared

to jump.

“I cannot fix this

plane,” the pilot yelled.

“You need to grab

parachutes and jump!”

Unfortunately, there

were only three parachutes

remaining. The

doctor grabbed one

and said “I’m a doctor,

so I must live,” and

jumped out.

The lawyer then said,

“I’m a lawyer and lawyers

are the smartest

people. I deserve to

live.” He also grabbed

one and jumped.

The priest looked at

the little boy and said,

“My son, I’ve lived a

long and full life. You

are young and have

your whole life ahead

of you. Take the last

one and live in peace.”

The little boy handed

the parachute back

to the priest and said,

“Not to worry, Father.

The ‘smartest man’ just

took off with my back

pack!”

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

26

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039

There is a new Elvis themed steak restaurant for people who love meat tender.

Rolly’s

RollysNewAuburn.com

Diner

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!

Out ’n About celebrating

Rolly’s Birthday!

For some reeson I’ve nether won a gaim of skrabel.

YOUR VISION. OUR EXPERTISE.

KITCHENS • BATHS • DECKS & MORE!

5%

your estimate or to

in the month

of November

off

207-212-7791

www.vghomeimprovements.com

Breakfast & Lunch

Specials Daily

• Unusual Omelettes

• Crepes

• Breakfast All Day

• Extensive Menu

87 Mill St.

New Auburn

753-0171

(for take-out)

Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm

Sunday 7 am – noon

• Windows/Doors

• Siding

• Custom Tile

• Lead Certified

• VA Special Adaptive

Housing

• Handicap Accessible

Projects

Scientists got bored of watching the world turn for 24 hours so they called it a day.


Before the drawing board was invented what did people go back to?

INSURANCE

Senior Planning

CENTER

FINANCIAL SERVICES

We represent all the Major

Medicare Health & Part D Plans!

Medicare Advantage

Medicare Supplements

Part D Rx

Retirement Planning

Hospital Indemnity

Taxes

Life Insurance

Obamacare (ACA)

Social Security &

Disability Advocacy

Dental & Vision

When you need

help with a Medicare

Health Plan, don’t call an

out of state 800#. You want to

talk to your local Maine experts

who care!

Out ‘n About with

the Auburn Fire

Department

for their Open House

A big thank

you for making our

AFD Open House a

success. We’ll see

you next year!

Megan Crowell

My lack of knowledge on Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.

Out ‘n About

waiting to spray

someone!

Out ‘n About at the Auburn Fire Department for Open House

Mason Smith,

Natalie Bowie,

Ashley Walder,

&

Bradley Smith

Dan Hillier

John Gravel

The dental hygienist said my teeth made her think of the band Cold Play.

They were all yellow.

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 27


Turkey Prep

Submitted by Jimbo

Young Simon was

sitting in his grandmother’s

kitchen,

watching her prepare

the Thanksgiving meal.

“What are you doing?”

Simon inquired.

“Oh, I’m just stuffing

the turkey,” his grandmother

replied.

“Wow, that’s cool!”

Simon remarked. “Are

you going to hang it

next to the deer?”

The Best

Submitted by Thomas Hill

The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.

Making Memories!

Family Portraits

Last a Lifetime

Now booking family sessions for the

holiday season in studio or on location

Mention this ad for $25 OFF

your print purchase!

www.creativeonesphotography.com or

Call 207-333-9844

Located in Photo Finish in the Auburn Mall

Happy Veterans Day to those who served!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The four seasons were

arguing about which of

them was the best.

Winter boasts, “Well,

you can build snowmen

and the snow is so

beautiful. Plus everyone

loves Christmas!”

Spring laughs, “Well

sure, but come springtime,

everything is so

fresh and new! All the

new flowers - it can’t

get much better than

that!”

Summer rays, “Yes,

but I am undoubtedly

the overall best

season! Bathing

suits, ice cream, nice

weather - you can’t top

that. What about you

autumn, what do you

have to offer?”

Autumn ~ *-leaves-*

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

28

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039

RoySnow.com

207.782.3734

Serving Maine since 1947

Oh, and before you ask, I am psychic.

11 Library Ave.

Auburn

CALL FOR A TOUR!

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn

207-783-0961

Rosemary Camire Knight


Where did your Mom learn all the stuff she warned you not to do.

Since 1953

Hours: Mon. - Sat. 9a - 10p • Sun. 9a - 8p

LuiggisPizzeria.com

~ DAILY SPECIALS ~

Everyday

1 topping Pizza

w/ meat

$

6.99

wednesday

Spaghetti

Special

$

7.25

Monday

The Fergy

sm. $ 3.25 lg. $ 6.50

thursday

Mini Pizza

1 topping $ 3.60

2 toppings $ 4.45

tuesday

Meatball Sub

sm. $ 3.75 w/cheese $ 4.25

lg. $ 7.50 w/cheese $ 8.50

friday

$

1.00 off

any large pizza

We all know that Albert Einstein was a genius. But his brother Frank was a monster.

Out ‘n About with

the Auburn Fire

Department

for their Open House

Wow,

we’re in both

LA Metro Magazine

and the Digest!

What do you think

of that, Rocky?

Don Cousins

It

may be

time for me

to get an

agent!

Out ‘n About at Ricker Hill Orchard

If I just

bury him here,

then I don’t have

to share my

toys, right?

Rocky

Auburn Police K9 Officer

Simon & Caden play in the “corn box”

I tried to buy a copy of The Hobbit. But the self checkout told me

there was an unexpected Baggins in the item area.

Betty Perkins

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 29


CALL THE PROS

25 Fern Street

Turner, Maine 04282

(207) 225-5012

www.dickautobody.com

COMPLETE

MECHANICAL REPAIR

I’ll have her

back on the road in

no time!

A/C got you down? We can take care of that!

Happy Veterans Day

We Give Honor To Our Veterans

The Brave Men & Women of Our Armed Forces

From your friends at

Thank

You

26 Nickerson Ave, Auburn

207-784-2545

FULL COLOR & B/W printing & copying

Posters • Booklets • Carbonless forms

Envelopes • Business Cards & More!

60 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com

We get down & dirty

so you don’t have to!

FARRELL

ENTERPRISES

BUILDINGS AND PROPERTIES CLEANED

Nearly Anything

Removed

Trash • Metals • Demolition & More!

Fully Insured

Michael Farrell

207-576-2501

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

30

The Village Sweep

Chimney Cleaning, Liners, Repairs

207-783-2497

LA MASONRY

Brick, Stone, Blocks

207-212-4505

No Job too Small - For All Your Masonry Needs

Do You or Your Parents Need Help

Moving or Organizing?

Overwhelmed by

clutter?

Call the pros at

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039

Facing a daunting

relocation?

Senior Downsizing

Home Staging • Interior Design

207-200-6507 • refresh207.com

SCUBA!

A perfect Christmas gift for the whole family!

Commercial Cleaning, LLC

805 Main Street, Lewiston

784-7300

skindiversparadise.com

Now

Hiring!

No experience necessary!

$12.00 & up

Apply in Person

1 Bellegarde Circle, Lewiston

207-786-4042

Rosescleaning@Rosescommercialcleaning.com

Driving by myself is so hard. I have to be the lead singer, the backup singer,

and choreograph my dance, all by myself.


CALL THE PROS

LYAF BINGO

Pleasant Street Bingo Hall • 475 Pleasant St., Lewiston

777-1394

Thursday & Friday @ 6:30p

Saturday & Sunday @6:00p

Join us for some

affordable fun!

$10 for up to 48 cards

Games pay out $50-$100

REDEMPTION CENTER

6

¢

on all 5¢ returns

with this coupon.

(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting)

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place

Hours: Monday - Sunday 9am - 5pm

(closed Tuesdays & Major Holidays) UAD exp. 11.30.19

Fine Line Gun Shop

GUNS • AMMO • SUPPLIES

HUGE

selection of

hunting rifles!

finelinegun@aol.com

(207) 998-2374

590 Plains Rd., Poland

RON’S

TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE

OIL CHANGES

SHOCKS

STRUTS

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YOUR FULL

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Ron for a check up!

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Mike Magretto

Veteran Owned & Operated 207-530-8890

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557 Lincoln Rd, Lewiston • 207-783-1731 • BobsPeanuts.com

Tues, Wed, Thurs 9a-5p; Fri 9a-3p (By appointment only 12-1)

How many light bulbs does it take to change people?

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 31


Out ‘n About with

the Auburn Fire

Department

for their Open House

To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Office... I will find you. You have my Word.

Roy’s FOODLAND

Saturday Bean Special

Beans, Bread/Rolls & Cole Slaw, $8.99

Wednesday Italian Special

Ham, Salami, Veggie or Pepperoni, $1.99

PARTY SPECIALS

Pizza Packs only $ 8.99 • 2lb Pepperoni Pks only $ 5.99

Ground Fresh Daily Hamburger • Steaks • Chicken • Ground Pork

Check out

our Thanksgiving

and daily

specials &

Buy 1, Get 1

specials!

Hours:

Mon. - Thurs. 8am - 6pm

Fri. 8am - 7pm

Sat. 8am - 6pm

Sun. closed

Don’t forget your chicken salad,“best in town” or ham salad!

70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471 • ShopAtRoysFoodland.com

Brian Grant

I’m glad this

Monitor/Defibrillator

machine was just for

display at the Open

House!

Brad Chicoine

KNOW

WHO

YOU

HIRE!

Maine’s largest resource for:

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Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

32 Nov. 2019 783-7039

I just got attacked by Boy George’s lizard. He needs a calmer chameleon.


We’re about to have a bad spell of wether.

For Any Disaster, Call ServiceMASTER!

Last Minute

Turkey

Submitted by Thomas Hill

It’s the day before

Thanksgiving, and the

butcher is just locking

up the shop. Keith

sees the butcher closing

and runs up to the

front door and begins

pounding on it.

“Please let me in,”

says Keith desperately,

“I forgot to buy

a turkey, and Tyla will

kill me if I don’t come

home with one.”

EMERGENCY RESPONSE

• Fire / Soot / Smoke

• Odor Removal

• Water Damage

• Mold

• Sewage

• Trauma Cleanup

I just saw some idiot at the gym put a bottle of water in the

Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Come & Enjoy Our Daily Specials!

MONDAY

75¢ Wings

Cheeseburger Special $5.99

25oz domestic drafts $3.50

WEDNESDAY

3 Beef Tacos $5.99

Thatcher’s Burrito $6.99

Well Margaritas $5 • Coronas $3

TUESDAY

75¢ Wings

Thatcher’s Burger $7.99

25oz domestic drafts $3.50

FRIDAY

Fish & Chips $10.99

Teriyaki Tips w/mashed $12.99

SUNDAY

12” Cheese Pizza $5.99

Bloody Mary’s $5

Bud Drafts $2

THURSDAY

Stuffed Peppers $7.99

Buffalo Chicken Salad $10.99

All Microbrews $4.00

SATURDAY

Fried Scallops $13.00

2 Hot Dogs w/fries $5.99

Miller Lite Bottles $2.50

ServiceMaster Fire & Water Restoration

I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it James.

29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn

800-244-7630 • 207-539-4452

www.smfireandwater.com

Man, am I

glad I’m not a

turkey!

“A place where family & friends gather

for good food & cheer at great prices!”

Auburn Mall • 207-782-2135

Monday - Saturday, 10:30am - 9pm; Sunday, 11am -5pm

“Okay,” says the butcher,

“Let me see what I

have left.”

He goes into the

freezer and discovers

that there’s one last

scrawny turkey left. He

brings it out to present

it to the frantic

customer.

“That’s one is too

skinny. What else have

you got?” asks Keith.

The butcher takes

the bird back into the

freezer and waits a few

minutes and brings the

same turkey back out

to show.

“Oh, no,” says Keith.

“That one doesn’t look

any better. You better

give me both of them!”

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 33


A chicken coop only has two doors because

if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Shop early for the Holidays!

Pick up a Frank’s gift card!

It’s

What

They

Want!

A U B U R N • M A D I S O N • N O R W A Y

A U S T I N P A . C O M

Your Financial Team

EST. 2017

RESTAURANT & PUB

2 Main St. Lisbon Falls • (207) 407-4606

www.franksrestaurantpub.com

Dangerous

Foods

Submitted by Tyla Davis

One day, a nutritionist

was speaking about

the dangers of certain

foods.

He told them, “You

have to be aware

of hidden dangers.

Hydrogenated fats are

killers. Soda pop melts

your tooth enamel and

eats away your stomach

lining. Most prepared

foods are high in

sugar, salt, and MSG.

Even our drinking

water can be harmful if

not pure enough.

The physician continued,

“But there’s one

food that’s the most

dangerous of all. Can

anybody tell me what

food causes the most

grief and suffering

even years after consuming

it?”

The audience was

silent until an older

man in the second row

spoke up and said,

“Wedding Cake?”

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

34

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039


It was raining cats and dogs the other day. I almost stepped in a poodle.

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Out ‘n About with

the Auburn Fire

Department

for their Open House

It was a

blast doing the face

painting!

Kayla Newmeyer

And

my dalmatian

face looks awesome!

Thanks, Kayla!

I’m in a long distance relationship. I married a taller person.

SERVING LA FOR MORE

THAN

BREAKFAST SPECIALS

$

6.45

includes coffee or small beverage

monday 2 eggs, sausage, home fries

& toast

tuesday 2 eggs, corned beef hash

& toast

wednesday 3 blueberry pancakes

Fresh Steak Cut &

Ground Daily!

You won’t go

hungry at Roy’s!

$

1

OFF

any purchase

of $ 6 .00 or more

1 coupon per order

Katelynn,

Hannah, & Angie

Snow

thursday French Toast

friday 2 item omelet & toast

saturday 2 golden pancakes &

sausage

sunday French Crepes

783-4304

Phone orders are welcome

Please, no reproduction

of coupons

expires 11.30.19

5 Washington St. Auburn

Mon. - Fri. 5am - 8pm

Sat. & Sun. 6am - 8pm

Matt Bennett

Forest Ranger

She broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 35


Out ‘n About with

the Auburn Fire

Department

for their Open House

What

a fun day for the

whole family!

Every time I hear the dirty word “exercise”, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

PRINT IS MEMORABLE.

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Eric, Megan, &

Alaina Camire

Dave O’Connell &

Sarah Hulbert

Hey

Dad!

Call Us Today!

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

36

Kaleigh

O’Connell

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 783-7039

207-783-7039

UncleAndys.com

The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise

but the fire trucks ruined it.


You must be some kind of weirdo to like The Doors. I guess People Are Strange.

There’s something about

warm food on a Snowy Day!

Fresh Donuts • UFO’s • Pizza • Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

Serving Greater LA since the 1950s.

GEORGIO’S Healthy Choices too! Soups, Salads & more!

Locally owned & operated

Coffee and

a donut!

open daily 5am-8pm

Eat-In or Take-Out

Breakfast

sandwich

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years. Getting over the hill was a workout!

My husband is street smart. Sesame Street smart.

Can’t wait to

get my UFO!

Time to

EAT!

Out ‘n About at the Auburn Fire Department for Open House

Chuck Norris

frequently donates

blood to the Red

Cross.

Just

not his

own!

Willie Danforth & Chris Swan

Frozen

Submitted by Thomas Hill

Martha had a parrot

called Brutus, the only

problem was that Brutus

cussed something

awful. Now Martha

was having her in-laws

over for Thanksgiving,

and so she needed to

train Brutus quickly not

to swear.

Just before her

Mother-in-law was

due, Brutus cussed

terribly, so Martha put

him in the freezer for 2

minutes to literally cool

off. Then she opened

the door and took out

the parrot along with

the turkey.

“Have you learned

your lesson about

cussing?” Martha

asked the parrot.

Brutus the parrot took

one look at the dead

turkey and said, “I sure

have. But I have one

question, “What did the

turkey do?”

Gratitude

Submitted by Jimbo

In the week before

Thanksgiving Lindsay

asked her class of nine

year-olds to write a

paragraph titled:

What I am most thankful

for on Thanksgiving

Day.

All Joey could write

was, “I am thankful

that I’m not a turkey at

Thanksgiving.”

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

Nov. 2019 UncleAndys.com 37


THE FACES OF

questionable legal ownership, before a transaction is scheduled

to close.”

holiday.”

accurate service.

Get some great exposure

for your company

with our unique

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FACES

of LA

PROMOTION

PROMOTION

FACES

of LA

Photo by Brewster Burns

FACES

of LA

Written by Michael Krapovicky

Photography by Jose Leiva

THE FACES OF

A TIME-TESTED LEGACY

The faces a the helm have changed bu their goal The partners commend their predecessors for building

remains the same: stay local and give back. For nearly strong values, which a lows them to adapt, change, and

70 years they have been headquartered in Lewiston grow as the industry changes. “Our success is due to our

Two Great Fa ls Plaza, Auburn

Auburn. The secre to maintaining longevity of the dedicated sta f, some of whom have been with the firm

& 178 Main Street, Norway

businesses is keeping it local! Austin Associate supports for over forty years. They are more than just employees,

their clients, their community, and their fellow businesses they are the heartbeat of our firm, they are family,” says,

and for almost seven decades that sti l remains the core managing partner Phil Doucette. “Austin Associates

of the company’s culture.

is firmly grounded, and it’s easy to see tha the more

things change, the more they stay the same.”

44 LA METRO MAGAZINE | SPRING 2019

LA METRO MAGAZINE digital edition @ LAMetroMagazine.com 45

Austin Associates

L to R: Phil Doucette, Steven Bosinger,

Jeremy Marchessault, Steve Austin,

Crystal Marchessault & Scott Booker

LA is our home!

FACES

of LA

Written by Nicole Breton

Photo by Jose Leiva

THE FACES OF

Quality, knowledge, and service

44 | MEDCo ha set itself apart in the burgeoning

medical Helping people

cannabis field, providing asserts a comfortable

environment where people feel welcome.

“We have customers with ailments that a fec their life,” confirms Couture. “We are able to help many people, in a safe

and welcoming “We quality of

Production Manager Joey Johnson. marijuana environment.”

pride ourselves on being a place where

people can Medical is prescribed by doctors for a leviating general glaucoma, arthritis, Community involvement

come and ask questions and factual pain,

and cancer, among other ing people receive

information,” says Operating Manager

Alex McMahan.

infirmities. “Seeing

getting majo relief through the use of our products Lewiston Downtown MEDCo is part of the LA neighborhood. “We are is very satisfying to me.”

Association,” says McMahan, members of

the top “and one of

sponsors for the 2019 Ba loon Festival.”

MEDCo’ state-certified grow facilities are run by er Joe Couture. Master Grower

“One of our goals has been Says Couture, LA METRO MAGAZINE SUMMER 2019

to increase the able to contribute and give something back to the city we live

“It has been very rewarding to know that we are

awareness of cannabis’ medical benefits to the general public,” in.”

LA METRO MAGAZINE digital edition @ LAMetroMagazine.com 45

THE HEALING COMMUNITY

MEDCo

40 Lisbon Street, Lewiston

1-866-426-3326 • thcmedco.com

L to R: Joey Johnson, Alex McMahan, & Joe Couture

PROMOTION

THE REAL ESTATE

CLOSING TEAM

Treworgy & Baldacci

223 Main Street, 1st floor, Auburn

Building relationships through reliability

Front Row: Bobby Treworgy, Corey St. Pierre,

a one-room office space on Main Street in

community three years ago, starting out in

www.treworgy-baldacci.com

Treworgy & Baldacci joined the LA business

Chandra Dionne, Diane Thomas. Back Row: Nicole Breton,

Christine Fecteau, Jodi Morse, Tammy Pierce, Mary E len Taylor

Auburn, with two employees. The sma l team

space. While still on Main Street, a sta f of eight now occupies

worked diligently to establish solid relationships

the first floor of the historic Garcelon House.

within the industry, with a primary focus on

being adaptive to business demands. Their consistency

and unwavering spirit paid off. Within

the first year, the team outgrew their tiny office

“Working co lectively as a team is crucial,” remarks Chandra Dionne,

office manager. “Each of us contributes to every transaction

we complete, including our in-house attorneys who review

an issue. You wi l often find us conducting real estate closings

each file to verify a title is clear of any liens, encumbrances, or

in any part of the state, from Aroostook County to York

County, sometimes long after conventional business hours

have ended, and even on the occasional weekend or

“The word ‘no’ is not in our vocabulary,” states Corey St.

Pierre, marketing director/closer. “Time and location are never

While the Auburn office is relatively new to this area,

Treworgy & Baldacci has been operating in Maine for over

40 years. The team firmly believes their continued growth

and success is based upon continua ly meeting their

customer’s needs by providing fast, economical, and

A two-page spread with a professional photograph

with a short bio professionally done by our team of

photographers and writers. A major WOW factor!

Be part of LA’s magazine that keeps

LA

>>> Moving

Forward >>>

Call us TODAY to learn more: 207-783-7039

or email: info@LAMetroMagazine.com


MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE

1052 Minot Avenue Auburn

207-783-6885

MacsGrill.com

Where the

locals eat!

Try any one of our

delicious appetizers!

Book your

Holiday events at

Mac’s NOW!

Shown here:

Coconut Shrimp

Skewered shrimp dipped

in a sweet batter & coconut.

Thank You Veterans

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We want to thank our Veterans

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207-783-6885

Book Your Holiday

Event with US!


*restrictions apply

Home of the Two Year Warranty on all parts & labor*

Pricing Policy

Heavy duty pickup ...... $149.95

Full size van .......... $149.95

Plus applicable taxes

2 door pickup . ......... $139.95

X-large SUV . .......... $149.95

3 & 4 door pickup ....... $149.95

Any car .............. $129.95

Mini van ............. $139.95

Sm., Med., or Lg. SUV ... $139.95

23 Lisbon St., Lisbon/Lewiston line • theshopclassicrestorations.com • 207-353-6100

Schedule your

appointment with

Dr. Chen

today!

207-783-1351

844-DOC-CHEN

730 Center St. Auburn (Big Lots) Plaza

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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.

23 Lisbon Street • Lisbon, ME

207-353-6100

www.theshopclassicrestoration.com

the ULTIMATE in RUST PROTECTION

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo

40 Nov. 2019 783-7039 UncleAndysDigest.com

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