Optimal Living Magazine Winter 2019 Issue

Winter 2019

THE ENEMY

OF YOUR LIFE

IS AFTER

YOUR TIME

4 Ways To Keep Your

Marriage Strong for

the Long Haul

What to Do When You

Realize Mental Illness

Is at Play in Your Life

GUESS WHO’S

GETTING

MARRIED?

Meet Us @

Wives Who

Love to

Brunch &

Pray

HOW I MET &

MARRIED MY

MAN OF GOD

much

more

HOME DECOR

UPGRADES FOR 2020

Subscribe to Optimal Living Magazine: www.optimal-livingmagazine.com 3

Our Staff

Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Tanisha Hopson

Associate Editor

K. Cathcart

Contributing Writers

Delonda Adams

Mishell Ellis

Chanel-Alexandria Washington

Elizabeth A. Johnson

Janice McMillian

Wendye Savage

Candace Thornley

Table of Contents

05 The Publisher’s Perspective

06 Purpose Driven Living Tips

08 Guess Who’s Getting Married?

10 How I Met & Married

My Man of God

12 4 Ways To Keep Your Marriage

Strong for the Long Haul

14 Career & Leadership Insight

16 Life & Style

18 Spices of Life Recipes

20 Optimal Living Confession Of Faith

21 Wives Who Love To Brunch And

Pray Sponsors

Copyright © 2019 by Optimal Living Magazine

4

Subscribe to Optimal Living Magazine: www.optimal-livingmagazine.com

Publisher’s Perspective

THE ENEMY OF

YOUR LIFE IS

AFTER YOUR TIME

The enemy of your life is after your time. You can learn

from an experience, but you can never get back the

time you’ve spent agonizing or being distracted by a

negative experience. For this reason, you should never

take an opportunity out of desperation, impatience,

lack or fear. As the seasons of your life change, discern

every door opened to you, because the days are evil.

Wrong turns can set you back weeks, months, years

or even worse. Your precious eyes are not meant to

see everything. Some experiences are sent to set you

back and take the life from your soul. The bible says,

“The steps of a good man or woman are ordered by the

Lord.” So, be anxious for nothing.

God has you in the palm of His hand. And, no matter

what life looks like, always remember, you are the apple

of His eyes. His angels harken to every Word of God

spoken from your lips. So, wait, pray, listen, speak His

Word over your situations and watch the salvation of

the Lord. God’s ordered door will open in His time. Grow

in patience, listen to wisdom & be encouraged for God’s

best. I hope to see you at our next event

@ wifey101prayerbrunch.eventbrite.com.

Yours in Christ,

T.R. Hopson Shaw

Walk in His Peace!

Follow Me on @Olmagazine

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Purpose Driven

Living Tips

What To Do When You

Realize Mental Illness

is at Play in Your Life..

Wendye Savage

Mental Illness has been referred to as a

spirit or a demon that can be prayed

away; when in reality it is an illness,

like any other illness of the body, and

requires medication from a doctor.

Would you try to pray away diabetes,

or would you become proactive by

taking insulin or changing your diet?

There are many people who suffer

silently because they don’t want to be

stigmatized and labeled by society as

crazy, when nothing could be further

from the truth.

As for me, the year 1993 WAS an eye opener.

I returned home to my mother, fleeing a

mentally abusive and neglectful husband.

Shortly after my marriage, he began to isolate

me from my family by playing on strained

relationships and criticizing my family as a whole.

He would move me into impoverished areas and

then criticize the friendships I attempted to create.

One year, I attempted to get a driver’s license.

However, once I got my permit, he gave the car to

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his father, who he said needed a way to get

to work. So, there I was in the house with

four small step stair children and pregnant

with a fifth. I had no family nearby,

friends, telephone or a washing machine.

He referred to me as his “ugly wife” and

criticized everything that I did. He did the

grocery shopping, handled the money and

gave me no allowance.

I was depressed for most of my

marriage, as anybody would be given the

circumstances. I had no support group,

couldn’t see myself, but got a book on

depression to try to figure out why I was so

sad.

Making a decision to get professional help

was one of the best things I’ve ever done for

myself.

I eventually grew tired and returned to my

mother for a vacation after my fifth child

was born. I slipped into a dark place that I

couldn’t shake off. It was an overwhelming

sadness and I felt isolated from those

around me. It was scary because I didn’t

know what was going on. I stopped

interacting with my five small children. I sat

in my room in a stupor hoping someone

would notice and help me.

My family became convinced that someone

had put root (a form of witchcraft) on me

and took me to see a root doctor. I was

given some bath salts to bathe in, but

needless to say, they didn’t work.

I began drinking Budweiser to self-medicate

myself in the morning, to start and get

through my day.

Things just seemed to get progressively

worse. I began thinking the television

was talking directly to me. I thought I had

powers to read other people’s thoughts and

that they could read mine.

I lived in a rural area where the mailbox is

across the street from my house. I became

afraid to cross the street because I feared

walking out in front of oncoming traffic on

purpose.

A voice inside of me said,” Something isn’t

right.” So, I made an appointment at the

nearest mental health agency, was quickly

seen and hospitalized for being suicidal. I

was diagnosed with Major Depression and

Schizophrenia. After my diagnosis, I was

sent home with medication.

But God! God delivered me through my

writing in 2010 and I’ve been off the

medication for Major Depression.

Mental Illness is real. Getting help, taking

my medication and being proactive is one

of the best things I’ve ever done! If you are

experiencing anything close to what I have

described, I pray you will seek counsel and

find your way back to peace, purpose and

wholeness.

Wendye Savage is a trained presenter for

The National Alliance on Mental Health

and has shared her story in various radio,

magazines and television shows in hopes

to reduce the stigma of mental illness. She

is the author of two inspiring collections

of poetry, entitled, “ One Sweet Day” and

“After the Rain”. Her latest book, entitled,“

What’s in Your Purse?” ( A Guide for

Women’s Wellness) can be purchased on

Amazon.com.


Janita Colbert and

José Portorreal

Guess

Who’s

Getting

Married?

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How did you and your

husband to be meet?

We met at a mutual friend’s BBQ. We started

dating the following day and never stopped.

How did you overcome

challenges in your

relationship?

We definitely have challenges! And these

are the ways we consistently overcome

them:

• Keeping God first, praying together,

communicating, communicating and

communicating some more.

• Knowing when to let things go.

• Always being willing to compromise

and adapt to the change that needs

to happen for the strength of our

relationship.

• Always leading with love, and having a

heart of forgiveness.

What are your favorite

things to do together?

We love exploring new things together from

a new neighborhood in our own city, or

traveling abroad. We love spending time

outdoors in nature, working out, eating

at new places. We enjoy hanging out with

friends and spending quality time with his

family in Miami and my family in Virginia.

What are your career

paths?

I’m a Digital Marketer and he’s a Senior

Engineer.

How do you keep Christ

first in your lives?

Always seeking God for EVERYTHING. Not

just big things or things you can’t figure out

on your own. But small things in life too, like

guidance to make sure we’re doing things

right. We seek to keep the faith; individually

and as a couple. Bringing Him into every

conversation, talking about his love and

grace openly.

Where is your church

home?

Mt. Sinai Baptist Church, Washington, DC.

Where and when do you

plan to marry?

Washington, DC, Fall 2019.


How I Met & Married

My Man Of God

MINISTER PATRICIA F. WRIGHT,

FIRST LADY OF UNION CHAPEL CHURCH

Since I was a child, I always wanted to be married. And, with all

my heart, I wanted to be a good wife. I thought if you could

cook, clean, iron and sew that these things would make you

a good wife. So, I learned how to do all those things. However, as I

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grew up spiritually in God, I learned that

those things are not the key ingredient.

I discovered that understanding and

applying godly principles, would set me up

for greatness as a wife.

I encourage any woman waiting to meet her

husband to not dwell so much on meeting

the man, but to be prepared for that special

encounter. Allow God to love on you, to

mold and shape you. Allow God to remove

those things that would hinder you from

becoming the helpmate needed. This is a

process and it takes time. In my season of

waiting, I knew that God loved me, but did

not realize how much until I began to allow

God to prepare me in my own life. God

began to speak to me about being whole

and losing emotional baggage. I sought out

Christian counseling because I needed to

deal with my inner pain, insecurities and

brokenness.

In my waiting season, my christian

counseling sessions peeled back years

of baggage and produced a woman of

impeccable character. God spoke to me

in ways I never imagined possible. God

showed me who He desired for me to be in

order to walk beside the Man of God that he

had chosen for me.

When I met my husband, I was maturing

in God but there was still a deeper hunger

for more. My husband helped me grow. His

knowledge of God’s Word and his heart for

the things of God challenged me to stretch.

I enjoyed sitting under his teaching and

there is no change today. He is awesome!

Many years ago, we began to develop a

friendship and as time progressed, we

became best friends. I loved his heart

towards God, and his desire to please God

in every area of his life. Over time, I realized

that our core values were the same. This

is the glue that holds us together during

challenging times. My heart grew from a

friendship to a partnership, as did his. My

husband did not propose to me, we just

knew that we were God ordained.

In 2004, I married my best friend Pastor

Samuel M. Wright Jr, of Union Chapel

Church, Union NJ. We have a blended

family of 5 children and 6 grandchildren

whom we love dearly.

Together, we allowed the Lord to use us

to write our first book “Shoes For The

Shoemaker.” This book is the vision my

husband received from the Lord to assist

Clergy and other servant leaders.

I am blessed to be called to walk beside my

husband as he pastors our congregation

to fulfill the mandate of God to save souls

and to be agents of change in the lives of

His People. I am a licensed Missionary and

a licensed Minister since 2006. I serve as

an adult Sunday school teacher, Women’s

ministry facilitator, Children’s church

coordinator and am an active prayer

Intercessor.


The Commitment Factor:

4 Ways To Keep Your Marriage

Strong for the Long Haul

DeLonda Adams

Happy, happy, happy, happy! This word is

going around more and more these days.

Everyone wants to be happy and have a

happy marriage. There have been books

written around this and it has demanded a

great following among women who want to

be happy.

Let’s deal with reality. If your goal is to be

happy in marriage, you are in for a trick

and not a treat. Happy is a feeling based on

what is going on in your life or a situation.

You should never live based off of feelings

because when things don’t go right, then

those feelings and emotions go bouncing

off the wall again.

What happens when you are not happy

with your husband? What happens when

your husband is not happy with you?

What happens when you don’t feel like you

are so in love with your husband today?

What happens when he says or does

something that hurt you?

I am here to tell you that happy will not

cut it. Commitment is becoming taboo

in marriage. So many men and women

are leaving their marriages left and right

because they are not “happy”. This is

nonsense. We have all heard it said that it

is easier to leave than to stay. Well that is

so true.

What then should we have if we can’t be

happy? We should have the joy of the

Lord. You see, when the joy of the Lord is

our strength, then when we have those

down times in our marriage, we will not be

so quick to rely on our feelings and react

prematurely. I will not allow the times when

I don’t feel like I love my husband to tell me

that we need to separate because love is

not in the air.

Commitment, to me, is simple: keeping my

marriage together, even when it looks real

good and even if it looks real bad.

How can your marriage be kept together for

the long haul? Here are some practical ways

to keep your union together:

Change your expectations – We all have

high expectations when we enter marriage.

However, when those expectations do not

meet reality, you will be disappointed time

and time again. Learn to expect God to do

the unexpected in your marriage.

Laugh and play – You don’t have to be a

sour bunny all the time. Learn to laugh in

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your marriage. Play with your husband

and be goofy with him. It’s great to be

with someone you not only handle adult

stuff with, but someone you can have

fun with too.

Be honest – You have to have

communication in your marriage to

keep it together. We, as women are

always looking for our husbands to

know how we are feeling and we

want to be mad when they don’t get

us. NEWS FLASH! THEY DON’T! Tell

him how you feel when he hurts you

and even when he does something

to make you smile.

Pray – Remember you are not the

Holy Spirit. You are his wife. Learn

the difference. The more you go

to the Lord about issues, the

more He will minister to you.

Mrs. Delonda Adams resides

in Colorado with her

husband and 2 children.

DeLonda encourages,

exhorts, and assists women

to keep moving forward

towards their destiny,

stand in their faith, and

keep order when chaos

disrupts. For more

information, visit:

www.wrigg.org.


Career & Leadership Insight

WHY CAN’T WE ALL

JUST GET ALONG?

By Rhonda York & Marla Emery

Do you remember the method in

which you would choose your

classmates that you wanted to

be on your team during recess when

you were in grade school? If you could

think back that far, most of the times you

chose your friends that were most like

you. Even then, you found yourself pitted

against your own teammates because

they did not meet our expectations

(maybe they struck out or missed a

goal shot) or, just because they wore

something strange to school that day.

Unfortunately, in the work environment,

things aren’t that easy. We don’t have the

advantage of choosing our teammates. They

come to us by way of different backgrounds,

experiences, personalities, and cultural

influences. Often, those differences result in

many challenges and frustrations that

can lead to workplace silos, strong

disagreements, and relentless conflict; all

which will adversely affect the bottom line.

In order for teams to be successful, we have

learned that they must shift from an I-centric

to a WE-centric work culture. In an I-centric

workplace, members live by the mantra

WIIFM (What’s in it for me?). WE-centric work

cultures are inclusive, welcome different

points of view, and embrace conflict as a

means to getting everyone on the same page

and moving forward.

Getting along with everyone all the time

may be a lofty and unrealistic goal. But it is

very possible to foster a work culture that

promotes collaboration and convergence

over competition and divergence. Here are a

few tips to get you started:

1. Accept that others will not always do

it your way. There are many paths one

can take to achieve the same outcome.

Be open and receptive to listening and

learning other ways to achieve the

same results. This will also empower

team members, increase creativity and

innovation within your group.

2. Learn about and leverage the gifts/talents

that each person brings to the team.

When people leverage their strengths

and talents they are more productive,

satisfied, and engaged.

3. Operate from a foundation of trust. Steps

must be taken to develop and ensure

trust by encouraging vulnerability and

allowing mistakes. When trust is present,

people are free to explore different

ideas, be more innovative, and engage

in meaningful conflict without fear of

consequences.

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4. Communicate openly and with honesty

and good intentions. When we act and

respond to people and situations based

on what we think the other person is

thinking, we create stories that may not

be true. Until we have open and honest

conversations and get all the facts,

we don’t really know what others are

thinking or doing – and we may be very

wrong in our assumptions.

5. Agree to disagree. Let go of having to be

right all of the time. If a team is operating

from a WE-centric thought process, they

will be making decisions and working

towards what is best for the team and not

always owning the winning idea.

For more insight about WE-centric

thinking, we recommend reading Creating

WE and 42 Rules for Creating WE by Judith

E. Glaser. Rhonda York is a Leadership

and Talent Development coach. She is

managing partner of TeamWide Solutions,

Inc located in Charlotte, NC. They provide

a variety of assessments, team building

events, executive coaching and career

transition assistance. Rhonda has been

coaching for over 15 years to a diverse

clientele. She coaches her clients to

stretch out of their comfort zones and seek

innovative ways to accomplish their goals.


LIFE & STYLE

8 WAYS TO BRING YOUR

LIVING ROOM SPACE BACK

TO LIFE FOR THIS SEASON!

1. Use seasonal colors.

Do not go overboard. It’s always nice to stay natural and add a pop of color. This simple black,

white and gray color pallet comes to life with a nice toned down yellow that ties into the season.

16


2. Wreaths and silk flowers are

a must.

This will help your home feel more inviting

during open houses. Space them out so it’s

not overwhelming. Less is more.

3. Add Throw Pillows to your

space.

Throw pillows will take a dull space and

make it look like a complete makeover.

Adding in colorful pillows allows you to

change the space easily.

4. Refurbish old furniture

pieces.

Don’t break the bank. Instead of buying new

coffee tables refurbish your old ones. This

can be done for under $25.

personalize your space. My suggestion is to

opt for books, or signs that remind buyers or

people visiting your home of the season. Be

sure to space them out.

8. Turn on the lights.

Since winter are full of cloudy, rainy and

snowy days; be sure to turn on all the lights

when guests visit your home. You want to

brighten up the space as much as possible.

Find your style.

Find what works for you. It could be plaid,

floral or tribal prints. Prints are hot this

season. Just remember don’t overdo it. Add

enough print to tie spaces throughout your

home together.

5. Candles, candles, candles.

Lighting candles is a good way to bring

warmth to an open space. Stick with clean

scents such as linen, or lavender to your

guests feel calm, as they check out your

home.

6. Window treatments are

overrated.

Natural light is the best thing you can do to

make your home feel bigger. Adding window

treatments is a great idea but go for drapes

that do not cover the windows but decorate

around the windows.

7. Accessories and spacing.

Adding accessories such as throw blankets,

books, or seasonal décor are all great ways to


CANDACE THORNLEY’S SWEET

CHICKEN BACON WRAPS

Great Party Appetizers - Always a Hit!

Directions

Ingredients & Tools

● 1 1/4 pounds boneless, skinless,

chicken breasts (about 4 breasts) 1

● (1-pound) package sliced turkey bacon

● 2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar

● 2 tablespoons chili powder

● 1 tablespoon onion powder

● Tooth picks

● Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Cut chicken breasts into 1 1/2-inch cubes. Cut

each bacon slice into halves. Place bacon on

a baking pan for 10-15 minutes until cooked

half way before wrapping the chicken. Wrap

each chicken cube with bacon and secure

with a wooden pick. Stir together brown

sugar and chili powder. Dredge wrapped

chicken in mixture. Coat the oven rack and

broiler pan with nonstick cooking spray.

Place chicken wrap on rack in broiler pan.

Bake @350 degrees for 30 - 35 minutes, or

until bacon is crisp and chicken is cooked

through.

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MAPLE-GLAZED YAMS WITH

PECAN TOPPING RECIPE

Ingredients

METHOD

●

●

●

●

●

●

●

3 lbs of yams

(red-skinned sweet

potatoes), peeled,

cut into 1/4 inch

rounds

1/2 cup maple syrup

Salt

1 teaspoon orange

zest (optional)

6 Tbsp chilled

butter, cut into 1/2

inch pieces

1/3 cup brown

sugar, packed

1 1/2 cups pecans

1 Preheat the oven to 400°F. Heat a large pot of salted water (add

a tablespoon of salt for every two quarts of water) until boiling.

Add the yam rounds. Cook the yams until the water starts to

simmer again, about 4 minutes. Remove from heat, drain, then

rinse in cold water.

2 Butter a baking dish. Arrange the yam rounds in the baking

dish, overlapping the pieces, layering the yam rounds to fill up

the dish. Sprinkle each layer liberally with salt. Sprinkle the yam

rounds with orange zest if using. Pour maple syrup over yams.

Dot with 2 Tbsp of the butter. Cover with aluminum foil and

bake until yams are almost tender, about 20 minutes.

3 Put 3/4 cup pecans in a blender or spice grinder and grind into a

coarse meal. Coarsely chop the other 3/4 cup of pecans.

4 Mix the ground pecans and brown sugar together in a medium bowl.

Using your fingers, mix in the remaining 4 Tbsp of butter, until the

mixture resembles a coarse meal. Mix in the chopped pecans.

5 Sprinkle the pecan mixture over the yams. Bake the yams,

uncovered, until the topping browns, about 15 minutes


OPTIMAL LIVING

CONFESSION OF FAITH

I

am anointed in Christ

and a powerful person

of God.

I am a joint-heir

with Jesus and more than a

conqueror.

I am a doer of the Word

of God and a channel for His

blessings. If God be for me,

who can be against me?

I am blessed coming in and

I am blessed going out.

As I speak this confession,

my enemies are fleeing

before me Right Now! God

has commanded His blessing

on my storehouses. He has

opened His Good treasures

and I shall lend and not

borrow. I am the head and

not the tail.

He has given me power to

make wealth.

I dwell in the secret place

of the Most High. I have His

protection and provision.

God is my refuge, my

fortress I am not afraid of the

snare of the fowler.

Make no mistake, no Evil

shall befall me and no plague

shall come near My dwelling.

God has given his angels

charge over me and they are

bearing me up in their hands,

lest I dash my foot against a

stone, as declared in Psalms

91. I Peter 2:9 establishes I am

a chosen generation, A royal

priesthood, a holy nation.I

am a peculiar person called

out of darkness Into His

marvelous light. I Peter 2:24

states, “ I have been healed

by the stripes of Jesus.”

*Cancer, sugar diabetes,

heart disease, sickness,

afflictions, infections,

mental illness, or any other

disease can not enter my

body. I am without spot or

blemish, a prayer warrior, the

righteousness of God, saved,

and washed in the Blood of

Jesus.*

“No weapon formed against

me shall prosper, and every

tongue which rises against

me in judgment You shall

condemn.” Father God, I pray

that those who read this

confession choose abundant

life, peace within their hearts,

wisdom driven faith strategies

for the days ahead and

prosperity in their houses

according to Psalms 122:6-9.

May these words add a

special blessing to your life

today. Keep walking, talking,

exercising and eating right

by faith. Stay connected

with us @ www.optimallivingmagazine.com

20


WIVES WHO LOVE TO BRUNCH

AND PRAY SPONSORS

Razac Products Company

25 Brenner St

Newark, New Jersey 07108

Web: www.razacproducts.com

Maddie and Liz Jewelry

Owner Malikita Blakey

Email: maddieandliz@gmail.com

Favor Tee Line & Accessories

1607 Springfield Ave.

Maplewood, NJ 07040

P: 973.327.9661

Web: https://favorteeline.com

Leran and Lerusha Boutique

Email: l eranandlerushaboutique@gmail.com

Union Chapel Church

1424 Gustav Ave, Union, NJ 07083

Web: www.unionchapelchurch.net

Wedding Veils Etc.

www.weddingveilsetc.com

Janice McMillian

Author

Motivational Speaker & Talk Show Hostess

https://www.janicemcmillian.com/books

Modere Inc.

Karen Murdoch

www.modere.com/7174745

403-797-4040

Email: Karmur11@yahoo.ca


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