Warren Tales 2019-2020 Wholesale Catalog

I’m no cacti
without cactus
ou’re the best
period.
Handmade by Humans in California, USA • www.warrentales.com
Wholesale Catalog
2019-2020
connect
toddlers
are assholes
and you’re
a great parent
hang in there
Here’s to you getting older—
for being brighter, bigger, and bolder.
You shoot for the stars
and show off your scars,
and live life with a confident smolder.
happy
birthday
O
Othe dots
36
Handmade by Humans in California, USA
Lindsey Yuriko Warriner
Peddler of Puns • Telephone: 619.865.0671
lindsey@warrentales.com • www.warrentales.com
51
48
49
1
50
52
53
2
4
46
47
25
17
26
11
16
34
24
18
10
15 23
38
12
13
27
14
5
30 31 33
39
42
9 19
8
22 28 32
6
20 40 41
7
21
29
57 61 66 67
74 83
84 88 93 94
65
75
60
68
82
87
95
56
62
76
69
81
89 92
96
59
86
55
64
70
91 97
77
80
54
100
58 63 71 73 78
79 85 90 98 99
72
3
44
35
43
45
37

Hello! I'm the human behind Warren Tales. I have a degree
in Poetry that I actually use every day, and I grew up in
London, which is why our cards are so darn witty. Next time
you read one, just imagine a sexy British accent laughing too
hard at her own jokes, and it'll be like you're there with me.
Warren Tales has been peddling puns since 2013, and
with 7 Louie Award nominations (and counting), we're the
Leonardo DiCaprio of the greeting card world. In every way,
this job is an absolute dream: I make funny cards, work with
incredible people, and travel the world being a huge nerd.
As Leo himself once said, "If you can do what you do best and
be happy, you're further along in life than most people."
Thank you for your laughter and support!
#givewarrentalesalouie
Lindsey Yuriko Warriner
Peddler of Puns • Telephone: 619.865.0671
lindsey@warrentales.com • www.warrentales.com
Our Product
Warren Tales delivers witty and playful greeting cards, because
with great friends, every day is an occasion! From sarcastic
to sweet, these are cards they'll want to keep.
Cards are blank inside and measure
5 1/2” x 4 1/4” (unless otherwise noted).
Items are packaged in clear recyclable sleeves.
Terms
$100 minimum opening order
No minimum on subsequent re-orders
Single Greeting Cards - Quantities of 6
All Sets & Other Products - Quantities of 4
1-week standard fulfillment on orders of fewer than 200 items
1 to 3-week standard fulfillment on orders of over 200 items
Digital Catalog
Easily search our online catalog at www.warrentales.com
using the Find feature ( ) to locate keywords and SKUs.
Shipping
Pre-set rates are set based on order amount.
For more details, please review our order form.

Happy
irthday
connect
O
Connect Bday
GC-1061 $2.50
Othe dots
best
seller
best
seller
best
seller
Happy Bidet GC-1092 $2.50
9pm Birthday
GC-1161 $2.50
Ovary Happy Birthday
GC-1140 $2.50
new
Inspired by Star Trek
Balls Birthday
GC-1236 $2.50
Prosperous Birthday
GC-1129 $2.50
Limerick Wish GC-1088 $2.50
2
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671

new
new
Never Forget Birthday
GC-1160 $2.50
best
seller
Good Time Birthday
GC-1174 $2.50
new
Yet To Come GC-1228 $2.50
new
Limerick Stars GC-1087 $2.50
You Do You Birthday
GC-1189 $2.50
Introvert Party
GC-1175 $2.50
best
seller
Home Slice
Awkward Birthday
GC-1148 $2.50 GC-1162 $2.50
Happy Bee-Day GC-1134 $2.50
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4
3

Thanks
A Lot
connect
O
Connect Thanks
GC-1011 $2.50
Othe dots
best
seller
best
seller
new
Grateful GC-1073 $2.50
Thanks For Everything
GC-1190 $2.50
Thank Uterus
GC-1139 $2.50
new
new
Virtual Pet
GC-1192 $2.50
Thanks Move
GC-1099 $2.50
Limerick Getaway GC-1123 $2.50
4
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4

new
body
positive
designs
Functional Adult
GC-1239 $2.50
new
Couch Crash
GC-1191 $2.50
Best Period GC-1141 $2.50
2-4-6-8
Thanks Languages
GC-1149 $2.50 GC-1131 $2.50
Limerick Support GC-1125 $2.50
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671 5

oliday
Cheer
connect
O
Connect Holidays
GC-1062 $2.50
Othe dots
best
seller
new
Limerick Jolly GC-1124 $2.50
Labia Menorah
GC-1229 $2.50
Non-Denominational
GC-1136 $2.50
best
seller
new
new
Jewish Xmas
GC-1118 $2.50
Hanukkah Holidays
GC-1158 $2.50
Family Holidays
GC-1183 $2.50
You Do You Holidays
GC-1184 $2.50
6
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671

new
new
new
new
Jesus In August
GC-1185 $2.50
XXX-mas
GC-1186 $2.50
Gay Apparel
GC-1235 $2.50
Baby It's Cold
GC-1196 $2.50
new
Limerick Toast GC-1145 $2.50
Season's Bleedings
GC-1144 $2.50
Merry Clitmas
GC-1230 $2.50
new
new
NO-L
GC-1167 $2.50
Let It Snow
GC-1159 $2.50
Dog Holidays
GC-1188 $2.50
Cat Holidays
GC-1187 $2.50
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4 7

Love&
Friends
connect
O
Connect Love
GC-1009 $2.50
Othe dots
best
seller
best
seller
best
seller
Inflatulated GC-1084 $2.50
Cactus Love
GC-1130 $2.50
Light Up My Life
GC-1085 $2.50
Cards measure 3 1/2” x 4 7/8”
Interactive
Besties
GC-1164 $2.50
Love Forever GC-1137 $2.50
Haikutie GC-1045 $2.50
8
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4

Letterpress
Cards measure 3 1/2” x 4 7/8”
Girlfriend Love
GC-1006 $2.50
Wife Love
GC-1004 $2.50
Boyfriend Love
GC-1005 $2.50
Husband Love
GC-1007 $2.50

new
new
new
Best Marriage
GC-1171 $2.50
Perfect Fit
GC-1232 $2.50
Clitorally The Best GC-1227 $2.50
best
seller
Best Period GC-1141 $2.50
Go Away Times
GC-1170 $2.50
Let’s Bone
GC-1060 $2.50
new
Rainbow foil
Partners In Crime
GC-1065 $2.50
Mensch
GC-1180 $2.50
Roses GC-1078 $2.50
10
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671

Connect Hey Sexy GC-1114 $2.50
connect
Connect Nice Butt GC-1113 $2.50
O
Othe dots
Connect Holy Shit GC-1112 $2.50
Connect Fuck Yeah GC-1111 $2.50

elebrate
& Party
connect
O
Connect Great
GC-1063 $2.50
Othe dots
new
new
Retired Life GC-1197 $2.50
Retiring Projects
GC-1198 $2.50
new
Missed Period
GC-1237 $2.50
new
new
Moving Up
GC-1241 $2.50
Dog House
GC-1240 $2.50
Apt Sweet Apt GC-1034 $2.50
12
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4

new
new
new
new
Officially Maried
GC-1199 $2.50
Swiped Right
GC-1200 $2.50
You're Engaged
GC-1176 $2.50
So Excited
GC-1233 $2.50
Proud Of You
GC-1163 $2.50
Til Death Señors
GC-1075 $2.50
Til Death Señoras
GC-1076 $2.50
Til Death
GC-1074 $2.50
Text Reads:
Well Done, Whippersnapper!
Keep It Up
GC-1117 $2.50
Three Cheers
GC-1047 $2.50
Whippersnapper
GC-1127 $2.50
Rock It
GC-1154 $2.50
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671 13

Baby
Crazy
new
new
best
seller
Double Fisting
GC-1177 $2.50
new
Ejaculations
GC-1231 $2.50
You're Pregnant GC-1128 $2.50
Virtual Baby
GC-1193 $2.50
Happy Labor Day
GC-1143 $2.50
new
new
best
seller
Pregnant Punch
GC-1178 $2.50
Growing A Human
GC-1179 $2.50
You Did It GC-1080 $2.50
14
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671

Asshole Teenagers
GC-1153 $2.50
Asshole Toddlers
GC-1152 $2.50
Gender Reveal
Singles & Sets
interactive
congratulations
baby showers
s
gender reveal
i t’ s a g i r l
Connect Girl
GC-1094
$2.50 single $8.00 set (8)
birth announcements
connect
O
Othe dots
Connect Boy
GC-1095
$2.50 single $8.00 set (8)
gender reveal
i t’ s a b o ys
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4 15

Family
Fun
connect
O
Connect Mom
GC-1096 $2.50
Othe dots
new
new
new
Limerick Tough GC-1147 $2.50
Sketch Bubbie
GC-1202 $2.50
Sketch Mama
GC-1213 $2.50
new
new
THX Mother
GC-1151 $2.50
Mother Crap
GC-1194 $2.50
We're So In Sync GC-1142 $2.50
16
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4

best
seller
best
seller
new
new
Asshole Toddlers
GC-1152 $2.50
Asshole Teenagers
GC-1153 $2.50
Asshole Adults
GC-1173 $2.50
Asshole Kids
GC-1172 $2.50
new
new
new
Limerick Lucky GC-1146 $2.50
Father Crap
GC-1195 $2.50
THX Father
GC-1150 $2.50
new
new
connect
O
Othe dots
Sketch Zayde
GC-1226 $2.50
Sketch Papa
GC-1216 $2.50
Connect Dad
GC-1097 $2.50
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671 17

hinking
of You
connect
O
Connect Miss
GC-1010 $2.50
Othe dots
Greeting Card &
Detachable Postcard
Interactive
Phone Hello
GC-1102 $2.50
new
Jerk
Bloody Hell
GC-1059 $2.50 GC-1238 $2.50
Reads: Adulthood is overrated
connect
O
Othe dots
Sketch Oy Vey
GC-1215 $2.50
Adulthood
GC-1101 $2.50
Connect Hello
GC-1008 $2.50
18
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671

new
new
Reads: Other than that,
Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Beautiful Person
GC-1181 $2.50
Divorce Sucks
GC-1182 $2.50
Mrs Lincoln GC-1019 $2.50
gold foil
new
I'm FINE GC-1001 $2.50
Reads: Fucked Up • Insecure • Neurotic • Emotional
You Are Enough
GC-1165 $2.50
Being Testy
GC-1234 $2.50
Sorry Pup
GC-1168 $2.50
Lo Siento
GC-1016 $2.50
Urinal My Thoughts GC-1072 $2.50
single cards - quantities of 6 • all sets and other products - quantities of 4 19

onnect
the Dots
connect
O
Connect State
GC-1157 $2.50
Othe dots
your
state
your
city
Custom State, City & Town
Cards Now Available!
connect
O
Othe dots
Connect 100 Dots on Each Card
Connect City
GC-1156 $2.50
Custom Cards That Represent
You and Your Neighborhood
Connecting Small Towns
to Big Cities & Beyond
your
town
Easy instructions included on cards & packaging.
Connect the Dots orders come with free display copies.
6 card opening minimum on pre-designed cards.
24 card opening minimum on new design requests.
For additional order details, and a current list of featured
State, City & Town designs, visit www.warrentales.com.
connect
O
Connect Town
GC-1155 $2.50
Othe dots
20
to place an order, please email lindsey@warrentales.com or say hello by phone at 619.865.0671

#civilrightnow
postcards & posters
proceeds from the sale of these products are donated to non-profit organizations
committed to the empowerment and equal protection of black, indigenous, immigrant, muslim,
lgbtqia, disabled, poor, women, and all people of color. for donation details visit www.warrentales.com.
fund
raiser
postcards are printed on thick paper &
packaged in sets of 10 with instructions
You have a voice!
use these products to
Write to your representatives
Share with your community
Show your support
Practice kindness
#readytomarch
posters are printed on extra thick paper &
packaged flat with non-profit support info
CivilRightNow Refuge
AP-1120 PC-1120
$6.00 single $5.00 set (10)
11x17” Poster 5x7” Postcards
CivilRightNow Progress
AP-1122 PC-1122
$6.00 single $5.00 set (10)
11x17” Poster 5x7” Postcards
CivilRightNow Fortify
AP-1121 PC-1121
$6.00 single $5.00 set (10)
11x17” Poster 5x7” Postcards
CivilRightNow Empathy
AP-1119 PC-1119
$6.00 single $5.00 set (10)
11x17” Poster 5x7” Postcards

happy anniversary!
ain’t no party
like an
introvert party
‘ ause an
introvert party
don’t start
Warren Tales delivers witty and playful
greeting cards, because with great friends,
every day is an occasion! From sarcastic to
sweet, these are cards they'll want to keep.
happy birthday!
you are
clitorally
the best
y
marriage
is the best time
i’ve ever had
while being
onstantly
annoyed
with someone
you are so
ready for
this baby
12-25
admit one
movie
ticket
12-25
12-25
admit one
movie
ticket
12-25
Happy
Jewish
Xmas
Inflatulated
in.fla.tu.la.ted /inʹflaCH ͵lātid/ adjective
To be so in love with someone and comfortable
with the everyday pleasures of being together
that you happily fart without shame or hesitation
in their presence.
I am positively inflatulated with you
e
Grateful
ejaculations!
you made a baby