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JHB West - July 2020

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Mindful<br />

kids<br />

Meltdowns, temper tantrums or hissy fits … Sounds familiar? Well, what if you can<br />

avoid it in the first place by teaching your kids to be mindful?<br />

Compiled by: RIALIEN FURSTENBERG<br />

Pure Health Centre’s Dr Bianca De Canha and mom of<br />

two boys shares her 5 tips:<br />

1. Even parents make mistakes and children can learn<br />

from this<br />

In a world where the emphasis is placed on perfection<br />

and ‘getting it right’ it’s important for children to be aware<br />

of the fact that even parents make mistakes. Whether it<br />

is a recent one or a time in your life that you can reflect<br />

on where a mistake was made and a lesson learnt, this is<br />

a wonderful opportunity to teach children that we learn<br />

from these mistakes. It’s important to share these mistakes<br />

with your children, explain how you navigated the problem<br />

and ultimately how a resolution came about. Most<br />

importantly, share with them what you learned as a<br />

result and how you carry that lesson with you through<br />

your life today.<br />

2. Feelings are there to be felt and shared<br />

No one feels as intensely, as suddenly and as fully as a<br />

child. Children experience emotions fully and as they grow<br />

and learn, are then taught to control these emotions. I<br />

have, on many occasions wondered whether this learned<br />

control is a good or a bad thing. Feelings are meant to be<br />

felt. When we teach children that certain emotions are bad,<br />

‘boys don’t cry’, being angry is bad etc. we warp their perception<br />

of how one should or should not experience these<br />

emotions. It’s important to remember that they are neither<br />

good nor bad, and rather that they form part of the human<br />

experience. As a parent, I have found much value in sharing<br />

my laughter, my happiness and my sadness with my<br />

children. In so doing they have seen me laugh, cry and fly<br />

off the handle. All these emotions have been made normal<br />

and neither one nor the other makes me a good or a bad<br />

person. It’s just how I feel at that moment in time before<br />

the next emotion takes over.<br />

3. Always keep your word – even if it’s inconvenient<br />

Nothing is more important, in my family legacy than the<br />

importance of keeping your word. And no one can find<br />

a more inopportune time to call you out on it than your<br />

child. I have shared wonderful moments of connection<br />

with my son when I kept my word with him and as a result,<br />

I could clearly see him grow to trust me. His reassurance<br />

that the next time would be no different has solidified his<br />

understanding of our verbal agreements. The tricky part<br />

comes when you are held to this at an inconvenient time.<br />

This is when it counts the most! At these times when you<br />

are overworked, pressed for time, about to sit down to<br />

your first meal of the day at 7pm, exhausted or in a crowd<br />

... keep your word! Teach them the meaning of trust, show<br />

[PAGENO] 24 Get It Joburg Get It Joburg <strong>West</strong> <strong>July</strong> <strong>West</strong> <strong>2020</strong> [MONTH] [YEAR]

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