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[DOWNLOAD] Effin' Birds: A Field Guide to Identification (Ebook pdf)

[DOWNLOAD] Effin' Birds: A Field Guide to Identification (Ebook pdf)
[DOWNLOAD] Effin'
Birds: A Field Guide
to Identification
(Ebook pdf)
Description
AARON REYNOLDS is a humourist, professional speaker, and the man behind the @EffinBirds
and @swear_trek Twitter accounts. When he's not on Twitter, you can find him producing a series
of podcasts and at ComicCons dressed as George Lucas. He has been a baseball writer, a fine art
printer, and a mall Santa Claus photographer. Aaron was raised in Mississauga, Canada, a suburb
where they cut down all the trees and named the streets after them. He currently splits his time
between Toronto and Ottawa. Read more Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights
reserved. IntroductionHave you ever listened to the melodic chirping of birds and wondered what
they were trying to communicate?Some of the worldâ€s most brilliant scientists have spent
decades studying birdsong to gain an understanding of birds: their society, their needs, their hopes
and dreams. Are birds gripped by the paralysing fear that theyâ€ll fail to provide for their
families? Do they aspire to meaningful careers? Are they frustrated at the pace of social progress
in the world? It turns out that these were the feelings of the scientists and not the birds at all.
Advances in machine learning over the past ten years have allowed for detailed scenario analysis
of birds and their songs, and multiple computer-driven studies* that compiled years†worth of
audio and video recordings came to an astonishing conclusion: most of the time, birds are just
saying, “F**k off.―Sometimes theyâ€re saying f**k off to predators. Sometimes to other
birds. In the studies, scientists found that the birds were disproportionately saying f**k off to the
scientists studying them, which led to some sober re-examination of their birdhandling
protocols.This astonishing breakthrough has led to re-evaluations of historic recordings, including
one analysis that showed US President Lyndon B. Johnsonâ€s pet lovebirds telling British Prime
Minister Harold Wilson to “f**k off and keep f**king off until your feet get wet― during a White
House visit, and another in which Challenger the Bald Eagle told Major League Baseball
Commissioner Bud Selig to “find a newer and more interesting way to f**k off― at the 1998
World Series. Most embarrassingly, computer analysis shows that the pigeons in the “Feed the
Birds― scene of Mary Poppins are actually saying, “Just give us the f**king bread before we
die of old age.―While it would prove impossible to create a definitive listing of every way birds say
f**k off, this book is an attempt to catalogue some of the most common, and to place them into
broader societal context, along with identifying bird behaviours and characteristics. And while very
few people will have access to the advanced computational power needed to understand birdsong
precisely, the hope is that the knowledge contained in this book will allow you to look directly into a

birdâ€s eyes and understand it when it tells you to f**k off with that s**t.* I made these