Happiful August 2020

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£57 £40 ENTER CODE: HAPPINATURE AT THE CHECKOUT Reader offer On an annual subscription using code HAPPINATURE at shop.happiful.com Includes postage and packaging (mainland UK). Prices and benefits are correct at the time of printing, using code HAPPINATURE, which expires on 17 September 2020. For full terms and conditions, please visit happiful.com
TRUE LIFE A crash wrecked my life – until I found my own way back A serious road accident left Tamara traumatised and in deep despair. It took her 10 years to finally discover a path that helped her to heal from the inside Writing | Tamara Selaman In 1999, at the age of 19, I was involved in a serious road accident that turned my life upside down, and created a series of life-changing events. I was thrown out of my car into a field. A section of my lower spine was crushed, but I was breathing. Two days later, I had a bone graft – titanium plates and screws inserted into my spine to help the bones fuse and re-grow. In the five years that followed, I went from survival to instinct, as I struggled with my physical limitations and excruciating pain. There were times when the medication wore off, and I couldn’t move. Some days, it would take me hours of self-treating to be able to leave the house and manage my daily tasks. I was a survivor on the outside, but inside I was in a space where I couldn’t function properly. Anxiety, depression, and panic attacks had now become a constant part of my existence, and I could feel myself slipping into the depths of despair. I was taking antidepressants and strong painkillers that caused side-effects, and I was totally misunderstood by those around me. My mental wellbeing was slowly deteriorating. The trauma and negative emotions were eating me up from the inside, and I had days where I felt as though I couldn’t go on anymore. I was desperate to move out of this space. I wasn’t offered any form of therapy, and was unaware that such help existed as it hadn’t formed part of my path prior to the car accident. I was about to discover a whole new world. The year 2004 saw lots of change. I requested the removal of the metal supports and stopped all my medication, even though I was in immense pain. That same year, I underwent more than seven major operations, which added to my long list of symptoms. I started to build a form of relationship with my father for the first time since I was eight, and was also sexually mistreated by an individual who I thought I could trust. Then I was declared bankrupt – by recommendation of the courts, due to the debt from the finance I had on the car involved in the car accident – and was left completely drained and traumatised physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. I had never felt so low in my life. I felt alone. My mental agony had now reached its pinnacle. Then one day, it dawned on me that it was up to me to reclaim my life and start living once again. I decided to replace my anger with compassion, to forgive myself, and to focus on the things that were in my control, and able to change – my health, my energy, my mindset! >>> August 2020 • happiful.com • 57
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Happiful August 2020

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