The Star: November 26, 2020

The Star Thursday November 26 2020
24
NEWS
Latest Canterbury news at starnews.co.nz
Couple’s surrogate appeal answered
• By Bethany Reitsma
IN THE most selfless of acts,
a Christchurch influencer has
helped a Wellington couple
become parents again – two
years after they were told they
couldn’t have any more children.
Influencer and mum-of-two
Rebecca Keil became a surrogate
for Tess Dunford and partner
Dan Stemp after seeing their plea
for a surrogate on Instagram.
Fast forward two years and
now Dunford and Stemp can
finally hold Keil’s precious gift in
their arms – a baby boy named
Ziggy Te Taonga Stemp.
But Dunford and Stemp’s journey
was far from easy after the
birth of their now two-year-old
daughter Indi caused Dunford
to require blood transfusions
and an emergency hysterectomy,
meaning she wouldn’t be able to
carry another baby.
After months of recovery,
Dunford and Stemp decided to
take to Instagram, searching for
a surrogate. The couple knew
that if possible, they wanted their
little family to expand by one
more.
Enter Rebecca Keil.
“I knew them a little bit
through their business (Don’t Be
a Doormat) and through work,
and I knew Tess would need a
surrogate,” said.
“Becoming a surrogate is
something I always thought I
wanted to do. I’d carried my
own two kids perfectly fine, and
I don’t mind giving birth – I
actually find it really cool!”
Her husband Jared was more
than supportive of the idea, saying
that he didn’t mind as long as
they weren’t keeping the baby.
In September last year, Dunford
and Stemp hit their Givealittle
fundraising goal of $15,000
for their surrogacy journey and
IVF treatments needed. Over
the next year, the couple and
Keil went through the process
of mandatory counselling and
passing an ethics committee.
In March 2020 Dunford went
through an embryo transfer and
Keil was later transferred the
fertilised egg. Keil says they were
PRECIOUS: Christchurch woman Rebecca Keil, became a surrogate and gave birth
to baby Ziggy to help Wellington couple Dan Stemp and Tess Dunford (below) with
daughter Indi, expand their little family.
PHOTOS: INSTAGRAM
“super fortunate” that transfers
worked on the first go.
The Covid-19 lockdown in
March added a hiccup, Keil
shared, noting that during her
first trimester New Zealand
in lockdown she felt “pretty
rubbish”. But tried to keep the
baby’s parents as connected as
possible.
The trio’s journey has been
documented on Instagram, with
several of Keil and Dunford’s
collective 45k followers labelling
baby Ziggy’s arrival, “the most
anticipated arrival of 2020”.
A mild case of pre-eclampsia
led to Keil being induced on
Friday, November 13. She went
into labour on a Saturday night
after having her waters broken
and seven hours later at 3.48am
on November 15, Ziggy was born
via water birth.
The ever candid Keil describes
the unfathomable experience
simply as “weird”. “It’s hard
when it’s not your kid – hard to
find that motivation.”
So it was Dunford who became
that motivation, hopping into
the birthing pool and being by
Keil’s and baby Ziggy’s side for
the emotional moment.
“Tess hopped in the pool with
me when Zig was born so she
could hold him straight away. It
was a really beautiful moment,
everyone in the room was crying,
but I was just like, ‘here’s
your kid’!” Keil laughs.
After the birth, everything
“turned to s***”, Keil said – she’d
lost a lot of blood, her blood
pressure dropped dramatically
and she needed several transfusions
in the following days.
Keil also required surgery to
repair a clot and internal tear
from the delivery, which meant
her uterus wasn’t contracting
back down as it would naturally.
The transfusions have also
meant that Keil will be unable to
pump and donate her milk as she
had planned.
By Wednesday morning
the ever-optimistic Keil was
recovering well and was hoping
to head home and finally be able
to see her own children.
“My kids have been amazing,
they’re five and six and I struggled
with that side of things,
with being away from them. But
we’re all pretty chill and we’ve
had incredible support. My husband
has been amazing.”
Keil hopes her surrogacy journey
will raise awareness about
fertility issues in New Zealand
and the different ways birth can
be possible.
“I’ve had people message me
saying they didn’t even think
you could be a surrogate in New
Zealand. I don’t think we actually
have surrogacy laws, we have
ancient adoption laws which
make the process a whole lot
harder.”
It’s these “archaic” laws that
meant Dunford and Stemp have
to legally adopt their biological
son from Keil and her husband
Jared – as they are married he is
legally assumed to be the birth
father.
Keil explains that while her
body has given birth to a baby, it
feels as if it’s Dunford who’s had
a child.
“Mentally there’s no grief there
at having to hand him over. I’ve
cried the past few mornings, but
that’s just the hormones.”
And she acknowledges that
giving her new friends a child
has been “incredible”.
“It has been such a positive
journey. I joke that I’m trying
to tick off all the different ways
of giving birth. But it has been
amazing.”
Dunford shared a snap of baby
Ziggy on Instagram along with a
tribute to his surrogate mum.
“I am in total awe and admiration
of this wahine toa who
carried, cared for, nurtured and
brought our baby into this world
in the most incredible way,” she
wrote.
“It was one of the most powerful
things I have ever experienced
and will never forget and
will always be indebted to her for
what she has done for us.”
– NZ Herald
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