Best of Bobisms

“This piece is supposed
to be joyful! Don’t
make it an ode to
depression.”
“Second choir,
you’re too slow!
Don’t be a
geriatric version
of the first choir!”
“Don’t look as though your medication is wearing off!”
“You sound like you’re
gargling with Drano!”
“Don’t ever be intimidated by altos!”

“When I tell you that
you're singing sharp—
try singing lower.”
“It’s got to sound
like sexy lingerie.
Tenors, it still
sounds like Fruit
of the Loom!”
“Use your ears, chorus. They are not just wax receptors.”
“God loves a
tritone as much as a
perfect sixth.”
“My ears are not colorblind.”

“I want a rich, creamy
sound, but not too thick.
Sopranos, more crème
fraîche; you’re sounding
like cool whip!”
“Tenors, sound
like Austrian
dance instructors,
lean and healthy,
not drinking beer
on the porch!”
“There are certain pronunciations you cannot make in German
without being struck by lightning!”
“You sound
like a bunch of greasy
squirrels!”
“You should glory in the
dissonance here!
It’s an ‘up yours’ moment.”

“Hell is Velveeta and
Wonderbread. Sound
more like Brie.”
“It’s ok for the
orchestra
to have bad
diction. They
have no
consonants.”
“Don’t sound like Ethel Merman on a bad day!”
“If you disagree
with me, you’re
probably wrong.”
“It’s not ok to be mediocre!”

“Learn that note. You
want to surprise the
audience, not yourself.”
“You should sound
like angels being
fitted for wings in
Heaven, not like
you’re being fitted
for asbestos boots in
Hell!”
“I have to be a conductor, not some rabid cheerleader!”
“It’s not immoral;
It’s just dissonance.”
“High pitches don’t kill brain cells, Sopranos!”

“Basset horns are like depressed clarinets.”
“Don't take
lunch on that
rest; maybe just a
short coffee
break.”
“As Mlle Boulanger would say,
'Mediocrity is the vomit of the Gods!'”
Upon the death of J. Reilly Lewis:
“Life is precious, let’s all
live it well.”

“As I noted at the last rehearsal, we live in a world right now that is
truly tormented and struggling to find its way. There seems to be
so much animosity and hatred, and our political rhetoric, back and
forth, is truly toxic. As artists, I think what we are doing is
incredibly important. We need to create beauty with a vengeance, as
never before! People need what we do, more than ever. I thank
God each day for the opportunity to give the world an escape from
all of this craziness. For all who hear us, we can create a vision of a
new world truly at peace and filled with love. Please join me in this
journey toward redemption.”
© 2021 The City Choir of Washington