Self Love BY ALYSE HADDAD, PAIGE JONNA, AND SAMANTHA MEKANI Caring for ourselves helps us care for others “If you are still looking for that ONE person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” With Valentine’s Day upon us, we can easily get swept away in the secularization of the holiday. However, Valentine’s Day originated as a holy day that celebrates Saint Valentine, a martyr in the third century who married Christian couples in secret against the will of the Roman Emperor. Eventually he was beheaded for his efforts. His story teaches us about what it means to love – a gift or a sacrifice of self to another, to God, or to one’s community. And while Valentine’s Day is traditionally an opportunity to show those around you how much you care for them, we think it can also be a time to work on loving ourselves a bit more. Selflove is key to good mental health and well-being, and it also helps us create healthier relationships with others. Let’s start with defining self-love. It does not mean feeding into our every whim or desire or overly inflating our own egos. Self-love is recognizing that by our mere existence, our lives have value, we have integrity, and we are worthy of respect. Self-love means allowing yourself to prioritize your own well-being. It’s acknowledging that every day we wake up, we are given a gift - an opportunity to grow physically, spiritually and emotionally. Self-love is something that requires practice, and by working daily on the tips set forth below, we can form a new sense of self-worth. Remember – you are enough, just as you are. Your worth is not determined by how much you’ve achieved or how much money you’ve earned, nor is it determined by your relationship status or whether you feel beautiful when you look in the mirror. You are enough just as you are. Trauma, symptoms of depression, symptoms of anxiety and other mental health issues can cause feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, and of just not being enough. Remember, if you are struggling with these feelings, it’s okay to ask for help. You are not alone and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are worth it. Mindfulness – Being mindful means focusing one’s awareness to the present moment, while calmly acknowledging one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. By reflecting on our thoughts and how they affect our actions, moods, and behaviors, we will begin to identify negative and illogical thought processes. It is very easy to get caught up in a cycle of unhealthy thought patterns, and the first step to breaking those patterns is awareness of them. Use your mood and bodily sensations as cues to become more aware of your thoughts. If you are feeling depressed, angry or anxious, pause a moment to become more aware of your thinking. Remain conscious of negative self-talk throughout the day and consider whether it is actually true or just an exaggeration and whether you would accept someone talking to a friend of yours in that way. Forgive yourself – Love is merciful and good. It’s important to take responsibility for our actions, but the bottom line is that we are imperfect beings, so there’s no preventing us from messing up from time to time. So long as you’ve learned from your mistake, feeling guilty about it serves no purpose. Make an effort to understand what you did wrong, how you can repair the situation, and how you could do better next time. You may need to start by admitting fault or apologizing to those you’ve hurt. Once you’ve done everything you can, it’s time to let go. Holding on to guilt can cause physical symptoms, such as anxiety, fatigue, and muscle tension. It also takes you away from the here and now. The only moment we truly have is the present, and it’s wasted when we spend it dwelling on the past. Set healthy boundaries. We talked earlier in this article about how love is sacrifice and gift of self. But you have to remember that if you are left drained by your relationships, you will have nothing left to give. The first step is acknowledging that it is okay to put yourself first. It is okay to say no. Also, acknowledge when you put yourself around people who respond to you in a place with less than love, people who are using you, or people who are demeaning you. Become aware of the larger conversations (social media, group chats, etc.) that you’re apart of and how they affect you. Once you become aware of those relationships that are negatively affecting you, it’s important to set boundaries. You can do this by simply communicating what you need and explaining why it’s important to you. Remember that learning to set healthy boundaries takes time, so be patient with yourself. Live a life you love. Remember, every day that you wake up is a gift. We need to start doing a better job of appreciating each day that we are given. Self-care is self-love. It is important to set goals. These can be goals for the day or goals for your life. It’s important to find purpose in the day-to-day so when we look back on a week, a month, a year, or even a lifetime, it doesn’t appear as just one meaningless blur. Nourish your soul through prayer or meditation. Nourish your mind through reading and education. Nourish your body by cooking for yourself and exercising. If you struggle with low motivation, start by simply making your bed in the morning. Why? Because small wins lead to big wins. While your worth is not based on how much you achieve, you will find that you feel more satisfied with your life when you accomplish even the smallest tasks. Our bodies are also a gift. This means we need to love the body that we are in with all its imperfections. Engage in exercise and physical activity to not only increase your physical strength, but to improve your mood. Exercise can cause you to feel more connected to your body. Drink water! For those plant lovers out there, you know what happens when you miss a day of watering you plant. The same thing happens to us, but we can’t see our insides withering as easily as we can watch plants’ leaves do. Each day take small steps toward living a life you’re proud of instead of setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Love is patient. Love is kind. So be patient and kind with yourself. This article was written by Paige Jonna, MSBS, PA-C, Samantha Mekani, MSBS, PA-C, Alyse Haddad, FNP, PMHNP, RN, founders of “All Reflect,” an online blog that focuses on bringing mental health concepts from the clinic to you. Follow them on Instagram @allreflect. 26 CHALDEAN NEWS <strong>FEBRUARY</strong> <strong>2021</strong>
Join the Chaldean American Chamber of Commerce. Nearly 1,000 Members Strong! INDIVIDUAL BUSINESS CORPORATE MEMBER BENEFITS ANNUAL RATE Individual / Non-Business Owner: $100/yr Business Member $200/yr Corporate Member $1,500/yr Free attendance to events Listed in printed directory Ability to submit content for e-news Invitation to exclusive events Sponsorship of Annual Meeting with opportunity to exhibit Opportunity to sponsor key events Logo and link on Chamber website Business description in Annual Report/Annual Directory Ability to host events Join today and refer a friend! Now more than ever, we need each other. Contact Sana Navarrette at snavarrette@chaldeanchamber.com or 248-851-1200 for more information 30095 NORTHWESTERN HIGHWAY, SUITE 101. FARMINGTON HILLS, MI 48334 248-851-1200 • CHALDEANCHAMBER.COM <strong>FEBRUARY</strong> <strong>2021</strong> CHALDEAN NEWS 27