Siouxland Magazine - Volume 3 Issue 2

Siouxland Magazine | Balance /44
Ask the Therapist
By Gladys Smith
Question: I’m struggling to adjust to all the
difficult changes that come with what’s been
referred to as our new normal. How can I
tap into my strengths to adapt and deal with
these changes?
Response: This is certainly a challenging time to
be alive! When our normal way of navigating life
has been turned upside down, it can be difficult to
muster the strength to keep going. It is during these
difficult times that we are often propelled to not only
tap into the strengths that we have, but to discover
new ones.
With all the changes we as a society have been forced
to make, it can often feel as though our lives are out
of control. When we find ourselves in this position,
it’s difficult to feel as if we have any strengths, let
alone know how to tap into them. One of the first
steps you can take to regain your inner strength is
to ensure that you have some semblance of order
in your life. It can be helpful to develop and stick
to routines for completing your daily tasks. Routine
can add structure and a measure of predictability to
your daily life, which will in turn lend to feelings of
relaxation and calm.
In order to tap into our strengths, it’s critical to
pay attention to your thought life, as our thoughts
impact how we feel about ourselves. When we
think negatively about ourselves or our situation, it’s
difficult to draw on our strengths. If you find that your
thoughts are mainly negative in nature, it’s helpful to
replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.
I would suggest making a list of positive affirmations
that resonate with you. An example might be, “I have
within me what I need to succeed,” or “I have the skills
to accomplish my goals.” When you notice that you
are thinking negative thoughts, work to replace those
thoughts with your positive affirmations. You will find
that with practice, this can become an effective habit
to help you better manage your emotions in difficult
and trying situations.
Developing ways to enhance your feelings of
accomplishment is an important aspect of enhancing
our self-worth and inner strength. It’s been suggested
that one way to do this is to make daily or weekly
goals for ourselves. I find it helps to write your goals
down as a way to hold yourself accountable and to
have a visual note of what you plan to do. I like to
make lists of the tasks I want to accomplish as it feels
good to be able to check them off my list. You’ll want
to be careful that your goals are realistic, so as not to
set yourself up for failure as this can leave you feeling
defeated.
Send Your
Questions to
the Therapist.
As always, it’s important to make sure that you are
practicing self-care as a way to cultivate your inner
strength. With the hustle and bustle of daily living, some
feel this is a luxury they can’t afford, while others feel that
caring for themselves is somehow selfish. In the words of
L. R. Knost, “taking care of myself doesn’t mean ‘me first’,
it means ‘me too’.” Self-care can be practiced in a myriad
of ways as it depends on what you find replenishes you.
Doing things, even small things, that bring you joy are
great ways to practice self-care. It’s also imperative that
you are not only getting enough sleep, but that you’re
getting good sleep. In the words of one of my wise
mentors, good sleep is restorative sleep. Developing
calming routines around bedtime can help to slow down
your mind and provide a sense of calm, making it easier
to fall asleep. Exercise, eating a balanced diet, and staying
hydrated are also important ways to practice self-care.
There are times in our lives when we can benefit from
drawing strength from others’ examples. Think about
the people you feel are strong and have modeled that
for you. What did you notice about their actions, or how
they related to you and others that conveyed strength?
What can you learn from their example that can help you
draw on your strengths in difficult situations? It can be
helpful to talk with others in your life that you feel possess
strengths you would like to develop. Don’t hesitate to ask
them what strengths they see in you as we don’t always
recognize the qualities that others see in us.
With all of the changes our new normal brings to our
daily lives, it’s important to ask yourself if you have truly
accepted these changes. One sure way to zap your inner
strength is to fight changes that you can’t control. I recently