Change Your Attitude… Change Your Life: 24/seven is a monthly, free magazine for personal growth, professional development, and self-empowerment. The approach is holistic, incorporating mind, body, soul, and spirit. As philosopher Francis Bacon said, “Knowledge is power.” Use this information to live your best life now.
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Allison
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MAYBE
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Rates and References upon request
EDITOR IN CHIEF
Joan Herrmann
—
ASSOCIATE EDITOR
Lindsay Pearson
—
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Matt Herrmann
—
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS
Chris Giordano
Andrea Valentie
Oliver Pane
—
CONTRIBUTORS
Lawrence Doochin
Lorie Gardner, RN, NBC-HWC
Sean Grover, LCSW
Gayle Gruenberg, CPO-CD, CVPO
Mark Hyman, MD
Joan Herrmann
Linda Mitchell, CPC
FROM THE EDITOR
—
It has been reported that the divorce rate
in America is 50 percent for first marriages,
67 percent for second marriages, and 73
percent for third marriages. These numbers
indicate that many people repeat the same
mistakes over and over again. While a new
relationship may look different at first,
before long we are right back where we
started, dealing with the same issues again,
repeating the same patterns.
I recently had the opportunity to speak
with Allana Pratt, a relationship coach and
intimacy expert, who is the author of six
books on love and relationships. We talked
about why these repeating patterns occur
and what we can do to create a healthy,
lasting love.
According to Allana, people repeat the
same mistakes when they don’t evolve from
the previous relationships – when they don’t
take the time to integrate the life lessons
and they don’t sit in the fire to heal their
wounded hearts. She says that we play a huge
rule in the creation of our bad relationships,
and therefore, we have the power to change
the patterns.
Allana believes that the biggest mistake
people make after a breakup is rushing
back into a relationship to to try to soothe
the emptiness inside. She advises that we
turn towards the pain and our wounded
parts in order to learn the lessons that were
presented by the relationship that didn’t
work out.
She adds that it takes bravery and humility
to face our pain, and she cautions that we
should seek support from someone who
doesn’t judge and who can ask reflective
questions that teach us to take responsibility
for the choices we make.
Allana’s advice to help us create a lasting
relationship:
Be mindful of thoughts and actions.
Understand that vibration is everything and
that it is important to create the vibration
you want to attract. When a person comes
from a place of desperation, he or she will
attract that kind of person. Be a whole,
healthy person to find a whole, healthy
person.
Find your tribe. Be with communities that
align with your values and beliefs. Within
“your people” you will meet potential
partners who are up for meaningful, deep,
conscious communication that lasts. Stop
dating numerous people from apps and build
relationships within aligned communities.
Let go of the results. Don’t be attached
to an outcome. Live your life and stop
desperately searching for “the one”. Become
the one to find the one. Let go of the
neediness and watch what happens!
Listen to my conversation with Allana:
https://spoti.fi/3l26TzU
— Joan Herrmann
ALLANA PRATT
ISSUE NO.125
INSIDE THIS
ISSUE
ON THIS MONTH’S
COVER
DO YOU NEED A DIGITAL DETOX?
BY MARK HYMAN, MD
PAGE 12
STOP SELLING YOURSELF SHORT:
3 STRATEGIES TO BEAT SELF DOUBT
BY JOAN HERRMANN
PAGE 20
ALLANA PRATT SHARES HER TIPS ON HOW TO
FIND LOVE SUCCESSFULLY AFTER DIVORCE. SHE IS
A RELATIONSHIP COACH AND INTIMACY EXPERT
WHO IS THE AUTHOR OF SIX BOOKS ON LOVE
AND RELATIONSHIPS. SHE HAS BEEN FEATURED IN
HUFFINGTON POST, PEOPLE MAGAZINE, AND FORBES,
AND ON CBS, TLC, ABC AND FOX.
LISTEN TO ALLANA ON CYACYL:
https://spoti.fi/3l26TzU
A SURVIVOR’S 5 STEPS TO OVERCOMING FEAR
BY LAWRENCE DOOCHIN
PAGE 24
3 TYPES OF PEOPLE MOST LIKELY TO LIE TO YOU
BY SEAN GROVER
PAGE 28
ORGANIZE TO AGE IN PLACE
BY GAYLE GRUENBERG
PAGE 32
SQUASH YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE
BY LINDA MITCHELL
PAGE 36
THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATING
YOUR WISHES
BY LORIE GARDNER
PAGE 40
MARCH 2021
24 SEVEN MAGAZINE
NEED NEW AD
ISSUE
NO.125
MARCH
2021
DO YOU
NEED A
DIGITAL
DETOX?
I visited a tech company once in San Francisco, and I walked
into a lunch area and saw everyone sitting on couches and
at tables, all on their computers. I asked, “Is this the silent
lunch room?” and was surprised when I was told no.
Written by Mark Hyman, MD
F
Far too often, I find myself on
my phone or computer for most of my day – often missing
the people and live events that are all around me. This
is why it is important to do a complete “digital detox” –
something I do at least a few times a year so that I can get
back to just being.
More and more studies have been coming out showing
the link between too much internet usage and screen time
and mental and mood disorders (like ADHD, anxiety,
depression etc.). In a recent study, people who reported
excessive internet use also reported social anxiety
disorders, loneliness, social isolation and lower quality of
life. The study also showed that Internet addiction was
associated with reduced immune function.
That’s right, too much Internet and screen time can
actually make you sick!
How is this possible? Your addiction to your screen
prevents you from the habits that make you a healthier
person. People who are addicted to their screens often
live very sedentary lifestyles. They don’t make enough
time for exercise, movement, community and play. These
are important factors in achieving optimal health. People
who habitually sit have as much risk of dying as people
who have bad diets or smoke. Being sedentary also
increases risk of cancer, heart disease and diabetes. If you
think about it, sitting is the new smoking.
Also, more time in front of your screen means less time
for face-to-face contact with other humans, which not
only increases stress but also feelings of isolation and
social anxiety. Too much FaceTime and Facebook, and
not enough real face-to-face time.
And there’s more. Too much screen time, especially
before bed disrupts our circadian rhythms, affecting our
hormones, our sleep and our energy. This artificial light
coming from our screens delays melatonin secretion
(needed for sleep); and we now know, that inadequate
sleep can quickly sabotage our efforts at getting healthy
and losing weight.
Sleep is a major cornerstone for an energetic, joyful,
healthy life.
One problem that’s been proven is that not getting
enough sleep or getting poor-quality sleep adversely
affects the hormones that make you hungry and store fat.
One study found that just one partial night’s sleep could
create insulin resistance. Ever wonder why you get bad
carb and sugar cravings after sleep deprivation? This is
why!
Other studies show that poor sleep contributes
to cardiovascular disease, mood disorders, poor immune
function and lower life expectancy. So, banish your phone
from your bedroom or at least switch it to airplane mode.
Downtime Linked to Healthier Habits
So many of us are used to slaving away in front of our
computers, pushing ourselves to get more work done
and be more efficient. However, a Stanford University
study found that creative output increased by an average
of 60 percent in people who took regular walks. In fact,
the more fun we have, the more we move, the more we
get out in nature and away from our devices, the more
productive we become and the healthier we are.
Attention and focus are hard to come by. Psychiatrists
increasingly diagnose “adult attention deficit disorder”
and prescribe Ritalin for grown-ups who can’t focus or
pay attention. A lot of this is caused by our distraction
by email and the ping of a new text message. Our bodies’
break down under the onslaught of stress – insomnia,
anxiety, depression and all chronic disease are made
worse by the unending stress from being constantly
plugged in.
In order to manage all of this stress, we need to unplug
and have fun. I love to incorporate play and fun in my
daily life: horseback riding, playing basketball, biking,
doing yoga, and decompressing with friends over a good
meal. These are all things that keep me happy and allow
me to recharge so I can perform well at all of my jobs –
and I have a lot of them!
Play is not just for kids, it’s for adults, too. Playing gives
us the chance to unplug, de-stress, find joy, challenge our
brain in different ways and connect with new and old
friends. It also keeps our immune systems healthy and
elevates our energy level.
I know it sounds impossible, but I suggest you
give it a try today. Here are my tips for unplugging for a
successful digital detox:
First, use a timer. Commit to only a certain amount of
screen time per day. I like to set a timer to stay focused
on the task at hand and when the timer goes off, I get up,
take a walk, stretch or take a yoga break. This keeps me
from being sedentary even on days where I have to do a
ton of work on the computer.
Next, silence your cell phone. Unplugging does not
mean going for a walk while scrolling through Facebook
and Instagram. Put your phone and your notifications on
silent so that your unplugged time isn’t interrupted by
noise. Carve out specific times to do emails, answer texts,
do social media or surf the Internet, and leave blocks of
time where your technology is turned off so you can focus,
play, read or just be.
Next, quit TV. Try going without TV for a week.
Television is a serious time suck that prevents us from
doing things we actually love to do and it keeps us from
accomplishing our goals. Quit TV for a week and watch
how much more time you have to cook and stay active.
And, finally, when it comes to exercise, find something
you love. When you don’t feel excited about going
to the gym, Netflix and that game on your smart
phone become very attractive. It’s important to find an
activity that you love. You won’t find me at the gym. I
love sports and adventurous activities that challenge
my body and my mind. Find what works for you. Find
something that you love so much, you’d rather do it than
sit in front of a screen.
About The Author
MARK HYMAN
Mark Hyman MD is the Director of Cleveland Clinic’s Center
for Functional Medicine, the Founder of The UltraWellness
Center, and a ten-time #1 New York Times Bestselling author.
To Learn More Visit:
www.drhyman.com
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March 2021 Issue
Stop Selling Yourself Short:
3 Strategies to Beat Self Doubt
Written by Joan Herrmann
L
Last week a friend called me to
share the story of something that happened to her, which she
described as ‘horrible’. While in a meeting at work, she was
put in the difficult position of having to make a quick decision
that could have serious ramifications. She said that she was
presented with two possible choices, each valid, but each with
a downside. Without much time, she weighed the options,
acknowledged the potential problems, and made her decision.
In public, she remained confident and self assured, but in
private, she was anxious, unsure, and scared.
By the time she called me, she had worked herself up into
a frenzy, having spent many hours beating herself up. She
wondered if she had made the right choice. She questioned
her decision making skills and if she had what it took to stay
in the job. She questioned her judgement. She allowed her self
doubts to take over and belittle her capabilities. My friend is an
intelligent, educated woman with many years on the job, and
yet, she doubted herself.
Does this story sound familiar? Have you ever allowed the
voice inside your head to question your abilities and cloud how
you viewed yourself?
Self doubt is part of the human experience. While it is good
to self examine and analyze action, the problem arises when
you allow the fear that fuels your doubt to consume you. When
that happens, it’s easy to become over cautious and inactive.
Self doubt makes many sell themselves short!
We’ve all been there at one time or another. Whether on
the job, managing children, or handling a personal situation,
it’s easy to question our abilities. The key is to not allow the
questioning to keep you stuck. When in doubt, try these
strategies:
Doubt your doubts. Understand that having doubts is part
of being human and that they are not the truth, but rather
stories you create about yourself. Stop writing the story. The
voice within is skilled at telling you what is wrong. Doubts
are fear driven and most of what we fear never materializes.
Before running with the fear, evaluate its legitimacy. Challenge
the doubt and call out your inner critic. Ask yourself: What if
you are more than prepared for the promotion? What if you
had everything needed to launch a business? What if your
advice was right on point?
Surround yourself with support. The people you hang out
with will either fuel your doubts or fuel your confidence. Build
a tribe of supporters. When you surround yourself with the
right people, you can be more, achieve more, and give more.
Choose wisely.
Be brave. The best way to overcome doubt is to take action.
With baby steps the more action you take, the less fear will
govern your life. When you dare to do the very thing you
doubt you can do, you will realize how little you needed to
doubt yourself. As Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds doubt
and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want
to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out
and get busy.”
It doesn’t take much to go down the black hole of self doubt.
And there will always be situations in which you will question
a decision or your ability to make it. The important thing to
remember is that as long as you use your best judgement
and do what you believe to be the right thing with the right
intention, that’s all anyone can ask of you.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Don’t allow
it to kill yours!
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN
Joan Herrmann is the creator of the Change Your Attitude…
Change Your life brand and host of the radio show and podcast,
Conversations with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and the
publisher of 24 Seven magazine.
To Learn More Visit:
www.JoanHerrmann.com
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March 2021 Issue
A Survivor’s 5 Steps To
Overcoming Fear
Written by Lawrence Doochin
I
I was sexually abused by my mother during puberty.
As you can imagine, this had significant consequences
for my self-worth. I came out of that experience with a
certain set of colored beliefs. We are each conditioned by
childhood, whether we have undergone obvious trauma
or not.
Not only did my abuse create a lot of guilt, shame, and
anger in me, but it also created tremendous fear and a need
to control. When we have been physically, emotionally,
mentally, or sexually abused, we try to control situations
and other people to keep ourselves safe. Certainly, I did
not recognize any of the underlying effects of my abuse
well into my twenties. I was just an angry person, which
is how most people react when they are in fear.
I realized around age 30 that I had a large amount of
dysfunction, which was inherited from my abuse and
which was creating unhappiness within myself and
my relationships, especially with my wife and children.
Something pushed me to start individual therapy as I
knew that life could be much better than living as the
angry and depressed person that I was. I also entered into
a spiritual path at the same time.
My thirties and into my forties held some difficult
times for me and my family as I worked to unwind many
false beliefs I held about myself, but I was grateful for
the positive changes occurring in me. I have always
viewed this process as peeling an onion — you take off
one layer of beliefs to discover a deeper layer underneath
it. Being willing to look at our unhealthy patterns is the
key to growth and eventually getting out of fear for good.
Once we start to shine the light of awareness on what is
supporting it, our fear dissipates.
One thing I learned early on and could apply in every
situation was to watch my emotions and reactions
and ask what the belief was that was behind them.
For instance, I often was angry because I could
not control a person or situation, which stemmed
from fear. This pointed me back to the abuse. I
also realized that my judgment of others was just
my self-judgment being projected out.
Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology,
said, “Projection is one of the commonest psychic
phenomena. Everything that is unconscious in
ourselves we discover in our neighbor and treat
him accordingly.” So my task was to pull my
judgments and projections back in, realizing this
was how I felt about myself. Every time I made an
awareness on the above situations and others, I
healed a little more.
Additionally, I recognized that there were
numerous personal and business situations where
I saw myself as a victim and gave away my power
to others. These were some hard lessons — as I
had to learn that power resides in me, and in my
knowing and trusting in who I am. Giving our
power away to others or even authorities in the
hope or expectation that they will take care of us
is actually disempowering, and causes a lot of fear.
As I released those false beliefs, my fear would
increasingly dissipate as what was true began to
be revealed. What I had previously believed about
myself came only from my experiences, but my
emotional work and spiritual journey helped me
to see that my identity was not my experiences.
My spiritual journey also helped me to trust in
something outside of myself, which I call God, and
to believe that this benevolent force “had my back”
so to speak. I felt that love and support, and I was
slowly able to release the need for control.
My spiritual revelations also helped me to
understand that there was much more than this
narrow ego lens of my experiences on this planet.
We are all here for a purpose, and we can take
comfort that we are individually and collectively
being guided, loved, and supported, and that there
is much we cannot understand. This was huge in
my releasing fear, and these realizations have been
my bedrock during the turbulent times we have
been living in.
Take these five essential steps to release yourself
from fear:
Acknowledge it. You can’t solve something if
you are in denial about it.
Ask for help. Asking for help is a type of
surrender. Even if you don’t have any type of
spiritual or religious belief, there are many human
helpers you can turn to.
Watch your emotional reactions. If you are
From The Story
“Projection
is one of the
commonest
psychic
phenomena.
Everything
that is
unconscious
in ourselves
we discover
in our
neighbor and
treat him
accordingly.”
angry, ask what belief you are angry about — usually
it’s a fear over something. If you are blaming (that’s
been big lately!) or being judgmental, and feeling
unwilling to forgive, pull that projection back and
ask what belief is supporting that judgment. You
will notice that as you do this, your judgments
soften. Those who are most trapped in fear are
the least willing to release judgment and let their
beliefs evolve. We see this manifested in all the
polarization around us.
Don’t be judgmental of yourself — as this is
a process. Be kind and especially compassionate
to yourself. We are all being pushed to evolve and
grow, both individually and collectively.
Be willing and be hungry for positive change!
It won’t always be easy, but you have to follow the
steps you are shown. Your choice is to stay in the
prison cell of your fear, or to be a warrior and take
the steps to release yourself from that cell. You
are your own jailer. But you are also much more
powerful than you know. And you are meant to live
a joy-filled life.
About The Author
LAWRENCE DOOCHIN
Lawrence Doochin is an author, entrepreneur, and
devoted husband and father. A survivor of harrowing
childhood sexual abuse, he traveled a long
journey of emotional and spiritual healing and
developed an in-depth understanding of how our
beliefs create our reality. In the business world, he
has worked for or been associated with enterprises
from small startups to multinational corporations.
He is the cofounder of HUSO sound therapy, which
delivers powerful healing benefits to individual
and professionals worldwide.
To Learn More Visit:
www.LawrenceDoochin.com
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3 Types
Of People
Most Likely
To Lie To You
Written by Sean Grover, LCSW
Y
You don’t want someone to lie to you; no one
does. Yet, eventually, someone will hurt with a lie.
Whether you see it coming or not, it doesn’t matter.
You still feel devastated. Sometimes the hurt is so
bad, you wonder if you will be the same again.
I used to think “feeling heartbroken” was just
an expression, even a tad dramatic and over the
top. It wasn’t until I was lied to by someone I
loved that I understood heartbreak to be a genuine
phenomenon. No other expression better captures
the essence of hurt.
I had a dull pain in the center of my chest.
Sometimes it faded during the day, but at night
it returned with a vengeance, a phantom that
delighted in my sleeplessness tortured me with
unanswered questions.
Why did this happen?
Was it my fault?
Why didn’t I see it coming?
It’s natural to feel flooded
with questions after someone
has misled you. Behind
every question is a yearning
for relief, the hope that
understanding will relieve
the pain of the lie. Yet even
with knowledge, the hurt is
likely to endure.
Certain people are more
inclined to lie and deceive
than others. Of course, this
is an oversimplification;
people don’t fit into neat
categories, but after 25 years
of practicing psychotherapy,
I’ve noticed three personality
types that are more likely to
lie to you. And, chances are,
you won’t see it coming.
Narcissists
Narcissists are frequently charismatic and
engaging. As long as they’re the center of your
attention, they shine. Unfortunately, you get
caught up in their glow. The moment you start
to question or challenge their views, they’ll
turn on you. For narcissists, love always has an
expiration date.
Substance Abusers
Oftentimes, those who are addicted to
substances become frequent liars. They may
say anything to maintain their addiction and
deceive others in their life. Too often, out of
love, you may deceive yourself and believe
them; even when their lies are blatant, you
may remain blind to reality. It may seem to
some that no one is greater skilled at lying and
manipulation than someone with a substance
use disorder who is seeking a fix.
Individuals with Bipolar or Borderline
Personality Disorders
Though there are 12 different personality
disorders, I have personally found bipolar and
borderline disorders to be among the most
destructive. In relationships, they can provide
you with a roller coaster ride of excitement.
For instance, when they love you, they love you
unconditionally. But when the tide changes,
it may be best to watch out. Their love may
From The Story
“Sometimes
the hurt is
so bad, you
wonder if you
will be the
same again.”
evaporate, and you may find yourself alone
and abandoned. A failed relationship with
someone with these diagnoses may hurt you so
badly that you may feel like you lost a piece of
yourself.
Of course, it would be difficult to find a person
who hasn’t lied to someone. Everyone is capable
of it. Yet there is a big difference between small
lies - I’m busy Saturday night - and lies that
wound - I would never cheat on you. Are there
acceptable lies in a relationship? That’s for you
to decide.
About The Author
SEAN GROVER
Sean Grover, LCSW, is a psychotherapist
and the author of When Kids Call the Shots:
How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully and
Enjoy Being a Parent Again.
To Learn More Visit:
www.SeanGrover.com
Life.
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201-364-6833 www.LGOrganized.com
March 2021 Issue
Organize to Age in Place
Written by Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD ® , CVPO
I
Imagine how you would react if
you were 85 years old, you’ve lived in your home for 50
years, and then your family told you that you have to move
to a studio apartment in an assisted living facility. Chances
are you would dig in your heels and say, “No way. I’m not
leaving my home.” OK. So what’s another viable option?
You can organize to age in place.
Aging in place supports the notion that older adults
should be able to maintain a desirable lifestyle by
participating in their communities, remaining independent
as their health allows, having access to educational,
cultural, and recreational facilities, feeling safe, and living
in an intergenerational environment.
Organizing to age in place yields the need to organize
for safety. Using the acronym DEAR, a few simple
modifications can make it easier for an older adult to
continue living comfortably and safely at home.
D - Delegate what the older adult can no longer do.
Activities like mowing the lawn, grocery shopping and food
prep, maintaining organizing systems, house cleaning,
personal care, or even driving can be outsourced. Having
help can also be a source of companionship for an older
adult who lives alone.
E – Eliminate safety hazards in the home. Move furniture
to accommodate a senior’s changing mobility and create
unobstructed access throughout the home. Tack down or
remove area rugs and electrical cords that may create a
tripping hazard. Relocate often-used items to within reach
to avoid the need to climb or bend. Keep things off stairs;
corral them in a basket used to transport things up and
down. If using the stairs is an issue, eliminate their need
by closing off upper or lower levels and moving living
areas to one floor.
A – Automate repetitive tasks that can be time and
energy drains. As we age, things “seem” to take longer
to do than they used to, and time feels more precious.
Older adults may want to spend that time in meaningful
ways. Technology allows us to schedule automatic grocery
or food delivery, bill paying, and laundry pickup. Home
automation, like security systems, lighting, thermostats,
and medical alerts, enhance an older adult’s feeling of
safety, comfort, and peace of mind.
R – Re-evaluate systems and spaces as the older adult’s
needs change. Different furniture, fixtures, and equipment
may be needed for easier mobility. There are chairs
designed for easier sitting and standing, door handles and
appliance knobs made for arthritic hands, grab bars and
handrails in attractive styles, clocks that speak or have
high-contrast illuminated larger numbers, doorbells with
modified tones, and smoke alarms with strobe lights.
About The Author
GAYLE GRUENBERG
Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD ® , CVPO is the chief executive
organizer of Let’s Get Organized, LLC, an organizer coach, and the
creator of the Make Space for Blessings system.
To Learn More Visit:
wwww.LGOrganized.com
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ISSUE NO.125 MARCH 2021
SQUASH
YOUR
FEAR
OF
FAILURE
Written by Linda Mitchell
Could fear be holding you back from evolving to your
full potential? Fear can hold you back from stepping into
your power and from living your soul’s true purpose. Fear
creates resistance to the natural flow of events and blocks
blessings. It can even prevent you from overcoming
obstacles and recognizing your true strength. Fear can
stop you in your tracks even when you’re on the right
path. It can keep you from pursuing your dreams, from
rewarding opportunities and relationships because fear
squashes courage. Simply stated, fear keeps you stuck.
Overtime, fear leads to feeling unfulfilled, sad,
confused and even settles into the body creating illness,
anxiety, imbalance and dis-ease. Humans are emotional
creatures and need to be able to express, not repress
emotions. Holding emotions inside means they’ll emerge
elsewhere. Unprocessed emotional energy like fear gets
stored in muscles, organs, tissues and bones. It leads to
inflammation, chronic health problems and compromised
health. Often, I see fear stuck in the mid and low back, the
kidneys and abdomen. Yes, your unresolved emotions and
issues land in your tissues. It’s essential to acknowledge
the fear, accept it and feel it fully - without judgment.
This is the key to healing and conquering fear. Feel it to
heal it!
The good news is you can choose to grow from your
fear in a way that catapults you into a field of opportunity,
adventure and liberation! Fear is a normal and often
healthy human emotion. It’s what we choose to do with it
that makes all the difference.
Rather than letting fear run the show, tune in to your
body and listen to the fear. Is it a healthy signal of a
potential threat to your safety or is it a chronic emotion
fed by your ego-brain trying to keep you from trying
something new? Are you drowning in a sea of fear; fear
of failure, rejection, embarrassment or simply fear of not
feeling good enough? You can get slapped by a wave of
discontent and boredom in one moment and in the next
get knocked over by fear of moving beyond the comfort of
the familiar. So how do you navigate these choppy waters
and choose to ride the wave of opportunity rather than
then get stuck in the undercurrent of status quo?
First, discern the source of your anxiety and then put
your objective glasses on to see if your fears are real or
mostly speculative. Some people tend to catastrophize
and look only at the worst-case scenarios. If so, your fears
could be keeping you stuck. One of the best definitions
I’ve seen for fear is this: False Evidence Appearing Real.
False evidence keeps you comfortable and safe.
Stagnant in fear, you’ll be most comfortable when you
rationalize (I call them rational-lies) all the reasons why
you can’t move forward. I have a sign in my office that I
look at daily; it says, everything you want is on the other
side of fear. This propels me forward, ever expanding
my comfort zone and keeping me keenly aware of the
excuses I create when fear sneaks in.
If you find yourself mired in fear, recognize this human
condition, give yourself some compassion and then a
gentle nudge forward. Trying and failing is so much less
painful than settling and regretting never having tried.
Don’t let fear take control. Fear stagnation, not failure!
There isn’t a single person who hasn’t met with
failure, disappointment and the sting of defeat. Along
this journey, failure is inevitable. When you look at it as
simply part of the process, you’re more accepting. My kids
used to think I was crazy when I congratulated them for
their little failures along the way. As young adults they
see the wisdom in that encouragement. The greatest gift
you can give yourself is to recognize that your journey
toward realizing your dreams is never a straight path,
but one dotted with hurdles, fears and valuable lessons.
Conquering fear makes you fierce, wise and free.
When fear rises up, pause, breathe and choose one
small step that will move you beyond the current obstacle.
Running from your fear is more painful than facing it.
Don’t fight fear; it’s an opportunity to grow into a better
version of yourself. That’s liberating and so much more
fulfilling than staying stuck in dissatisfaction. When you
face your fears, you’ll uncover the courage to overcome
them and find the fulfillment and peace you desire and
deserve.
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL
Linda Mitchell is a board-certified transition coach, speaker,
reinvention expert and LMT. She empowers people who are stuck,
overwhelmed or ready for change to release the struggle, gain
clarity, balance and radiant health as they move through life’s
challenges and transitions and step into their highest purpose.
To Learn More Visit:
www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com
March 2021 Issue
The Importance of
Communicating Your Wishes
Written by Lorie Gardner, RN
Do you feel you are important enough to let others know
your goals, preferences, and wishes? Have you spent the time
deciding what matters to you most about your life? What
are your values when it comes to making hard healthcare
decisions?
These are all important questions to address as you
make decisions regarding your end of life wishes. I know we
all don’t want to have to think about this, let alone discuss
it with a loved one and write up a document about it. As a
nurse advocate, I can agree with these feelings of wanting to
avoid this difficult subject, but I can assure you that once it is
done there is a sense of freedom. I have been involved in many
healthcare situations where this matter was not addressed
and there were tragic and costly consequences that you would
want to avoid. Not to mention, plenty of guilt to go around
because a crisis occurred, and you were not prepared.
I remember a complicated case where the client sustained
a stroke and was hospitalized for an extended period of time.
The client did start the recovery process but experienced
a cardiac arrest and was placed on life support. The patient
never regained consciousness and was cared for in the hospital
and then at long term care facilities for two years. There were
complicated family issues and due to this and not having a
clear advance directive it was not clear what this client would
have wanted.
There are so many online resources that can make this
conversation easier and more effective. There are wonderful
checklists and booklets you can complete and answer questions
so that all of the pertinent information you want to share is in
a clear and concise booklet.
Picking Your Healthcare Person
It is important to select a person to be your Healthcare
Proxy or Power of Attorney. That is the person who should
know your end of life wishes. This the person you designate
and ideally have a legal document drawn up. If before you
have a legal document written up, you can informally have that
conversation about your end of life wishes and that can be very
helpful as well.
On the subject of legal documents, listed below are all of the
documents and considerations that should be addressed that
involves your end of life wishes.
• Advance Directive (Living Will) so you can be specific
about what your end of life wishes are.
• Healthcare POA - a person you choose to discuss your
end of life wishes and your chosen quality of life. This person
makes medical decisions for you when you can’t. Take some
time and counsel choosing this person. It is not always a family
member. It should be someone you think has the strength and
integrity to follow through with your wishes.
•Durable POA - a person that is designated to act on your
behalf regarding financial matters if you become incapacitated.
There is a difference between a general POA and a durable and
that is the general is effective until someone is incapacitated
while the durable POA continues to death.
• POLST - Physician orders for life-sustaining treatment -
decide with your physician what end of life orders will be put
in place. This is frequently kept on a refrigerator in a home
which instructs any EMT personnel on what to do. Without
that the EMTs are required to perform all available lifesustaining
treatment.
• DNR/DNI orders – Do not resuscitate, no CPR, cardiac
drugs, or placement of a breathing tube otherwise called
intubation. DNI – do not intubate, but CPR and cardiac drugs
can be used.
• Organ donor designation
Although this is a difficult discussion and one that most of
us don’t want to ever think about, once you do, there is a sense
of accomplishment and freedom. When you do this planning,
you show your loved ones that you are providing them some
peace of mind for a time in the future that would be more
difficult without this information.
About The Author
LORIE GARDNER
Lorie Gardner RN, BSN, NBC-HWC, founded Healthlink
Advocates, Inc., to assist clients with all aspects of their
healthcare. As nurse advocates, they help clients navigate the
very complex healthcare system. Also, as nationally boardcertified
health and wellness coaches, they partner with clients
seeking more balance, less stress, increased energy, and
improved health outcomes.
To Learn More Visit:
www.healthlinkadvocates.com
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