24 Seven March 2021

Why did this happen?
Was it my fault?
Why didn’t I see it coming?
It’s natural to feel flooded
with questions after someone
has misled you. Behind
every question is a yearning
for relief, the hope that
understanding will relieve
the pain of the lie. Yet even
with knowledge, the hurt is
likely to endure.
Certain people are more
inclined to lie and deceive
than others. Of course, this
is an oversimplification;
people don’t fit into neat
categories, but after 25 years
of practicing psychotherapy,
I’ve noticed three personality
types that are more likely to
lie to you. And, chances are,
you won’t see it coming.
Narcissists
Narcissists are frequently charismatic and
engaging. As long as they’re the center of your
attention, they shine. Unfortunately, you get
caught up in their glow. The moment you start
to question or challenge their views, they’ll
turn on you. For narcissists, love always has an
expiration date.
Substance Abusers
Oftentimes, those who are addicted to
substances become frequent liars. They may
say anything to maintain their addiction and
deceive others in their life. Too often, out of
love, you may deceive yourself and believe
them; even when their lies are blatant, you
may remain blind to reality. It may seem to
some that no one is greater skilled at lying and
manipulation than someone with a substance
use disorder who is seeking a fix.
Individuals with Bipolar or Borderline
Personality Disorders
Though there are 12 different personality
disorders, I have personally found bipolar and
borderline disorders to be among the most
destructive. In relationships, they can provide
you with a roller coaster ride of excitement.
For instance, when they love you, they love you
unconditionally. But when the tide changes,
it may be best to watch out. Their love may
From The Story
“Sometimes
the hurt is
so bad, you
wonder if you
will be the
same again.”
evaporate, and you may find yourself alone
and abandoned. A failed relationship with
someone with these diagnoses may hurt you so
badly that you may feel like you lost a piece of
yourself.
Of course, it would be difficult to find a person
who hasn’t lied to someone. Everyone is capable
of it. Yet there is a big difference between small
lies - I’m busy Saturday night - and lies that
wound - I would never cheat on you. Are there
acceptable lies in a relationship? That’s for you
to decide.
About The Author
SEAN GROVER
Sean Grover, LCSW, is a psychotherapist
and the author of When Kids Call the Shots:
How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully and
Enjoy Being a Parent Again.
To Learn More Visit:
www.SeanGrover.com