CNY MARCH-APRIL 2021

online.magazines

SHE

HUSTLES

TALKS

WOMEN

ENTREPRENEURS

Featuring:

- - LAM HOANG MY

“AMY”

- RUMELLA CAMERON

- KW FITNESS

-A ROSE IS STILL A ROSE

- DEWITT STYLING

- MIND. BODY. META.

- ANGELA TEWA

-ALWAYS CHASING

BETTER COACHING

- SACRED GODDESS BOX

AND MORE!

Enjoy

FASHION FORWARD

WITH THE CHERRY PIT

VOICES FOR IMPACT

ASK DANIEL BALDWIN

WARRIOR WELLNESS

WITH ALEXIS TEARNEY

Shaneika Marie Ford

VISUAL ARTIST.PHOTOGRAPHER.

ENTREPRENEUR.


COVER STORY

16 SHANEIKA MARIE FORD

mar/ap

{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }

16

12

40

182

242

58


edition

{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }

87

REGULARS

66 WOMEN WHO INSPIRE

Evangela “Van” Stanley

62 ALL ACCESS

178 UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN

182 THE SAVVY ALLY

194 I AM...

58 ASK DANIEL BALDWIN

50 WOMAN ON THE RISE

Chloe Schnell

304 TRACY IS TALKING

308 IN HER OWN WORDS

240 ANIMAL CARE SANCTUARY

CORNER

232 TEEN TALK

182 AFTERNOON COCKTAIL

178 VOICES FOR IMPACT

276 B. MOR

214 SAVON SPEAKS

308 TRAVEL WITH AGNESS

225 BUSINESS TALK

270 THE LITTLE BLACK BUDDHA

288 YOU MATTER

REGULARS

194 COACHING WITH KRISTIN B

244 TAMMY’S TIDBITS

188 TRAVEL WITH AGNESS

SPECIAL FEATURES

87 SHE HUSTLES TALKS

Amy Houng

KW Fitness

A Rose Is Still A Rose

Rumella Cameron

Dewitt Styling

Mind. Body. Meta.

Angela Tewa

Always Chasing Better

Sacred Goddess Box

FASHION & BEAUTY

40 FASHION FORWARD

The Cherry Pit

HEALTH & WELLNESS

256 SEXUALLY SPEAKING

282 WELL TRAIL

312 MENTALLY THINKING

190 SCALP NY

174 ASK THE DOCTOR

204 WARRIOR WELLNESS

236 ZESTFUL AGING

262 DR J’S BEAUTY

274 WELLNESS 360

292 HIP HEMP

298 LADIOLOGY

62


{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

“Being powerful is like

being a lady...if you have

to tell people you are, your

aren’t.” - Margaret Thatcher

F

or the “Women’s History” edition of Central NY

Woman Online we are so excited to be able to bring

you our latest cover woman, Shaneika Marie Ford.

Visual Artist. Photographer. Entrepreneur. Mother

and owner of S’Marie Photography in Syracuse

NY. Read all about her inspiring story starting on

page [16].

Plus, you won’t want to miss all of the incredible features,

women entrepreneurHERS in our SHE Hustles Talks section,

new columns including “Ask Daniel Baldwin” and more that

is filling the pages of this edition!

For the Central NY Woman Online’s SHE Hustles Talks cover

woman this edition, we have the amazing founder of Golden

World Magazine, Goldenl World Group llc, Golden World

pageants and all around quintessential woman entrepreneur

and hustler, Lam Hoang My, but we just call her Amy. Amy

Hoang is an ambitious, successful businesswoman who is a

passionate innovator in the fashion, beauty and entertainment

industries. Read all about this fashionista starting on page

[87]. Then don’t forget to keep reading because there are so

many other amazing enrepreneurs also joining us this month

to tell their stories of how they are hustlin.

ON OUR COVER

T T

On the cover of our March/April edition of Central NY Woman Online, we have

visual artist, photographer, entrepreneur, mother and so much more... Shaneika

Marie Ford photographed by Rob Daniels photography.

Thank you for joining us for another amazing issue. Stay

tuned as we launch our sister publication Buffalo Woman

Online coming in April 2021, atart back up with our Pop Ups

in the CUSE on April 18th at the Craftsman Inn & Suites in

Fayetteville. And you definitely won’t want to miss the launch

of our She Hustles Talk Show on May 1st at OFC Creations

featuring women from all over the country coming together

to talk about business, how they are hustlin, and LOTS more.

We will also be launching our semi-annual Influential Woman

Online magazine where I will be sharing some of my story for

the first time.

This year is going to be amazing and filled with lots of new

opportunities. Hope you will all join us for the ride!

Kelly

8 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021


{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER

TALENT & PROMOTIONS

CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN

PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Kelly Breuer

LS Jones

Kelly Breuer

Brody Wheeler

KL Storyography

Natalia Karpov

S.Marie Photography

Rob Daniels

Sandy Arena

Dr. Shanelle Benson Reid

Kelli LaPage

Dr. Pam Denton

Angela Duncan

Tammy Vreeland

Tracy Simone

Randy Agness

Bonnie Floyd

Savon Holt

Rumella Cameron

Jarrod Schoomaker

Ellen Feldman

Judi Swanson

Ahlia Kitwana

Dr Pebble Kranz

Alexis Tearney

Kirsten Soos

Gabriella Rose Fiederlein

Chloe Shnell

Daniel Baldwin

Christine Grandin

Kristie Stumpf Rork

Dr. Sarah F. Spiegelhoff

Kelly Breuer

Toni Natalie

Network Rochester

Devin Mack

Devin Mack

Kristin Bauer Gross

Jeannie Gainsburg

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local

women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic

magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of

charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www.

rochesterwomanonline.com.

The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or

republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions

become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.


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}

SHANEIKA YOU ARE MARIE ENOUGH. FORD

BY KELLY BY BREUER NICOLE I HEROUX PHOTOS WILLIAMS BY ROB DANIELS I PHOTOS & S’MARIE BY NSP STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHY

Visual Artist.Photographer. Entrepreneur.

Recently, Central NY Woman Online

had the pleasure of doing a Q&A with

Syracuse photographer Shaneika Marie

Ford, otherwise know as, S’Marie. Known

for her incredible portrait photography,

we were excited to know more about

our latest cover woman and talk about

everything that makes her such an

amazing entrepreneur.

Tell us about

yourself...Where are

you from? Tell us

about your family

and your background.

My name is Shaneika

Marie Ford and I was

born and raised in

Syracuse, NY. I have 3

children (all boys) and

one furry son named

Max (Maltipoo). In

addition, to being a

mom and entrepreneur,

I currently work as

an Executive Director

at a local non-profit

agency. I started as the

part-time receptionist

straight out of high school and worked

my way up. Throughout my years of

being employed I also attended college

on and off until I received my Master’s

Degree in 2015.

Leadership and entrepreneurship was

always a part of my being. Being the

oldest of 6 prepared me for leadership.

I always felt I needed to be a good

example/role model for my siblings, so

I strived to be a great example for them.

I am almost always able to get people

to follow my lead.

Entrepreneurship was something I always

wanted to engage in. I remember so

vividly at the age of 9 saying I wanted

to be an entrepreneur. I was attending

a youth program and the coordinator

asked the class what we wanted to be

when we grew up and I said “I want

to be an entrepreneur”. So at a young

age I already knew what professional/

business journey I wanted to embark on.

How and when did you start

photography? Is it always something

you wanted to do?

Initially, photography started off as a

hobby for me. It wasn’t something I

wanted to do or even thought of. Back in

2013, photography went from a hobby

to an entrepreneurial endeavor when I

received a lot of praise and recognition

from some engagement photos I took

of my sister. Once those pictures were

released people were inboxing me for

photo sessions. So a former business

partner and I formed S&R Images. I

am mainly self-taught, but I did take

photography courses at OCM BOCES,

Syracuse University Light Work and

I attended and still do attend many

online photography classes through

various companies.

How did you start S

Marie Photography?

S’Marie Photography

came about in 2016

when I decided to

embark on my

photography journey

alone. S’Marie is

actually just may

name shortened

(Shaneika Marie =

S’Marie). I decided

to brand my name.

What is your

favorite part of

doing what you do?

Capturing moments

that will create a

physical memory for families. I love

to see the smile on people’s faces and

the laughter they have while looking at

their pictures. It also warms my heart

when I see people share photos I took

of their loved ones and even more so

when they share photos I took of their

loved ones that have passed away. I love

that I was able to capture a moment in

time for them that they can have and

look at forever. When I realized how

meaningful a physical memory was

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“Entrepreneurship was something

I always wanted to engage in. I

remember so vividly at the age

of 9 saying I wanted to be an

entrepreneur.” I was attending a

youth program and the coordinator

asked the class what we wanted

to be when we grew up and I said

“I want to be an entrepreneur”.

So at a young age I already knew

what professional/business journey I

wanted to embark on.”

CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021 19


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“My biggest success personally was not succumbing to the statistics of teen moms. Being a

teen mom presented some challenges but I prevailed.”

that’s when my passion for photography

turned into my purpose.

Do you have any advice for other

females wanting to jump in to the

photography business and what the

most important thing to remember is?

Yes my advice would be: Don’t get

discouraged about the saturated

photography field. Everyone has their

own lane and niche that will make them

stand out from the rest. It doesn’t even

have to be that you provide the highest

quality images it could just be your

personality that sets you apart. What

God has for you is for you.

Also, everyone is not your client! Never

be offended or become discouraged if

people do not like your work or prefer

not to use your services. Some people

will love it and some won’t- that’s life

and its OK! I always say I prefer Aldi’s

over Wegmans; Walmart over Target

while others prefer Wegmans and Target

(get where I’m going?). At the end they

all have their preferred clientele and so

will you! Thank goodness for options

What has been your biggest challenge

during the pandemic?

The biggest challenge for me has been

juggling work, homeschooling and

making the tough decision to temporarily

close my business. I closed for about 2

months and then reopened on a limited

and reduced basis.

What has been your biggest success

both personally and professionally

and why?

My biggest success personally was not

succumbing to the statistics of teen

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“ S’Marie Photography came about in 2016 when I decided to embark on my

photography journey alone.”

moms. Being a teen mom presented

some challenges but I prevailed.

Professionally, Stepping out alone to

start and grow my business. This was

huge for me because I am the behind

the scenes type of woman. Believe it or

not I do not like attention . I’d rather

be the mastermind behind the

scenes . Stepping out on my

own meant I had to come from

the back to the front which took

a lot of courage .

Who has made the biggest impact

on your life and why?

Of course my children impact my

life. It’s because of them that my

strength, drive and determination

to succeed is magnified. I value

them and want to leave a good

legacy for them. Additionally,

I’d like to give recognition and

credit to the environment I grew

up in. My environment was a

huge impact on my life. My

environment (neighborhood,

family dynamics, etc.) was one

of such that I did not want to

be like, live like, or live in! It was

a huge motivator for me to stay

focused and do what I needed to

do to create a better life for me.

What do you think is your

strongest skill as a photographer?

My ability to connect and build a rapport

with my clients. This connection has

led to referrals, returning clients and

most important genuine friendships. I

have met some beautiful souls whom are

dear to my heart through photography.

What do you know now that you didn’t

know 10 years ago about yourself?

How I will purposely find advantage in

adversity. My life’s motto is “it is what

it is” so with I always try to find some

good and some opportunity in adversity.

What was the biggest obstacle you

faced in your life, and how did you

overcome it?

My biggest obstacle was presented in

my teen years, when I found myself

pregnant at 16. I just knew my life was

“over”. When I say over I mean all the

dreams and desires I had for myself were

no longer obtainable. I was sure I would

be everything I said I didn’t want to be

and everything others around me said I

would be because I was pregnant at such

a young age (uneducated, on welfare,

etc.). However!! As you can see I’m none

of those! I always had confidence in

myself. I always believed in me! I always

bet on me! So no matter what I knew

having a child wasn’t going

to hinder me. My journey

may have been altered by my

vision was not. I graduated

high school on time with my

class. Class of 2000. I walked

across that stage to where

my baby was on the other

side waiting for me. I went

on to working full time and

furthering my education. Now

I presently sit in front of you

as Ms. Shaneika Ford, MBA,

Owner of S’Marie Photography

and current Executive Director

of a local non-profit which

employs approximately 45

employees and services 80

individuals with intellectual/

developmental disabilities.

Are there any resources or

even advice that someone

has given you that have really

helped you on your journey?

The good ol’ practice, practice,

practice advice! You cannot

improve if you don’t get out there and

shoot!

What has been your biggest

accomplishment in your career thus far?

My biggest accomplishment thus far is

receiving 2 construction photography

contracts with a well-known and

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“Everyone has their own lane and niche that will make them stand out from the rest. ”

prestigious company. My goal for

S’Marie Photography in 2018 was to tap

into larger revenue generating projects

and this included receiving contracts.

I put out a Facebook and Instagram

New Year post and said I was looking

for contracts of all sorts and lo and

behold I received two not even a year

apart . Construction photography

also allowed me to venture into another

form of photography.

What is your favorite form of social

media in 2021 and why?

I tend to gravitate more towards Facebook.

Facebook has been the most beneficial

platform for me. It allows me to have

my own business page, promote, sponsor

to reach a larger audience, showcase my

work, and so much more. I especially

like that my clients can share the pictures

that I took of them and I usually gain

more followers and most importantly

more clientele that way.

Many people have unrealistic

expectations and ideas about being a

professional photographer and running

their own business. How have you

overcome these?

I’m a realist so I wouldn’t say I had to

overcome any unrealistic expectations. I

didn’t have the unrealistic expectations

that I would become a top photographer

overnight or everyone would know my

name nor did I expect that everyone

would love my work. I knew it would/

will take time for me to become one of

the best and to be known so I knew I

had to get out and put the footwork in.

#17 Where do you see yourself 1 year,

3years, 5 years from now?

I have been saying this for the last couple

of years and now I’m manifesting that

I retire at 40 and go full fledge into

self-employment/entrepreneurship.

Along with photography, I am exploring

additional wealth generating opportunities

to help me reach this goal. So to answer

your question, I see myself retired from

working for others and solely working

for me.

What has been your key to successfully

being in business this long and makes

you not just a great photographer, but

a female entrepreneur?

A few things have been key to me being

successful. First, I would say being a

woman that is confident and eager

to learn and grow has been key to my

success as a photographer and female

entrepreneur. Additionally, being able

to achieve balance in all aspects of my

life has helped as well. Lastly, being

professional, open-minded, and having

a positive mindset keeps me going and

thriving.

What makes Women’s History month

special for you?

Women shine 24/7-365 so we should

be recognized all day every day but it’s

nice to have a month solely dedicated

and putting focus to recognizing our

historic and present contributions to

the world. Women are amazing and do

amazing things. Women are killin’ it!!

As a business owner, what would you

say are your top priorities for both

yourself personally and in your business?

One priority I would share is self-care.

It is so important that we take care

of ourselves. We are no good to our

business or our self if we don’t indulge

in self-care.

How do you market your business

during the pandemic, and which

avenues have you found to be most

successful?

I’m grateful for word-of-mouth

marketing. A lot of business during

the pandemic came from client referrals.

Additionally, my social media accounts

remained active so people were able to

find me and view my work that way.

Tell us about one event that has

happened in your life that has changed

you and why.

Having a child at a young age changed me.

I already felt I knew about responsibilities

because I am the oldest child and often

helped my mom but having a child

of your own is a whole other level to

responsibility. I was a typical teenager

that liked to hang out with friends and

didn’t always make the best decisions.

Living in the type of environment I

grew up in it was easy to get caught up

in the wrong crowd. Having my son

forced me to make the right decisions

for my life and his life despite what my

surroundings showed me. It forced me

to be responsible at a higher level. I truly

believe had I not had a child that no

matter how determined I was to not

fall victim to my environment I could

have. It gave my life more purpose and

drive to succeed.

I want to make it clear that I’m not

condoning teen pregnancy at all! I

encourage all teens to wait until they

are an adult to experience parenthood.

Don’t take away the years you need to

CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021 33


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“Leadership and entrepreneurship was always a part of my being. Being the oldest of 6

prepared me for leadership.”

experience and explore life. This is just

an event in my life that changed me.

This is the life plan that God has written

for me to live.

What have you found

to be successful or a

hindrance being in

Central NY?

A success and hindrance

to being in Central

NY is that it’s a small

community. Everyone is

connected to everyone

in some shape or form.

This is a good thing

and bad.

Do you think being a

minority has helped

or hindered you in

business?

I think it has both

helped and hindered.

The business as an

entity may be eligible

for several resources

that are great even more

so with having my

MWBE Certification

I’m afforded more

opportunities but the

hindering is being

labeled a minority

which does harm at

times because of the

bias and stereotypes

that follow us within

the system.

Who has been your biggest influence or

a mentor photographically and why?

Again, photography was initially a

hobby for me so I do not have a long

standing history following photographers.

However, I have been following the

work of Shamayim. I also love the fact

that photographer Polly Irungu created

a space for black women photographers.

Black women photographers is global

community and directory where your

work can be shared and featured for

more exposure and recognition.

Tell us about your most memorable

photoshoot and why is stands out

above others.

My most memorable

photo shoot was a

maternity shoot that I

shot at a local hiking trial.

It stands out above others

because the scenery was

absolutely beautiful and

the area the mother chose

to stand held so much

meaning. She choose to

stand by a huge tree that

roots were so visible. This

tree, for her, represented

the tree of life. Signifying

strength, courage, new

life and immortality. The

roots were so prominent

supporting this huge

tree. For me it was very

symbolic to a mother

being the foundation,

birthing, nurturing,

raising, and forever

supporting her child.

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CHERRY PIT

BY KIRSTEN SOOS I PHOTOS BY NATALIA KARPOV

Red is bold. Striking. The pigment of

rich wines, or the color found in each

dark, acidic bite from a cherry.

In downtown Syracuse’s McCarthy

Mercantile a new shop has

found its home; the Cherry Pit

Collective. The talented and

creative minds of three local

sellers have come together,

making a splash in the

underground shopping center.

Despite the cool, industrial

aura that encompasses the

mercantile, the Cherry Pit

caught my eye with its warm

glow the moment I came

down the stairs. Perhaps it

was the cozy layout with a

vintage room divider, carpets,

and a record player. Or, the

caring way each garment hung

on the racks in harmony,

echoing the cheerfulness of

a rainbow. Maybe it was the

seamless blend of three very

distinct styles, ones that had

me digging through the rows

of outfits I adored and loved

to mix and match. Whatever

the reason, the eye for detail

possessed by Abby Minicozzi,

Michelle Pfaff, and Chloe

Schnell has carved out an

undeniable corner underneath

the Wildflowers Armory.

The three women met during

their weekend popups and decided to

take the plunge and open a shop. In

addition to selling vintage pieces, each

Cherry Pit designer is preparing to dive

into upcycling, a realm of fashion in

which they are all clearly capable. They

have found a sense of togetherness in

their goals, and this has translated to an

overall approach toward their business

model. Right away, the Cherry Pit

has had its customers walking out the

door with reusable tote bags, branded

with a classy logo while promoting an

ecological mindset. Not only that, but

fifty percent of the proceeds for each bag

are donated monthly to the Vera House,

a foundation seeking to provide resources

for victims of abuse, as well as education

on its many forms. To give back to the

community, and instill trust in their

shoppers, the Cherry Pit

girls will be posting these

receipts monthly for full

transparency.

However, this emphasis

on unity hasn’t stripped

the personalities of Abby,

Michelle, or Chloe away.

Prior to this endeavor,

each woman has

dedicated themselves to

their individual fashion

brands.

Michelle Pfaff is the

founder of Fawnd

Vintage. A tall, curlyhaired

lady with a

commanding presence,

Michelle has always had

ambition, and an interest

in clothing, even at a

young age. In high school

she started a fashion club,

winning a department

award her senior year.

Michelle went on to

pursue an education at

the Fashion Institute of

Technology, graduating

in 2018 with a Bachelor

of Science Degree in

Entrepreneurship and

Ethics and Sustainability. Upon returning

to Syracuse in 2020, Fawnd began,

taking inspiration from Paris and

Barcelona while integrating clothing

from her own collection. Michelle

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“Red is bold. Striking. The pigment of rich wines, or the color found in each dark, acidic

bite from a cherry.”

brings a romantic, bohemian style to

the Cherry Pit, blending earth tones

with feminine patterns and florals.

This mesh of balanced colors and

practical pieces doesn’t mean Michelle

is afraid of the bright and the unique,

however. Like her co-founders, she

is a fan of red, her favorite shade

being Persian.

Abigail, Abby, Minicozzi is currently

attending Syracuse University. Her

love for clothing led her to collect

more pieces than she knew what to

do with. Abby has now launched a

mini online business and fashion

label within the Cherry Pit called

Metamodernity. Drawn to movements

from many different decades, Abby has

always wanted to prioritize respect for

tradition while gaining an instinct for

what’s coming next. The very name

of her brand encapsulates a style that

renews bits and bobbles from the past

while continuing to create and design

outfits for an everchanging world.

Pieces that are available for purchase

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“ Despite the cool, industrial aura that encompasses the mercantile, the Cherry Pit caught

my eye with its warm glow the moment I came down the stairs.”

that are available for purchase through

Abby’s line are great for a busy student,

without sacrificing style or comfort.

Imagine a satin long sleeve button-up

with sixties-style flowers, but a modern,

flattering cut; a retro, futuristic approach.

Forward-thinking and enthusiastic, Abby’s

youth has led to success in college and

an optimism that is unlikely to slow,

no matter what is thrown at her. Abby

also has an affinity for red, though her

preferred shade is maroon.

Chloe Schnell has already had a

substantial career in fashion, designing

her first collection for a runway show at

fourteen. Despite the ups and downs of

the industry, Chloe has an unbreakable

spirit that has at times dimmed but has

never gone out. Her tastes, and her own

contributions to the industry, can best

be described as possessing a flair for the

dramatic. Chloe has learned to thrive

within unorthodox trends, without

lacking knowledge on all the stylists

that have come before her. Her favorite

shade of red is scarlet.

The Cherry Pit has had a very successful

first month, and the founders only hope

to continue growing, as well as providing

opportunities for other artists.

Photography by Natalia Karpov. @

TheNatLens

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YOU CHLOE ARE SCHNELL ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

In America alone, fashion is a multibillion

dollar industry, as well as an

artistic outlet for countless visionaries.

However, it’s not all about the glitter.

Clothing is first and foremost a

necessity. Designers who

want to survive within an

ever-changing industry

need to keep thinking

about next steps. So,

where do you find an

artist who’s practical with

textiles while daring to

go against conventional

trends? Look no further

than Chloe Schnell.

Ambitious, bright, and

the personification of the

avant-garde, Chloe Schnell

has already had an eyeopening

and successful

start to her career; and,

she’s only twenty-three.

Schnell’s first step into

the fashion world began

at fourteen with her own

runway show. Through

this, she was introduced

to Jennifer Diederich, a

designer from Syracuse

NY whose collections

and time on Project

Runway have earned her

recognition. Through her

experienced colleague’s

support, Schnell ventured

to New York City for an

internship. Soon, she was knee-deep in

fabric and garments, running errands,

and even modeling in Diederich’s

2012 collection, until her return to

Syracuse.

Schnell’s second collection was shown

at a trunk show in Armory Square,

consisting of six prom-style dresses,

two of which sold right then and

there. Her third collection, a tenpiece,

all-white line, was showcased

at the Oncenter in the winter of

2013. Her love for vinyl fabrics

and odd shapes began to play a role

in her design approach. Two years

later, the landmark theatre offered

a first look at her EGG collection,

utilizing spherical influences and a

yellow, brown, and white palette. By

eighteen, not only did she have six

collections under her belt,

they were all handmade

and one-of-a-kind.

Schnell has made it

clear; “I work with single

pieces. I have never massproduced

my work. It feels

more special that way.”

After high school, where

else would a young

designer with clear talent

and passion go than the

Fashion Institute of

Technology? This path was

one Schnell had always

dreamed of. With her

body of work, it seemed

she would be nothing

shy of a shoo-in. Yet,

Schnell’s excitement was

soon crushed. FIT denied

her application.

However, Schnell’s

optimistic flame was far

from burning out.

Moving to Brooklyn, she

knew that the best thing

she could do for herself

was to continue working

in any facet of fashion she

could. Finding positions at vintage

shops and artists’ markets kept her

communication and sewing skills

sharp. The disappointment following

FIT’s rejection only made her work

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“Clothing is first and foremost a

necessity. Designers who want to

survive within an ever-changing

industry need to keep thinking

about next steps. So, where do you

find an artist who’s practical with

textiles while daring to go against

conventional trends? Look no

further than Chloe Schnell. ”

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“Buy second hand, buy local. F*** fast fashion. Support your local designer.”

harder. By Christmas, Schnell saw

herself boldly posing in an advert

displayed on New York’s L-train.

The next opportunity she had to

reapply, she did, and this time she

received an acceptance letter from

FIT. Schnell went on to design two

more unique collections;

the ZIG-ZAG in 2016, and

the Teletubbies Collection

in 2018.

Unfortunately, despite the

opportunities her dream

school provided, Schnell’s

time at FIT was not without

its slew of challenges.

Living in the city was

expensive. Throwing

herself into her work meant

sacrifices. Coupled with

the competitiveness of

academia preparing her

for an industry she was

starting to lose faith in,

Schnell was left feeling

isolated and, at times,

defeated. It was hard to

find happiness in creating

when the truth about the

directions her career could

take were laid out in front

of her; “The ridiculous

markups, the exploitation

of workers, the praising of

over-exaggerated egos. I

spent a while processing the

negative reactions from my professors,

who I told I wanted to be ethical

and sustainable. I came very close

to giving up on fashion altogether.”

Like many who want to make a

difference, Schnell wanted to do

what felt right in her heart. Yet,

those who are most effective are not

rule-breakers; they are instead those

who learn the rules so they can make

new ones.

Chloe Schnell now has a new dream.

She doesn’t just want to just sell

her designs, she wants her business

model to exemplify consideration as it

confronts the established and orthodox

approaches. Having always loved

creating custom clothing, Schnell

wants to someday open an in-house

garment production store. A store

that will have its own seamstresses,

its own designers, its own team who,

prior, “have been affected negatively

by the garment production industry.

I want to ensure a positive,

safe, working environment

where employees make a

living wage.”

Presently, Schnell is

working with her clients

to make custom clothing,

continuing to shape this

business model into a

reality. Her mother, Pam

Schnell, has a professional

sewing service, whose

first custom collection

was designed by Chloe

following her graduation

from FIT. Idioms and

Aphorisms

was an eight-piece dress

line, basing garments on

phrases such as, all eyes on

me, which is pictured here.

While her love for fashion

design has returned, and a

renewed sense of optimism

has been garnered, Schnell

has one current request for

designers and consumers;

“Pay attention to tags. Where was it

made? Whose hands participated in its

construction? Is the price outrageously

low? Buy second hand, buy local.

F*** fast fashion. Support your local

designer.”

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}

58 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021


{ { WOMAN ASK { SHIFT+CONTROL DANIEL ENTREPRENEUR BALDWIN } } }

ASK ME ANYTHING...

BY DANIEL BALDWIN I PHOTOS BY BRODY WHEELER

It’s interesting the process of being

in a magazine. You sit down and do

an interview, or sometimes multiple

interviews, then there’s the photoshoot

and the many things we talk about

and learn about each other on that

day.

As a reader, you don’t see all of

the “behind the scenes” that

goes on especially between

the subject and writer, and

you certainly don’t get to ask

any of the questions. After the

article comes out, boom...

thousands of inquiries and

questions follow.

Because I live my life in

service, I approached Kelly

Breuer and asked her, “Could

I write an article for your

magazine monthly”? I want to

give my experience, strength

and hope to those who may

be able to benefit from it.

Kelly said, “yes”, so here we

go! Ask away...don’t be shy, I

will answer anything.

So here we go. #1 Does he

still plan on opening a rehab

facility on the north shore?! If

so how can I help? - Jennafer

Kelly

Daniel: Jennifer, the North

Shore Rehab idea is still on the table.

The problem is getting people behind

it that live near where the rehab

center would be.

What I get is, “We dont want a bunch

of druggies living near us.”

Well guess what people, the same

kids that are robbing your homes

and cars who live on your block are

the kids I would help in the rehab.

It’s a bad problem. Let’s strap our

boots on and clean it up.

#2 Why are they’re so few actor’s

and actresses with disabilities in the

entertainment industry? And can

you get me his autograph lol. - Tom

Turner

Daniel: Hi Tom, I think there are

more actors and famous people with

disabilities than you may realize. I

believe the problem lies more with

why it is not more publicized that

they are challenged.

How inspirational it

is to see an individual

overcome their

obstacles.

Hers a list of some

of those who have

achieved greatness.

Including:

- personality disorders

(Billie Eilish)

- famous people in

wheelchairs (Stephen

Hawking)

- famous people with

learning disabilities

(Tom Cruise)

- celebrities with

physical disabilities

(Stevie Wonder)

- famous people with

learning disabilities

(Chris Rock)

- other successful

people with disabilities

(Franklin Delano

Roosevelt)

#3 As a multi-award

winning screenwriter, I’m starting to

look for either an agent or a manager.

I was just nominated for the 12th

time in only 3 years for Best Original

Screenplay (this time at the Beverly

Hills Film Festival for a comedy I

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{ ASK { SHIFT+CONTROL DANIEL BALDWIN } }

“I want to give my experience, strength and hope to those who may be able to benefit from

it. ”

screenwriting awards in Burbank, LA and

elsewhere. It’s time to find representation

but I don’t know anyone. Can Daniel

recommend someone? I am very serious

about this as a professional move. -

Bridgette Yaxley

Daniel: Well Bridgette, congratulations

on your success. It sounds like finding

an agent shouldn’t be that hard for

you at all.

I can help you on your journey for

sure. I’ll privately message you with

an introduction or two if you like.

Let me advise you and others on how

you pick the right agent or manager. I

think it starts like many relationships

in life. Do you feel comfortable with

this person? Do you like them? Can

you communicate freely with them?

Do they have the same vision and

goals as you? Yes it sounds like dating

a little bit but actually?

This is an intense partnership that

can often last for years and have a

dramatic outcome on your career.

You want someone who is going to

say your name everyday.

Ask Daniel at acemanhead@mac.com

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WHO IS SHANELLE R.

BENSON REID?

BY DR SHANELLE BENSON REID

THE WOMAN

Dr. Shanelle R. Benson Reid, President

and CEO of the ACCESS Global Family

of Companies, Devoted Educator and

Serial Entrepreneur has spent her adult life

encouraging others, cultivating relationships

and advocating for the underserved.

THE STUDENT

Dr. Benson Reid earned an Associate of

Arts in Liberal Studies from San Bernardino

Valley Community College, a Bachelor

of Arts in Sociology from California State

University, San Bernardino (CSUSB)

and a Master of Arts in Education from

CSUSB as well. Dr. Benson Reid earned

her Doctorate in Organizational Leadership

from the University of La Verne.

Her academic achievements and life

experiences, prepared her for a career in

assessing, designing and implementing

programs to address equity and social

awareness in both public and private

educational settings.

THE ENTREPRENEUR

However, her leadership extends beyond

the schoolhouse to more recent feats of

entrepreneurship as the President and CEO

of ACCESS Global Group, where her

mission remains grounded in relationship

building and community service.

ACCESS Global Group is a Consulting Firm

that addresses organizational challenges in the

areas of Management Consulting, Executive

Coaching, Professional Development, Public

Relations, Legal Analysis, Human Resources

Compliance and Talent Acquisition. ACCESS

Global Group specializes in meeting the needs

of the organizations while simultaneously

meeting the needs of the stakeholders.

Possessing a fervent commitment to economic

development, Dr. Benson Reid launched

ACCESS Dental Laboratories with her

husband, Mr. Todd R. Reid, Sr. ACCESS

Dental Laboratories is a full-service dental

laboratory that specializes in the design of

crowns, bridges, partials, dentures, night

guards, implants and veneers.

THE CANDIDATE

Dr. Benson Reid’s unique connection

to the City of Syracuse and District 14

enables her to build bridges and empower

stakeholders while advocating for resources

and representation. Likewise, her passion

for people and commitment to community

has prepared her for this new journey.

With a desire to advance Children and

Family Services, Access

SHANELLE

to Healthcare, Equity

in Education, Employment Restoration

/ Opportunities and Environmental

Sustainability, Dr. Benson Reid is poised to

represent District 14 of Onondaga County.

THE PLATFORM

Children and Family Service

From medical testing and vaccines to

therapy and counseling, Dr. Benson Reid

believes there must be equitable access to

exceptional, comprehensive children and

family service across Onondaga County.

ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT

As a business owner, Dr. Benson Reid

recognizes the benefit of economic

development and realizes Onondaga County

offers attractive incentives to local, regional

and national businesses. However, she

believes priority must be given to existing

businesses.

TAX INCENTIVES

One of the many advantages of operating a

business in Onondaga County is enormous

tax incentives. As a business owner, Dr.

Benson Reid recognizes the need for economic

development but she also recognizes the

need for a balanced economic plan that

not only benefits corporations but also

benefits constituents. Tax incentives should

be contingent on the number of people

hired with competitive salaries and benefit

packages as well as the overall economic

contribution to the community.

ACCESS AND AVAILABILITY

As it stands, there is a disconnect between

the people who live in District 14 and the

decisions that are being made on behalf of

District 14. This must change. The citizens

must have access to information that will

undoubtedly impact their current and future

well-being, as well as the representative who

is charged with speaking on behalf of the

citizens of District 14. Transparent access

and availability is the minimum.

GERRYMANDERING

Redistricting has been and will continue to

be an important discussion. Gerrymandering

is typically used for gaining a competitive

advantage. To avoid improprieties,

redistricting should be in the hands of

nonpartisan individuals, committees and

/ or organizations.

ENVIRONMENTAL SUSTAINABILITY

With open fields, distinctive wildlife and

close-knit communities, Onondaga County

is a great place to call home. Corporations

that choose to do business in District 14

must understand the need for environmental

sustainability and commit to adhering to

the highest environmental standards.

THE TEAM

Dr. Benson Reid is committed to serving the

residence of District 14 as well as Onondaga

County. Her personal motto is “inspire

individuals to pursue self-discovery, empower

them to be innovative, progressive and

revolutionary in thought and motivate them

to be global activists.” Dr. Benson Reid

encourages self-analysis and self-assessment

while promoting innovative and progressive

designs for change and implementing

strategies for sustained success.

Looking to join the team? We would be

honored to have you!

From Door-to-Door Canvasing and Making

Phone Calls to Candidate Meet and Greets

and Campaign Fundraisers, Together, Let’s

Make Our Next Day Our Best Day!

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SHANELLE


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EVANGELA “VAN” STANLEY

BY KELLY BREUER I PHOTOS BY BRODY WHEELER

In this month’s “women’s history” edition

of Central NYWoman Online, we have an

incredibly inspiring woman, also known

by many as a true Rochester “staple”. She

has been helping others in her community

and giving back selflessly for over 20

years. She is the People’s Choice Kitchen

owner, a single mom, a true

woman entrepreneur and

well, all around empowering

woman...please welcome

Evangela Stanley, but you

can call her Van. She is

the epitome of a strong

and giving woman and is

always hustling to help others.

I am so excited that we have

such an all-around amazing

woman in the local Rochester

community for you to

stop in when you come to

town. I had the pleasure to

sit down and talk with her

and find out just who she

is. Her big smile greeting

me when I walked through

her doors and she was so

excited for her cover shoot.

After all she was celebrating

20 years in business and

just received the key to the

city from Mayor Lovely

Warren. It was heartwarming

to see some of her friends joining us

to support her, including her son

Egypt that I had the pleasure to meet.

We barely scratched the surface of this

incredible woman ‘s journey and story

during our interview, but we hope you

enjoy what she had to tell us. Make sure

to stop by 507 Chili Ave and say hi and

while you are there, don’t forget to order

their award-winning jerk salad! Did I

mention she has the best Jamaican food I

have ever tasted? All I can say is I may be

addicted now and stopping in every week!

So, you are known as a “staple” in the

Rochester community having started

your business in 2001 in the heart of

the city of Rochester. Tell our readers

a little bit about Evangela “Van”

Stanley and you how this all started.

Thanks for the huge compliment from

the community. Being called a “staple”

is truly more than I could have ever

hoped for. Evangela “Van” Stanley

(me) is a single mother of a 20-yearold

son Egypt, a business owner, a

people’s peron. After graduating from

East High School, I achieved went to

Bryant & Straton College for two years.

I have always had a love for customer

service and people; I worked for UPS for

five years, Strong Memorial

Hospital for three years, and

also worked for Xerox for

another four years as well.

All my major jobs were based

in customer service for large

corporations with high traffic.

What made you decide

to open the People’s

Choice Kitchen? Where

did you come up with the

name for the restaurant?

I decided to open up a

Caribbean Restaurant after

numerous requests and pleads

after friends and family would

see and taste my fiancé’s

island food. My fiancé grew

up watching and helping

his mother in her restaurant

back in sweet Jamaica.

I still laugh about the story

behind finding the name

for the restaurant “People’s

Choice Kitchen”. We were

inspired after watching the movie “Shaft

“. My fiancé loved the character Peoples

Hernandez. So, that is where People’s

choice came in. It just seemed to fit.

Tell us about what it was like

starting a business 20 years

ago as a minority female.

Starting a restaurant in 2001 was

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“I honestly don’t believe I

would change anything

about my career path.

I have learned so much

along the way and the

good out weighs the

bad.”


{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }

“I still laugh about the story behind finding the name for the restaurant “People’s Choice

Kitchen”. We were inspired after watching the movie “Shaft”. My fiancé loved the

character Peoples Hernandez.”

very exciting but also nerve racking

because we were warned it was

extremely hard work. I took a couple

of business classes in college, but now

I was going into uncharted territory.

What has been your key to successfully

being in business for two decades?

I believe the key to my success

was growing up in a house with

a father that was a very hardworking

man that instilled in

us integrity, family values and

dedication and a praying mother.

What is your restaurant’s

specialty? What are you known

for?

My specialty at “People’s Choice

is my jerk chicken; however,

my restaurant is also known

for our famous “Jerk Chicken

Salad. It also allows you to be

bad and eat healthy at the same

time. Many of my clients shared

with me that our Jerk Chicken

Salad tastes better here at the

restaurant than back in the

islands of Jamaica. We take

each herb and spice seriously.

What made you decide

to focus on Jamaican

food at the People’s Kitchen?

This is a very easy question for me;

I decided on Jamaican food because

my fiancé was born and raised in

sweet Jamaica. When he arrived in

the United States, he brought along

all of his mother’s secret recipes

with him from her restaurant.

As a business owner, what would

you say are your top priorities for

both your personally and business?

Some of my top rituals and priorities for

myself are to always be considerate of

other people’s time; being punctual and

reliable is a must for me. Consistency is

also a must for a restaurant business and

being friendly should come naturally.

How have you marketed your business

during the pandemic, and which avenues

have you found to be most successful?

Keeping my restaurant in the forefront

in a competitive market keeps me in

the lab while others are sleeping or

traveling. I am continually re-investing

back into the restaurant. I constantly

try to come up with creative ways to

give back to my community. I love

the response from using different radio

stations and social media to captivate

different types of people’s attention.

Tell us about one event that has

happened in your life that has

changed you and why.

This question is a little more

challenging and very personal to

my clients, family and myself; I

am a survivor of an armed robbery

at my restaurant and now dealing

with a very broken system. I hope

no other business owner has to

experience that violating feeling,

which motivated me to give back

even more. The outpour from the

community was surreal. Since then,

we had to change and upgrade

our system to some state-of-theart

equipment inside and out.

If you had the chance to start your

career over again, would you do

anything differently and why?

I honestly don’t believe I would

change anything about my

career path. I have learned so

much along the way and the

good out weighs the bad. I have

overcome challenges that did not

seem possible, but my strong

faith and belief system carried me

through many storms. I will never let

me circumstance define my destiny.

Who has been your greatest inspiration?

This question brings a huge smile across

my face because my greatest inspiration

happens to be my beautiful and sweet

mother. “My mother has taught me to

walk by faith and not by sight.”

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“My specialty at “People’s Choice is my jerk chicken; however, my restaurant is known for

our famous “Jerk Chicken Salad, it also allows you to be bad and eat healthy at the same

time.”

What is one thing that

you feel defines success?

Success for me is knowing God is in

the mix and allowing others to see

and witness the same joy so they too

can pass it forward to someone else.

Success for me and my fiancé was to

build a strong foundation for our son

by leaving him a legacy. But it was also

breaking strong generational holds by

passing on health and wealth to

the next generation to follow.

Tell us about “Soccer Sam

Fantauzzo” and how you were

able to get your sauces into

Rochester’s famous Salvatore’s

Old Fashioned Pizzeria’s.

I thank God, and I’m grateful

for Soccer Sam listening to Bob

Lonsberry live talk radio show.

Once he heard Bob mention how

excellent our famous jerk sauce

taste on Bob’s show; Soccer Sam

reached out to me and indicated

that he strongly believed my

jerk sauce would be great at his

Salvatore Pizzeria’s, which brought

music to my ears. I am so glad

he was tuned into Bob’s show

that day to hear about People’s

Choice Kitchen. The rest is history!

Where do you see your

business 5 and 10 years from

now? Any plans to franchise?

My 5-year plan consists of me opening

another restaurant on the East side of

the city where I was born and raised.

I would also love to add more stores

to carry my jerk sauces. My 10-year

plan is to successfully train my son

for the full operation so that I can

confidently transition the business to

him. As far as franchising goes, I have

mentioned it to my sister in Florida

for many years. I would definitely

continue to entertain those thoughts.

Do you think being a minority has

helped or hindered you in business?

Being a minority business owner

definitely has not hindered me all. I have

successfully operated my restaurant for

20 years in the inner city. My clientele

comes from all types of backgrounds

and we treat them all the same.

What is one thing you have done that

not many people know about you?

I enjoy going into the malls to see

who I could randomly bless that day. I

generally look for teenagers that I would

offer to pay their bill or tell them to

pick out more items so I could pay for

them; the look on their faces is priceless.

What is one piece of advice

you have been giving that has

helped shape who you are?

I received a lot of advice from my mother.

We have a very close and strong bond

together. I cherish all of her strong

values and most importantly,

her advice to us to always

put God first and he will

lead me down the right path.

What would be one

word to describe you?

If I had one word to choose to

describe myself; it would be

“compassionate.” I truly love to

encourage and see others happy.

Has the pandemic helped

or hindered your business?

How have you had to pivot

to keep business going?

Like so many other businesses

and especially restaurants, we

took a hard hit too. We are still

feeling the pandemic’s impact,

but we are so grateful we did

not lose any family members

or customers to Covid-19.

We are thankful for our loyal

customers continuing to support my

business and helping us keep the doors

open so we can also bless others to pay

what they can afford.

What would be one bit of advice

you would give to young women

wanting to start their own restaurant

business?

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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }

“Success for me and my fiancé was to build a strong foundation for our son by leaving a

legacy for Egypt and also by breaking generational strong holds by passing on health and

wealth to the next generation to follow.”

The advice I would share with a young

woman would be to invest in their future

and love what you do but most of all

stay determined and focus. You have to

be passionate about your business this

might sound easy, but it is so important

to be a people-person is just how it goes

in order to succeed.

What is the most favorite thing about

what you do?

My favorite thing I enjoy doing in my

business is opening a customer’s tray in

front of them and allowing the herbs and

spices to speak for themselves. I love to

witness the expressions and excitement

of their face when they see their food.

It brings great satisfaction to me

What is the most favorite thing about

what you do?

My favorite thing I enjoy doing in my

business is opening a customer’s tray in

front of them and allowing the herbs and

spices to speak for themselves. I love to

witness the expressions and excitement

of their face when they see their food. It

brings great satisfaction to me.

Other side notes...

I forgot to mention that if it wasn’t for

Soccer Sam, Palmer’s Market,, Bob

Lonsberry, and Boss Sauce I wouldn’t

have been able to feed 200 people for

Thanksgiving for free.

Plus, my Angel Tree during the holidays,

we were able to provide over 200 toys

to kids in need thanks to Soccer Sam

and his generosity.

I also do something called Sisters

Giving Smiles. I reached out to several

salon owners, to pamper women from

Alternative for Battered Women and I

catered the food.

Van also works a lot with domestic

violence organizations and victims.

When I asked why, she said, “ My

oldest sister Sandra Stanley whom has

passed away. She suffered many years

of abuse from her boyfriend. He once

pushed her through a glass window at a

hotel. Surgeons donated their services to

reconstruct her face. That’s one reason I

enjoyed giving back to battered women.

I received several proclamations giving

back for this cause and I will continue

to do anything I can to help.”


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WHO IS KRISTIE STUMPF

RORK?

BY KRISTIE STUMPF RORK

She is a 50-year-old Writer, Curve

model, and Social Media influencer

who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer

in November 2020. She moved from

New Hampshire back her hometown

of Cape Vincent, New York in the

fall of 2019 to help care for family.

She lives with her husband in a large

farmhouse next door to her parent’s

home and farmland. Together, they

have two beautiful scientific

miracles, one born by IVF

and the other FET, as well as

an adopted rescue dog, and

three cats.

“Cancer During COVID-19:

This is My Fight Song.”

“Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion.”

Early morning, November

18th, I sat alone in an

examination room at the

Women’s Wellness and Breast

Care Center in Watertown, New

York. Months of mammograms,

MRI’s and a biopsy had led to this

moment. I told myself I was prepared

for whatever the outcome. And then

my doctor and her nurse walked into

the room.

My doctor wasted no time getting

to the point of the appointment. I

had cancer.

I was wrong, I was not ready and felt

myself slowly disappear inside my

brain. As she discussed the type of

cancer I had, the stage, the treatments,

all I could think about was if someone

were there with me, to hold my

hand, to wrap me in their arms. As

the tears streamed down my cheeks,

my doctor asked her nurse to fetch

me some tissues. She returned with

a small box, hard, and cold in my

hands, with crisp, starchy tissues.

As I continued to try to make sense

of what my doctor was telling me,

I kept thinking of the box in my

hands and how it was like the whole

experience: cold, hard, crisp. That box

of tissues provided me no comfort.

For twelve months, individuals

across the country have sat alone in

examination rooms, like me, hearing

the devastating news that they have

cancer, while no loved one is there

to hold their hand or wrap them in

their arms.

These cancer patients have been

abandoned in the front of hospitals,

as ordered by COVID restrictions

to walk in alone where they will face

life altering surgeries without their

loving family and friends. Then no

loved one is there to see them

when they get out of surgery

or sit with them as they recover

in their hospital room.

These cancer patients have been

dropped off at their radiation

and chemo appointments

with a wave and well wishes

like students in front of an

elementary school; however,

instead of a crowded school, it

is more like a prison and their

time there is spent in solitary.

“And all those things I didn’t say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this

time?”

Navigating this cancer journey

through the COVID shackles

since November has been difficult;

however, when I think about the

hundreds of thousands of cancer

patients throughout the nation that

have had to endure appointments,

procedures, surgeries, and treatments

alone and in isolation due to the

Pandemic, it breaks my heart!

Emotional and physical support are

important components of recovering

from cancer! I want the world to

know that cancer patients NEED

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“Emotional and physical support are important components of recovering from cancer! I

want the world to know that cancer patients NEED emotional support!”

emotional support! I want to shout

it from rooftops, rattle the chains,

stomp on the floorboards, and make

some noise! It has become my FIGHT

SONG!

Emotional support is not just wanted

during a cancer patient’s revelations,

biopsies, surgeries, procedures,

and treatments, it is a necessity! A

fundamental component of a person’s

well-being is their emotional, social

support, and mental health. If a

person’s emotional well-being is

supported, that resilience and positive

emotions help in the healing process.

According to Cure.com, the initial

reaction to a cancer diagnosis is often

shock and disbelief, followed by a

period of distress characterized by

mixed symptoms of anxiety, anger

and depression. Huh?! And for the

past 12 months, cancer patients like

me, have had no one to share that

initial reaction with due to COVID

restraints. Let alone the following

months of appointments, surgeries,

and treatments!

I found it validating that the American

Cancer Society agrees with me! In

their article, “Nurture Your Emotional

Health: Coping with Anxiety During

the Coronavirus Outbreak, published

at the cusp of the Pandemic, they

stated that cancer patients “need to

take care of their emotional and mental

well-being.” They suggest “keeping a

good outlook, getting plenty of sleep,

and trying new recipes.”

But…wait!

Myself, as well as the other cancer

warriors that I have been fighting

alongside, are not and were not

comforted by a good night sleep

when we learned of our diagnosis or

by trying a new recipe before being

dropped off for treatments. The

emotional support that we crave, and

need is physical. It is the gentle touch

on the shoulder letting us know that

we are supported and loved, or the

hand holding ours when we just do

not want to feel so alone.

“This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I’m alright song

My powers turned on

Starting right now I’ll be strong

I’ll play my fight song

And I don’t really care if nobody else

believes

Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left

in me!”

Like the lyrics to Rachel Platten’s

“Fight Song” “I might only have one

match, but I can make an explosion.”

I have made it my mission to share

my story and the story of all cancer

patients during COVID. If enough

people can hear our voice then we

can make a difference, we can make

a change, we can get the emotional

support that is so necessary in the

healing of our fellow warriors.

“Can you hear my voice this time?”

I am petitioning the CDC to

CHANGE the COVID-19 Healthcare

Plan and make an amendment for

Cancer Patients that allows for either

a person to accompany them to

appointments and hospitalizations or

the creation of a healthcare companion

that would do the same, to maintain

and support the emotional well-being

of the patient which would ultimately

improve their recovery.

Sign the petition: http://chng.it/

X9BTVsddxV

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STARTING AT

$199

INFLUENTIALWOMANONLINE.COM


SPECIAL

INSERT

WOMEN

OWNED

BUSINESSES

MEET

Lam Hoang My ( Amy Hoang)

FOUNDER OF GOLDEN

WORLD GROUP, LLC


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I’M READY TO MAKE YOUR VISION COME TRUE!


{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS }

LAM HOANG MY

YOU ( AMY ARE HOANG) ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Amy Hoang is the founder of Golden

World Magazine and she holds multiple

positions under the Golden World Group

LLC, which includes the Golden Sea

Corporation, Golden World Beauty

Pageant, Golden Agarwood Jewelry,

& Golden Health and Beauty Supply.

She has been featured on the covers of

Malvie Magazine and Gmaro Magazine.

Also, she has been published in Vigour

Magazine, Edith Magazine, Illumee

Magazine, and many

other publications

in Vietnam. Amy

Hoang is an

ambitious, successful

businesswoman who is

a passionate innovator

in the fashion, beauty

and entertainment

industries. She uses

her artistic talent

as a fashionista to

promote luxurious

couture, while

leading a resplendent

lifestyle exemplified by

adventure, elegance,

and altruism.

Amy Hoang is a

poised, graceful entrepreneur who

is intelligent, empathetic, and openminded.

She is an eloquent speaker who

leverages her superb communication

skills to build strong networks in the

entertainment industry and to promote

her philanthropic pursuits, especially

during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Under Amy Hoang’s leadership, Golden

Health Supply provided high-quality

medical equipment to customers in the

U.S. and internationally. Specifically, her

company provided many antibacterial

mask products to help protect people

from COVID-19 spread. Furthermore,

the Golden World group kicked off 2021

by donating masks to people in the city

of Stanton, Southern California. Her

organization handed out over 25,000

boxes of medical masks and hand sanitizer

to people in need.

Amy Hoang is a generous and

compassionate humanitarian who donates

to a variety of charitable causes. Several

of these causes include: The Golden

World Group Charity Foundation,

Shriners Hospitals for Children, “Pray For

Vietnam” initiative to help flood victims,

American Cancer Society, environmental

preservation of the oceans, and retired

military veterans in Massachusetts.

In addition, her organization focuses

on helping vulnerable, impoverished

women and children throughout the

world. She constantly gives back to her

Vietnamese community and artists. The

Golden World Group will help bring

the blockbuster, Vietnamese movie

“Sam Hoi” to the U.S. to reach a larger

audience. Moreover, Amy Hoang believes

that it is important to celebrate diversity

using her Golden World platforms to

promote inclusion and cultural awareness.

She is committed to embracing diversity

in the entertainment world. As the

CEO of the Golden

World Beauty

Pageants, she brings

together creatives and

contestants from

various cultures and

nationalities, such

as the Ms. Golden

World events from

2017 to present and

Ms. Golden Sea

Pageant in 2019.

As the first runnerup

of Ms. Vietnam

International

Pageant 2015, she

wanted to create an

inclusive pageant that

welcomes all men

and women. Her

pageant emphasizes the importance of

individuals who have heart and passion

for their communities. Amy Hoang’s

radiant, cheerful personality inspires

others to see their own beauty and to

make a meaningful difference in the

world. She believes that acknowledging

and honoring cultural diversity will lead

to the creation of global citizens who are

dedicated to making positive changes in

their communities and abroad.

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“Amy Hoang is an

ambitious, successful

businesswoman who is

a passionate innovator

in the fashion, beauty

and entertainment

industries.”


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“Amy Hoang’s vision of inclusivity inspired the creation of the Golden World Magazine.”

Amy Hoang’s vision of inclusivity

inspired the creation of the Golden

World Magazine. The magazine provides

a unique opportunity for designers,

photographers, models and artists

from various cultural backgrounds to

showcase their work to a larger audience.

Additionally, this magazine will celebrate

the creative teams and models who

participated in the Golden World Beauty

Pageants. It will commemorate the

tremendous effort, time and diligence

required to organize and to coordinate

unforgettable beauty pageant events. Amy

Hoang aims to inspire and to encourage

other young talent organizations to

submit their work for future publications

in order to cultivate an international

creative community.

As a brilliant female CEO, Amy Hoang

has successfully navigated the challenges

of 2020 while changing business strategies

to suit the times. She is optimistic that

the future will be prosperous for the

Golden World LLC with several major

projects and collaborations currently

under way. One of her company’s most

important mottos is “Understanding

- Loving - Caring – Sharing,” which

continues to influence her progress

into 2021. Amy Hoang is not only an

immensely gifted businesswoman and

trendsetter in fashion, but a selfless

leader devoted to diversity, inclusion,

and philanthropy.

Tell our audience about yourself and

where you are from.

My name is My Lam Diem Hoang

kwown as Lam Hoàng My. I was born

in Vietname and and graduated from

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“ I love learning and sharing. I love to learn what I dont know and share what I do

know .”

the University of Tourism in VN.I moved

too the US at the age of 20. I am the

present CEO of Golden World Beauty

/ CEO OF Golden Sea International

/ chair women /Founder of Golden

World Group Inc Charity foundation

Co founder / owner of Golden

Health Supply, the CEO at BOMOI

Entertainment and the Owner of Beauty

Times Salon and Spa.

What got you into the pageant world?

I love learning and

sharing. I love to learn

what I dont know and

share what I do know .

Promotion of a platform

is a big one for me too.

Being passionate about

a cause and entering a

pageant is a great way

to share your platform

and your enthusiasm

for something that you

strongly believe in.

How did you become

CEO of Golden World

Group/ Founder of

Miss Golden World

/ Miss & Mr Golden

Sea International?

I love beauty and feeling beautiful.

Making other confident in thier own

skin. Beauty is from the inside out.

Working on charity work , giving back

to the society all helped me to become

CEO. I am a good leader . I lead the

company in the right direction . I help

people reach their goals, and I am not

afraid to hire people that are better

than me, ass long as they are good for

the company. I look out for others not

just my own benefits.

I love that the Golden World Group

is about helping children in need,

empowering women, understanding,

caring and helping others. What made

you start the organization with this

mission?

Children are our first priority. They

are the future of the world. Being a

minority woman, Ideaply understand

the difficulties that women in Asia and

in general arefacing. Racism, funding

security, lack of capital, family, children

and the list goes on.I can see myself in

that world. So I am doing my best for

myself and for others . Giving back is

a beautiful action. The world needs it.

Understanding, caring, loving and

sharing is who I am. I just want to be

able to help as many people as I can.

It seems that you are really a true

woman entrepreneur. Can you tell us

about your other businesses?

I loved doing business when I was a little

girl. I helped my mom to manage her

store after school. Growing up with that

business mind, I can see opportunities

everywhere. I Graduated from Bay Bath

University for International Business and

this was really the start of my crazy life.

Long story short, our company has

grown very large in different fields:

like real estate, import/ export, sea food

meat, the Entertainment

industry :and more. We

host two Pageants every

year as well. I am also

a special event planner.

Plus, we help people

in the fashion industry

eith raising capital for

investment. We Supply

PPE products in big

quantities.

What gave you the

courage to start your

own businesses?

I really dont know what

one thing made me start

my business ( insert laugh

here). I born for this.

My passion is working

and making others happy.

What is your current reigning status?

How long have you been competing?

I competed once 6 years a go and didn’t

win, but I was a first runner up. I am

short and petite, so maybe that was the

reason why I couldn’t touch that crown.

So, I said to myself, if I cant not win

that crown for myself I will make myself

the director of a pageant and lay it on

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“ My favorite part of my job is seeing our contestants shine, gain confidence, lead them to

other opportunities, and open their doors to the world.”

others with special criteria for petite,

but smart women like me to shine even

if it was only once in their life.

What is your favorite part

about being in the pageants?

What about coordinating

the pageants?

My favorite part of my job is

seeing our contestants shine,

gain confidence, lead them

to other opportunities, and

open their doors to the world.

Coordinating a pageant is

not easy, especially if it is an

international one like Golden

World Beauty Pageant. We

welcome all races, ages,

nationalities, different

backgrounds , different level

sof education, different shapes

and sizes. We all unite on

one platform to compte, to

learn, to share, and to love

each other.

Who has been your biggest

influence?

Oprah Winfrey is my biggest

influence. I read about her,

listen to her, and my goal is to

sit with her on her TV show

one day. I want to talk and

share everything with her.

Who has been the biggest

success story to come from

the Golden World Pageants?

On the younger side we have

Jacqueline Paras, Miss Golden World

2018 . She is from the Philippinesand

she is now a great face in the NY fashion

industry. She is a great model, singer

and dancer. She goes a long with the

Golden World Group in all of our

charity works.

For the more mature ladies, we have

two that have had great success in their

career.The first is Mrs Annie K Nguyễn

who was crowned Mrs Golden Sea

International in NY in 2018. She just

successfuly singed a multi-millions

dollar PPE contract for Golden Sea

Corporation. Then, we have Mrs Golden

World Entrepreneur 2019

Ninh Nguyen who is very

well known in Los Angeles,

California for her chain

PHO FILET. She is making

million now in income and

is very successful. Both of

them are representatives for

the Golden World Group

501C3 charity foundation.

What do you look for

in contestants for the

pageant? What about

for the winners?

We are more strict on

contestants for Miss

pageants then the others.

They have to meet the

requirements: beauty,

education, community

work , personally, height,

weight, and even family

background is checked.

For Ms and Mrs contestants

we look for the background,

personally, education,

and their passion. Most

important is their goal

in what do they want to

achieve.

For the winner of Miss

they need to meet all the

requirements to be the best. Ms/Mrs: is

more about their great achievements in

life, and something for others to learn

and follow.

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“ Yes, we got hit really hard with the pandamic. We had to make several changes in order

to rescue our business.”

Have you had to make any changes

during the pandemic to how you

run the pageants?

Yes, we got hit really hard with the

pandamic. We had to make several

changes in order to

rescue our business.

We are making PPE

products, doing virtual

shows, zoom shows, and

even got creative with

a livestream talk show.

Where did you get your

education, and what

did you major in?

I was graduated in VN

for my first 4 years

degree in Tourism. Then

I moved to the US and

continued my education

at Springfield Technical

Community College

and graduated from

Bay Bath University

in Longeadow, MA six

years later.

Who has been the most

influential in helping

your career?

That would definitely

be my mom. She is my

best friend ever.

What do you have

planned for 2021?

The coming back of

the Miss Gokden Sea

International 2021,

Miss Golden World Beauty Pageant

2021and the Golden Legendary

special Award.

What is the one thing you cannot

live without when competing?

You can’t do anything without

confidence.

Who has been your favorite designer

to work with and why?

KhangLe and Jacky Tai because

they are so creative, have a unique

fashion style and are so amazing to

work with.

What do you think is the one quality

that makes you a lady boss?

+ being a people person

+ hard working

+ willing to learn

+ confident

+ understanding

If you could use one word

to describe yourself what

would it be?

Sweet but tough.

If you had one piece of

advice to someone just

starting out, what would

it be?

My best advise to everyone

would be to be yourself, be

passionate, start while you

are still employed, don’t

do it alone, get your clients

and customers lined up,

and most importantly have

a business plan in place.

Make sure to do your

research before jumping

in and get professional

help. Have a dream, dream

big and work hard and be

patient because success

never comes that easy.

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“Have a dream, dream big and work hard and be patient because success never comes

that easy.”

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS }

RUMELLA “LA DIVA”

CAMERON

PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER “GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL

Please give a warm welcome to the

latest She Hustles Talks cover woman,

the “Diva” herself, Rumella Cameron.

So you are a professional wrestler, a real

estate agent, and a business owner of

Conversance Business Solutions LLC.

Plus, you are a mother. Tell our readers

a little bit about Rumella “LaDiva”

Cameron and your background.

My name is Rumella

Cameron. I am a mother of

3, the CEO of Conversance

Business Solutions, a real

estate agent, and I am a

community activist, where

I served as the town leader

in a political committee.

Which of your 3

professions came first?

I actually started wresting

in 2007. Two years out

of high school, I began

to pursue my wrestling

career. I then started my

business in 2015, and I

became a licensed real estate

agent last January 2020.

Tell us about being a

professional wrestler. How did you

start? What made you want to do

something like that?

What got me interested in wrestling, my

family and I would sit around the tv on

Monday nights and watch it together.

WWE, formally known as WWF during

the Attitude Era was the best. I would

see superstars such as the Rock, Lita

& and the Hardy Boys, and Chyna.

I thought it was cool. One day I was

watching tv and saw a buddy of mines

on a local channel wrestling. I called

the network to get in touch with the

promoter, and that’s how I got started. I

signed up for training a few weeks later.

Where did the wrestling name and

persona “La Diva” come from?

My wrestling persona is like my alter ego

lol. She’s fierce and takes no mess from

anyone. I have high standards, so LaDiva,

which means The Diva transpired. In

the ring, I am the heal, which in better

terms, the villain. I love playing the bad

girls. Brains, beauty, and brutality is my

tagline. Being the only female wrestler in

Upstate NY and becoming the women’s

champion in just a few promotions on

the east coast and in Canada, I was that

chic. The majority of my opponents

were men. So I had no issue going toe

to toe with the guys. Hey, why not?

What made you decide to start your

own business and become a female

entrepreneur in Real Estate and

Conversance Business Solutions?

I follow and a lot of

successful entrepreneurs

and business owners.

Success millionaires say the

key to success is to have

seven streams of income.

I whole-heartily believe in

that. You can’t always rely

on a basket, and you should

never put all your eggs in

one basket. But I do this

strategically, of course.

There’s only so much time

in a day. But I was ready

to go on my own and be

on my boss. I founded

Conversance in 2015,

serving small to mid-sized

businesses nationally,

providing administrative

support and business

strategies. What got me

into real estate, one of our clients was

building their team, and we helped

streamlined their processes and systems,

and it just grew from there. Why not

get into real estate. Real estate is the

best way to make investments and build

up your financial portfolio.

What made you decide to start

Conversance, and what is its mission?


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“ I love playing the bad girls. Brains, beauty, and brutality is my tagline. ”

Our mission is to be the top virtual

assistant firm in the US, providing

administrative support and business

services to small and medium businesses

that are either starting up or expanding.

Not too many entrepreneurs have the

resources to hire a team, and we provide

one at a fraction of the cost. We help

with business planning, executing the

plan, and building up your team to

help you be successful in your business.

As a business owner, what would you say

are your top priorities for both yourself

in the business and also for your clients?

My top priorities are business

development, sales, and client retention.

I spend the majority of my time

finding ways to be a resource to our

clients and how we can help them

grow their business. Their success is

ours. Lead generation is a daily task.

How do you market your

business, and which tactics have

you found to be most successful,

especially during a pandemic?

I market my business by networking

with other businesses, introducing

myself, setting up meetings, reaching out

via social media, and cold calling. The

most effective way we gain new clients is

through reaching out on LinkedIn and

following up with cold-calls and emails.

Sometimes I would try snail mail, but

that didn’t bring much success. The direct

interactions have been very successful.

What was your key driving force

to become a real estate agent?

The funny thing is, I love Millionaire

Dollar Listing NY and I have been

following Ryan Serhant for many years.

Although the real estate market is not

the same as it is in NYC or LA, I’ve

learned so much that I have applied to

my own real estate business. Another

reason why I got into real estate is

much bigger than me. Some people

believe that they are not able to achieve

buying a home, and I am changing

that narrative. Everyone should be able

to qualify for a home, understand the

home buying process, and know there

are grants and resources available to

them. So I work with buyers and educate

them on this. It makes me happy to

get a buyer into their new or even first

home. We are on the journey together.

If you had the chance to start your

career over again, would you do

anything differently and why?

No, every failure leads to success.

In failing, you learn a lesson. My

path is mine to take and made

me into the person I am today.

What would you say are the top

three skills needed to be successful as

both a professional female wrestler

and a female business owner?

Top 3 skills would be perseverance,

determination, and patience.

Who has been your greatest inspiration?

My greatest inspiration has been the

many women before me that went

through struggles to carve a path for

themselves and generations later. Mostly,

my mother and grandmother. Strong

black women who did everything on

their own to provide and take care of

their families. I wanted to prove to

them that their hard work and the

life they have provided weren’t in vain.

How do you define success?

Success means many things to many

people. What success means to me

and that I am surrounded by people

who love and support me. Success

to me is knowing that somehow I

have inspired someone and/or made

some type of impact on them.

Do you spend more time lighting

fires or putting them out?

That’s a great question. I believe I

am the fire. But I am really good

at putting them out. What defines

a person is how they can pressure.

Tell our audience what

makes you a hustler...

Hustler is my middle name. What

makes me a hustler is that no matter

what life throws my way I always find a

way to maneuver and get to my goals.

Where do you see your businesses a

year from now? What about 5 and

10 years? Will you still be wrestling?

In a year, I see my business with a

huge team, helping businesses all

over the world and providing jobs

locally. I do plan on wrestling until

my body tells me it’s time to stop.

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“We are changing the trajectory. Black women represent 42% of new women-owned

businesses.”

Do you walk your talk?

Always!

Do you think being a minority has

helped or hindered you in business?

I don’t make it an issue, but I know for

sure there are systems in place to keep

us down. I don’t always get the same

opportunities as my other counterparts,

so I make the opportunity. It

honestly shouldn’t matter. I see more

opportunities coming because I am

a minority women-owned business.

We are changing the trajectory.

Black women represent 42% of

new women-owned businesses.

What is one thing you

have done that not many

people know about you?

After attending Brockport, I was

actually a Criminal Justice Major and

Business Administration and Military

Science. I was planning on going into

the Army as an officer. I decided that

wasn’t the best choice for my family. So

I decided I can still serve and did the

RPD test and passed. But of course,

life doesn’t always go as planned.

What is one piece of advice

you have been giving that has

helped shape who you are?

When I was attending Genesee

Community College, I had a professor

that I went to get advice from, and

she told me, “Your life begins the

moment you step outside your comfort

zone.” She was right. Each year I find

a way to push myself to the next level.

Of your 3 VERY different career choices,

which has been your favorite and why?

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“I really feel as though the pandemic has helped my business. With companies going

virtual, we were able to shine during this time by providing virtual assistant services. ”

Professional wrestling. When I am

in that ring, I feel alive. I feel free. I

feel at home. It’s my passion. But I

know putting my body on the line like

that is not good for my family. I have

my babies I have to come home to.

Has the pandemic

helped or hindered

your business?

I really feel as though the

pandemic has helped my

business. With companies

going virtual, we were

able to shine during this

time by providing virtual

assistant services. We’ve

been trying to show

businesses for years

the benefits of doing a

majority of the workflow

virtually and how it saves

them time and money.

The crazy thing is I started

my real estate business

right before the pandemic,

it was slow at first, but I

was able to get my first

three sales before the

end of the year. I wish

I was able to do more,

but hey, that’s what life

threw my way. Have

to make the most of it.

Do you have any

big business plans for 2021?

Well, yes I do. We are going into

year six, and we plan on doing a

huge marketing push to increase

awareness and reach more businesses.

What would you say your clients

think is your best quality?

My interpersonal communication

skills. I am to connect with my clients,

and they like that. I understand their

wants and needs and what they are

looking to accomplish, whether

they are a home buyer or a business

owner looking to grow and expand.

What does your family

think about what you do,

especially being a pro wrestler?

My kids think I am a

rock star. I don’t see it,

but everyone always tells

me how I inspire them.

That makes me happy. I am

just doing what I can and

living to my full potential.

What would be one bit of

advice you would give to

young women wanting to

start their own business?

START!!! Don’t let anyone

tell you that you can’t, or

talk you out of a decision.

Keep your eyes on the prize,

do what makes you happy

and live your life.

Make-up: Lamany

Chanthavong

Hair: Quanda Weaver

Stylist: Latrice Brown

Vyntage Junkie

Skin care & Creative

Director: Vaughan Pinckney

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ANGELA TEWA

My name is Angela Tewa, a 26-year-old

New York City native currently living

in Western New York. I have grown

to be a woman of many hats. I am a

proud boy mom of a precious oneyear-old

son, associate’s and bachelors

degree holder in Criminal Justice,

and I graduate with my master’s

degree in Social Work from the

University at Buffalo this May

of 2021. I also intern with the

NYS Department of Parole.

Throughout my entire graduate

program, I have been working

as a caseworker and skill builder

in child welfare for at risk youth

and families in the system. I have

recently resigned to dedicate my

undivided attention and focus

in school while preparing for

post graduation.

I am incredibly ardent in

my line of work in the field.

That is one thing that I’m

sure will never change is my

human rights perspectives,

my compassion for people,

and my genuine heart to help.

In 2016, I took up a modeling

offer and had not stopped since.

Many people have asked me,

“Why didn’t you make it into

a business earlier?” I’ve always

loved being in front of the camera,

but telling stories and creating art

through my pictures is such a fulfilling

and inspirational deed to me. I’ve

always had full-time work, money

was never a motive, and no matter

how many paid gigs I get, it never

will be. It is my passion, and it is my

self-care. Of course, after leaving a

full-time job, yeah, it was time to

cut down on so many collaborative

projects. After all, I think I got quite

a few years of building my craft and

gaining experience in so many different

aspects of the industry to be able to

take the following steps. Still, up to

this day, I love being active in the

community, helping others create,

helping others get experience and

genuinely networking and making

friends with like-minded individuals.

What started off as a hobby then

became a serious passion and money

maker. I have been blessed with

many opportunities such as runway,

modeling for local brands, freelance

photography, music videos, and extra

roles in popular series such

as Orange Is The New Black

and SVU: Law and Order.

I have gotten questions

about the possible conflict

of modeling and my career

in criminal justice/social

work. Now, as I am about to

graduate with my master’s,

my goal is to use my platform

to advocate for human rights

and combine the two!

The climate that we are in

in this country is intense

on all levels, especially

with the black lives matter

movement, racism, police

brutality, LGBTQ+ justice,

gender inequality and the

list goes on. I think it would

be pretty negligent of me as

a young black woman and

black mother of a black son,

to just continue to take pretty

pictures, and that’s it. I’m

not just a pretty face.

There’s purpose behind my choices

as a creative. There are so many

ways that I have utilized my “social

media presence” and will continue

to, to speak out against issues and

speak for those who never got the

chance to or who simply can’t.

Signing petitions, sharing stories,

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“I’ve always had full-time work, money was never a motive, and no matter how many

paid gigs I get, it never will be.”

voting, getting involved in black lives

matter campaigns, supporting black

businesses, having those difficult

conversations with others, simply

telling someone, it is not enough to not

just be racist, you have to be constantly

anti-racist, so on and so forth.

Be sure to check out and like, if you’re

feeling generous, my modeling business

page on Facebook, AngelaTewa, if

you’d like to book me as a model

for any commercial brands, creative

portraits, videos, etc other modeling

projects. You can also check me out

on Instagram at @princesa_angiee

to see all of my cool creations and

also subscribe to my new YouTube

channel that documents my modeling

life, called “Off The Record”.


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MIND. BODY. META.

BY MO SHANTY

Tell us about yourself and what made

you start Mind. Body. Meta...

I began a different organic skincare

business about 10 years ago in Auburn

and I really fell in love with the holistic

side of skincare then. I had taken

schooling in Herbalism and Organic

Chemistry in my training leading up

to getting my Esthetics license. I started

making my own skincare in 2013,

taking all that I knew and fell in love.

It was at that point that I realized that

I didn’t want to work for anyone else

in this arena. And it was all going very

well. There was a point in my life where

things were rock bottom. I could not

figure how to right myself and I was

emotionally damaged. I sought out

a talk therapy approach and leaned

very heavily into Cognitive Behavioral

Therapy. It really helped me develop

better coping skills and recognize

the areas I still needed work. That

pulled me in the direction of seeking

my own certification in Cognitive

Behavioral Therapy which I did in

2018. Creating MindBodyMeta was

a no-brainer to begin. If you’re truly

setting out to help others take care

of their own whole body and being,

we’re really missing the point if we’re

only coming part way. Skincare is my

passion, emotional intelligence and

stability is my passion and herbalism

and aromatherapy are two things that

helped me sustain myself through some

of the most difficult times in my life.

I’d be silly not to offer that amount of

well-being to my clients.

I know The Pali word Mettā means

benevolence or goodwill and loving

kindness. How did you decide on this

as part of your business name?

That’s so interesting! I’ve never known

that! Ha! Actually, it’s just a shortened

version of the word, Metaphysical. I’ve

been a solitary practitioner of Herbalism,

Tarot and Brujeria since I was about

13. It’s been part of my life for over 30

years and the marriage of Tarot and Talk

Therapy was one the most wonderful

assets to my growth. I wanted to be an

educational resource in Metaphysics,

addressing the many variations and

ways people can be more spiritual. And

spirituality is so individual, it’s important

to understand what will work best for

you in that journey.

What made you decide to start your

own business?

Honestly, I didn’t like working for other

people that weren’t truly invested in

me. I really detest micromanaging. I do

enough of that to myself, I don’t need it

piled on. But the main reason is because

I don’t think I’ll ever find a business or

corporation as unique as mine where I

would be happy. Marrying facial and

bodycare with an herbal apothecary as

well as a mental health talk therapy

office seems like too much of an

amalgamation, doesn’t it? But it works

so well and seamless here.

What is your favorite part of doing

what you do?

Wow, hmm, really all of it. I make 80

out the 87 products that are sold on

my shelves. That’s really the beauty

of it. I get to put my energy, my hope

and my expertise into everything that

touches a client. I love Skincare and

Histology and the Therapy. It’s so

hard to choose.

What types of services do you offer

and what makes you different from

other service providers?

Firstly, we offer skincare services like

waxing, facials and body treatments.

All products used are made by me,

so I can stand firmly behind them

with the knowledge that they do

what they say they’re going to as well

as knowing each and every ingredient.

I’ve also taken extensive continuing

education in Oncology Esthetics and

a heavy concentration on Melanated

Skin, which is hard to come by in this

area unfortunately. There are so many

talented Estheticians of color. Seek them

out. We offer Lash Services, especially

for Sensitive Eyes, Cognitive Behavioral

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“If you’re truly setting out to help others take care of their own whole body and being,

we’re really missing the point if we’re only coming part way.”

Therapy and a Women’s Educational and

Healing Roundtable called Women&

which focuses on healing through many

of the issues Women face like Trauma,

Stress, Sexuality and Societal Expectations.

I love doing Tea and Tarot on Thursdays

as well. I also run a Women in Horror

night at the studio where women who

love a good scary movie get to sit, watch,

hang and eat some really great snacks.

Another plate I spin is being a Horror

Screenwriter so it’s let’s me flex that

muscle and really enjoy it.

What is mental health talk therapy?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy especially

is a problem-solving therapy. Most folks

that do well in CBT are that feel stuck

in distress or bad behavioral patterns

that they adapted to, those behaviors

turn into negative, harsh, and extreme

thinking patterns. When we really

dissect those patterns, we discover that

there are inaccuracies or distortions. In

CBT, I teach clients to identify their

negative thoughts and how to replace

them with more accurate, adaptive,

and helpful ones. It’s especially helpful

for panic attacks, social anxiety, trauma

and narcissistic recovery, and those

stuck in painful feelings or unhealthy

relationship patterns.

What would you say is the mission

behind Mind. Body. Meta?

To help serve the entire human being.

Mentally, emotionally, and physically

and I suppose spiritually. If you’re a

personal success but a spiritual mess

we’re your best place to achieve that.

If you’re struggling emotionally, we’re

here to help walk you through better

coping mechanisms, if you’re struggling

physically, mostly through image and

skincare, we’ve got you covered to be on

your way to honoring yourself.

Has being an entrepreneur and owning

your own business affected your family/

personal life?

It’s been a tough balance for sure, but

the rewards are well worth it. You think

that owning your own business comes

with a certain vein of independence: I

can make my own hours and I go here

and there. It’s a mix of being there for

your clientele and working long hours

to produce products, content, time for

the people that seek you out and depend

on your being there. My clients are such

a driving force to be the best I can and

my support at home is essential for my

growth. I’m an incredibly independent

person, to a fault actually, I have a need

to do everything on my own. But it’s

lovely to hear that I’m inspiring, I’m

goal oriented and I’m nurturing from

those that love me. A support system is

important. Find those that champion you.

What was your key driving force

to become a female entrepreneur

and opening a wellness center and

combining mind and body?

Really, my own experiences. I’m a

bootstrap woman and fully grown latchkey

kid. We learn to be self-reliant. But

also, as a woman, it’s tough being given

credit that you can build an empire on

your own. Metaphysics and Therapy,

Skincare and Herbalism, that’s all a part

of me. It’s helped me grow and shape

myself and when things weren’t going

in the directions they needed to, all of

that let me re-mold myself and go back

to the drawing board. And I want my

clients to know that when you step in

here, feel free to be messy. To step in

my studio unfinished, wondering, still

figuring things out because that’s the

beauty of women isn’t? We mold and

shape and ignite and ember and bring

the thunder and water new growth.

We do all that AND build empires, all

with two hands.

Are there any services that are unique

to your business?

Our Herbal Pack Facial Massage utilizing

plant extracts in a hot soak pack then

massaged into the skin followed by a

toxin drain.

For Body, our Chakra Balancing Duo:

it kicks up a LOT for people. We carry

so much disharmony in the body when

we’re stressed, it’s a real peek into what’s

really going on inside.

For Mind, our Women& Roundtable.

It’s not your average support group.

Women& is not your typical one and

done meeting, nor is it a weekly venting

session. Its learning how to successfully

work THROUGH your issues. The

work is pertinent. If you are in a place

where enough is enough and you’ve had

it with you own flip-flopping and you

need that push to move forward to a

more well-balanced life, than Women&

is for you. It’s more of a workshop and

it’s so necessary for women to know that

there is a space to do that. Sometimes

relying on your family and friends that

are tired of hearing you vent isn’t helping

you. You’ve got to move through it. I’m

here to help you achieve that.

For our Metaphysical, all of our herbal

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“Spirituality is so individual, it’s important to understand what will work best for you in

that journey. ”

herbal tincures, blends, candles, spell

and healing kits. Such an amazing array

addressing lots of spiritual needs.

Do you believe there is some sort of

pattern or formula to becoming a

successful entrepreneur?

Oh not at all. We’re all tripping forwards

and anyone who tells you they’ve got it all

figured out I’m wary of. There’s always a

pitfall, a misstep, something that legitimately

will nwever work in your business.

The only success that is tried and true

for me in knowing my “why”. I’m a

“why, why, why” person. Down to brass

tacks. It’s been essential in my movement

through the parameters my life’s path

has put me through. It also is adjacent

to my authenticity. Am I showing up

in the right ways for myself? Why not?

Is this bringing me peace? Why not?

I’m feeling some kind of way about

this por this person, why? Know your

“why”. Simon Sinek, who is one of

my favorite motivational speakers says,

“People don’t buy what you do, they buy

why you do it.” Not that I need people

to be frequent buyers, but understand

why I do what I do and hopefully that

will resonate with someone.

What has been your most satisfying

moment in business?

Recently, we were entered into “Best in

the Region – Esthetician”, it was really

surprising considering we’ve only been

open 7 months. It let me know that my

community appreciates me.

How do you build a successful customer

base?

We have customers all over the globe,

literally. You can’t sell yourself short and

just market to those that like what you

have. Let people get to know you, people

buy you, not just your products. My key

to that has been letting people know

what I do in circles that don’t involve

business. Most of my online and global

clientele has come from my friends and

colleagues in the screenwriting industry.

We’re all going through a lot of the same

things, if you’re not tapping into the fact

that you can be accessed online, you’re

missing out. Some folks are shy about

asking, be accessible, I mean ALL your

stock. It’ll be tedious but it’s so worth

it. Also markedly reaching out to your

existing base with a purpose. I tried

newsletters that never got read. Give

them something that pertains to them,

research what services and products they

purchased. Are you making something

new in extension of that or a service that

pertains to that with a discount? Make

it personal.

Tell our audience one thing they may

not know about you.

I’ve been a screenwriter for 12 years and

an EP on iTunes.

“What is your ‘why? ‘” Why do you

do what you do?

As a woman, a woman of color at that,

I don’t have the liberty of not being a

social activist. MindBodyMeta will

always fight against Racial Injustice,

Domestic Violence, Global Inequality,

LGBTQ+ Discrimination and we’ll always

champion Gender Equality, Human

Rights, Movements for Racial Justice and

Change and Mental Health Awareness.

It hasn’t made me the most popular,

especially in a caustic environment but

it’s essential to me. It’s so important to me

that my client’s feel safe and unjudged

when they walk through my door and

that’s why it’s so important to take care

of every facet of a human being. I do it

because I want to feel safe when I walk

into a well-being atmosphere. I’ve been in

places that didn’t make me feel welcome

in this industry, I don’t want anyone to

every feel like that in my “house”.

When starting your business, did you

ever ask yourself “WILL CUSTOMERS

‘WANT’ OR ‘NEED’ MY SERVICES?”

No not really. I started it with the

intention of education. If you make

people aware of the resources that are

available in your location, they will

eventually see the value in that and seek

you out. Getting that info out there is

key. You simply cannot come from “if

you build it they will come” attitude

and expect the flood gates to open.

Educate, educate, educate!

What are your plans for 2021 and

beyond?

I’m a big believer in keeping your

hard work protected. We’re currently

developing new trademarked stress relief

products for our customers. Adrenal

fatigue is commonplace now that we’re

in a flight or fight response all the time

whilst living through this pandemic and

we want to educate you on how that

can affect your body, mind and spirit

and hopefully help you calm that.

If you could write a book about yourself

what would it be titled?

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“I get to put my energy, my hope and my expertise into everything that touches a client.”

Funny enough, I currently am. It’s

called “Catch 42 and 7 Lies Little Girls

Are Told”.

What is the best piece of advise that

you have been given that has helped

you in your business?

“Know that your power will intimidate

the ones that don’t seek their own.” It’s

very easy to get caught in the loop of

wanting everyone to like you or for

them to understanding what you do

and or doing. As long as you do and

understand yourself and your mission

and can stand behind it, you have to

believe that what others say or think about

you is none of your business. Don’t let

those who don’t fully support you, tell

you your journey is wrong. And don’t

ask for directions from someone who

doesn’t care to go where you’re headed.

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...for whole body and being.

MindBodyMeta

100 Genesee Street, Ste. 11 Auburn, NY 13021 315-231-5065 www.mindbodymeta.com

We offer these services with the purpose of

challenging beliefs in reactivity and it's blockages

Mind

as well as trauma recovery to create a healthier

mindset and trust in yourself.

Women& - a safe space and educational roundtable

discussion focusing on topics that women

face. We cover stress, trauma and narcissistic

recovery, grief, gender roles, & societal

expectations.

Chakra Balancing Duo - This body treatment

focuses on blocked Chakra and clearing, deep

relaxation and guided meditation.

Guided Meditations - These can be sent to your

email every week to set you on a better journey for

health: Sleep Better, Stress Less, Reconnect, Align.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist,

Master Herbalist, Women ' s

Empowerment Counselor, Licensed

Esthetician, Card Reader

Mo Moshaty

Mo has worked with several women's

support groups across Western &

Central NY as well as Eastern New

Jersey. Her Therapy concentration is

Trauma and Narcisstic Recovery,

Mother Wound and Personal

Empowerment.

Esthetic Services, Herbal Education balance the body's central

nervous system and integumentary system. Both carry means

Body

to detoxify the body to refresh and renew on a cellular level.

Facials - Teen, Normal, Dry/Dehydrated, Sensitive, Againg,

Hormonal, Hyperpigmented

Body Treatments - Salt Glow, Mud Wrap, Chakra Balancing

Herbs, Tea and Tinctures - Choose from 30 herbs and

adaptogens in bulk.

Lash Extensions - Perfect for anyone who loves length and

fullness but no extra makeup.

*Archetype Blends Adaptogen Tea coming in April*

.

Meta

Metaphysical products and education for the

purpose of expanding consciousness regarding

our own spiritual path to remove blockages in the

body, the spirit and relationships.

Tarot & Oracle Card Readings - Perfect for anyone

who feels a little lost, needs a boost or clarification

on life, love, work and self.

Dressing Oils, Herbs, Candles and Tinctures-

Additions to your spiritual practice to enhance,

calm, manifest and draw positives to you.

Spiritual Counseling and Ritual Education- Learn

more about your path and what you'd like to

accomplish for yourself to live a more balanced

life.


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ALWAYS CHASING BETTER

COACHING

BY MICHELLE HORTON

Tell us about yourself, your background,

and how you started Always Chasing

Better Coaching..

I was an educator for almost 25 years,

a teacher and administrator and spent

a good part of my career creating

transformation in school programs to

provide better learning opportunities for

students and professionals alike. After

going through a personal transformation,

I decided that it was time to help other

women have the audacity to do

the same.

What is the mission behind your

business?

My mission is to design unique,

individualized transformational

support for women through

training and resources while creating

a diverse and inclusive community.

What, in your opinion, is the

most important quality in your

business and the services you

provide to your clients?

The most important quality in my

business in integrity. Who I am as

a person is reflected in my business

and that boils down to integrity.

I stand strong in who I am and

what my business is for women.

Do you believe there is some sort of

pattern or formula to becoming a

successful coach?

I think the beauty of entrepreneurship

is that there is no one path to anything.

My experience in developing coaching

programs for teachers and administrators

was one route, but there are as many

different paths to coaching as there

are women have the imagination and

audacity to create their own way!

What makes you “hustle” both

personally and professionally?

I hustle personally and professionally

because I am a passionate feminist.

I believe it the power of women to

accomplish anything we set our minds

to, and I love being a part of the success

of my sisters.

What fascinates you about helping

others be the best version of themselves?

I am so profoundly impacted by the

uniqueness of every single woman and

her journey. We all have really important

stories to tell, and I believe that each

of the women I meet is meant for my

personal path as well.

Why did you choose this profession?

I am a transformer by nature. I walk

into a room and want to rearrange it or

redecorate it. It’s just my nature. When I

began my own personal transformation

a few years ago, I championed through

it with a woman who coached me

every step of the way. Although our

transformations are often lonely and

solitary work, I experienced the impact

of having someone alongside me equally

devoted to my success. I want to be that

for others.

What is the best piece of advice

that you have been given that has

helped you in your business, or

dealing with clients?

The best piece of advice I have

received is to take care of myself

first so that I am best equipped to

run a successful business and bring

my full self to my relationships and

day to day life. What this means to

me is that I need to take good care

of my body, mind, spirit and learn

something new every day.

As a business owner, what are

your top three priorities?

I try to stay focused on three things:

love, success, and abundance. These

are pretty broad but every day I

reflect on those areas with these

questions:

In what ways did I show up today

leading with love?

What steps did I take today toward

ensuring the success of my business?

How did I experience abundance today

and is there a way to share that with

others?


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“My mission is to design unique, individualized transformational support for women

through training and resources while creating a diverse and inclusive community.”

Would you do business with yourself

if you were a client and why?

Hell yeah! I am laser focused on helping

women cross their own personal finish

lines and no one celebrates BIGGER

than me when my clients win!

Is there one phrase or statement that

you always remember and share?

“Have the audacity…..” I love the word

audacity. It implies a boldness, a little bit

of sass and I think women who want to

reinvent, evolve, or pivot in their lives

need to have audacity to go get it!

Do you find it helpful or hard being

a female owned business?

It is an amazing time to be a woman

entrepreneur! Women are collaborating

and coming together like we have so many

times in history to show our economic

and political power in numbers. This

movement is different though…much

more inclusive and diverse. I recognize as

a white woman that I have a responsibility

to all of my sisters to take them by the

hand when a door opens for me. In

the past, we weren’t as willing to take

others along when we achieved success.

Today, that is changing and it’s exciting

to be a part of that dynamic. Some of

the most successful, powerful women

I admire are women of color who are

champions for themselves, their families,

and entire communities.

What is your ‘why? ‘” Why do you do

what you do?

I have always been moved to help the

underserved in our world and women

are so full of amazing energy that is

tapped unnecessarily. The journey of

healing and growing is one of hope

and victory. We can overcome any

circumstance and become the woman

we see inside our dreams. Living a full

life to our capacity is a gift to ourselves

and everyone that loves us. I want that

for everyone.

Who were some of the mentors that

encouraged or inspired you on this

journey?

I have a network of women who I turn

to for encouragement and inspiration;

however, my wife, Anne Montreal,

hands down navigates her life in such

a way that I come everyday to my own

life ready to be the best possible person

I can be – for myself, for her and for

our family!

Who is your ideal client?

My ideal client is a woman who has

finally said, “I’ve had enough and because

I’ve tried to fix this myself and because

it means so much to me, I am ready to

ask for help!”

What are your plans for your business

for the future both personally and

professionally?

I am in the process of building an online

learning portal where a lot of the skills

and strategies I use with clients will

be accessible to women who are more

interested in a “self-help” approach rather

than a personalized coaching experience.

My wife is adding an education consulting

branch of the business, so I’m involved

in that as well.

My goal is to have both businesses

sustainable and profitable while we

manage them from any beach on the

planet!

When starting your business, did you

ever ask yourself “WILL CUSTOMERS

‘WANT’ OR ‘NEED’ MY SERVICE?”

The challenge of a coaching business,

especially life coaching, is that customers

don’t know what it is, what it looks like

or even if they would benefit from it. It’s

exceedingly difficult for women to see

that they don’t have to suffer and that

coaching, quite different from therapy,

is a doer’s way of improving your life in

a relatively short period of time.

Are you a born leader? Having a

great idea is one thing. Being able to

communicate that idea and convince

others to jump on board is another.

Do you feel you have what it takes to

be successful?

I’m the first-born child of four and

always gravitate toward a leadership

position. I believe that we all have what

it takes to be successful, it’s whether or

not we can outsmart our inner voice

that’s trying desperately to keep us at

our status quo. I am as successful as I

let myself be!

If you had the chance to start your career

over again, would you do anything

differently?

If I had the knowledge that I’ve gained

from my life’s experiences thus far, I would

start my career over. At the same time,

I am so grateful for the point at which

I am in my life that to start over again

would mean a lot of other things would

be different too. I genuinely believe that

I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021 141


EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR FULFILLING WORK,

RELATIONSHIPS AND DAY TO DAY LIFE IS ALREADY

RIGHT INSIDE OF YOU! I CAN COACH YOU TO AND

THROUGH IT ALL!

528 PLUM STREET #108 SYRACUSE, NY 13204

ARCHEMYGROUP.COM/ALWAYS-CHASING-BETTER-

COACHING

(315) 440-2147

MICHELLE@ALWAYSCHASING BETTER.COM


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DEWITT STYLING

Tell us about your background, and

the history of Dewitt Styling Shop.

I started working at DeWitt Styling

Shop in 2005. It was shortly after

Bob, my successor, became business

partner with one of the original

founders, Don. Don and Joe opened

the shop in 1964. I had about 3 years

of experience, mostly women’s styles,

before I started there.

#2 What makes you “hustle”?

#3 What made you decide to

become the owner of a barber

shop that has over 50 years of

history in CNY?

#4 How do you stay abreast

of the latest trends?

#5 What is your signature

and why?

#6 What fascinates you about

this line of work?

#7 Why did you choose this

profession of being a barber?

#8 What is your most favorite

service and why?

#9 As a business owner now, what

are your top three priorities?

#10 Would you do business with

yourself if you were a customer?

#11 Do you walk your talk as a lady

boss?

#12 What changes can you make that

would change everything?

#13 “What is your ‘why? ‘” Why do

you do what you do?

#14 Who were the mentors that

encouraged you?

#15 What do you find is the best to

promote your business?

#16 What are your plans for the

business for the future?

#17 Do you find it hard or challenging

to be a female boss in a male dominated

field?

#18 How do the other men treat you?

#19 If you could time travel back to day

one of your startup and have 15min

with your former self to communicate

any lessons you’ve acquired with the

intention of saving yourself mistakes

and heart ache, what would you tell

yourself?

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“My daughter makes me hustle. Knowing I have a toddler daughter looking up to me.

I need her to know she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to as well as she can

have anything she desires”

What is your favorite fashion

accessory and why?

I could not just choose one favorite

fashion. LOL. I love shoes and I love

me a nice purse. Both set the tone

for your outfit. #13 What is your

main goal for 2021? My main goal

for 2021 is to Pray, stay focused and

watch all my manifestations come

true. #14 What is your “must have”

fashion item of the year? My must have

fashion item of the year is outerwear.

Must have a nice outerwear jacket/

coat. My favorite coat right now is

the ‘’ Color me” coat on my website.

Check it out at www.Miracleslabella.

com. #15 Tell us one piece of advice

you would give to someone starting

their own business in 2021.

Be yourself, do your research, don’t

rush the process and never be afraid

to ask for help if its needed and keep

your faith.

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KW FITNESS

BY MANDY WEBB

Tell us about yourself, your background,

and how you decided to open KW

Fitness.

I was born and raised in Syracuse, and

graduated from CNS back in 2003.

My background is in sales and marketing,

and I’ve been an entrepreneur since I

was 19! I moved down to Binghamton

in 2009 to start a sales and recruiting

business and successfully broke every

record that territory previously held

for that company.

My husband Kevin is a Certified

Personal Trainer, who graduated from

the American Academy of Personal

Training in Boston in 2011. He started

privately training clients shortly after

he graduated, and opened the doors

to our first KW Fitness studio down

in Vestal in March of 2014.

When we were looking at our future

together, we decided it would be best

to close down the business I had at the

time and work on growing KW Fitness

together because it was more aligned

with our objectives and family goals.

What is the mission behind your private

personal training and nutrition studio?

Our mission is To Deliver Health and

Fitness Results that Last a Lifetime. We

do this by teaching people maintainable

habits, with accountability and guidance.

What, in your opinion, is the most

important quality in your business

and what you provide your clients?

I would say our most important quality

in our business is our culture. We are

solely a Private Personal Training studio,

so our clients like the comfortable, nonintimidating

atmosphere. It’s not like

a typical “gym” that packs classes and

lacks support & accountability.

Do you believe there is some sort of

pattern or formula to becoming a

successful entrepreneur male or female?

I believe that it doesn’t matter someone’s

background, upbringing, past, financial

situation, or even education.

To be a successful entrepreneur, the

most common things that I’ve seen is

having tenacity, drive, grit, persistence

and resilience.

What makes you “hustle” both

personally and professionally?

For me personally, I hustle because I know

that the only person who can determine

my future is me. I have the power to

choose the effort that I put in every

single day. Having an entrepreneurial

spirit in corporate America or while

working for someone else will only

get me so far!

What inspires you in doing what

you do?

I’m inspired by helping people to live

longer, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

I’m also inspired to lead by example for

my children, to create a bright future

for them, and to do Kingdom Work.

I truly believe in what we do here at KW

Fitness, so it makes it much easier to

get out of bed in the morning!

Why did you choose to open a

private facility? You hold your clients

accountable, but who does that for

you?

We chose to open a private facility

because we want to be able to work

with people on a personal level and

help them achieve their goals hands on.

Most of our clients are people who

don’t like the “big gym” setting and

want a more personal feel.

For our own accountability, since

day 1, we have always invested in a

business coach.

We believe that the only way to continue

to grow, and to keep lifting our people

up, is to keep growing ourselves.

The most dangerous way to think is to

think you know all there is to know as

an entrepreneur. Surrounding yourself

with people who have been there before

and who can challenge your thinking is

the way to continue improving!

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“When we were looking at our future together, we decided it would be best to close down

the business I had at the time and work on growing KW Fitness together because it was

more aligned with our objectives and family goals.”

What is the best piece of advice that

you have been given that has helped

you in your business?

“Don’t look beside you to see what

everyone else is doing. Don’t look to

see who is ‘setting the bar’. BE the bar.

Look to outlast everyone else. The only

business you should be competing against

is the business you were yesterday.”

I can’t remember what book I read that

in, and it’s not word for word, but it really

resonated with us and has helped us to

stay level-headed, even during such an

unpredictable year.

As a business owner, what would you

say are your top 3 priorities?

Top 3 priorities:

1) Profitability (so we can be around

long term)

2) Taking care of our team

3) Taking care of our clients

Is there one story of triumph and

accomplishment that stands out from

the rest either with yourself or a client?

For us as a business, I’ll never forget a

terrifying moment that we had back in

March of 2017. We weren’t correctly

projecting our cash flow and it looked

as if we were going to be in the red

within a few weeks. Like, to the point

where we couldn’t pay our team or our

bills. I literally couldn’t sleep that night.

The next day, we got to work. We were

going to do whatever it took to make

it happen and to never look back. We

created a new campaign, threw what

little advertising dollars we had behind

it on Facebook, and got 27 clients that

month (our goal is usually around 9 net

clients). We learned our lesson and like

I said, we have never had a moment like

that ever again!

Is there one phrase or statement that

you always remember and has inspired

you or stuck with you?

My favorite quote of all time, and honestly

I think it’s been my life mantra, is the

following quote from Charles Swindoll:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the

impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me,

is more important than facts. It is more

important than the past, the education,

the money, than circumstances, than

failure, than successes, than what other

people think or say or do. It is more

important than appearance, giftedness or

skill. It will make or break a company... a

church... a home. The remarkable thing

is we have a choice everyday regarding

the attitude we will embrace for that

day. We cannot change our past... we

cannot change the fact that people will

act in a certain way. We cannot change

the inevitable. The only thing we can

do is play on the one string we have,

and that is our attitude. I am convinced

that life is 10% what happens to me

and 90% of how I react to it. And so

it is with you... we are in charge of our

Attitudes.”

What services do you provide your

customers that makes you a one stop

shop for health and nutrition that is

different from others?

Personalized nutrition and exercise

programs for our clients, customized

to each individual. Not “cookie cutter”,

one size fits all type-thing.

“What is your ‘why? ‘” Why do you

do what you do?

My “why” is to make an impact on

the world in whatever capacity that I

can. I believe every person is here for

a reason, and I personally believe that

I’m here to help people live up to their

full potential. As a person of faith, I

do what I do as if I’m not working for

myself. It’s not about me.

Who were some of the mentors that

encouraged or inspired you on this

journey?

My mom has always been an inspiration

to me. She had me at a really young age

and had to leave behind her dream of

attending music school as a very young

mom. She started out as a bank teller

making minimum wage, to now being

the Sr. Vice President of Retail Sales at

Seneca Savings Bank. She has taught

me the art of the hustle! Her leading by

example has inspired me to not settle

and always go after what you want :)

What are your plans for your business

for the near future and further out,

let’s say 5 to 7 years?

Our plans are to continue growing

so we can create stable careers for our

Personal Training staff. We’ll be starting

the process of opening our 3rd location

in about a year, and we want to continue

helping our clients achieve their health

& fitness goals!

When starting your business, did you

ever ask yourself “WILL CUSTOMERS

‘WANT’ OR ‘NEED’ MY SERVICES?”

I personally have never thought about

this, but when we started to really narrow

down our “client avatar” (target market)

is, the question of “WHY does this

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“We are solely a Private Personal Training studio, so our clients like the comfortable, nonintimidating

atmosphere.”

person need us” came up, and we started

clarifying what our “Mrs. Jones” (ideal

client) really looked like.

Are you a born leader? Having a

great idea is one thing. Being able to

communicate that idea and convince

others to jump on board is another.

Do you feel you have what it takes to

be successful?

I’ve been told that I’m a natural leader,

so I started to believe it and I’m ok with

that :) I work hard at every endeavor

I get myself into. If (God forbid) our

business closed tomorrow, I would find

another avenue to be successful.

If you had the chance to start your career

over again, would you do anything

differently?

If I had the chance to start my

entrepreneurial career all over, I would

tell myself to act as if I couldn’t fail, and

not listen to my own head trash! I used

to overthink and overanalyze way too

much. I once heard from a mentor of

mine “don’t think, just work!”, and it

was super helpful in helping me to get

out of my own head!

What is the one word you clients would

use to describe you?

They would probably say that I’m

optimistic!

154 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021


KW FITNESS

Fayetteville's Premier Personal Training Studio

PRIVATE.

SAFE.

EFFECTIVE.

RESULTS.

Personal Training and Nutrition Coaching.

Call for a complimentary consultation:

315-400-3252

KWFitnessNY.com


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SACRED GODDESS BOX

BY TRACY DONALDSON

Tell us a little bit about yourself and

how you started the Sacred Goddess

Box, LLC.

Greetings Goddesses! My name is Tracy

Donaldson and I am a woman who wears

many hats. I am a Mother, Daughter,

Sister, Friend, Nurse, Goddess Steam

Practitioner, and Entrepreneur. Rochester,

New York is where I was born, raised

and of course reside. Coming from

a family of a Jamaican decent - the

importance of family, hard work,

and dedication has been instilled in

me from a very young age which I

owe to my parents. However, I have

to give credit to attending The first

HBCU, Lincoln University, for

instilling in me great core values,

being a woman of integrity, as well

as a leader.

What exactly is the Sacred Goddess

Box, LLC?

Sacred Goddess Box, LLC’s is a

holistic practice focusing on feminine

wellness. The highlighted service

provided is using hydrotherapy

through Yoni (vaginal) Steaming.

Yoni steaming also known as V-Steam

is a non-invasive, self-care, holistic

practice where women sit over a pot

of warm organic herbal steam. The

warm (never hot) steam permeates

the exterior of the vagina and up

into the womb. Women find this

service to be very relaxing. The vagina

is porous like a sponge and because it

is so porous, it can easily absorb the

medicinal properties and oils of the

organic herbs that are used. I blend my

herbs so they are tailored to my clients

needs rather it’s for a refresher to if she’s

trying to conceive to everything else

in between. Yoni steaming has a range

of physical, emotional, and spiritual

benefits such as:

• Reducing menstrual cramping and

symptoms of PMS

• Helps with odor

• Decreases heavy menstrual flow

• Regulates irregular or absent periods

• Helps with postpartum healing and

toning

• Helps with those suffering from

idiopathic infertility

• Aids with uterine fibroids, ovarian

cysts, and endometriosis

• Help with strengthening the pelvic

floor and tightens the vaginal canal

• Helps to restore natural “good” bacteria

and ph balance to aid in prevention

of yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis

and odor

• Relieves symptoms of menopause such

as dryness or pain during sex

• Detoxifies the womb and body

• Helps to release stored emotions &

anxiety

• Helps to activate feminine energy

by allowing women to tap into

their creativity

• Relieves tension and induces

relaxation

• Helps with insomnia

• Can help aid in healing from

past sexual trauma

Other services that are offered

here at Sacred Goddess Box, LLC

are Womb Stimulation, Womb

Clay pack, Ionic Foot Detox,

Ear Candling, and Post-Surgical

Lymphatic Drainage as well as Body

Contouring will be available soon.

The entrepreneurial journey

is not an easy one. It requires

determination, time, hard work

and leadership. What motives

you and keeps you going?

What motivates me are the women

I have thus far encountered on

this journey. Many women have

entered my suite with the weight

of the world on their shoulders. To see

that weight lifted by the end of their

session and to see the smiles on their

faces as they are leaving let’s me know I

am walking in my purpose. I love doing

this. It never feels like a work. It’s like

I get to hang out with my girlfriends

every day!

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“ Sacred Goddess Box, LLC’s is a holistic practice focusing on feminine wellness.”

How do you find new clients? What

has been your biggest success?

Finding new clients isn’t an easy task.

There are several women to my knowledge

in the Rochester area who offer these

services. So there is definitely a selection

to choose from. However, by word of

mouth, client testimonials, awareness,

educating, and advertising on social

media, the word gets around to other

women. The women who are meant for

me find themselves at Sacred Goddess

Box, LLC.

What made you decide to get into such

a unique business?

I’ve always wanted to be a business

owner. In 2018, I was out of work for

approximately 5 months. I used that

time to research different successful

small businesses. I learned that feminine

wellness was on the rise. I recalled visiting

a friend in Atlanta where we had a Yoni

Steam. I really enjoyed the experience

and wished there was something similar

offered in Rochester. So I figured, how

hard could it be to throw herbs in a pot

of boiling water? Unbeknownst to me,

it was way more than that. Since I was

unaware of any actual businesses who

provided Yoni Steaming, I decided to

try my hand. I found a certification

program in Atlanta that taught the art

of Yoni steaming. It was a three day

program and by the end I became a

Certified Goddess Steam Practitioner.

I opened my business to begin in my

home and have since opened a suite in

October of 2020.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

In 5 years, I see my business expanding

to a larger location where I am able to

offer services to multiple clients at at time

without disrupting the sacred experience

that I now provide to my clients.

What kind of person do you feel makes a

successful female entrepreneur especially

in 2021?

In 2021, a successful female entrepreneur

first and foremost has to believe in herself.

She has to believe in what she is setting

out to accomplish before anyone else

believes in it. To know that she will be

knocked down a multitude of times and

it’s up to her to picker herself up, brush

herself off and keep pushing forward.

To have the mentality to not be afraid

to ask for help. To know that there may

be many women doing the same thing

she is doing but she has to remember no

one has the same recipe that she holds.

And her only competitor should be

herself! Because who God has for her

is for HER and no one else.

What makes you hustle?

There are 3 things that make me hustle.

One, if I want to eventually run my

business full time I have to work hard.

I cannot get to where I want to be if I

don’t put the work in. So knowing my

vision and where I want to eventually

take Sacred Goddess Box, LLC keeps

the hustle going. Two, the women I

encounter. I have learned since doing

this, there are so many women dealing

with reproductive ailments, lack of vision,

sexual traumas - to be able to talk with

them, set goals, come up with a plan

pertaining to whatever it is they are

going through in life - to help them set

their intentions and watch it manifest is

truly rewarding for me. Getting positive

results makes me want to go harder for

our women. And three, I have people

who look up to me. I have to set an

example. Mom/Godmom/Auntie is

not a quitter. I’m going to finish what

i started. I’m paving the way to show

them anything can be accomplished

if you put your mind to it and put in

the work.

Who has been someone who has inspired

you in your profession and why?

Tracey Bryant-Swint, Alchemist and

Queen of the V-Steam, has played a major

role in inspiring me on my professional

path. She’s who I gained my knowledge

from. She is absolutely amazing and a

go-getter! She’s so knowledgeable; always

seeking to learn more to heighten her

craft so she can come back and educate

her mentees. Because of her, we’re always

up to date on the latest and greatest

when it comes to feminine wellness.

Watching her makes me want to do

more, learn more, and be greater.

What do you think are the top 5

qualities of a great female entrepreneur

are?

• Life-Learner

• Integrity

• Vision

• Confidence

• Courage

• Respect. Sorry I had to throw in an extra

What is your favorite part of your

business and why?

I love meeting the different women I

have encountered. They come from

many walks of life ranging 14 to 75

years of age. I love hearing their stories.

I love learning from them. And I am

honored to have have been able to help

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“Many women have entered my suite with the weight of the world on their shoulders. To

see that weight lifted by the end of their session and to see the smiles on their faces as they

are leaving let’s me know I am walking in my purpose.”

What would you say are your strengths?

My greatest strength is my ability to

listen. Listening is to empathize. It gives

the speaker a sense that I care about

their well-being and I’m there to help.

Listening is Power.

If you could time travel back to day

one of your startup and have 15min

with your former self to communicate

any lessons you’ve acquired with the

intention of saving yourself mistakes

and heart ache, what would you tell

yourself?

To not second guess

myself. To tune out the

naysayers and that my

biggest supporters will be

those I least expect. If I

would have known this

in the beginning, there

would have been many

thing I would not have

taken personally.

What would you say is

your greatest professional

accomplishment to date?

My biggest accomplishment

to date has been helping 4

women who were told they would

never have a baby, conceive and birthed

beautiful beings.

What’s the best advice you have received

in business that you wish to pass on

to our readers?

All money isn’t good money. It’s okay

to tell a potential client that you cannot

service them. It’s important to protect

your energy and your space.

What did you do before opening the

Sacred Goddess Box, LLC?

Before opening my business I was and

currently work as a Master prepared

Registered Nurse for a local hospital

here in Rochester as a coordinator for

the Department of Surgery.

How did you come up with the name

for your company?

In the art of Yoni Steaming, the word

“Yoni” means “Sacred” space. A

“Goddess” is a female deity. Goddesses

have been linked with virtues such as

beauty, love, sexuality, motherhood,

and fertility. As women we must know

and embrace that. So hence “Sacred

Goddess” and then there is “Box”. It can

mean one of two things: either a square

object that can store items (in this case

the throne or stool women sit over to

steam) or woman’s vagina. And there

you have it, Sacred Goddess Box, LLC.

What’s your favorite thing to do in

your free time?

During my free time, I enjoy cooking,

reading for knowledge as well as for

entertainment, and I also enjoy traveling.

Unfortunately, due to COVID traveling

has been limited.

What is Number One Business Goal

you plan to accomplish over the next

year?

My number one goal is to begin

gathering data for a research article

on Yoni steaming. Where I am a firm

believer and can testify on the benefits

of Yoni steaming, unfortunately there is

not a lot of research out there.

Being a nurse educator, it is

important for me to have the

data to back what I preach.

Tell our readers one thing

they may not know about

you.

I am a woman who has

experienced sexual trauma

as a child. Childhood into

my adulthood was extremely

hard. I suffered from

depression and insecurities. I

made many poor decisions.

But what saved me was being

able to heal and release those

demons that haunted me daily. Before I

embarked on this business journey, I had

to self reflect. I had to love myself again.

I had to forgive my abuser knowing I

would never get an explanation or an

apology. There is no way I could provide

my services to women if I didn’t address

my personal issues first. I was able to

accept what happened to me, forgive,

and release. Once I came to a place

of peace, everything fell into place. I

had to heal first before being able to

heal others.

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A ROSE IS STILL A ROSE

Tell us about what A Rose Is Still A

Rose Outreach...

“A Rose Is Still A Rose”. (A.R.I.S.A.R.)

is a non-profit organization created for

young girls and women. We are made

up of a group of committed women,

injected with various community

partners who are dedicated to the

growth and development of young

girls and women within the Rochester

community.

How did you start the non-profit

and why?

As a social worker

I have worked with

women and young

girls for over 10 years’,

experience advocating

and serving historically

underserved

populations dealing

with substance abuse,

trauma, and mental

health concerns. I

worked for a great nonprofit

organization

which helped me to grow, but most

of the organization had limitation on

who they could serve and if they didn’t

meet the criteria most was turned away.

A Rose Is Still A Rose Outreach is

designed to serve all young women from

all walks of life. I started with a vision

which help me move to planning. I

enrolled into a Master’s program, Master

of Science in Strategic Leadership at

Roberts Wesleyan College. This gave

me more understanding on how an

organization is operated and as well

helped me to identify what type of

leader I am and strive to be.

What challenges did you face when

starting up a non-profit? Any advice

for others in the same situation?

There wear many challenges and still

till this day. I’m finding out my vision

is much bigger than I thought it was..

My advice would be to stay the course

for this is a marathon not a sprint. Be

patient for there is a time and season

for everything. Always leave room to

grow and learn.

What is the mission behind A Rose

Is Still A Rose?

Mission

A Rose is still a Rose is a non-profit

organization created for young girls

and women. Our focus is to support

young women in finding an optimistic

approach in life. Through positive

encouragement and cultivation of their

vision and purpose (life goals), we assist

by providing the necessary resources

to assist them with overcoming the

obstacles of life.

Vision

A Rose is still A Rose will be a consistent

blossoming sisterhood and garden of

support for young women within

the Rochester community. Through

outreach, empowerment and growth,

we will help every rose bloom where

they are planted.

What has your organization

accomplished to date?

Due to the pandemic my organization

could not fully fulfill its obligation to

serve in the magnitude of which it

would have like to. But we still was

able to raise money and help four

families during the

holidays, as well as

make donations to

women which help

towards schooling,

starting up a business,

shelter, clothing, and

council.

Can you share one

or two stories of

individuals whose

lives have been

changed because of

your organization?

There is a young women who came to

me and used the services of me being her

life coach. We have been connected for

over a year now. But she recently came

to me because she was struggling in

many areas and needed help on finding

her own way and purpose. With our

services I was able to see her growth

and dedication. She is now an intern

for ARISAR, and she is flourishing

and setting goals for herself.

There was also other young women

who was starting her own hair salon

business. ARISAR was able to provide

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“A Rose is still A Rose will be a consistent blossom

women within the Rochester community. Through

help every rose bloom wh

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ing sisterhood and garden of support for young

Outreach, Empowerment and Growth, we will

ere they are planted.”

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“ A Rose is still a Rose is a non-profit organization created for young girls and women.

Our focus is to support young women in finding an optimistic approach in life.”

resources as well as money and help

go toward her business which is now

up and running.

What makes you hustle?

Knowing that there is so much

more to see and experience

in life. I want myself and my

family to be in a position to

live the fulfillment of life

without limitations.

What are your organization’s

goals this year?

To encourage women to

become a part of the ARISAR

sisterhood by registering

for a free membership

on our website. www.

stillaroseoutreach.com

Once registered in our free

program, each rose will be

eligible to receive support

in the following areas below

and so much more.

Services

o Building positive

relationships/Sisterhood

o Weekly newsletters

o Tutoring, Mentorships

and life & social skills

development

o Self-love/Healthy

relationships

o Community service

o Parenting support

o Goal setting

o Financial literacy

o Career Exploration & Professional

Development

o Skill Building (i.e. facing insecurities,

rejection, abuse and anger.)

How can donors help other than

making financial contributions?

Donors can help by volunteering their

time and knowledge. If donors have

free space available to host different

workshops that would be helpful as well.

What is one thing you have done that

you do not regret?

The one thing I have done that I do not

regret is investing in myself. Whether

that be financial, further education,

seeking counsel and ect.

What is most important

to you and why at this

point in your life?

What’s most important to

me right now is financial

wealth, not just for myself

but my family and my

community. I grew up with

a poverty state of mind,

and I now understand

the important of breaking

generational curses.

What is your favorite part

of doing what you do?

Motivating women who are

willing to overcome their

current challenges and are

continuously encouraged

to strive for independence

as they are inquest to reach

their current life goals. By

Supporting them to ensure

that they have the tools

to be successful in their

endeavors and will continue

to have the support

necessary. Ultimately,

becoming effective leaders

and change-agents within

the community in which

they live.

As a business owner, what

are your top three priorities?

1.To continue to think futuristic,

meaning staying current on the changes

that happening around the world.

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“My plan is to be transparent as possible so my reader can see not only am I educated in

these subjects, but I had to walk them out as well to get to where I’m at today.”

2. Networking and utilizing valuable

resources.

3.To stay focused on the

purpose.

Where do you see A Rose

is Still A Rose in the next

year? What about 3 years

from now?

In the next year I would like

to see ARISAR moving in full

gear. Workers and volunteers

in place. Weekly and monthly

workshops being provided to

give support to the women

that we what it means to

be free.

What provoked you to

start this book?

I saw a documentary

from Michelle Obama

called ‘Becoming’, In her

documentary she quotes

“what seem like nothing

to you is your power”

this touch me because I

questioned myself about

writing a book about my

life. Asking myself who

would want to read about

me? Not knowing that

each of us has a story that

can save or Inspire someone

else. Its important for me to

live in my purpose. Being

a Life Coach is what I’m

inspired to do. Helping

other walk out their traumas, fears,

grief, unforgiveness, and give them

skills on leadership development,

purpose, selflove, which will allow

them to see their power.

What are your intention with putting

this book out?

My intention is to promote my brand.

Allowing my reader to see why I am

qualified to be a life coach on these

subject matters. My plan is to be

transparent as possible so my reader

can see not only am I educated in

these subjects, but I had to

walk them out as well to get

to where I’m at today. And

that I’m still doing the work.

What do you plan for the

readers to take from this

book?

I want my readers to

understand you don’t have to

live within the circumstances

you were given if it doesn’t

align with your purpose and

who you are today. Make the

changes and do the work to

be better each day. The most

important thing is to live your

purpose to your best ability,

within your constraint. A lot

of time we allow our past

traumas to keep us feeling

Anger, a shame, sad, hopeless,

which cause Anxiety, fear,

unforgiveness. But when you

decide I want better for me,

or I know longer want to be

in this place that is the first

step towards your freedom

and healing. I want my readers

to feel ready and confidence

to take on this journey and

face that thing that has held

them back from living in

peace, joy, love, prosperity,

most of all their purpose.

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A Rose Is Still A Rose Outreach LL

A.R.I.S.A.R

Tiffany J. Anderson, MSL

Director of Program

(585) 363-3311

E-mail: aroseissillarose101@gmail.com

Website: www.stillaroseoutreach.com

Speaker | Mentor | Life Coach | Consulti


C

ANGELA TEWA

ng


“MY GOAL

IS TO MAKE

EVERY

CLIENT FEEL

COMFORTABLE

AND

BEAUTIFUL.”

LICENSED MAKEUP ARTIST AND ESTHETICIAN

WWW.MONTIMAKEUP.COM I (315) 395-6793

CEMONTI1@GMAIL.COM


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HOW CAN YOU OPTIMIZE

YOUR WELLNESS?

BY DR. SARAH F. SPIEGELHOFF

As it has been over one year that we have

been living through a pandemic, taking

care of ourselves might be more important

than ever.

For the last 15 years as a psychotherapist,

I have been drawn towards not only

helping clients with mental health issues,

but also empowering them to improve

their overall wellness. My clinical work

and research has shown me that we

cannot only improve one area of our

life if we want to see lasting lifestyle

changes. Yet so many people do not

fully understand the construct of

wellness, rightfully so, because in

today’s society wellness and self-care

have become somewhat of a fad.

Taking care of yourself should not

simply be about buying the latest

wellness supplements marketed on

Instagram, expensive devices found

on popular wellness blogs, and quick

fixes that promise wellness with no

lifestyle changes. Being well is a

lifestyle. It involves finding harmony

in life, rather than struggling and

often not succeeding when trying

to find balance in the everyday.

Wellness is complex and dynamic,

in that how we move through the

world will always change. Some days we

will feel great and ready to take on

challenges, while other days we feel

tired and may need to stay in bed a bit

longer. Both are okay. It is necessary that

we listen to our body and our mind to

determine what is right for us.

When I work with women, I help them

explore how they understand their own

personal wellness and how to create

meaningful change. My approach is

different from many other wellness

practitioners because I do not only focus

on the why, but more so the how. It is

easy for blogs and wellness gurus to

tell you why you need to improve your

wellness - better health, better

relationships, better strength, better

performance, and so on. We all know

why. The challenge that many people have

is the how, especially when determining

how to make lasting change. However,

ask yourself the following two questions,

“How do I understand my current state

of wellness? How do I want to optimize

my wellness?” These questions can be

more difficult to answer, because it

requires introspection and self-motivation.

This is where my role as a holistic

psychotherapist comes into play.

Throughout years of scholarly research,

I realized that overall wellness is robust.

Many wellness experts speak about

specific factors that affect wellness or

specific habits that we should develop to

improve our lives. Some only focus on

diet and nutrition, some might include

other aspects like mindfulness. Though

these aspects for wellness are relevant,

I have found that an element that is

often missing from the discussion is

identity. Identity is often overlooked in

wellness models and wellness practices,

but it is critical to how we understand

our overall wellness and how we

pursue lifestyle changes.

As I continue to explore wellness

and identity development, though

my clinical work and research, I see

that the two constructs intersect.

I have seen this in several ways:

1. How you think about yourself.

First, how people think about

themselves affects wellness. For

example, if you are someone who

wants to improve your physical

health by exercising, it may be

challenging for you if you are

embarrassed by your weight and

are ashamed to be seen exercising.

Your perception of yourself will

limit your ability to determine

how you can make changes to that

part of your life, which will ultimately

improve your overall wellness. Again, it

is easy for someone to tell you why you

need to improve your physical health,

but the how can be more complicated.

2. How to make changes. It can also

be difficult to understand how to make

changes if you do not understand yourself.

Today we hear about and read about

so many examples of ways to improve

our wellness. Case in point, blogs and

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“As you can see, wellness is more than just a fad and it more than just the why. Wellness

is also more than just the treatment (e.g., medication, therapies, mindfulness, exercise,

diet, etc.).”

social media often write about new

diets that will improves our lives. One

blog might give support for a Keto diet,

another might recommend fasting, and

a third might be in favor of a vegan diet.

How do you choose? If you struggle to

understand your own needs, whether they

are physical, emotional, or ethical, you

might jump around from one fad diet to

another. In such cases, it is important

for your to explore what is important

to you and what do you need. Perhaps

you have a job that is demanding and

only allows a brief

period of time to eat during the day,

making a fasting diet challenging.

Or perhaps you morally choose not

to include animal protein in your

diet, making a Keto diet difficult as it

eliminates many of the central foods in

this diet (e.g., seafood, cheese,

poultry, and eggs). Understanding

what your lifestyle needs and sense of

self are helps you determine how to

make changes.

How to make commitments. One critical

part of identity development is making

commitments. If one does not explore

their interests, it might hard to make

commitments, or at least commitments

based on what you actually want in life.

If one does not take the steps above to

determine how to improve wellness, it

will be difficult to commit to change. Let’s

consider mindfulness practices, something

that I often discuss with clients. Research

shows that mindfulness practices have a

significant impact on stress reduction,

lowering anxiety, improving focus and

memory, improving

relationships, and even immune

functioning. For many, when they

think of mindfulness practices they

think of meditating in silence for an

hour. But what if this doesn’t work for

your schedule? What if you hate sitting

in silence? Rather than deciding to start a

mindfulness practice based on whatever

the latest fad tells you to do, it is more

important to determine what you enjoy

and how that will work for you. If you

are short on time, maybe your practice

will be a few minutes of deep breathing

guided by your smart watch. Or if

you like movement, your mindfulness

practice might be determining which

form of yoga you are most drawn to and

whether or not you practice from home

or in a studio.

As you can see, wellness is more than

just a fad and it more than just the

why. Wellness is also more than just the

treatment (e.g., medication, therapies,

mindfulness, exercise, diet, etc.). Instead

wellness is a lifestyle practice that

includes understanding your identity

and thoughtfully determining how to

make changes.

After many years of working with clients

and exploring wellness and identity, I

began developing a model of wellness

called the Optimum Wellness Model.

This model of wellness is comprised of

five wellness identities - physical identity,

emotional identity, spiritual identity,

relational identity, and performance

identity - all of which make up your

core holistic wellness identity. The core

identity is how you identify with and

understand your holistic self. From a

clinical perspective, this refers to your ego.

When working with clients at my private

practice, I help them navigate what

changes they want to make, how they

understand who they are as a person

and what barriers they experience, and

to empower them to determine how

they can make changes.

The outcome of our work together is

success, not only defined by me, but

also defined by my clients. Together

we identify the why and explore the

how. Through this process, we look at

the foundation and formation of self

that create emotional and behavioral

problems. Through a client-centered

approach, we also consider how we

can improve the client’s overall sense

of well-being.

If you are engaging in a new wellness

journey, I encourage you to ask yourself

not only “Why do I need to improve

my wellness?,” but also “How can I

improve my wellness?”

Dr. Sarah F. Spiegelhoff is a licensed mental

health counselor in private practice at Dr.

Spiegelhoff & Associates. She specializes in

holistic wellness and integrative health,

adolescent and young adult mental health,

and family counseling. In addition to her

work with clients, Dr. Spiegelhoff is also

a part-time professor for the graduate

counseling program at SUNY Oswego. If

you are interested in learning more about

the Optimum Wellness Method, by signing

up for the Dose of Wellness newsletter, you

will receive a free Introductory Optimum

Wellness Plan. For more, visit drspiegelhoff.

com or contact her at sarah@drspiegelhoff.

com.

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FEMALE FORM OF

LEADERSHIP

BY DR. PAM DENTON I PHOTO BY KATRINA GRADY

Why We Need the Female Form of

Leadership to BE UNSTOPPABLE!

You want to play bigger, be unstoppable

and be a powerful woman! You want

to embrace life, even with incredible

challenges we are facing. You want more!

What is the vehicle that will get you

there? Leadership! But, I am not talking

about “Old Guard” leadership, it is

the Female Form of Leadership that

will get you the success you deserve

and desire.

You may know that your leadership

is the key to unlocking the door to

success. And as you unlock the doors

of change with leadership evolution,

you can begin to move to the other

side of where you are today and

access what you want.

Women have a contribution to

make to leadership: the biggest

contribution is in accepting and

honoring that there can be a new

way of approaching our leadership. In

order for life and business to change

and produce prosperity, we must

invest in becoming powerful leaders.

And reshape how we see modern-day

leadership.

In order to really change we have to face

the reality of what is no longer working

in leadership and make a choice to

become the catalyst for change.

This is where being UNSTOPPABLE

comes in. We have to choose to break

through past programming of leadership

that is holding us stuck. This process

takes an unstoppable attitude and inner

strength.

Women must choose a new

paradigm of female leadership that is

confident,courageous, successful, and

prosperous.

Once you have realized a new way of

leading in the world is essential for success,

then you can dive into releasing your

stuck behaviors in a way that facilitates

a new life that you desire.

Ask yourself:

Where am I today as a female leader?

And where does the female form of

leadership fit into your paradigm shift?

Do you believe you can lead?

These are important questions to answer

in your journal because humans face

some serious obstacles and in order to

get through them we must reshape how

we view leadership and begin to act in

new ways. It begins with you!

So let’s begin the process of reshaping

your leadership so you can become

super successful!

The process starts with a reality check

and a self exploration.

Reality Check! Where are we

today as leaders? And what is

not working in leadership?

In order to make fast changes

that will reorganize healthier

behaviors,we have to examine

how we currently lead. Then

we can understand where we

need to go.

Female Leadership has a specific

form but it is rejected due to

misunderstanding.

In my trainings and coaching,

women report:

• Leadership is repulsive and

not for her.

• Leadership is aggressive and

controlling.

• They want nothing to do with

leadership.

• They have heard it all before about

leadership.

• Leadership is dry and boring. It is

analytical.

• Leadership is not for women.

And, women tell me that they believe

leaders of all kinds (and at all levels)

have become aware that traditional

leadership methodologies no longer

serve us as humans.

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“You want to play bigger, be unstoppable and be a powerful woman! You want to

embrace life, even with incredible challenges we are facing. You want more! ”

Below, these women define leadership.

Let’s call those who embrace the following

qualities and styles as the most important

leadership qualities “The Old Guard.”

It’s a system that is the Patriarchy and

has been severely masculinized:

• Headstrong

• Intellectual

• Analytical

• Masculine

• Hierarchical

• Non-feeling

• Non-emotional

• Pain IS gain

• Put your head down and go

• Suit and tie

• Division between masculine and

feminine

• Who do I know

• It’s a big boy’s club

• Domination

• Control

• Feminism acknowledged but woman

NOT accepted

When you read these definitions, you

can easily see how the descriptions and

styles do not correspond with modern

leadership or modern thinking and ways

of life. Women have not really had the

chance to rise up and achieve success;

we are still being held back and held

down in an Old Guard world. In order

to rise up and achieve success, we must

bridge the gap between all leadership

styles and accept that there are new

ways of leading that must be honored

and respected!.

The old guard taught women to put up

and show up no matter what sacrifices

needed to happen. They taught us drive,

aggression, and ambition over feeling

love and life/work balance. They taught

us to drive to the point of breaking and

then be FIXED! Instead of taking care

of yourself along the way and investing

in your preventative healthcare and

authentic leadership style.

To reclaim your female form of leadership

and embody the power your desire, the

first step is to realize and release the

stress cycle, break through this habitual

patterning and program a new form of

EMPOWERED leadership into our

daily lives.

The empowered leader driven by

female consciousness, will take time

and dedication to create. And ultimately

this process begins with YOU! We need

YOU as the Female Form of Leader! In

order to reset to a more relaxed, creative

flow of leadership you have to let go of

old stressful habits holding you down.

This is a process of reshaping yourself

into a healthy, empowered leader and

it takes a totally new paradigm shift.

Are you ready?!

Modern-day, success driven women want

to be emotionally present, dynamic,

heart centered, community based,

collaborative, connected and intuitive.

And these women want money to flow

to their businesses and lives. Women

want to have it all!

Beyond bridging the gap discussed

above, the Female Form of Leadership

is necessary to inspire other people to

change. When we change, others will

be inspired to do so; it’s an exponential

factor, a domino effect.

As you let go of the worn-out, stress

induced, clunky patterns of Old Guard

leadership you will begin to gain the

prosperity and abundance that you

desire. You will begin to reclaim your

power from the negativity and disruption

caused by old forms of leadership that

no longer fulfill us. No matter what,

the female form of leadership the one

that is emotional, creative, and intuitive,

will provide you with the unstoppable

success you truly want.

Start today! Embrace that there is a

new way to lead and it begins with you!

Being a successful female leader means

that you are good with the fact that you

might just have a mission, a destiny, or

a purpose. That you want to tap into

the deeper resources inside of your

healthy body to access your real and

authentic form of leading. That you

want to tune into your core and listen

to your intuition. That you want to

thrive instead of merely survive. By

reprogramming your leadership into a

new female form of Core Intelligence

(CQ) you will be able to access all the

things you want in your life.

This is where manifestation gets real,

with the Female Form of Leadership!

Be Unstoppable and develop your true

female leadership with CQ!

Dr. Pam Denton coaches leaders and

businesses in the new era of leadership.

Driving new business success with Core

Intelligence (CQ). Visit Dr. Pam for her

business coaching at www.supercorefit.

com/executive-coaching

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THE SAVVY ALLY }

LGBTQ+ ALLYSHIP

BY JEANNIE GAINSBURG I PHOTOS BY ASIF ALI & BESS WATTS

HOW TO MESS UP

PROPERLY

With LGBTQ+* terms, identities, and

cultural norms constantly changing, it’s

difficult for allies to keep up. We may

feel intimidated by all the changes and

silenced by the fear that we’ll accidentally

say something that will offend someone.

We probably will. We all do.

People often think I’m joking when

I say that being an ally is an ongoing

journey of messing up, but it’s true.

We mess up with somebody (for

example, we might accidentally use

the wrong pronoun). We make an

appropriate apology (more on that

in a moment). We forgive ourselves

(not always as easy as it sounds). We

put in the work to get it right the

next time (savvy ally tips for that are

coming up). We share what we know

with others (non-judgmental ally-toally

conversations are so important).

Repeat (oops…we mess up again in

some other way).

I’ve been actively messing up as an

ally to the LGBTQ+ communities for

two decades now, so I’m an expert.

Formerly the Education Director at the

Out Alliance (Rochester’s LGBTQ+

center), I now run my own small business

called Savvy Ally Action. My goal is to

increase people’s confidence in having

respectful conversations with each other

and to jumpstart even the most tentative

LGBTQ+ ally.

So, let’s look more closely at the process

of how to mess up properly, as this is key

for being a great ally to any marginalized

community.

The Blunder: We may blunder by

accidentally using an offensive, outdated

term (for example, the “gay lifestyle”),

making assumptions by using gendered

language (for example, “Take this

form home to mom and dad.”), or

misgendering someone by using the

wrong pronoun, as mentioned above.

Since I recently made the pronoun

blunder myself during an interaction

at Starbucks, I’ll use this as my example

as I walk through the process.

The Apology: The first thing that needs

to happen after I blunder is that I need

to make an appropriate apology. The best

way to do this is to imagine that I just

bumped into the person on the street. I

wouldn’t walk past the person without

saying anything, because that’s rude. But

I also wouldn’t make a huge deal out

of it, begging them for forgiveness and

sobbing on their shoes. I would simply

say something like, “Oh, excuse me” or

“I’m sorry.” When I misgender someone

I feel terrible, and my tendency is to

over-apologize. Here’s the problem with

that. Even though apologizing profusely

may make me feel better, it’s likely to

make the person I messed up with feel

worse. It will draw a lot of attention

to my blunder. It can also pull

the focus of the conversation

on to me and how badly I feel.

Then I can end up in situations

where the person I messed up

with is trying to make me feel

better. Awkward! So, a quick

and simple, “I’m sorry,” is best.

Forgiving Yourself: Oh, it sounds

so easy, doesn’t it? I find that I

can beat myself up for weeks

over an incident like the one I

described above. What I try to

do when I mess up is remind

myself of three things. First,

that I’m human. Second, that

mistakes make me think about

issues, make me more aware

of my language, and help me

become a better ally. And third, that my

mess-ups help me connect with others

when they make the same blunder.

Getting It Right the Next Time: Here’s

the big moment that separates the eagles

from the slugs! (How’s that for getting

creative with ungendered language ?) I

can either forget all about this incident

and write it off as “no big deal,” or I can

do the work to get it right the next time.

Here are a few tips that have helped me.

1) Try again right away. If I’m still in a

conversation with the person I messed

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{ THE SAVVY ALLY }

“People often think I’m joking when I say that being an ally is an ongoing journey of

messing up, but it’s true.”

up with, I make a point of using the

correct pronoun right away. This helps

to cement it in my brain and shows

the person that I’m actively working

to get it right.

2) Practice in my head. Running what

I’m about to say through my head

before it comes out of my mouth has

proven a very successful strategy for

fixing my errors.

3) Write it down. When I write

things down I’m more likely

to remember them. So, for

example, I might write, “Jo

(they/them),” somewhere where

I see it often. Adding people’s

pronouns after their name in

my phone contacts also helps.

4) Practice on your pet: If

you struggle with nonbinary

pronouns, like singular they,

you’re not alone. Lots of folks

find these and other nonbinary

pronouns difficult to master.

One way you can become more

proficient at using nonbinary

pronouns is to use them when

talking about your pet. Most pets don’t

mind being referred to as they as long

as you remember to feed them on time

and occasionally scratch their heads.

(Tip credit goes to my friend, Kayden.)

5) Imagine a mouse. Another tip for

getting singular they right is to imagine

the person has a mouse in their pocket.

“They are coming to dinner. Get out

the mini cheese tray!” (Tip credit goes

to my friend, Eridan.)

Sharing What We Know: A great role

for allies is to step in, with patience

and kindness, when we hear someone

blunder and share what we’ve learned.

Members of marginalized communities

should not have to be the ones always

educating others. A great strategy for

starting a conversation with someone

who’s just blundered is to demonstrate

your vulnerability by using a connecting

statement like, “I used to use that word

too” or “I also messed up their pronouns

last week.” Then go on to share why

you changed your language or tips that

have helped you get pronouns correct.

Blunder Again: Yup. It’s going to happen.

Here’s an inspirational story to help you

embrace the journey.

Years ago, my friend Sean, who was

assigned “female” at birth, began his

transition to male. Early on in his

transition he and I would often get called

“ladies” at restaurants, and it would bum

him out for hours. One day, Sean and I

were at a racquetball club and we were

asked by a staff member for our driver’s

licenses, in order to borrow racquets.

She looked at the licenses (probably

noting Sean’s name and “M” gender

marker), finished our paperwork, and

then looked up and said, “Okay ladies!

Let me show you the courts.” Her face

immediately turned red, and she said,

“Oh! I mean guys.” Then she looked even

more embarrassed and said, “I mean…

friends.” And then she put

her head down and scurried

off ahead of us to the courts,

looking like she wanted to run

out the nearest door. When

we got to the court and the

woman left us, Sean turned

to me with a big smile on his

face and said, “I love her for

that. I love that she worked

so hard to get it right.”

* Lesbian, gay, bisexual,

transgender, queer/

questioning, plus so much

more!

Jeannie Gainsburg is an awardwinning

LGBTQ+ educator, consultant,

and author. If you’re seeking more

ally tips and information on how to

create LGBTQ+ inclusive spaces, please

check out her book, The Savvy Ally: A

Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+

Advocate, available on Amazon and

through the Monroe County Library

System. To schedule a workshop or to

access free educational goodies, go to

www.savvyallyaction.com.

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AN AFTERNOON IN

HAMMONDSPORT AND NAPLES

BY RANDY AGNESS

Every once in awhile I get to experience

some amazing sights and meet the most

friendly folks you could imagine. As a

kid, me and brother and sisters would

enjoy a few days in Vine Valley staying

with my father’s parents summer cottage

on the southern tip of Canandaigua

Lake near the town of Naples New

York. It was uncomplicated time

where we would spend the morning

either swimming in the shallows or

attempting to gather minnows along

the shoreline beach.

If we had the luxury

of having a little bit

of loose change, then

it meant we could

venture into the

penny candy store

which was a short

walk away where

we could spend an

amount of time

staring at the options

of ordering lengths of

dot candy, stranges

of thin licorich, a

pockets full of gum

balls, or jaw breakers

to munch on or trade

between ourselfs.

When our grandfather saw us getting

restless he would pack the five onto

the motor boat for a tour of the lake

front where we would wave at anyone

hanging out on the summer afternoon

before arriving back ahead of dusk

to find long straight sticks to roast

hot dogs over the oven pit fire under

cooked to what seemed like perfection,

but most likely more undercooked as

soon as one of us felt their dog was

ready we all decided to eat together

smoothing the buns with ketchup and

mustard along a plastic glasses filled

from pitchure of ice cold kool aid or

lemonaid and a helping of macroni or

potato salad. It was a real treat to go

into the town of Naples to the most

favorite restaurant where we could all

find individual stools at the counter

to order a delicious cheese burger and

French fries. There wasn’t much talking

until the meals disappeared while my

grandparents ate at a booth. It was

a place where the summer residents

pretty much knew each other after

years of repetitions.

I traveled down thru Naples and notice

the Bob and Ruth’s sign and quickly

decided to stop in reminisce about

the days gone by and broke into a

conversation with the owners while

eating my favorite meal. I’m not sure

if it was the chatting about the past

or the quality of the Riesling, but I

wanted to have this restaurant and the

wonderful staff serve my wine. Either

way they didn’t hestitate to buy a case

and they showed me the lounge area

called The Vineyard appropriately

where I’m sure the locals would have

con gengated on the weekend nights

to soci alize. But everytime I pass thru

it’s a must stop.

This time it was closed for the season as

my trip designation way focused was a

business meeting at the Pleasant Valley

Wine Company in Hammondsport

NY located on the

bottom of Keuka

Lake. When first

starting into

winemaking I

was hired by Mel

Goldman at Keuke

Lake Vineyard

known at KLV.

I was working

thirteen hour days

in the winery on

weekends helping

out prior to their

bottling run. I

would stay in the

winemakers loft

overnights and

would complete all

the duties in the winery preparing the

batches of wine including transferring

the wine between tanks “racking” and

thoroughly cleaning the tanks before

returning the wine. KLV received

the first 90 point rating with Wine

Spectator for their vintage of Dry

Rieslings. When you visit be sure to

spend a few minute longer to learn

about the steep vineyard slopes of the

property that create the wonderful

grapes..

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“Every once in awhile I get to experience some amazing sights and meet the most friendly

folks you could imagine.”

Pleasant Valley Wine Company is located

a bit further south of the Hammondsport

and is the oldest winery in the Finger

Lakes as the first bonded winery in

the nation in 1860. I had no idea

about the storied history of Pleasant

Valley and the American Champagnes

brands produced on the campus of

buildings including Gold Seal and

Great Western among many others. I

was escorted into the main office and

up the stair to the gorgeously wooded

conference room.

Agness Wine

Cellars arrived to

discuss options of

working together.

It was simply me

flanked by the

Doyle’s Mike

the President and

his son Patrick,

the sales director

Matthew Healy.

Mike Doyle was

interested in

Agness Riesling

made in the

Finger Lakes so

I offered a sample

of our Riesling to

share at the meeting, after generous

compliments, then the real discussions

began in how we could work together

on a new wine project.

Once completed, I was offered a

a real treat - a personal tour of the

sprawling facility and interconnecting

production areas over many floors,

buildings by Matthew Healy. Along

the way, I viewed the rows upon

rows of absolutely huge winemaking

tanks of various sizes. As we ventured

further on the tour, I was simply

amazed at each and every turn of

winemaking spaces and architecture

along the way over many levels. This

is a must see tour and wine tasting

which is able to support hundreds

of visitors daily. Even the pictures

stunning photos can’t portray the

size emormany of the operations and

the simply beautiful historic spaces

where visitor are able to drink wine

for special events supported by the

numberous consecutive kitchens to

needed for various events thoughout

the year. Eight of the original Great

Western buildings are actually listed

on the National Registry of Historic

Places. Their wine caves with bricked

arched ceilings may have been all lost

if it wasn’t for the efforts of Doyle

Family when purchased and restored

the winery and vineyards. Beyond

the massive number of cases of

Champagne finished annually, Sherry

and its processing is a sight not to

be missed by both the serious wine

enthusiast and those wanting to see

the working history of winemaking on

a grand scale. When first started 100

gallons of wine was produced, now

having the capacity of 14 millions

gallons with 500 vineyard acres.

The name Great Western received its

name from a pronouncement as “the

Great Champagne

of the Western

World.” I could go

on and on about

the transitions of

ownership which

is now back under

local control of the

Dolye Family, but

this is a destination

requiring a

personal visit to

truly appreciate

finishing in the

Pleasant Valley

visitor tasting room

for some Great

samples.

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OVERPOWER FEAR

BY SAVON HOLT

Fearless: is the absence of fear. Are you

allowing fear to stop your growth? If

so, why? Fear is simply an emotion

that can be controlled by changing

your mindset, but many people let fear

consume them. It can paralyze your

body and stop you from becoming

the best version of yourself.

Imagine yourself living a fearless

life, going after everything you

dreamed. You’re setting goals

and executing them one by one

and setting realistic timeframes.

Your boldness, brave heart,

and courageous spirit set you

apart from others.

Life can throw us curve balls.

Those unexpected circumstances

can cause us to worry, stress,

have anxiety or even depression.

However, when we learn to

be fearless on our journey, we

overcome our fears. Facing

our fears can be simple as

confronting our concerns, the

obvious, and or hidden demons.

It includes facing those fears

that are too embarrassing to

confess (like the fallout from

a dumb misunderstanding or

the consequence of making bad

choices) and those symptoms of

fear that we may not understand

(like change in our sleep

patterns, eating habits, or panic

attacks). However, the biggest

downfall of fear is its hinderance to

fulfilling our purpose.

Have you ever heard the saying

that one of the wealthiest places

on earth is the cemetery? Well, it

is true. Various studies have shown

that 98% of people die with their

dreams. Only two percent of people

die with their dreams fulfilled. I can’t

help but imagine that fear plays a

huge factor in people dying with

unfulfilled dreams. Just think of

how many people die having these

great ideas that they never pursued,

it only made it to the idea stage. An

idea with no action behind it is just

a thought. They saw the vision but

never created the reality. Imagine

how many had dreams to be doctors,

lawyers, teachers, dieticians, models,

writers, or public speakers but feared

they weren’t good enough, worried

about what others would think, or

didn’t have the money to pursue their

dreams, etc. Don’t allow fear to stop

you from serving your purpose.

If you had told me five years

ago, I would be an author and

speaker I probably would have

thought you were crazy. Heck,

if you would have told me I

would graduate college and

become a columnist, I would

have laughed. I always wanted

to be a speaker, but I was too

shy, lacked confidence, and told

myself my vocabulary wasn’t big

enough to become a speaker. I

always wanted to write a book,

I even started writing an urban

book when I was younger, but

fear discouraged me. I wrote

between10–30-page papers that

would be ripped apart by my

professors in college, making

me feel like I wasn’t a strong

writer, but I graduated with a

B average.

Now I write monthly columns,

and I am entering into grad

school. I tell you this because if

I had allowed fear to stop me, I

wouldn’t be where I am today,

inspiring others to do the same; be

fearless. I could have given up, but

where would that have gotten me?

Being fearless is about perseverance

and being ready to face anything

that comes your way. Those little

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“We are brave, strong, limitless, courageous, bold and FEARLESS.”

hiccups on your journey are just

strength testers that show you how

strong you are.

The first step to any recovery process

is admitting there is a problem (I am

scared). The second step is identifying

the issue (like I fear heights, but why

do you fear heights?). Admitting

your fears helps, it shows you are

self-aware. Journaling helps a lot too.

Write down the woman you would

be or how life would look for you if

you didn’t have fear in the way. Then,

write down your goals (in black pen),

after, write down what’s stopping you

from achieving those goals (in red pen

next to each goal), next write down

(with a green pen) how you would

accomplish those goals.

For the first three days, review your

goals and fears. On the fourth day,

cross out everything you wrote in

red pen, so now all you are focused

on are your goals and how you will

execute them. You should have a shift

in your mindset. After that, nothing

to it but to do it! After 21 days, this

will become a habit. Remind yourself

each day of your goals and how

you will accomplish them. Nothing

happens overnight, so take your time

and embrace your journey. Fear will

creep up and make you feel helpless

and as if you’re not enough. Just

know, you are enough and more

than capable of becoming the woman

you are destined to become. Work at

your goals daily, stay persistent and

consistent. Us women hold so much

power. We are brave, strong, limitless,

courageous, bold and FEARLESS.


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“DEMANDS AND DESIRES”

BY AMANDA ASHLEY

Too much to do and too little

time…. always! It’s the story of

our lives, because well... the more

responsibilities we have, the more

life demands of us.

If you want to look at what’s

demanding straight in the eyes,

send me your address, and I will

ship you a 42 inch, 42 pound four

year old child and a

bowl of candy for a

weekend.

I ASSURE YOU…..

sweeter than the tooth

of a child, are their

will, dedication and

relentless persistence

to get what they desire.

We all once were

children ourselves,

so what the hell

happened?

If you’re physically,

emotionally and

mentally exhausted

by the end of your

days, chances are your attack on

your demands has become a little

less intensified. Life becomes a

big squeeze, and often the things

we care most about suffer.

Perhaps it’s time to re-route?

What brings life fulfillment is not

completing a daily checklist of

to-dos. What we desire more of

in our lives deserves to be tended

to, and it’s time we make the time!

Balancing, breathing and stretching

are crucial to our personal and

professional development. Without

balance we have no stability,

without stretching we are unable

to see how limitless our potential

is, and without taking a moment

to breathe, we lose sight of who

we are.

Demand what’s right for you, by

asking “What more do I want”

and consider how the choices you

make today will affect your future.

Time and space are limited, so it’s

wise to be conscious of how you

delegate each of your precious

moments, and let go of what no

longer positively serves your life.

Set loose that relentlessly persistent

child within, and take steps towards

pursuing the life you’ve always

dreamed.

Happiness and accomplishment

await and YOUR happiness is

forever WORTH

demanding.

- Amanda Ashley

Live Videocast every

M/W/F livestreamed

and archived at

w w w .

afternooncocktail.show

Subscribe to Afternoon

Cocktail on Youtube!

Available on Itunes,

Spotify, I heart Radio,

Stitcher, Amazon

Music, Google Music,

Alexa, etc, so catch up

on your inspiration

and keep spreading good energy

to those around you!

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TAKING CONTROL

BY DONNA CATOR CFP®, CDFA®, AND MARGARET M. WHELEHAN, CDFA®

OF THE FINANCIAL

IMPACT OF DIVORCE

Let’s face it, no one gets married to

get divorced. It is the death of a

dream. If you or someone you know

is going through a divorce, it’s time

to get prepared for emotional and

financial challenges.

Even the most amicable

divorce brings major

life changes. Having the

guidance of a qualified

team will put the odds in

your favor to emerge from

divorce in a financially

stable place where both

parties believe the divorce

settlement was fair. There

are three key professionals

you may want on your

divorce team – A therapist,

divorce attorney and/or

mediator, and financial

planner who specializes in

divorce planning, preferably

one who is a Certified

Divorce Financial Analyst®

practitioner.

A CDFA® practitioner is

skilled at analyzing the

financial issues of divorce.

His/her role is to help the

client and attorney understand how

financial decisions made today will

impact the client’s financial future. The

process provides an objective view of

settlement offers and counterproposals

and may suggest a different way to

negotiate vs. taking matters before

a judge.

What are the realities of divorce?

• Plan to live on less income: Divorce

often results in going from a twoperson

income in one household to

two households with one income each.

It is important to understand what

your household budget was while

you were married and be prepared

for what it will look like post-divorce.

Your attorney and CDFA® practitioner

work as a team to determine what

income to each is fair and equitable.

• Not all assets are equal: The taxation,

liquidity, and future growth potential

of an asset all need to be considered

in the division of assets. One spouse

generally wants to keep the family

home. Think twice about that. The

family home has upkeep/maintenance,

property taxes and consumes cash

flow for daily living. There may be

a vacation home or cottage as well

as pre-tax IRA or 401(k) accounts.

Understand that different assets may

be taxed differently. Take this into

account when dividing assets.

• Don’t let emotions rule: Be

thoughtful about your financial future

and that of your children,

if applicable. Knowledge

and rational thought are

key to negotiating a fair

and equitable settlement.

By working with a CDFA®

practitioner (a neutral

third party), it becomes

easier to treat your

settlement in a thoughtful

manner.

• Wait, we had more assets

than this! It is common

for one spouse to try to

hide assets. Gather at least

three years of tax returns

to look for differences

compared to what is being

disclosed today. A CDFA®

practitioner is trained to

take a deeper dive.

• QDRO? What’s that? A

QDRO (qualified domestic relations

order) is a judicial order used to divide

employer retirement plans in a taxfree

manner. Be sure to confirm with

the plan provider that QDROs are

allowed. It is important that QDROs

are transacted properly or taxes and

penalties may apply.

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“Let’s face it, no one gets married to get divorced. It is the death of a dream.“

• Don’t rush to sign: It took years

to accumulate your wealth. Take

enough time to question if your final

divorce decree is equitable (does not

necessarily mean equal).

• Make sure your interests are insured:

If spousal and/or child support are

being paid as part of the settlement,

consider life and disability insurance as

a requirement. This ensures payments

will continue to be made in the event

of pre-mature death or disability of

the payer.

The goal is to make informed

decisions while going through the

divorce process and yield the best

financial outcome possible. As CDFA®

practitioners, we are happy to meet

with you (virtually or in person) to

review your options. Please contact

us today.

*Securities and insurance products are offered

through Cetera Investment Services LLC,

member FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services are

offered through Cetera Investment Advisers LLC.

Neither firm is affiliated with the financial

institution where investment services are offered.

1816 Penfield Rd, Penfield, NY 14526

Investments are: *Not FDIC insured *May lose

value *Not bank guaranteed *Not a deposit

*Not insured by any federal government agency.

Donna L. Cator, CFP®, CDFA®, is Vice

President, Wealth Advisor, CNB Wealth

Management, Canandaigua National Bank &

Trust Company. She can be reached at (585)

394-4260 x50623 or by email at DCator@

CNBank.com. Margaret M. Whelehan,

CDFA®, is Vice President, Financial Advisor*,

CNB Wealth Management, Canandaigua

National Bank & Trust Company. She can

be reached at(585) 394-4260 x42129 or by

email at MWhelehan@cnbank.com.

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RECEDING HAIRLINE IN

FEMALE

BY JAROD SCHOONMAKER

CAUSES, PREVENTION

AND TREATMENT

You rarely see women getting bald unlike

men. Although the data shows males

have a higher percentage of hair loss

(alopecia) compared to females, they

do get them, even looking for solutions

cosmetically like scalp micropigmentation

services for ladies.

The content of this article is to

thoroughly discuss what every woman

must know about receding hairline,

its symptoms, causes, preventions,

and treatment, to ensure healthy hair

follicles keep growing in long term.

In other words, here’s what you can

do if you have uneven hairlines or

hair loss.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

Losing hair is an everyday occurrence

that happens as part of a normal

conditions for most people; it is normal

to lose approximately 100 hairs a day.

The hair thinning slowly and gradually

falls out, then new hair grows back

again. But some circumstances may

point to a possibility that receding

hairline in women is problematic

when it exceeds the normal count.

Signs and symptoms of hair loss may

include:

Gradual thinning hair on top of head.

This is the most common type of hair

loss, affecting people as they age. In male

pattern baldness, hair often begins to

recede at the hairline on the forehead.

Women typically have a broader thinning

hair all over their head.

Circular or patchy bald spots. Some

men and women lose hair in circular

or patchy bald spots on the scalp, beard

or eyebrows. Your skin may become

itchy or painful before the hair falls out.

Sudden loosening of hair. A physical or

emotional shock can start hair to loosen.

Handfuls of hair may come out when

combing or washing your hair or even

after gentle tugging. This type of hair

loss usually causes overall hair thinning

but is temporary.

Full-body hair loss. Some hair loss

conditions and medical treatments, such

as chemotherapy for cancer, can result

in the loss of hair all over your body.

The hair usually grows back.

Patches of scaling that spread over the

scalp. This is a sign of a ringworm. It

may be accompanied by broken hair,

redness, swelling and, at times, oozing.

CAUSES AND TREATMENTS

These are multiple causes of receding

hairline or thinning hair in women and

each condition are followed by their

respective treatment.

ANDROGENETIC ALOPECIA

A very common cause of hair loss

which is another term for male or

female pattern baldness. Men tend

to lose hair from the temples and

center part of the head. In women,

hair usually becomes thinner all over

the head. If one has a family history

of male and female pattern baldness,

chances are high you have too.It is

more likely to happen as a person

ages but can start at any point after

puberty. Many females who experience

androgenetic alopecia develop it after

going through the menopause. This

means that hormones may have

something to do with hair loss in

women.

Treatment:

It is possible to treat this condition

with a medication for hair growth,

namely minoxidil twice every day.

TELOGEN EFFLUVIUM

Telogen Effluvium causes more hair to

fall out, sometimes in handfuls, this is

an estate where the hair remains in the

natural shedding phase of the growth

cycle. Usually, telogen effluvium is

a temporary form that resolves over

time, such as, surgery and childbirth.

It is advisable to see a doctor to find

out the cause.

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“This psychological toll affected the woman more that men, obviously. Female pattern hair

loss may lead to depression, anxiety, and social phobia.”

Treatment:

A doctor will need to treat any underlying

causes of telogen effluvium. If a physician

suspects that specific medications are

causing hair loss at any form, they may

change them.

ANAGEN EFFLUVIUM

Anagen Effluvium causes large amounts

of hair to fall out rapidly during the

growth phase of the hair cycle. The

condition may cause hair to fall out

from the head, as well as from other

parts of the body, including eyebrows

and eyelashes, just like chemotherapy

treatment.

Treatment:

Treatment for this condition depends

on the cause but can include a topical

solution of minoxidil. If a person has

anagen effluvium as a result of undergoing

chemotherapy, cooling the scalp during

the procedure may help. Hair will often

grow back 3–6 months after stopping

chemotherapy.

ALOPECIA AREATA

Alopecia areata is an autoimmune

condition that causes hair to fall out

suddenly. The immune system attacks

hair follicles, along with other healthy

parts of the body. Hair from the scalp,

as well as eyebrows and eyelashes, may

fall out in small chunks.

Treatment:

If a person has this state of being, they

should see a physician. A doctor may

prescribe medication to help the hair

grow back.

TRACTION ALOPECIA

A receding hairline due to hairs being

pulled back into tight hairstyles. Traction

alopecia causes it to break and come loose.

Include:

Tight buns or ponytails

Braids

If traction alopecia continues, a person

may develop bald spots and thinning

of the hair.

Treatment:

In terms of self-care, avoiding tight

hairstyles will usually prevent further

damage.

MEDICATIONS

Some medications have side effects that

can start hair to fall out. Examples of

such medications include:

blood thinners, such as warfarin

Accutane, to treat acne

antidepressants, including Prozac and

Zoloft

beta-blockers

cholesterol-lowering drugs, such as Lopid

Treatment:

If a person thinks hair loss may be due

to a medication they are taking, they

should consider seeing a physician for

an assessment. The doctor might be

able to reduce the dosage or switch the

person to a different medication.

FRONTAL FIBROSING ALOPECIA

Frontal fibrosing alopecia typically occurs

in a receding hairline pattern and may

also result in hair loss in the eyebrows

and underarms. Frontal fibrosing alopecia

most commonly affects post menopausal

women.

Treatment:

Certain medications can manage

symptoms and stop the progression

of the disease. The cause is unknown.

Birth control pills

Hair loss while using birth control

pills may be a bad experience to some

people. Others might suffer hair loss

several weeks or months after they

stop taking them. If people are taking

birth control pills, they can choose one

that has a low androgen index. This

may help to lower the risk of hair loss.

Other forms of birth control that give

hormonal changes, such as implants and

skin patches, may also cause hair loss.

Treatment:

The American Hair Loss Association

recommends that people who have an

increased risk of genetic hair loss opt for

a non-hormonal type of birth control.

RINGWORM

Ringworm is a fungal infection that can

start hair loss. Ringworm on the scalp,

or tinea capitis, can cause temporary

bald areas on the head, its symptoms

include: itchy, red patches of skin, small

spots that get bigger and many more.

Treatment:

If ringworm does not heal by itself,

then a doctor may prescribe an

antifungal medicine. Alternatively,

they may prescribe an antibiotic, such

as Griseofulvin.

POLYCYSTIC OVARY SYNDROME

(PCOS)

A condition that affects a woman’s

hormone levels. Women with PCOS

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“Female pattern hair loss (FPHL) typically presents as a diffuse thinning of the hair across

the entire head.”

produce higher-than-normal amounts of

male hormones. This hormone imbalance

causes them to skip menstrual periods

and makes it harder for them to get

pregnant. Its symptoms include hair

loss, depression, and acne. Its risk factors

infertility, diabetes, and obesity.

Treatment:

There is no cure for PCOS, but you can

manage the symptoms of PCOS with

the help of your physician.

REGROWING HAIRLINE

There are a lot of ways to regrow

hairlines from scalp massages to taking

supplements, and eating a healthy diet.

Here are the best and advance methods

of the doesn’t require much patience:

Hairline lowering/advance procedure

The hairline lowering/advancement

procedure is performed by your surgeon

making a trichophytic incision along the

natural hairline and then carefully moving

the scalp forward and downwards on

the forehead. The hair-bearing tissue is

then moved forward and sutured into

its new lower position. After suturing,

the individual hair follicles may also be

transplanted to fill in gaps and to ensure

that the hairline is natural.

HAIR TRANSPLANT

The use of hair transplantation also

works to normalize the shape of the

new hairline and also to minimize

the appearance of any scarring as hair

growth manifests through and over the

incision line. In most cases, after the

hair transplants surgery, there are only a

very minimal, barely visible scars at the

hairline. This scar will eventually fade

to become nearly invisible over time.

PLASMA INJECTIONS

Here’s one we hadn’t heard of before.

Platelet-rich plasma injections (PRP) have

been used in other fields of medicine

for over a decade but have only reached

dermatology within the last five years.

Simply put, Blood is extracted from

the person with hair loss and ‘growth

factors’ are extracted from the blood,

then injected back into the scalp in the

area where hair loss is occurring.

SCALP MICROPIGMENTATION

During the scalp micropigmentation

process (SMP), specialists apply an ink

to a balding area with microneedles,

which create micro impressions to

give the illusion of hair. The ink helps

replicate the appearance of thicker hair

and each formula is mixed to match a

person’s natural hair color as much as

possible. The best people to ask, how

scalp micropigmentation help hair loss

is the Scalp International Hairlines, for

they are the best professional to choose

for your receding hairline problem and,

every client that is treated will not leave

the final session of treatment without

being 100% satisfied – guaranteed!

BOTTOM LINE

In male pattern hair loss (MPHL), the

hair loss typically presents itself as either

a receding front hairline, loss of hair

on the crown (vertex) of the head, or a

combination of both. Female pattern

hair loss (FPHL) typically presents as

a diffuse thinning of the hair across the

entire head.

Either way, there is no doubt that hair

loss or even receding hairline affects

both men and women’s psyche. This

psychological toll affected the woman

more that men, obviously. Female pattern

hair loss may lead to depression, anxiety,

and social phobia.

For more information about Scalp

International Hairlines and how we

can help both men and woman with

hairloss, please visit our website www.

scalpny.com.

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HELPING MEN AND WOMEN

WHO ARE SUFFERING

FROM HAIR LOSS,

SCARS, AND FORMS OF

ALOPECIA BECOME BETTER

VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES

THROUGH SCALP

MICROPIGMENTATION.

2851 MILTON AVE SOLVAY, NY 13209

(800) 236-6792

WWW.SCALPNY.COM

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LET’S TALK ABOUT EYEBROWS

BY GABRIELLA ROSE FIEDERLEIN

Let’s talk about eyebrows. The

eyebrows main function is to prevent

sweat, water, and other debris from

falling down into the eye socket but

they are also important to human

connection and facial expression.

Another function of eyebrows is to

prevent moisture from flowing into

the eye. Of course, so that we do

not get chemicals into the eye that

doesn’t belong there. In the beauty

industry, the eyebrows are a huge

part of the whole look! It is common

for people to modify their eyebrows

by means of hair removal

and makeup.

Fashion in eyebrow

shape continues to

change throughout the

ages and eyebrows have

always featured heavily

in fashion often a part of

cultural demands made

on women about body

hair. Did you know that

eyebrows in different

cultures and decades symbolized

someone’s power? Japanese women

and men from the eighth century

practiced a look called “hikimayu”

where shaving or plucking of the

eyebrow hair was in and painting

smudge like brows higher on the

forehead happened. This practice is

comparable to an era where women

who shaved their eyebrows were

symbolized as high class women.

Starting in the 1970s are when doctors

started injecting patients with botox

to raise the brow instead of having

them naturally sag as we age. Now

during the 21st century, injections

are the most popular trend as well as

plastic surgery to prevent the look of

aging, and stay looking younger! Who

doesn’t want to stay looking young?

I certainly would love to look young

forever. Another few trends in the

skincare and beauty industry today, to

keep up a clean look with brows are

now brow lamination, brow tinting,

and microblading. Some people even

permanently tattoo their eyebrows

as a way to permanently achieve and

maintain the color and shape. What

are eyebrow lamination, brow tinting,

and microblading? Eyebrow lamination

is a relatively new procedure that

focuses on creating shiny, smooth,

and natural brows. Brow Lamination

is also known as an eyebrow perm

just like lash lifting is known as an

eyelash perm. This service is great for

people who want a more clean and

shiny look to their brows. For people

who have very messy brows, or thin

brows and need more of a uniform

look, this is great to schedule for

yourself. Unlike microblading, needles

and coloring are not involved unless

you add a tint which is a temporary

dye added to the brows that last up to

eight weeks depending on the brand.

Brow Lamination is temporary and

lasts up to six weeks.

The process of microblading, also

called cosmetic tattooing, involves an

eyebrow technician to use a machine to

create small precise cuts that match the

strokes of hair naturally. Microblading

does involve needles, and goes down

one to two layers underneath the skin,

which is why it is not permanent.

A permanent tattoo lasts forever

because it goes much deeper into the

layers of the skin. The brand that I

use to microblade

my clients lasts 1-2

years.

Microshading

is a part of the

microblading

process where a

tattooing technique

occurs in which

a small handheld

tool made of several

tiny needles is used

to add semi-permanent pigment to the

skin. Microblading itself is a tiny blade

used to create similar texture brow

strokes to add more hairs, definition,

and shape. You might be asking, “well

since it is a tattoo...does it hurt?” I

apply a numbing cream on for ten

minutes before starting the actual

service which creates no pain. It is

more of a sensation where you don’t

feel much but you hear a sound that

clients might not like. Microblading

and Microshading is definitely worth

the money for how long they last

and the fact that you do not need

to fill them in as much anymore!

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“Did you know that eyebrows in different cultures and decades symbolized someone’s power?”

There is a pre and post process for

each microblading/shading service

that you need to prepare yourself for

which will be included during the

consultation. Microblading isn’t only

reserved for thin, sparse brows even

if you’ve been blessed with naturally

full ones, microblading can enhance

what’s already there. But the results

are especially remarkable on those

with thin brows (and can be nearly

life-changing for people who suffer

from alopecia or cancer).

Last but not least there is eyebrow

tinting which is the application of

a semi permanent eyebrow dye to

enhance, shape, and more so define

the brows. This service is great for

anyone. The more you learn, the

more questions you might have and

the more interested you become in

trying one of these amazing services.

Well, you can. Contact and book

with BeautifyMe today and you

will get a discount off of your first

service! Contact BeautifyMe so we

can Beautify you.

Instagram: @beautifyme247

Email: gfrose12@gmail.com

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}

REFLECTION

BY CHRISTINE GRANDIN I PHOTOS BY MICHELE ASHLEE

The relationship we have with

money is a direct reflection of the

relationship we have with ourselves.

Being Unapologetically Authentic

means valuing your time and energy.

As we gain a higher value for ourselves,

we become much more particular

about what we spend our time and

energy on. Everything in our life is a

domino effect of the value we place

on our time. It took me years to gain

a strong, healthy relationship within

myself. I would work extremely hard to

spend my money

on frivolous things,

with no concern

of saving or my

credit.

In my last column,

I discussed the

types of unhealthy

relationships I had

in my life, these

behaviors being a

direct reflection of

the lack of value

I placed on my

time. Along your

journey of becoming Unapologetically

Authentic, you will begin to realize

that certain people, places, and things

are not worth your time. I cannot

possibly value my time if I spend it

around people who drain my energy

or just do not simply add value to

my life.

Value comes in many forms, such as

spiritual, emotional, mental, physical,

and financial. I choose not to watch

much television, as I feel it is not a

good time spent. We all must do

things that bring us peace, for some

people, that is a television, and that

is perfectly fine. Once I began to

gain control of my life, I had to dig

myself out of a hole. I was in debt, I

had no savings, and I lost everything

due to my work injury and poor

choices. My credit score was in the

400 range.

Until this time, I never cared about my

credit. I slowly started working to pay

off debt and build my credit. In just

one year, I was able to raise my credit

score to over 700 points. I was able

to accomplish this by changing the

way I viewed money. Once I looked

at how much I valued my time, I

had to make a direct connection to

how I spent my money. This allowed

me to know the difference between

spending my money and investing it. I

began investing time and money into

paying off debt, starting a business,

mentoring, advertising, books/reading,

classes, and more.

With the learned and applied

knowledge, my time became even

more valuable. I do work a full-time

job that is currently helping me grow

my business until I can comfortably

leap into full-time entrepreneurship.

I had to correlate my time and what

I find acceptable to be paid for my

time and not settle for anything less.

The goal is to consistently increase

the value of my time by expanding

my knowledge and skills. I am 38

years old, I was never taught to value

myself, let alone my time or money.

However, it is never

too late to turn

your life around.

I do not want my

son to get caught in

the cycle of living

in debt. Statistics

say that 80% of

Americans live in

debt. If I do not

break the chains,

the process will

continue.

You do not have to

make an excessive

amount of money to build wealth. You

must have a good relationship with

money and genuinely value your time.

I will always be a work in progress,

I just purchased containers and

food for meal prep to save time and

money when life gets busy, it’s easy

to grab food on the go. Food is one

is the most significant expenses per

household, that about doubles when

eating out often. Consistent small

changes equal big results.

I recently joined the YMCA. This is


{ UNAPOLOGETICALLY { { SHE SHIFT+CONTROL HUSTLES TALKS AUTHENTIC } } }

“Being Unapologetically Authentic means valuing our time and energy. As we gain a

higher value for self, we become much more particular as to what we spend out time and

energy on.”

an investment into the health and

overall well-being of my son and me.

Some people say investing in certain

things is too expensive, but if you take

a good look at what you truly spend

your money on and adjust according

to placing value on your time, you

will see that you can afford much

more than you think. If it does not

help me grow and add value to my

life, I do not have time for it.

I am too busy growing, glowing, and

living Unapologetically Authentic!

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{ SHAMELESS SHAWNY }


{ I AM... }

I AM A WOMAN

HEAR ME ROAR!

BY LASHAWNDRA ASHFORD I PHOTOS BY KAMERON ASHFORD

Women are fearless. Women are brave.

Women are courageous. Women are

superheroes. Women can wipe their

tears with one hand and conquer

the world with the other. Women

are the matriarch of their family. A

woman doesn’t have to say anything

to hear her strength. A woman’s

characteristics can be loud and clear

by simply being a woman. Without

women, how would the world exist?

IMPOSSIBLE

When you talk about history be sure

to mention the part that some of

the most influential change-makers

were women. Looking back on where

women started and where they are

today leaves me in amazement thinking

about all the phenomenal attributes

the women in the past must have

possessed to make such a change.

Women went from not being able

to: vote, be in political office, run a

business, have a voice, get a credit card

in our name, no paid maternity leave,

take legal action against workplace

sexual harassment, and the list

continues.

Fast forward to now, women are

able to do all of the above and more.

Today’s change allowed women to

be Physicians, vote, run their own

business, have a voice, First Vice

President Kamala Harris in office, first

woman’s NFL official, Photographers,

Realtors, women with credit cards their

name and property in their name.

Do you understand your privilege?

TRUTH TALE

Women weren’t recognized beyond

the stereotypical role of society. A

women’s role was to cook, clean,

and be a caregiver. Women were

undervalued and unnoticed. Women

were penalized for being a woman.

Men didn’t need to obtain a title

or document of ownership to have

possession over women. Being a

woman gave consent to inequality.

How is this fair? Can you imagine

the hurt and disappointment women

experienced during this time?

DETERMINED WOMEN CAN

MAKE CHANGE

Beyond March

Celebrating women does not begin

or end in March. Celebrating women

deserves a lifestyle. We must let go

of our very own biases to continue

celebrating all women by addressing

and acknowledging our unhealthy

conditioned behaviors to demand

cultural change. Understand your

privilege, continue to bring awareness

to the achievements of women because

what we have become accustomed

to; would not exist if it wasn’t for

the women who fought for equality.


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{ I AM... }

“Women are fearless. Women are brave. Women are courageous. Women are superheroes.”

We are paving the way for the next

generation.

NOTHING IS GIVEN WITHOUT

A FIGHT... HOLD ON...

As Helen Reddy said, “I am woman,

hear me roar, oh yes, I am wise but

it’s wisdom born of pain yes, I paid

the price, but look at how much I

gained.” Our right was given with a

fight, let’s make the fight meaningful

by continuing to break barriers.

International Women’s day celebrates

EQUALITY!! We cannot celebrate

the change in inequality if we do

not change our perception. Equality

is celebrating beyond the color of

our skin, friendships, and our very

own biases. Equality is diversity and

inclusion!

YOU HAVE IT IN YOU

Women empowerment is beyond

empowering the women within your

circle. Women empowerment is no

discrimination. I don’t need to know

you to empower you. You shouldn’t

need to know me or anyone else to

empower them. This is mindset.

YOU ARE EMPOWERED TO DO

THE IMPOSSIBLE

We are now in positions to empower

one another, what will you do with

your power? What will you do with

your voice? What will you do to

celebrate women’s equality outside

of your race, social, and economic

norms?

I envision a world of International

women shamelessly exemplifying

diversity, inclusion, and empowerment

celebrating beyond the color of our

skin & comfort zone. It’s demonstrated

we have endless opportunities because

we are:

WOMEN WITH SUPERPOWERS!

WE ARE CHANGE!

WE ARE DETERMINED!

WE ARE BOLD!

WE ARE FIERCE!

WE ARE POWERFUL!

WE ARE FULL OF FIRE!

WE ARE BRAVE!

WE ARE STRONG!

WE ARE FEARLESS!

WE ARE HISTORY!

WE ARE SHAMELESS!

WE ARE LIMITLESS!

Let’s continue to celebrate social,

economic, political, & CULTURAL

achievements.

Happy International Women’s Month!!

Here’s to US!!!

IG: I_am_shameless_shawny

FB: Shawny Cox-Ashford

Stay YOU, Stay TRUE, Stay SHAMELESS

Own it, embrace it, Face it Shamelessly

~ Shameless Shawny


{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN }


{

{

COACHING

COACHING { SHIFT+CONTROL WITH

WITH

KRISTIN

KRISTIN } B.

}

}

PHOTOSHOOT

PREPARATION

BY KRISTIN BAUER-GROSS

STRESS FREE GUIDE

I’m standing in front of my closet

panicked!

What to wear?

What to pack?

How to style hair and make-up?

I start to try on clothes. It quickly

becomes overwhelming and time

consuming, I’m not loving any of the

looks. My favorite dress doesn’t fit. That

pair of pants that fits perfect needs to be

dry cleaned. The button came off that

pretty blouse a year ago and still needs

mending. I sift through a mountain

of clothes and then consider perhaps

I should buy totally new outfits.

I decide to go work on something

else and procrastinate this photoshoot

preperation for later.

Fast forward to the day of the

photoshoot. I show up frazzled and

unprepared and worse yet, I’m running

late. End up picking out clothes last

minute, the morning of the shoot and

everything is disjointed.

This ever happen to you? Can you relate?

Today I show up relaxed and happy.

But back then, I had no strategy around

planning, preparing and packing for

photoshoots.

Hundreds of photoshoots later,

I’ve developed a strategy and clear

preparation plan and share with you

here my step-by-step process. If one

tip transforms how prepared you feel

leading up to your next photoshoot,

then my heart will sing.

Let’s say, a photoshoot or life event

you want to capture is coming up.

This can be any type of photoshoot:

engagement, maternity, wedding,

graduation, holiday family photos,

actor headshots, updating portfolio

for your modeling agent, images for a

re-branded business website, imagery

for social media content.

STEP #1: Get clear on the intention

of the photoshoot:

Getting clear on the purpose of the

shoot and how the photos will be used,

I’ve found truly helps with being happy

with the outcome. Also it is helpful in

determining what photographer to

hire, what to wear and how to plan

the shoot.

Consider your goals for the shoot.

Write out the goals down.

Think about how the images will be

used: online, websites, social media,

e-commerce or actual tangible photos

such as hanging on a wall, sending

prints to family, cards, keepsakes for

yourself or someone special, an album,

or printed headshots.

STEP #2: Research photographers:

You wouldn’t call a podiatrist with

questions about heart health, right?

Photographers are the same way. Most

photographers have a specialty or a

few specialties.

When researching photographers

look carefully at their recent work

and portfolio on their website,

Instagram and/or Facebook. Look for

a photographer who specializes in the

type and style of photos you are seeking.

Planning a wedding? Research wedding

photographers. New baby? Infant and

family photographer. Getting started

as a commercial actor, a photographer

whose niche is commercial acting

headshots.

I often see people disappointed when

they hire someone for something outside

of their niche or area of expertise.

As a model and talent coach, I frequently

see aspiring models or actors shoot

with someone who does not specialize

in the type of photos that are actually

needed to be taken seriously by agents

or that would get them booked on paid

assignments. Finding a photographer

who is an expert in their niche will get

you leaps and bounds ahead and make

you look like a million bucks.

Have a conversation with the

photographer and ask questions.

• Discuss what will be included for the

price point quoted?

• Is editing included?

• For how many images?

• How are images delivered?

• When will they be delivered?

• Who provides make-up and hair?

• Does the photographer direct you

with moving and posing?

• Do they assist with wardrobe?

• How long is the shoot?

• Inside or outside (on location)?

STEP #3: Who is responsible for what

on shoot day?


{ COACHING { SHIFT+CONTROL WITH KRISTIN } B. }

“Hundreds of photoshoots later, I’ve developed a strategy and clear preparation plan and

share with you here my step-by-step process.”

After talking things through with the

photographer, I like to make a list of

what I’ll be responsible for on shoot day.

I recommend outlining what needs to

be done and approximately how long

it will take to accomplish each task.

For example, if purchasing a new outfit

is necessary, think about the time it takes

to shop, and when you’ll do that, be it

virtually or in person. Consider when

the items will arrive by and if they don’t

fit or don’t work for the look you’re

going for, what is the plan B?

Think about other errands that might

need to be done prior to a photoshoot,

such as mani/pedi, waxing, setting up

childcare, blocking off time in schedule

for shopping, taking the shoot day off

from work or getting a haircut.

STEP #4: Preparing for photoshoot day:

Make a list and check it twice!

Make your own list or grab my FREE

“Photoshoot Prep Checklist”

Having a packing checklist makes

preparing for photoshoots stress free!

Grab my free checklist by visiting:

https://linktr.ee/kristinbauergross

STEP #5: Show up feeling your best:

On the day of a photoshoot nothing

can replace feeling refreshed, confident

and prepared.

• Pack the night prior – or sooner

• Eat a healthy early meal the night before

a photoshoot that is low in sodium and

sugar. Sodium, sugar, alcohol or late

night meals leave us feeling bloated,

heavy, tired, swollen and lethargic the

next day.

• Bring water and pack snacks

• If the shoot is outside think about

the weather: sunscreen, umbrella, or

winter gear

• Try on all the clothes you bring. Yes

try on everything.

• I repeat, try on everything. This helps,

knowing exactly what fits and what

doesn’t and to attend to any mending

or clothes that need to be cleaned or

pressed.

• Trying all wardrobe on also allows us

to get to know which items work with

what accessories, undergarments, socks

and shoes. Sometimes we “think” we

know what something will look like but

once we arrive and realize oh wow the

only bra packed looks all wrong with

the blouse that was planned. Having

tried on all wardrobe would alleviate

these snafu’s.

STEP #6: SHOOT DAY

Have fun! All the hard work is done.

When a shoot day arrives I try to focus

on being present, in the moment and

enjoying myself as much as possible.

• Allow plenty of extra time for

traffic, delays, bad weather, or other

unforeseeable problems while traveling

to the photoshoot location.

• Being prepped early allows you to not

arrive in a panic and instead enjoy every

minute of your photoshoot

• How the subject feels shows through on

camera. If you feel relaxed and happy this

is how the final photos will be reflected,

if you are unprepared, arrive late, didn’t

eat breakfast, missed your morning

coffee, or whatever other mishap this

too will show in the subject’s face.

Make prepping for your next photoshoot

a breeze with my free checklist!

Snag the free photoshoot prep checklist

here:

https://linktr.ee/kristinbauergross

Enjoy this article? Love to connect on

Instagram.

Follow

@KristinBauerGross

@KristinBCoaching

232 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021


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234 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021

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{ { VOICES SHE { THE HUSTLES KEFI FOR WAY IMPACT TALKS } } }

MARKETING IN 2021

BY KATINA KARL I PHOTOS BY LYNEA D’APRIX PHOTOGRAPHY

Spring signifies a renewal, new

beginnings and growth. As we move

into the next season of 2021, Voices

For Impact podcast is dropping new

episodes that center around this

‘rebirth’ theme. The ladies behind

EmPowered Nutrition and Always

Chasing Better Coaching share

empowerment tips and advice on

living your best life in two of the

new episodes to hit the podcast.

I don’t know about you but January

and February are the hardest months

of the year for me to get through

each year. The cloudy and short

wintery days make life a bit more

of a struggle but as soon as March

hits — I am revitalized and the

hope and excitement for the future

kicks in. This could also be because

March is also my birthday month.

The first day of Spring (March 20)

to be exact! My birthday always

feels extra special because it is the

first day of Spring. I feel like I am

being reborn into a new year and

a new season all at once. This year

in particular, I feel this sense of

excitement for a new beginning more

than years past. Especially since last

year, around March 20th was the

when the pandemic hit America

and so began the beginning of a

shut down… but it does not do to

dwell on the past, I think collectively

we are all looking forward to this

new year.

Are you the type of person always

looking to improve themselves? A

life-long learner? Do you look for

inspiration and motivation on how

to begin the self-love journey? Do

you want to start your own business

but do not know where to begin?

I am so excited to share all new

episodes of Voices For Impact this

year. At the start of 2021, Voices For

Impact has already dropped some

episodes with incredibly talented

guests that are sharing their stories

and advice, just for you.

Spring is a great time to harness the

energy of the season and allow your

mindset to move away from dreary

winter doldrums into the fresh new

energy of spring. Life moves quickly,

but spring can be a reminder that

there’s always time to start a new

beginning on our goals, plans, and

dreams. The transitions between the

seasons offer a great metaphor with

which to view our lives, incredible

change moves at a slow pace but

with patience and persistence, our

efforts will allow us to live the lives

we seek.

I hope you feel motivated to take on

the day after reading this article and

for more daily inspiration listen to

Voices For Impact on Apple, Spotify,

and iHeart Radio podcast platforms.

Subscribe and stay connected on

Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and

LinkedIn @VoicesForImpact.

DID YOU KNOW? Podcasts are

really effective at selling, spreading

awareness, and building good

reputations for companies. It’s an

intimate medium where listeners

develop real relationships with hosts,

so when hosts recommend products

in their own voices, audiences are

more likely to try their product.

Voices For Impact has attractive

demographics for advertisers, with

listeners that are more of an affluent,

educated consumer than average,

according to Edison Research. My

current list of sponsors include JAB

Online Services, Kefi Marketing,

EmPowered Nutrition, among others.

Email voices4impactcuse@gmail.

com if you would like to get your

message out to a new audience by

sponsoring an episode or sharing

your story to help encourage people

to find their passion and purpose.

Danielle is a Nazareth College alum

and is currently pursuing her MBA.

Currently she works as the Senior

Director of Development for a local

nonprofit. In addition, she volunteers

for several organizations in the

community and is a Board Member

for Association for Fundraising

Professionals and a Central New

York Business Journal’s 40 Under

Forty honoree.


{ VOICES FOR IMPACT }

“Spring signifies a renewal, new beginnings and growth. As we move into the next season

of 2021, Voices For Impact podcast is dropping new episodes that center around this

‘rebirth’ theme.”

236 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021


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A REVOLUTIONARY

INNOVATION

BY JOHNNY WILLIAMS

Revolutionary innovation has always

been a key part of what makes Animal

Care Sanctuary special. As one of

the first no-kill shelters in the nation

when we were founded over 50 years

ago, being on the cutting edge of new

ideas to save more lives is a part of

our roots.

We’ve carried that with us over the

years by working hard to be

on that forefront. Nearly 10

years ago, we launched our

own low cost community

veterinary clinic, which

has been a vital part of our

operations and still relatively

uncommon for an animal

shelter. Additionally, our

pre-vet intern program is

one of extremely few in the

country.

And now, we’re looking to

be on the cutting edge to

save more lives once again.

Over the last couple of years,

our cattery began looking at

FIV and FeLV positive cats

more closely. FIV (feline

immunodeficiency virus)

and FeLV (feline leukemia

virus) are similar retroviruses

that only affect cats. In years past, a

cat that tested positive for either of

these viruses was essentially euthanized

automatically – partly because many

shelters generally don’t have the

space to quarantine sick felines with

contagious viruses. These viruses affect

a feline’s immune system, making it

easier for them to get sick – at least

theoretically.

Fortunately, ACS had the space in

our then-recently renovated cattery, so

we started taking in these supposedly

ill cats and housing them in their

own area. However, after months of

caring for these cats, not only did our

staff notice that the felines seemed

perfectly healthy, they showed no

symptoms of any illness at all.

So we slowly started looking for

adopters for these cats. Being as

transparent with potential adopters as

possible, we informed them honestly

about their conditions – that the cat

tested positive for FIV or FeLV and

what that means. But because of the

stigma surrounding these viruses,

finding homes for these otherwise

extremely sweet and adoptable felines

was proving difficult.

But more is being learned around

the country about these viruses. And

the biggest takeaway is how little is

actually known about the viruses. A

recent research article published by

the Humane Society of the United

States helped us confirm what we

were already learning: that these

viruses are not necessarily

deadly, not exceptionally

contagious, and infected cats

are capable of living long,

happy lives. In fact, even

the testing process itself is

not reliable in diagnosing

these viruses.

Armed with this new

information, we’re setting

out to battle the stigma

that FIV and FeLV cats are

deathly ill and unadoptable.

In fact, the three FeLV

felines that we’ve had up

for adoption for months,

have all found homes in

February, including 10-yearold

Pawdme and sevenyear-old

Lando, the latter

of which was with us since

August of last year and even

spent time as our office cat.

So if you’re out looking for a new

feline friend and come across a cat

that is FIV or FeLV positive, don’t

pass them by. In our experience, FIV

and FeLV kitties have been some of

the sweetest felines that have come

through our doors. Give them a

chance.

238 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021


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CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021 239


{ THE ACS CORNER }

“As one of the first no-kill shelters in the nation when we were founded over 50 years ago,

being on the cutting edge of new ideas to save more lives is a part of our roots.”


242 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021

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{ WARRIOR { SHE SHIFT+CONTROL HUSTLES WELLNESS TALKS }}

“THE IMPORTANCE OF REST

AND RECOVERY”

BY ALEXIS TEARNEY KUHL

If you’ve been exercising for a

substantial amount of time, you know

and value the importance of your

routine. Have you given much thought

to your recovery and rest? Many

people think that the “work” is in

the workout. And while

that is true, the real

growth and building of

strength is in your rest

and recovery time. If

you haven’t built

in enough time for

recovery, you may

end up burned out or

injured. This is because

your body isn’t getting

adequate time to repair

itself.

Strength building is

a repetitive process

of breaking down

muscles, and repairing

them. Tiny micro tears

occur, which is normal

and healthy in building

muscle. When balanced

with sufficient time to

rest and recover, the

muscles then rebuild

themselves to a stronger

version of what they

once were.

So how much rest and recovery do

you need? This may vary from one

individual to the next. If we are

discussing sleep, adults need an average

of 7-8 hours per night. Athletes

might need a little bit more. If we are

talking about rest days, that depends

on the person, their routine, their

age, etc. 1-3 rest days per week is

generally a good rule. This rest day

might be a complete day of rest. For

some people, it might include foam

rolling. Others may benefit from a

relaxing walk, gentle stretching, or

yoga.

For longtime athletes who are in a

vigorous program, a complete week

off once every 3-5 weeks might be

necessary. For me personally, I greatly

benefit from this. I usually spend

this week doing plenty of yoga and

Pilates. After my week off, I can

return to my usual routine feeling

excited and strong.

What are the key signs that a rest

recovery period are needed? Here

are some signs:

- an elevated resting heart rate.

- difficulty sleeping.

- feeling burned out,

unmotivated (especially

if this isn’t normal for

you).

- nagging muscle fatigue

and soreness.

Get in tune with your

body and check in every

once in awhile. Knowing

what is normal for you

will help you get the most

out of your routine, while

avoiding injury. This will

set you up for long term

success. And no, a week

or two off will not derail

your efforts. Stay well!

Alexis Tearney Kuhl

owns and operates

Tearney’s Martial Arts.

Since Covid-19, she

has pivoted her karate

and kickboxing classes to an online

virtual format.

She teaches both adults and children

(ages 5 and up). Together with her

husband Jordan, Alexis also owns the

online vintage store Lhük Vintage. You

can follow her in Instagram @

alexistearneykuhl.

CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021 243


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246 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021

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WHEN YOU SAY “MEH”

TO SEX

BY DANIEL ROSEN, LCSW-R, CST

For many women, and men, sex with

a partner is less about exhileration

and more about intimacy, partnership,

role fulfillment, and perhaps even

reducing anxiety about how they

think they are supposed to want sex.

Contrary to popular belief, these

are PERFECTLY NORMAL ways

of thinking about sex. Some may

consider themselves to be demisexual

(a sexual orientation in which one

is attracted to only those to whom

one feels close), or having responsive

desire (feeling desire after feeling

sexually aroused), and some may

even identify as asexual (a sexual

orientation in which people feel little

or no attraction to others).

Many people like all the “extras” from

sex: closeness, intimacy, relaxation,

release, security, comfort, relational

satisfaction, and feeling good about

nurturing and caring for their partner.

If all goes well, a sexual experience that

starts out from a place of willingness

rather than wanting may end up with

that sexual kick of sensation— but it

is like the cherry on a sundae or extra

pepperoni on pizza - it’s an option

one might enjoy (perhaps really, really

enjoy) but not the reason for sitting

down to eat.

You may have been taught that having

an orgasm is the best thing in the

universe. Or, that if you don’t crave

sex, you are not normal. Maybe things

started out the other way— you

could not keep your hands out of

your partner’s pants (or your own).

Sex was exciting and desireable.

You felt satisfied and you satisfied

your partner. But now you feel like

a rotary dial phone, a VHS player,

a dried flower.

You may be the person in a relationship

who feels like this, or you may be in a

relationship with someone who feels

like this. Some “want to want” sex.

Some are desperate to feel wanted.

Some may be old enough to know

the Cheap Trick song “I want you

to want me” and believe this is the

ONLY way to be in a relationship:

everyone feeling equally wanted.

I call this the “Tyranny of Reciprocity”.

This is the idea that unless the balance

is perfectly even at any given moment,

the relationship is unfair or inadequate.

When it comes to sex this manifests as:

“I had an orgasm. Now you need one

too.” Or “you had an orgasm, now I

get one.” Or, “I wanted sex/initiated

sex last time, now its your turn.”

Let’s compare it to other domestic

activities: Do your bodies sleep the

same number of hours? If you had

4 scoops of ice cream and I’m full

after one, do I need to eat 3 more?

I just sneezed and I feel great, now

it’s your turn?

Many couples have what we call

“discrepant desire”— one partner

wants more sex and the other wants

less (or, at least, they want to not

feel bad about wanting less.) Some

couples feel that they get along in

every way except sex. They try to

be happy with this lack of sexual

contact but they want more. This

is common. For many couples, sex

is like a vitamin: you need a certain

amount for the relationship to be

healthy and even if neither of you

wants to take that vitamin, its still

good for both of you in the long

run. In a recent large study of the

factors that contribute to relational

satisfaction, sexual satisfaction was

rated as one of the most influential.

Some strategies people take to address

this:

● Compromise: Jane want sex 4

times a month, Alex wants sex just 1

time a month at a maximum, so they

will try for every other week. (Hint,

not going to work well). Unwanted

sex is unwanted sex whether its with

a husband, a wife, a stranger or a

politician.

● Give up on sex together and try

other partners: This requires lots of

conversation and consent and for

some folks it might just work but

for others it breaks what most people

consider the primary agreement of a

long term relationship— the two of

us together forever. Feeling pushed

into an agreement like this is rarely

helpful.

● Give up on sex altogether: Some

couples will navigate a sexless marriage

well, but many will find that sex is a

key ‘vitamin’ and without it all the

love, compassion, and emotional

intimacy is not enough. All couples,

no matter their age or health status,

can create sex worth having. (A quick

medical note especially for women:

sex should never hurt. If sex is painful,

medical interventions are available.)

CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021 247


{ { SEXUALLY SHIFT+CONTROL SPEAKING } }

“People looking to enhance their sexual relationships need skills, tasks, a mental attitude,

and practice to have more satisfying sex (please note: we are not aiming for “more sex” — we

are going for more satisfying sex.)”

) ● Bully and demand your partner

have more sex because that is

the unspoken expectation of the

relationship/marriage agreement:

this never works. Meaning, while

there may be sex, this is not the way

to feel closer, get more intimate,

or have each party be satisfied. If

the goal is to make just one person

happy, this may make for a peaceful

kingdom. However, somewhere in

there is pain and dissatisfaction, if

not worse— trauma.

There is hope and a better way. At the

Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness

(and other clinics around North

America) there is a new therapy called

Optimal Sexual Experience Groups.

This is a research proven method

for couples with desire discrepancy

or with low/no sex relationships to

improve their sexual relationship. The

Optimal Sexual Experience method

recognizes that everyone is OK just

the way they are. People looking to

enhance their sexual relationships

need skills, tasks, a mental attitude,

and practice to have more satisfying

sex (please note: we are not aiming

for “more sex” — we are going for

more satisfying sex.) Bad sex leads to

a mental attitude of expecting bad

sex which — no surprise — leads

to bad sex.

“Great lovers are made not born.”

Great lovers are similar to great

chefs who learn through dedication,

training, trial and error, and the

addition of their own special sauce.

Some people ARE born with a flair

for flavors — but no great chefs are

made without devoting significant

time and dedication to the practice.

What if you were able to interview

people who felt that they had amazing,

intimate sex and figure out how they

did that? What if you could unleash a

team of researchers to identify exactly

what these folks had in common:

how they talked about sex, felt about

their bodies, experienced in their

bodies, minds, and spirit, what skills

they had, what they thought about

during sex?

Well, this study has been done and

the findings are different from what

you might expect. In Magnificent

Sex, Peggy Kleinplatz and A. Dana

Menard, along with their research

team, decode the components,

facilitators, and pathways to optimal

sexual experiences for couples. Dr.

Kleinplatz has trained teams of group

leaders all over North America to

deliver a carefully crafted group

treatment. At the Rochester Center

for Sexual Wellness, we are honored

to be a part of this ongoing research

into enhancing sexual relationships by

offering Optimal Sexual Experiences

Groups. The 8 session group for

couples is private, confidential, and

includes education, discussion, and

instructions for homeplay. Rochester

Center for Sexual Wellness’ first series

of groups, led by Mr. Rosen and Dr.

Kranz, concluded in December 2020,

with great success. The 6 couples in

the group emerged with new direction

and hope for enhancing their sexual

relationships. The next session is

forming now, are you ready for more

satisfying sex in your relationship?

If you are interested in learning

more about Optimal Sexual

Experiences groups at the Rochester

Center for Sexual Wellness,

please visit our website at www.

rochestercenterforsexualwellness.com

or call (585) 865-3584 to arrange for

an initial assessment to find out if the

groups are right for you. You can find

more information about the Optimal

Sexual Experiences research team and

other pairs of trained therapists at

www.optimalsexualexperiences.com.

Daniel Rosen is a licensed clinical

social worker and an AASECT certified

sex therapist. He is the Behavioral

Medicine Director at the Rochester

Center for Sexual Wellness where he

sees individuals, couples, and provides

group therapy as well as supervising

sex therapists in training on their

way to AASECT certification. He is

a lifelong Rochesterian who nurtures

plants, builds things, and is continually

learning to play the guitar..

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{ { SHIFT+CONTROL YOU MATTER } }

VICARIOUS

BY JUDI SWANSON

Vicarious means to feel how someone

else is feeling through our imaginations.

In Sanskirt the word Muditā “means joy;

especially sympathetic or vicarious joy, or

the pleasure that comes from delighting

in other people’s well-being” as defined

by Wikipedia.

As I was meandering along my life I was

reflecting upon recent joys of people

around me. On Friday, one of the students

I counsel, with the assistance of her

school counselor, applied for college. The

background of this student is rough stuff.

Tons of trauma, hardship, and hurdles to

overcome. You would not know this if

you met her. She comes to school every

day with a smile on her face, does her

work, and gives it her all. A few years

ago she was not sure she would see this

day as she had been suicidal. Her joy,

her Sukha, was pure and heartfelt in this

moment. I felt it and celebrated with her.

“We’re stronger when we cheer each other

one.” Serena Williams

There have been times in my life, too

many, where I did not fully embrace or

experience someone else’s joy. Perhaps

it was because they were experiencing

something I wanted and my unhealthy

envy kicked in, I did not feel they deserved

whatever goodness was occurring (which

reflected my insecurities and ego) or other

reasons I did not totally understand.

What I do know is as I worked on myself,

became more whole and in love with

who I am, I could celebrate someone

else’s joy completely. Even when there

were times I was feeling some envy or

ego, I would cheer the other person on

will all of my gusto. To my surprise, when

I moved beyond my negative feelings

to celebrate someone else, I felt better,

happier, confident.

“How you make others feel about themselves

says a lot about you.” Kushandwizdom

Lately I have been reading “Think Like

A Monk” by Jay Shetty. In one part He

talks about “Reverse Internal Energy”,

how envy, and “Schadenfreude” which

means “taking pleasure in the suffering

of others”. Jay says “When we derive

joy from other people’s failure, we’re

building our houses and pride on the

rocky foundation of someone else’s

imperfection or bad luck.” Think of it

this way as Jay states it “The more we

define ourselves in relation to the people

around us, the more lost we are.”

You know what happens when you

celebrate the joys and accomplishments of

others? It is freeing, beautiful, connecting.

Just imagine if we all began to acknowledge

and support the joy of others with no

negativity? We could have “joy flash

mobs” where we are joyous because of

the accomplishments of someone else.

“When we seek to discover the best in

others, we somehow bring out the best in

ourselves.” William Arthur Ward

Too often in our “comparison culture”

today we rank ourselves by comparing

to others. Relationships, grades, jobs,

vacations, clothes, cars, homes and more.

Guess what? This way of thinking is

destructive to us. Our envy feelings

don’t build us up. They bring us down.

A Psychology Today article states “Envy

has to do with feeling unhappy about

the success of someone else, or about

what they have and, at the same time,

secretly feeling inferior yourself. Instead of

finding success for yourself or improving

yourself, you may be envious and want

what another person has or find yourself

wishing that the other person would

lose that quality or possession in order

to make things seem fair.”

The way to feel better about ourselves

will always be doing the work to like,

and love, ourselves. To combat the voices

of negativity in our heads with ones of

strength and capability. Build on our

confidence and strength. To work towards

what we want to accomplish. To give a

big WAHOO to celebrate the joys of

others. When we expand our joyousness

to beyond ourselves by feeling our Muditā

for others, joy radiates into a world where

more joy needs to be celebrated.

We are not born with low sense of self

and lack of confidence. How life comes

at us, and how we are impacted by life

events, affects us. The great news is we

can change how we feel about ourselves.

An article in Zen Habits states “I strongly

believe that you can do things to increase

your self-confidence. It is not genetic

and you do NOT need to be reliant on

others to increase your self-confidence.

And if you believe that you are not very

competent, not very smart, not very

attractive, etc…that can be changed.”

We all have the power and ability to

change what we believe to be our truth

if we are willing to do the work. We are

worth the work.

You and all of your amazing skills and

talents matter. Let’s Muditā for others

and create flash mobs of joy. Celebrate

each other with gusto. To view others

achievements as inspirations, because if

they can accomplishment something it

means you can too. To see the success of

others as a moment in time to be joyous.

That is the type of world I envision for

all of us.

May your Muditā be with you.

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DANCE IN THE RAIN

BY TAMMY VREELAND

When was the last time you danced

in the rain? Although it may sound

a bit cliché - have you ever danced

in the rain? Thrown caution to the

wind? With April coming up and

bringing showers, this could be your

perfect opportunity!

Most of us may see the rain as

depressing. A grayness that envelopes

us. A longing to see the sun and feel

its warmth to re-energize us.

We need and crave the sun, no doubt.

But without our April showers, there

could be no May flowers. Touché,

right? Yes - without the rain, there

is no true appreciation for the sun.

So, instead of longing for what is

coming. Embrace the now, knowing

it will make the latter - that much

sweeter! No one ever said we could

not enjoy both sides of a yin and

yang situation.

Yin and yang, yet another cliché

saying? Or is it? Is it, as the definition

for cliché goes, a phrase that is overused

and betrays a lack of original thought?

I think not, for when you look at

what yin and yang represent, it is far

from not being original! It is a concept

of opposites that complement each

other. In this case, take our April

showers that will complement our

May flowers.

No fooling, dancing in the rain can

give you just as much enjoyment

as skipping in the sun. Speaking of

fooling, I’d be remiss in acknowledging

another thing April is well known

for... April Fool’s Day! April 1st is,

of course, April Fool’s Day! A perfect

excuse for tomfoolery, but what is it?

Or should I say, who is it? The origin

of tomfoolery seems to come from a

man named Thomas Skelton. Around

1600, he was a jester or a fool for the

Pennington family at the Muncaster

Castle in Britain. He was known

as Tom Fool. It is said he was even

possibly the model for the jester in

William Shakespeare’s play, King

Lear of 1606.

Unfortunately, it seems he wasn’t a

very pleasant man! Tales of him sitting

under a tree by the side of the road

with weary travelers asking him for

directions. Depending on whether he

liked you, he would either tell you

one way or send you on a treacherous

way to the marshes!

Even though that origin seems to be

the most well-known, Tom Fool is

actually centuries older! He started

appearing around in the 1300s as

Thomas Fatuus. The first part, Thomas,

a common name like what we use

today with Tom, Dick or Harry. The

Fatuus part means stupid or foolish.

And yet, how could any of this possibly

tie into our April Fool’s Day? Surely,

April’s Fool Day is a fairly modern-day

made-up celebration? Actually no, it’s

not! Although its exact origins remain

a mystery, some historians speculate

it dates back to 1582. This was when

France switched from a Julian calendar

to the Gregorian calendar.

People who were slow to get the

news continued to celebrate the New

Year during the last week of March

to April 1st. They quickly became

the butt of jokes and pranks for not

knowing the calendar had changed.

One prank was to put paper fish on

their backs, for it meant they were

“easily hooked” or as we may know

as a “gullible” person.

In 1700, English pranksters began

popularizing it by playing practical

jokes on each other. By the 18th

century it had spread. In Scotland,

it became a two-day event, starting

with “hunting the gowk”. Gowk is a

word for cuckoo bird or a symbol for

the Fool. The first day, people were

sent on phony errands. The next day,

Tailie Day, involved pranks played by

pinning fake tails on people’s backside.

I suppose you could say a pre-cursor

to the modern-day version we know

as “kick me” signs!

So, there you have it, the history

of April Fool’s Day. But what is the

future of April Fool’s Day? Some

may think it’s not a good holiday

to take part in. That it can be mean

and even lead to bullying. And yet,

isn’t something - what we make of it?

My point is, of course, April Fool’s

Day should NOT be about being

mean or humiliating. Instead, it

should be a fun day! I think the safest

and most fun way of participating

in April Fool’s Day is to not simply

target one person. A day to make

your co-workers and family smile.

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“We need and crave the sun, no doubt. But without our April showers, there could be no

May flowers. Touché, right? “

When planning a prank, always think

about how you would like it if it was

done to you. Would you laugh it off and

enjoy it, or is it something you would

take to heart and may upset you?

Doesn’t have to be mean, it simply is a

day to have fun and smile. Saying April

Fool’s afterwards may seem foolish to

say, but I guarantee

you it brings a smile

and reminiscence of

when we were kids

trying to fool ole

mom and dad.

Even one of my

favorite writers,

Mark Twain, said,

“The first of April

is the day we

remember what we

are the other 364

days.” There you go,

a perfect example.

Sometimes laughing

at ourselves is the

best joke! Sure, old

holidays may not be

what we want for

this day and age, but

we can make them

what we want.

So, what’s it going to be this year

for you? To be the fool or to play a

fool? Whichever the case, it’s all in

good fun!

And now this brings us to our five

random National April Holidays. A

couple of days to put us in the mood

for the month coming up:

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April 3rd - National Find A Rainbow

Day - What better way to celebrate

Spring than while dancing in the rain

and look for our rainbow. Some of you

may roll your eyes at the thought but

seriously do you want to go through

life never being able to say you danced

in the rain? That you did not search

for rainbows? Doesn’t matter what

your age is, this is obtainable - go

out and do it!

April 12th - National Big Wind

Day - Maybe a good day to go fly a

kite? Yet another thing that has no

age restriction. This is more fun than

you may realize. Pack up and go to

the park. Soar your kite high in the

sky and soon your troubles will float

away too.

April 14th - National Look Up At

The Sky Day - So yes, we definitely

have a theme going on here. Whether

it’s dancing in the rain, looking for

rainbows, flying kites on a blustery day

or simply staring up and making shapes

out of the clouds. April suddenly

becomes more than just a rainy month!

April 24th - Arbor

Day. Arbor Day is

a special day that is

set aside throughout

the world to raise

awareness of trees

and the important

role that they play

in our environment.

All fooling aside,

we need to do our

part so that the

joke won’t be on

our future! Do your

part - go plant a tree

or find an event that

encourages this day

to be celebrated!

April 30th -

National Honesty

Day. Seriously, how

funny is this? April

you start out as a fool only to end

up honest, you are a wild and crazy

month!


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THE FIRST SIGNS OF

MENOPAUSE

BY ANGELA DUNCAN, M.S. AND MARY JANE HAAKE, CPCP

Perimenopause is referred to as the final

cessation of your menstrual cycle and

the time in which you will start the

journey of menopause and menopausal

symptoms. Mood swings, hot flashes,

weight gain and vaginal dryness are just

a few of the signs that you are heading

towards the big change.

Perimenopause is a different journey

for every woman, but on average, it

takes about a year to complete if you

are heading into menopause naturally

(not medically forced). The average age

occurs between 45-55, after which time

you are postmenopausal.

Common signs and symptoms of

perimenopausal include the following:

• Missed Periods

• Hot Flashes

• Weight Gain

• Sleep Deprivation

• Mood Swings

• Sore Breasts

• Chronic Headaches

• Night Sweats

• Memory Problems

• Changes to skin and hair (pH balance

changes)

• Incontinence

As if these symptoms are not enough,

there are a few others that I really want

to focus on.

Vaginal Dryness is an unfortunate

and uncomfortable early warning sign

of menopause. Estrogen is needed to

keep moisture in the skin, hair, eyes

and vagina. Vaginal dryness can cause

uncomfortable and painful sex but

can also lead to other issues such as

vaginal atrophy, which is when there is

thinning of the tissue and even shorting

and tightening of the vaginal canal. It is

important to deal with vaginal dryness

right away. Sex should not be painful

and there are options available to make

sure it never is.

Primary care doctors or gynecologist

may prescribe a type of gel, prescription

medication or a vaginal ring to help with

dryness. Hormone replacement therapy

(HRT) is another option but not all

women can or want to add hormones

back into their body. There are organic

solutions available and it is important to

do your research about those products.

In The Pink moisture drops and intimate

massage oils are estrogen free but work

amazing at putting the moisture back

into the vagina.

Chronic Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs)

are a type of bladder issue that can

affect women in perimenopause. UTI

symptoms include urinating more

frequently which can be painful, dark, or

bloody. Hormone changes are the culprit

to frequent UTIs during menopause.

These changes can cause vaginal bacteria

to change, which increases your risk of

not only getting a bladder infection but

also experiencing them on a chronic basis.

Studies show that menopausal women

tend to have a higher pH measurement,

which can lead to the risk of developing

UTIs. A UTI does not cause a higher

vaginal pH but having a high pH can

increase a person’s risk of developing a

UTI. Reduced estrogen levels during

perimenopause and menopause can

put a person at risk of developing more

infections. In The Pink’s vaginal moisture

drops are designed to provide moisture

which in return helps to keep the pH

in balance.

Decreased Sex Drive can be a symptom

of perimenopause. Studies show that as

women head towards the big change they

often feel one of two extremes. Some feel

sexually liberated now that they are no

longer able to get pregnant, while others

may become self-consciousness and

feel undesirable. The sudden hormone

changes can often lead to feelings of

depression and anxiety as well. For

women it often takes both physical

and mental stimulation. If she is in a

depressed state or lacking self-confidence

because of menopause it can be difficult

for her to become aroused.

Experiencing vaginal dryness and

tender breast can also have an impact

on sexual desires. The idea of pain and

not enjoyment from sex can keep a

woman from being turned on and ready

to go. Hip Hemp’s intimate massage oils

are a great organic solution to vaginal

dryness and pain during intercourse.

With only a few ingredients these plantbased

lubricants are estrogen free and

packed with antioxidants and nutrients.

Although these products are not designed

to increase sex drive, a side effect from

feeling more lubricated and not in

pain can help bring back the desire to

be intimate.

Changes to Skin and Hair are a common

side effect heading into menopause. The

lack of estrogen will soon cause a loss

to fatty tissue and collagen which will

make skin drier and thinner and will

affect the elasticity and lubrication of

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“Mood swings, hot flashes, weight gain and vaginal dryness are just a few of the signs that

you are heading towards the big change.”

the skin near your vagina and urinary

tract. Hair can become brittle and may

even start to fall out. During this time

skin may be more prone to developing

wrinkles as well as acne blemishes and

eczema flare-ups.

Hip Hemp’s In The Pink intimate

massage oils are great to be used from

head to toe and as a lubricant. Hemp

Seed Oil is used as the base or the

carrying oil of these massage oils. This

anti-inflammatory, detoxifying oil and

analgesic properties closely match skins

lipids. Hemp Seed Oil is packed full of

Omega 3 and Linoleic Acids which has

been proven to help with skin elasticity.

The essential oils that are added to the

base oil offers their own benefits of

moisturizing and calming along with

many other satisfying results.

Hip Hemp’s line of In The Pink products

are all estrogen free, organic, and free of

soy, nuts, dairy, fillers, gluten, chemicals

or GMO’s. It is always important to speak

with your doctor about any questions

or concerns related to your health. It is

also a good idea to keep track of your

symptoms you may experience when

you start the journey of menopause

and make sure to communicate those

with doctor as well. There are options

available to help feel comfortable and

confident during this journey of life.


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TRICIA MIG LIORE KU NTZ

Tell us about your business. What

product or service do you provide and

who is your target audience?

My main business is called The Purple

Painted Lady and it is a paint boutique.

In other words, I own a paint shop that

offers products along with support,

advice and workshops. We have sold a

couple of special high-end furniture and

cabinetry paint lines for over 12 years

here in western NY. We like to have fun.

Life is short, so why not enjoy being

at work! My target audience

is anyone who has a piece of

furniture that needs a facelift, or

those who look at their kitchen

cabinets and wish they could

change their look. I can help

these people make their home

look beautiful, but on a budget.

The Purple Painted Lady’s main

store is in Macedon, NY. We

have a showroom, and we also

ship all online sales orders daily.

We also have a second location

of a satellite spot at the Shops

on West Ridge in Greece. We

sell online and, between our

website and social media, have

around 2,000,000 unique visitors

monthly. I have a few products

that are private labeled through our

business also such as brushes. The

Purple Painted Lady has taken on a

life of its own. I play a role in it, but

truly - I am part of a team of some

amazing women that make it what it

is, and I am very grateful....and lucky to

have them because The Purple Painted

Lady would not be what it is without

all of us. My husband Steve is a key

part of some of the technical support

and all of the emotional support he

gives. At The Purple Painted Lady we

sell cabinet and furniture paint, host

workshops and try to provide the best

customer service possible. We carry

a few fantastic paint lines, but it all

started because of Chalk Paint® by Annie

Sloan. It is a flat paint that adheres to

virtually any surface without sanding or

priming. Once painted and dried, we

use a furniture wax or brush on top coat

to seal it. I found this product about

12 years ago and was so blown away

with it after using, I quit my day job

to open a shop...and the rest if history.

Our target audience is anyone who wants

to unify a room by painting a piece

of furniture or is in need of updating

their cabinets in their bath or kitchen.

Besides having our shops - I am the

promoter of the annual market called

The Purple Painted Lady Festival. We

host that the third weekend of September

and have around 350 artist and vendors

from architectural salvage, upcycled

items and painted furniture. It attracts

around 14,000 people and is a lot of fun!

And then lastly- I am in the process of

opening a wedding/event venue focused

on agritourism in Wayne County. It is

called Fig Hollow Barn and we hope

to be formally launched by late 2021.

When did the

entrepreneur bug bite you?

I have always been a

fan of small businesses.

Most of my careers since

graduating college were for

small businesses. I love the

excitement of it - the ups

and downs, the way to make

it grow in unlimited ways

compared to a traditional

job where you work for

someone else and need to

get approval. Honestly,

most of the businesses I have

worked at in my past were

more conservative. I have

always had ideas on how to

make a business better...now I

get to have fun making things happen.

How did you come up with the

name “The Purple Painted Lady”?

I remember when I started out after

my daughter was born in 2005 - it was

initially painting murals. It is funny

how you start in one direction and

then, things have a way of taking on a

life of their own. But anyway- I needed

a business name and I had wanted

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“My main business is called The Purple Painted Lady and it is a paint boutique...

in other words, I own a paint shop that offers products along with support, advice and

workshops.”

The Painted Lady because I live in this

beautiful, colorful Victorian farmhouse

and painted murals in the beginning.

The previous owners of our home were

fun and when we had moved in back in

2003, it was already painted in shades of

periwinkle and then - from a different

angle, I paint for a living. However, the

url was already taken. So, one late night

around midnight my husband and I

were just brainstorming names and

he threw out, “The Purple Painted

Lady.” At first, I wasn’t in love with

it but now, I could not imagine the

business be anything else. It is also

a great name because if you Google

it we are the only business with

that name. Maybe that is because

I ultimately trademarked it, or also

because it is unique. A pretty big

thing when starting a business is to

make sure you choose a name that

there are not already 1000 of.

Are You Happy in what you do

And What Would You Change if

anything?

I live, breathe and dream my business.

Am I happy? Well, I know I may be

a bit insane and sometimes I have a

“love/hate” ralationship with it and

it does get overwhelming. I find for

me, my businesses become like another

child in my life. But yes, I truly love

what I do and there is not one thing I

would change.

Please tell us what being a business

owner means to you and why you

became an entrepreneur in the first

place?

Being a business owner for me is freedom.

I had been in roles working for others

throughout my life and have had ideas,

but working for someone else, there was

not total freedom to create, or to take

chances. Being I am my own boss, the

sky is the limit. Not one idea is too crazy

for me to try if I believe in it. I love

how also, being a business owner allows

me to meet so many different people,

to collaborate with other businesses,

and also support them in helping make

their dreams come true. I do quite a bit

of coaching to other artists and small

businesses. I often think about that

saying, “rising tides raise all ships.” It

is 100% true. Building relationships

with people and other businesses is so

important. I believe that in this world,

you get, what you give. It ultimately

comes full circle.

What or who has been your greatest

influence in business and why?

This is going to sound silly but one time

I was watching a tv show called Flipping

Out on Bravo which is all about this

guy named Jeff Lewis who is a designer.

Back in 2004, I remember watching this

one specific episode where Jeff, who is

the focus of the reality show was having

lunch with his dad. His father said to

him something like, “find a business

where you can make money when

you’re sleeping.” That saying made an

impact on me and I have considered

that in choices and navigating my

business. Being part of the online

sales world was something I decided

to do since in 2021.

What would you say is your greatest

professional accomplishment to date?

Hmm, probably starting and

coordinating our annual art festival and

the way it allows us to help so many

charities and volunteer organizations

through it. Not to mention, creating

a platform that brings people together

with artists. And artist make this

world a much better place to live in!

What kind of person do you

feel makes a successful female

entrepreneur?

This is just my opinion, but a person

who has grit. A person who knows

and believes above all other things, that

their purpose is worthy and so are they

and are willing to role up their sleeves

and dig their heals in . Plus, work more

hours than most people believe exist

in a single day to make dreams into a

reality. A person who is dedicated and

understands that every decision they make

should continuously direct them toward

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“A pretty big thing when starting a business is to make sure you choose a name that there

are not already 1000 of.”

a goal. A person who understands, that

every new encounter with a new person

may be an opportunity. That sounds

like I am embellishing, or writing for

some Hallmark movie, but at the end of

the day, if a person doesn’t have what it

takes to stay on path and keep the pace

for days, months and years on end they

will drop off. I always tell my daughter,

and anyone I am business coaching, that

there is nothing between you and success

except for yourself. Guaranteed there

will be obstacles, set backs, and mistakes

but perserverence, the ability to pivot,

be open to changes and to learn from

all of that will only help you.

I know you created a festival that has

grown substantially over the years.

Tell us about it, and what you think

has been the key to making it a success

year after year.

Keeping it fresh and focusing ultimately

- on the customer service experience

that guests will have when they attend.

We have artist and vendor meetings

through the summer just so we can

convey how important the interaction

with guests attending is. Our artists and

vendors - I believe are the best of the

best. I recruit the artists and believe I

am pretty selective. I have always said

that I want people to leave thinking to

themselves they need to save the date

for the following year because it was so

good they do not want to miss it.

What’s the best advice you have received

in business that you wish to pass on

to our readers?

Yikes, hard to pick just one thing. I

would say, believe in yourself and don’t

over analyze making decisions! Start

small, don’t get in debt to launch a

business. Whatever you choose to do

- be the best at it!

What are the 5 top qualities of being

a successful woman entrepreneur?

Hmm, this is interesting. I think these

qualities are important no matter who

you are, but I would say, being driven

is a must. You need to be willing to put

in the many, many hours of hard work

seven days a week to grow your business.

You need to be flexible and resilient

because change and setbacks are going

to happen. Being a female business

owner can be tough. Believe it or not,

people can have prejudices.

Being positive and grateful is extremely

important.

And depending on the line of business you

are in, being outgoing and friendly. My

business has grown due to relationships

I have built with people that I have met

through the years.

What has been the most effective

marketing initiatives or programs you

have used to promote your business?

Basic old, free social media. The internet

is an amazing thing and has built my

business to where it is today.

What would you say are your strengths

as an entrepreneur?

I think my instincts and being able

to make smart business decisions and

see my future and the growth for my

business and not being afraid to make

it happen. I am a people person. I

love meeting people and networking.

And, I am a risk taker. I like to make

things happen.

What meet ups, local entrepreneur

events, and accelerators do you

recommend that have helped you grow?

Bad question for me - I do not do any of

this. I have found the best mentors for

me are found outside of these types of

groups. I look to other business owners

that I feel have “made it” and who I

respect. Those are the people I like to

learn from. Sometimes, organizations

and events become a bit showy. I want

to get right to the meat and potatoes. If

you have a business idea. Look around

your community or your industry

and find someone who is slaying and

watch how they run it. There is always

something to be learned.

What one thing have you learned as a

small business owner that has served

you well over the years?

So, my response is from the perspective

of a small business owner. Personally,

I have never over extend my credit. I

always paid for everything at the time

I purchased versus taking terms with

another business. I do not ever like

owing money and only grew my business

when financially, I could do it myself.

This theory can differ among people,

but it has served me well.

#Are there any resources or tools you’d

like to share with other small business

owners that have helped you run your

business?

If yes, please describe (and include links

if available). Let me introduce you to

Facebook. LOL My 16 year old daughter

jokes that she remembers when I was

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“I truly love what I do and there is not one thing I would change.”

so excited for my business to hit 500

followers. Now we are approaching

70,000.

Do you have any new projects coming

up (or have you just completed a big

project ~ reached a milestone, etc.)?

If so, please tell us about it. Yes! I

am starting a new

business called Fig

Hollow Barn. It

is an old barn that

we have renovated

on 40 acres focused

on agritourism here

in NY and being a

flexible event space.

We will be hosting

weddings in 2022

and hosting various

farmers markets. It

is extremely exciting

and so much fun

launching this!

What do you do

for fun/relaxation?

Making my dreams

come true. Sorry,

but that is true. But

I also love to paint.

I really love painting

furniture! I love

hosting gatherings

and cookiing dinner

at my home for

friends and family.

What do you do for encouragement

or to be motivated ?

I find networking with other business

owners really encourages me and

sparks a new fire. When I travel

(or did travel prior to 2020- LOL)

See a beautiful curated space is so

inspirational!

How do you balance your

entreprenuer life with family/friends

that don’t understand the challenges

we experience? Honestly, I have

weeded them out of my circle. Joking,

not joking. But seriously, my business

is my life. It is my heart. My small

business is not a hobby. It supports

my family and employs others and

helps them support their families too.

I find that my close circle of friends

and family are very supportive. I

am very grateful for them. If you

have people in your life who are not,

you might need to re-evaluate those

relationship. (not joking)

What is your Number One Business

Goal you plan

to accomplish

in 2021? To up

my social media

game.

Is there anything

else you’d like to

share with our

readers?

Just that 2019 and

2020 have been

hard, difficult

years for so many.

Grant some grace

to others and ....

be as supportive as

you can for your

local businesses.

Yes, Amazon is

convenient and

quick, but if

possible and it

makes sense, try

to support some

of the shops and

restaurants in your

community. They

need you!

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BECOMING INSULIN SENSITIVE

BY DR. YASELLYN DIAZ- VEG A

In this article, I will come back to a

health topic that affect many people,

including many women. I would like to

talk about insulin, insulin resistance and

how to become the opposite of insulin

resistance which is much healthier,

becoming Insulin sensitive.

You probably have heard about insulin

when spoken in regards to diabetes,

pre-diabetes, etc.

But insulin is a very important hormone.

It is released by the pancreas, one of the

organs involved in digestion but also is

responsible in releasing this important

hormone that allows glucose (sugar) to

enter cells which then reduces blood

glucose (blood sugar).

I will try to explain it in a simple way.

This is how the process goes: when we

consume carbohydrates or any food (for

example rice, pasta, starchy vegetables,

etc.) our bodies break down these foods

into its simple forms: glucose, proteins,

fats, etc. Most of the mentioned foods,

are high in carbohydrates and hence will

be broken down into high amount of

glucose, which is a simple sugar used for

energy in our bodies. There are other

types of simple-one molecule sugars such

as: fructose, galactose and ribose. Once

we have broken down these foods into

simple forms of sugar, insulin is released

by the pancreas in response to those

carbohydrates consumed. Insulin then

acts as a train and take the broken down

and digested glucose from the blood

stream and transports it to the liver and

stimulates the making of glucogen in

the liver. Glycogen is a molecule that

stores glucose in the liver. Think of it like

a group of glucose stored, now called

glycogen- like big sugar bags.

In states of insulin resistance, the same

amount of insulin does not have the

same effect on glucose transport and

blood sugar levels. Therefore, blood sugar

levels may appear high. This is caused

when bodies either do not release the

same amount of insulin to take away

the extra-glucose in the blood or the

process is not efficient enough. There are

many causes of insulin resistance. Some

risk factors for insulin resistance include

obesity, little or no physical activity, family

history of diabetes, low vitamin D levels,

various health conditions, and certain

medications. But also, insulin resistance

could be a precursor for a person to

develop diabetes. Insulin resistance- or

the inability of insulin do its function

has been link to many conditions such as

PCOS, hormonal imbalances in women,

infertility, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease

and may increase the risk of cardiovascular

conditions, cancer, arthritis, Alzheimer

and other neurodegenerative diseases and

Autism. Therefore, it is our best interest

to find out more about it and how to

do the opposite. The opposite is to help

our body so that insulin becomes very

efficient in taking the extra glucose from

our blood stream and this will decrease

our risk of diabetes and may improve

our hormone levels.

First, let’s explore signs and symptoms

of insulin resistance.

1. If our fasting glucose (blood sugar

before eating anything in the morning

or after not eating for 12 hrs.) is over

95 mg/dL

2. If our A1C levels are over 6. These levels

are measured through a laboratory test

in the blood and measures the average

sugar in the blood in the past 3 months.

3. If waist circumference (measure

around your body at the level of your

belly buttom) is bigger than hip/buttocks

circumference (this is the measurement

around your hips at the largest/widest

part).

4. If you are constantly feeling tired and

need coffee, energy or sugary drinks to

stay awake and feeling with brain fog

and difficulty concentrating.

5. If you consume a diet high in refine

carbs, or foods with high glycemic

index such as: rice, pasta, potatoes,

cereals, breads, etc. In addition, if you

consume little amounts of Omega 3,

found in fish, nuts or consume high

amounts of alcohol or nitrates (found

in salmi, bologna, cheeses etc)- this can

be another pre-disposing factor.

6. If you have taken for an extended

period of time steroid medications, you

may be more prone to develop insulin

resistance.

In summary, if you have one or several of

those signs and symptoms and suspect

you may be insulin resistance, you should

consult with your medical doctor or health

provider to further explore these signs.

Meanwhile, you should also consider

implementing these recommendations

that will improve the insulin response

and may help to decrease the blood

sugar levels, improve your hormonal and

energy levels, and overall quality of life.

First of all, let’s consider sleeping.

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“You probably have heard about insulin when spoken in regards to diabetes, pre-diabetes,

etc. But insulin is a very important hormone. ”

Catching up with sleep will help insulin

resistance, but meanwhile you work on

getting your good nights of sleep, do

not depend of caffeine. Instead, hydrate

properly by first thing in the morning

drink 12-16 onz. of water or “gel” water

-soluble fibers (that is by juicing carrot

juice, celery juice etc.) these will help

with insulin response.

Secondly consider adding a routine of

regular exercise. When we exercise on

regular basics this helps to move glucose to

glycogen storage for energy and improve

insulin sensitivity and response. According

the Deborah Weatherspoon PhD. RN

from the Medical News Today – when

we exercise, our muscles become more

sensitive to insulin therefore helping to

possibly reverse insulin resistance by

changing into a more active lifestyle.

In addition, it is essential to reduce your

stress levels and decrease or remove

stressors. In a prior article, I mentioned

the effects of stress in our bodies and

how our bodies under chronic stress may

increase the levels of cortisol, therefore

further aggravating the insulin resistance.

Cortisol is a hormone that acts exactly

the opposite of insulin. In the presence

of stress, we release cortisol, and will

make sugar/glucose more available just

in case we need to run or fight to save

our lives.

In our bodies, our response to stress

will be the same, whether the stress is

emotional (like a stressful relationship)

or physical (running away from a lion),

whether is it perceived or real, the body’s

response is the same. In case of stress the

heart rate will increase, glucose levels in

the blood will also increase in case your

body needs more energy to fight that

lion or run away or if you need to think

more rapidly to figure out a situation.

Therefore, it is imperative to decrease

those stressors and improve our response

to those emotional, physical real and

perceived stresses. Meditation, yoga,

prayer, counseling, talking to a good

friend and other forms of stress relievers

will help to decrease cortisol levels and

improve insulin response. Chiropractic

care may help with decreasing your

stress response and regulating your

nervous system.

Other ways to improve your insulin

sensitivity would be to reduce sugar

intake. Reduce added sugars, sugary

drinks, process foods or boxed/canned

foods that often contain preservatives

and may be high in corn syrup.

Consuming Omega 3 fatty acids found

in fish and nuts will also help because

these will decrease inflammation in the

body and improve insulin response.

Adding herbs and spices such as

cinnamon, may help to decrease blood

sugar levels, turmeric (curcumin),

ginger and garlic that are powerful

anti-inflammatories and may help reduce

insulin resistance and improve function.

Along with the already mentioned dietary

changes, consuming fiber, eating plenty

of fruits and vegetables and start juicing

vegetables such as carrots, spinach and

celery will help with the regulation of

gut friendly bacteria which has proven

to help with insulin function.

In addition, if necessary, loose couple

pounds – according to an article published

in Medical News Today, loosing 5.7%

of body weight (this is for a person that

weights about 200lbs. losing about

10-14 pounds – can reduce the risk

of diabetes by 58% and may increase

insulin sensitivity giving the individual

a better function of insulin and less

risks of cardiovascular disease, diabetes,

hormonal problems etc.

Lastly, there are several supplements that

may also help with insulin sensitivity such

as chromium. It is important to consult

with a health provider before starting

the use of this or any supplements.

In conclusion, many of our body’s

responses and hormones are dependent

on how well we balance glucose and

insulin responses, hence making the

goal of becoming insulin sensitive is

paramount in our quest for overall health.

As always, have an amazing month and

until the next one.

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HAVE WE FORGOTTEN HOW

TO TRULY LISTEN?

BY SANDRA COOZE

A conversation is happening between

two parties: the speaker and the listener.

Each one plays a very important part

in this ‘dance’. If we truly listened,

we would hear more than just the

words of our opponent. We would

hear what was not said. We would

hear the true meaning behind the

spoken words.

Let me tell you a little story: a couple

of weeks ago, my son came into our

bedroom at night – it must have been

around midnight. This was unusual.

Normally, he would just go to the

bathroom and then straight back to

bed. Well, he did not say anything

while standing next to me, then turned

around and went to the bathroom

and then back to sleep. Still, it was

a bit strange.

The next day, he did not remember

the incident, as I had expected. That

evening though, when my husband

brought him to bed, he suddenly

erupted into a panic. He started

to cry and scream hysterically that

he did not want to go to sleep and

dream about him dying again. So he

must have had a nightmare the night

before about him being dead. My

husband could not calm him down

and our son called for me.

Seeing my son in such distress was

heartbreaking. Normally, I would

have held him and hoped that his fear

would disappear and that he would

calm down, but I would probably not

have been able to shift his mindset.

I would not have known what to

do in that moment. Well, thanks

to my coaching education, I was

trained for situations like this one.

When I held my son in my arms, I

instinctively went into ‘coach position’

and just listened. I heard him repeat:

“I do not want to dream about dying

anymore!” So, I asked: “Well, what

do you want to dream about?” That

was the million-dollar question. That

was the question that moved him

out of his terrified mindset almost

instantly. He said: “I want to dream

about something fun.” So I asked him

to tell me about a time when he had

fun and he started talking about the

playground the other day, and the kids

he played with and he laughed and

was happy again. This happened in

a matter of less than 3 minutes after

I took him into my arms.

He went to sleep happily that night,

hopefully dreaming about his time

on the playground.

What happened here was, that I was

solely focusing my attention on him.

Generally, we focus our attention to

the problem and try to find a solution,

so focusing our attention within

ourselves to find the answer. In this

case, I did not focus on myself at all,

I was just listening to my child and

responded to what he was telling me.

The thing with listening is that for the

most part, we listen with an agenda.

We listen to either reply, we listen to

give advice, we listen to talk about

ourselves. But we hardly ever listen

just to listen. Which means that

while the other person is talking, we

are only half listening because in our

mind we already work on the reply.

Many people feel that they are being

misunderstood or that people receive

what was said in the wrong way.

Well, as a speaker, we can bend over

backwards all we want to get our

message across. If a person comes with

a specific mindset, they are bound to

misunderstand since they are guided

by their emotions, limiting beliefs,

self-sabotaging behavior, or current

state of mind.

And yet most people are afraid to ask

whether what they heard was truly

what the speaker meant. And so we

rather feel hurt – often for no reason

at all, than having our fears confirmed

that the person who talked said what

we understood on purpose.

So, what can we do to resolve

a brooding dispute over spoken

words before it can manifest itself in

resentment? We have to overcome our

fear and ask the speaker if what we

understood is what he/she meant to

say. In most cases, the answer will be

no. Don’t assume that someone who

tells you something is trying to hurt

you. Most of the time, it is your own

mind that creates this assumption.

Our emotions can become a tricky

part in conversations. Therefore, don’t

focus on how you feel, but solely on

what the other person is saying. Don’t

shift your thoughts toward what you

want to reply. You can do that after

you heard every word.

Truly listen to what is said. You will

hear so much more!

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EMERGENCY

PREPAREDNESS

BY TRACY SIMONE

What if you had to leave your house

in a hurry? Would you be ready?

So many people would not know

what to do if the power were out

for more than a few hours.

Whether there is a

major storm coming, a

government lockdown, or

even civil unrest, we need

to always be prepared. We

cannot afford to assume

that something cannot

happen where we live.

Years ago, the police came

through my neighborhood

knocking on all the doors

and making everyone

evacuate because there

was a gas leak in the area.

In many areas all over

the country, there are

power lined that are above

ground. This leaves them

vulnerable to wind or

ice storms, felled trees,

vehicles hitting poles and

transformers, and even

damage from animals.

When a storm is coming,

you do not want to be in

the crowd that rushes to the store.

You want to already be ready for most

things that could happen.

Of course, we can never predict

every possible type of incident, but

each of us can have a basic level of

preparedness. Most people have a

couple of flashlights and extra batteries

and candles. That, however, will

not keep you warm if it is winter and

there is a multi-day outage. Make

sure at a minimum that you have

a way to create electricity. This is

especially important if you or someone

in your household takes medication

that requires refrigeration.

In fact, food, water and any needed

medicine are the must haves that you

should make sure to keep on hand.

We do not want to break the bank

preparing, but it makes great sense

to pick up a few extra cans of food

and things for hygiene each time we

go out. Before you know it, you will

have built up a decent stockpile of

required items. Water is the most

important because you cannot live

without it. You can last longer with

water than with just food alone.

Safety is also something to consider.

This includes your

environment. If your

living area uses gas or

electricity for heating and

cooling and those sources

of power are not available,

what will you do? Every

home should have some

alternate way to power

critical items. Consider

getting a device that can

heat part of your home in

case the regular source is

out for a while. Propane

heaters can be found fairly

inexpensively, but make

sure to get something that

is safe to run indoors.

Generators can be pricey,

but are invaluable in an

emergency. These can

be gas, propane or even

solar powered. Shop

around and save up for

one if you need to. In a

true emergency, you will

be very glad that you did

your research and now have a way

to run a fan in the summer or can

keep your refrigerator going without

too much concern.

Do you have a way to cook food?

There are butane camping stoves that

can be used indoors if handled safely.

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HAPPY WOMEN’S

HERSTORY MONTH!!!

BY DR. ANIKA SIMONE JOHNSON

This is a great time to celebrate yourself

and every milestone in your life. You

are such a dynamic woman who

deserves to be rewarded for all your

accomplishments. I celebrate you in

your personal and career achievements

and I want to encourage you

to always celebrate yourself.

How you celebrate yourself

will always be a reflection

to how others celebrate

you. Do it BIG!!! YOU

DESERVE IT ALL!

To celebrate yourself this

month I would like you

to step up your makeup

routine. Who does not

LOVE a polished flawless

makeup look while on a

zoom call and social distance

dinner date? This is what

you need: 1. Foundation 2.

Concealer 3. Brow pencil

or powder 4. Powder (loose

or press) 5. Mascara 6.

Blush and 7. Red lipstick.

Many of us have not used

our makeup in months

due to the pandemic and

requirements of wearing a

mask. Therefore, check your

makeup bag and toss out

those old makeup products.

How can you tell

Use these easy tips to check your

makeup cosmetics to make sure they

have not expired.

The makeup product may be stamped

with a 6M or 12M on it or on the

original packaging if you did not

throw it away. All makeup expires

eventually and other ways to tell if

a product is expired is by smelling

it. If the product has a peculiar odor

or smells slightly off, texture and

color has changed, it may be expired.

Understanding the shelf life of makeup

cosmetics will help you maintain

healthy makeup habits including a

flawless makeup look.

When to throw it away

Foundation and concealer (12-18

months), Powder products (12-18

months), Cream products (12-18

months), Mascara (3-6 months),

Lipstick/lip-gloss (18-24 months)

and Liquid eyeliner (3-6 months).

Now that you are ready to clear out

your makeup bag remember if you

do not know when you opened

a product it is most likely

expired but follow the ‘how

can you tell tips.’ Take a deep

breath, toss it out and plan a

day to treat yourself to your

favorite makeup replacements.

You now have permission to

just do it!

It may be easier to purchase

your makeup online so be

sure to check out www.

drjbeauty.com to repurchase

your makeup favorites, use

coupon code 15OFFMA at

check out. If you need to get

out the house visit your local

makeup emporium.

After you have all your makeup

products, adorn yourself

with a flawless makeup look.

Share and tag your beautiful

photos with me for repost

on IG@allthingsdr.j.beauty

#WHMflawlessmakeup

#allthingsdrjbeauty

Vibrate Higher

All Things Dr. J. Beauty

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“This is a great time to celebrate yourself and every milestone in your life. You are such a

dynamic woman who deserves to be rewarded for all your accomplishments.”

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A CONVERSATION

BY LAURI MCNIGHT I PHOTOS BY SANDY ARENA

Between Lauri McKnight, Children

Awaiting Parents’ Executive Director

and Sandy Arena, Worth More Nation

Founder

In March, Children Waiting Parents

(CAP) Executive Director Lauri

McKnight was honored to be guest

speaker at Worth More Nation’s (WMN)

annual fundraising fashion show.

As CAP and WMN have a strong,

shared bond, Lauri and WMN

Founder Sandy Arena had the

following conversation about

children—particularly the needs

of girls—currently or formerly

in foster care.

LM: How was Worth More

Nation founded, and what drew

you to this mission/passion?

SA: I founded Worth More

Nation (WMN) in 2016 with

the vision to empower girls

and young women. The name

came to me while praying and

running on a treadmill at the

Pittsford Y! I was a former faithbased

dance studio owner and

founder/director of a faith-based

traveling ballet company working

with thousands of girls over the

years producing programs and

shows with higher purpose. We

transitioned the directorship of

that organization to my oldest daughter

Alexis, who since made it her own. While

I was still involved in the organization—

mentoring her as needed and serving

as her professional photographer—I

dearly missed working with children

and young people and was ready again

for something of my own.

I then registered the name and created

a template for a social media and online

presence, and then let the name sit as

I had no idea specifically what Worth

More Nation would be, or how it would

serve. All I knew was that I wanted to

empower young ladies and girls to gain

confidence and inner strength and to

know their worth.

It wasn’t until the following year in

2017—through my personal involvement

fostering children in our home, as well

as working in the pageantry and fashion

industries as a photographer and also

“Momager” to my youngest daughter

Annaliese—that WMN would become

better defined as an organization that

would help girls know their worth

through fashion, pageantry and giving

initiatives.

LM: What drew you to this mission/

passion?

SA: I was sexually abused as a child by

my grandfather and suffered through

moving to a new home or

town at least every other

year. I had lived in 25 homes

by the time I graduated

from high school, including

four homes during the first

year of my life. My father

was an alcoholic and my

parents divorced when I was

a young teen. I knew from

experience that early trauma

had a way of whispering the

lie that you don’t matter

and that you are less than

those around you. I became

passionate about helping

girls and young women

rise out of traumatic times

to live out their God-given

destinies with the knowledge

that they are ENOUGH

and that they are Worth

More.

LM: Why is this so

important for the

participants? What kind

of results are you seeing?

SA: I had seen with my own daughter that

participating in pageants, fashion shows

and fashion shoots and wearing beautiful

garments—if done compassionately and

correctly —had a way of boosting her

confidence and bringing her joy while

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“I see the power of these moments to transform girls where they would hold their head

higher, smile more brightly, or walk with more confidence.”

she made new friends and developed

poise, presentation, public speaking and

advocacy skills for a lifetime. I see the

power of these moments to transform

girls where they would hold their head

higher, smile more brightly, or walk

with more confidence. I see the power

of a dress to transform and to set the

stage for what could be. I see a shy

demeanor turn to triumph when girls

would gather the confidence to walk

on a stage or speak in a microphone. I

see them light up in the appreciation

of applause, and in the glory of being

seen and noticed.

Through WMN’s initiatives and programs

then, I wanted to provide girls in need

of a boost and coming out of traumatic

places that same opportunity regardless

of their support systems or abilities to

pay. I wanted to give girls that same

healing balm.

LM: Who can participate, and what

is the process?

SA: Specifically, WMN offers an annual

Miss Worth More Nation Pageant

where girls impacted by foster care

or any kind of trauma are invited to

participate at no charge. These include

girls who are in foster care, girls who

have been adopted through foster care,

girls who have aged out of foster care,

and girls who are siblings in families

who foster. We also work with girls

who join families through any kind of

adoption circumstance.

At the pageant, each girl receives a gown

and a dress to wear in the pageant and

take home, as well as a Miss Worth

More Nation banner, crown and t-shirt.

At the pageant, the girls are mentored

by professional models and pageant

girls as well as leaders in the foster care

community. They are taught poise, public

speaking and presentation skills, and

the end of the program, they showcase

the skills they learn on a beautiful stage

in front of an audience. Because of the

confidentiality and nature of foster care

in some circumstances where girls are

still in the system, our pageants are not

open to the public and are attended by

family and friends.

LM: Where do you get your dresses?

SA: We have a special occasion closet

filled with hundreds of gorgeous, barely

worn gowns and cocktail dresses that

has been donated to us mostly through

the national pageant community. As

word spreads, more dresses show up

at our doorstep, and our headquarters

is filled to capacity with tulle, sequins

and glitter! The girls and young ladies

we serve are invited to take dresses

for their own personal use for proms,

adoption ceremonies, school concerts

and events, and even just for fun. As

quickly as they come in, we want them

to go out again! We also use the gowns

and dresses for our Miss Worth More

Nation Pageant, as well as to showcase

them on the runway at our Fashion

Show Fundraisers featuring girls who

have been in our Worth More Nation

pageants, as well as professional models

and pageant girls from other pageant

systems. These fundraisers support the

pageant so we can offer them for free.

LM: What’s the biggest take-away?

SA: My biggest take-away for our

participants in our Miss Worth More

Nation Pageant for Girls impacted

by Foster Care and Trauma, or our

empowerment fashion shows and photo

shoots is that they would feel appreciated,

confident and supported. We want

them to see what could be and realize

their potential. We want them to know

their worth and value and to embrace

the idea of a future without limit. We

want them to dream bigger and to walk

into those dreams with confidence. We

want them to meet new friends, find new

mentors and gather in a community of

support. We want them to know they

are loved and cherished and that they

matter, and that there is a giant team of

Worth More Nation volunteers behind

them who cares.

I am a woman of faith who believes that

God created each person with a purpose,

plan and destiny to bring them hope and

a good future. When trauma enters into

your life as a child—through no fault

your own—the unconscious messages

often are that it is your fault and that

you are unworthy. It is so important

to girls and young ladies experiencing

hard circumstances to break out of those

negative mindsets and to find inner

value and purpose to break free to a

new future. I know this from personal

hardship and experience.

LM: What kind of funding support

do you receive?

SA: We have been supported by the

upstate New York and national pageant

and fashion community who have

embraced our idea of building confidence

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{ CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS }

“As CAP and WMN have a strong, shared bond, Lauri and WMN Founder Sandy

Arena had the following conversation about children—particularly the needs of girls—

currently or formerly in foster care.”

and self-worth because they know from

their own personal experiences that

pageantry with purpose and fashion on

the runway can be powerful. I always

joke that if you want something done,

ask a pageant girl and pageant mom. I

have found these girls and women to be

goal oriented, compassionate, and service

oriented. They are the ones collecting

and shipping us the dresses and gowns

that our participants wear on stage and

bring home. We also have received a

tremendous amount of support from

the foster care community, professional

photographers, and from our local and

school communities. All of our goals

have been accomplished through inkind

donations of gowns and dresses,

and fundraising efforts.

LM: What do you want the world to

know about Worth More Nation?

SA: I want the world to know that

we are here to help all girls and young

ladies in need of a boost to know and

understand their worth, and that we do

it through the power of pageantry with

a purpose, fashion, advocacy, and giving.

There are so many broken children and

young people in this world, and it is

within our power to come alongside to

guide and offer our love, support and

healing. Glitter is our gig and it is fun,

happy and impactful!

LM: What are your next goals?

SA: To take Worth More Nation to a

higher level, our next goal is to become

a 501(c)(3) organization to open up

new levels of funding to expand our

programs. My goal is to have a Miss

Worth More Nation Pageant in every

state. I want to gather girls from across

the country in the Finger Lakes area for

an annual, national pageant to showcase

on a national stage to help advocacy and

to be connected to a community. We

need funding support for legal fees for

the 501(c)(3), and for event production

fees. A crown, banner, and t-shirt package

costs approximately $60 per girl, never

mind the venue and production costs to

produce a top notch pageant event. We

only want the best for the girls we serve!

Another goal is to beautify our Worth

More Nation dress closet. To keep

our expenses down, the dress closet

is currently located in a spacious and

separate apartment area in our home. Last

year, we held a fashion show fundraiser

to raise money to put down new flooring

in the closet. The floors are currently

crumbling and we have makeshift rugs

to try to cover them. We ended up

donating that money to support a local

foster care family who had tragically

lost one of their children that they had

adopted through foster care. They were

collecting money to give him the funeral

service he deserved, and we felt that was

more important to support than our

flooring needs. Girls come to the closet

for fittings for our pageants and fashion

shows, and I would love for them to

have a top notch boutique experience

when trying on the dresses, because after

all, that is part of the fun and joy in the

confidence building journey!

LM: Who has been involved behind

the scenes, and how have they helped?

SA: My entire family—including husband

Sam, son Caleb, son-in-law John, and

daughters Alexis and Annaliese have

been deeply supportive of WMN. They

do everything from moving dresses

and show equipment from one place

to another; hauling props and gowns

to our empowerment photo shoots;

working backstage as dressing room

attendants or backstage managers; to

performing dance productions on our

stages. My oldest daughter Alexis has

been so gracious in sharing her dance

company at our shows.

My youngest daughter Annaliese,

however, has been the most involved

in the administrative work behind the

scenes, helping to keep the dress closet

organized along with other local pageant

volunteers, helping with all of the dress

fittings, and, as a professional model

and pageant titleholder for the past

nine years, teaching and demonstrating

staging and public speaking skills to

our participants. She also serves as our

emcee, as she is very comfortable in the

spotlight and has excellent public speaking

skills, learned through participating

in pageants! Annaliese has held many

pageant titles over the years and has

walked in many fashion shows. She is

the current Miss Guam High School

America and will compete for the title

of Miss High School America 2021 in

June in Little Rock, Arkansas. Visit her

LinkTree to connect with her online:

https://linktr.ee/AnnalieseArena

For more information about Worth More

Nation, visit www.worthmorenation.org.

Facebook: worthmorenation; Instagram:

@worth_more_nation; Youtube: Worth

More Nation.

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Help Us Find

Forever Families

for Children

Waiting the

Longest in

Foster Care.

At Children Awaiting Parents we provide:

Pre- and post-adoption services

Support services for youth aging out of foster care

MAPP training for prospective adoptive parents

Support groups

childrenawaitingparents.org I 585-232-5110 or 888-835-8802

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294 CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE MARCH/APRIL EDITION 2021

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CHANGE YOUR NAME

BY ROBIN DEWIND

I decided to take my name back.

I never changed it professionally, but

legally I did for eight years when I

was no longer ‘De Wind’.

I secretly worried if I was hit by a car

and died suddenly, I did not want to

be buried with the wrong last name.

That would kill me.

At the time I worked down the

street from the Social Security

Administration which I thought

was the first stop on the journey

back to my old self.

You must show up in person and start

the process of proving who you are all

over again. It requires an application,

and proof of who I used to be.

Who was I?

With the stroke of a pen, I had easily

become someone else.

Now I was in a long line on my lunch

hour jumping through several hoops

trying to prove my name. The SSA

can easily compete with the DVM as

a legal abyss to be avoided at all costs.

I waited in line for well over my

‘hour’ only to be told when they

called my name that I did not have

enough of the right documentation

to prove I was me.

My license, credit cards, bills, bank

accounts all said otherwise. My birth

certificate was a copy and not good

enough for the woman on the other

side of the glass who smiled and said

“next”.

I had nothing to prove who I used

to be.

After traveling to the Monroe County

department of records to get a new

birth certificate, I was back in business.

I was also back in line again on yet

another lunch break at the SSA.

There was a new lady, but unfortunately

the same old reaction; do not pass

go, and head directly to the DMV,

and you are certainly not collecting

your name legally just yet.

The Department of Motor Vehicles

was happy to let me be ‘me’ again.

After I waited in the fourth line on

my journey, they took my picture

and there I was.

My, name address, and a check for

$65 proved I was Robin Lea De Wind.

Unfortunately, my new best friends

at the Social Security office informed

me, that I needed to check my divorce

decree to see if it had given me

permission to take my surname back.

Permission?

Are you kidding me?

If my divorce decree did not give

me the right to revert back to my

maiden name, I would have to file

with New York State to formally

turn back time.

When I returned home, I found

my papers and on the very last page

of the lengthy agreement, there it

was; the permission I needed to feel

whole again.

I am convinced now, that my herculean

effort was not about shedding my

name but shaking off how I felt about

myself for all those years.

I was in my late thirties and had finally

achieved my life goals. I had my dream

job, a house, and a beautiful baby

girl. But eventually the pressure of

having it all left me feeling insecure

and needing to be so in control, I was

emotionally out of control.

It felt easy and natural to start throwing

out a few insults - at myself.

All my name-calling left me feeling

unworthy, limited, and guilty.

Fat, bitch, and old topped my personal

list.

I feared that if I did not voice my

imperfections out loud first, someone

else would. I had given myself so

many labels it did not matter what

my real name was. I had already renamed

myself.

This is what I have learned since

those days of having it all.

Changing an unhappy life is a

painful and lonely road but I highly

recommend it.

It took years but all my name-calling,

ended up speaking some truth.

I am finally through menopause so

of course I have gained some weight,

but I will never utter the “f” word

again, it is so defeating.


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“ I am secure in my abilities, and instead of having to be “in control” I have faith it will

all be okay.”

I certainly am a “bitch” but sometimes

it is necessary.

I am old(er) and grateful for the

wisdom and perspective that comes

with life experience.

I am a mother, a daughter, and a

business owner. I decided to use

my real name as part of my business

because it is my brand, it is who I

am, and I am proud of the multiple

trips it took to reclaim myself again.

I am now in my late fifties and have

finally achieved my life goals. I have

a dream job, a new house, and my

beautiful baby girl is now growing

into a young woman. I am secure in

my abilities, and instead of having

to be “in control” I have faith it will

all be okay.

I now choose to call myself valuable,

loved and forgiven.

My new names are not listed on any

formal document and I no longer

need to ask permission or prove my

identity to anyone.

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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@G MAIL.COM

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WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH

BY BONNIE FLOYD

March 1 marked the beginning of

Women’s History Month. This annual

celebration of women’s historical and

contemporary achievements takes on

special significance this year. Many

of the 2020 events for the centennial

celebrations of women’s suffrage needed

to be cancelled due to the COVID-19

pandemic. The theme for this year’s

Women’s History Month is extended

from the 2020 theme, “Valiant Women

of the Vote: Refusing to be Silenced.”

According to womenshistorymonth.

gov, Women’s History Month has

been designated as an opportunity to

commemorate and encourage the study,

observance, and contributions of women

in American history. The contributions

of women have an unappealing history

of having been heavily overshadowed

by the accomplishments of their male

counterparts.

Some may question the need for

designating a Women’s History Month,

as some may have formerly questioned

the need for a Black History Month.

As ongoing racially oriented discussions

have proven, the needs and aspirations

of the oppressed are often overshadowed

by the voices of the dominant.

Women’s History Month first traces its

roots to March 8, 1857, when women

from New York City factories banded

together to protest poor working

conditions. The first Women’s Day

celebration was held in New York,

in 1909. The United Nations first

recognized International Women’s Day

on March 8, 1975. Around that same

time, historians developed the idea of

selecting March as the celebration of

women’s significant contributions to

history. In 1980, President Jimmy Carter

designated the first official National

Women’s History Week, beginning on

March 8 of thar year. Congress declared

March 1987 as the first official Women’s

History Month. These developers were

acutely aware that women’s contributions

to history have been seriously overlooked.

Unfortunately, this remains true to

varying degrees.

Personally, I recall my educational

experiences as being predominately

marked by hailing the achievements

of men, as opposed to those made by

women. I remember my dismay in

finding out the truth behind the discovery

of the double helix shape of DNA. James

Watson and Francis Crick are commonly

believed to have been instrumental in

this monumental discovery; however,

Watson and Crick based their work on

one of their colleagues’ research. In the

early 1950s, Rosalind Franklin was the

one whose images of DNA proteins

revealed a helix shape.

Despite these historical inequities, women

have made remarkable strides in diverse

types of careers. Women own about

40% of U.S. businesses, a statistic which

is up 114% in the last twenty years.

According to the Association of American

Medical Colleges, for the first time in

2019, women comprised 50.5% of

medical school students. In 2018, the

American Bar Association stated that

women comprised 52% of law school

students. With respect to my career as

a clinical psychologist, a 2017 statistic

revealed that 75% of doctoral degrees

in psychology were awarded to women.

Unfortunately, women’s advances in

traditionally male-dominated fields

have not been matched by equal pay.

By recognizing women’s contributions

to history, young girls are awakened to

a world of possibilities for their own

futures. This realization was evident

while watching television coverage of

Vice-President Kamala Harris’ swearingin

ceremony. Young girls everywhere,

for the very first time, could imagine

that they, too, could one day ascend

to such a lofty position. Little girls of

color could finally say that their vicepresident

looked like them.

The purpose of Women’s History Month

was recently amplified by inequalities

women have faced secondary to the

COVID-19 pandemic. These inequalities

include pay disparities; women still only

make 77 cents for every dollar earned

by men. In addition, one in every three

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MENTALLY

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MENTAL THINKING HEALTH

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} }

“Each of us as women has a responsibility to honor the sacrifices of women who have come

before us, women who-often against all odds-have succeeded in accomplishing monumental

tasks, without having received adequate recognition and respect for their efforts”

women will face gender violence in her

lifetime. Due to the pandemic, women

have been disproportionately faced with

homeschooling their children, while

simultaneously attempting to work

remotely. I truly applaud those women

who have continued to balance workrelated

Zoom calls while simultaneously

assisting their children with online

education.

Each of us as women has a responsibility

to honor the sacrifices of women who

have come before us, women whooften

against all odds-have succeeded

in accomplishing monumental tasks,

without having received adequate

recognition and respect for their efforts.