June 2021 Parenta Magazine

Celebrating difference and
neurodivergence - part 3
Other people are different on the inside
This article is the third article in a series of six from Sensory Engagement and Inclusion Specialist,
Joanna Grace, the activities described in each article build up to form a toolkit for celebrating
difference and neurodivergence within your setting in a way that will benefit both the children and
the adults. Joanna runs online training courses focused on strategies for supporting differently-abled
children and promoting inclusive practice. Click here for more information.
In articles one and two, we explored simple
activities to get children thinking about
their internal and external differences and
we have repeatedly challenged ourselves
to discuss these differences with children
using non-judgemental language. A
challenge, those of you who have taken
it, I am sure will have discovered is harder
that it first appears! The activity associated
with this article is going to extend that
thinking for the children even further, as
they consider not just their own differences
but the differences of others. But before we
move on to that, it’s worth stopping to ask
why we are doing this.
Recognising and accepting difference
allows everyone to be more authentically
themselves. In addition to this, there
are two big reasons why it is especially
valuable for neurodivergent people, and
especially so in the early years.
Firstly
When we publicly acknowledge that the
internal workings of people’s brains are
different, and we do this in an open and
pragmatic manner, we protect against the
misunderstandings that occur when people
presume all brains work in the same way.
I always like to draw the analogy between
different types of computer software
and hardware. Imagine you have two
different computers: one Apple machine,
one Windows. Both work. But they do
so in different ways. When you try to run
a Windows programme on the Apple
computer, it doesn’t work. Not because
the computer is broken, or the programme
is wrong, but simply because of the
mismatch.
A lot of neurodivergent people grow up
in environments set up for neurotypical
people, receiving instructions that work
for neurotypical people. When those
environments and teaching strategies do
not work for them, they are labelled as
broken or disabled, when in fact, what
they are, is different. Think about how
careful you have been being about talking
about difference using non-judgemental
language. As you reflect on the impact of
the misunderstanding described above
you can appreciate the value in your
carefully chosen words.
Secondly
Tremendous damage is caused by
the narratives that develop around
neurodivergent people. I am a big
research geek, if you follow me on
Twitter (@Jo3Grace) you will know how
much I value researched-based practice
and how much research I consume. When
you explore the long term outcomes for
neurodivergent people, so many of the
struggles they face in later life are not
a consequence of their difference but
a consequence of the narratives that
surround their difference.
Here is an example. A child is born with
a neurodivergent condition. One aspect
of this condition is that they have different
sleep patterns (this is a common feature
of many neurodivergent conditions). Of
course they look externally like any other
baby, and no one knows as yet that they
are different on the inside. They struggle
to sleep, they are described as a “fussy”
baby. They get older, in their toddler
years the way they process language
is different to their neurotypical peers
(again this is common for neurodivergent
conditions) receiving instructions they
struggle to follow they often do not do
as they are told. The adults around them
refer to them as “naughty” and they
receive various punishments. They move
on to primary school where their sensory
processing differences (again common
in neurodivergent communities) make it
difficult for them to sit still and focus on
their work. The adults around them refer to
them as “difficult”. All the while the story is
developing that the problem is them. “Of
course he is a naughty child, he was such
a fussy baby what did you expect?” “He’s
being difficult again, he’s always been like
this, even as a baby he was so fussy.”
When they hit their teenage years, their
understanding of self is made up out of
these stories. They believe themselves
to be wrong in some way, to be lesser,
to be bad. Their self esteem is low. They
notice their difference from their peers and
interpret it in the same way that the adults
they have experienced in their life have
taught them to do so. They witness their
peers achieving and themselves failing,
and they blame themselves.
It is no surprise that when I read the
research surrounding these populations,
I find increased rates of mental ill health,
greater likelihood of self-harm or substance
abuse, greater risk of dying by suicide,
lower rates of employment, and so on.
It starts small but the language we use
around difference is the beginnings of these
stories. It is the stories, not the conditions,
that cause the low self esteem and the
mental health difficulties; these stories are
dangerous.
For a wonderfully positive example, I
remember a young man who showed me
around the special school that I worked at
when I was a newly qualified teacher. He
was about 14 when I started at the school
and as a member of the school council, he
had been tasked with giving me, the new
teacher, a tour of the school. He started
out by smartly introducing himself, clearly
proud of the responsibility he had been
given. He then immediately said “I have a
learning disability, it can take me longer to
understand things, and it helps me if you
show me anything you want to explain as
well as tell me about it.” And in his next
breath he went on to talk about how good
he was at swimming.
I was so impressed. Here was a child who
had been openly talked to about their
difference, in his first utterances to me, he
had already given me strategies I could
use to support his understanding, and he
had celebrated his abilities. That young
man will have faced struggles in his life as
he attempted to learn new skills, but the
confidence he had in himself, knowing who
he was and how his brain worked will, I’m
sure, have equipped him to meet those
struggles and overcome them. Imagine
who he would be if he had felt that his
difficulties in learning were in some way his
fault? Which leads me on to why this is so
important in the early years:
Early years
Often times, in early years settings you are
supporting children who may be diagnosed
with a neurodivergent condition later on in
their lives. The differences between children
become more apparent with age. But
the impression we make and the stories
we tell when children are small are the
foundations for the stories other people will
tell. Do you describe the child as “bossy”
or as having “leadership skills”? Do you
say “Peter always fidgets” or “Peter’s body
likes to move”? The differences are subtle
but they set a direction now that points to
where that child might end up. The nuances
matter.
Imagine a start point, and an arrow
pointing out from that start point. We direct
this arrow with our utterances. It points to
where that child ends up. The difference
between “Peter always fidgets” and “Peter’s
body likes to move” is small but the nuance
matters. “Peter always fidgets” blames
Peter, it is something he does, and it always
has a notion of value judgement. Add to
that the tone in which it is said and the
arrow points very definitely in one direction.
“Peter’s body likes to move” is very different,
it’s now not Peter himself, but his body, and
the “likes to move” could be used positively
in a different context; “Let’s choose Peter for
this game because his body likes to move.”
The arrow points in a different way. Your
words set the direction. The child grows and
moves in that direct, a difference of a few
degrees now can make a huge difference
between where that child ends up.
So set yourself that challenge again, that
I have set you in all three of these articles:
How can you tweak how you talk about
difference to remove the judgement?
Explore different turns of phrase, which
would be best? Where do they lead?
The task for the children is to make a reveal
picture as before, but this time, not of
themselves but of someone else. It could be
fun to do one for a child in a book so that
everyone is thinking about the same child.
The question the children are answering
is “What do you think they are thinking?” It
is a very hard question, and you can offer
support by giving possible answers. You
could pair them up with friends and ask
them to draw their friend thinking about
their favourite food. The children could
then find out what each other’s favourite
food is and draw that. What we are
aiming for them to appreciate, is that the
other person maybe thinking differently to
themselves. And whilst they are doing that,
we are going to support them by talking
about difference using non-judgemental
language: good luck!
Jo provides in person and online training to
settings looking to enhance their inclusive
practice for more information visit www.
TheSensoryProjects.co.uk where you can
also find resources to help you include
children of all abilities. Jo is active on social
media and welcomes connection requests
from people curious about inclusive
practice.
Joanna Grace
Joanna Grace is an international
Sensory Engagement and Inclusion
Specialist, trainer, author, TEDx speaker
and founder of The Sensory Projects.
Consistently rated as “outstanding” by
Ofsted, Joanna has taught in
mainstream and special school settings,
connecting with pupils of all ages and
abilities. To inform her work, Joanna
draws on her own experience from her
private and professional life as well as
taking in all the information she can
from the research archives. Joanna’s
private life includes family members
with disabilities and neurodiverse
conditions and time spent as a
registered foster carer for children with
profound disabilities.
Joanna has published four practitioner
books: “Multiple Multisensory Rooms:
Myth Busting the Magic”, “Sensory
Stories for Children and Teens”,
“Sensory-Being for Sensory Beings”
and “Sharing Sensory Stories and
Conversations with People with
Dementia”. and two inclusive sensory
story children’s books: “Voyage to
Arghan” and “Ernest and I”. There is
new book coming out soon called ‘”The
Subtle Spectrum” and her son has
recently become the UK’s youngest
published author with his book, “My
Mummy is Autistic”.
Joanna is a big fan of social media and
is always happy to connect with people
via Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.
Website:
thesensoryprojects.co.uk
22 June 2021 | parenta.com
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