The Wanderer - issue 119 - http://www.wwisc.co.uk/

The Wanderer - issue 119 - Online - WYCOMBE WANDERERS INDEPENDENT SUPPORTERS CLUB - http://www.wwisc.co.uk/

The Wanderer - issue 119 - Online - WYCOMBE WANDERERS INDEPENDENT SUPPORTERS CLUB - http://www.wwisc.co.uk/


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We welcome back Father Nathan Jones, now reinstated at the Church of St Kenilworth

The Self Celebrant, after departing St Bet365 of the Holy Gambling Act 2005 and a

period as Travelling Pastor from the Church of St Dole and the Upcoming Vacancy.

“Greetings one and all. I hope you are keeping safe and well in these troubled times.

May your arms and the arms of your loved ones be now, or in the near future, blessed

mightily with the reviving spirits of Astra Zenica, Pfizer, or at a push, Sputnik.

It is a delight to be back at my former parish. I was invited to return when Father

Jones was, after a difficult period, suddenly but quite politely called away in the night

to do some missionary work up in the North East. Glorious as it was to return from the

wilderness, I had, of course, spent my sabbatical wisely, pondering the great questions,

like why everyone but me seems to be an assistant at West Ham, meditating on sporadic

offers from Quest and checking to make sure Crawley Town still have my number.

Though it can be said that I left St Kenilworths under a cloud (and quite a few people

DID say it, write it, carve it and spray it onto various parts of my house) I think I

can say the parish has welcomed me and my trademark world class humility back with

open arms. My Manager Of The Month photo opportunity trespasses have been

forgiven and I have already forgotten the death threats, sleepless nights, bullets in the

post and bags of human waste thrown at my window.

Indeed, when word of my return got out, the streets were lined with smiling celebrants

and ‘Tommy Robinson is innocent’ placards were laid in the road in front of my red

and white striped Bet365 Land Rover Discovery (the legacy of a spiritually guided, but

legally airtight contract negotiation) as I made my way back to Kenilworth Road.

And I did find there was much to be done. The place was in darkness. The spectre of

returning to the Godless abyss (League One) was hanging over the parish. The Temple

to hard work, being good in transition, being the best team in the land, everyone having

matching crucifixation tattoos, in short, a mirror image of my own indomitable spirit

and undoubted merits, was in ruins. The congregation had to be lifted, the new

hymnals discarded and we needed to get back to the old tried and trusted services.

And Lo, we were all righteously raised up high – To 19 th place - And there was a great

multitude who cried: ‘Thank Christ for that...!’


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