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The Wanderer - issue 119 - http://www.wwisc.co.uk/

The Wanderer - issue 119 - Online - WYCOMBE WANDERERS INDEPENDENT SUPPORTERS CLUB - http://www.wwisc.co.uk/

The Wanderer - issue 119 - Online - WYCOMBE WANDERERS INDEPENDENT SUPPORTERS CLUB - http://www.wwisc.co.uk/

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FAKE NEWS

PETERBOROUGH HIT BY MYSTERY EARTHQUAKE

Seismologists are baffled by a small earthquake that hit the

city of Peterborough on the evening of 13 th July 2020. No

damage was reported, although one angry business owner

claimed that the side dish of his evening meal was ruined,

when his side unfairly tumbled down the table.

Analysis of the tremors traced the source of the quake to

the sports desk of the Peterborough Telegraph offices. One

scientist commented; “I’ve heard the theory of a hurricane

being caused by a butterfly flapping its wings, but never an

earthquake being caused by a Swann having a tantrum.”

GOLIATH SUPPORTERS CRITICISE DAVID’S TACTICS

Fans of Philistine warrior Goliath have angrily criticised

the tactics of plucky underdog David, who stunned the

biblical world with a shock win over the much-fancied giant.

“You always know what you’re going to get with David”,

complained one disappointed Philistine, “He’s good at what

he does and it’s effective, but let’s face it, all he does

is launch it up at the big man. He’s had one shot on target

all day and unfortunately for Goliath, it’s killed him.”

The Philistines also complained about the god who oversaw

the encounter, arguing that he was biased and clearly

favoured and exalted David among all others.

Goliath himself was also unimpressed by David following the

shock defeat, saying; “I’m glad I don’t have to watch that

every week, and indeed I don’t, because I’m dead now.”

COUHIG ELECTED ON PROMISE TO ‘BUILD A WALL’

Rob Couhig has romped to a resounding victory in his bid to

become President of Wycombe Wanderers, partly due to his

bold pledge to build a Wanderers Wall on the border between

Monty’s and the players’ entrance.

Mr Couhig promised supporters at a rally; “I will build a

great wall…and nobody builds walls better than me, believe

me…and I’ll build it very inexpensively and I will make

Mexico pay for that wall, although you guys could also help

out by purchasing a personalised brick.”

Couhig denied that the wall was being built to keep Mexicans

from entering Adams Park. “Just Carlos Lopez” he confirmed.

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