Lot's Wife Edition 4 2021

Lot’s Wife • Edition Four
It’s Not You,
It’s Me
Words by Arushi Thakral
Lot’s Wife • Edition Four
Art by Kat Kennedy
I’ve been pirouetting around social media my entire life. It’s been my soul mate and
my muse. Up until recently, I scrolled mindlessly and struggled to set boundaries, so
much so that I preferred texting people over actually meeting them.
What’s funny is that the online world makes me sick now. My phone, my laptop, and
even television, make me want to cry out loud. They are like that toxic partner that
you keep going back to and regret each time.
It’s ironic how we once preferred sailing alone in the deep waters of our social media
feeds, and that’s all we’ve got now. Distance isn’t a choice anymore, and technology
is our only friend. I ask myself why it feels so weird – isn’t this what I always wanted,
to be on my own, scrolling through Instagram or watching a random series on my
laptop, without having to leave my bed?
I have all the time in the world to do what I always wanted, and it turns out my
perfect life makes me anxious, stressed, and surprisingly unhappy.
All the while, I’ve been in contact with people more than I ever have before. Through
texts, video calls, and emails, I can keep in touch in exactly the way I used to prefer
– but now, all I want is to meet my friends at the cafe I used to resent going to. I want
to sit together, have a glass of red wine, and “cheers” the night away. Being the most
socially awkward person to ever exist, wanting a digital detox is a big deal.
Now that online is the new normal and the internet our saviour, I wish I had a rewind
button, to fall back to when virtual was a possibility and not a replacement.
I think I’ve changed. The world around me isn’t the same anymore – well then, how
could I be?
So, I have a confession to make. Technology, my best pal, I don’t think it’s working
anymore. It’s not you, it’s me!
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