Start Fresh With Fall Reflections AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2021 05

atfortyfive

A magazine for women 45+ who want to own aging with spirit and joy. For those of us rediscovering who we are & exploring what we want next. We want more; health, wealth, happiness, & fulfillment. Join women around the world navigating the best years yet.

S E P T E M B E R | I S S U E N O . 2 1 0 1 0 5

AT FORTY FIVE

The Magazine For Women 45+

T A M A R A S P E N C E : C E L E B R A T E A U D A C I O U S

It Is Time To Stand

UP, Stand OUT, Stand

STRONG Together

Tamara Spence: Using

Art To Silence

The Inner Critic

My Keto Lifestyle:

A Personal Journey

Back To Health


I

Have

Lost

My

Focus

fabulousYOUniversity.com


C O N T R I B U T O R S

04

Sherry Kallergis

Editor

AT FORTY FIVE

10Cover

tamara Spence

tamara spence

fine art

06

sue dumais

heart led living

16

joanna piros

joannapiros.com

09

howard's facet

19

APRIL ROSE MORE

APRIL ROSE MORE

PHOTOGRAPHY


E D I T O R ' S N O T E S

Goodbye summer.

It happens so suddenly. From one day to the next, you feel

the chill, and that certain smell waft in on the wind.

Time to switch out the tank tops for cozy sweaters.

The changing of the seasons is a perfect chance to reflect,

take stock and start fresh. No different than cleaning our

closets to prepare for different weather, we can take time to

clear our minds and set new directions.

This week, make a date with yourself to check in on your

health, both physical and mental. Our contributors are

sharing their journeys to finding better health, new looks,

fresh perspectives, and peace of mind. So grab a tea.

Enjoy some me-time.

SHERRY KALLERGIS

“ T I M E S P E N T I N S E L F - R E F L E C T I O N I S N E V E R W A S T E D – I T I S A N

I N T I M A T E D A T E W I T H Y O U R S E L F . ” ~ D R P A U L T P W O N G


C O N T E N T S

04

editor's notes

06

It Is Time To Stand UP

Stand OUT And Stand

Strong Together

09

Kicker Caesar

Salad

10

tamara spence:

Using Art To Silence

the inner critic

16

My Keto Lifestyle:

a Personal Journey

Back to Health

19

aura of woman

21

Feel confident with

new brows


IT IS TIME

TO STAND UP

STAND OUT AND

STAND STRONG

TOGETHER

/ BY SUE DUMAIS

Are you ready to learn how we can

all Stand UP, Stand OUT and Stand

STRONG together?

I will be sharing one chapter from

my book each week for the next 30

weeks and take you on a powerful

journey to learn how to move from

fear, judgment, and separation into

love, oneness, and connection.

Yes, the world is changing, and we

do not know what the future holds.

Yes, chances are your life will never

be the same again.

But what if.... this was actually good

news?

There is a way to navigate this global

SHIFT and find meaning and peace

during this time of uncertainty.

There is a way to stand united and

connected in a shared global cause.

No more delay! The time is NOW!

You are ready and the world is ready

for you!

Together we can continue to impact

change.

***Note: the following content is an

excerpt of the Introduction from my

book "Stand UP Stand OUT Stand

STRONG ~ A 30 Day Guide to

Navigate Life When the SHIFT Hits

the Fan"

What if everything happening is

actually a massive wake-up call for

all of humanity to impact the

necessary global change to create a

massive course correction?


AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /07

It is clear the world is changing. Many people

believe things are getting worse and we are

going backward but the truth is, everything is

getting uncovered and brought out into the

open. This is the good news. Anything that

remains hidden won’t change and can’t be

healed.

The question most people want to be answered

is, how do we navigate this shift that is

occurring on our planet? How can we meet the

fear, judgment, hatred, anger, and violence

without fighting against it and adding more

fear?

As I reflect on what it took to bring this book to

life, I am in awe of the process. I practically

wrote it with my eyes closed. I had no idea of

what each chapter topic would be until it was

finished. The chapters came out in sound bites,

often in the wee hours of the morning. I had no

idea what I was writing until the words stopped

flowing through my fingers and I would read

what I wrote. Whenever I felt resistance or went

into my head to figure it out, I would stop and

walk away. I was practicing deep trust and

writing with blind faith.

All I knew for sure was that this book needed to

be written at this time. I knew in my heart that

there are people waiting for this message and

many are calling for some form of a guide to

help them navigate this incredibly challenging

shift that is happening on our planet. Yes, it is

incredibly challenging, and it is literally shaking

the ground beneath our feet. At the same time,

it is waking us all up and exposing some deep

darkness that has remained hidden for a long

time. Everything is being brought into the light

of awareness so we can heal deeply and

collectively.

This book is designed to challenge our

programmed thinking minds. The messages

may not be what we want to hear, but I

guarantee they are what we need to hear in

order to unwind our minds and open our

hearts. This thirty-day guide will shake us up to

wake us up to a new way of being in a

relationship with each other.

This global shift is necessary. It is essential. It is

timely. If we are to change what is no longer

working so we can evolve as a species, we must

all find a way to navigate this shift and be

willing to play our part. It is important to

remember that everyone’s part is essential.

The time is now! No more turning a blind eye.

No more pretending. No more hiding. No more

trying to fit in. Let’s bring it all into the light of

awareness and ride this wave of change and

evolution so we can unite in love for each other

and our planet. It is time for all of us to Stand

UP, Stand OUT, and Stand STRONG.

Take my hand. Let’s begin together ….

Stay tuned next week for chapter 1 ~ When We

Care Too Much, It Hurts

***This is an excerpt from Sue Dumais' book

"Stand UP Stand OUT Stand STRONG ~ A 30

Day Guide to Navigate Life When the SHIFT Hits

the Fan"

Published on atfortyfive.com with permission

from © Sue Dumais


A kicker caesar salad is always a welcomed addition to a

potluck, picnic, or having guests over for the evening. Now

that the world is opening up again, it is time to reignite our

basic instincts for social connectedness and get together

with people face to face.

You can dress a salad up or down with your main dish and

sides or even make a meal of it. This caesar salad will not

disappoint you and there is no box opening required here.

A caesar salad from scratch takes about the same amount of

time but the end result is so fresh and tasty you won't regret

nixing the box variety.

Caesar

Kicker

A

Salad

Caesar Salad

Kicker

Yield: Serves 8-10

/BY HOWARD'S FACET

Ingredients:

1 head of romaine lettuce

Dressing:

1 cup mayonnaise

½ cup of finely grated parmesan cheese

2 Tbsp lemon juice

1 Tbsp minced garlic

1 tsp each anchovy paste, Dijon mustard,

Worcestershire sauce

2 - 4 dashes Hot Sauce like Cholula Original Hot

Sauce

¼ tsp salt

¼ tsp freshly ground pepper

Croutons:

6 slices of bread

Garlic powder

Oregano

Olive oil

Dressing Steps:

1. Mix all ingredients in a bowl till well blended.

2. Based on your palate / BY SHERRY you can add KALLERGIS more or

less of any ingredient.

3. Place in a sealed container in the fridge for

up to 1 week.

Crouton Steps:

1. Cut bread to desired crouton size and place

in a bowl.

2. Cover and toss in olive oil.

3. Sprinkle generously with garlic powder and

oregano.

4. Place on parchment paper and bake @ 400C

until toasted. (Watching and turning so it

does not burn).

5. Toss all ingredients just before serving this

delicious Kicker Ceasar Salad.

Learn More

Find more great recipes

Get more info on Cholula Original Hot Sauce


Using Art To Silence

Spence:

Tamara

The Inner Critic

SHERRY KALLERGIS

/BY

Tamara Spence's strong inner critic has been a force through her life spurring her on to find

ways to silence it. She is a successful multi-media artist in Vancouver, Canada. This art form is

a very process-driven experience that suits her well. She thrives on variety and this medium

allows her to explore her emotions in physical and tactile ways.


AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /11

Tamara began with black and white ink

drawings, too intimidated to put color on the

page. That inner critic battle stoked her

progression as an artist. She added soft

watercolors, then more colorful acrylics, and

finally texture as Tamara learned to accept her

creativity and allow her bold spirit to speak.

Tamara shares her journey to becoming

supportive of herself and her needs.

(Note the following is paraphrased for length and flow)

How did you get started painting?

I've always been creative. My father was a

professor of sculpting and an accomplished

sculptor. He had a workshop at home and a

studio. I would play there after school, and I

enjoyed that.

I took art classes through high school but I'm

also very athletic and sports-driven with a

passion for volleyball. That was my major in

university. I played varsity but I was struggling

with what to study. My mom suggested

Sciences or Sports Science, so I went into

nursing and then met my husband.

Just before my dad died, in 1999 I decided to go

back and do a year of Fine Arts where my

father taught. It was the right place for me but

the wrong time. I was overcome with grief.

So, I went back to nursing, we had two

children, and life kept rolling on. I was working

in ER, ICU, and the Cardiac areas until I injured

my back at work, and I was advised not to

work anymore. I was struggling with grief,

depression, and battling with the system on

retraining. It was a difficult time.

I was creating but I couldn't admit to being an

artist. because that inner critic convinced me I

wasn't good enough. As time went on and on

and on, I kept getting sadder and sadder.

Finally, I decided to try hypnosis. I went to a

therapist, a wonderful woman named Liz

Lange. I had a few treatments with her. When I

was under hypnosis, I would spend it crying. I

was even questioning the value, but things

were starting to happen. I now understand I

was letting go of a lot of grief.

How did art change your direction?

Soon after hypnosis, I was moved to draw as I

mentioned earlier. That inner critic would tell

me I was not good enough. It's not good

enough. or that's not right. So, I would erase

things and move on but then I noticed I was

more willing to just let the creativity happen. If

I made a line, it wouldn't immediately look

wrong to me. Just little things like that.

I was posting some of my art on social media

where a former coworker, Ellen Bradley-

Cheung saw them. She had used art to help

herself and she invited me to join ROAM Gallery

which is when I met Jen.

That was my first show, I think it was three

drawings. After that, it became easier to

create, to push through the voice of that inner

critic telling me I wasn't good enough, to

believe in myself.

I began realizing that variety, moving from

thing to thing, was what I need to be happy,

and we all need to be happy.

What process do you use to begin to

create a piece?

I think it comes with a decision about the day.

I'm going to do this painting and sometimes it

gets underway, so I keep going. I call it my flow

state. I can equate it to being an athlete.

There's a feeling you get when you're playing a

sport or you're doing your art, where you are


Tamara Spence Fine Art

North Cape Lighthouse PEI

Ink & Watercolor

Potential

Acrylic on canvas

Awesome Asian

Ink & Watercolor

By The Sea

Ink & watercolor on mixed media


AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /13

lost in the moment. There isn't a lot of thinking

going on. You're just moving and It's almost like

you've left your body for a while. What I have

come to realize is my inner critic was really

interrupting that flow state and as I learned to

manage that, I could hit that sweet spot more

often.

How did you know when a piece is finished?

That's a great question because sometimes I

think I stopped before I've done enough and

sometimes, I've done too much and I don't like

what I've done anymore. And then there are

other times. I look at other paintings that I've

done and think why didn't I keep going? It's an

inner feeling that I think it's time to stop. I think

I'm going to ruin this if I keep going.

Sometimes there is a definitive end because of

the process. For example, if I am putting on

colored pieces I am done when they are all on or

I have run out of room.

Is there a key piece of wisdom that

you'd like to share?

Believe in yourself. As an artist, I feared being the

failure my inner critic kept harping about. Don't

worry.

Failure is going to lead to learning.

Figure out what makes you happy. Some people

have it easier than others as far as knowing

what that is or what they want when they're

younger. My husband is a police officer, and he

knew that, but his route was long and

convoluted. His bucket is filled with helping and

being there for people. There are many job

prospects that provide that opportunity.

I think for creatives it is harder to figure that out,

especially if you're lacking motivation or a belief

that you can do it perhaps listening to that

inner critic. I sidestepped it all for a while, but

eventually, it starts slapping you in the face.

What is a key piece of learning that has helped

you?

Consult with professionals. I have a counselor

who's been great about teaching or pushing me

very gently to do things for myself. I have learned

if I'm not happy then everybody else is miserable.

If I'm happy then things will go more smoothly. In

order to be happy, I need to accept myself and

accept what I want to do, contrary to the inner

critic.

As I mentioned, after my back injury I suffered

from severe depression and anxiety. That inner

critic was very present. I felt suicidal and I knew I

needed help. I was put on antidepressants.

Medication certainly helps. If you need

medications, take them. It doesn't mean you

necessarily have to stay on them forever. Some

people do and that's ok, but some people don't. I

had been on them before, like when I suffered

from postpartum depression.

Get counseling through whatever means is

available. The first counselor was through my

work employee assistance program. I had a loss

of hearing and my counselor set me up with the

deaf and well-being program in Vancouver.

That's for people who were born or have a loss of

hearing. I took a CBT course with a counselor

and a psychiatrist through the Deaf Well Being

Program through Vancouver Coastal.

I didn't go for a while and started to struggle

again. Now my counselor helps me with staying

true to myself without belittling or making

everyone else the priority.

It's been a very important part of my recovery

and my growth. I'm always going to be changing

and I'm always going to need support. However,

my toolbox for helping myself is getting bigger.

I have come to realize I am not happy if I don't


Tamara Spence Fine Art

Sadness

Ink & watercolor on

A Horses Life 5 Ink & watercolor

Abstract Roots

Ink & Watercolor on mixed media


AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /15

make art. I am most satisfied when I am in a

flow state which means creating or playing

sports. The most rewarding aspect of my

journey is understanding how to allow myself

to do that.

What has been a barrier that you have

overcome?

Time management is one of my biggest

obstacles. I tend to rank other chores and

people's needs above my need to create. I find

it hard to make myself a priority and create

boundaries around what I need.

Putting myself first is a constant battle. I now

know that the secret to success is that I must

keep creating but there's this constant pull

between what else is in my life and what else

needs to be done.

What is something surprising about you that

most people don’t know?

A surprising fact about me is that I am the

lead volleyball coach in the hybrid

volleyball/basketball academy at Saint Thomas

Aquinas Regional Secondary School. I have

been coaching volleyball since 1998 thanks to

my husband.

What do you need to make more room

in your life for?

I need to make room for connecting with my

friends. With COVID, I have had to reach out

and initiate contact, you can’t wait for

someone to come to you.

Also, I would love to learn how to do bronze or

resin casting and windsurfing.

Learn More

Buy Tamara's art at ROAM Gallery

Visit her website

Follow her on Facebook and Instagram

Read more in our series Women In Art

WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW

If you could meet anyone for lunch, who

would it be?

If I could meet anyone for lunch it would be

my father. He died in 1999 from cancer. We

have a lot to catch up on.

What was the best advice you ever

received?

My father told me that when I met the right

person you will know. What the heck does

that mean!! Well, when I met my husband “I

KNEW”. Twenty-one years and two boys later

he is still my best friend.


MY KETO LIFESTYLE:

A PERSONAL JOURNEY

BACK TO HEALTH

/ BY JOANNA PIROS

The keto lifestyle has made a

huge difference to my health.

I'm not a doctor, and I don't

even play one on TV so I

share this eating regimen

and way of life with you

based entirely on my own

experience but also with

reference to experts in the

field like Dr. Jason Fung from

Toronto. Fung is such a great

speaker and writer that I

encourage you to visit him

directly; I won’t attempt to

do justice to his philosophy

here.

Three years ago, my family

doctor was concerned about

my fasting glucose levels, my

blood pressure, and my

cholesterol. One option was

to take medication often

given to diabetics. My doctor

was not comfortable with that

approach but rather

recommended the keto way

of life. Essentially, she said to

me, “you're a smart woman,

go online and read everything

that Dr. Jason Fung has to

say, and then create your own

lifestyle based on his research

and recommendations."

Let’s be honest: as I got older

I vacillated between wishing I

was in better shape (while not

being willing to change

anything in my diet), AND


esigning myself to the fact that at my age I

shouldn’t fuss about it because it was just part

of aging. Had my doctor not intervened, for

solid health reasons, I might never have

pursued a Keto lifestyle. Truth be told, I didn't

know anything about it before my

appointment.

What I created for myself was a combination of

a keto diet along with intermittent fasting and

the occasional multi-day one. I know that

sounds daunting but in the same way that you

would not attempt to run a marathon without

training for it, you cannot do fasting of any kind

without building up to it.

How I Started

Here is how I started: first I went through my

cupboards and segmented everything that I

was no longer going to eat which included rice,

pasta, beans, sugar, flour. Then I dropped a

number of high-carb vegetables from my diet

including most things that grow under the

ground such as potatoes, beets, turnips. Next, I

eliminated pretty much all fruit with the

exception of blueberries and blackberries in

limited amounts. Does that sound like all the

fun foods went out? Not true because I can eat

plenty of healthy protein, all kinds of salads,

mayonnaise, cream, sour cream, cheese, butter,

and bacon.

Eliminating breakfast and lunch and going for

one meal a day was fairly simple and painless.

Once my body learned to look for fat to burn,

and I was fat-adapted, That amount of fasting,

i.e. 22 hours with no food and with a 2-hour

eating window, provides outrageous benefits to

your body, the main one being autophagy, a

process that begins after 12 hours of fasting and

basically purges all the damaged, old and toxic

cells from the body.

I was so busy paying attention to my eating

regimen and testing my blood glucose after

meals and during fasts that I barely noticed my

pants sliding down my hips, or the

embarrassing situation where your boobs don’t

fill out the cups of your bra! I went to buy a

dress for a work engagement and I was

shocked my usual size was too big. Then I tried

one size down, then another before fitting into

an 8. Even more significant, my fasting glucose

levels dropped back within the normal range.

My blood pressure was on its way down as well.

A New Lifestyle

Everyone asks me if I am still “doing Keto”, not

realizing that it is a permanent lifestyle for me

and, given my weight loss and health gain, I can

allow myself the occasional cheat and have a

burger in a bun, rather than wrapped in lettuce,

or some angel hair pasta with lemon cream

sauce and prawns, or even a low-carb bread

tomato sandwich.

Since my success became obvious to others,

several friends and colleagues have dipped

their toes into Keto, some of them following the

intermittent fasting as well as the low carb diet

and some simply reducing their carb load but


AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE

/19

continuing to eat three meals a day. One of them even lost 60 pounds!

If you are struggling with your fitness, weight, blood glucose, or blood pressure, I highly

recommend this lifestyle. Granted, it cannot be for everyone; nothing is, but it has been a

huge breakthrough in my life. I have never felt healthier and more energetic. I’m proud of

my body and the shape it is in. Too bad the skin tone never returns to where it was at 30.

Sigh.

There is so much conflicting advice out there. What, where, and when we should eat, what

supplements to take, and how we should exercise. It is annoyingly confusing. Even though

I’m no expert, I do have a solid few years of experience with this Keto lifestyle. I will never go

back to my previous approach.

I am very happy to chat with anyone who wants to know more. My contact info is in my bio.

If you don't want to spend a lot of time reading reports online, think of me as your Keto

shortcut.

More

Learn

Check out:

The Diet Doctor Website with Jason Fong

Read:

The Obesity Code Unlocking the Secrets of Weight

Loss (Why Intermittent Fastin Is The Key to

Controlling Your Weight)

Image Credit Amazon

Click to view sample


AURA OF WOMAN

Janie is our Aura of Woman Imagery this week.

This series from April Rose More Photography celebrates

women who embrace their unique Aura of Woman and share it with the world.

View the complete series


AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /21

LOOK BEAUTIFUL

Your eyebrows are the frames of the windows

to your soul. Without eyebrows, your face lacks

definition and your eyes seem to disappear.

Having a heart condition was bad enough but

being prescribed medication that caused my

hair to fall out was harder. It was so

unpleasant. I could see my scalp peeking

through, and my brows were slowly

disappearing.

Feel

Confident

Feel

Confident

Finding out I was one of the less than one

percent with this side effect had me moaning

why ME? The cardiologist team over the

course of the next two years, experimented

with different levels, tweaking until it stopped.

My eyebrows didn't grow back though.

Coupled with my almost blond brows, I took to

lining and waxing my brows.

with

/ BY SHERRY KALLERGIS

New Brows New Brows New Brows

In the summer, I noticed my sister, who lives

in Alberta had beautiful brows. She told me

hers were a result of microblading. I liked the

look, but I was a bit nervous to try it.

Then a friend told me about a Microblade

training program posting on Facebook looking

for models. I was tired of lining, waxing, and

coloring every morning so I decided to do it.

The process is relatively easy. The hygiene and

safety bars were set high. Shoe coverings were

used by both teachers and clients. Medical

gowns, face masks, and safety glasses spoke to

the clinical setting, but the teachers and their

interactions with their students made for a

friendly collegiate atmosphere. It reminded

me of a girl’s night out with friends.


LOOK BEAUTIFUL

Before

Process

The

First, your face is cleaned, and the consultant

finds out what type of brows you want. Next, the

shape is drawn on and the design is approved.

Following this, they customize a color suited to

your skin tone, so you have the perfect color.

Although they take your hair color into

consideration, the color is matched to your skin.

They look for a color that will be defined but is

realistic.

After

Then they sterilize and numb your skin. Slowly,

using a small precision blade your skin is pierced

with short strokes mimicking strands of eyebrow

hair. You can feel it, but it does not hurt a bit.

Finally, the color is rubbed in.

In almost no time, it is done, and you are sent

home with very precise instructions. No showers

for two weeks was the hardest instruction.

There were 8 women, and we were all very

pleased with our new brows. The color is darker

at first, then gets lighter after two weeks and

after about six weeks it settles into the regular

color. At this point, you can go back and tweak

the color or touch up the shape if you need.

Image Credit headcovers.com

Solutions

Alternate

Cardani Eye Wigs have a variety of shapes and

colors with latex-free and gum adhesives. They

look just like your own and are 100% human hair.

Image Credit ardellllashes.com

Ardell Brow Defining Kit is a makeup alternate

that helps you line your brows with ease. Four

different colors to mimic the shades of your hair,

a specially shaped brush, and a wax stick keeps

your new brow realistic and in place until you

remove it.


The missing piece

ADVERTISE HERE

604.346.9275

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