S E P T E M B E R | I S S U E N O . 2 1 0 1 0 5
AT FORTY FIVE
The Magazine For Women 45+
T A M A R A S P E N C E : C E L E B R A T E A U D A C I O U S
It Is Time To Stand
UP, Stand OUT, Stand
Tamara Spence: Using
Art To Silence
The Inner Critic
My Keto Lifestyle:
A Personal Journey
Back To Health
C O N T R I B U T O R S
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heart led living
APRIL ROSE MORE
APRIL ROSE MORE
E D I T O R ' S N O T E S
It happens so suddenly. From one day to the next, you feel
the chill, and that certain smell waft in on the wind.
Time to switch out the tank tops for cozy sweaters.
The changing of the seasons is a perfect chance to reflect,
take stock and start fresh. No different than cleaning our
closets to prepare for different weather, we can take time to
clear our minds and set new directions.
This week, make a date with yourself to check in on your
health, both physical and mental. Our contributors are
sharing their journeys to finding better health, new looks,
fresh perspectives, and peace of mind. So grab a tea.
Enjoy some me-time.
“ T I M E S P E N T I N S E L F - R E F L E C T I O N I S N E V E R W A S T E D – I T I S A N
I N T I M A T E D A T E W I T H Y O U R S E L F . ” ~ D R P A U L T P W O N G
C O N T E N T S
It Is Time To Stand UP
Stand OUT And Stand
Using Art To Silence
the inner critic
My Keto Lifestyle:
a Personal Journey
Back to Health
aura of woman
Feel confident with
IT IS TIME
TO STAND UP
STAND OUT AND
/ BY SUE DUMAIS
Are you ready to learn how we can
all Stand UP, Stand OUT and Stand
I will be sharing one chapter from
my book each week for the next 30
weeks and take you on a powerful
journey to learn how to move from
fear, judgment, and separation into
love, oneness, and connection.
Yes, the world is changing, and we
do not know what the future holds.
Yes, chances are your life will never
be the same again.
But what if.... this was actually good
There is a way to navigate this global
SHIFT and find meaning and peace
during this time of uncertainty.
There is a way to stand united and
connected in a shared global cause.
No more delay! The time is NOW!
You are ready and the world is ready
Together we can continue to impact
***Note: the following content is an
excerpt of the Introduction from my
book "Stand UP Stand OUT Stand
STRONG ~ A 30 Day Guide to
Navigate Life When the SHIFT Hits
What if everything happening is
actually a massive wake-up call for
all of humanity to impact the
necessary global change to create a
massive course correction?
AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /07
It is clear the world is changing. Many people
believe things are getting worse and we are
going backward but the truth is, everything is
getting uncovered and brought out into the
open. This is the good news. Anything that
remains hidden won’t change and can’t be
The question most people want to be answered
is, how do we navigate this shift that is
occurring on our planet? How can we meet the
fear, judgment, hatred, anger, and violence
without fighting against it and adding more
As I reflect on what it took to bring this book to
life, I am in awe of the process. I practically
wrote it with my eyes closed. I had no idea of
what each chapter topic would be until it was
finished. The chapters came out in sound bites,
often in the wee hours of the morning. I had no
idea what I was writing until the words stopped
flowing through my fingers and I would read
what I wrote. Whenever I felt resistance or went
into my head to figure it out, I would stop and
walk away. I was practicing deep trust and
writing with blind faith.
All I knew for sure was that this book needed to
be written at this time. I knew in my heart that
there are people waiting for this message and
many are calling for some form of a guide to
help them navigate this incredibly challenging
shift that is happening on our planet. Yes, it is
incredibly challenging, and it is literally shaking
the ground beneath our feet. At the same time,
it is waking us all up and exposing some deep
darkness that has remained hidden for a long
time. Everything is being brought into the light
of awareness so we can heal deeply and
This book is designed to challenge our
programmed thinking minds. The messages
may not be what we want to hear, but I
guarantee they are what we need to hear in
order to unwind our minds and open our
hearts. This thirty-day guide will shake us up to
wake us up to a new way of being in a
relationship with each other.
This global shift is necessary. It is essential. It is
timely. If we are to change what is no longer
working so we can evolve as a species, we must
all find a way to navigate this shift and be
willing to play our part. It is important to
remember that everyone’s part is essential.
The time is now! No more turning a blind eye.
No more pretending. No more hiding. No more
trying to fit in. Let’s bring it all into the light of
awareness and ride this wave of change and
evolution so we can unite in love for each other
and our planet. It is time for all of us to Stand
UP, Stand OUT, and Stand STRONG.
Take my hand. Let’s begin together ….
Stay tuned next week for chapter 1 ~ When We
Care Too Much, It Hurts
***This is an excerpt from Sue Dumais' book
"Stand UP Stand OUT Stand STRONG ~ A 30
Day Guide to Navigate Life When the SHIFT Hits
Published on atfortyfive.com with permission
from © Sue Dumais
A kicker caesar salad is always a welcomed addition to a
potluck, picnic, or having guests over for the evening. Now
that the world is opening up again, it is time to reignite our
basic instincts for social connectedness and get together
with people face to face.
You can dress a salad up or down with your main dish and
sides or even make a meal of it. This caesar salad will not
disappoint you and there is no box opening required here.
A caesar salad from scratch takes about the same amount of
time but the end result is so fresh and tasty you won't regret
nixing the box variety.
Yield: Serves 8-10
/BY HOWARD'S FACET
1 head of romaine lettuce
1 cup mayonnaise
½ cup of finely grated parmesan cheese
2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1 tsp each anchovy paste, Dijon mustard,
2 - 4 dashes Hot Sauce like Cholula Original Hot
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp freshly ground pepper
6 slices of bread
1. Mix all ingredients in a bowl till well blended.
2. Based on your palate / BY SHERRY you can add KALLERGIS more or
less of any ingredient.
3. Place in a sealed container in the fridge for
up to 1 week.
1. Cut bread to desired crouton size and place
in a bowl.
2. Cover and toss in olive oil.
3. Sprinkle generously with garlic powder and
4. Place on parchment paper and bake @ 400C
until toasted. (Watching and turning so it
does not burn).
5. Toss all ingredients just before serving this
delicious Kicker Ceasar Salad.
Find more great recipes
Get more info on Cholula Original Hot Sauce
Using Art To Silence
The Inner Critic
Tamara Spence's strong inner critic has been a force through her life spurring her on to find
ways to silence it. She is a successful multi-media artist in Vancouver, Canada. This art form is
a very process-driven experience that suits her well. She thrives on variety and this medium
allows her to explore her emotions in physical and tactile ways.
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Tamara began with black and white ink
drawings, too intimidated to put color on the
page. That inner critic battle stoked her
progression as an artist. She added soft
watercolors, then more colorful acrylics, and
finally texture as Tamara learned to accept her
creativity and allow her bold spirit to speak.
Tamara shares her journey to becoming
supportive of herself and her needs.
(Note the following is paraphrased for length and flow)
How did you get started painting?
I've always been creative. My father was a
professor of sculpting and an accomplished
sculptor. He had a workshop at home and a
studio. I would play there after school, and I
I took art classes through high school but I'm
also very athletic and sports-driven with a
passion for volleyball. That was my major in
university. I played varsity but I was struggling
with what to study. My mom suggested
Sciences or Sports Science, so I went into
nursing and then met my husband.
Just before my dad died, in 1999 I decided to go
back and do a year of Fine Arts where my
father taught. It was the right place for me but
the wrong time. I was overcome with grief.
So, I went back to nursing, we had two
children, and life kept rolling on. I was working
in ER, ICU, and the Cardiac areas until I injured
my back at work, and I was advised not to
work anymore. I was struggling with grief,
depression, and battling with the system on
retraining. It was a difficult time.
I was creating but I couldn't admit to being an
artist. because that inner critic convinced me I
wasn't good enough. As time went on and on
and on, I kept getting sadder and sadder.
Finally, I decided to try hypnosis. I went to a
therapist, a wonderful woman named Liz
Lange. I had a few treatments with her. When I
was under hypnosis, I would spend it crying. I
was even questioning the value, but things
were starting to happen. I now understand I
was letting go of a lot of grief.
How did art change your direction?
Soon after hypnosis, I was moved to draw as I
mentioned earlier. That inner critic would tell
me I was not good enough. It's not good
enough. or that's not right. So, I would erase
things and move on but then I noticed I was
more willing to just let the creativity happen. If
I made a line, it wouldn't immediately look
wrong to me. Just little things like that.
I was posting some of my art on social media
where a former coworker, Ellen Bradley-
Cheung saw them. She had used art to help
herself and she invited me to join ROAM Gallery
which is when I met Jen.
That was my first show, I think it was three
drawings. After that, it became easier to
create, to push through the voice of that inner
critic telling me I wasn't good enough, to
believe in myself.
I began realizing that variety, moving from
thing to thing, was what I need to be happy,
and we all need to be happy.
What process do you use to begin to
create a piece?
I think it comes with a decision about the day.
I'm going to do this painting and sometimes it
gets underway, so I keep going. I call it my flow
state. I can equate it to being an athlete.
There's a feeling you get when you're playing a
sport or you're doing your art, where you are
Tamara Spence Fine Art
North Cape Lighthouse PEI
Ink & Watercolor
Acrylic on canvas
Ink & Watercolor
By The Sea
Ink & watercolor on mixed media
AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /13
lost in the moment. There isn't a lot of thinking
going on. You're just moving and It's almost like
you've left your body for a while. What I have
come to realize is my inner critic was really
interrupting that flow state and as I learned to
manage that, I could hit that sweet spot more
How did you know when a piece is finished?
That's a great question because sometimes I
think I stopped before I've done enough and
sometimes, I've done too much and I don't like
what I've done anymore. And then there are
other times. I look at other paintings that I've
done and think why didn't I keep going? It's an
inner feeling that I think it's time to stop. I think
I'm going to ruin this if I keep going.
Sometimes there is a definitive end because of
the process. For example, if I am putting on
colored pieces I am done when they are all on or
I have run out of room.
Is there a key piece of wisdom that
you'd like to share?
Believe in yourself. As an artist, I feared being the
failure my inner critic kept harping about. Don't
Failure is going to lead to learning.
Figure out what makes you happy. Some people
have it easier than others as far as knowing
what that is or what they want when they're
younger. My husband is a police officer, and he
knew that, but his route was long and
convoluted. His bucket is filled with helping and
being there for people. There are many job
prospects that provide that opportunity.
I think for creatives it is harder to figure that out,
especially if you're lacking motivation or a belief
that you can do it perhaps listening to that
inner critic. I sidestepped it all for a while, but
eventually, it starts slapping you in the face.
What is a key piece of learning that has helped
Consult with professionals. I have a counselor
who's been great about teaching or pushing me
very gently to do things for myself. I have learned
if I'm not happy then everybody else is miserable.
If I'm happy then things will go more smoothly. In
order to be happy, I need to accept myself and
accept what I want to do, contrary to the inner
As I mentioned, after my back injury I suffered
from severe depression and anxiety. That inner
critic was very present. I felt suicidal and I knew I
needed help. I was put on antidepressants.
Medication certainly helps. If you need
medications, take them. It doesn't mean you
necessarily have to stay on them forever. Some
people do and that's ok, but some people don't. I
had been on them before, like when I suffered
from postpartum depression.
Get counseling through whatever means is
available. The first counselor was through my
work employee assistance program. I had a loss
of hearing and my counselor set me up with the
deaf and well-being program in Vancouver.
That's for people who were born or have a loss of
hearing. I took a CBT course with a counselor
and a psychiatrist through the Deaf Well Being
Program through Vancouver Coastal.
I didn't go for a while and started to struggle
again. Now my counselor helps me with staying
true to myself without belittling or making
everyone else the priority.
It's been a very important part of my recovery
and my growth. I'm always going to be changing
and I'm always going to need support. However,
my toolbox for helping myself is getting bigger.
I have come to realize I am not happy if I don't
Tamara Spence Fine Art
Ink & watercolor on
A Horses Life 5 Ink & watercolor
Ink & Watercolor on mixed media
AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /15
make art. I am most satisfied when I am in a
flow state which means creating or playing
sports. The most rewarding aspect of my
journey is understanding how to allow myself
to do that.
What has been a barrier that you have
Time management is one of my biggest
obstacles. I tend to rank other chores and
people's needs above my need to create. I find
it hard to make myself a priority and create
boundaries around what I need.
Putting myself first is a constant battle. I now
know that the secret to success is that I must
keep creating but there's this constant pull
between what else is in my life and what else
needs to be done.
What is something surprising about you that
most people don’t know?
A surprising fact about me is that I am the
lead volleyball coach in the hybrid
volleyball/basketball academy at Saint Thomas
Aquinas Regional Secondary School. I have
been coaching volleyball since 1998 thanks to
What do you need to make more room
in your life for?
I need to make room for connecting with my
friends. With COVID, I have had to reach out
and initiate contact, you can’t wait for
someone to come to you.
Also, I would love to learn how to do bronze or
resin casting and windsurfing.
Buy Tamara's art at ROAM Gallery
Visit her website
Follow her on Facebook and Instagram
Read more in our series Women In Art
WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW
If you could meet anyone for lunch, who
would it be?
If I could meet anyone for lunch it would be
my father. He died in 1999 from cancer. We
have a lot to catch up on.
What was the best advice you ever
My father told me that when I met the right
person you will know. What the heck does
that mean!! Well, when I met my husband “I
KNEW”. Twenty-one years and two boys later
he is still my best friend.
MY KETO LIFESTYLE:
A PERSONAL JOURNEY
BACK TO HEALTH
/ BY JOANNA PIROS
The keto lifestyle has made a
huge difference to my health.
I'm not a doctor, and I don't
even play one on TV so I
share this eating regimen
and way of life with you
based entirely on my own
experience but also with
reference to experts in the
field like Dr. Jason Fung from
Toronto. Fung is such a great
speaker and writer that I
encourage you to visit him
directly; I won’t attempt to
do justice to his philosophy
Three years ago, my family
doctor was concerned about
my fasting glucose levels, my
blood pressure, and my
cholesterol. One option was
to take medication often
given to diabetics. My doctor
was not comfortable with that
approach but rather
recommended the keto way
of life. Essentially, she said to
me, “you're a smart woman,
go online and read everything
that Dr. Jason Fung has to
say, and then create your own
lifestyle based on his research
Let’s be honest: as I got older
I vacillated between wishing I
was in better shape (while not
being willing to change
anything in my diet), AND
esigning myself to the fact that at my age I
shouldn’t fuss about it because it was just part
of aging. Had my doctor not intervened, for
solid health reasons, I might never have
pursued a Keto lifestyle. Truth be told, I didn't
know anything about it before my
What I created for myself was a combination of
a keto diet along with intermittent fasting and
the occasional multi-day one. I know that
sounds daunting but in the same way that you
would not attempt to run a marathon without
training for it, you cannot do fasting of any kind
without building up to it.
How I Started
Here is how I started: first I went through my
cupboards and segmented everything that I
was no longer going to eat which included rice,
pasta, beans, sugar, flour. Then I dropped a
number of high-carb vegetables from my diet
including most things that grow under the
ground such as potatoes, beets, turnips. Next, I
eliminated pretty much all fruit with the
exception of blueberries and blackberries in
limited amounts. Does that sound like all the
fun foods went out? Not true because I can eat
plenty of healthy protein, all kinds of salads,
mayonnaise, cream, sour cream, cheese, butter,
Eliminating breakfast and lunch and going for
one meal a day was fairly simple and painless.
Once my body learned to look for fat to burn,
and I was fat-adapted, That amount of fasting,
i.e. 22 hours with no food and with a 2-hour
eating window, provides outrageous benefits to
your body, the main one being autophagy, a
process that begins after 12 hours of fasting and
basically purges all the damaged, old and toxic
cells from the body.
I was so busy paying attention to my eating
regimen and testing my blood glucose after
meals and during fasts that I barely noticed my
pants sliding down my hips, or the
embarrassing situation where your boobs don’t
fill out the cups of your bra! I went to buy a
dress for a work engagement and I was
shocked my usual size was too big. Then I tried
one size down, then another before fitting into
an 8. Even more significant, my fasting glucose
levels dropped back within the normal range.
My blood pressure was on its way down as well.
A New Lifestyle
Everyone asks me if I am still “doing Keto”, not
realizing that it is a permanent lifestyle for me
and, given my weight loss and health gain, I can
allow myself the occasional cheat and have a
burger in a bun, rather than wrapped in lettuce,
or some angel hair pasta with lemon cream
sauce and prawns, or even a low-carb bread
Since my success became obvious to others,
several friends and colleagues have dipped
their toes into Keto, some of them following the
intermittent fasting as well as the low carb diet
and some simply reducing their carb load but
AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE
continuing to eat three meals a day. One of them even lost 60 pounds!
If you are struggling with your fitness, weight, blood glucose, or blood pressure, I highly
recommend this lifestyle. Granted, it cannot be for everyone; nothing is, but it has been a
huge breakthrough in my life. I have never felt healthier and more energetic. I’m proud of
my body and the shape it is in. Too bad the skin tone never returns to where it was at 30.
There is so much conflicting advice out there. What, where, and when we should eat, what
supplements to take, and how we should exercise. It is annoyingly confusing. Even though
I’m no expert, I do have a solid few years of experience with this Keto lifestyle. I will never go
back to my previous approach.
I am very happy to chat with anyone who wants to know more. My contact info is in my bio.
If you don't want to spend a lot of time reading reports online, think of me as your Keto
The Diet Doctor Website with Jason Fong
The Obesity Code Unlocking the Secrets of Weight
Loss (Why Intermittent Fastin Is The Key to
Controlling Your Weight)
Image Credit Amazon
Click to view sample
AURA OF WOMAN
Janie is our Aura of Woman Imagery this week.
This series from April Rose More Photography celebrates
women who embrace their unique Aura of Woman and share it with the world.
View the complete series
AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /21
Your eyebrows are the frames of the windows
to your soul. Without eyebrows, your face lacks
definition and your eyes seem to disappear.
Having a heart condition was bad enough but
being prescribed medication that caused my
hair to fall out was harder. It was so
unpleasant. I could see my scalp peeking
through, and my brows were slowly
Finding out I was one of the less than one
percent with this side effect had me moaning
why ME? The cardiologist team over the
course of the next two years, experimented
with different levels, tweaking until it stopped.
My eyebrows didn't grow back though.
Coupled with my almost blond brows, I took to
lining and waxing my brows.
/ BY SHERRY KALLERGIS
New Brows New Brows New Brows
In the summer, I noticed my sister, who lives
in Alberta had beautiful brows. She told me
hers were a result of microblading. I liked the
look, but I was a bit nervous to try it.
Then a friend told me about a Microblade
training program posting on Facebook looking
for models. I was tired of lining, waxing, and
coloring every morning so I decided to do it.
The process is relatively easy. The hygiene and
safety bars were set high. Shoe coverings were
used by both teachers and clients. Medical
gowns, face masks, and safety glasses spoke to
the clinical setting, but the teachers and their
interactions with their students made for a
friendly collegiate atmosphere. It reminded
me of a girl’s night out with friends.
First, your face is cleaned, and the consultant
finds out what type of brows you want. Next, the
shape is drawn on and the design is approved.
Following this, they customize a color suited to
your skin tone, so you have the perfect color.
Although they take your hair color into
consideration, the color is matched to your skin.
They look for a color that will be defined but is
Then they sterilize and numb your skin. Slowly,
using a small precision blade your skin is pierced
with short strokes mimicking strands of eyebrow
hair. You can feel it, but it does not hurt a bit.
Finally, the color is rubbed in.
In almost no time, it is done, and you are sent
home with very precise instructions. No showers
for two weeks was the hardest instruction.
There were 8 women, and we were all very
pleased with our new brows. The color is darker
at first, then gets lighter after two weeks and
after about six weeks it settles into the regular
color. At this point, you can go back and tweak
the color or touch up the shape if you need.
Image Credit headcovers.com
Cardani Eye Wigs have a variety of shapes and
colors with latex-free and gum adhesives. They
look just like your own and are 100% human hair.
Image Credit ardellllashes.com
Ardell Brow Defining Kit is a makeup alternate
that helps you line your brows with ease. Four
different colors to mimic the shades of your hair,
a specially shaped brush, and a wax stick keeps
your new brow realistic and in place until you
The missing piece