UAD November Digest 2021

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Out ‘n About at theCage / Digest GolfLeague Banquetat the Cage in LewistonThere are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The otheris as though everything is a miracle. – Albert EinsteinGENDRONNovember Eventsin Heritage Hall80’s Night featuring ClockworkBob RaymondTony, realgolfers don’t missputts, they getrobbed.Friday, Nov 5 – 8:00 PMDoor opens at 7:00 PM - Tickets are $10 eachShow sponsors: Champoux InsuranceNorway Savings Bank – Platz AssociatesUnderground ImprovSaturday, Nov 6 – 7:00 PMDoor opens at 6:00 PM - Tickets are $10 eachShow sponsors:Norway Savings Bank – Platz AssociatesKyle BennettAnd boy,do I get robbed alot! But I’ll play youstraight up rightnow.UNDERWRITERBricks and Bridges - Comedy FestNov 11-13 – 7:00 PMDoor opens at 6:00 PMTickets are $10 each in advance/$15 at the doorShow sponsors:Norway Savings Bank – Platz AssociatesMEDIA SPONSORSTony OlmsteadGENDRONOrder tickets:FrancoCenter.org orcall: (207) 689-200046 Cedar Street, Lewiston, ME 04240FrancoCenter.org • facebook.com/FrancoCenterUncle Andy’s Digest ...withJimbo20 Nov. 2021 783-7039There are four towns in the United States named “Turkey.” They can be found in Arizona,Texas, Louisiana, and North Carolina.
About two weeks into November, one turkey turns to his pal and says, “I have a feelingsomething’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”FriendRequestSubmitted by Steve SimardPresently, I am tryingto make friends outsideof Facebook whileapplying the sameprinciples.Therefore, every day Igo down on the streetand tell the passers-bywhat I have eaten, howI feel, what I did thenight before and what Iwill do tomorrow night.Then I give them picturesof my family, mydog, and me gardeningand spending time inmy pool.I also listen to theirconversations and tellthem I love them. Andit works! I already havethree people followingme... two police officersand a psychiatrist!DID YOUKNOW?The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents,aged 65 and older, that need assistance with bathing,medications, and meals.We provide a warm andcomfortable home for our residents41 Pleasant Street, Auburn • 207-783-0961Bonnie IwansButterball answers more than 100,000 turkey-cooking questions via theirButterball Turkey Hotline each November and December.The first nationalThanksgiving wasdeclared by PresidentGeorge Washingtonand was celebrated onNovember 26, 1789.In his “ThanksgivingProclamation of 1789”Washington definesthe day as a pioustime to thank God for,amongst other things,protecting Americansand helping themachieve independence.Uncle Andy’s DigestNov. 2021 UncleAndys.com...withJimbo21
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SDIGEST SINCEVeterans D
Page 3 and 4: We’ll worry about the Christmas t
Page 5 and 6: What did the pumpkin say after Than
Page 7 and 8: Don’t make Thanksgiving a cluster
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLYour one-stop shop for:
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSESteaks • P
Page 13 and 14: MONDAYHam ItaliansSm $2.29 Lg. $3.9
Page 15 and 16: Q: Can you tell the difference betw
Page 17 and 18: 2The Five Symptoms of Laziness:1.ED
Page 19: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESNowHiringWe’r
Page 23 and 24: When you teach a wolf to meditate -
Page 25 and 26: Wham, yam, thank you ma’am.We Hav
Page 27 and 28: I think the problem is that I’m 2
Page 29 and 30: Wish KidSawyer(aka Sonic Spider Boy
Page 31 and 32: A wise man once said, “Whatever y
Page 33 and 34: Jimbo asks Steve, “What is your s
Page 35 and 36: I don’t believe in reincarnation.
Page 37 and 38: CALL THE PROSBook Your Appointment
Page 39 and 40: Find Us At:A U B U R N5 4 5 M I N O

UAD November Digest 2021

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