Elpizo Connect Magazine Issue 2

MAGAZINE
CONNECT
ISSUE 02
MEN
OF VALOR
DO NEW DADS GET
POSTPARTUM
DEPRESSION?
MY JOURNEY
WITH MENTAL
HEALTH
ANXIETY &
DENTAL CARE

Editor-in-Chief - Ruth Baah-Gyebi
Creative Director - Sandra Gabriel
Elpizo Therapists
Ruth Baah-Gyebi
Elvis Baah-Gyebi
PAGE
PAGE
03
Antonia Villalba
Arpita Parikh
David Oluwajuyigbe
Isaac Amofa
Sue Neild
Michael Zionce
Contributors
Dr S. Parikh
Dan Bloch, RP, Serene Living
Jermaine Mclean
Kristen Drozda, RP, C.C.C., PMH-C PACE Counselling
Yvonne Rodney
Holiday Guide Contributors
Mary Lepage
Samantha Campbell
Vanessa Roper-Cunningham
Tala Barrage

Table of Contents

Featured Co
Dr. Kal Khaled, DDS, MSc
Dr. Khaled completed his dental degree at the University of
Toronto in 1986. He is a Dental Implant Specialist; his passion for
Implant Dentistry began more than 20 years ago.
Dr. Khaled has invested hundreds of hours into continuing
education to stay up to date with the latest in implant
procedures. His interest in this particular field even inspired him
to join the board of directors and become president at the
Toronto Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry. He also taught other
dentists part-time at the Faculty of Dentistry in Toronto.
He says he loves providing patients with dental implant solutions
(which are the closest thing to getting their “natural” teeth back)
– and his masters and specialty in Anesthesia means that he can
also safely sedate (put to sleep) patients with anxiety.
Dr. Khaled wears many hats; including that of a husband, a father
of two grown daughters, a competitive soccer player, a published
author and a friend of Elpizo.
You can find Dr. Kal (as he is dearly called) at his Practice,
Southdown Dental.

ntributors
Elvis “Dr. Love” Baah-Gyebi, M.Sc., RRT, RP, Clinical
Director
Elvis is an experienced registered psychotherapist, clinical
supervisor, international speaker and trainer. He is the
Co-Owner of Elpizo Counselling Services with his wife Ruth.
He works with individuals, couples, and families as well as on a
corporate level, coaching and empowering. If you have
encountered Elvis, you will know “he is in the building” with his
humor, vivacious and charismatic personality. When not
working, you will find him travelling with his wife, playing games
with the family, dancing, or cracking jokes somewhere.

Letter From The Editor
Do you have a man in your life? No! I am not talking about
a romantic relationship; I am asking if you know any men
- do you have a father, grandfather, husband, son, brother,
uncle, or male relatives? Do you have male colleagues or
male friends? If so, then this issue of Elpizo Connect is for
you; don’t stop reading, flip through the pages and you
will discover interesting facts and information about the
men in our lives.
Our focus this issue is on Men’s Health, Does men’s health
matter? I hear a resounding “YES,” yet research shows that
men are reluctant to seek out medical or mental health
treatment for themselves. They tend to have the attitude
of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Statistically, women
generally live longer than men throughout the world.
(Life Expectancy by Country and in the World (2021) -
Worldometer (worldometers.info). Our Canadian men
are dying at a distressing rate, either from chronic illness,
suicide, fatalities on the job, or other reasons and leaving
“us” loved ones behind. Can this alarming rate of death be
preventable? Absolutely: we are told that about 70% of
men’s health problems are preventable
(menshealthfoundation.ca) by living healthier lives.
November has been dedicated worldwide to bringing
awareness to men’s health and so, while in our maiden
issue of Elpizo Connect we celebrated Women’s
Accomplishments, in this issue we want to shine light,
increase knowledge, and bring awareness around issues
impacting men. This will help all of us to be intentional in
supporting and encouraging our men to seek necessary
help so that they can live longer, be around longer and
create wonderful memories with families and friends.
In this issue, you will find out about the history of
Movember, a movement founded by a couple of
Australian friends who initially thought to bring back
the mustache as a fashion statement and later the idea
expanded into using the movement to bring awareness
to men’s health. You will read articles on reasons why men
don’t visit the doctor or dentist or seek out mental health
support; read a personal story on how counselling saved
a life and marriage; information on the fact that men can
also suffer from postpartum depression and many more
interesting articles related to men’s health.
Cognisant that we are coming to the end of the
year, we have included some tips and guides on
surviving and enjoying the festive season.
At Elpizo Counselling Services, we continue to
be passionate about our work, and exemplify the
qualities of the biblical story “The Good Samaritan”
message; that is, getting off your donkey and
serving those in need. I am excited to inform
you that we have registered Elpizo Community
Connect as a non-profit organization to enable
us to apply for funding so that we can now assist
more people in the community with financial
challenges. Elpizo Community Connect is Elpizo
Counselling’s philanthropic arm that gives back to
the community through volunteering services at
prisons, in the community, fundraising, bringing
attention to causes that matter to us, offering
online support groups, and offering sliding scale
fees to enable more people to access mental
health services.
This Fall, Elpizo Community Connect (ECC) was
able to partner with another non-profit
organization, SOVEREIGN Core, to offer several
online support groups for women only, and we
are hoping that in the New Year we will be able to
offer men-only groups as well. There are groups
still running that you can sign up to, so open up
the covers and find out how to register.
I would love to know what resonates with you
within these pages, and would love to hear from
you what to include in future issues.
I want to thank all our male therapists, interns,
colleagues and friends for their knowledge,
expertise, collaboration and contributions. I want
to especially acknowledge our external colleagues
and friends who contributed to this issue to make
it even more substantial; Dr. K Khaled, Dr. S. Parikh,
Kristen Drozda, (resident perinatal specialist, PACE
Counselling), Dan Bloch (Sereneliving
Counselling), Yvonne Rodney (Author, Poet,
Playwright), and Jermaine Mclean, a brave man of
valor who shared his personal story to
encourage other men. To our readers, clients,
supporters, and referring agencies, thank you!
Let me take this opportunity on behalf of all our
therapists, Elvis, and myself in wishing you a
stress-free festive season. Please know there is life
after Christmas, so don’t overspend, but rather
overspend quality time with family and friends;
talk, laugh, love, create memories and stay
blessed!
Ruth
MSc. RP

Men’s Health
The Need for Targeted Lifestyle Interventions
By: David Oluwajuyigbe MA, RP(Q)
The ‘problems’ of men’s health behaviours have attracted significant attention in
literature, with different conclusions and recommendations. As we mark Men’s Health
month this year still in the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic, I find it beneficial to note
several critical health behaviours known to impact male morbidity and mortality. In this
regard, I want to share the results of interesting research by Flannigan et al. (2019) on
composite health behaviour classifiers as the basis for targeted interventions and
global comparisons in men’s health. These researchers completed a cross-sectional
analysis of 2000 Canadian men aged 18 and over, drawn from 5362 visitors to an online
survey page. The Canadian Composite Classification of Health Behaviour (CCCHB) score
was used to classify the number of unhealthy men among these samples. The
behaviours evaluated include exercise, diet, smoking, sleep, and alcohol intake.
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• Exercise: Men achieving at least 150 minutes of moderate to strenuous exercise per
week were classified as healthy, per the Canadian Physical Activity Guidelines for
18–64-year-olds.
• Diet: Unhealthy foods were defined as those identified in the literature to be
associated with adverse health outcomes, including foods high in salt, saturated fats,
and refined sugar. Healthy foods were defined as those related to positive health
outcomes. They included those high in mono or polyunsaturated fats, as well as five
or more servings of fruits and vegetables per day.
• Sleep: Men sleeping seven or eight hours per night were classified as healthy in
accordance with the National Sleep Foundation’s updated sleep duration
recommendations and literature consensus that demonstrates optimal health
outcomes associated with seven hours of sleep per night.
• Alcohol: A score of <4 in the validated Audit-C screening questionnaire was
considered healthy.
• Smoking: Men were classified as healthy if they were non-smokers or ex-smokers
• Total health behaviour classification: Men were classified as ‘very healthy’ if they
demonstrated no unhealthy behaviours; ‘healthy’ if they had one unhealthy
behaviour; ‘borderline’ if they had two unhealthy behaviours; and ‘unhealthy’ if they
had 3–5 unhealthy behaviours.

The research findings indicated that only 5.9% of the sampled Canadian men engaged in
all five healthy behaviours. An overwhelming 41.5% of Canadian men had 3/5 unhealthy
behaviours, affirming the need for targeted lifestyle interventions.
Although the etiology of increased mortality among men is unclear, the evidence
suggests that biological, environmental, psychological, and behavioural factors are at play.
Key health behaviours associated with mortality and morbidity have repeatedly
identified lack of exercise, poor diets, smoking, alcohol overuse, and poor sleep to be
primary contributors. Collectively, the impact of these health behaviours on chronic
disease is significant. Studies have identified compounding risks of mortality and
morbidity, with each added unhealthy behaviour (Tamakoshi, Tamakoshi, Lin, Yagyu, &
Kikuchi, 2009; Ford, Bergmann, Boeing, & Capewell, 2012). Studies have predicted that
elimination of unhealthy behaviours would prevent 80% of heart disease, stroke, Type
2 diabetes and 40% of cancers in the general population (Katon, Russo, Heckbert, et al.,
2010). Therefore, as we mark this year’s Men’s Health month, I want to give a shout out to
men to undertake a critical review of their lifestyles in these five areas: exercise, diet, sleep,
alcohol intake and smoking.
Happy Men’s Health month!!

My love of cultures and different ways of living led me
to travel to over 20 cities on 5 continents. Similarly,
my own experience with yoga and mindfulness led
me to pursue my Yoga Teacher certification in 2016
in order to be able to help others integrate a healthy
body with a healthy mind. I strongly believe that
regular yoga and meditation practices lead to many
holistic health benefits including reducing stress,
enhancing mental functioning, regulating emotions,
and creating greater self-awareness.
Joline Hanna,
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying),
Elpizo Counselling
Valor
By: Elvis Baah-Gyebi, M.Sc., RRT, RP, Clinical Director
PAGEMen of
10
Growing up, my father once told me, “You
cannot give what you don’t have.” I used to
wonder what that meant, but over the years,
that adage has become clearer to me, and even
more so as a professional, a psychotherapist
and a dad. I am known for my analogies, adages,
and metaphors in session. Here’s another one to
drive the message to the point: “You can’t pour
from an empty cup.”
Most men have great intentions to be the best
they can be in their professional and
personal lives. As men, whether you are a
biological father, stepfather, foster dad, uncle,
mentor, or an honorary father, your role as a
father is invaluable and an integral part of a
child’s emotional development. Although any
man can father a child, there is much more to
this great calling of being a dad in a child’s life.
My question is, how full is your cup as you pour
into society, your work, and your personal and
family life?
Generally speaking, most men rarely seek out
medical attention unless their significant other
or a family member makes them go, let alone
seek out counselling. Some men struggle with
anger, addictions, domestic violence, sexual
abuse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and
depression, etc. Mental illness and emotional
deprivation were not topics discussed openly
when I was a child.
There is overwhelming pressure for men to be
tough. Men are “supposed” to be strong,
emotionless and deal with their pain silently.

In a TED Talk by Tony Porter, “A call to men,” he
shared that he has two children who are a year
apart in age, one male and one female. When
the female cries, his initial reaction is, “Daddy’s
got you,” and he will cuddle and console her.
On the other hand, when his son cries, his initial
reaction will be, “Why are you crying? Hold your
head up and talk to me like a man;” meanwhile,
his son is only 5 years old, yet is expected to talk
like a man. Isn’t this the case for many other men
growing up?
What we received from our fathers, not showing
emotions and expectations to be tough, is what
we in turn gave to our sons. It then becomes an
ongoing cycle. Now is the moment to break the
ongoing cycle and change our script, so we can
give our most valuable side to our children.
As a psychotherapist, I hear a lot from my clients
during sessions and participants when I present
at conferences that when they were growing up,
children were seen but not heard. The expression
“children should be seen and not heard” is an old
English proverb, dating back to the 15th century.
In its original form, it was specifically directed to
young women, who were expected to keep quiet.
This opinion is recorded in the 15th century
collection of homilies written by an Augustinian
clergyman called John Mirk in Mirk’s Festial, circa
1450.
Though the expression initially was meant for
young women, over the centuries, it has been
directed to all children. Every human being
regardless of age, race, gender, background or
religious affiliation are entitled to be both seen
and heard. Building healthy emotional relationship
with children is vital for their mental and
emotional growth.
Emotional Deprivation is another form of
disorder that is not widely understood by people.
Many people experience it, but it goes unnoticed.
N. Sam M.S in Psychology Dictionary defines
emotional deprivation as “The lack of warmth,
affection and interest by the caregiver to the
child. In emotional deprivation a parent will
deprive a child of warmth and affection.”
Ashley Gilmour, a clinical psychologist,
highlighted the causes of emotional deprivation
and commented that “Emotional deprivation
schema develops very early on in childhood in
people where the main caregiver was not
emotionally supportive. This is different from
physical deprivation. The child was well-fed, had
toys to play with, and their other physical needs
were met too, but their emotional needs were
ignored. It is actually the case that children are
very stressed in these situations and tend to
develop ways to try and make sense of them and
their reactions. When a child’s emotional needs
are not met, he or she feels invisible, uncared for,
and unimportant. Basically, they feel like their
existence doesn’t matter. They fail to develop a
connection to those around them.” Ashley
Gilmour further describes the impact that
“People with emotional deprivation schema
report feeling lonely, bitter, and depressed, but
aren’t aware of the reason…Often, they feel
misunderstood and alone. They may feel empty,
invisible, or cheated.”
I still hear my father’s words, “You cannot give
what you don’t have,” to be one of the best
quotes I have come to cherish in my life. The
question is, what do you want to give to your
children that you feel you cannot give? How full
or empty is your cup? Are you struggling with a
mental, spiritual, physical, or emotional illness?
The oxygen mask rule is so pertinent in our lives;
before you go airborne in the plane, the flight
attendants, as part of the safety protocols, inform
that our own masks must be worn first in cases of
emergency, before we help even the child on our
laps or other people that might need help.

The key reason is that, in the process of fixing
someone’s oxygen mask, you might pass out
and put the child next to you in danger. In
therapy, I often ask my clients this question:
How many times are we busy and so focused on
fixing other people’s oxygen masks, when we
have not put on our own mask?
Let us take responsibility and be intentional
about self-care and being healthy, so that we
can pour from a fuller and healthier cup. Don’t
be embarrassed, held back by stigma or societal
norms from seeking professional help.
Men of valor, you are not alone in this journey
of being the best you can be, personally,
professionally and in raising up children to be
champions. Inhale oxygen of greatness, hope,
courage, love, purpose and exhale carbon
dioxide of anxiety, anger, frustration and fear.

Movember
By: Sue Neild, MA, RP (Q)
According to the Canadian Cancer Society, CCS (2021), prostate cancer is the
most common form of cancer among men. The American Cancer Society, ACS
(2021), reported that autopsies of men who died of other causes, revealed that
many had undiagnosed prostate cancer of which neither they nor their doctors
were aware.
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Regular screening is one of the most active steps a man can take to reduce the
risk, as early detection is a powerful ally. There are also many different
treatments available, depending on the type and stage, and patients’ choice.
These include observation, surgery, radiation, cryotherapy, hormone, chemo,
and immunotherapy. Most prostate cancers are adenocarcinomas and are
slow-growing, however there are some that are fast growing and more likely
to metastasize and therefore early detection is your best weapon (CCS, 2021).
Although some risk factors are not changeable, such as age (60% are 65 and
above), race/ethnicity (increased risk for African Americans or Caribbean men
of African descent), and family history of reproductive cancers, there are things
you can do to reduce your overall risk. Areas you can influence to potentially
reduce your risk include diet, weight, smoking, and chemical exposure (i.e.
firefighters). Physical activity, some medications, supplements, vitamins and
minerals are also considered to reduce the risk of developing prostate cancer.
Movember, started in 2003, is the biggest fundraising and awareness campaign
for men’s mental health, suicide prevention, prostate cancer, and testicular
cancer. Men are encouraged to grow mustaches to raise money and awareness
for these vitally important issues. Funds raised are used in collaboration with
leading researchers worldwide to back innovative research projects to achieve
the fastest possible results (Movember, 2021). To date, Movember has funded
1250 men’s health projects worldwide.
For more information on prostate cancer or other cancers, you can contact the
Canadian Cancer Society at 1-888-939-3333, or the American Cancer Society at
1-800-227-2345.

Prostate
Health Awareness
Prostate Hypertrophy
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland at the base of the bladder, surrounding the
urethra. It secretes prostatic fluid into the urethra during ejaculation to nourish and
protect sperm.
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After age 40, the prostate gland increases in size due to hormonal changes. Therefore,
men older than 40 should be tested for proper PSA (prostate-specific antigen) levels to
ensure healthy functioning, as early diagnosis of prostate conditions are important for
effective treatment.
Elevated PSA levels can indicate prostatic hypertrophy (enlargement) or prostate cancer.
Symptoms of Prostate Hypertrophy (Enlargement)
Prostate hypertrophy often results in urinary difficulties: increased frequency of
urination, blood in the urine, or complete urine retention are the most common
symptoms.
Prostate cancer may occur alongside, or separately from prostate hypertrophy. It most
commonly develops in men aged 65-75, often alongside urinary disorders. Other
symptoms include urinating at night (awakened by urge to urinate), frequent urination,
or painful urination.

Causes of Prostate Hypertrophy
• Hormonal changes in aging males
• High dairy intake
• Overuse of vitamin supplements
• It is preferable to get most nutrients from foods, rather than
supplements
• Excess B Vitamins
• Excess Zinc
• Excess Calcium
• Lack of Iodine
• Lack of Selenium
• Lack of sunlight and Vitamin D deficiency
Prostatitis
Prostatitis is an inflammation of the prostate gland. If left untreated, it
can contribute to sexual impotence and difficulty urinating.
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Causes of Prostatitis:
• Infectious bacteria
• Bladder infection
• Hormonal changes
• Urine retention
Types of Prostatitis
• Acute Infectious Prostatitis
• Caused by bacteria
• Chronic Infectious Prostatitis
• Caused by bacteria
• Indicated by recurring bladder infections
• Non-infectious Prostatitis
• Frequent urination with pain
• Pain after ejaculation
• Lower abdominal pain

Dietary Recommendations for Prostate Health:
Eat:
• Fresh fruit:
• Berries, apples, oranges, grapefruit, grapes, pineapples, kiwis,
pomegranates, guava
• Vegetables:
• Beets, carrots, spinach, kale, celery, collard greens, broccoli,
cabbage, cauliflower, radishes
• Organic soybeans and soy products
• Kelp and Pink Himalayan Sea Salt (to maintain iodine levels)
• Eat according to a regular schedule, with meals 5-6 hours apart
ideally
• Drink 64oz (2 litres) of water a day, including 16-32oz of warm
water upon waking
• Drink water 15-30 minutes before meals, or 2 hours after meals
Avoid:
• Milk and dairy products
• Meat and meat by-products, eggs (these may increase risk of
prostate cancer)
• Spicy foods: hot peppers, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg
• Fried Foods and unhealthy oils
• Substitute olive oil
• Highly processed foods
• White breads, flours, and sugars
• Substitute whole grain items
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Lifestyle Recommendations for Prostate Concerns:
• Daily exercise
• Get plenty of sleep, ideally going to bed by 10:00pm
• Maintain a healthy weight
• Reduce unhealthy cholesterol levels
• Increase fluid intake (Drink at least 48oz/1.5L daily)
• Do not let your bladder become too full
• Avoid prolonged heat around the prostate (e.g., laptops on lap, or
prolonged heated seats)
• Avoid excessively bumpy horseback, motorcycle, or bicycle riding
• During treatment period for prostate conditions, avoid most
sexual activity and stimulation

Herbal and Dietary Recommendations for Prostate Concerns:
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17
• Test your Vitamin D levels (via your doctor) to ensure your levels are sufficient, and
supplement as required
• Pumpkin Seeds
• 100% Cranberry Juice
• Flax Seed
• Wheat Germ
• Tahini Butter
• String Beans
• Blackstrap Molasses
• Recommended Herbs and Supplements:
• Acidophilus Probiotics, with Digestive Enzymes
• Turmeric capsules
• Saw Palmetto Pygeum with Lycopene
• Garlinase or fresh Garlic
• Stinging Nettle Tea
• Cornsilk Tea
• Parsley Tea
Hydrotherapy:
Improves blood circulation in the prostate region.
1. Sit in hot water for 15-30 minutes, 1-2 times a day. Chamomile tea can also be added
to the water.
2. 3 times a day, spray the lower abdomen and pelvic area with hot water for 3 minutes
alternating with 1 minute of cold water. You can use hot and cold cloths as an
alternative.
Source: Natural Healing Through the Laws of Health (www.nhtlh.com)
*Important Note: Before making any changes, please contact a health care professional*

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Avoiding
Mental
Health
Treatment
By: Dr. Samir Parikh
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19
The average man is as likely to ask for help
with a psychological problem as he is to ask for
directions. It is a well-known fact that men are
very reluctant to seek help when it comes to
their physical health, and even more so for their
mental health.
As a practicing general practitioner for over
20 years, I have seen this time and time again.
Some studies have shown that internalized
masculine norms are contributing factors to
this reluctance. Men have preconceived notions
that they are to be strong, successful,
self-reliant, in control, and capable. They are
often raised with teachings that they are
supposed to be stoic and are discouraged from
showing vulnerabilities. Generally, the
prospect of being labelled as mentally ill seems
to be exceptionally more unacceptable to men
than it is for women. When men begin to
experience issues with their mental health,
they often find it difficult to recognize it and
even more challenging to discuss these issues.
Once they realize that they may be suffering
from mental health issues, they may go to great
lengths to hide their emotions and feelings.
Men are also often known to use drugs and
alcohol as a way of self-medicating instead of
opting for the healthier option of seeking
counselling or therapy. Ultimately, if they make
the difficult decision to seek treatment, they
may do so without others knowing.
Undoubtedly there exists the potential for
adverse consequences for their reluctance
to seek help. They may develop maladaptive
behaviours, substance abuse issues, and in
more severe instances, may become suicidal
or homicidal. It is alarming to learn that men
are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than
women, highlighting the importance for men
to seek necessary treatment.

In my medical experience, men will often
seek help upon insistence from their
spouses or other family members.
This pattern is also noted with men’s
physical health issues. They maintain the
same tough attitude and demeanour,
often resulting in them waiting a very
long time before seeking medical
attention. Such avoidance and delay can
result in late diagnoses of cancers, heart
disease, and many other health
conditions. Psychoeducation at a young
age can undoubtedly help to prevent
some of these issues. If the stigma
surrounding mental health can be
reduced and the importance of seeking
treatment emphasized, it will increase
the likelihood of men seeking treatment
sooner rather than later. While it is not
always possible to prevent the
development of mental or physical health
issues, early detection plays a pivotal role
in more favourable outcomes.
It is quite encouraging however, that in
recent years I have observed a subtle
yet promising change in men’s attitudes
towards the importance of seeking
mental and physical care. Albeit this
change of heart is often prompted by
spouses or family members. I do believe
that with increased awareness and
psychoeducation, mental and
physical health care professionals will
notice a positive trend in men seeking
much-needed treatment.

My Struggle With
Mental Health
By: Jermaine Mclean
Life is like a business plan; it’s always evolving and
requires adjustment to ensure the business performs
at its maximum potential. Therapy should be included
with your business plan!

A culture steeped in toxic masculinity was the
root of my upbringing in the countryside in
Jamaica. These ideas and beliefs were further
reinforced when I came to Canada in my teens
and they still reverberate around me today as
an adult.
Growing up in Jamaica, boys were never
encouraged to express their emotions; instead,
the narrative for boys and men was that
“emotions are a sign of weakness.” When I was
a young boy, I recall that every time I got hurt
or upset and I cried, the response from all of
the adults around me was that “if I didn’t stop
crying, I would be given a reason to cry.” I am
sure this baffled me then as much as it does
now, yet this was the norm. From a young
age, it was instilled and constantly reinforced
in me that showing any type of emotion was
not what boys and men did. Once I reached
my teens, young men in my neighborhood
used to make fun of me whenever I told them
I had strong feelings for a girl or if I expressed,
I wanted a relationship with someone instead
of just sex. Once again, toxic masculinity
was rearing its ugly head and instilling and
reinforcing the idea that men have sexual
prowess and should dominate women in the
bedroom without any care or emotions for the
woman. Anything outside of that made one a
“wuckless (worthless) man.” Television programs,
radio, movies, music and magazines
that I was commonly exposed to only spoke
about polygamy and sex.
Communicating my emotions, expressing my
emotional needs and sadness was rarely
encouraged. My default, even now as an adult,
is to suppress my emotions when I’m hurt or
when I’m feeling sad or vulnerable. I cover my
sadness by showing strength, because only
then will people respect me. But even
deeper than that is the belief that only then
am I worthy of their respect, mi nuh want fi bi
nuh “wuckless man” (Jamaican accent).
At the tender age of 20, my first child was
born. It was unplanned... This was the
beginning of my battle with stress, anxiety
and depression. The thought of telling my
parents that I was about to have a child at
20 felt ten times worse than receiving the
news myself. In that moment, I reverted back
to fourteen-year-old me - the boy who had
been taught not to catch feelings, let alone
a baby. Naturally, I expected my mom and
step-father to be sad and upset, but I hoped
I would get their support and reassurance as
this news had placed me at my lowest point.
The bright future I had envisioned for myself
no longer seemed possible, as I was about to
be tied down to the biggest responsibility of
my life thus far. I did not realize it at the time,
because I did not have the language or the
know-how to recognize what was happening,
but I was grieving the life I would no longer
have. I needed my parents to tell me it wasn’t
over and that things would turn around, but
instead, they said I ruined my life and they
made it quite clear that I was about to be a
failure. Many of my family members’ attitudes
towards me also shifted. It seemed every day
my lowest point got even lower. Eventually,
everyone came around and accepted me and
my daughter; however, the harm was already
done. I was broken and I felt defeated and
alone. I couldn’t acknowledge my emotions or
even begin to heal because I was inextricably
tied to the ideas of toxic masculinity. I was
determined to prove them all wrong, to show
them and the world I was no “wuckless man.”
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21
I didn’t have a good example of a father
dehumanize me or others. I am facing my
growing up. My dad denied me as his child traumatic past and breaking generational
From the outside, things looked perfect! • A feeling of numbness at work
before I was born and my uncles (my mom’s curses.
I had a great career, a loving husband, • A lack of creativity
brothers) seemed to take great pleasure in
a beautiful daughter, and another little • Decreased performance
constantly disciplining me for my mistakes. I have to admit, I was a bit biased towards
one on the way. We owned our home
Knowing what it felt like to not have a dad or therapy. I have always thought, “only people
and were surrounded by a community As someone who didn’t even recognize
constant support growing up, my sole purpose who are weak go to therapists.” To my surprise,
of supportive friends.
burnout for what it was until I was well
in life became being there for my daughter and it’s actually quite the opposite. It takes courage
out of it, I would like to share some
succeeding without asking anyone for help. and self-awareness to realize when your
But one day, I remember leaving the steps that were instrumental in getting
I failed. I failed miserably. I accumulated a large problems are bigger than your ability to fix
Emergency Department after an
me to where I am today.
amount of debt, which resulted in me filing a them. I am by no means flawless; I believe I still
overnight shift, and before the double
consumer proposal and becoming a slave to have a long journey ahead to heal from the
doors had a chance to close behind Reflect on the Past
my job and anyone that would pay me a likkle hurt I have endured over the past thirty-plus
me, a stream of hot tears began to run
(little) money. I was in survival mode, and my years. If any men out there can relate to any
down my face. Well into my 3rd
One of the significant exercises I did
pride and the deep hurt I felt would not allow part of my story, I highly recommend we break
trimester, I power-walked to my car and was to contact about 10 of my closest
me to ask for help. I ended up in a toxic work the negative stigmas regarding therapy; it
sat behind the wheel, careful to make family members and friends to ask them
environment once they realized how desperate works and I am living proof that it can change
sure that the on-coming staff didn’t see about my strengths (and not weakness).
I was for an income. Over time, I was gaslighted, your life if you commit to the process. I am
me breaking down in the parking lot. I sent them the following message:
belittled, ostracized, subjected to racism, and happy today because I broke unhealthy thinking
patterns and reshaped my perspective on
outright taken advantage of. My understanding
It had been a long, draining shift,
“I am looking to get clarity on some of
of who I was, my happiness, my family, and the life.
and I knew I hadn’t given my best to my strengths. I value your opinion and
things I loved were all but a blur and fading
my patients. At the time, I attributed would appreciate if you could send me
faster day by day. I lost myself...I was just Life is like a business plan; it’s always evolving
lack-of-fulfillment to sleep-deprivation 3 - 5 of my best qualities. What are some
surviving.
and requires adjustment to ensure the business
and hormones. Now that I’m on the of the things you come to me for, or
performs at its maximum potential. Therapy
other side of it, I realize that what I was things you believe I am good at?”
A few years later, I left my ex (the mother of my should be included with your business plan!
feeling went far beyond third-trimester
two kids). We had grown apart quite
tiredness. was burnt-out.
They all gave similar answers, and upon
considerably and nothing I did to try and My wife and I host a podcast weekly,
reflection, I realized that I wasn’t
reconcile was working. I then met my beautiful @sisonkepodcast, where we talk about our
What is Burnout?
spending any time exercising my
wife in Vancouver, BC. I guess something good experiences around many of the topics I mentioned
today, including my struggle with
strengths.
did come out of working for a toxic company
Although there is no agreed-upon
that does not appreciate Black excellence and postpartum depression after my kids were
definition of burnout, it is generally Other things you might want to reflect
talent! From the start, my wife has been my born. Men can get it too but it is not often talked
about. Talking about my feelings, connect-
accepted to be the result of ongoing on are:
biggest fan and motivator. She helped reshape
stress due to high demands. According
my perspective on self-care, self-worth, family ing with my
•
emotional
What activities
needs and
did
expressing
you love to do
to the Institute for Quality and
and the importance of therapy. Fast forward them does not growing make me up? “wuckless.” Daily I am
Efficiency in Health Care (IQWiG),
eight years, a wedding, and a baby, and my wife dismantling • the What ways are in which some hobbies toxic masculinity
shows up around that have me, and been therapy long-forgotten? is a huge
you had
burnout leads to:
and I made the decision to move back to
Ontario. We sought counselling during our part of that.
• A decrease in physical energy
• What did you always want to be
transition and it was a true lifesaver for my life
• Emotional exhaustion
growing up, especially if life took
and marriage. Therapy has really turned my life
you on a different turn?
around and reshaped my perspective as a man,
father, and husband. I am re-framing what it
means to be a man in healthy ways that don’t

I am the proud father of two boys and two
girls, working as a Regional Operations
Manager for a manufacturing and
maintenance company. I’m a foodie, who
enjoys, nature, traveling, good
While reflecting on these questions and writing company them and down, deep conversations. you may begin “Treat
to see a disconnect between the tasks you others perform the way on a you daily would basis, like and to the be treated”.
things that bring you fulfillment. This type Connect of disconnect with me is @sisonkepodcast.
a major cause of
burnout.
I acknowledge that I live and work on the
Look to the Future
ancestral, unceded and traditional territories
of the Anishinabewaki, Huron-Wendat and
If someone asked you, “where do you see the yourself Haudenosaunee at age 80”, would Nations. you be
able to give them a clear answer? A year ago, I certainly couldn’t. I couldn’t
see a vision for my life beyond getting through the next shift!
I invite you to ask yourself the same question: What is your 80-year-old self
up to? How is she feeling? What are the things she is telling you about how
you’ve lived your life?
Having a vision for your future helps you choose opportunities that will
bring you closer to that goal while discarding activities that will take you
further away from it.
PAGE
24
Listen to your Body
In general, women are gifted with a sense of intuition. We know when
something is off with our bodies, we know when our loved ones aren’t quite
themselves, and importantly, we know when things aren’t right with our
emotions.
If the symptoms of burnout feel familiar to you, I encourage you to take 5
minutes a day and reflect on the exercises suggested. And perhaps you feel
overwhelmed by the thought of navigating the work that comes with
burnout. If so, then please seek the support of a professional counsellor.

Africans’ Reluctance to
Counselling
By: Isaac Amofa, MA
Africans take pride in their cultural
norms and values that help with
determining how they perceive
their surroundings. As an African
with family members who have
migrated from Ghana to the United Kingdom
and Canada, I have first-hand knowledge and
experience of how counselling is perceived
amongst some African communities. Africans
generally rely on their elders for counselling
and guidance during difficult times, and
therefore find it difficult to seek psychological
support or counselling from a stranger.
culturally diverse enough to meet the needs of their
ethnicity. It is therefore noted that Africans will more
readily embrace a therapist with a similar ethnic
background, as they will better understand their culture.
Stigma is placed on someone who has an
undesired characteristic and who is therefore
excluded from full social acceptance. Some of
the core reasons why many African individuals
tend not to seek professional services is on
account of fear of being seen as unstable. As a
result, they prefer to handle their own
business rather than seeking professional
help. In addition to stigmatization, there is an
understanding within the African community
that dominant models of counselling are not

Africans place a lot of emphasis on gender roles.
It is also believed that black men are resistant to
counselling because of their reluctance to express
their fears or emotions to therapists who mainly
are women. Another belief states that expressing
emotions is more associated with females and can
be seen as weak. Findings have suggested that
African women are more open towards the
prospect of counselling than their male counterparts.
They also tend to seek counselling support
among each other and are more likely to pursue
help from individuals close to them. These are
some of the strategies which have helped them to
cope well under difficult and challenging
circumstances.
In modern times, a change in attitude
about religion by psychology has been
observed. Sorenson (2004) conducted
an extensive literature review and found
that, since Freud’s death in 1939, the
reference to religion being pathological
has dropped by 59%. One reason may
be that psychologists cannot ignore the
sheer number of people who believe in
God or a higher power (Cremins, 2002).
Eighty-two percent of Americans
identify with a Christian religion.
Sixty-two percent of Americans are
a member of a church or synagogue
(Newport, 2007).
Many Africans base their mental health strongly
on their faith. Religion and spirituality are deeply
ingrained in their culture and failure to highlight
and recognize this will pose some hindrance to
progress in the counsellor-client relationship.
Africans tend to rely on those who share the same
faith or those who hold a greater social position.
These individuals are viewed as more
knowledgeable and wiser. Their religion helps
them find a sense of self, and it’s very important
to them. Interestingly, Carl Jung believed one of
the worst problems he saw in persons is in those
who had not found a religion. He thought persons
could not heal mentally if they had not found a
religious outlook (Fayard, 2006).
In helping to encourage Africans to seek
counselling, there should be an
understanding of how counsellors
address client problems from the
context of cultural norms and values.
It is the hope that the information
provided in this article will assist mental
health professionals to better
understand some of the specific needs
of their African clients regarding
counselling. This in turn may increase
the sensitivity of the therapist towards
African clients’ needs; increase the
quality of care to African clients and
awareness in relation to gender roles
amongst Africans; and help African
clients who are apprehensive about
modern-day counselling, by increasing
their comfort level in seeking assistance
for mental health issues.
PAGE
26

PAGE
25

Marriage:
Starting Fresh
By: Michael Zionce
The unfortunate reality is that most couples don’t seek counselling until things have
significantly deteriorated and there are layers upon layers of painful memories and regret.
When an individual is experiencing a lot of anger, disappointment and remorse, it’s very
difficult to see a hopeful future.
In couples’ counselling, there is a time to look at the past and to learn from it. However, it is
possible that probing too intently into a couple’s past could produce more conflict and ill
will, thus reinforcing the rut that they are in. Often it is best to steer the therapy in another
direction, as opposed to focusing on old mistakes. That which was done right and the couple’s
successes should be examined. Consequently, a promising vision of the future can emerge.
PAGE
28
In couples’ counselling, I will ask clients, what I like to call, the fresh start miracle question;
“What if you both woke up one morning and had forgotten every negative thing that has
taken place in your marriage? If that happened, what would your relationship look like on
that day?” This question invites the client to envision and describe how the relationship can
dramatically shift should a new focus occur. It suggests that it is conceivable that things can
begin to change in mere moments should a different perspective be adopted. In turn, the
client is provided with a window into how his/her negative thinking is weighing down the
process. And in doing so, the client is taken out of their present concern, and sessions are
primed to be infused with hopeful thoughts about the future.
A couple had been attending couples’ counselling for some time and their
situation began to improve. However, the lady was reminded by a friend of
something her husband said twenty years prior. Both the husband and the wife
had forgotten that incident. However, the woman was now infuriated that her
husband had once spoken to her in that way, and tensions began to escalate
again.

Upon entering couples’ counselling, each spouse often feels unappreciated and that he or
she has contributed more to the relationship/household. Hence, thoughts like, “It’s mostly my
spouse’s fault,” or “What have you done for me lately?” have been playing out for some time.
Both parties come to therapy with a negative mindset and the motivation to prove that they
are not the real problem, to get the therapist on his/her side and ultimately to change their
partner. Thus begins a long difficult process of the “blame game” and denial on both sides.
An old mindset: In the United States, 50% of first marriages and 67% of second
marriages end in divorce. Experts explain that the mindset that is carried over from
the previous marriage is a key-contributing factor for the extremely high divorce
rate in second marriages. Faber (2004) notes that many second marriages are
plagued with anxiety stemming from the unresolved issues of the first marriage.
Where does one truly experience married life, in the family room, in the bedroom, wherever a
couple is together? “Married life” occurs in an individual’s head. The most crucial quality in
relationships is presence of mind. The way a spouse thinks is the way he/she will act. Ultimately,
marriage is a reflection of one’s level of consciousness in the moment. I will ask a couple, “How
long will it take for you to live with a more consistent higher state of mind in which you are not
constantly brought down by your thoughts?” If they say, “three months,” I answer, “Until that
time, your marriage probably won’t get any better.”
PAGE
29

In an attempt to salvage a marriage, it is commonly suggested – often to the man – that he
be more complimentary, should help out more, or should buy flowers and presents. Although
these are positive gestures, they are surface attempts at improving the relationship. What is
really needed is not just kind words, favours or gifts, but the removal of obstructive layers of
thought and the revelation of one’s true self. This is when a real connection with another can be
achieved. Often an individual already knows how to be a sensitive, caring and attentive spouse,
and he or she intuitively understands how to bring out the best in his or her partner. The key is
to have the presence of mind to be in the moment, and not to get lost or manipulated by one’s
negative thinking or low mood.
In summary, for the couple that has been struggling in their marriage, a difficult past can feel
like a great wall. However, even though the relationship has been influenced with the thought
of many negative memories, as one focuses on the present the barrier fades. Beyond that
obstacle one will find his/her beloved waiting on the other side of the wall – in that place
tremendous intimacy awaits. Recently, I was asked, “What is the secret to a good marriage?” I
responded, “To live in the moment and not in one’s thoughts.” The individual responded, “That
sounds like the trick to be successful in all aspects of life.” I said, “Exactly!”
PAGE
30

New Dads Need Postpartum Care
It’s not just a maternal thing
By: Kristen Drozda, RP, C.C.C., PMH-C PACE Counselling
Did you know that 10%-20% of dads experience postpartum
depression and 2.4%-18% experience postpartum
anxiety? This statistic is not much different than for
women, which shows about 20% experience perinatal
mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). And yet, we are not
screening men for perinatal mental health at all.
Dads also see a shift in hormones postpartum, which can
contribute to experiences of PMADs; for example, a
decrease in testosterone, increase in cortisol, or increase in
oxytocin. Additionally, they experience the transition and
pressure of having a new baby. We often mask signs of
depression and anxiety or make excuses for what could be
symptoms (you know, you just had a new baby; of course,
you’re feeling….) making it even more difficult for dads to
get the support they need.
So how do we recognize postpartum mental health in
men? Here are some things to look out for and ask your
doctor about:
• difficulty sleeping
• feeling anxious
• low mood (feeling burnt out or empty)
• lower impulse control
• restlessness
• difficulty making decisions
• withdrawal from things you enjoy
• irritability
• feelings of worthlessness and guilt after the birth of a
child
Socialization is also a contributing factor, often leaving
men with the impression their role is to support the family
through earning, status and antifeminity. Furthermore,
there is a prevailing idea that there is little they can do
with infants and young children (Dr. Daniel Singley, 2020).
This is an old school of thought that has been passed on
through generations and is just not true.

The role men often need permission to take
is one of nurture and hands-on care, being
emotionally open to both mom and baby and
a feeling of being present for the child.
For this to happen we need to support new
dads just like we support new moms. Men’s
mental health is highly interrelated with their
experience of parenthood. What we know,
according to Rominov, Giallo,
Pilkington, & Whelan (2017), is dads prefer
supports that are:
• Informal supports from friends, family,
work or online information
• From other fathers directly
• An on-the-fly approach to seeking
• support. 40%-50% of new dads turn to
the internet or social media for parenting
advice
• Dads who are resistant to traditional
• psychotherapy are more open to
• parenting support (which can in turn
• support mental health)
The more a new dad is involved with their
baby/young child the more benefits we see.
For example, children show higher IQ, social
skills, and empathy while the dad experiences
fewer mental health issues and increased
relationship satisfaction and the mom also
has fewer mental health issues as well as
more responsiveness and affection.
• Connect regularly with mom about
• parenting, how you’re both doing and
where you (both) need help
• Know your role is more than “provider”
and be open to being there emotionally
• Have social supports – connect with other
dads
• Seek professional support if needed.
• Take time out for yourself. Encourage your
partner to do the same.
• Ask your partner to give you 1:1 time with
the baby (You GOT this!)
If we can plan for a new baby and include
dads as an integral piece of the puzzle, they
can feel more confident about taking on an
active role that values the family as a whole
and the child’s healthy development.
As a society, we need to take a whole-family
approach to a new baby’s well-being to make
sure everyone’s needs are being met.
PAGE
32
Some tips to be more involved with the new
baby, support the family and develop a
secure attachment with the child are below.
• Be involved! You can do anything a mom
can do with the baby. The more involved
you are the more the baby will develop
that connection with you.
• Learn about baby/child development and
tune into your own child’s needs

Understanding
Internet Addiction
By: Dan Bloch, RP, Serene Living
PAGE
33
What is Internet/Screen Addiction?
Gaming or watching content on a screen feeds a few possible needs. It can change mood, and gaming
also enables a sense of accomplishment through the mastery of a level or complex problem. Mastery
provides a sense of accomplishment and exists through all forms of competitions or problem-solving
including chess or Sudoku. The challenge with gaming is that there is often a built-in infinite number
of levels to master, and hence those who seek the biological benefits of mastery are presented with a
temptation to continue to pursue mastery.
There is another aspect to gaming which is interesting – with the connection of gaming consoles and
computers over dedicated virtual networks via the Internet, gaming can be social without the confines
of being social in person. You can choose to be a character or avatar, and not necessarily to be yourself

and no one knows who you really are. Furthermore, in this environment there is an absence of social
cues, and this creates a level playing field for everyone socially, as there is no need to understand social
cues (Sussman, 2021). Emojis are specific communication of feeling and thus no one must guess as to the
nature of the feeling. This is advantageous, depending where you are on the spectrum of being able to
read and respond to social cues. Imagine how attractive this might be for highly functioning autistics.
Finally, there is another key component to understanding mastery and addiction, and that is the reward
mechanism. Burrhus Frederic Skinner, an American psychologist, taught us that operant conditioning
(aka learning) is a function of a change in behaviour that is brought about by reinforcement or reward
(Skinner, 1974). Gaming offers a rich framework for continuous achievement of rewards in the form of
points, incremental skills or other assets that your character in the game acquires. An important
condition for rewards to be successful is that they must be variable, meaning that you do not always
need the same effort or achievement to reap the next reward. That creates the continual pursuit of
mastery.
One only needs to look at other, better-understood addictions to see the correlation of patterns of
addiction that also exist in Internet addiction.
Alcohol or General
Substance Abuse
Gambling
Internet Gaming
Mood
X X X
Social Equalizer
X X X
Sense of Mastery X X X
Ratio of Variable
Reinforcement X X X
PAGE
32
Why is Digital Technology Addictive?
In all animals, there is a system of wanting something and then getting that want fulfilled. If I am
hungry I want food and get food. Animals, unlike humans have no higher-order thinking and this
system drives behaviour. In humans, higher-order thinking which occurs in the prefrontal cortex
enables an intervention system that issues a “stop” order or “wait” order. For example, I am hungry and
want food but I know I will be having dinner in an hour so I can choose to wait, as I know that want will
be fulfilled soon. Alternatively, I want that bag of chips, but I am on a diet, so I choose not to eat the bag
of chips. The activity in the prefrontal cortex enables this type of intervention, or to “stop” (Sussman,
2021), by choice.
For something to become addictive, it must provide immediate gratification. In fact, immediacy is more
critical than a higher intensity of gratification. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which acts as a chemical
messenger between cells in the brain and is sometimes referred to as “the feel-good” neurotransmitter.

The reward system of the brain perceives the instant reward and that stimulates the mesocorticolimbic
dopamine system, causing the production and release of dopamine (Dfarhud, Malmir, & Khanahmadi,
2014). The dopamine pathways start in the center of the brain and move towards the outer edges. In any
addictive behaviour a trigger occurs to release dopamine and flood brain cells with this specific
neurotransmitter. When it goes on for many hours at a time the brain tries to regulate dopamine and will
reduce how many dopamine receptors there are to receive the dopamine neurotransmitter in a
process called “down regulation” (Sussman, 2021). The irony that exists is that the more someone pursues
addictive behaviour, the more dopamine receptors are reduced, and hence the less pleasure is felt. The
addictive binging causes less efficiency in the dopamine response to derive pleasure, creating a Reward
Deficiency Syndrome (Sussman, 2021).
Unable to continually reap the same benefit of the dopamine response by doing the continued
behaviours that brought upon the initial benefit of a dopamine rush, anything that previously caused
pleasure no longer does so, because there are fewer dopamine receptors to receive the dopamine that
gets created. As a result, the resultant dopamine withdrawal will cause irritability and other forms of
mood dysregulation.
Hopefully by gaining this baseline understand of the physiology behind addiction, we can better
understand our clients or friends or family members with addiction issues. At some point it does become
a physical addiction, even if it doesn’t start there.

I Saw The Light
By: Antonia Villalba, RP (Q)
Often people who experience chronic pain
focus on the pain, the inability to do the
things they once did or the things they wish
they could do. Most of one’s energy is
usually focused on surviving each day and just
getting through. For some, recovery is about
eliminating the pain, and for others it is about
managing the pain. But what is recovery?
I would like to share my story and how one
day my life changed. I was always that active
child that never stopped. Wanting to jump
and climb any and everything, there was no
limit. My motto was “Nothing is impossible,”
“I can do anything,” and “No one can stop me.”
I lived my life to the fullest and enjoyed every
moment. I was a professional
competitive dancer and a gymnast, which
was my passion. I danced and performed and
that was my life. When I turned 15 years old,
I immigrated to Canada because my parents
relocated. I was faced with many challenges
such as learning a new language, finding new
friends, starting a new school, and
searching for a new job. This was a major
curveball in my life, but I believed there was
nothing impossible and decided to put all my
energy into helping others who face life
challenges. I became a mental health
counsellor and devoted myself to my clients,
until life threw me another curveball…my
accident. It was sudden, unexpected and lifechanging.
My accident happened 11 years ago, and I
suffered a mild traumatic brain injury (TBI)
leaving me with constant neck pain. The neck
pain later travelled to my arms, back and I was
experiencing constant unbearable
headaches that were so debilitating they
prevented me from engaging in much-loved
activities. I stopped exercising, dancing,
jogging, jumping, and so many other things.
I just could not accept that I could no longer
be that person, the one who can do anything.
For 7 years I searched and tried every therapy
available, but nothing helped. The pain was
still there, and I wanted it gone.
One memorable day, I woke up and said to
myself “This will not be my life!” I refuse to let
the pain control my life any longer! I
decided then and there that I will be a
survivor, I decided to accept that my life might
be different, but I will not surrender. I started
exercising again, and even though the pain
increased and most days I would have to go
to sleep right after my workouts, my physical
rehabilitator told me to keep going and trust
that it will get better. I know that the hope
my rehabilitator instilled in me is what kept
me going and after four months of intense
pain I saw the light! I started noticing slight
changes and moments of decreased pain, the
headaches became less frequent, and I finally
believed that I was conquering the pain. This
gave me strength to keep going and I believe
it was the beginning of my
recovery journey.
Recovery is a journey, and each person’s
journey is unique. Hope is what kept me
going, faith is what gave me strength, but
accepting that life is full of curveballs and
how we manage those curveballs is up to us. I
believe there is always a light at the end of the
tunnel. Keep searching for the light, you will
find it.
PAGE
36

Anxiety &
Dental Care
By: Dr. Kal Khaled
Fear of the dentist is incredibly common, with
surveys estimating that it affects 13% to 24% of
people around the world. (1) For many people,
dental anxiety is disturbing but not disabling. But
some are so terrorized at the thought of
going to the dentist that they avoid the experience
altogether–until the reality of an aching tooth or
infection necessitates a visit.
Fear and anxiety toward the dentist and dental
treatment are both significant characteristics that
contribute to the avoidance of dental care. (2)
Anxiety associated with the thought of visiting the
dentist for preventive care and over dental
procedures is referred to as dental anxiety. It has
been cited as the fifth most common cause of
anxiety.
As a practicing dentist who specializes in
anesthesia for dental care, I see hundreds of
patients who fear dentistry. They are usually
children, but more and more we are seeing grown
men and women who fear visiting our office for
dental treatment.
Patients I see who are anxious exhibit many
characteristics: they are often late for
appointments or cancel at the last minute; they
show physical signs such as high heart rate or
sweating; they can be excessively quiet, not
wanting to talk or answer questions. Women often
show emotion by crying and admitting their fears,
whereas men may become non-cooperative and
aggressive in their responses. Rates of anxiety are
two times higher in females. (3)
As dental staff, we try and recognize these fears
early and assist the patients. That may mean
examinations in non-dental rooms, not using
instruments during early visits, x-ray machines that
can take pictures externally, and staff that assist
patients in completing care easily and painlessly.
(4)
Dental anxiety can arise due to multiple factors,
such as previous negative or traumatic experience,
especially in childhood (conditioning experiences),
learning from anxious family members or peers,
individual personality characteristics such as
neuroticism and self-consciousness, lack of
understanding, exposure to frightening portrayals
of dentists in the media, the coping style of the
person, perception of body image, and the
vulnerable position of lying back in a dental chair.
It’s amazing how common these causes are: so
many adults come to see us because of bad
experiences in their childhood. And many others
learn their fears from anxious family members.

The mother who is scared will often pass that
fear on to her kids.
With many people, especially men, the fear
of losing control is prominent. In life, many
men are in control of most of their actions and
choices. They suddenly find themselves in a
position where they feel vulnerable: laying
back and physically exposed to someone
holding sharp instruments over them. This
often evokes a reaction of “fight or flee” as
they associate this position with danger.
Perhaps an incident in the past where they
were vulnerable will pop up and consciously
or subconsciously trigger action.
Anxiety can also be provoked by sensory
triggers such as sights of needles and
air-turbine drills, sounds of drilling, the smell
of chemicals and cut teeth, and also
sensations of high-frequency vibrations in the
dental setting.
When first meeting a patient, a dentist should
have a calm, uninterrupted conversation with
the patient and try to identify which of the
dental situations gives rise to fear and anxiety.
Asking a few open-ended questions can help
guide the conversation in the right direction.
The dentist needs to identify the reason for
the current visit, the kind of experience the
patient has had during previous dental
treatment, the main fears and worries, and
the expectations. Sometimes, the interview
may reveal that that dental anxiety is part of
a wider psychological disorder. In those cases,
it is important that the patient be referred to
experts in the field of psychology, such as a
psychologist or psychiatrist. They can make
the correct psychological diagnosis, and
decide what kind of further treatment the
patient needs. In some cases, the psychologist
and the dentist need to work together, with
the former deciding the treatment plan
concerning anxiety.
PAGE
38
Some common fears giving rise to dental
anxiety are fear of pain, blood-injury fears,
lack of trust or fear of betrayal, fear of being
ridiculed, fear of the unknown, fear of
detached treatment by a dentist or a sense of
depersonalization, fear of mercury poisoning,
fear of radiation exposure, fear of choking
and/or gagging, a sense of helplessness on
the dental chair, and lack of control during
dental treatment. (Summarized as 1) anxious
of specific dental stimuli, 2) distrust of the
dental personnel, 3) generalized dental
anxiety, and 4) anxious of catastrophe)
Many of these fears are unfounded. They grew
out of media exaggeration or inaccurate
internet search results.
Many therapists, like those associated with
this magazine, can assist people in
understanding and overcoming their dental
fears. As stated earlier, this is important
because dental problems can significantly
impair quality of life. With dental pain or
damage, we often cannot eat well, we cannot
smile fully, and we live with constant pain.
Those are the big three categories of dental
problems and each comes with debilitating
consequences.
Not eating well is common in many patients:
I often see men who are missing molars and
cannot chew food well. This leads to further
tooth damage or overall health damage.

Imagine not being able to chew meat or
salad because of dental issues. (5)
Cosmetic concerns are also frequent. Many
individuals choose never to smile because of
dental damage. This means a reduction in
social life and can impair their work
prospects as well. Humans interact through
facial signs and a smile can create rapport
quickly and facilitate a good relationship.
Living with pain is also debilitating. Many of
us have experienced a bad back or injured
knee and know how that hurts us
psychologically, often leading to depression
or bouts of anger.
Along with these modalities, we can
consider psychological counselling. This will
allow the patient to deal with the root
causes of their anxieties. Addressing these
root causes can also reap benefits in other
parts of their lives. Anger and anxiety can be
reduced and our patients become happier
and better adjusted for a lifetime of benefit.
(6)
PAGE
37
So how can we solve these issues? As we
wrote above, a friendly and non-challenging
examination is the first step. The dentist can
assess the psychological needs as well as
dental needs of a patient early. Once that is
done, patients can use devices such as
headphones to limit sounds and provide
mild forms of meditation. Dentists also may
have drugs available that may relax patients:
mild sedative pills or even IV medications
that can relax a patient. Often, we can
complete all the dental work while the
patient is sedated in one appointment.
B y : K a y l a Q u i n n

The Good
Parable
By: Yvonne Rodney
A certain man born to a certain woman by his very
nature stood out from the rest of his peers. This
man was good. He had a very good heart. He
became known in his community for his goodness.
So good was his heart that when the appointed
time had come, a beautiful woman, herself
possessing an even better heart, caught his
attention and it was love at first sight. They had
a good courtship, a good wedding and planned
for a good life. Oh the good they could do - he
with his good heart and she with her better heart.
Together they would be great. So the Greathearts
married and settled in a beautiful house in the
good part of Secular City.
In the fullness of time, the Greathearts gave birth
to two beautiful children who they planned on
working very hard with to bring out the goodness
they knew they had inherited from their parents.
Mrs. Greatheart quit her full-time job of doing
good for the community so that she could focus
on being the best mom for their children. Mr.
Greatheart continued working in his executive
position at the Benevolent Society of Secular City.
The good he wanted to do for his community! He
spent the days working long, hard hours and at
the end of each day, he came home to his even
better wife and the best children in the world. He
would greet them fondly, but was so exhausted
from his good works that he would fall right into
bed and sleep till morning. Then he would get
up, catch a quick bath, and eat a good breakfast,
say goodbye to his good wife and best kids. There
was so much good to do out there.
This pattern continued for many years.
The whole community of Secular City knew of and
loved Mr. Greatheart. What would they do without
him? The Benevolent Society had him promoted
to its top position as CEO of Philanthropic Giving.
Monuments were raised in his name, and awards
and certificates and scholarships bore testament
to his good influence.
When the people of Secular City met Mrs. Greatheart
or the children in the neighborhood, they
would gush, “Oh, your husband/father is such a
good man. You are so lucky. Your home must be a
little piece of heaven on earth.”
More years passed. The children, now 7 and 5,
were starting to ask some good, hard questions.
Questions that Mr. Greatheart kept missing
because he came home so late and was always too
tired from doing good.
One Friday evening, just before sunset, Mr.
Greatheart hurried home. He was so tired that he
couldn’t wait to crawl into the shower and bed.
His good wife would have a hot cup of tea or a
bowl of homemade goodness soup waiting for
him. The note beside the teapot read, “There’s hot
water for your tea in the thermos. Enjoy your tea
and your bath and have a good sleep. You are such
a good man so please be good and understand
dear. This is Goodbye.”
***
Lord, please show us how to do good for humanity
without neglecting the very ones you have entrusted
us to care for within our families. May we learn the
art of true balancing so that we can save our families
as we work with you for the salvation of souls.

Surviving the
Holidays
After the Loss of a Loved One
By: Arpita Parikh, RP (Q)
PAGE
42
The mere thought of the upcoming holidays can be daunting and overwhelming for those grieving the
loss of a loved one. It is not surprising that planning for and attending holiday get-togethers after losing
a loved one can elicit feelings of sadness, loneliness, apprehension, and even dread. Those facing the
holiday season without their loved ones often worry about surviving the festivities and gatherings. The
absence of a loved one can be particularly glaring during the holidays and special cultural celebrations.
Grief is a lifelong process of coping, which can be especially difficult during the holiday season, where
countless triggers lurk behind every corner. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong
way of grieving for those who are grieving and also for those who are not. Being kind and patient with
yourself during this challenging and painful time is crucial.
There is no roadmap for grief, so take your time and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling without
judgement. If possible, surround yourself with supportive friends and family that are sensitive to what
you are feeling. Harvard Women’s Health Watch provides valuable tips for surviving and navigating the
holidays and special cultural celebrations for those wanting to acknowledge them.

• Build on Tradition – light a candle in honour of your loved one, say a prayer, and/or include a
favourite recipe of the loved one on the holiday menu. Change the way you celebrate if it is too
painful. It can still be special without putting undue pressure on yourself.
• Give Back – honour your loved one’s memory by volunteering somewhere that would have been
meaningful to them, and/or buy a gift in their name and donate it to a family in need.
• Share Memories – share pictures and fond memories or stories of your loved one, and encourage
others to do the same. This helps to keep their memory alive in the hearts and heads of family and
friends.
• Engage in Self-Care – ensure that you are getting enough rest and eating properly.
Grief manifests itself differently in every individual. While some find comfort and reassurance in
gathering with friends and family, it may be too challenging and painful for others. Acknowledge your
feelings and be kind to yourself during difficult and challenging moments. If you find yourself smiling or
laughing, try not to feel guilty, you are entitled to feel moments of joy even in grief.
PAGE
43

The Reason You Feel
“SAD” During Winter
By: Ruth Baah-Gyebi, RP
The winter season is rearing up and for some this
may mean a noticeable change in our mood. With
the sun setting early now and the cold weather
taking over, it’s not uncommon to experience a
decrease in motivation and more frequent depressive
episodes during this time.
The month of December shines a light on
Seasonal Affective Disorder, otherwise known as the
acronym, “SAD.” This disorder is a type of
depression that arises during the change in
season. Most people who experience SAD feel their
energy being depleted and lose interest in activities
they once enjoyed. On rare occasion, people may
experience depression caused by SAD during the
spring or early summer months too.
Symptoms of SAD may include:
If you experience severe symptoms of SAD and
do not get treated, it can possibly lead to worse
problems, such as:
• Problems at work or school
• Substance Abuse
• Extreme suicidal thoughts or behaviour
• Other mental health disorders
Light therapy, medication and psychotherapy are
options of treatment you may want to look into if
you’re experiencing symptoms of Seasonal Affective
Disorder. Of course, it is normal to have some days
of feeling down, but if you feel it an overwhelming
amount of times and just can’t get yourself back to
normal, you should highly consider seeing a doctor
or counselling service.
• Feelings of depression as the winter season
progresses
• Low energy
• Lack of sleep or oversleeping
• Losing interest and motivation
• Loss of appetite or weight loss/gain
• Sluggish and anxious feelings
• Suicidal thoughts
The cause of SAD may be due to the reduced level
of sunlight in the fall and winter months, a decrease
in serotonin levels due to the lack of sunlight, and
the body’s level of melatonin becoming disrupted.

Holiday
Navigation
Guides
Enjoy this special holiday guide as you
navigate the season and welcome the
New Year.

PAGE
46

Useful Tips for Families
to Navigate This Unique
Holiday Season
By:
Vanessa Roper-Cunningham, RP(Q)
Tala Barrage, RP(Q)

It has been a long and
challenging year for many of us,
so as we head into the holidays,
many families may be
struggling with questions like:
“How do we celebrate when we
can’t be together?”, “How do we
resolve differences of opinion
about what is safe?”, and “How
do we deal with more
disappointment and frustration
after the long and challenging
year we’ve had — and help our
kids do the same?” The most
important thing to consider
when deciding on how to make
appropriate plans in the current
situation is to do what is best
for YOUR family. So remember
that while things may look
different this year, it is still
possible to enjoy the holidays
and connect with loved ones in
new and unique ways.
The following are some tips on
how to make the best of this
holiday season during the
pandemic while also minimizing
stress and helping everyone in
the family feel as good as
possible about this
extraordinary time.
www.elpizocounselling.com
1

Focus on What You Can Do
It is important to emphasize the traditions and/or rituals that your
family can continue to do together instead of focusing on all the things
that are not possible this year. Have a family discussion about which
traditions are most meaningful to you, and brainstorm ways to
continue those traditions in a new way. If, for example, your extended
family usually gathers together for a meal, you can plan to all prepare
the same meal and meet virtually, so that the family is still connecting
over a meal. The main idea is to find ways to recreate what you would
normally be doing in a way that is safer during the pandemic but still
allows for the creation of special memories.
www.elpizocounselling.com
4

Find the Positives
Many people find the busyness and pressures that usually come
with the holiday season stressful. Take the time to slow down this
year and focus on the parts of the holiday that are most
meaningful to you while staying connected to those you care for
and keeping your family safe.
www.elpizocounselling.com
7

Keep a Record
Even though this holiday season will be different for most people,
keeping a journal, making a scrapbook, or taking photos and videos
to document this year’s experience will allow your family to look back
years from now and remember this very special and unique time.
www.elpizocounselling.com
8

By:
Mary Lepage, RP(Q)
Samantha Campbell, RP(Q)

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