GRAND, Vol IV Ed IV, Winter 21-22

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 

GRAND 

grandmag.ca 

Giving Where 

We Live 

Who’s the Boss? 

The art of reasoning 

Grandparent 

(& Grandkid) 

Getaways 

Cultivating 

Wonder

Your donations help Family Services of Greater Victoria 

provide the following professional programs 

and services to families in the region. 

FAMILY SERVICES 

OF GREATER VICTORIA 

PROGRAMS AND SERVICES 

Caught in the Middle 

Mediation for Couples 

Counselling/Therapy Services 

New Ways for Families ® 

Art/Play Therapy Techniques 

Parent Support & Resources 

Facilitated Parent–Child Connection Separation Resource Services 

In-Person & Telehealth Services 

Support for Grandparents 

Learn more about our services and how to donate 

250-386-4331 www.fsgv.org 

2 GRAND grandmag.ca

Build a 

legacy 

and Help 

Transform lives 

Consider giving a lasting gift to help 

local families build a strong foundation 

for a brighter future. 

For more information, contact 

giving@habitatvictoria.com 

250.480.7688 ext.103 

habitatvictoria.com 

grandmag.ca 

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 3

Just Kidding 

Tickets & info are available 

online at: www.theatreone.ca 

Just Kidding for Kids is a three-show series for young children introducing them 

to the magic of theatre, providing parents, grandparents, and other caregivers 

an entertaining, often educational alternative for family entertainment. 

RAIN CITY IMPROV 

JAN. 29, 2022 | 1:00 PM 

MALASPINA THEATRE 

Fast-paced, hilarious, and highly interactive! 

Every show features fun, inclusive improv 

scenes using willing volunteers and a 

variety of diverse audience suggestions. 

PENNY POM POM 

APR. 9, 2022 | 1:00 PM 


This show for young children is colourful, 

musical and interactive and focuses on the 

importance of creativity and selfempowerment. 

A BIRDY TOLD ME SO - 

KELLY HAINES 

MAY 28, 2022 | 1:00 PM 


Ventriloquist, puppeteer, and family 

entertainer Kellie Haines combines witty 

repartee with living and breathing puppet 

characters everyone can relate to! 

Questions: | office@theatreone.ca | 250-754-7587 


CONTENTS 

6 

8 

10 

12 

14 

16 

18 

20 

22 

24 

7 Grand: Ideas + Inspiration 

Cultivating Wonder 

The importance of passing along 

the ability to feel wonder in the 

face of life’s beauty. 

RACHEL DUNSTAN MULLER 

Giving Where We Live 

What to know about community 

foundations and leaving a legacy. 

SALT SPRING ISLAND FOUNDATION 

Savour, Don’t Save 

How to live a life of no regrets. 

JACQUI GRAHAM 

Grandparent (& Grandkid) 

Getaways 

Hit the road and check out some 

of the many family-friendly Island 

destinations. 

10 Mental Health Tips 

How to start the New Year in 

the right state of mind. 

DR. TYLER R. BLACK 

Choosing Books for 

Children & Teens 

What to look for when considering 

storybooks and the age-appropriate 

genres the young readers in your life. 

THE CANADIAN CHILDREN’S BOOK CENTRE 

An Apple a Day 

Three recipes to make and share 

with your grandchildren. 

EMILLIE PARRISH 

Lessons Learned 

from Homeschooling 

The upside of high expectations. 

TIM COLLINS 


Teaching our grandchildren 

about accountability. 

SUSAN GNUCCI 

Stupid Things I Won’t 

Do When I Get Old 

Not only is that the title of a new 

book by Steven Petrow and Roseann 

Foley Henry, but it is also a 

way to take inventory of life so far and 

a road map of how to best approach 

what’s left. 

A self-proclaimed “highly judgmental, 

unapologetically honest accounting 

of all the things our elders are 

doing wrong”—from double spacing 

after a period to blathering on about 

our aches and pains, making us part 

of what Petrow calls the “organ recital”—Stupid 

Things I Won’t Do When I 

Get Old provides a practical list of the 

do’s and don’ts of aging. 

Don’t hoard. Do let your hair go 

gray. Don’t bore relatives, or complete 

strangers, with tales of aches and 

pains. Do ask for help when you need 

it—so reading glasses when your vision 

starts to fail. Don’t drive until 

long after you’ve become a danger to 

others. Do make friends with people 

younger—and older—than you. Don’t 

eat dinner at 4pm. Don’t avoid looking 

at yourself naked in the mirror. 

And don’t fall prey to “everyday 

ageism”—including everything from 

dismissive quips about not being able 

to use a smart phone properly to jokes 

about losing memories or hearing. 

“This reinforces the stereotype 

that old is bad and young is good,” 

says Petrow. “According to the World 

Health Organization, older adults who 

hold negative views about their own 

aging live, on average, 7.5 years less 

than people with positive views.” 

That means, ageism is as harmful to 

our health as smoking, he adds. 

Getting older is a privilege. Live 

each day with that in mind. 

As Gabriel García Márquez once 

wrote: “It is not true that people stop 

pursuing dreams because they grow 

old; they grow old because they stop 

pursuing dreams.” 

ON THE COVER 

Layla B (1) & 

Jacqueline Neligan 

Photo by 

Ashley Marston 

ashleymarstonbirth 

photography.com 

instagram.com/ 

ashleymarstonphotography 

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 

GRAND 

grandmag.ca 

Giving Where 

We Live 


The art of reasoning 

Grandparent 

(& Grandkid) 

Getaways 

Cultivating 

Wonder 

Jim Schneider Publisher 

publisher@islandparent.ca 

Sue Fast Editor 

editor@islandparent.ca 

Kristine Wickheim Account Manager 

kristine@islandparent.ca 

RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager 

raeleigh@islandparent.ca 

GRAND, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a digital 

publication that honours and supports grandparents by providing 

information on resources and businesses for families and a forum 

for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Views expressed are not 

necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be 

reproduced without the permission of the publisher. 

518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 

250-388-6905 grandmag.ca 

A proud member of 

BC 

grandmag.ca 


Ideas + Inspiration 

7Grand 

Queer at Sea: 

Tales from the 

2SLGBTQ+ Community 

This new exhibit at the Maritime 

Museum of BC opens on 

May 17, 2022 and runs through 

the the summer. Queer and 

trans communities have long 

been a part of BC’s maritime 

history and culture. This exhibit 

will showcase those histories 

and culture, celebrate the 

roles and contributions queer 

and trans people have made 

to BC’s maritime sectors, and 

will acknowledge work that 

remains to eliminate discrimination 

against the 2SLGBTQ+ 

community in the marine sectors. 

The Museum is seeking 

input from queer and trans 

individuals who are willing to 

voluntarily share their stories 

for use in the exhibit. The 

deadline for sharing your story 

is March 4. To share your story, 

complete the online form at 

mmbc.bc.ca. 

P is for 

100 Percent 

One hundred percent of royalties 

from P Is for Puffin will be 

donated to Wildlife Conservation 

Network (WCN) to protect 

the endangered species 

that inspired this book. WCN 

protects endangered wildlife 

by supporting conservationists 

who ensure wildlife and 

people coexist and thrive. 

WCN finds conservationists 

who deploy the most effective 

solutions to save wildlife 

and their habitats and provides 

them with financial and 

technical resources to bring 

those solutions to life. Wildlife 

Conservation Network sends 

100 percent of designated donations 

directly to the field to 

ensure maximum impact. 

wildnet.org. 

Commemorative 

Terry Fox Sash 

Métis Nation British Columbia 

(MNBC) and the Fox Family 

have partnered to create a 

limited-edition commemorative 

Terry Fox Sash. The sash, 

available online, is now available 

for order. The product 

will ship in mid-December. 

All proceeds of the sash will 

go directly to the Terry Fox 

Foundation. A sash with a 

commemorative patch of Terry 

will also be available from 

the Terry Fox Foundation. 

shop.terryfox.org and metisnation-british-columbia. 

myshopify.com. 


Transportation 

Solutions 

A Shift In 

Thinking 

Infant & Child 

First Aid 

John Lithgow on 

Storyline Online 

F.A.S.T. Track, a Funding Accelerator 

for Seniors Transportation, 

arose out of a need 

to create forward-thinking 

transportation solutions for 

older Canadians Transportation 

providers of all types, 

sizes and systems, and those 

who provide various supports 

to seniors transportation in 

Canada, are invited to build 

their community profile at 

fasttrackcanada.org. Respondents 

will answer questions 

about the current services 

that are available in their 

community and will be asked 

to identify what gaps and 

barriers exist. Submissions 

are currently being accepted 

online at fasttrackcanada.org. 

The deadline for applications is 

January 21, 2022. 

Creatively United’s founder, 

Frances Litman, has been 

chosen as one of 12 finalists 

selected to speak Saturday, 

February 19 between 1 and 5 

pm at TEDxSurrey at the 1,000+ 

seat Bell Performing Arts 

Centre in Surrey, BC. TEDxSurrey 

is widely recognized as 

the premier TEDx event in 

Western Canada. The theme 

for TEDxSurrey 2022 is A Shift 

in Thinking. For speaker and 

ticket information, please visit 

tedxsurrey.ca. 

This course consists of an 

online, self-paced module (approximately 

1 hour), followed 

by an in-class practical skills 

component (2 hours), and will 

prepare you to recognize and 

treat infant illnesses and injuries, 

including mild and severe 

choking, infant CPR, childhood 

fevers, infant seizures, poisoning, 

allergic reactions and 

injury/illness prevention. 

The in-class portion will be 

led by a certified instructor 

from Alert First-Aid and will 

provide you with a chance to 

practice these skills and ask 

questions. $100 for two people. 

For dates and times, visit 

motheringtouch.ca. 

Hear John Lithgow read his 

ninth children’s book, Never 

Play Music Right Next to the 

Zoo, for Storyline Online ® , the 

beloved children’s literacy 

program. Lithgow takes his 

audience to an outdoor classical 

music concert that’s just a 

hop skip and a trot away from 

a local zoo, and when the animal 

residents get an earful of 

song, anything can, and does, 

happen! An Emmy-nominated 

program of the non-profit SAG- 

AFTRA Foundation, Storyline 

Online streams 65 videos at 

no cost to children, parents 

and educators worldwide. 

For more information, 

visit storylineonline.net. 

grandmag.ca 


GRANDparenting 

Cultivating Wonder 

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense 

of wonder, he needs the companionship of 

at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering 

with him the joy, excitement, and 

mystery of the world we live in...If I had 

influence with the good fairy who is supposed 

to preside over the christening of all 

children, I should ask that her gift to each 

child in the world be a sense of wonder so 

indestructible that it would last throughout 

life. 

– Rachel Carson, American biologist 

It was the perfect autumn morning for 

a forest stroll, with crisp leaves underfoot 

and an electric blue sky above 

our heads. While the walk itself was 

pleasurable, my grandchildren, their 

parents, and their grandfather and I 

were on a mission: to see the salmon 

spawning in our local stream. 

The water was running high after 

several days of torrential rain, and the 

fish proved elusive at first. But one by 

one we began to spot them. They were 

an impressive sight, muscling their 

way against the current. I couldn’t help 

but feel a touch of awe as I watched 

them fighting their way upstream, 

wild creatures playing their part in a 

cycle that stretches back for millions of 

years. 

If I pass on anything to my grandchildren, 

I hope it’s this: the ability to 

feel wonder in the face of life’s beauty. 

For wonder in turn brings all kinds of 

good things. It stimulates curiosity and 

creativity. It inspires gratitude, reverence, 

and a sense that we are part of 

something much vaster than ourselves. 

And did my grandchildren—ages 3, 

4 and 6—feel some measure of wonder 

as they stood beside me at the water’s 

edge? I don’t know; I didn’t ask. Wonder 

isn’t something that can be taught 

or measured like memorizing the 

alphabet. In fact to pressure a child to 

feel wonder would be the surest way 

to send it fleeing. Wonder is itself like 

a wild salmon. We know when and 

where we’re most likely to find it, but 

there’s no guarantee it will show up. 

We can only pay attention and be grateful 

when it does appear. 

Children have a natural capacity for 

wonder. The world is still new after all, 

and so they see everything with fresh 

and inquisitive eyes. But given the 

screens and other distractions that increasingly 

compete for their attention, 

we as the adults who love them need 

to be intentional in the experiences we 

provide our youngest generation. 

Here on Vancouver Island, we 

are spoiled for natural wonders: the 

salmon spawning in our rivers, the sea 


lions barking in our bays, the eagles 

soaring above our estuaries – even 

whales swimming off our coast. And 

if the wildlife doesn’t show up, there’s 

always the scenery to fall back on, from 

the hidden treasures of Horne Lake 

Caves, to the spectacular geological 

formations of Port Renfrew’s Botanical 

Beach, to the big waves of Tofino or the 

ancient trees of Avatar Grove. 

While it’s still many months away, 

glowing phytoplankton on a moonless 

summer night is one Island wonder I 

will be actively pursuing. When tiny 

marine algae called dinoflagellates are 

present near the surface of the water, 

any agitation (a kayak paddle, swirling 

stick or thrown pebble) will make them 

sparkle and glow. It’s well worth staying 

up late for this magical experience, 

and finding a dark bay away from the 

light pollution of urban development. 

And if it happens to be mid-August and 

you’re already up, you might also want 

to position yourself and your grandchildren 

to watch the Perseid Meteor 

Shower. 

In my experience, wonder shows up 

most reliably in moments of attention 

and stillness. While I challenge anyone 

not to fill at least a stirring of awe under 

a clear night sky filled with “falling 

stars,” or beside a 1,000 year-old Cedar 

tree with a circumference of 11 metres, 

size and scale aren’t essential when 

courting wonder. Small things can be 

just as effective, especially for young 

children: hermit crabs or anemones 

in a tidal pool; dragonflies skimming 

over the surface of a pond; toes dipped 

in a shallow stream; the first salmon, 

or thimble, or huckleberry of the season; 

the first snowflake caught on the 

tongue. 

As much as I’m personally drawn to 

the natural world, it’s far from the only 

source of wonder, of course. Any beautiful 

or moving experience can inspire 

it, from a striking artwork, to a stirring 

piece of music, to the tug of a kitestring 

as a colourful kite dips and soars 

overhead. What matters most is that we 

are ready and receptive to experience 

the gift being offered, that fragile moment 

when the universe cracks open 

just wide enough to give us a glimpse of 

something shining. 

Attitude is everything when it comes 

to cultivating wonder. We can help our 

grandchildren by modeling our own 

attentiveness and delight when we see 

or hear or feel something that moves us 

deeply. Our own awe serves as a signal 

that there’s something worth paying 

attention to. It gives our grandkids 

permission to feel and express deep 

emotion as well, as they discover and 

explore the world. 

What moves our grandchildren may 

turn out to be very different from what 

moves us. And that’s a wonder in itself—how 

unique each one of us is. I 

for one can’t wait to learn each of my 

grandchildren’s “wonder” languages. 

Rachel Dunstan Muller is a children’s author, 

storyteller, podcaster and grandmother. 

You can find her two podcasts Hintertales: 

Stories from the Margins of History and 

Sticks and Stones and Stories through her 

website at racheldunstanmuller.com, or 

wherever you normally get your podcasts. 

grandmag.ca 


Money & 

Finances 

Giving Where We Live 

Community foundations and your legacy 

Most of us don’t approach the task 

of preparing a will with great 

enthusiasm, but instead with 

the sober realization that we are taking 

steps to make life easier for our 

loved ones after we are gone. As we 

engage in estate planning, we consider 

many factors—personal, legal and 

financial—in order to ensure that the 

transfer of assets will proceed according 

to our wishes and with minimal 

complications. 

A will can also be a powerful instrument 

that allows us to support 

and preserve the ideals, causes and 

charities that are important to us. According 

to Will Power, an education 

campaign designed to inspire and 

empower Canadians to leave a bequest 

to charity, only 5 per cent of us do so. 

Yet, imagine what our favourite charities 

could accomplish if more Canadians 

left them a small bequest. And it’s 

not only charities that benefit; charitable 

gifts made in a will can reduce 

the amount of taxes levied against 

your estate. 

If you are considering leaving a 

charitable bequest, it’s well worth 

having a closer look at your local community 

foundation. More than 90 

per cent of Canadians are served by a 

community foundation, with a national 

total of 191, and British Columbia 

leads the country with 49. 

Community foundations are charitable, 

non-profit organizations that 

serve geographically defined communities, 

building endowment funds 

in order to give grants to projects that 

improve the local quality of life. Community 

foundations are governed by 

local boards and generally supported 

by donations pooled from within the 

community. They vary greatly in size 

and scope, from the Vancouver Foundation, 

which makes a huge impact 

province-wide, to foundations operating 

on a much smaller scale, offering 

targeted grants that build healthier 

and more livable communities. 

“All community foundations are 

true examples of neighbours helping 

neighbours,” says Kate Merry, Salt 

Spring Island Foundation board member 

and chair of the Donor Relations 

Committee. “Many rely on volunteers 

to do much of their work, which 

means that they maintain strong 

grassroots connections to their communities.” 


Endowment funds allow community 

foundations to assist with long-term 

needs, such as mental health support, 

affordable housing, food security and 

community infrastructure, as well 

as projects in many other areas. But 

community foundations also support 

funds that meet immediate needs, 

which has been critically important 

to the survival of charities during the 

COVID-19 pandemic. With deep community 

connections, they partner 

with donors and other local organizations 

to encourage community action, 

stimulate new ideas, build participation 

and strengthen philanthropy. 

Community foundations offer personal 

and flexible service, helping donors 

to meet their goals while offering 

tax advantages. If you choose to leave 

a legacy to a community foundation, 

you can specify that it be pooled with 

other gifts in a permanent endowment 

fund or spent within a shorter period 

of time. 

Grants given by community foundations 

generally assist a wide range of 

initiatives, but there are also field of 

interest funds that address specific 

areas—children and youth, arts and 

culture, the environment and mental 

health, to name just a few. Depending 

on the amount of your bequest, 

you may be able to designate a field of 

interest fund or even a specific charity 

as a recipient. Alternatively, you 

can allow the community foundation 

to choose where your funds can best 

meet a pressing community need. 

Kate Merry offers a few tips for 

those considering a legacy to a community 

foundation: 

• Meet with representatives of your 

community foundation to learn more 

about their work and to ensure that 

gifts are structured in the best possible 

way to fulfil your wishes. Each 

community foundation has its own 

policies and guidelines. Community 

foundations will also provide sample 

clauses for your will to use in consultation 

with your advisors. 

• Discuss your plans with your financial 

and legal advisors to ensure 

that you will benefit from maximum 

tax advantages. This could include the 

option of naming a charity as a beneficiary 

of your RRSP, RRIF or TFSA. 

• Discuss your plans with your family. 

This will make your future wishes 

clear and more likely to be implemented 

without challenge, and it involves 

your partner, children, grandchildren 

or other beneficiaries in your philanthropic 

goals. 

The COVID-19 pandemic has reinforced 

the importance of a healthy 

and caring community. We all benefit 

from strong and resilient local infrastructure 

and charities that assist 

BEST BABY GIFT 

with medical, social, environmental 

and food security needs. Many of us 

now work where we live. Community 

foundations offer the opportunity to 

give where we live and to leave an enduring 

legacy for future generations. 

To find your local community foundation 

to speak to about your legacy, 

visit communityfoundations.ca/ 

find-a-community-foundation. 

The Salt Spring Island Foundation is 

trusted agent of philanthropy that has 

built an endowment fund through the 

generosity of their supporters, who are 

rewarded by the knowledge that their 

contributions are well invested through 

long-term financial growth and by the 

lasting benefits their grants deliver 

throughout Salt Spring Island. 

GROWTH-SPURT FRIENDLY 

CLOTHING FOR BABIES & KIDS 

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BECAUSE BABIES GROW 

grandmag.ca 



Savour, Don’t Save 

Jacqui Graham has six grown kids and 

eight delightful grandkids. If she had 

known how much fun grandkids would 

be, she would have had them first! 

Author Erma Bombeck wrote 

humorous and insightful essays 

about family life. One has particular 

meaning for me. In it, looking 

back on her life, she recalls with regret 

a pretty candle, never lit, that melted 

in storage, and a set of china carefully 

packed away. 

“If I could live my life over again,” 

she says, “I would have used those 

pretty dishes—and not only on special 

occasions but every day.” 

My mother was a proponent of the 

“save rather than savour” approach 

to life. When she passed away she left 

behind a sideboard full of gold-rimmed 

china dishes that had never been used, 

silver cutlery that never graced a table, 

and delicate lace tablecloths that never 

replaced the worn, torn, Scotch-taped 

dime-store plastic table cover. 

From closets and cupboards and 

shelves my dad and I unearthed boxes 

of gifts bought but never sent; piles of 

books unread; bins of fabric and unopened 

patterns she meant to sew for 

the grandkids; cookbooks with pristine 

pages. 

We found a shoebox containing several 

dozen “happy birthday” cards she 

purchased over the years to send to 

her 11 grandchildren. Sadly, they never 

made it to the mailbox. Nor did she 

ever “get around” to phoning the kids. 

One day a young son asked me “Why 

does Grandma hate us?” 

Shocked, I said “Grandma doesn’t 

hate you, sweetheart, she loves you 

very much.” 

“Then why doesn’t she ever call or 

visit us?” he replied. My heart ached 

as I explained that Grandma lived far 

away, was very busy, and was sure to 

call soon. How could I explain to him 

that Grandma was just bogged down in 

a morass of inertia? 

My mother’s life was an endless 

bucket list of things she didn’t get 

around to: vacations to exotic locales 

planned but never realized; art classes 

embarked upon but abandoned; family 

genealogy questioned but never 

researched; and - saddest of all - a 

cobweb-draped motorcycle in the garage. 

Her past was littered with plans 

aborted, opportunities missed, dreams 


unfulfilled. “I was gonna....” was her 

constant mantra. My dad joked that her 

epitaph should read “She was gonna.” 

From an early age I was determined 

that my path would be different. I 

would seize the day! At age 19 I ran 

away with the love of my life. Our wedding 

registry list included an axe and a 

Coleman stove. (Some people ignored 

the list and gave us frivolous items 

such as china, crystal glasses and silver 

cutlery. We thanked them anyway.) 

Our honeymoon took place in a tent on 

Long Beach, Vancouver Island. Over 

the years we had many adventures: 

visiting New York City in the company 

of a 19-month-old baby and an elderly, 

diminutive East Indian holy man in 

orange robes (don’t ask); selling our 

first home to finance the purchase of a 

small town newspaper; raising six kids 

in that small town; taking our brood 

abroad to New Zealand, Scotland and 

Europe; and, upon retirement, leaving 

that small town after what my husband 

called “40 years in the wilderness” to 

start over in the Comox Valley. 

It was while packing for this 

move that I realized just how much 

stuff I had accumulated in those 40 

years! Shelves of books unread; bins 

of fabric and patterns never sewn; 

cookbooks with pristine pages. An idle 

sewing machine. A piano coated with 

dust. Notebooks crammed with songs 

written but unsung. And, yes—birthday 

cards in a shoebox! And I realized 

just how often I am guilty of saying “I 

was gonna...” 

Well, no more. As I reluctantly enter 

a new chapter of life called “widowhood,” 

I have the opportunity to turn 

“I was gonna” into “Look, Ma! No regrets!” 

Shake off the cobwebs! Burn the 

pretty candle! Break out the crystal, the 

silver, the lace! Love those grandkids! 

Send those cards! Dust off that piano! 

Record those songs! Plan that trip to 

Tahiti! Life is to be savoured, not saved. 

I want my epitaph to read “Beloved 

wife, mother, grandmother. She shared 

her strengths, her talents, her love. She 

savoured life. She truly did it all.” 

Flush only the 3Ps: 

pee, poo and toilet paper. 

flexibility 

for 

different 

learning 

styles 

optional 

hands-on 

learning 

activities 

support 

from a 

certified 

teacher 

gentle and 

constructive 

feedback 

grandmag.ca 


Road Trip 

Grandparent 

(& Grandkid) 

Getaways 

Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean you can’t hit the road and take a trip 

to one of the many family-friendly Island destinations. So pack up your day 

bag—or plan for an overnighter—and check out the following places to go. 

See Sidney by the Sea 

1. Shaw Centre for the Salish Sea. 

This world-class aquarium and learning 

centre is the largest aquarium 

on Vancouver Island—and the only 

aquarium in Greater Victoria. Print 

the online scavenger hunt and activity 

sheets and then bring them with you 

when you visit the Centre. 

salishseacentre.org 

2. Sidney Museum. Check out the 

Lego Expo, on until May 2021. Dozens 

of Star Wars-themed Lego models 

provide a special focus for this exhibit, 

rounded out by hundreds of other 

Lego models including Hogwarts Castle 

and Lego model of the Bugatti Chiron 

automobile. sidneymuseum.ca 

3. Glass Beach. At the foot of Beacon 

Avenue, turn right and walk past the 

first set of stairs to the second and 

there you have it, Glass Beach! Bring a 

bucket and plan on spending an hour 

or so digging through the sand to find 

all sorts of glass and pottery pieces. 

2. The Raptors. Get closer than 

you ever imagined to these exciting, 

intelligent birds of prey and learn 

about their world and how we all 

benefit when they survive and thrive. 

Experience a hands-on experience, 

and witness these amazing birds of 

prey as they demonstrate their flying 

skills and fascinating personalities. 

pnwraptors.com 

3. Malahat Skywalk. The views 

from the lookout—250m above sea 

level—are spectacular. See Mt. Baker, 

Finlayson Arm, the Saanich Peninsula, 

and islands in two countries. Explore 

the West Coast from a whole new perspective 

and then choose your descent 

with a return walk down the ramp or 

take the fast route on our Spiral Slide. 

malahatskywalk.com 

Count on Cowichan 

1. Murals of Chemainus. Follow the 

yellow footsteps to discover more than 

Don’t Forget About Duncan 

(and what’s close by) 

1. Hand of Man Museum of Natural 

History, Cultural Arts and Conservation. 

Experience culture and beliefs 

of ancient civilizations that have 

survived millenia. Learn about global 

efforts towards conservation through 

education and awareness. 

handofmanmuseum.com 


54 murals and nine sculptures depicting 

Chemainus’ colourful past. There 

are 44 murals in Historical Series, five 

in the Emily Carr-inspired Series and 

six art pieces in the Community Mural 

Series. Play the piano in the new 

mural In Tune With Nature and take 

a stroll through the Chemainus Labyrinth. 

art-bc.com 

2. Cowichan Bay. How can you 

go wrong with an old-fashioned ice 

cream and retro candy shop? You 

can’t! Stop by the Udder Guy’s Ice 

Cream shop and reminisce about all of 

the nostalgic sweets you enjoyed when 

you were your grandkid’s age then 

stroll the seaside walk to see what you 

can see. originaludderguys.com 

3. BC Forest Discovery Centre. 100 

acres of discovery, education and 

fun. Ride the rails and check out the 

exhibits. Forest Forever is the newest 

exhibit and tells the story of modern 

forestry innovation in B.C. Ride one of 

the historic trains over the Somenos 

Lake Trestle and enjoy views of the 

100-acre museum from the train. 

bcforestdiscoverycentre.com 

Come as You Are to 

Comox-Campbell River 

1. Courtenay and District Museum & 

Palaeontology Centre. Dig for dinosaur 

fossils and check out a cast of B.C.’s 

first recorded Elasmosaur. If you have 

time, sign up for a fossil tour— Tuesdays 

to Saturday at 9am—beginning at 

the Centre’s exhibit and then winding 

its way to the banks of the Puntledge 

River. courtenaymuseum.ca 

2. Elk Falls Suspension Bridge. A 

thundering waterfall and some of the 

finest year-round salmon fishing in 

Canada are just two of the reasons 

Elk Falls is one of the most popular 

provincial parks on Vancouver Island. 

Explore the extensive networks of 

forest trails and the nearby Quinsam 

Salmon. campbellriver.travel/ 

attractions/elkfalls 

3. Mt. Washington. First time at Mt. 

Washington? Take a Snow Tour and 

leave your cares and the trail maps 

behind. Snow Hosts will show you the 

best ski and snowboarding spots on 

Mt. Washington with a complimentary 

tour. 9:30am and 1pm. 

mountwashington.ca 

Play Around in Port Alberni 

1. The Donut Shop. Hungry? Try 

one of “The best donuts on Vancouver 

Island.” Located on Harbour Quay in 

Port Alberni, the Donut Shop offers 

a tempting array of designer donuts. 

And as grandparents, isn’t it our duty 

to spoil our grandkids every once in a 

while?! facebook.com/PAdonutshop 

2. McLean Mill Historic Park. 

McLean Mill is the perfect placed for 

a stroll any time of year. Whether it’s 

to take in the history or to go for scenic 

walk with your grandkids or fury 

baby, you won’t be disappointed. The 

surroundings are breathtaking. Grab 

the family, bring a picnic and make it 

a day at the Mill. The site is open for 

self-guided tours at all times, maps are 

available at the Mill Store. 

mcleanmill.ca 

3. Coombs Country Market. The Old 

Country Market started as a roadside 

fruit stand providing fresh produce 

to travellers heading to the west coast 

of Vancouver Island. Over the years 

it has evolved into a landmark of 

Coombs, with a mixture of shops and 

eateries for locals and visitors alike. 

Oh yeah, and there are goats… on the 

roof! oldcountrymarket.com 

grandmag.ca 


Mind 

10 Mental Health Tips 

Start the New Year in the right 

state of mind. Here from Dr. 

Tyler R. Black, Medical Director 

of Emergency Psychiatry at BC Children’s 

Hospital are the top 10 health 

tips to help grandparents help their 

grandchildren navigate the “new normal.” 

Connectedness matters more 

than the medium 

While traditions, travel, and gatherings 

have changed, connections are 

connections. Communication like video 

calls, online games together, phone 

calls, cards and letters, are great ways 

to keep the connectedness of families 

going strong. For kids, online connection 

IS real life connection. Take 

advantage of this! 

Listen without judgment 

A struggling child doesn’t need to 

be told what to do. A struggling child 

needs to be understood, needs to understand 

that they are cared for, and 

it is always better when they are part 

of the planning to help with the problem. 

Many grandparents dive into “oh 

are you sad? you should exercise!” 

and might not understand that a body 

problem or an insecurity makes that 

advice painful rather than helpful. Try 

this approach: “Thanks for sharing, is 

there anything you can think of that I 

could do to help with that?” 

Remember “the antenna 

problem” 

Kids are amazing antennas—they 

pick up on so many emotions, ideas, 

and challenges. However, they are 

horrible receivers. They will frequently 

misinterpret the meaning, overamplify 

the seriousness of a problem, 

or just completely get it wrong. When 

you are feeling something, your child 

is feeling you feel it! Don’t “hide” 

your emotions or pretend that it’s not 

real—you can be transparent, vulnerable 

and reassuring all at the same 

time. 

This is a great learning moment 

for taking care of each other 

Remind children that the reason 

things are hard right now is so that 

other people can be safer—people 

you and your child care about. Teachers. 

Parents. Grandparents. Aunts. 

Doctors. The awesome people at the 

supermarket. Children understand 

the importance of helping others. The 

marginalized, racialized and underprivileged 

bear the worst of this pandemic—what 

a great time to model 

and teach charitable work and efforts. 


School is important, but it’s 

not THAT important 

If a day is particularly overwhelming, 

it’s ok to have a “sick day” to 

recover mentally. Consider this your 

doctor’s note. The pretense we put on 

that “perfect attendance” neglects the 

fact that we all, at some point, have 

taken a sick day to recover when we 

weren’t up to going in. Worldwide 

soul-crushing pandemics count too. 

Let’s focus on connection, play, kidstuff, 

mental health and the basics of 

education. 

Traditions are new to them! 

Yes, your family tradition may be 

disrupted, and you’ve had decades 

worth, but new traditions can be 

started! Kids have an incredible ability 

to adapt to “normal” and you can harness 

this if you don’t sound bummed 

or disrupted by it. 

Keep an eye on irritability, 

sleep and appetite 

Young kids are notorious for not 

recognizing the signs of extreme 

stress, but their body tells the score. A 

change in sleep, appetite and general 

irritability are signs of distress and 

should be taken seriously. At a calm 

moment, explore what’s happening. 

Don’t discard technology 

Yes, there is a stigma about kids and 

technology use. However, that stigma 

is not borne out by evidence. The best 

evidence tells us that technology use 

is a healthy part of a child’s life and 

does not cause serious harm or mental 

illness. While some kids can overuse, 

rarely is the technology itself the 

problem. During this time of limited 

connection, getting in the way of online 

friend groups, online play, social 

media sharing and entertainment may 

not be the protector you think it is. It’s 

great to make sure kids have access to 

more than just tech (exercise, crafts, 

chores, etc), but carving tech out of a 

2021 kid’s life is putting them at a big 

disadvantage going forward. 

Take care of yourself 

It’s so hard to read this if you’re in 

an overwhelmed position. It might 

mean asking someone for help. But 

taking care of yourself and your mental 

health is NOT optional. It may be 

time to take a quick inventory on your 

stressors, your help available and who 

your network is, and start working to 

make some changes. If you aren’t in a 

position to trim anything, I know this 

rings hollow, but friends and family 

are a great place to start. If you are in 

a position of privilege or space, use it 

to help others. As a physician, I will 

ironically say to myself “physician, 

heal thyself.” For you, grandparent, I 

shall say “grandparent, give caregiving 

to yourself.” 

Pick your battles 

If you are overwhelmed, if your 

grandchild is stressed and they want 

to stay up a few more minutes, finish 

a show or keep using the iPad, give 

yourself a break. We all know the 

“perfect” grandparent response and 

the, “I need to get through this moment” 

grandparent response. Sometimes 

the “perfect” response is not the 

best one to choose. You need to have 

the capacity and reserve to deal with 

the fallout of a trivial intervention. 

Take a quick moment and decide if 

you can pick the best response for you, 

and don’t worry about trying to be the 

“perfect parent.” 

Dr. Tyler R. Black, MD, FRCPC, is a 

Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and 

Suicidologist who has been in clinical 

practice for over 12 years. For 10 years, 

he was the Medical Director of Emergency 

Psychiatry at BC Children’s 

Hospital. Twitter: @tylerblack32, 

tylerblack.com. 

grandmag.ca 


Mind 

Choosing Books for 

Children & Teens 

When faced with the sea of 

possibilities in choosing children’s 

books, there are a few 

basics you should consider to help you 

evaluate the quality and suitability 

of a book. Here from the Canadian 

readers alike will find these books appealing. 

Comic books are essentially 

longer versions of the short strips you 

tend to find in newspapers, and graphic 

novels are more complex, booklength 

comic books. The illustrations 

found in these books are intricate 

and encourage children and young 

adults to appreciate the melding of 

language and visual art. Comic books 

and graphic novels cover a variety 

of genres, including autobiography, 

biography, historical fiction, humour, 

fantasy, non-fiction and superhero. 

The Canadian Children’s Book Centre 

(CCBC) is a national, not-for-profit 

organization dedicated to encouraging, 

promoting and supporting the reading, 

writing, illustrating and publishing of 

Canadian books for young readers. 

Visit bookcentre.ca. 

Children’s Book Centre are some of 

the things to look for when considering 

storybooks and the genres that are 

appropriate for the young readers in 

your life. 

Comic Books & Graphic Novels 

Because comic books and graphic 

novels tell stories using words and 

pictures, both avid and reluctant 

Books for Reluctant Readers 

Encourage the reluctant readers in 

your life to read wherever and whenever 

they can. In addition to a steady 

diet of good books, comics, newspapers, 

magazines and reviews of movies 

on the Internet are all great ways 

to get even the most reluctant reader 

interested in reading! 

Historical Fiction 

Historical fiction lets children imagine 

what it was like to live in the past, 

in Canada or anywhere in the world. 

It gives them the opportunity to ask 

questions about history and dig for 

more information. It also provides 

children with a more personal understanding 

of different time periods and 

the world’s significant events. Whether 

a child wants to learn about World 

War I, the Middle Ages or the Great 

Depression, historical fiction can be 

the perfect time machine. 

Information Books 

We often think of information books 

(also known as non-fiction books) as 

the perfect books for a school research 


project—and they are! But they also 

cover every topic from current events 

to sports to cooking! Good information 

books make factual information exciting 

and interesting. Vivid biographies 

or true tales of adventure can fire the 

imagination as powerfully as a good 

novel. Factual books can entertain 

and inspire, move readers to tears and 

laughter—and teach along the way. 

Things-to-Do Books 

Rainy days, quiet weekends and lazy 

afternoons don’t have to be boring— 

especially when there are things-to-do 

books for kids! A variety of craft and 

hobby books exist for children of all 

ages and can teach them how to make 

jewellery, draw cartoons, cook healthy 

snacks, and more! These books are fun 

to read and introduce children to new 

hobbies, activities and experiences. 

Some things-to-do books provide 

step-by-step instructions for exciting 

activities that can be done with items 

found around the house, while others 

require special materials that need to 

be purchased beforehand. There are 

even things-to-do books that already 

come with all the materials needed to 

carry out the projects. 

Poetry 

From extolling the virtues of pizza 

to discussing alligator pies to telling 

about giants with colds, poems can 

cover every topic under the sun. Earpleasing 

rhymes, strong rhythms and 

laugh-out-loud punchlines make for 

kidapproved poetry. A good poem is 

fun to chant aloud over and over and 

helps children gain reading and performance 

skills. Reading poetry every 

day to children can make them more 

excited about words and language. 

Also, encouraging children to write 

their own poetry can offer them an 

avenue for self-expression. 

Fantasy Novels 

Imagine exploring a world filled 

with magic, wizards, talking animals 

and make-believe creatures on a 

Saturday afternoon without ever having 

to leave your house… For young 

readers who love fairy tales, fantasy, 

science fiction and horror novels are a 

natural extension. Well-written fantasy 

novels allow children to expand 

their imaginations by introducing 

them to fictional, dream-like worlds 

that have their own politics, economics, 

religions and customs. While these 

worlds often seem quite different 

from our own, they are usually just 

enchanted versions of the world we 

are used to. 

Mystery and Detective Fiction 

Calling all armchair spies, detectives 

and gumshoes! If your child 

likes a good mystery, there are several 

great Canadian mystery and whodunit 

books out there that are perfect for 

kids of all ages. Mystery and detective 

novels not only entertain readers, 

but they also help them practise their 

critical-thinking skills. They capture 

the reader’s attention with exciting 

suspenseful, clever and believable 

plotlines as well as likable, intelligent 

detective characters. 

Read… 

Make books and reading a part of 

your children’s lives right from the 

start. And set aside regular time to 

read to your children from infancy to 

adolescence. 

Lead the Way… 

Make regular visits to your local 

library and bookstore to help your 

children find the best books available. 

And Set an Example… 

When children see adults enjoying 

a good book, they get a very important 

message—you never outgrow books! 

Healthy Families, Happy Families 

Child, Youth 

& Family 

Public Health 

South Island Health Units 

Esquimalt 250-519-5311 

Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton) 

Peninsula 250-544-2400 

Saanich 250-519-5100 

Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 

Sooke 250-519-3487 

Victoria 250-388-2200 

West Shore 250-519-3490 

Central Island Health Units 

Duncan 250-709-3050 

Ladysmith 250-755-3342 

Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 

Nanaimo 250-755-3342 

Nanaimo 250-739-5845 

Princess Royal 

Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 

Port Alberni 250-731-1315 

Tofino 250-725-4020 

North Island Health Units 

Campbell River 250-850-2110 

Courtenay 250-331-8520 

Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 

‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 

Port Hardy 250-902-6071 

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ 

health-unit-locations 

Changes with BC Medical Services Plan 

premiums mean that families eligible for partial 

payment of some medical services and access 

to some income-based programs now must 

apply for Supplementary Benefits through the 

Government of BC. Applications can be done 

online and take approximately 15 minutes. 

Families who previously qualified for MSP 

Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply 

if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to 

confirm coverage before proceeding with 

treatment to avoid paying out of pocket. 

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ 

content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ 

bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits 

grandmag.ca 


Cooking with 

Grandkids 

An Apple 

a Day 

There are a lot of fruits that can 

be grown locally. While berries 

and Okanagan stone fruit are 

abundant in the summer, by the time 

winter rolls around, apples are the 

only widely available BC grown fruit. 

Luckily, they are incredibly flavourful 

and versatile. They can be sweet with 

the taste of flowers or tart and tangy. 

Some apples are crisp and firm where 

others are soft and perfect for cooking. 

Here are three recipes that feature 

this most humble, everyday fruit. 

Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria 

and Saturna Island. She is the author 

of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog: 

BerriesAndBarnacles.com. 

Apple Almond Salad 

The Waldorf salad is the classic apple salad. 

However, apples are a delicious addition to all 

sorts of salad. This green salad combines the 

sweetness of apples, with the nutty crunch of 

almonds and creamy goat cheese. Simple and 

delicious, it is sure to be a favourite. 

Dressing 

4 Tbsp olive oil 

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar 

2 tsp Dijon mustard 

Pinch of salt and black pepper 

Salad 

2 apples (a firm, tart variety, like Granny Smith) 

1 cup of slivered almonds 

6 cups of mixed salad greens (about 1 head of 

lettuce) 

1 ⁄2 cup crumbled goat cheese or feta 

Mix the salad dressing ingredients in the 

bottom of a large bowl. 

Thinly slice the apples and chop into bitesized 

pieces. Add them to the salad dressing 

and toss to combine. 

Toast the slivered almonds in a dry pan until 

just starting to brown. Remove them immediately 

and set aside. 

Wash and dry the salad greens. Tear the 

greens into bite-sized pieces and add to the 

bowl. Toss with the salad dressing. 

Serve the salad, then top each serving with 

some toasted almonds and a bit of crumbled 

cheese. 

Carrot Apple Soup 

This carrot apple soup is based on a classic 

cream soup, however it uses cashews instead 

of cream. This not only makes it dairy-free and 

vegan, it also packs in a lot of protein, fibre and 

healthy fats. It also means that this soup is 

hearty enough for a one-dish meal. Perfect for 

busy weeknights! 

1 medium-sized onion 

8 carrots 

2 apples (a sweet variety like a spartan) 

1 celery rib 

1 Tbsp vegetable oil 

6 cups of low-sodium broth 

3 ⁄4 cup of cashews 

1 ⁄2 tsp of sage 

1 bay leaf 

Salt and pepper, to taste 

Roughly chop the onions, carrots, apples and 

celery. They will be pureed at the end, so they 

don’t need to be finely diced. 

Heat the oil in a large soup pot. Add all the 

vegetables and the apples. Cook until the onion 

is soft, about 5 minutes. Add the broth, cashews, 

sage and bay leaf. 

Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, cover and 

simmer for 20 minutes, until the carrots and 

cashews are soft. 

Turn off the heat and remove the bay leaf. 

Puree the soup, either with a stick blender or 

in a blender or food processor. The cashews 

should be soft enough that they will completely 

disappear. 

Taste and add salt and pepper as needed. 

The amount needed will depend on the saltiness 

of the broth. 

20 GRAND 

grandmag.ca

supports quality programming 

for families with children facing 

disabilities within your community. 

supports quality summer programming for families with children 

facing disabilities within your community. 

COMMUNITY OPTIONS 

Italian Apple Cake 

This Italian apple cake, called torta di mele, is 

beautiful and delicious. It’s also very easy to 

make! Serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped 

cream for a fancy dessert. Or enjoy it with a 

cup of coffee at brunch. 

1 ⁄2 cup of melted butter 

1 ⁄2 cup of honey 

1 cup of milk 

3 eggs 

1 tsp vanilla extract 

Zest of 1 lemon 

1 3 ⁄4 cups flour 

1 tsp baking powder 

3 apples (a sweet variety, like gala) 

Preheat the oven to 350° F. Grease and flour 

an 8-inch round cake pan. 

Mix the melted butter and honey together in 

a large bowl. Stir in the milk, then beat in the 

eggs, vanilla and lemon zest. 

Add the flour and baking powder. Stir to 

combine. Pour the batter into the prepared cake 

pan. 

Next, prepare the apples. Peel and core the 

apples. Thinly slice them, then arrange the 

slices on the top of the cake. You will need to 

overlap the slices. Just press the bottom ones 

lightly into the cake batter to make a layer of 

apples. 

Bake for 40–50 minutes, until a cake tester 

comes out clean and the apples are browning. 

Cool slightly before serving. If it is not sweet 

enough, then serve with a dusting of icing 

sugar. 

Have you ever wondered about the future and 

supports what You it quality might gifts promotes 

summer bring to programming 

kids families being kids with for 

this family families 

summer! members 

with children 


TODAY! OPTIONS 

COMMUNITY 

with a disability? You can make a difference by 

supports designating quality Community summer programming Options for for families Children with children and 

Families as your charity of choice when considering 

leaving facing a gift disabilities through within your your will or community. any other gift 

https://cocf.ca/get-involved/donations/ 

DONATE 

planning instrument (gifts of stock). Community 

OPTIONS 

COMMUNITY 

Options has supported tens of thousands of 

families in the community over the past 30+ 

supports years—supporting quality summer programming a better quality for families of 

TODAY! 

life with for children 


families on Southern Vancouver Island. 

You For gifts more promotes information, kids being please kids this contact summer! 

DONATE 

TODAY! 

Kathleen Burton, Executive Director 

250.380.6363 ext 205 

TODAY! 

You gifts promotes kids being kids this summer! 

You gifts promotes kids being kids this summer! 




DONATE 

COMMUNITY OPTIONS 

grandmag.ca 

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 21


Lessons Learned from Homeschooling 

Whatcha doing?” 

It was my granddaughter, 

“Grampa? 

Randi, standing behind me as 

I read the latest instalment of Frazz on 

the GoComics website. 

“Um, I was just working,” I replied. 

“Doesn’t look like work,” she said 

with a look that mimicked the look my 

daughter gives me when I say something 

stupid. 

“Can we do some of that math that 

we did when you were teaching me? 

I really liked those questions, and we 

never get to do them at school. Math is 

sort of boring there right now.” 

The math that she was talking about 

had been a point of contention during 

the period that I was teaching Randi. 

For six months after the schools closed 

because of the pandemic, I was conscripted 

as a replacement Grade Five 

teacher and, surprisingly, while it was a 

role that I first dreaded, I came to love it. 

A little context, though. 

When I started my teaching duties, 

I did all the research to find out what 

Randi was supposed to be learning at 

her grade level find out how she was 

doing. To my dismay, I found that my 

granddaughter—who I had always considered 

reasonably bright—was hopelessly 

behind in maths, testing at about 

a Grade 3 level. 

It only made me feel a little better 

when I spoke to the parents of some 

of her classmates and discovered that 

Randi wasn’t alone in being behind. 

So that was our starting point and 

for the next six months we worked on 

a full range of subjects for about three 

Tim Collins is a writer and freelance 

journalist living and working in Victoria. 

hours a day. Some days, Randi wanted 

to go longer. 

After a month, Randi had caught up 

to expectations in math. She’d come to 

realize that there is a certain poetry to 

mathematics and that most of our dayto-day 

challenges can be expressed and 

solved using numbers. 

Sensing her enthusiasm, I moved 

beyond the Grade 5 curriculum and 

started teaching her simple algebra 

and geometry. By the end of the third 

month, she was expressing word problems 

as algebraic equations and asking 

for speed tests so she could show off to 

her mom. 

“She doesn’t have to know that stuff 

yet,” my daughter growled. “You’re 

showing her math that she won’t be doing 

until Grade 8 or 9.” 

My response was to cite George W. 

Bush—something that, I assure you, I 

rarely do—when he railed against the 

“soft bigotry of low expectations.” 

The point is that Randi could understand 

so much more. 

And it wasn’t only math. 

We explored history, discussing topics 

that ranged from early humans and 

how Darwinian evolution explained the 

world. We talked about politics, past 

wars, science, history, and even modern 

political events. 

“Why do people have different skin 

colours, anyway?” 

“Has there always been racism?” 

“What was the Roman Empire and 

why does anyone still care about it?” 

She was full of questions and, together, 

we embarked on a sprawling 

journey of discovery. 

It was fun and it was a rare day that 

she didn’t bounce into my office, anxious 

to pick up from where we’d left off 

the day before. 

But then the schools opened, and 

Randi was equally excited to go off 

to Grade 6, a new school and a bevy 

of friends that call themselves “the 

squad.” 

Those were experiences I couldn’t 

duplicate. 

I learned a lot from the half year of 

playing teacher. 

I learned that one can’t assume that 

your child is learning as they should. I 

learned that we don’t give our children 

enough credit. They need to be challenged. 

As for Randi and me, we still have 

our talks about what’s going on in the 

world and, sometimes, we still play 

with math. 

I’m working on getting her to read 

“Frazz” as well. You can learn a lot from 

the comics. 

22 GRAND grandmag.ca

McTavish Academy of Art 

SPONSORED CONTENT 

McTavish Academy of Art resides in a former elementary school building 

in North Saanich on Vancouver Island, BC. The 18,000 sq. foot space has 

been transformed into a vibrant and inclusive creative arts facility. 

McTavish Academy of Art is a community focused centre where you 

can explore your creativity, discover new passions and experience a variety 

of events and activities. We strive to provide space for our growing 

community to feel empowered and encouraged to express themselves 

through art, movement and community engagement. 

With the start of the pandemic nearly two years ago, the change to 

limit in-person programs created the need to quickly come up with creative 

ways to pull through. Partnering with local art stores, we started 

creating free art kits for the community. As the closures progressed, we 

continued making art kits and worked hard to evolve them. Starting with 

a small laser cutting machine and four different art kit designs, over the 

past year we now have created over 25 art kits. All of these new 25 kits 

were designed, laser cut and packaged in-house and include all supplies 

to create a custom work of art. mctavishacademy.ca/art-kits/ 

After six years of bringing this vision to life, we are excited to return 

to in-person programming. We will continue the evolution of McTavish 

Academy of Art, sharing alongside innovative instructors and a supportive 

and encouraging community. 

– Sean McNeill, Co-Founder / AKA “The Principal” 

mctavishacademy.ca 

778.351.0088 

create@mctavishacademy.ca 

1720 McTavish Rd, North Saanich, BC 

Create with us! 

These ready to assemble art kits 

include all the supplies to create your 

custom work of art. Designed, 

laser cut & packaged on 

Vancouver Island, BC. 

McTavishAcademy.ca 

778-351-0088 

create@mctavishacademy.ca 

1720 McTavish Rd, North Saanich, BC 

grandmag.ca 



Susan Gnucci is a local author and a 

proud “nonna” to two young grandsons. 

She enjoys sharing her experiences as 

a grandparent. 


I’ve always had a good relationship 

with my 7-year-old grandson. Along 

with his other grandparents, I’ve 

played an integral role in his life from 

the day he was born. But I’ve noted a 

definite shift in our relationship this 

past summer. He’s entered what I call 

the “You’re not the boss of me” stage. 

Whereas he once used to be compliant 

when it came to suggestions and 

direction, he will now sometimes put 

up resistance and even the occasional 

outright challenge. So a spur-of-the 

moment change of plans might now 

be met with—“I don’t like your ideas, 

Nonna.” Or reminding him to get 

dressed in the morning might prompt 

the complaint, “You’re bossy.” And announcing 

bedtime might result in the 

classic, “You’re not my mommy!” 

This isn’t at all unexpected; after all, 

this isn’t my first rodeo, so I certainly 

don’t take it to heart. But my approach 

in dealing with this stage is very different 

with my grandson than it was 

with his father (my son). As a parent, I 

took a much harder line—“As a matter 

of fact, I AM the boss of you and you’ll 

do as I say.” I soon discovered, however, 

that that approach didn’t always 

work well when it came to a willful 

child. I was often met with responses 

from my son ranging from, “Well, I 

want a different mommy” to “I’m going 

to trade you in for a new mommy,”, 

or even the ultimate heart-breaker— 

“I wish I had so-and-so’s mommy.” 


As a grandparent, I am much more 

open to reasoning with my grandson 

as I have the luxury of having the 

patience and the energy reserves to 

do so. As a parent, I had too much on 

the go to sit down and explain myself 

to a 7-year-old—there were lunches 

to make, laundry to do, homework to 

check, baths to supervise, and a host 

of other chores that all had to be done 

before I was able to sit down for a 

few minutes of peace at the end of an 

evening. As a grandparent, I am wellrested 

and prepared to devote all of 

my energy to my grandson each time 

I see him. 

I must admit though that my first 

attempt to talk with my grandson 

about expectations and boundaries 

fell flat—“If I didn’t care about you, I 

wouldn’t be bossy.” This explanation 

only elicited a blank stare from him 

at first, followed swiftly by narrowed 

eyes as he contemplated whether I 

was trying to pull a fast one on him 

or not. I quickly realized it was the 

double-negative that threw him, so I 

tried to put it in simpler terms—“I’m 

‘bossy’ because I care about you. I care 

if you’re dressed warmly enough. I 

care if you’re clean. I care if you get to 

practice on time.” I could see the little 

wheels in his head turning for an appropriate 

response to such logic, but 

ultimately he couldn’t come up with 

one, so he simply shrugged his shoulders 

with a rather dramatic, exasperated 

sigh and then wandered off. 

Well, I’ve won this round…for now. 

But I know as he enters the dreaded 

pre-teen years, there will be more 

challenges ahead and eliciting his 

cooperation will be key. I don’t want 

his obedience, however, to be based 

on fear of punishment but rather on 

respect. And one way to foster such 

respect is to help him understand that 

we all have expectations placed upon 

us, at any stage in life. After all, I have 

to show up for work Monday through 

Friday and I am accountable to a boss. 

That’s just a simple fact of life. 

Helping our children and grandchildren 

understand this is crucial. 

I remember a comment my mother 

used to make all the time during my 

childhood—“I’m here to tell you that 

the world does not revolve around 

insert full name (including all middle 

names).” How true. Setting clear expectations 

and boundaries with our 

children and grandchildren is the best 

way to teach them about accountability. 

Holding them to those is another 

matter as this may feel like a tall order 

when treading water most days as 

parents, but investing the time when 

children are young will ultimately pay 

off. 

So the next time your child or 

grandchild informs you that “You’re 

not the boss of me,” take a deep breath 

and tell them you set expectations and 

boundaries because you love them. 

And hopefully, you won’t receive the 

retort my son once gave me—“Well 

then…don’t love me so much!” 

FAMILY CAREGIVERS OF BC 

www.familycaregiversbc.ca 

Are you a family caregiver looking for information, 

education, and supports? Family Caregivers of BC has a 

number of ways we can help, including our: 

BC Caregiver toll-free support line: 1-877-520-3267 

8:30 am – 4:00 pm Monday, Wednesday, Friday and 

8:30 am – 7:00 pm Tuesday and Thursday 

BC Men's Virtual Support Group 

Greater Victoria Caregiver Support Program 

Caregiver Learning Centre, filled with free online 

resources 

Learn more about our programs and services: 

https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca 

grandmag.ca

GRAND, Vol IV Ed IV, Winter 21-22

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