January 2022 Parenta magazine
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Creatively<br />
expressing emotions<br />
Managing children’s emotions can be problematic. We may lose<br />
our patience, feel triggered by their outbursts, or become reactive<br />
ourselves when they behave. Or act out in certain ways. We may insist<br />
that they ‘calm down!’ or patiently explain to them that their actions<br />
are unacceptable, only to be met with more difficult behaviour.<br />
Although children need to learn how to<br />
emotionally regulate, it’s also important<br />
that they are able to express what they are<br />
feeling, and for those feelings to be seen,<br />
heard and validated by us. That’s why<br />
it’s vital that we are able to self-regulate<br />
in those difficult moments; so that we are<br />
able to create a safe space where those<br />
feelings can be processed, expressed and<br />
released.<br />
But how an earth can you do that in the<br />
middle of the supermarket? I might hear<br />
you ask! And what about their incredibly<br />
bad behaviour!?<br />
All behaviour is communication! Those<br />
outward behavioural displays are coming<br />
from a need in the child to feel seen,<br />
understood and accepted. For example, a<br />
child might feel angry about not receiving<br />
an invite to their friends party; being<br />
unable to communicate or verbalise<br />
their anger they might lash out, become<br />
frustrated or annoyed. Or that anger could<br />
turn inwards and be expressed through<br />
self-criticism, judgement or self-harm.<br />
Emotions are doing a job, pointing to an<br />
experience, thought or feeling. It’s our<br />
job to give recognition to those emotions,<br />
so they aren’t suppressed, ignored or<br />
shamed. When we are able to welcome<br />
in every emotion without judgement and<br />
reactivity, that’s when the thought or<br />
feeling underneath the behaviour can start<br />
to come through and be expressed.<br />
Learning how to verbalise emotions<br />
through language takes time. (I’m sure<br />
you know some adults who still haven’t<br />
mastered the art!) So this is where<br />
creative expression can play a big part<br />
in supporting children work through,<br />
understand and express what they’re<br />
feeling.<br />
Recognise the feeling<br />
Children can get overwhelmed by their<br />
emotions and fearful of them. Teaching<br />
them that every emotion is welcome and<br />
is part of being human, can help to lessen<br />
the need for them to suppress how they’re<br />
feeling.<br />
Finding a time to play with emotions can<br />
help children to recognise them when they<br />
arise in the moment. One of the best ways<br />
to explore this is through drama play or<br />
improvisation: as it provides a framework<br />
where children can safely embody<br />
emotions within the structure of a game.<br />
The ‘Potato’ game is one of my favourites,<br />
as it gives children the opportunity to<br />
explore and exaggerate what an emotion<br />
feels like in the body. You can play this<br />
game with a group of children or one-toone.<br />
The aim of the game is to say the word<br />
‘potato’ in the style of an emotion. What<br />
would a shy potato look and sound like?<br />
A stressed potato? An excited potato?<br />
Embody each emotion, clench fists for<br />
angry, hunch shoulders for sad, move and<br />
smile for happy. Explore the realms of all<br />
the emotions through movement, voice<br />
and posture.<br />
Create without an outcome<br />
Learning to put outcomes and objectives to<br />
one side and be creative for the purpose of<br />
self-expression can be hard for us adults.<br />
When we conform to a structure or are set<br />
to an outcome-driven activity, like making<br />
a card, building a vase or creating a dream<br />
catcher for example, the child is limited to<br />
the structure and therefore has little room to<br />
explore their feelings.<br />
Not all creative projects need a final piece.<br />
Try moving beyond a structured activity and<br />
explore more expressive ways to create.<br />
Mark-making for example can be a great<br />
way to release emotions. Get a big piece<br />
of paper and stick it to the wall, then use<br />
paint, chalk, charcoal or felt tips, maybe<br />
exploring different art tools, like brushes,<br />
pallet knifes and sponges. Allow those<br />
emotions to be released in the marks, don’t<br />
be afraid to make a mess!<br />
Release the emotion<br />
Movement can help to shift and release<br />
suppressed emotions. You can use this<br />
technique with your child in the moment or<br />
retrospectively after an event or challenging<br />
situation. Take a nice deep breath in,<br />
stretching up to the sky with your hands,<br />
tense every single muscle. And as you<br />
exhale, release the hands down and shout<br />
“HA! “<br />
Katie White<br />
Katie Rose White is a Laughter Facilitator<br />
and founder of The Best Medicine. She<br />
works predominantly with carers, teachers<br />
and healthcare professionals - teaching<br />
playful strategies for boosting mood,<br />
strengthening resilience and improving<br />
well-being. She provides practical<br />
workshops, interactive talks and training<br />
days - fusing therapeutic laughter<br />
techniques, playful games and activities,<br />
and mindfulness-based practices. The<br />
techniques are not only designed to equip<br />
participants with tools for managing their<br />
stress, but can also be used and adapted<br />
to the needs of the people that they are<br />
supporting.<br />
Email: thebestmedicine@outlook.com<br />
Twitter: www.twitter.com/bestmedicine1<br />
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/<br />
thebestmedicinecornwall<br />
This exercise works particularly well for<br />
nerves or anxiety. HA! The feeling can go<br />
out the window, in the bin or down the<br />
toilet!<br />
For more information on how to playfully<br />
and creatively support children check out<br />
www.thebestmedicine.co.uk<br />
10 <strong>January</strong> <strong>2022</strong> | parenta.com<br />
parenta.com | <strong>January</strong> <strong>2022</strong> 11