The Twelve days of Christmas

The naughty Guernsey pouques (pixies) decide to perform the 12 days of Christmas and it does not go to plan.

The naughty Guernsey pouques (pixies) decide to perform the 12 days of Christmas and it does not go to plan.


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<strong>The</strong> <strong>Twelve</strong> <strong>days</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong><br />

A photo play written by Witch Guernsey Gwen<br />

and performed by the Guernsey Pouques

Introduction<br />

<strong>The</strong> Guernsey pouques are like naughty pixies. Each Channel Island<br />

has its own pouques and witch. <strong>The</strong> pouques are shape shifters and<br />

can change into animals. You can recognise a pouque animal as it is<br />

green and orange. <strong>The</strong>y are delighted to perform for you today.<br />

Pouques never tell humans their real name and if you ask them they<br />

will say that they are called P’tite Jeanne or P’tit Jean.<br />

<strong>The</strong> witches are called:<br />

Alderney Annie<br />

Herm Hattie<br />

Guernsey Gill<br />

Guernsey Gwen<br />

Jersey Lillie<br />

Sark Sallie

On the first day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

A partridge in a pear tree<br />

P’tit Jean was the first pouque to perform and became the partridge in the pear tree. <strong>The</strong><br />

pouques struggled to find a tree with fruit on in the middle <strong>of</strong> winter so they cellotaped<br />

some pears to a random tree in a field that still had leaves on.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y then took a photo.<br />

Unfortunately, the local farmer caught them trespassing and liked the idea <strong>of</strong> partridge pie.<br />

P’tit Jean was lucky to escape. <strong>The</strong> pouques had to carefully remove the lead shot from his<br />


On the second day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Two turtle doves……<br />

P’tites Jeannes made themselves into two turtle doves. P’tit Jean turned himself back into a<br />

partridge and held a pear in his beak to represent the tree. He told the others he was not<br />

going back to the farmer’s field.<br />

<strong>The</strong> two turtle doves sat on the branch <strong>of</strong> a tree in the garden. <strong>The</strong>y were horrified when a<br />

sparrowhawk screeched down and tried to grab them for his tea.<br />

Both turtle doves escaped, one having only sacrificed a few feathers, and the other went to<br />

get first aid.

On the third day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Three French hens…….<br />

<strong>The</strong> young pouques decided to do this one and gave a rendition <strong>of</strong> La Marseillaise (the<br />

French National Anthem), at the same time. One <strong>of</strong> them even managed to produce an egg<br />

for tea. <strong>The</strong> other two failed to do this as they had accidentally turned themselves into<br />

cockerels.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y were out in the garden posing for a photo and felt confident that they wouldn’t have a<br />

problem since there are no foxes on Guernsey. However, they didn’t realise that they had a<br />

garden visitor. A large dog grabbed one <strong>of</strong> the hens and scuttled <strong>of</strong>f with it. <strong>The</strong> other<br />

pouques chased after the dog, throwing pears at it until it dropped a rather dishevelled hen,<br />

who, feeling traumatised, went home.<br />

<strong>The</strong> turtle dove and partridge watched from inside the bunker, confirming to themselves<br />

that this was a good place to be.

On the fourth day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Four colley birds…..<br />

<strong>The</strong> Sark pouques made themselves into blackbirds. <strong>The</strong> word colley is a northern word to<br />

mean coal.<br />

<strong>The</strong> four colley birds took their place on a tree branch and posed for the camera. <strong>The</strong><br />

neighbour’s cat had other ideas. Three <strong>of</strong> the birds just managed to escape. <strong>The</strong> others<br />

threw eggs at the cat until it dropped the fourth bird. Traumatised, he went to sit down.<br />

<strong>The</strong> French hens, turtle dove and partridge watched from inside their bunker, remembering<br />

why they weren’t outside.

On the fifth day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Five gold rings…..<br />

Guernsey Gwen donated her gold hula hoops for P’tite Jeanne and P’tite Jean to act out this<br />

one. <strong>The</strong>y organised a spontaneous hula hooping competition. Herm Hattie had very agile<br />

hips and won. <strong>The</strong> others thought that it was not a fair competition as Hattie regularly<br />

attends the local witches’ gymnastics club.<br />

<strong>The</strong> three colley birds, two French hens, one turtle dove and partridge all had a go a hula<br />

hooping as well.<br />

<strong>The</strong> bunker is getting a bit crowded and is full <strong>of</strong> bird poop.

On the sixth day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Six geese a-laying……<br />

<strong>The</strong> Alderney pouques performed this one. Quite nervous at being outside, they didn’t have<br />

a choice as the bunker was now full <strong>of</strong> other birds.<br />

Alderney Annie witch kept watch. Unfortunately, she got distracted by posting selfies on her<br />

twitter account and didn't notice the approaching humans keen to choose their <strong>Christmas</strong><br />

dinner. <strong>The</strong> chosen goose did manage to make a hole in the sack and escape before it was<br />

bundled in the car.<br />

<strong>The</strong> other five geese demanded to be let into the bunker, which was now rather smelly. <strong>The</strong><br />

sixth goose was too traumatised to carry on.

On the seventh day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Seven swans a-swimming…….<br />

<strong>The</strong> fairy folk decided to act this scene out on St Saviour’s reservoir.<br />

<strong>The</strong> five geese, three colley birds, two French hens, a turtle dove and the partridge<br />

nervously flew to the reservoir to have a look. <strong>The</strong>y were accompanied by Sark Sallie on her<br />

broomstick and felt a little safer travelling in a group.<br />

<strong>The</strong> green swans attracted a lot <strong>of</strong> human attention. <strong>The</strong> environmental health humans put<br />

out an island wide alert not to drink water from the tap and came to take some samples,<br />

concerned that the green swans might be covered in poisonous algae.<br />

<strong>The</strong> swans made a hasty exit when one <strong>of</strong> the human scientists tried to catch them in order<br />

to analyse them. <strong>The</strong> geese, blackbirds, hens, turtle dove and partridge didn't hang around<br />


On the eighth day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Eight maids a-milking……..<br />

This scene took place the Guernsey Dairy. <strong>The</strong> fairy folk found some cows heading towards<br />

the milking parlour and stopped them to ask them to pose.<br />

<strong>The</strong> cows obliged.<br />

One <strong>of</strong> the P’tites Jeannes struggled get any milk and found out why when the angry bull<br />

whose “udder” she was pulling snorted angrily and ran towards them all.<br />

<strong>The</strong> fairy folk scarpered but managed to get three pails <strong>of</strong> fresh creamy Guernsey milk to<br />

take back with them to the bunker.

On the ninth day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Nine ladies dancing………<br />

<strong>The</strong> fairy folk were quite exhausted by now having escaped a famer, a sparrowhawk, a dog,<br />

a cat, hungry humans, scientists, and a bull.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y were lucky as it was the final day <strong>of</strong> the World dance championships and they<br />

managed to persuade the sugar plum fairy troop to pose for a photo at the Princess Royal<br />

<strong>The</strong>atre.<br />

<strong>The</strong> birds joined them in the audience. All the fairy folk watching were given a fresh glass <strong>of</strong><br />

creamy Guernsey milk.<br />

Everyone breathed a sigh <strong>of</strong> relief when the performance went smoothly but it took quite a<br />

while for them to clear up the the split milk, bird poop, broken eggs, and squashed pears.

On the tenth day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Ten lords a-leaping……….<br />

P’tite Jeanne whatsapped her Aunty, Joan the Wad, Queen <strong>of</strong> the Cornish piskies, asking if<br />

she knew any Lords.<br />

She contacted the English Faerie who happened to be in London at the houses <strong>of</strong><br />

Parliament. <strong>The</strong> faerie wandered around to try and find some Lords. She came across ten <strong>of</strong><br />

them playing <strong>Christmas</strong> games in one <strong>of</strong> the chambers. <strong>The</strong>y weren’t social distancing.<br />

She overheard one <strong>of</strong> them saying that it wasn't a party. It was a business meeting.<br />

Anyway, the English faerie sent the pouques a photo for this scene.

On the eleventh day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

Eleven pipers piping………..<br />

P’tit Jean called Ghillie Dhu, up in Scotland, and asked if he could find some pipers for this<br />

scene. He found a troop making a recording for Hogmanay. COVID 19 meant that live<br />

celebrations have been cancelled.<br />

Ghillie Dhu sent through the film, and everyone danced as the piper played the Gay Gordon.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y did their best amongst the slippery bird poo, broken eggs, pulverised pears, and awful<br />

sweaty smell in the bunker.

On the twelfth day <strong>of</strong> <strong>Christmas</strong>, my true love sent to me:<br />

<strong>Twelve</strong> drummers drumming<br />

Sark Sallie had a really good idea for this scene. She found the photo that they took when<br />

everyone was beating a drum for the NHS earlier on in the year at the Interceltique<br />

petitgens fairy folk conference.<br />

Everyone looked back at that photo and remembered what it was like in lockdown. <strong>The</strong>y<br />

were thankful that they had all been triple jabbed so they wouldn't get seriously ill with the<br />

latest version <strong>of</strong> the fairy folk virus PV19 (Pouque virus 19)<br />

Phew, 2021 is nearly over. What a year it has been. <strong>The</strong> fairy folk across the world have been<br />

working as hard as ever to protect their humans from the nano invader COVID-19. <strong>The</strong>y all<br />

hope that next year would be better.<br />

<strong>The</strong> END

www.pouques.gg @guernseypouque

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