Pouques and the politicians

The Guernsey pouques have decided to write a panto starring all their favourite Guernsey politicians. Guernsey Gwen reports back on the first stage- choosing the characters that the politicians will play,

The Guernsey pouques have decided to write a panto starring all their favourite Guernsey politicians. Guernsey Gwen reports back on the first stage- choosing the characters that the politicians will play,


You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.

Guernsey <strong>Pouques</strong><br />

<strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong> Politicians<br />

2022<br />

By Guernsey Gwen

<strong>Pouques</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>politicians</strong><br />

The pouques decided to write a pantomime starring <strong>the</strong><br />

<strong>politicians</strong> in Guernsey.<br />

• There are 38 <strong>politicians</strong> who sit in <strong>the</strong> Guernsey parliament<br />

which is called <strong>the</strong> States of Deliberation.<br />

• The <strong>politicians</strong> are called Deputies.<br />

• There are no political parties.<br />

• Some <strong>politicians</strong> chair committees <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>y have a job similar<br />

to ministers.<br />

• The top politician, a bit like a prime minister, is called <strong>the</strong> Chief<br />

Minister. The o<strong>the</strong>r <strong>politicians</strong> choose this leader.<br />

• In <strong>the</strong> last election, Guernsey people had a voting paper which<br />

was over 1 metre long with 119 names on. It didn’t fit on <strong>the</strong><br />

shelf in <strong>the</strong> voting booth. Most people voted by post. They had<br />

to choose 38 <strong>politicians</strong>.<br />

• Only 8 women <strong>politicians</strong> got voted in.<br />

• The last Guernsey election took place in October 2020 under<br />

COVID restrictions <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>politicians</strong> will stay in post for four<br />

years.<br />

A report on <strong>the</strong> voting in <strong>the</strong> October 2020 election can be found<br />

here<br />

Each deputy has been assigned a character for <strong>the</strong> panto. Guernsey Gwen, <strong>the</strong> storyteller,<br />

provides her own commentary on each fairy character.<br />


Deputy Aldwell <strong>and</strong> Deputy de Lisle will play <strong>the</strong> Norwegian Nisse<br />

or Christmas gnomes.<br />

The Nisse live on farms, <strong>and</strong> act as <strong>the</strong> guardian. If treated well, <strong>the</strong>y protect <strong>the</strong> family <strong>and</strong><br />

animals from bad luck <strong>and</strong> help with farm work. However, <strong>the</strong>y are known to be short<br />

tempered, especially when annoyed, when <strong>the</strong>y will usually play tricks.<br />


Deputy Blin is <strong>the</strong> Aboriginal W<strong>and</strong>jina with lightning hair. He<br />

shouldn't really have a mouth.<br />

The W<strong>and</strong>jina created <strong>the</strong> Australian l<strong>and</strong>scape <strong>and</strong> inhabitants. The spirits painted <strong>the</strong>ir<br />

images on cave walls, <strong>and</strong> this is what modern humans can now see today.<br />

The W<strong>and</strong>jina can punish those who break <strong>the</strong> law with floods, lightning, <strong>and</strong> cyclones.<br />


Let’s hope that Deputy Brouard doesn't fall off too many walls like<br />

Humpty Dumpty when he is doing his politicianing.<br />

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,<br />

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.<br />

All <strong>the</strong> Queen’s horses <strong>and</strong> Lieutenant Governor’s men,<br />

Couldn't put Humpty toge<strong>the</strong>r again.<br />


One of our few women <strong>politicians</strong>, Deputy Burford plays <strong>the</strong> part of<br />

a Danish female troldkvinde.<br />

There are lots of different types of trolls; here is a kindly troll but she needs to avoid sunlight<br />

o<strong>the</strong>rwise she will turn to stone.<br />


Deputy Bury is makes a kindly Guernsey witch.<br />

The Channel Isl<strong>and</strong> witches look after <strong>the</strong>ir Humans. Each isl<strong>and</strong> has <strong>the</strong>ir own witch, <strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>the</strong>y all have broomsticks that run on renewable power. They play tricks on Humans, but<br />

<strong>the</strong>y also look out for <strong>the</strong>m. They boss <strong>the</strong> pouques around.<br />


Deputy Cameron <strong>and</strong> Deputy Dudley Owen make a very Christmas<br />

pair; Russian Gr<strong>and</strong>pa Frost, Ded Moroz <strong>and</strong> his gr<strong>and</strong>daughter, <strong>the</strong><br />

Snow Maiden Snegurochka.<br />

They give out presents at Christmas in Eastern Europe in places like Russia <strong>and</strong> Ukraine <strong>and</strong><br />

make sure <strong>the</strong> wicked witch, Baba Yaga, doesn’t steal <strong>the</strong> gifts.<br />


The kindly Swedish tree spirit fairy Älva is played by Deputy De<br />

Sausmarez<br />

Älva looks after <strong>the</strong> woodl<strong>and</strong>s <strong>and</strong> animals <strong>and</strong> makes sure <strong>the</strong> natural cycles on <strong>the</strong> Earth<br />

keep everything sustainable. She gets cross with Humans who ruin <strong>the</strong> environment. It is so<br />

much easier to fly, as she doesn’t have to worry about cycling up <strong>the</strong> hills.<br />


I wonder if Deputy Dyke has ever considered playing Fa<strong>the</strong>r<br />

Christmas.<br />

Fa<strong>the</strong>r Christmas, or Santa Claus is well known around <strong>the</strong> world as a jolly character who<br />

gives out presents. Scientists have even calculated how fast his sled must go to get round to<br />

all <strong>the</strong> children. He lives in <strong>the</strong> North Pole <strong>and</strong> has an elf workshop where <strong>the</strong>y make all <strong>the</strong><br />

toys. This year <strong>the</strong> elves decided to reduce <strong>the</strong>ir carbon footprint, so <strong>the</strong>y banned plastic.<br />

This did make it difficult.<br />


Deputy Fairclough plays that naughty Scottish Ghillie Dhu.<br />

Ghillie Dhuor (Gille Dubh) is a solitary male fairy. He is kindly <strong>and</strong> reticent, yet sometimes<br />

wild in character.<br />


Deputy Falla plays P’tit Jean, a mischievous Guernsey pouque.<br />

The pouques are mischievous shape shifting pixies <strong>and</strong> each Channel Isl<strong>and</strong> has a colony.<br />

They like to play tricks on humans. They never tell humans <strong>the</strong>ir real name, so <strong>the</strong>y are all<br />

called P’tit Jean.<br />


Beware of <strong>the</strong> Chief Minister, Deputy Ferbrache. He plays <strong>the</strong> part<br />

of <strong>the</strong> giant winged Asturian serpent Cuélebre.<br />

He lives in a cave, guards treasure, <strong>and</strong> keeps anjanas as prisoners. Although <strong>the</strong>y are<br />

immortal, <strong>the</strong> cuélebre age, <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir scales become thick <strong>and</strong> impenetrable, <strong>and</strong> batwings<br />

grow in <strong>the</strong>ir bodies. They do not usually move, but when <strong>the</strong>y do it, it is to eat cattle <strong>and</strong><br />

people.<br />


Deputy Gabriel looks a natural as Sinterklaas.<br />

Sinterklaas give out presents to good children in central Europe of December 5/6th. He has<br />

piets (elves) to help him out.<br />


Deputy Gollop looks just <strong>the</strong> part to play Olentzero, a Basque<br />

character.<br />

Olentzero carved wooden animals, toys, <strong>and</strong> dolls. When he had a big bag full of toys he<br />

hiked to <strong>the</strong> village in <strong>the</strong> valley <strong>and</strong> distributed <strong>the</strong> wooden toys amongst <strong>the</strong> children<br />

because he liked to see <strong>the</strong>m happy. One day as he came down to <strong>the</strong> village, he found a<br />

house in flames. He ran into <strong>the</strong> house <strong>and</strong> freed <strong>the</strong> trapped children by lowering <strong>the</strong>m from<br />

an upstairs window. With everyone safe he went downstairs, when suddenly <strong>the</strong> house<br />

collapsed under <strong>the</strong> fire, burying him. Olentzero now lives forever, making toys for all <strong>the</strong><br />

children in <strong>the</strong> Basque country.<br />


Deputy Inder plays Joulupukki, <strong>the</strong> Finnish Christmas goat who<br />

turns into a goat man at Christmas.<br />

He rings <strong>the</strong> bell <strong>and</strong> enters politely through <strong>the</strong> door, asking <strong>the</strong> still-awake families “Onko<br />

täällä kilttejä lapsia?” (“Are <strong>the</strong>re any well-behaved children here?”). He wears red robes<br />

<strong>and</strong> drives a sleigh pulled by reindeer (who don’t fly), <strong>and</strong> calls Korvatunturi in Lapl<strong>and</strong><br />

home.<br />

I wonder what <strong>the</strong> Deputy will look like as a Golden Guernsey Goat.<br />


Deputy Kazantseva-Miller – The Cantabrian L’Anjana fairy.<br />

These female fairy creatures are <strong>the</strong> good fairies of Cantabria, generous <strong>and</strong> protective of all<br />

people. They are seen walking through <strong>the</strong> forest trails, resting on <strong>the</strong> banks of springs <strong>and</strong><br />

streams which <strong>the</strong>n seem to come alive. They can talk with <strong>the</strong> water that flows from <strong>the</strong><br />

springs. She needs to be wary though of <strong>the</strong> Cuélebre who will take her prisoner <strong>and</strong> not call<br />

her by her proper name.<br />


Deputy Le Tocq plays <strong>the</strong> part from <strong>the</strong> Brittany Korrigan.<br />

Korrigans can take on any shape <strong>and</strong> move quickly. They also can transform a leafy forest to<br />

trap humans. Only a ray of daylight can dissolve <strong>the</strong> Korrigan. If you come across a Korrigan<br />

combing its hair or counting treasures on a Saturday, you should fear for your life.<br />


Deputy Meerveld plays <strong>the</strong> Isle of Man Moonijer Veggey (<strong>the</strong> little<br />

people)<br />

The Moonijer Veggey wear red caps <strong>and</strong> green jackets <strong>and</strong> are most often seen on horseback<br />

followed by packs of little hounds of all <strong>the</strong> colours of <strong>the</strong> rainbow. They are ra<strong>the</strong>r inclined<br />

to be mischievous <strong>and</strong> spiteful. They live in green hillsides. Anyone passing by on a clear<br />

summer's evening would probably hear delightful music; but <strong>the</strong>y must take care not to<br />

linger as <strong>the</strong>y will be captured. Moonijer Veggey are visible to people only when <strong>the</strong>y choose<br />

to be. Some of <strong>the</strong>m are benevolent, curing humans of diseases <strong>and</strong> bringing <strong>the</strong>m luck.<br />

O<strong>the</strong>rs are malevolent, stealing children, even abducting adults, <strong>and</strong> bringing bad luck.<br />


Deputy Moakes has been given <strong>the</strong> part of Rudolph Junior.<br />

His famous fa<strong>the</strong>r, Rudolph senior, is well known for guiding Santa’s sleigh with his large red<br />

nose which fluoresces at night due to bioluminescence.<br />

But do you recall,<br />

The most famous reindeer of all.<br />

Rudolph, <strong>the</strong> red-nosed reindeer,<br />

had a very shiny nose,<br />

<strong>and</strong> if you ever saw it,<br />

you would even say it glows.<br />


Deputy Murray has been given <strong>the</strong> part of <strong>the</strong> Brazilian Curupira<br />

This fairy has bright red/orange hair, <strong>and</strong> resembles a man or a dwarf, but its feet are turned<br />

backwards. Curupira lives in <strong>the</strong> forests of Brazil <strong>and</strong> uses its backward feet to create<br />

footprints that lead to a starting point, thus making human travellers confused. It can also<br />

create illusions <strong>and</strong> produce a sound like a high-pitched whistle which scares <strong>and</strong> drives its<br />

victim mad.<br />


Deputy Oliver plays Babushka, a friendly Russian gr<strong>and</strong>mo<strong>the</strong>r<br />

One evening Babushka was busy dusting <strong>and</strong> cleaning away. She had heard about a bright<br />

star in <strong>the</strong> sky but thought,<br />

“I don’t have <strong>the</strong> time to look because I’m so behind with my work. I must work all night!”<br />

However, <strong>the</strong>re was a knock on <strong>the</strong> door. It was <strong>the</strong> three kings who asked to say <strong>the</strong> night in<br />

her cottage. When it was time for <strong>the</strong>m to leave, <strong>the</strong>y asked Babushka to come with <strong>the</strong>m,<br />

but she said she had not finished tidying <strong>and</strong> would follow <strong>the</strong>m shortly. She went to find <strong>the</strong><br />

kings later with some toys for <strong>the</strong> Baby Jesus. She never did <strong>and</strong> so she now gives toys to<br />

children each Christmas.<br />


Deputy Parkinson plays <strong>the</strong> fairy frog.<br />

The fairy frog has appeared in all sorts of stories. He is associated with Jewish fairy<br />

tales where Hanina <strong>and</strong> his wife are rewarded greatly for looking after <strong>the</strong> frog. Also, you<br />

will read about him as <strong>the</strong> frog prince, in <strong>the</strong> German Grimm's fairy tales, who persuades a<br />

princess to kiss him so he can turn back into a h<strong>and</strong>some prince, released from a witch’s<br />

spell. I wonder who will kiss Deputy Parkinson in <strong>the</strong> panto?<br />


Deputy Queripel is Le Gr<strong>and</strong> Colin, a senior member of <strong>the</strong><br />

Guernsey fairy folk.<br />

The older members of <strong>the</strong> Guernsey fairy folk can get annoyed with <strong>the</strong> boisterous<br />

youngsters. However, Le Gr<strong>and</strong> Colin still feels he can compete with <strong>the</strong> youngsters when it<br />

comes to playing tricks on <strong>the</strong> Guernsey humans.<br />


Deputy Roffey plays Giljaguar, one of <strong>the</strong> Finnish Yule lads.<br />

Giljaguar, “Gully-Gawk” comes down from <strong>the</strong> mountains on 13th December– he hides in<br />

gullies, waiting for a chance to sneak into cowsheds <strong>and</strong> steal milk. If children have been<br />

good, <strong>the</strong>n he will put sweets int <strong>the</strong>ir shoes. I am sure Deputy Roffey will enjoy tasting some<br />

creamy Guernsey milk in <strong>the</strong> panto. I expect one of <strong>the</strong> pouques will change into a cow.<br />


Deputy Soulsby plays <strong>the</strong> wise old Gran’mere du Chimquiere.<br />

She is a menhir outside St Martin’s church <strong>and</strong> has been around for thous<strong>and</strong>s of years. She<br />

is in charge of <strong>the</strong> Guernsey fairy folk <strong>and</strong> played a big part in deciding how <strong>the</strong> pouques<br />

could look after <strong>the</strong> Guernsey humans during <strong>the</strong> p<strong>and</strong>emic.<br />


Deputy St Pier has been given <strong>the</strong> role of <strong>the</strong> mischievous Irish<br />

Leprechaun.<br />

Solitary by nature, <strong>the</strong> leprechaun lives in remote places <strong>and</strong> makes shoes. You can tell<br />

where he lives by <strong>the</strong> sound of hammering. He possesses a hidden pot of gold; if captured, he<br />

might reveal its hiding place. But usually, <strong>the</strong> captor is tricked into glancing away, <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />

fairy vanishes.<br />


Deputy Le Tissier plays <strong>the</strong> pantomime dame, La Gr<strong>and</strong>e Mabelle.<br />

She may be a senior member of <strong>the</strong> Guernsey fairy folk, but she is just as mischievous as <strong>the</strong><br />

younger ones. She is often pretending to be someone else in order to play tricks on not just<br />

<strong>the</strong> Humans but also <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r pouques. In this picture she made a fea<strong>the</strong>r duster to keep<br />

<strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r pouques two metres away from her, but she helped herself to <strong>the</strong> cockerel’s tail<br />

fea<strong>the</strong>rs whilst he was asleep; he was not pleased!<br />


Deputy Trott plays <strong>the</strong> Tio de Nadal<br />

The Tio de Nadal is <strong>the</strong> Christmas pooping log. Young children feed <strong>the</strong> log during December.<br />

On Christmas Day, little Tió is put into <strong>the</strong> fireplace <strong>and</strong> ordered to defecate. The fire part of<br />

this tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was since many modern homes do not<br />

have a fireplace. In modern day, to make it defecate, little Tió is beaten with sticks by merry,<br />

singing children. If <strong>the</strong>y have been good, he poops sweets for <strong>the</strong>m.<br />


Deputy Vermeulen has really got into character as a Scottish Haggis<br />

There are two species of Haggis, Lowl<strong>and</strong> <strong>and</strong> Highl<strong>and</strong>. This is a Lowl<strong>and</strong> Haggis – you can<br />

tell as <strong>the</strong> legs are <strong>the</strong> same size. The Highl<strong>and</strong> Haggis has legs of different length so that<br />

<strong>the</strong>y can walk around <strong>the</strong> hills more easily.<br />


Deputy Taylor plays that naughty bunny, Peter Rabbit<br />

Peter lives up in Cumbria <strong>and</strong> his rise to fame occurred in <strong>the</strong> Victorian age when a kindly<br />

woman, Beatrix Potter, interviewed him <strong>and</strong> write stories for children telling <strong>the</strong>m all about<br />

Peter’s adventures. Peter has a penchant for lettuce. When he eats it, it has a soporific effect<br />

on him, <strong>and</strong> he falls asleep when he really should be alert. This, <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong> fact that he is<br />

always trying to help himself to <strong>the</strong> contents of <strong>the</strong> vegetable garden, often gets him into<br />

trouble.<br />


Deputies Leadbetter, Helyer, Mahony <strong>and</strong> Haskins make a<br />

majestic sight towering over us at <strong>the</strong> top of <strong>the</strong> cliffs<br />

playing <strong>the</strong> presidents.<br />

Representing important events <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>mes in US history, Presidents George Washington,<br />

Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, <strong>and</strong> Theodore Roosevelt were selected to be carved in<br />

<strong>the</strong> hills of Rushmore national park. Each face is approximately 60 feet in height <strong>and</strong> with<br />

noses longer than 20 feet. Their mouths are also about 18 feet wide. These deputies are<br />

obviously destined for a very important part in <strong>the</strong> panto.<br />


Deputies McKenna, Prow <strong>and</strong> Mat<strong>the</strong>ws are playing <strong>the</strong><br />

isl<strong>and</strong> fairy folk, <strong>the</strong> naughty pouques.<br />

They have joined P’tite Jeanne pouque <strong>and</strong> her Majesty in sailing across back from <strong>the</strong> Isle of<br />

Man where <strong>the</strong>y went for Tynwald day, pretending to be historic Viking invaders. Aurigny<br />

was full because <strong>the</strong> air bridge was so popular, so <strong>the</strong>y found ano<strong>the</strong>r way to get home. They<br />

were all seasick because <strong>the</strong>y didn't check <strong>the</strong> wea<strong>the</strong>r forecast first <strong>and</strong> sailed into some<br />

rough times. Luckily <strong>the</strong> Queen knew what she was doing <strong>and</strong> took over <strong>the</strong> navigation, so<br />

<strong>the</strong>y did eventually arrive at <strong>the</strong>ir destination.<br />


And finally…….. here <strong>the</strong>y all are decorating <strong>the</strong> wassailing tree.<br />

Well, children, I can't wait for <strong>the</strong> panto. The pouques have all year to write it <strong>and</strong> I hope it<br />

will be ready for release next Christmas.<br />

http://www.pouques.gg<br />

@Guernseypouque<br />


Hooray! Your file is uploaded and ready to be published.

Saved successfully!

Ooh no, something went wrong!