The Outside Room by Tom Retchford

The Outside Room
Tom Retchford

The Outside Room
Tom Retchford

5. The side-walk surfer
7. Everywhere fences
9. The power of the pencil
11. Me and my family
12. The greatest applause
13. The outside room
15. Empty hands
16. But I'm just a human being
18. The bubble
20. Decluttering
22. The crying
23. The last stretch
25. Gates open

The side-walk surfer
Side-walk surfing is similar to regular sea surfing
Except you’re not on a turbulent flow of water, that’s moving
You have feet on hard ground, that create a rolling sound so
awesomely real
There’s nothing to describe how wonderful and free side-walk
surfing feels.
Feet can be used for a multitude of many things
Walking, running as well as twisting and turning, a perfect
component for side-walk surf-ing
Your feet develop their own minds, their own thoughts
My moves are done on auto pilot, they never needed to be taught.
I like surfing through the parks in the town and city
Every day I see so many people in vast quantity
I like to surf through empty quarries and building sites
Where mortar is laid out and where diggers gaping mouths bite.
I surf along path railings, empty public benches and seats
Down through the town, along the quiet and deserted streets
I like to surf on disintegrating ancient and rusty shipwrecks,
beyond reaches
These can be found round the corner, away from public beaches.
I surf amongst the cliff tops, with the roaring sea below
Watching the waves crashing and white horses dancing below
5

I surf through old castle and ancient historical ruins that once
held thrones
It’s all just crumbled into jigsaw-like pieces, piles and clumps of
rocks and stones.
I surf along roofs on small buildings looking down on people’s
heads
Watching for a brief moment, their lives that are being led
I surf through stadiums, that are devoid of any fans to look
and see
But I am my own audience and that’s good enough for me.
I go everywhere I can and am able to go
Out with my board, I now have many places to present my show
The buzz is when you are in the air, for a second gravity is
non-existent
Before the abrupt drop to the ground, for my ending stunt.
6

Everywhere fences
We always see fences but it is only that now we truly see
Their intentions of existence, what they are meant to be
They are barriers are they not? Or is that something else we
haven’t considered
Fences have looked rather worse during this period, often unique
and absurd.
Having to look at fences, gates and bars
At the homes of relatives, friends and neighbours from a
distance afar
Being able to talk to them only but not get close, the fence is
always there
There’s nowhere to turn to or escape, for there’s fences
everywhere.
Every street we walk down you have to create that invisible fence
Walking past people from a two metre distance
It’s felt unnatural to stand away from loved ones you want to
tenderly touch
You know it’s for the greater good, yet the pain can hurt so much.
Quiet and unnatural, there are fences everywhere in some shape
or form
Nowhere near to what we would usually see in contrast to
the norm
School gates are firmly bolted, as well as barriers and tape around
play areas in parks
7

There are fences around more than ever, as a reminder to stay
safe and it feels stark.
We need fences of course, for the benefit of us all
The ugliness of the spikes on railings and gates, along with blank
screens and walls
Protection and shielding, from an invisible threat
Footmarks painted on floor areas in public places that are
sternly set.
Hand sanitiser, masks and gloves are all the typical guards
and tools
But fences are there also, to ensure that we must comply with the
strict rules
It’s all been the same in every region right across the country
Fences are the guards who stand as a safe-guarding sentry.
You can only hope but you also have to do the right thing
It’s our role in this and from the same hymn book we must sing
Everyone has to keep up the effort, everyone must continue
to abide
It will only get better sooner if we stay where we should, on our
designated side.
8

The power of the pencil
A small instrument of graphite or lead
That bears a sharp and pointy head
Has the gift of composing something extraordinary and filled
with essence
To provide many people, hours of creative indulgence.
There is nothing else quite as spectacular as the power of
the pencil
An ordinary object found anywhere, such as in a pot on a
window sill
On a desk that’s laden with jumbled up papers and sheets
Or perfectly placed on a desk, fixed straight and neat.
Maybe it’s in a drawer with many other random objects such as
receipts and wool
Or in a stationary set that is daily taken to school
This instrument, seemingly small and slight
By your hand can conjure up an image that can portray a
noble sight.
A doodle, a scribble on the back of an envelope that once had
a letter
It was white and blank, devoid of life before, but now it
looks better
Perhaps you’re crafting a graph, building design layout or chart
Or a comical picture of an arrow piercing through a heart.
9

A pencil creates more than just a picture
It articulates an embellishing and relishing feature
No one in the world can ever be banned from using a pencil
There’s always plenty of blank spaces for anyone to fill.
Big or small, long or short
Decipherable to the eye or not, the image is still caught
Bringing pleasure and laughter as well as sorrow and grief
From the image of a roaring dinosaur to a weeping willow leaf.
Never underestimate yourself, as you pick up a pencil
Especially if you have not much on and plenty of time to kill
Savour the process and enjoy the moment that is unfolding
Then look with pride at your unique result, which you are
now beholding.
10

Me and my family
Hope just lives on as in love and peace
In troubled times when we beg the awful times here to cease
The images of the angels in blue, shields on their faces and masks
For them we must stay at home, that’s what the government asks.
The future is tomorrow or just the end of the day
My other relatives of whom I must stay away
Me and my family are together, it’s the way it shall always be
The time will come when there’s no limit on people who we
may see.
Me and my family don’t stop living in the face of adversity
We do not succumb to the curse of self-pity
Positives vibes should be kept up, we must do all we possibly can
The rules shall ease sometime, they will lift the
non-socialising ban.
We’ll all be there together once again
Meeting and greeting it’s just a case of you don’t know when
Don’t focus too hard on the future, what will come we will face
alongside one another
Me and my family, a strong unit, a ship that will sail through the
stormiest weather.
11

The greatest applause
On a Thursday evening, there are many pairs of hands that raise
At 8 pm we all would stand outside and give praise
A sense of joy with a beautiful cacophony of claps and cheers
To thank the NHS for all their hard work, in the biggest medical
crisis in years.
No greater applause could ever be made
When so many of them must be awfully tired and afraid
They move through those hospital doors, and put on their PPE
Working to save lives, and improve the future for the likes of you
and me.
Soldiers to war and a symbol of strength, courage and will
Tenderly caring the vulnerable and the critically ill
Unconditional love and support is the most powerful medication
Thank you NHS workers, you deserve so much recognition.
12

The outside room
Take a look at the trees in my new living room that are now
my curtains
They may or may not shut out the light, I am not entirely certain
My living room floor is covered in green vibrant grass in this warm
and dry spring
This is something that I do console that helps me through this
terrible thing.
I enjoy being in the open air and instead of on my TV with the
same old news
I would rather be in this glorious and prosperous park with its
natural and innocent views
The play area is closed off, and I see some runners and dog
walkers every day
I’ve got the pond to stare into, watching the fish move in unison
and play.
I’ve got so much space, there may be fences that are on the
park perimeter
They are just there for signifying the park’s position that does
not matter
It’s April and the Easter holidays shall be here very soon
But there’ll be no Easter egg hunt in public or in parties, just
households in cocoon.
It’s good to find a place where you can come and just feel at ease
Where the tension builds now and then I come here for the
energy to release
13

My outside room where I could sit for many wonderful hours
on end
Reading my book, taking a look at the park that gives as much
comfort as a caring friend.
I do love my home so much, for of course it can’t be denied
And I am so lucky, I just relish being outside
We are not meant to sit indoors all the time, we need to have
some fresh air upon our face
And as I can’t hug anyone outside my home, this park is my friend
who I eagerly embrace.
14

Empty hands
These are hands of people walking down the street
Unable to hold the person they wish to meet
Only talking from two metres and it is just not enough
Empty hands, who ever knew that it would be this tough?
Comforting hands that should lie flat out on the back of a person
As you lovingly hug a relative such as your daughter or son
Hands that should be kissed or gently touching one’s face
They must be kept back to acknowledge the required but
undesired space.
We have always taken our hands for granted every day
How we constantly use them in such a variety of ways
And now our hands are empty, where we want to hold our loved
ones or embrace
But it simply can’t be done, there’s always the chance of there
being a mere Covid trace.
15

But I'm just a human being
I don’t feel part of anything any-more
Seems I have forgotten life from what it was before
I don’t know when and if it shall return
How overnight everything seemed to crash and burn.
Human beings need safe places in our lives to help us through
Amidst this Pandemic that has most certainly been true
I have been upset, distressed, although I do hide it brilliantly well
But I’m just a human being, and I feel I am living in hell.
I know this is the picture in everyone’s desperate mind
This disaster will pass and shall be a horrid memory left behind
With all the people lost, and the bitter cost of everything that we
have had to endure
Longing so eagerly for an arrival of the miracle cure.
Even if it does materialise, it won’t mean everyone shall be alright
Families have still had ones they love, taken into the forever night
I feel all the woes and chaos come crashing down upon me
I could lie and say I am alright, but I am just a human being
you see.
Doubt has its role and anxiety eats away at my heart
With this recovery, I really don’t know where to even start
16

What is the light at the end of the tunnel? Am I blind for I can’t
comprehend
How all this is suddenly just going to magically end.
The government change their minds so much, I’ve lost touch of
it all
The one thing that they proclaim with the Furlough scheme is the
economy fall
The emotions that people like me have been shattered into a
million fragments
For I’m just a human being, and I live in bitter strain and torment.
So don’t think it weird if you see someone like me falling to my feet
Bursting into tears, or screaming in the middle of street
It can come in a wave, overwhelms you from within
It spews out like the rubbish in an overflowing bin.
But I’m just a human being for we all are are we not?
You have to consider all the things that have happened and where
we have got
How it can get better, for it does and light shines like a beacon
of hope
But I’m just a human being, and we all need some way to cope.
17

The bubble
Family members who’ve been apart and have felt so alone
Isolated, only speaking to their close ones virtually or on a
mobile phone
Lacking physical contact in comfort to give them reassurance
The temperature in loneliness is heat that’s too intense.
Now at last, the bubble has been put into place
Of which two households can finally meet each other face to face
Mix with each other, hug one another, finally at long last
Re-create light in homes of the lonely that the Coronavirus
had cast.
Eating together, playing games, going out and about
Distancing and mask wearing is not needed so they can
go without
There’s been malnourishment of company, but love can’t be
taken away
Family members had been eagerly yearning for this special day.
They must, of course still stay safely concealed
Into their protective and invisible shield
The guard must be kept up, for as good as this is for everyone
There’s still strict rules, this thing is far from over or done.
So, as they relish the blissful environment of each other’s
household
18

With relatives, close friends from the young to the old
It must be stated that don’t get carried away
The safety zone in the bubble is where you must stay.
Enjoy the bubble company and think when the pin can cause the
bubble to disintegrate
Allowing to see and spend time with an unlimited amount of
relatives and mates
How good that will feel with the return to normal socialising which
we love so much
Having a bubble is great, but it will be even better when it doesn’t
matter who we touch.
19

Decluttering
It's time to declutter the home, I cringe and moan
Pursuing this very hard task that lies ahead
Going through all manner of things, of memories they'll bring
Me and my wife, will cry until our eyes our red.
All the kids books and toys, from our girl and our boy
Mr men to Little miss collections
What shall we give away? Can’t any of it stay?
In earnest hope, maybe for the grandchildren?
The Thomas Tank engine trains, I am racking my brains
But I must ignore the nagging voice of Empty Nest Syndrome
Time moves by in a flash, and in amongst this stash
I feel the passing sweet embers of a nostalgic family home.
The bags start to fill, as do my eyes with tears that soon spill
As I retrieve another box followed by another
The ‘to be donated’ pile builds up, my emotional heart swells up
When I think of those years where the kids played with these
together.
The bags are laden and heavy with stock, a child’s toy going
‘tick tock’
We're loading up the car, it’s going to the local charity bank
20

A huge part of our lives dropped, into the huge metal unit
they’re plopped
I feel drained, an empty desolate tank.
The attic has never looked so bare, we’ve cleaned out each speck
of dust and hair
It rather resembles my heart I suppose that has so much
empty space
In these times when we can’t see others, and can’t be together
It just shows how life quickly goes from one generation to the next
in the human race.
21

The crying
The persistent tears that forever fall
A profused flowing of turbulent sobs, a mini Angel Falls
The grief, the stress, the scare and the hurt
The anger, the sorrow from horror, blood and dirt.
Crying can be an articulation of happiness
Complete contrast to apparent morbid distress
It can be the sign of relief from the pain that has ceased
The worst of the storm has at long last eased.
Crying is an action that stands out when in the public domain
You can’t help being a little intrigued, but it’s usually only in vain
We carry on for we must, the sufferer suffers in the pit of
their despair
Living with the crying, living in permanent grief or dis-pleasure, it
is just not fair.
22

The last stretch
Bringing home what we had once before
These times that we have lived through and sincerely deplore
Everything has come at a price, for lives more than money
and finance
In a world we used to take everything for granted, without even a
second glance.
We were in the bubble already, it was just the way it was before
this was aflame
And in a sort of bizarre way, perhaps some of us should hold a
little bit of shame
Where people have flouted, but many such as myself have
thought outside of our hives
And taken into account how this has effected many other
people’s lives.
The last stretch along the marathon track that we wish to see
in sight
Knowing how we can see the end to the nightmare, the bitter
battle and the fearful fight
Looking at the walls, fences and the gates that are locked
Vast queues in those early days at the supermarkets with people
gridlocked.
Freedom has been sort of returning but when it is much less
restrictive no one knows
23

Hard work and good effort in communities, continuity and effort
most certainly shows
The long drive, which seems to be longer rather than shorter than
we hoped
But many of us during this chaos have managed to find a way
through and have coped
Are we sub-divided? Are we all placed in our own setting?
Everyone always moans and groans of the hardness of life but
they are forgetting
We only think it’s worse than it is, because our minds run away
And on the home stretch, we feel there won’t be a finish day.
We are making it through this and it gives us more strength
Hanging there with every step and the track that’s a very
large length
This is the last stretch and we are nearly there
Take a look around you and take in the glorious light everywhere.
24

Gates open
The key has been found at last! To unlock and release
Finally the torture of enduring the restrictions can now cease
When were those gates last opened? It seems it was much too
long ago
Back then, before it all started who would have been able
to know?
That these gates would be locked up and fastened up tight as
a belt
No words of any description could portray how it has truly felt
Looking out of the gates, waiting for the key to appear and unlock
Whilst living in this horrible period of challenge, sadness
and shock.
What was normal before? And is it to be the same again?
They kept saying that it would be over soon and we all kept
asking when?
But now that this glorious moment has arrived and we have
survived, we can regenerate
Now is the time to keep up the good work, to pass through those
forever opened gates.
25

This book was published during Tom’s residency at Falmouth
Art Gallery, many of the poems were written during the
Covid-19 Pandemic of 2020. This project has been possible
due to funding from Arts Council England in collaboration
with Cornwall Museum Partnership.
Text and images © Tom Retchford 2021