Focus on the Family Magazine - April/May 2022

HACKS & FACTS / CONVERSATIONS
discussion-starter photos
I’ve found that flipping through a photo album with my kids sparks
great conversations. The often awkward or goofy photos of our
younger years prompt lots of questions from my kids, and I turn
those questions into stories that I share about different stages of
my life. I can handle my kids laughing at some of my awkward
teen year photos if it helps me talk with my kids about peer pressure
and fitting in. The photos are discussion starters. My kids
don’t ever feel like our conversation is scripted or unnatural.
—Jared Hottenstein
moving blues
Earlier this year, some family friends moved away. My daughter
was best friends with one of their children, so I knew it would be
hard on her. For a while, she stood strong and pretended as if it
didn’t bother her. Finally, one night when I was tucking her in, I
told her that I was feeling sad about the move. She looked at me,
and her eyes filled with tears as she admitted her own grief about
their move. By leading the way in showing my own vulnerability,
I gave my daughter a safe opening to do the same, and it paved
the way for a healing conversation about change.
—Elizabeth James
well-timed
connections
My husband’s approach to
encouraging deep conversations
with our daughter is to do a focused
activity of interest with her. From
there, the conversation usually
blossoms naturally. When my
husband carves out time to take
her fishing, our daughter bubbles
over with words. This has proven
very helpful in strengthening their
relationship.
Bedtime can also be a great time
for me to foster conversations. As a
family we share why we are thankful,
and sometimes those statements
can lead to deeper discussions.
With a few well-timed questions or
comments, our daughter can be
very reflective in the evenings, so
I use this time as an opportunity to
reconnect with her.
—Lisa Johnson
‘CAN WE TALK?’
Deep conversations at our house often
start with an apology: “I’m sorry I hurt
your feelings,” or “I didn’t respond to you
well earlier. Will you give me another
chance? I want to hear what you have to
say.” Then, when my child trusts enough
to open up, I’ll hear a soft, late-night
knock on my bedroom door followed
by, “Mom, are you awake. Can we talk?”
Then I’ll hold back the temptation to
pour out all my motherly wisdom, and
I’ll just listen.
—Jennifer Henn
© IVAN GENER / STOCKSY UNITED
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
APRIL / MAY 2022