Freshers issue AMENDED VERSION FINAL

scan.lancastersu.co.uk

S C

SCANLU

A

SCANLancaster

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1

STUDENT COMMENT AND NEWS

Established since 1967 Week 1 2022

IS THE STUDENTS’

UNION ENTERING

A NEW ERA?

INSIDE:

Spotlight on

Lancaster Societies

Here at Lancaster, there is something for everyone.

From sport to films, games to politics, a group of

likeminded people are never too far away.

Find a complete list of every Lancaster society.

SEE PAGE 6 FOR FULL ARTICLE

GRANT INCREASE

Tabitha Lambie | NEWS

INVESTIGATIVE EDITOR

Since 2020, the security of the

University Block Grant given to

Lancaster Students’ Union has been

uncertain.

However, after a successful bid saw

over £400k added to this year’s block

grant, is the Union entering a new era

of financial stability?

In 2020, due to financial constraints,

Lancaster Students’ Union announced

that netball and football C teams as

well as recreational

s p o r t

development

teams w e r e

going to

be

£400K BLOCK

suspended. This was met with criticism

from the student body and, eventually,

a petition coined ‘Save College And

Rec Sport’ was published on the 24th

March that year. This petition claimed

the decision was “to the detriment of

current and future students, and their

mental and physical wellbeing.”

Receiving 1,326 votes, the petition

reversed the decision and prompted

Atree Ghosh, 2020/21 VP Union

Development, to put forward a paper

titled ‘Campaign For An Increase

In Our Annual Block Grant From

Lancaster University’ to the Executive

Committee.

The paper was

approved on the

14th July and the Students’ Union

began to “actively lobby the university

and campaign budget for a substantial

increase in the block grant given to

Lancaster University Students’ Union,

without reducing grants or funding

given for any other student union led

activity, campaign or role.”

Despite the approval of Ghosh’s paper,

the university announced a potential

£288k cut from the Students’ Union

block grant later that month – reducing

the grant by 33%. This was the first time

the block grant had been threatened

since 2016 when the University and

Union mutually agreed to freeze block

grant funding for three years.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

3 Landlord

Horror

Stories From

Lancaster

Students

SEE PAGE 5

Your Guide to

Long-Distance

Relationships

at Uni

SEE PAGE 9

Creative

Writing

Competition

Results

Revealed

SEE PAGE 25

Get 15% off all orders at

Lancaster University

Sultans in October

when you show a

copy of SCAN at

the counter!

NOTABLE CONTRIBUTORS THIS ISSUE

TABITHA LAMBIE • ELIZABETH TRAIN-BROWN • WILL DOE • AMI CLEMENT

A Letter From The Editor

CONTENTS

News

Comment

Arts &

Culture

Music

Screen

Lifestyle

Creative

Writing

Sports

1-6

8-9

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Ami Clement

scan.editor@lancastersu.co.uk

ASSOCIATE EDITORS

Maria Hill & Amy Brook

scan.associateeditor@lancastersu.co.uk

scan.artsassociate@lancastersu.co.uk

ONLINE EDITOR

Will Henderson

scan.associateonlineeditor@lancastersu.co.uk

NEWS EDITOR

John Whittaker & Oliver Truman

scan.news@lancastersu.co.uk

COMMENT EDITOR

Daniel Tham

scan.comment@lancastersu.co.uk

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR

Caitlyn Taft & Jess Hasson

scan.arts@lancastersu.co.uk

MUSIC EDITOR

Will Doe & Megan Hargeaves

scan.music@lancastersu.co.uk

SCREEN EDITOR

James Wilson

scan.screen@lancastersu.co.uk

LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Alex Oswald & Harriet Shillito

scan.lifestyle@lancastersu.co.uk

CREATIVE WRITING TEAM

Amelia Daniels & Sky Fong

scan.creativewriting@lancastersu.co.uk

SPORT EDITOR

Tom Jeffreys & Josh Perrett

scan.sport@lancastersu.co.uk

MEDIA & PUBLICITY OFFICER

Charlie Coleman

DESIGN MANAGER

Elizabeth Train-Brown

10-15

16-17

18-19

20-24

25-27

29-31

The Editorial Committee above is responsible for

all content and production of SCAN. Compliments,

comments and complaints to be addressed to

Editor in Chief in the fi rst instance. VP Societies &

Media, Danny Goodwin, is responsible for all legal

matters and signifi cant reputational harm and can be

contacted at su.vp.societiesandmedia@lancaster.

ac.uk.

(Printed by Mortons)

First of all, I would like to welcome all the

Freshers to Lancaster! Moving to university is

a big step, anyone will agree, but it’s definitely

worth it.

At SCAN, we want to help

you adjust to independent

student life.

always anticipated. Instead, in my second year,

after a year living on-campus, I was just as new to

Lancaster as those moving in as first-years.

My freshers week was made up of COVID tests,

hunting for free masks at porters lodges, and

waiting to hear which flats in my building were

isolating (and sure, the occasional party scandal).

Not only am I excited to experience my first

Freshers Week (as a final year student. Eek!), but

I can’t wait to see Lancaster buzzing with its first

proper Freshers Week since 2019.

To commemorate the occasion, SCAN has been

furiously hard at work to bring you this Freshers

issue.

Over summer, I opened up

my house to SCAN’s editorial

team for the first ever SCAN

Camp.

(Affectionately referred to as SCANp.)

We wrote articles, edited work, created graphics,

ran socials, craft events and so much more to make

sure that this issue had everything we wanted to

help our readers adapt to Lancaster and university

life.

I had an amazing time spacing out constant article

output with painting mini birdhouses and bunting

for the SCAN office.

As this is my first edition as Editor-in-Chief, I

would like to thank my predecessor, Tabi Lambie.

They gave an excellent handover and have always

being there throughout the process, alongside

former Associate Editor, Elizabeth Train-Brown,

and current Music Editor, Will Doe. All three have

dedicated so much time and effort to SCAN.

With late night baking

sessions, 12-hour formatting

shifts, and the strangest

playlist accompanying all of it,

I am so grateful for the time

and care Tabi, Beth, and Will

have dedicated to me and to

this issue.

I’m so excited for the year to come running SCAN

and to meet all of our new writers.

We have a full and strong senior editorial team

going in to the 2022/2023 academic year, with a

newly appointed Welfare Officer and so many plans

we’re struggling to fit them all in the calendar!

Join the team by messaging us on

Instagram @SCANLancaster

or email me at

scan.editor@lancastersu.co.uk.

As a fresher in 2020, I didn’t get to experience

anything close to the Freshers Week I had

Ami Clement (@AmiClement)

Uni News at a Glance

Lancs Uni

Drops to 14th

in University

Rankings

Lancaster University has averaged

comfortably towards the top of

university league tables in recent

history.

Peaking at 7th (Guardian University

Guide) in 2020, Lancaster has

experienced a decline with 2023

being a continuation of Lancaster’s

time outside of the top 10, scoring

14th, down one from its 13th

position in 2022.

Lancaster’s 2023 performance

however has made it the highestranked

institution in the North West.

Internationally, Lancaster has

retained its high standing at 146th

(QS World University Rankings) and

122nd (Times Higher Education

World University Rankings) out of

1,000 universities worldwide.

Individual subjects too

performed well in 2023,

retaining coveted

top 10 positions in

key strength areas

including Linguistics

and several languages,

Physics, Art and Design,

Communications and

Media Studies, and Creative

Writing.

Literary

Festival

Comes to

Campus

The bi-annual Literature Festival is

back from 6-12th October, with their

closing event this year on campus.

On Wednesday 12th, 5-7PM,

students and the public alike,

are invited to poetry readings

from Lancaster University’s own

published poets and lecturers Paul

Farley and Eoghan Walls.

They’re also joined by final-year

student, Elizabeth Train-Brown,

who this September published her

debut collection with Renard Press.

Broaden your literary horizons with

a visit to the heavily discounted

poetry bookstall Attendees can sign

up for the open mic and share their

own work.

Get

your

tickets

at

litfest.org.

Gregson

Offers Free

Student

Membership

Located just a short

walk from town,

The Gregson

Community

& Arts

Centre

is now

offering all

Lancaster

University

students a

free student

membership.

This will grant

students free bookings in

the Gregson’s Secret Cinema, 50% off

room hire (perfect for society socials

to escape campus), and 15% off at

the bar. Remember to bring your

library card!

Valid until the end of March, The

Gregson has plenty of cosy space,

work room, and even hosts live

music. A perfect find for anyone

starting a band or looking to join

one of our fantastic Music societies

on campus.

Visit: gregson.co.uk.

More on p.14.

Sport

Lancaster

Announces

Big Membership

Changes

Sport Lancaster announces

that fitness classes will

now be included in all

gym memberships.

Previously, this

was exclusive

for Platinum

memberships

but now includes

Bronze, Silver,

and Gold with the

Platinum category

scrapped.

Classes on offer include Judo,

Yoga, Indoor Cycling, Body Combat

and more.

Bronze £129 per year

Gym, pool, and classes. Only available at

off-peak times: Monday to Friday 7AM–

12PM and 2PM–4PM, and weekends.

Silver £260 per year

Any time access to gym, pool, and classes.

Also includes access to the sauna and

steam room.

Gold £323 per year

Anytime access to all facilities. Includes

free squash, badminton, short tennis,

table tennis, climbing, and outdoor

activities. Also incuded is free equipment

hire.

scan.lancastersu.co.uk SCANLU

SCANLancaster

3

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

REVEALED: Successful Bid Sees

£400k Increase

in Lancaster Students’ Union Block Grant

Tabitha Lambie


In an article published by the 2020/21 FTO

team, the potential effects of this decision on the

“student experience” was highlighted.

The article noted the reduction would affect

everything from “sports clubs and societies;

Academic Reps; JCRs and PG Board; student

campaigning; the Advice Service; Welcome

Week; the salaries of student staff, full-time staff,

and FTOs; and so much more that forms your

student experience.”

“With the ongoing

Pandemic, our commercial

services are facing

unprecedented risks and

a significant reduction in

their net profit.

“Combined with the

University’s suggested cut

in the block grant of £288k

leaves us in an extremely

uncomfortable position as

an SU.”

FTO team explained

Two months later, the FTO team issued a block

grant update stating that “following the release

of our original article, discussing the possible

impact of the cut, and successful negotiations

between the Students’ Union and the University

taking place, the University has confirmed a 15%

cut to the block grant for the coming year.”

This was a drastic improvement from the original

33%, however it still meant less income would

be gifted to the main charity fund areas like

societies, JCRs, and Advice.

Thankfully, the following year, the University

block grant returned to £871,750.

Looking forward to the 2022/23 academic year, a

Freedom of Information (FOI) request issued by

SCAN: Student Comment and News has revealed

that this year’s block grant received a £403,625

increase (excluding £50k dependent on in-year

delivery).

This is the first substantial

increase in the University’s

block grant since 2016.


has said, “This year’s

funding to the

Students’ Union

reflects an increase

to allow the Union

to plan for activities

which previously

were bid annually.

“Additional

recurrent funding

[has been given]

to support events

for students after a

successful bid to the

University Planning and

Resources Group and an

increase for inflation and

increased core services post-

Pandemic.”

Delighted by the £403,625 increase “to support

events for students,” Lancaster Students’ Union

has said:

“We are very grateful to Lancaster University

for the increased block grant that has been

announced.

“This allows us to plan

further increased activities

and support for students

post-Pandemic after a

successful bid to the

University Planning and

Resources Group. It also

reflects an increase

for inflation.”

The Students’ Union

went on to say that

“this support from

the University

will make a real

difference to

the support

and services

we can

provide for

our members

this coming

year.”

However, since

this statement

was released,

new information

has come to light

regarding the terms

and conditions of the

Union’s successful bid to

the University Planning and

Resources Group.

Although the University did assert that this year’s

funding “reflects an increase to allow the Union

to plan for activities which previously were bid

annually,” it failed to declare that due to the

increase, no additional bids could be made for

the rest of the 2022/23 academic year.

Callum Slater, VP Union

Development, has now

confirmed that the block

grant increase came with

the condition that “further

bids are not made for

additional funding.”

Slater explained that, in recent years, due to the

Union not having “sufficient resource to fund

some of the vital services and events” such as

Extravs, “unique case-by-case basis requests

were made to the University for additional

funding.”

Slater highlighted that these were “not routine,

standard bids.”

With the Union now unable to make these

“case-by-case requests,” Slater confirmed that in

real terms, the Union “does not have additional

resources on last year to deliver more activity or

increase budgets.”

This contradicts the

Union’s previous

statement.

With the annual report and financial statements

for the year ended in July 2022 yet to be approved

by the Trustee Board, SCAN’s investigation into

the Students’ Union block grant will remain

active.

Credit: Lancaster Students’ Union

Front page story photo credit: Clem Rutter via Wikimedia Commons

4 SCANLU

SCANLancaster scan.lancastersu.co.uk

N E W S

NEWS EDITOR:

John Whittaker &

Oliver Truman

GLOW Nightclub

Rebranded As ‘Vibe’

John Whittaker

NEWS EDITOR

and Avinash Nandwani told the local newspaper

that their aim for the nightclub is:

active private limited company, incorporated on

the 22nd August.

Vibe Nightclub & Bar, formerly known as

GLOW, aims to open its doors to the general

public on 10th October – a week after

Lancaster University’s Freshers Week.

Lancashire Police were called shortly after an

incident at about 04:30 BST on Sunday 12th June

outside GLOW nightclub, following a report that

a man had been punched.

Joshua Hughes was allegedly “assaulted” outside

the nightclub and according to witnesses was

unresponsive at the scene.

Since the incident, a 31-year-old man from Leigh

has been arrested on suspicion of Section 18

assault but was released on bail pending further

enquiries.

A woman who was believed to have had an

“interaction” with one or more members of

a group, which included Hughes, inside the

club earlier that evening was also identified.

DCI Jane Webb, of the Force Major

Investigation Team, said:

“This incident has

resulted in a young

man losing his life and

my thoughts are with

his loved ones at this

incredibly difficult time.

They continue to be

supported by specially

trained officers.”

Prior to GLOW’s immediate closure, the

University of Cumbria Students’ Union had

been an official sponsor for the club with Skint

Mondays used for student nights.

Days after the tragedy, UCSU made the decision

to “withdraw [the Union’s] involvement with

Glow Rooms at this time” in an official statement.

The University of Cumbria Students’ Union felt

that it was “in the best interests of [the Union’s]

members,” stating that UCSU takes a “zerotolerance

approach to violence of all forms,

including drink spiking and sexual violence.”

Two months later, on the doors of the Mary

Street entrance to the nightclub, the words

‘coming soon’ and ‘under new ownership’ were

plastered in colourful lettering over the existing

graffiti and flower tributes to the late father of

two.

In the last two weeks, more information o n

the new owners and nightclub

plans has been revealed through

an interview conducted by the

Lancaster Guardian.

Local businessmen, Tim

Barbary, Rick Backhouse,

“To provide a fun secure,

and safe environment

for students and young

people alike.”

The trio claimed

that they will

be “making

changes to

how the

c l u b

w a s

r u n

previously”

and will do their

upmost to make it a

“safe venue.”

As well as Vibe Nightclub & Bar, the

new owners also have various other investments

in the local area. Tim Barbary currently owns

several businesses including Morecambe’s

Brittlestar wine bar, while Rick Backhouse owns

Sydney’s restaurant situated on Lancaster High

street.

In light of the recent news regarding the opening

of Vibe Nightclub & Bar, SCAN contacted the

University of Cumbria Students’ Union enquiring

whether UCSU plans to

establish a new

sponsorship

agreement

with the

rebranded club.

A spokesperson from the University of Cumbria

Students’ Union has said:

“ T h e

University

of Cumbria

the opening of a nightclub venue,

Vibe in Lancaster city centre. The

new venue is housed in the same

premises as Glow Rooms which

was closed earlier this year after

the tragic incident in which a young

man sadly lost his life.

“The University of Cumbria Students’ Union

historically had a sponsorship agreement with

Glow Rooms for a student event on Monday

night.

“In the immediate

aftermath of the incident

earlier this year we took

steps which we felt were

in the best interests of our

members and ended that

agreement. This remains

our current position.

“We continue to work with our members

and elected leaders to review local

opportunities with a focus on

student welfare and safety.”

As well as the University of

Cumbria, Lancaster University

Students’ Union previously

took steps in the best interest

of its students, announcing

that they would “no longer

be affiliated with groups who

have any relationship with

GLOW nightclub.”

This came after the Junior

Common Rooms for Fylde,

Bowland, Lonsdale, and

Cartmel colleges posted

statements expressing their

intention to sever ties with

GLOW indefinitely.

Responding to the announcement

of Vibe Nightclub & Bar’s formal

opening, a spokesperson from

Lancaster University Students’ Union

has said:

“We are aware of the

reopening and will monitor

things as they develop.

Our primary concern will

always be the safety of

students and any decision

we take will be based on

that as a priority.”

Vibe Nightclub & Bar has been contacted for

comment.

Set To Open

Furthermore, as of two months ago, all three Students’

owners were Directors of ART Investments

(Lancaster) Limited which is registered as an

Union

aware

is

of

After Freshers Week


SCANLancaster

5

Fake Freshers Tickets

Overtake Lancs Welcome Week

Anti Society

GUEST WRITER

In case you thought

Freshers week wasn’t

eventful enough, firstyear

partygoers are now

at risk of falling victim to

fake tickets on the events

platform, Fatsoma.

In the lead up to the start of

term, a surge of Lancaster

Freshers events have flooded

Fatsoma, with events such

as neon and foam parties

offering sign-up tickets and

wristbands.

Students feel rushed into

getting their hands on

Freshers tickets fast through

Fatsoma to avoid missing

out, bombarded with

advertisements to secure

tickets that are ‘selling out

fast’.

As a second-year student,

I understand that

starting university can be

overwhelming, especially

when it’s not always made

clear what Freshers week

entails.

Unlike some

universities,

Welcome Week

at Lancaster

University is

exclusively

organised by the

Students’ Union.

However, after investigating

the listings on Fatsoma

for Freshers events in

Lancaster, it is important

that new students are aware

of the risks involved when

purchasing unofficial tickets,

as their legitimacy is often

questionable.

It’s hardly reassuring that

listings on Fatsoma often fail

to confirm venues for their

events. Instead, they claim

the venue will be ‘announced

soon’ or the event is set to

be held at only ‘THE BEST

CLUBS’.

This is difficult to believe,

considering Lancaster has

three viable nightclubs: one

not yet open, one student-ran,

and one unable to hold large

events.

As explained in Fatsoma’s

terms and conditions, the

mobile platform is in no way

responsible for the content

uploaded onto its site nor is it

affiliated or endorsed by any

of the events advertised. This

means the legitimacy of the

promoters is unregulated.

In theory, scammers could

sell fraudulent tickets on

the platform and collect the

revenue. It’s then the organisers’

responsibility to process

refunds if an event doesn’t go

ahead, as stated in Fatsoma’s

terms.

But are these Freshers events

ever planning to go ahead to

begin with?

On Trustpilot, Fatsoma’s users

claim that it’s difficult to

receive refunds for cancelled

tickets.

One user

commented that

they had bought

a ticket with a

“refundable”

tag but the

organiser had

refused to

refund the ticket

amount.

Then when the user went

through the refund dispute,

Fatsoma said “they [couldn’t]

do anything.”

So, remember:

– Consider the

location of the event

and if the venue is

legitimate.

– Is the event

affi liated with the

Student’s Union?

– Don’t feel

pressured into buying

tickets if you’re told

they are selling out

fast.

N E W S

UCU Rising:

Will Universities Face

Strikes this December?

Last week, Jo Grady, UCU general secretary accused Bill Galvin, of

walking away with “millions in the bank” whilst many who dedicated

their lives to higher education are set to lose “hundreds of thousands

of pounds from their retirement funds.”

Having issued his resignation on September 28th, Universities Superannuation

Scheme (USS) Chief Executive Bill Galvin will remain in post until a suitable

replacement can be found.

In a press release, Jo Grady noted that Galvin will be remembered as the

“architect of the deeply flawed valuation which was used to destroy the

pension benefits of university staff.”

Bill Galvin’s resignation notice comes weeks after the UCU announced the

launch of its latest campaign, coined UCU Rising. This campaign hopes to

gain better pay and working conditions for university staff across the country.

UCU Rising also hopes to win a nationwide ballot that could see every single

university in the UK hit by industrial action, following an overwhelming vote

in favour of striking last November.

This round of industrial action could see classes cancelled in early December

and staff refusing to work beyond the terms of their contracts.

A major reason for the UCU strikes is that its members believe they have not

received sufficient pay rises in line with inflation since 2009, leaving them

with a real term 25% pay cut.

With the current cost of living crisis – which has seen other unions such as

RMT also take up strike action this summer – in full swing, university staff will

continue to see their income squeezed.

Commenting on its member’s reasoning for industrial action later this year,

UCU has said:

“The truth is that we are not all in this together. While our members have

seen their pay cut by 25% since 2009, university vice-chancellors and senior

management have been collecting six-figure salaries.”

“I’m an actual human, not a cash cow!”

Lancaster Landlord Horror Stories

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

According to Nationwide

Accommodation Service, a

house may be considered

uninhabitable if there

is “a problem with

the supply of hot

and cold water” or

if there is an issue

with drainage and

lavatories.

Equally, if a tenant

is unable to cook

food or wash up after

dining, the property

could be uninhabitable.

To ensure properties, especially

HMOs, are “fit for human habitation” the

government expects landlords to maintain the

property’s structure and exterior, fit smoke

alarms on every floor (carbon monoxide alarms

should also be installed in each room), deal with

any problems with the water, electricity and gas

supply, and carry out most repairs.

If landlords fail to meet these requirements

and the property is deemed not fit for human

habitation, tenants can take them to court under

the 2018 Homes (Fit for Human Habitation) Act

which came into force on the 20th March 2019.

However, despite these measures, landlords

remain highly unregulated with former

Secretary of State for Levelling Up, Housing and

Communities and Minister for Intergovernmental

Relations Michael Grove claimin, “More than 2.8

million of our fellow citizens are paying to live in

homes that are not fit for the 21st century.”

Sadly, this statistic resonates amongst thousands

of students living in the UK, including Lancaster.

During an interview, one student told

SCAN that their landlord left them with

“a broken boiler (no heating, hot water,

or showers) for three weeks.

“In December last year our boiler

started leaking, and we were told

not to use it. At the same time, our

electric shower was broken.

“For three weeks we

were left without hot

water, heating, and

showers. In the middle of

winter. In the North.

“We reported the break right away but it kept

going around in circles between SU Living and

the landlord.”

The broken boiler was first reported to SU Living

on the 29th November. The student was told on

the 5th December that “the landlords had agreed

to fit a whole new boiler” and “once we receive

the date I will update you on the timings of when

it will be fitted.”

Allegedly the new boiler wasn’t installed until

early January.

A second student told SCAN that after “repeatedly

entering our house without our knowledge or

consent,” their landlord “refused for months to

fix a whole wall of damp and mould.”

Allegedly the landlord would also come into the

house and take pictures of things that the tenants

had already reported.

“They would write to us

saying, ‘Our last visit for

meter readings found X

in third bedroom that is

damaged. We are sending

you an invoice for repair.

You have 7 days to pay your

invoice.’

“When we sent an email back saying we reported

that to them already and

we’re not paying,

they’d argue with

us, then drop

the matter,

and the

t h i n g

w o u l d

remain

broken.”

The student

claimed the

condition of the

house became so

bad, they were forced

to get the Homes and Communities Agency

involved.

A third student, living in Bowerham last year, told

SCAN that after having to “pull out of my initial

contract for personal reasons” the landlord

“locked the bedroom door to my belongings so

no one could access it, holding my belonging to

ransom while demanding over £5k for a house I

never lived in.

“I’d been storing my things there over summer –

and had paid summer storage fees which were

a staggering £129 per week. When I told the

landlord, at first he was fine with it and just asked

me to find a replacement which I was already in

the process of doing.

“Then, he started asking for the rest

of the rent. This was still before the

contract even started. First of all,

he demanded the first term’s rent

and said he was doing me a ‘good

deal’. Then, when I refused, he

demanded the entire year’s

rent.”

Allegedly, it was only through

reports to the council and

“threatening to get the police

involved” that the student was

able to get their belongings

back.

“I never bothered

trying for the

deposit. I just wanted

out.”

N E W S

6 SCANLU


Your

Lancaster

Dictionary

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Lancaster is its own little world, which means

if you’re new here, you aren’t going to be as

familiar with the language, so here is your own

personal Lancs Dictionary.

LUSU (loo-soo)

Lancaster University Students’ Union, aka LUSU,

is a union for the uni experience that every

Lancaster student is a part of. They organise

events, manage societies, and own the nightclub

Sugarhouse.

FTO (eff -tee-oh)

Full-Time Officers, aka FTOs, run the students’

union. Each has a role to fulfil in making campus

life better. Check out this year’s team on the

right!

JCR (jay-see-ar)

Junior Common Room, aka JCR, is the student

executive leaders of your college. While the

FTOs work for all students, JCRs work just for

the students of their college.

Norma/n (nor-mah/man)

Before the tiny little tree Norma, there was

Norman, a massive tree that stood in the middle

of the library. Norman died unfortunately after

being overwatered during lockdown. RIP.

BNOC (bee-noc)

Once a year there is a vote for the Biggest Name

On Campus, BNOC, which highlights the names

and faces you see and read everywhere.

Trevs (trevs)

Short for Trevor, the Furness College Bar, this is

the go-to campus spot for pints, board games,

and bar sports.

Crafties (craff -tees)

The Crafty Scholar, a very popular pub in town,

ia perfect for pre drinks when the tunes get

turned up and the disco light comes out. Watch

out for the karaoke!

Sultans (sull-tans)

Find Lancaster’s favourite post-club takeaway

right under Spar in the eatery courtyard. Get on

their Snapchat story for instant clout.

Alex Square (al-ex)

The square in the middle of campus. Find here:

Greggs, the library, the Learning Zone, welfare,

Costa, the Underpass.

Underpass (un-derr-pass)

An underground bus route located under

Alexandra Square. Catch your 100s and 1As

from here, folks.

The Spine (sp-eye-n)

The straight footpath that goes right through

campus. Have a look at one of the maps to spot

it.

Sugar (shu-gah)

Sugarhouse, aka Sugar, is one of three nightclubs

in town except this one is run entirely by LUSU

and only lets in students!

After a year without it, the sugar bus is back,

running directly from Sugarhouse to campus

through the night.

Meet your LUSU

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

(she/her)

su.president@lancaster.ac.uk

• Create a safe and welcoming campus for all

students

• Ensure students aren’t priced out of their

education through the cost of living crisis

• To review the complaints and disciplinary

procedures on campus

(he/him)

su.vp.societiesandmedia@lancaster.ac.uk

• Accessible communication with societies

• Ensure inclusivity and representation

• Be present and involved with societies and

media groups all year

Who are your

Liberation-Campaign Officers

FTOs

(she/her)

su.vp.welfare@lancaster.ac.uk

• Address issues of consent and sexual assault

• Improve campus mental health services

• Focus on safety in town and training

societies to help wider campus welfare

(she/her)

su.vp.sport@lancaster.ac.uk

• Reform exec training plans

• A space for students to express frustrations

• New opportunities for recreational and noncompetitive

levels

(he/him)

su.vp.uniondevelopment@lancaster.ac.uk

• Year-round environmental sustainability

• Support JCR and PG board

• Maintain competent political governance of

finance and commercial student services

For minority students and marginalised communities, the SU has a team of LCOs

supporting you and your time at uni.

Yashaswi Manjarekar (@LUSUInternationalOfficer)

Josh Newsham & Raen Nelson (@LUSULGBTQOfficer)

Rehmat Ullah (@LUSUPGAndMatureStudents)

Cerys Evans (@LUSUDisabilitiesOfficer)

(they/them)

su.vp.education@lancaster.ac.uk

• Support academic reps throughout the year

• Change the extension request process for

multiple deadlines on the same day

• Improve education quality for all courses

Elections for Racial & Ethnic Minority Officer and Women+ Officer are due soon.


SCANLancaster

7

and save with student bus travel

8 SCANLU


C O M M E N T

COMMENT EDITOR:

Daniel Tham

EXCLUSIVE: OnlyLancs’

Official Top 4 Confessions

OnlyLancs

GUEST WRITER

Founded in 2020,

OnlyLancs has

quickly become

the best

confessions

page on

campus,

but which

confessions

have stood the

test of time?

4. #497

Violence on the

Spine

Isolating on campus was a troubling

time for many, with government

guidelines creating an empty

atmosphere for those moving through

campus, heading to queue for the unis

single parcel collection service at the

time - Pendle Parcel, lest we forget.

When in-person teaching returned,

one of the greatest differences I saw

was the traffic along the South Spine.

What was once Autobahn became

total gridlock before my very eyes.

With this drastic inconvenience came

a wave of Spine-related confessions,

with one gaining a significant

response from students:

While the majority of Spine-related

confessions were underwhelming (or

racist), this post definitely resonated

with the OnlyLancs community.

The distaste towards obnoxious

social behaviour, coupled with the

call for casual violence created a

delectable amuse-bouche for

relatable confessions to come.

It’s brilliance meant the post

swiftly became the most

loved on the page and the

first to break 1,000 likes.

3. #631 The

Maltese Fiver

February is a

challenging month for

students of every calibre.

Deadlines popping up

like landmines and FOMO

filling the air like mustard

gas. It truly is the turning

point, where *uni* becomes

UNIVERSITY.

This was felt no greater than one cold

Wednesday, at the midpoint of both

Lent term and the year.

Ironically enough, I went home for the

day and forgot to post this confession

until 3 months after it

was submitted.

O n c e

posted,

s i g h s

o f

desperation

could be felt

beyond the pixels,

and the longing for a budget holiday

washed over both myself and the

entire OnlyLancs community like a

digitisation of warm Maltese air.

2. #659 The Towel

One

Two words to strike fear into

the hearts of Freshers and

graduates alike:

Circuit Laundry.

Whether it’s the

extortionate

p r i c e s ,

inconsistent

wait times, or the

audacity of other

students whose total

disregard for human

decency results in the

dumping of damp clothes on

the floor to free up the machine for

themselves.

However, during these dark

times, there is still light, and that

light came in the form of one man’s

curiosity and admiration:

This

moment

encapsulates

e v e r y t h i n g

OnlyLancs and

the Lancaster

University

s t u d e n t

experience

should be:

taking a

c o m m o n

inconvenience

and creating

a brotherly

bond through

the admiration

of one’s craft.

Truly a prime

example of the

indomitable human

spirit.

1. #611 The

Double Whammy

This may be

BREAKING

NEWS to

t h i s

year’s

freshers but

the greatest

infestation

plaguing our

campus isn’t

rats or even

horny first

years: that

honour goes

to the swarms

of pre-pubescent

boys that wander the

university campus and

beyond.

I see them vaping in the

underpass, BLASTING sus

remixes on the back of the 1A, and

feel them lurking in the shadows as

I make an emergency midnight trip to

Central for chicken nuggets.

Confession #611 perfectly sums up,

with a smorgasbord of verbal abuse,

the frustration felt by myself and the

students that deal with these children

on a daily basis.

I t

was a

great post,

and I was ready to log off for the day.

But then, at 10:54PM, I received the

worst hate comment in the history of

OnlyLancs.

Following a quick story post

explaining the comment, and calling

5,000+ students to my aid, I witnessed

almost 400 comments annihilating

this man until he waved the white flag

in a DM announcing his departure at

around 2AM.

In those 3 hours, the post became

the most liked, and

viewed post of all

time.

As stressful

as it was

to referee

both sides,

it was

certainly

one of

t h o s e

moments

that truly

d e f i n e d

OnlyLancs.

Seeing the

online community

come together against a

common enemy (twice) reaffirmed

OnlyLancs’ place in the university

hierarchy.

Keep posted on the

anonymous goings-on

of Lancaster University

campus with @OnlyLancs on

Instagram, your one-stopshop

for juicy goss.

Credit: @OnlyLancs via Instagram

Less Fuss,

More Bus:

Why Not

To Bring

Your

Car To

University

Amelia Daniels

CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR

For those of us lucky enough to

pass our driving tests around

the big unpleasantness that

was COVID, there is great

temptation to run away to uni,

with your baby blue Fiat 500,

and be that person who has a

car.

But is the freedom of driving

really worth it in Lancaster?

With fuel prices fluctuating more

than your sleep pattern, and

the ridiculous one-way system

around the city centre, having a

car for casual use at university

doesn’t really benefit you as much

as you might have thought.

At first, the idea of driving to the

Lakes or using your car to do

grocery trips sounds like paradise.

However, on campus, unless you

meet the very specific conditions

for keeping a car on campus (and

can afford the cost on top of rent),

you might as well rely on the bus.

As for off-campus, due to the ages

of the housing in Lancaster, most

properties do not have a drive,

and every day you will be fighting

with your neighbours to park

your car 500m from your front

door.

Instead, think about how the bus

or the train can best serve you.

Lancaster has great rail links and

an extensive number of buses

that can get you from Preston

to the Lake District. If you’ve

looked into getting a bus pass

and thought it was too expensive,

remember, if you are using the

bus three times a week or more,

any one of those termly or yearly

passes is worth it.

The Student Railcard has

probably saved me hundreds in

the few years I’ve had it. Whether

you’re just going to Blackpool

with friends, or on a weekend trip

to Manchester, a third-off travel

saves you a lot over time.

Yes, maybe it’s fun to start with to

chauffer your friends around, but

do you really want to be known

as the group’s taxi when you

could leave that job to the taxi

companies of Lancaster?

Besides, let’s not forget about how

much you’ll be reducing on your

carbon footprint!

C O M M E N T


SCANLancaster

9

What Degree

You Should Take

Based On Your

Zodiac Sign

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Like every good magazine, we love a

horoscope. With your time for socialising

and meeting new people only just

beginning, we have a little game to play

with your new-found friends.

Aries Politics

The warrior. Hot-headed and ready for a fight.

Maybe physical battle isn’t your forte but if

it’s an arguement you’re after, you’ve picked

the right person.

Taurus History

The most grounded and level-headed of them

all. You look at the facts and the evidence in

order to paint a full picture.

Gemini Business

The twins. You’re known for your

communication, you can barter and negotiate

your way through any situation, whether that

be an extension or splitting the house chores.

Cancer Psychology

The nurturing one. The mum friend. The one

holding back your friend’s hair as they throw

up outside of Sugar. Maybe it’s time to start

helping their head as well as their heart.

Leo Art

The only real option for the sign known as

‘the creative.’ Express yourself with paint and

colour, who knows, it might make some cool

room decor.

Virgo Computer

Science

The analyst. Whether it’s creating a detailed

work spreadsheet, organising your tins

alphabetically, or making your code as

streamline as can be, Comp Sci was made for

you.

Libra Law

The diplomat. Holding a balance and seeing

both sides of the story, your logical mind and

level-head make practicing Law the perfect fit

for you.

Scorpio Science

The alchemist with a fiery spirit, it’s unfair to

make you choose just one path, so take your

pick from Chemistry to Physics. You’ll find a

fit in one for certain.

Sagittarius Philosophy

An optimist with an eye for exploration,

delve in to the deep questions of ethics and

morality with a Philosophy degree

Capricorn Maths

As ‘The Leader’, it’s only fair you look at the

foundations of our world: Maths. Applicable

to everything and anything, surely the boss

wants to know it all.

Aquarius Languages

Focussed on frienship, a keen humanitarean,

by applying yourself to the study of foreign

languages you have only given yourself more

opportunities to make friends!

Pisces English

We can see your head in the clouds,

daydreaming and desperate to get lost in

something that isn’t work for anything more

than five minutes. Pick yourself up a book.

‘Nothing Beats Hoes At

Home and Hoes at Uni’

Breaking Relationship Stigmas

Tabitha Lambie


A common misconception among

students is that long distance

relationships aren’t possible if you

want the full ‘uni experience’.

This simply isn’t true.

Long distance relationships are

often depicted as a pointless

endeavour. A crusade of love

destined for tears. But not everyone

lives by the hopelessly toxic motto

of ‘nothing beats hoes at home

and hoes at uni’. (Unless you’re in

a loving open relationship then,

please feel free.)

The relentless stigma that long

distance relationships don’t work

is long overdue a debunking,

especially now, with a fresh cohort

of students starting their university

careers.

Now, I’m not saying long distance

relationships are perfect but they

can work. Even if you’re two trains,

three buses, and a twenty-minute

walk apart.

Trust Each Other

The biggest crux of most long

distance relationships is trust, both

in yourself and in your partner.

One of the ultimate tests of this

trust is Freshers Week. Unlike Casa

Amore, if you decide to pursue

someone new, it isn’t as simple as

testing the water.

Unless you both agreed on an open

relationship while dating long

distance, you shouldn’t give your

partner any reason to think you

aren’t being faithful. This doesn’t

mean you need to go out of your

way to signpost that you’re taken.

It means, if someone starts flirting

with you at the club, you don’t

entertain it. It means if someone

asks you out on a date, you refuse.

Nobody expects you

to suddenly become a

troll when you’re in a

relationship,

but if you want your partner to

trust you’re being faithful, you need

to show you aren’t interested in

anyone else.

Keep a Routine

When you arrive at university,

your daily routine will completely

change.

You’ll spend the first two weeks

enjoying the nightlife. Then, once

you’re ready to begin studying,

your routine will change again to

fit around seminars, lectures, work

groups, and independent study.

Suddenly, calling your

partner every evening

without fail has

become a relic of the

past.

So, how do you make your new

routine work for your long distance

relationship? I recommend

downloading NoteIt and Obimy.

NoteIt is a widget app that lets you

handwrite messages and send them

to other people. This is a wonderful

way to send those lovely ‘good

morning’ ‘wuu2 cutie’ and ‘good

night’ messages.

You can even draw pictures to send

to your partner when you inevitably

lose focus in a lecture.

Obimy is an interactive app that

lets you send hugs, kisses, and licks

to your loved ones. This app helps

provide a sense of physical touch

and is a great way to send some love

to your partner when the distance

begins to feel overwhelming.

Equally, regular phone calls or video

calls are still great ways to keep a

good dialogue with your partner.

Even if you’re busy studying, video

calling your partner for some silent

study can make you both feel closer.

Travelling for Love

Most long distance relationships

among students in the UK don’t

extend beyond The Channel,

so it’s usually possible to

travel to see your partner.

Of course, Edinburgh to

Exeter isn’t ideal but it’s

still possible with trains

and coaches making

travel during term time

bearable.

If you live within travel

distance of your partner,

I recommend organising

weekend visits as much

as possible. Even if it’s

just a weekend of cuddles

and popcorn, that time

together will make the

distance much more

tolerable. It also gives

you something to

look forward to

amidst all the

assignments.

If you live

m u c h

f u r t h e r

a w a y ,

t h e n

Christmas and Easter break are

your new best friends.

Christmas lies at the end of the

Michaelmas term, giving students a

break from their studies until early

January. I recommend using this

time to visit your partner. Even if

you still need to study and write

assignments over the festive period,

it’s important to spend some time

with your lover.

Easter provides students with their

second study break, often timed to

coincide with the upcoming exam

season and dissertation madness.

Although this time is often quite

stressful, spending that time with

your partner can ease anxieties and

give you both time to catch up with

one another.

Share Your

Hobbies

Hobbies are important in and

outside a relationship, especially at

university when a work-life balance

is crucial for mental wellbeing.

So, why not explore hobbies

together…but from afar?

In my opinion, the best hobby to

take up as a couple is video games.

Gaming is a great

way to

spend time together

virtually and truly give

each other the love

and attention that’s

needed to maintain

a long distance

relationship.

One of the best games to try is It

Takes Two, an action-adventure

platform game packed with minigames

that – you guessed it – takes

two.

If video games aren’t your speed,

why not try baking? The phrase ‘food

for the soul’ is popular for a reason.

Decide on a night each week to bake

some sweet treats over video call

then judge each other’s creations.

It’s like a long distance Bake Off but

instead of Paul Hollywood saying

you have a soggy bottom, it’s your

partner complimenting your use of

rainbow sprinkles.

Movie nights are also a perfect way

to spend some quality time together

– why not throw some face masks

in, too? After a long day of studying

and socialising, snuggling up with a

couple episodes of Merlin is the best

way to unwind with your lover.

10 SCANLU


ARTS & CULTURE

ARTS & CULTURE EDITORS:

Jess Hasson

& Caitlyn Taft

Lancaster 3rd-Year Publishes

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Elizabeth Train-Brown will be appearing

at her official book launch at Lancaster

Waterstones, on Wednesday 5th October,

6.30PM. All welcome!

London-based Renard Press this August

published SCAN’s very own writer and previous

editor, Elizabeth Train-Brown (she/they). Twiceshortlisted

Poet of the Year, Beth was editor of

Lancaster University’s Flash Literary Journal for

three years and is now going into her final year

studying English Literature and Creative Writing.

Published over 50 times in anthologies and

literary journals worldwide, Beth is headlining

an event at Lancaster Literary Festival

this year alongside lecturers Eoghan

Walls and Paul Farley. In February,

she is due to appear on a panel

at Portsmouth Book Festival

and has been invited to lead a

workshop at Kirkby Lonsdale

Poetry Festival.

Her debut

collection,

salmacis:

becoming not

quite a woman,

explores gender

identity

through gods,

monsters, and

sambuca

shots.

Most of it was

written during

their time at

university, taking

inspiration from

her own Pagan

and Catholic

religions

alongside

studenthood.

“I identify as

non-binary

and, following

sexual trauma,

I struggled with

my own body more

than ever. There

have been bouts of gender

dysphoria but also these

moments of disassociating

from my body as a

physical, sensual being.

“There are so many

things that evolve our

relationships with

our bodies over time.

Society, age, experience,

mental health, heritage.

“There’s a Greek myth

about Hermaphroditus

(the cleverly named son

of Hermes and Aphrodite) who was bathing in

a lake. The nymph of that lake, Salmacis, fell in

love with him. Begging the gods to let them be

together, she bonded with him, becoming a

being that was both male and female.

“It’s commonly credited as one of the first

examples of intersex in Western literature and

where we get the term ‘hermaphrodite’ today.

“To capture this sensation of feeling not quite

like a woman, feeling not quite in tune with my

own body, I took the metaphor of Salmacis and

used it to collect these poems together.

“It’s a little sinister, a little

magical, and a little liberating

– which is what it feels like to

have that conversation with

your body about what your

bits mean.”

Early reviews for salmacis have hailed

it ‘clever, witty, raw’, ‘tantalising

and unique‘, ‘one of those books

that should be on the school’s

curriculum.’

“Train-Brown’s imagery is so

strong and provoking that I

could literally feel it in my body.

“My favourite

poem

from the

collection,

‘chasing

my

therapist

to a rave

in the

woods’, I

couldn’t

help but

laugh

at.”

Laura

Roach

Janet of Love

Books, Read

Books added: ‘I’ve

read this volume

over several times

and on each reading

have gained a new

favourite.

“Elizabeth Train-

Brown is being and

shouting loudly

about it. I hope

that they continue

to produce such

engaging work.’

Talking about her

inspiration, Beth

told SCAN:

“Reading Carol Ann

First Book With London Press

Duffy, Rebecca Tamas, and my hero Phoebe

Stuckes helped me realise,

Poetry doesn’t have to be

white men writing about

flowers and pretty

women on

hillsides.

“It can be

visceral

a n d

raging.

It can

be about

cutting your

tits off in the

shower and buying

Creme Eggs in Morecambe and

pouring cheap red wine over your laptop while

your flatmate shags upstairs.

“The first (proper) pamphlet of poetry I ever put

together was for Eoghan Walls’ poetry module in

second-year at Lancaster and it was called him.

“It was made up of 10 poems that told the

chronological story of god appearing in the

narrator’s life like Peter Pan’s shadow, except

with a bag of coke and a litre bottle of vodka. As

the pamphlet goes on, it follows how the narrator

gently but firmly destroys him.

“him became my mantel for what I want my

writing to do.

“salmacis is just as daring,

reverent, and heretical.

“It’s everything I wanted it to be and I’m so

thrilled Renard Press is publishing it with as

much devotion to religion and hedonism as I

wrote it.”

Outside of poetry, Beth is a fire-breather in

the circus, a multi-award-winning national

journalist, part-time model, and competitive

pole dancer.

When asked about how she manages all this

alongside putting together a full collection of

poetry, Beth had this to say:

“University is a very special moment in time. I’ve

been using it as a chance to do all of these weird

and magical things, making time for what makes

my heart sing.

“University is about discovering

the things that make us

happy, that give us those

wild stories to tell at

parties.

“My parents always

taught me that that’s

what life is for, too,

and I owe a great

deal to their life

lessons in how

things don’t

always turn

out the way

you plan

and why

following

your heart

is the key to

happiness.

“My dad once

saw a circus

when he was

a teen living in

Lincoln. He taught

himself to juggle

every night before bed

until he quit school at 14

and travelled the country as

a juggling clown. He’s 77 this

year and has worked at the radio, in

newspapers, at cabarets, on fairgrounds,

and in plenty of circuses.

“My mum went to university as a mature student

and planned to do a degree in Accountancy so

she’d get a steady paycheck when she graduated.

At induction, she accidentally filled in the wrong

form and was enrolled on a Psychology course

by mistake. Over 20 years later, she works as a

Psychology lecturer at Lincoln College.

“Basically: Life can’t be

planned.

“Sod it all and start saying yes to the things

that sound fun. Take up fire breathing and pole

dancing and write poetry when you’re drunk. It’s

wonderful.”

Join Elizabeth Train-Brown and

SCAN for the offi cial salmacis

launch party.

Wednesday 5th October,

6.30PM at Lancaster

Waterstones.

Expect poetry readings, a Q&A,

merch, baked goodies, and an

after-party at Lancaster’s one

and only LGBTQ+ Generation

Nightclub.

Credit: Ami Clement & @Book_Girl85 via Instagram

A R T S & C U L T U R E


SCANLancaster

11

Flat

Rules: How

To Get Along

With Your

Flatmates

Will Doe

MUSIC EDITOR

Things get messy during freshers,

there’s no avoiding that, but once

that storm of partying, alcohol, and

intense socialising calms down, it’s

important to lay some ground rules

to keep the harmony within your flat.

Here’s some guidelines that your flat

should follow to stop your relations

falling into a feisty episode of Big Brother:

1. Clean Up!

No one likes to walk in after a hard day’s

work to find the kitchen counters covered

in pasta sauce and half-eaten pizza.

Take the time to clean up after yourself

and wipe down surfaces. It only takes 5

minutes and makes your communal area

much more hygienic.

2. Keep it down

It may be a surprise to some but there’s

a good chunk of students that don’t go

on 11PM-3AM piss-ups multiple times a

week (crazy, I know).

If you’re of the louder lifestyle and plan on

stumbling home in the late AM, belting

your favourite tunes, your sleeping

flatmates won’t appreciate your vocal

talent. Of course, this doesn’t mean you

can’t have house parties or pres at your

place every now and then, just keep your

fellow flatmates in mind.

3. Make a flat schedule

Chores like taking the bins out, hoovering,

and cleaning the oven can be much

easier if you put your heads together and

make a timetable where everyone puts a

shift in.

It’s a tactic that can last you into the later

years of your uni life where, when you

find yourself a house with friends (and

I talk from experience here), things get

grimy fast.

4. Respect One Another

University is an absolute mish-mash

of cultures, identities, and beliefs. It’s

important to come into uni open-minded

and respectful towards others.

This includes using correct pronouns,

acknowledging dietary requirements if

cooking flat meals, and making efforts

to include those who struggle with the

English language.

Creative Writing in

Lancaster


DESIGN MANAGER

Not only does Lancaster have a view that

famously inspired poets and writers, it’s

also home to plenty of creative writing

publications and groups!

Here are our top five:

Flash Literary Journal

@LancasterFlash

Lancaster University’s best source of weird and

wonderful creative writing! Flash is a student-run

print journal packed full of experimental flash

fiction and poetry. Each issue is illustrated by a

wonderful new Lancaster artist gorgeous enough

to decorate your room with.

What’s more, Flash offers free editorial advice on

every submitted piece. If you submit writing to

Flash, you’ll be paired with one of their team of

editors who will send you feedback and notes on

your writing.

Cake Magazine

@CakeMagLancaster

After a two-year hiatus over lockdown, Cake

Magazine is back! Renowned for its cake-themed

issue, this magazine is home to poetry, flash

fiction, reviews, and comment pieces. Their

last issue, Banana Bread, , featured illustrations

throughout the book with writing accompanied

by original drawings.

They are currently putting together an exec team

and are open to applications! Get in touch to

benefit from some unique editorial experience.

benefit from some unique editorial experience.

Living Poets Society

@LancsPoetry

If you’re looking for a writing community, this is

certainly the group for you. Not only have they

hosted socials to write drunk poetry on a bar

crawl around campus but they collaborated over

the summer with Lancs Crush to create a found

poems competition made from anonymous

crushes posted on the Instagram account.

Now with a full exec, you can expect plenty

coming from the Living Poets Society this year.

Join them by following the WhatsApp group chat

link in their bio.

LU Theatre Group

@TheatreGroup

If poetry and flash fiction aren’t for you, perhaps

script will be. At Lancaster University’s Theatre

Group, you can write an original script or adapt

an existing one and pitch it to the society to be

produced into a live play.

L a s t year, R o s s

Buchanan’s original play Be Careful What You Wish

For was put on as a short production in the Minor

Hall with a full cast, online promotion, and even

live music.

Watch their socials for news about upcoming

proposal events.

SCAN:

Creative

Writing

Section

@

SCANLancaster

One of the longest-running print newspapers

run entirely by students, SCAN has a readership

of more than 10,000 people, both on campus and

online, making it one of the best ways for students

to get their creative writing into the public

domain.

Several times a year, SCAN’s Creative Writing

section runs competitions open to all students

and provides free promotion on social media for

the winner and runners-up (plus some incredible

illustrations courtesy of the newspaper’s in-house

artist, Amy Brook). So, keep an eye out!

Photo credits left to right: @LancsPoetry, Ami Clement,

and Amy Brook

5. Check In

University is a daunting prospect at

first,and it’s best tackled as a team.

Others might be finding uni more difficult

than you and just having a conversation

about it can relieve a massive weight

from their shoulders.

A R T S & C U L T U R E

12 SCANLU


Lancaster Social

Drinking Games

for

Media To Follow

Dummies

Will Doe

MUSIC EDITOR

Drinking games are an art form and have

been a tradition of many a house party

bash over the long history of university

Ami Clement

piss-ups.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Campus life in Lancaster is a close

community, the shared experience of

standing in the line at Sugar in a downpour,

the drunk Sultans afterwards, and the

hangover queue for Greggs the next day

really unite us all as students.

But the best way to stay in the loop with the

goings-on in Lancaster is social media.

With countless pages and more being made

every week, there are always new and unique

posts popping up in your feed. Here’s a list of the

‘need to know’ accounts for Lancs.

Circuit Hate

@CircuitHate

Anyone living on campus will talk your ear off

about a lost battle with the laundry room. All

the washers and dryers on campus are run by

a company called Circuit Laundry and, let’s just

say, the app didn’t earn its one-star rating for

nothing.

Two Lancs students, Charlie and Charlie, created

the @CircuitHate account in their first year

living on campus, posting hilariously relatable

Circuit slander on Twitter and Instagram.

The Charlies have rounded up thousands of

followers and attention from The Cambridge

Tab, Manchester Uni meme pages, and even

a few run-ins with Circuit Laundry staff

themselves.

“Save money for alcohol

so you can cope with the

amount you spend on

washing.”

The Circuit Haters

pastry) and wait for the post to go up. Then, as

reliable as always, fellow students rush to the

comments section and tag the right people to

unite the lovers of Lancaster.

Me? I love to spend way too long trying to

work out if one of those vague poems about a

“stunning redhead in Sugar last night” is about

me or if the “mysterious boy with brown curls

on the bus” is my housemate.

It never hurts to drop a comment. You never

know, you could get a date out of it.

Only Lancs

@OnlyLancs

By far the most unhinged Lancs page you will

find, anonymous confessions are submitted and

posted, giving a scary insight into the way your

fellow students live.

Similar to the famous Lancsfessions of facebook,

with nightmare sex stories, the most abhorrent

communal bathroom sins, and more reasons to

be horrified with your peers than you will ever

need.

Growing to over 6,000 followers, when an

especially big and scary post from Only Lancs

drops, you will without a doubt hear talk on

campus and, if nothing else, after reading half

of these confessions, you will feel better about

your own embarrassing uni experiences.

“Freshers. Have fun and do

stuff. I challenge you to say

yes to every opportunity

you get in the fi rst week.

“Go to the freshers fair and

join at least one society.”

The mysterious OnlyLancs admin, themself

Bean the duck

@Bean_The_Duck

You won’t have been on campus more than five

minutes to spot an armada of the infamous

Lancaster ducks.

Students coexist in peace and solidarity with

the ducks at Lancaster. Just do not, under any

circumstances, share your pastie with them in

Alex Square or you will be targeted by the entire

duck population.

Bean, however, is a cuddly duck from County

College, who explores the city, tries new

societies, and documents these adventures

online as your own feathered tour guide to

Lancaster. If you’re lucky, you might even get to

meet him on a night out and take a snap!

“Get stuck into as much

as possible and make the

most of every day at your

time here!”

Bean

Here’s some of the most well-known drinking

games for your pre-drink session:

1. Drunk Pirate

Drunk Pirate is a card game app, hell-bent on

getting you as sloshed as a scurvy-ridden sealover

on their third bottle of rum.

From taboo questions to hilarious drinkthemed

challenges, it’s bound to cause a riot

around the table.

2. Truth Or Drink

Truth or Drink is the simplest drinking game

out there.

Going around in a circle, each participant takes

turns to answer a question from the rest of the

group. If they refuse, they drink (or take a shot).

It’s a great way to break the ice, and it’s often

the case where the naughtier the questions, the

better.

3. Jai-Ho (and other drink-

alongs)

“Jai-Ho (You Are My Destiny)” is a 2009 single

from dynamic US girl group The Pussycat Dolls.

More importantly, it’s the soundtrack to your

demise.

Get this track on the loudspeakers and, in your

group, one person starts drinking at the first

‘jai-ho!’ of the song. The action is moved onto

the next at each ‘jai-ho!’

You may be taking a sip or downing half your

drink, depending on your luck. Other songs that

work are “Thunderstruck” (swapping at every

‘thunder’), “Roxanne” (after every ‘Roxanne’),

and “Hey-Ya” (you get the picture by now).

4. Beer Pong

A lot of drinking games are down to dumb luck

but beer pong is all about skill.

Get two sets of 9 cups placed in a 4-3-2-1

formation at either side of the table, one ping

pong ball, and two teams of tipsy, determined

competitors.

Take turns on either side throwing the ping

pong ball at the other team’s cups. If the ball

lands in the cup, the other team have to down

the contents. Winner is the team to get out all

the other side’s cups.

5. Titanic

Lancs Crush

@Lancs_Crush

Amassing 2.5k followers in a year, the Lancs

Crush account has easily become a staple of

Lancaster life.

People fill in a Google Form in the account

bio about themselves, their crush (/drunk kiss

in a club/one that got away/favourite Gregg’s

This will potentially slaughter one unlucky

participant.

Place a pint-sized glass on a table then, going

in turns, everyone fills up the glass with their

drink of choice. It can be a drop or a good swig,

just make sure the concoction doesn’t overflow,

or else you’ll be the one downing it. Keep going

until someone does just that.

Always be safe when drinking alcohol and never

pressure others to drink if they don’t want to.


SCANLancaster

13

14

Every

Society on

Campus

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Here at Lancaster, there is

something for everyone.

From sport to films, games to

politics, a group of likeminded

people are never too far away.

93% Club Lancaster

Acapella Society

Accounting Society

Advertising Society

African Caribbean Society

Amnesty International

Arab Society

Astronomy Society | LUAstro

Badminton Society

Bailrigg FM

Baking Society

Ballet Society

Ballroom Dancing Society

Barbell Society (Strength

Training)

Barnardo’s Society

Belly Dancing Society

Benchball Society

Biology Society

Board and Card Game Society

(Senet)

Boxing

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

Cancer Research UK Society

Casual Football

Catholic Society

Cheerleading

Chess

Chinese Christian Fellowship

Chinese Students & Scholars

Association (CSSA)

Christian Union

Climate Action

Comedy Institute

Computer Science Society

Conservative Society

Craft

Criminology Society

Dance: LUDanS

Darts Society

Debating

Defying Dementia Student

Society

Doctor Who Society

Dog Soc

Economics Society

Edible Campus

Enactus Lancaster

Engineering

Engineers Without Borders

Feminist Society

Filipino Society

Film Society

First Aid Society

Fitness Society (Street Workout

and Calisthenics)

Folk Society

French Society

Friends of Palestine

Gaming and Esports Society

German Society

Golf Society

Green Party Society

Harry Potter Society

Hellenic Society

Hiking Club

Hindu Society

Hip Hop & Breakdance

History Society

Hong Kong Public Affairs &

Social Service Society

Indian Society

Indian Dance society

Indonesian Society

International Partnership of

Business Schools Society

Lancaster University Pokémon Society

Amy Brook

PokéSoc have been offering a wide

range of activities for fans to enjoy

since 2012.

Every Wednesday, Lancastrian

Trainers will be treated to movie

nights, battle tournaments, trading

card game competitions, Pictionary,

and quizzes relating to their favorite

monsters.

“We take pride in being

a really welcoming and

inclusive society. Every

member of this exec only

Ami Clement

A fan favourite at last year’s Roses

Sports Competition, Pole Fitness allows

members to grow their confidence as

well as their strength.

With classes for all skill levels, from

beginner to advanced, here you will be

welcomed by a friendly exec ready to

empower and support you as you

have fun with one of the greatest

forms of dance.

joined the society at the start

of last year and we’ve found

the most incredible group of

friends.”

Plus, if you haven’t got access to

a specific installation in this hit

Nintendo series, they offer a rental

service for both game cards and

retro consoles.

We asked the exec which Pokémon

they thought represented life at

Lancaster University:

“Before university, I was very quiet

and anxious. Being at Lancaster has

caused me to try new things, grow

as a person, and flourish—just like

Cherrim in the sun!” says Maisie.

“Just how Ditto can change into

anything, your university life can

be anything you make of it,” Daniel

explains. “You can join all the

societies, focus on one or two, or

join none at all, and focus on your

friends and studies. You get to enjoy

it your way!”

Ned insisted on Ducklet, since

Lancaster is

famous for its

campus ducks.

Amelia Daniels

“Pole is incredible for self-esteem. It

won’t take long to see the exec’s pride

in the society beam. This is a wholly

inclusive experience for all genders

and sexualities.

“We’re proud to have an

incredibly diverse array of

body types. We’re here to help

you feel sexy.”

From jazzy costumes to amazing

routines that an audience can sing

and dance along to, not only does

p o l e

l o o k

@EdibleCampusLU

Edible Campus is one

of several societies at

Lancaster that promotes

food sustainability and

connecting with your

environment.

“People should join

our society if they

want to disconnect

from the stresses

of university life, get

back to nature, and

spend some time in a

thriving and welcoming

community.”

They can be found at the

ECOHub, an allotment space

on South Campus, across

from Lonsdale Collage.

“Our goals are to grow,

look after, and harvest our

own fruit and vegetables

by teaching members the

gardening/crop growing

skills they need to care

for and maintain healthy

produce.”

Edible Campus host regular

‘Action Days’ which include

activities such as sowing

seeds, preparing beds,

maintaining the site, or

harvesting the produce.

Lancaster Pole Fitness

impressive, it’s open to everyone.

Amelia Daniels

“Typically, we all start with

average (or even terrible)

core strength and flexibility.

But training builds up your

resilience so fast you don’t

even notice.

“Plus, we are one of the most

disability-friendly dance sports.

Some of the top pole dancers to

come out of Lancaster and the UK

have been amputees or have MS. It’s

so wonderfully inclusive

here.”

Women in Business is

a society that aims to

empower women who

wish to enter the business

world, sharing ideas and

opportunities to network for

all people who identify as

women.

“We are partnering

with sponsors from

various industries to

provide opportunities

for our members.”

The society is made up of

Edible Campus

The society also host regular

workshops and a variety of

socials where you can better

get to know your green-

fingered friends.

“What we love about Edible

Campus is the community.

Everyone that goes is really

friendly and Action Days

always have a great vibe to

them!”

A great thing about Edible

Campus is that it’s free to

join and you’ll definitely

come away with more than

just friends, you’ll get some

produce too!

The society is open to

all abilities, whether

you are a fiend for

beans, or just

dipping

your toes into

the soil.

Women In Business

a diverse group passionate

about helping women make

a name for themselves across

a broad range of professions.

As well as interacting with

various businesses, the

society also communicates

with charities that align with

the group’s goals of making

the business world into a

safe and inviting space for

women.

“This year, our goal

is to expand our

activities and provide

even more internship

@LUPokeSoc

@LUGotPole

and industry insider

opportunities to our

members.”

And these steps can already be

seen in their partnership with

Women Societies Alliance

who are an independent

group bringing Women in

Business/Finance societies

within European Universities

together to collaborate in

a supportive and thriving

community.

@LancasterUni_WIBSoc

15

Ami Clement

“Dog Soc is a society for

anyone who loves dogs and

anyone who wants to help

make a difference.

“We’re a charity and

welfare society so we

run fundraisers for

charities such as Guide

Dogs and Wolfwood

(a local Lancaster

charity), as well as fun

social events for our

Enactus

Ami Clement

Enactus UK supports students

and young people across the

country to engage in social

action and social enterprise.

“Our mission in the UK is to

be recognised as a leader in

developing a national network

of socially-minded young

leaders of the future, who

transform communities and

society through real life social

action and environmentally

responsible enterprise.

“We’re dedicated to

creating a better world

@Enactus_LU

Dog Soc

members.”

If you’re passionate about

dogs, you’re guaranteed to

find likeminded people here.

This year they’re hoping to

hold quiz and board game

nights, bake sales, dogthemed

parties, and will be

continuing their Dog of the

Month competitions.

There’s always plenty

to get involved with!

With a

while developing the

next generation of

entrepreneurial leaders

and social innovators.

“The Enactus network of global

business, academic and student

leaders are unified by our

vision – to create a better, more

sustainable world.

“We have an established

university programme which

has been running since 2001

and now operates in over 60

universities across the UK,

engaging over 3,500 students

each year.”

Ami Clement

Any art students amongst you

will become familiar with the

UNA team pretty quickly. But our

favourite, and one of the most

unique experiences Up North

Arts has to offer, are their life

drawing sessions.

Artists are given the

opportunity to warm up

with practice sketches

before the longer length

pieces in a circle around the

model. Use colour, pen, pencil, or

whatever medium you feel most

welcoming and relaxed

atmosphere, Joining

the society is not only a

chance to meet a great

group of people but also

an opportunity to make a

real change to local dogs in

need.

If you’re missing your dog

back home or want to help

fundraising, this is the perfect

society for

you. No

shortage

of fun

(and furry

Josh Perrett

If you like competitive

online games then Esports

is the place for you.

Playing a whole range of games

from Valorant and Super Smash

Bros, to League of Legend and

Rocket League means all new

opportunities to meet plenty of

new players.

We interviewed the president

‘ZKCAT’ to get a better idea of the

club.

@Offi cialLUGES

@UpNorthArtsUNA

@LUDogSoc

If you want to be one of those

students, you can be certain

you’re walking into a diverse

and successful business and

enterprise-orientated society,

with opportunities on offer from

Amazon to ASDA.

In a current competition, Enactus

hope to give the opportunity

to learn design thinking and

network with Sodexo, to build

a project to stop world hunger

and poverty.

The first session runs on

October 13th and is

open to all so if you’re

interested, keep am eye

on their social media!

comfortable with.

SCAN Music Editor and Fine

Art graduate Will described the

experience as,

“An interesting and

more interactive

experience to art

that most people

who haven’t studied

art won’t get the

opportunity to have.”

UNA post regular call-outs for

life models and our Design

Manager, Elizabeth, tried her

Up North Arts:

Esports and Gaming Society

“If competitive is what you’re

looking for then you’re in the right

place.

“We hold regular

tournaments to keep our

members on their feet,

passionate, and wanting

more.”

“Like any society, I believe freshers

are important to us. Not only are

they the ones who’ll carry on

this society, they’re the ones who

are most likely to help push this

society on with even greater ideas.”

hand at life modelling for the

90-minute session.

“The team were relaxed and

friendly which is always helpful

when you’re posing naked for

an hour in a room full of nearstrangers.”

Many describe the experience

of nude modelling as liberating.

“It’s so cool to see all

the drawings of yourself

afterwards. I’ve used

them to decorate my

wall.”

Esports has a very welcoming

environment for all likeminded

gamers, so you’ll never feel like

you don’t blend in.

“I was pretty worried at first

because in my whole townhouse,

nobody really played games a lot

and liked going out.

“This society really helped

me fi nd a lot of new

people to play with and

make friends, it made me

feel like I belong.”

Intervol

Investment & Finance Society

Islamic Society

Issue fashion society

Italian Soc

Japanese Society

Jewish Society

Junior Lawyers Against Poverty

K-Pop

Karate

Kazakhstan Society

LA1TV

Labour Club

Lancaster Entrepreneurs

Lancaster Marrow

Lancaster Nightline

Lancaster Radical Youth Society

Lancaster Student Scouts And

Guides

Latvian Society

Law Society

LECSoc

Liberal Democrats

Linguistics & English Language

Society

Lithuanian Society

LU Community and Wellbeing

LU Sing

LU Kickboxing

LU Lego

Manga and Anime

Magic and Circus

Malaysian Student Society

Marketing Society

Mathematics Society Living

Medical Society

Model United Nations

Motorsport

Mountaineering Club

Muay Thai Boxing

Netball Umpiring Society

Nigerian Society

North African Society

Pakistani Society

Parkour and Tricking

Philosophy Society

Photography

Pokemon Society

Pole Fitness

Polish Society

Politics Society

Pro Wrestling Society

Psychology Society

Real Ale and Cider Society

Red Rose Refugees

Refereeing Society

RocSoc

Roleplaying Society

Salsa society

SCAN Newspaper

Scandinavian

Sexpression Lancaster

Sikh Society

Sober Society

Speleological Society

Strongman

Sub Aqua Club

Study Abroad Society

Swift Soc

Swing Dance

Taekwondo

Taiwanese

Take 2 Cinema

Tamil Society

TedX

Thai Society

The Redeemed Christian

Campus Society

Theatre Group

Underwater Hockey

UNICEF

Music Society

Up North Arts

Vegetarian and Vegan

Wargaming Society

Welsh

Wilderness and Emergency

Medicine Society

Wing Chun

Women in Business

Yoga

Credit top to bottom p. 14: Amy Brook,

@EdibleCampusLU, @LancasterUni_WIBSoc

Credit top to bottom p. 15: Will Doe, @

LUDogSoc, @Offi cialLUGES, @Enactus_LU

16 SCANLU


M U S I C

MUSIC EDITORS:

Will Doe &

Megan Hargeaves

Music and Dance

with people from their own background.

Will Doe

MUSIC EDITOR

Musically-inclined and looking for some

shiny music societies to tickle your toes?

Well, SCAN have you covered.

Celebrating Music

Societies

Luckily, the fellows at Lancaster Uni know this,

and there are many societies based around the

enjoyment of various forms of music.

Th e Folk Society covers song, music, and dance

in a celebration of all things folk, from ceilidh to

Morris to international.

RocSoc is perfect for all you rock-heads out there,

celebratin rock, metal, and other alternative

music. They host weekly socials exploring the

rock scene around Lancaster and share favourite

tracks with fellow rockstar friends.

K-Pop Society may peak your attention if

you’re all into the Asian pop universe that has

recently taken the world by storm. They host

weekly socials and attend K-Pop DJ sets at local

nightclubs.

Swift Soc is (you guessed it) all things Taylor

Swift, hosting parties and socials themed all

around the pop superstar.

University of Lancaster Music Society is the

largest music society on campus, allowing the

creation of bands and ensembles from brass, to

orchestras, to swing groups.

Societies

into something new.

If you’re looking to make a band with your uni

mates, wanting to join a group of like-minded

musicians, or be given opportunities as a solo

artist, all whilst making tons of new friends and

Hip

Breakdance

Society

Hop &

honing your skills, then this society should be

first on your list.

i s

Singing Societies

Think you’ve got the vocal chops or just

want to have a good time singing some

tunes you know and love?

LU Sing Society, where you can

express your musical talent with

weekly gatherings of solo and group

performance practices. It’s a great way

to find new friends and perform your

favourite songs, or your own material.

Acapella Society is home to Lancaster’s

first competitive acapella group. Singers,

rappers, and beatboxers are all welcome

in this collaborative group that perform in

competitions around the UK.

Both societies give you the opportunity to

perform at various events both local and within

the university. Sounds exciting right?

Dance Societies

Whilst many of these societies technically fall

into the ‘sports’ section, we say, ‘what’s music

without dancing?’. So here’s a quick summary

of all the dance societies the university has to

o ff e r.

Th e

Ballroom Dancesport Society and Ballet

Society are available to all with the talent of

these historic western dance forms, and to

those who would like to spread their wings

Which Banger Is Your College?

Grizedale

h e r e

for all

those interested

in the contemporary side of

dance,

teaching street dance, breakdance, popping

and locking, vogue, commercial, and more.

Th e Salsa Dancing Society, Belly Dancing

Society, and Indian Dancing Society all offer

an experience in amazing dance forms of

different cultures. A great way for dancers to

try something new, and for students to connect

LUDanS is the largest dance society at the

university and offers weekly classes in a range

of styles lead by students or external dance

teachers. A must for anyone interested in dance

as a whole.

With all the societies being thrown at your face

in the first couple of weeks at Uni, it can feel

overwhelming. But take it from me (someone

who didn’t pay any attention to societies and

spent most evenings slumped on my

crumby dormitory chair playing FIFA

like the grouch I am), force yourself

to be a social butterfly.

View societies as the

parmesan cheese to your

‘Uni experience’ pasta:

it gets tastier with

each sprinkle (I like

parmesan if you can’t

tell)

So if you’re

interested in

making, dancing,

listening, and

talking about music,

then there sure will

be many an option

within the societies of

Lancaster University for

you to venture into. All offer

great opportunities, a chance

to make great friends and create

great memories.

Photos: (left to right)

@LUSwiftSoc, @LUDanS,

@Lancaster_University_Sing

Each college has its own personality. Think Hogwarts Sorting Hat, but less magical.

What better way to summarise a college’s lifestyle and character than a song?

Lonsdale Bowland County Furness

You may end up working as a waitress in a

cocktail bar and, after all, Grizedale hosts

THE party bar on campus.

Cartmel

Lonsdale owns the pompous title of “founding

college”. So, Katy Perry’s overly-bombastic

Roar seems a perfect fit, lion n’ all.

Bowland, like Lonsdale, think they’re the best. No one goes as hard as County do, one could say

What separates the two? The stuff we’ve seen they are indeed Bonkers. You better be prepared

you guys doing around Bowland Annexe. to see 30 Spider-Mans stumbling home at 3 A.M.

Fylde Pendle Graduate

Bar sports are all the hype at Furness and

they know how to do it right. Come on

Eileen!

Ah yes, the posh college. Don’t be surprised if

the rest of us get a bit jealous while we wade

in our overdrafts.

Fylde gives us indie vibes, from the ever-soindie

playlist always on rotation at the Mill.

Your logo is a witch, and there ain’t no cooler You guys are ancient and have definitely

pioneer of musical ‘witch-core’ than Kate been through war and back to get here —

Bush.

true veterans of the University.

For all the songs here and the rest talked

about in this section, follow this link for the

Official SCAN Music Playlist!

M U S I C


SCANLancaster

17

Music of Lancaster:

Venues and Gigs to Get Involved

Stranger Things

to Dog Shows:

Th e Kanteena

Night Out

Sugar and Generation are often seen as

the 2 big hitters for a student night out,

but Kanteena offers a much-needed third

option for all who are looking for something

different.

Only last month, some of the SCAN crew ventured

over for a ‘Stranger Things’ themed night filled

with hard rock bangers and sweaty head-banging.

Despite some casualties (well one in particular)

from the admittedly fast consumption of alcohol,

we can all say it was a rocker of a night.

A super cool place with super cool

people, Kanteena always have a

plethora of events, meaning

there’s never a time where

something won’t tickle

your fancy.

So instead of hearing

DJ Khaled and Pitbull

for the 70th time on a

night out, how about

trying Kanteena?

7th Oct - 2010s party night

15th Oct - Acme Bass

21st Oct - 2000s party night

28th Oct - Heavy Metal Uprise

8 Albums To Cure Your

Homesick Blues

Will Doe

MUSIC EDITOR

It’s ok, freshers – we get you. Just a

few years ago, we were in the same

position. Flung into a new world of

independence, responsibility, and

constant piss-ups.

It may seem daunting, but you’ll learn

to love it. In the meantime, you need

some audible soul-food for those

homesick blues.

You can normally find such comfort

in your favourite artists and albums,

but if you’re searching for something

new to tingle your musical toes, then

I’ve got your back.

1. Frank Ocean,

blond

Yeah, it’s obvious, I know, but it’s a

modern classic for a reason. Frank

Ocean’s voice is exactly the sort of

hug you need when that initial feeling

of isolation hits. Whilst blond serves

more as a breakup album, the pristine

bedroom pop production feels right

at home in a uni dormitory.

Will Doe

MUSIC EDITOR

Stop being jealous of students from

Manchester or London for their

massive music venues just around

the corner. Lancaster has many of

its very own places to spend an

evening.

Local Bars and

Pubs

A good handful of pubs around

Lancaster host small gigs for local

musicians.

From acoustic artists at the John O’

Gaunt, a ska revival cover band at

The Cornerhouse, to a hairy heavy

rock band at the pub

aptly named ‘Th e

Pub’.

2. Marvin Gaye,

What’s Going On

Mavin Gaye’s What’s Going On is

widely considered one of the best

political albums of all time. Whilst

issues such as racism, war, and

drug addiction should hopefully

not be a direct problem for your uni

experience, a simply brilliant soul

record from one of the greats is a

must to warm your heart.

3. Joni Mitchell,

Ladies Of The

Canyons

Stick your headphones on and step

into Joni Mitchell’s vivid portrait

of late sixties Laurel Canyon

counterculture. Mitchell’s soothing

vocals, lush piano, and acoustic guitar

never fail to aid relaxation, and her

incomparable song writing examines

everything from a mythologised

Woodstock to the melancholy of

growing up.

4. Weyes Blood,

Other pub

v e n u e s

include

R e d

Lion,

T h e

Jailors

Barrel,

a n d

T h e

T h r e e

Mariners.

If you wander

around Lancaster town centre on

a Friday evening (safely with

your friends), there will be

many local artists for you to

enjoy.

Larger

Venues

Lancaster is also home

to a few larger venues

with more of a concert vibe

instead of the sing-a-long at

your local.

Kanteena is a wonderful warehouse

that goes severely underrated. It

hosts themed nights from hip-hop

to indie to hard rock, all of which

have a super inclusive and friendly

vibe.

The Grand Theatre gives its stage to

local acts, including dance, music,

and theatre. Do keep an eye on

their timetable.

The Gregson is an arts and

community centre, hosting

everything from live jazz to dance

classes. The centre is perfect

for those who love a creative

atmosphere.

Upcoming Events

Lancaster Music Festival is around

Titanic Rising

If you enjoy a bit of Joni Mitchell,

then this should be next on your

list. Titanic Rising hits deep with

the pensive and existential crisis

of watching said Titanic sink from

afar, with a glass of wine in hand.

The whole record feels like you are

floating on a bed of wistful guitar

and ethereal synths, and Weyes vocal

delivery is just… wow.

5. Fleet Foxes,

Helplessness Blues

Yes, most Bob Dylan records would

do the trick, but if you’re looking

for something a little more modern

to fuel your first night of reflection

after the fresher madness pitters

out, Helplessness Blues may be more

helpful than its title suggests. It’s like

a refreshing breath of folk-induced

air.

6. Solange,

A Seat At The Table

Hey, look, it’s Beyonce’s sister!

Anyways, Solange stands on her own

t h e

corner.

It’s the perfect time to get to

know the city. Over 300 gigs,

performances, and workshops

are scattered around Lancaster at

more than 50 venues.

Get your musical strings

strumming and look out for great

up-and-coming artists, especially

Alt-Pop newbie Lois.

Lancaster University campus has

its own musical events, too.

Bailrigg FM, the campus radio

station, is known for hosting Battle

of the Bands where student bands

show off their musical chops at

college bars on campus. Join in to

cheer for your fellow students.

with this beautiful album of growth

and self-appreciation. It’s like a

therapy session for your ear canals,

feeling so intimate that you can’t

help but place yourself within its soft

grasp.

7. Big Thief, Dragon

New Warm Mountain

I Believe In You

It may have only been released a few

months ago, but there’s something

completely timeless about this

album with a ridiculously long name.

It can be intimate, hilarious, and

barnstorming. However, at the heart

of this record is a warmth that can

permeate any anxiety or loneliness.

8. The Avalanches,

We Will Always Love

You

We Will Always Love You confronts

the hardships of being away from

the ones you love. It’s a great array of

pop and psychedelic electronica that

can get you dancing one minute and

tearing up the next. Good stuff.

Top Tips

For Creating The

Perfect

Pres

Playlist

Will Doe

MUSIC EDITOR

With great power comes great

responsibility, and if you have the

power of the speakers at a freshers

pres or house party, this famous

saying certainly falls upon you.

There’s an art to creating a party playlist,

and when you get it right, you can burn the

whole flat down with top tier bangers… just

don’t tell the porters. Here’s some top tips to

be the best flat DJ on campus:

What song goes with

what?

It’s important to make sure the vibe is

consistent. Going from One Dance to Cotton

Eye Joe is so cursed the uni would need an

exorcist.

When curating a party playlist, make sure

the ‘set list’ makes sense. Songs that are

similar energy, age, and genre are best kept

close to each other. Finding tracks that act

as a gateway to another vibe or genre are

gold dust.

Take risks, but don’t

go too weird.

There’re millions of songs out there, which

means a lot of bangers to choose from. You

may have a few obscure ones up your sleeve,

don’t be afraid to let them shine. Drunk

students will dance to anything… well most

things.

If your music taste goes down the weird lane,

it’s important to keep the crowd pleased. A

death metal or avant-garde glitch-pop track

might just scare away the life of the party.

Leave Pitbull and Mr.

Brightside to Sugar.

A lot of the “showstoppers” are in regular

rotation at Sugar, so it’s best to leave it to

them; it makes those bangers all the better

with the wait.

If you have no plan on going to a Lancastrian

club, feel free to let the big-hitters rip.

Don’t hog the music.

Okay, so the party is going well, and people

are enjoying your immaculate playlist.

Suddenly, one drunk attendee asks for

Maroon 5. The problem is, you don’t like

Maroon 5, like, at all. So what do you do?

Well… you’ve just gotta grin and bear it.

People will vibe to any pop track drunk and

it’s only for 3 minutes anyway.

Finally, use your

Spotify playback.

‘Playback’ can be found in Spotify’s settings

and gives you some neat tricks to make your

playlist sound professional.

The ‘Crossfade’ tool allows you to merge one

song to another. 4-8 seconds works best,

and ‘equalizer’ allows you to tinker with the

sound of the song; if you need a bass boost,

or want the soaring vocals to shine, Spotify

has your back.

18 SCANLU


S C R E E N

SCREEN EDITOR:

James Wilson

NOW SHOWING

Michaelmas Term, Oct - Dec 2022

7-10th Oct

Back to the

Future, Vol. 1

Start term by looking back on this 1985 cult

classic. Not only can you enjoy the retro

aesthetic of the mid-eighties but you can

look even further into the past and dive into

life in 1955 with Marty McFly and Dr Emmett

Brown.

Let the charm of an older film hold your hand

through week one, reminding you of the time

you watched it with your family and they told

you, “We used to have to take turns on the

landline it wasn’t like it is now.”

14-17th Oct

Jurassic Park

Dinosaurs, Jeff Goldblum, and Steven

Spielberg, what more could you want?

Travel to the latest big hit attraction in 1993’s

Jurassic Park, with the charm of 90s props and

CGI, and maybe you’ll even learn a thing or

two about dinosaurs. (Or at least how to avoid

being eaten by them should science keep

advancing.)

4-7th Nov

Guardians of

the Galaxy

This Marvel masterpiece has easily one of

the best soundtracks of any action film, with

classic banger after banger.

This gang of ragtag misfits make an unlikely

team, and even more unlikely heroes, fighting

to stop villain, Ronan.

Directed by James Gunn with a star-studded

cast, you will be racing to watch volume two.

11-14th Nov

Bullet Train

Brad Pitt, Sandra Bullock and Joey King star

in blockbuster Bullet Train.

Ladybug is an unlucky assassin who’s

determined to do his job peacefully after one

too many gigs has gone off the rails. Fate,

however, may have other plans as his latest

mission puts him on a collision course with

lethal adversaries from around the globe -- all

with connected yet conflicting objectives --

on the world’s fastest train.

2-5th Dec

Carol

In an adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s

seminal novel, The Price of Salt, CAROL

follows two women from very different

backgrounds who find themselves in an

unexpected love affair in 1950s New York.

Battling the challenges that come with being

queer and female in the 1950s, this 2015

drama will have you tearing up.

21-24th Oct

Nope

The latest Jordan Peele film transports

you to an American neo-Western science

fiction horror dimension, where it’s almost

guaranteed you will spend all two hours on

edge and unsettled.

Staring Keke Palmer, Daniel Kaluuya and

Steven Yeun, this diverse cast is filled with big

names and recognisable faces.

28-31st Oct

Coraline

The fuel of everyone’s childhood nightmares,

2009 Coraline takes you on a stop-motion

adventure through a mysterious world which

is the literal definition of ‘be careful what you

wish for.’

With her iconic blue hair and yellow raincoat,

Coraline splits her time between her real

world home and the new-found ‘other’

strangely idealized version of home through

a magic door.

18-21st Nov

Don’t Worry

Darling

Olivia Wilde takes the director’s seat for this

thriller set in the 1950s following couple Alice

and Jack, played by none other than British

icons Florence Pugh and Harry Styles.

In a utopian experimental community, Alice

begins to worry that her husband’s glamorous

company could be hiding disturbing secrets.

After all the press drama over this film, surely

it’s worth a watch.

25-28th Nov

Everything

Everwhere

All At Once

There is no better way to describe this absurd

sci-fi, adventure, comedy than its title.

A Chinese immigrant gets unwillingly

embroiled in an epic adventure where she

must connect different versions of herself in

the parallel universe to stop someone who

intends to harm the multiverse. Directed by

Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, you’re in

for a ride.

9-12th Dec

Th e

Nightmare

Before

Christmas

It wouldn’t be a term of Take 2 without a good

old Christmas screening, with a fan-favorite

from Disney, sing along to Tim Burton’s 1993

The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Combining Halloween and Christmas, follow

Jack Skellington’s obsession with Christmas

as he kidnaps Santa Clause and has to deal

with the consequences of his actions.

Photos (left to right): Neil Canton, Universal

Pictures, Universal Pictures, Focus Features,

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures, Sony Pictures,

Warner Bros. Pictures, A24, StudioCanalUK, Walt

Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

Book tickets at:

take2.lancastersu.co.uk


SCANLancaster

19

What to Watch to Learn

About Starting

Moonlight follows Chiron through

Comfort

childhood and into adulthood as he

comes to terms with poverty, trauma,

University

toxic masculinity, and homophobia.

Movies To

From cinematography to editing, this

is crafted with such skill you’ll feel

Fight the James Wilson

finally realised, as is her intoxicated.

SCREEN

connection to religion,

EDITOR

to Sacramento, to her Although a tear-jerker, you’ll finish with

Homesick

old friends and the life a sense of catharsis.

she spent ages trying to get

away from.

Blues

Maria Hill

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Being a fresher can be overwhelming.

Eventually, you’ll adjust but, until

then, I have accumulated a list of

films that may soothe your fresher

homesickness.

Whisper of the Heart

(1995)

From the cosy visuals to the stunning

score, Whisper of the Heart is the

embodiment of childhood nostalgia.

Follow Shizuku and her dream of

becoming a writer. Chasing your

passion is a common feeling for

students and, after hours typing away

at your laptop, Whisper of the Heart

may bring some comfort.

Emma

(2020)

This adaptation of Jane Austen’s

Emma is a light-hearted and comedic

period piece, perfect for escapism. It

would be easy to label it a mindless

romance (and it does indeed deliver)

but there’s much more.

Follow witty aristocrat Emma and

laugh, wince, and forget your firstyear

struggles from the start.

Moonlight

(2016)

Starting uni’s pretty daunting, isn’t it?

Or maybe it’s not. I don’t want to put

thoughts in your head.

It’s one of the more significant

periods of upheaval. You haul your

possessions across the country and

settle into a new routine of life with

people you’ve never met before. It’s a

little odd at first.

With that said, the

freshers’ experience

this year is worlds

apart from the one I

experienced.

Mine was a much more low-key affair

thanks to lockdown, which devolved

the staple activities into sterile online

imitations.

Before my Film Studies course kicked

off properly, we were invited to a

taster screening of a film followed by

a Q&A. The film was Greta Gerwig’s

Lady Bird.

You can very much see

why that was their

choice. Lady Bird is a

classic coming-ofage

film, a portrait

of rebellious

seventeenyear-old

Christine

McPherson,

also known

as Lady Bird.

She lives (as

she jokes)

“on the

wrong side of

the tracks” in

Sacramento,

California, a

city she resents.

Resentment

is not an

unfamiliar

emotion to her,

it’s something she directs towards

her mother, her brother, her school,

and her teachers, regardless of her

actual love for them.

Despite its mature motifs of social

class, mother-daughter relationships,

sex, and reaching adulthood, Lady

Bird is surprisingly digestible and

breezy. Thanks to a 90-minute

runtime, the obvious excitement

that glows through each of the film’s

grainy frames, and Saoirse Ronan’s

magnificent performance, Lady Bird

does not weigh the viewer down.

It is emotional and

uplifting, finding

that rare balance

effortlessly.

For much of the film, Lady Bird’s

move to university is more of a plot

device, a facilitator for the film’s

themes, symbolic of her desire to

move out of Sacramento rather

than a yearning to experience

academia. Although that is not an

unrelatable motivation. What I mean

to say is that the impending arrival

of university, in Lady Bird perhaps

represents the conclusion of a phase

in life, the conclusion of childhood.

University is a

weird limbo space

between youth and

adulthood.

You don’t entirely have to fend for

yourself, but you start to learn how.

Very little of Lady Bird is devoted

to that second idea because it

documents the year before its

heroine flees the nest and how that

warps the relationships in her life.

To me, the most interesting thing

about the film is how Lady Bird’s

departure, both as it draws closer

and after the fact, focuses her mind

on the things that really matter to

her. She has an incredibly strained

relationship with her mother but

after they are geographically isolated,

the years of unappreciated effort are

Once there, Lady

Bird goes to a house

party and drinks

herself into hospital

before sobering up and calling

home, a routine with which you may

become familiar. What happens

to her after that experience is

unimportant to the film, so it offers

relatively little in the way of advice

for thriving at university but reveals

much about the moments leading

up to it; parents and guardians will

probably be much more emotional

about the situation than you, and

your ties with home might become

stronger.

If you want to watch a

film about the months

before you embark

on one of the biggest

chapters in your life

so far, it would

be hard to find

one more

specific

than Lady

Bird.

But you don’t

have to take

life lessons

from it. It’s

a fantastic

film about

coming of

age, one

person out of

millions who

go through that

process every

year.

We leave Lady Bird

just as she embarks

on the next chapter,

something I love. One

journey is concluding, another

is just beginning. If anything, it

speaks to the truth that we never

really know what is to come. We

are always in the present, caught

between ends and beginnings.

Can we really compare a film to how

our university experience begins

when we could hardly compare

our individual adventures to one

another? I don’t think so.

Great films display greatness. The

best are the ones we truly connect

with. Watch Lady Bird because you

just might.

Photos (left to right): Toho Co., Ltd., Universal

Pictures, A24, Searchlight Pictures, Netflix,

Miramax

S C R E E N

The Grande Budapest

Hotel

(2014)

From the colourful mise-en-scene to

the gentle humour, Anderson’s auteur

style will leave a sweet aftertaste.

With an eccentric ensemble and

a fanciful, silly plot, you will be

transported with full-time concierge

and part-time sugar-baby M. Gustave

and lobby boy Zero as they steal high

art, run from assassins, and stand-off

against police disguised as bakery boys.

The Half Of It

(2020)

Far from Netflix’s typical teen rom-com,

The Half of It will leave your heart feeling

like it’s wearing a knitted jumper.

Follow shy and awkward Ellie Chu who,

when a jock pays her to write a love

letter to the girl she has a crush on, is

faced with interpersonal dilemmas.

Watch for LGBTQ+ representation

alongside family struggles and worries

about the future.

Amélie

(2001)

Breaking the fourth wall every now and

then, the film is hyper-realistic and

childlike.

At the heart is hope and an appreciation

for the small things. Amélie teaches us

that it’s okay to have quirks and to be

different. Ideal for the student suffering

from the subtle but constant feeling of

being out of place.

20 SCANLU


L I F E S T Y L E

LIFESTYLE EDITORS:

Alex Oswald

Harriet Shillito

A Grand Tour of Lancaster’s

Indie Coffee

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

As a student in a small and

historic city, coffee shops will

inevitably become a part of your

weekly routine.

They’re the perfect place to study,

socialise, and unwind.

Here are the best independent cafés

to stop you throwing your money

away at Costa.

1. Holm

@HolmCoffeeLancaster

The most unique

themed coffee shop in

Lancaster, this Nordic

café and grocery

shop, is holm to

coffee, cake, and good

company.

With a selection of

boardgames, books,

and art created by local

artists, Holm provides a

comforting environment.

Enjoy a wide variety of teas,

coffees, and other unique Nordic

drinks such as ‘Chocolate O’Boy’

in their cosy lounge area and

summertime garden.For a quick

lunch to eat-in or take-away, the

wraps, sandwiches, and pastries are

perfect.

But the star of the show is the £5

Fika Deal, routed in the Swedish

culture of sweet treats, caffeine, and

socialising with friends. For just a

fiver you can get any hot drink and

any home-made cake from the

counter.

As a pet-friendly

space, you

can

Shops

almost guarantee a

visit from one of the regular pups as

you munch a cinnamon bun on the

couch or as you try and refrain from

eating an entire box of ginger ‘Anna’

biscuits which come with every

drink.

Situated at 22 King Street, Holm is

across the road from the Primark

bus

stop, making

i t

convenient

for a quick stop on the way to

the train station.

Try something new and join

the secret drawing club or craft

workshops regularly held in the

café.

2. Brew

@brew.lancaster

Sat at the end of Brock Street, Brew

is well known amongst Lancaster

locals for the coffee, cakes, brunch

selection, and smiling faces.

All the cakes, sandwiches,

and pastries at the

counter are handcrafted

and they offer

a wide selection of

vegan, vegetarian,

and gluten-free

alternatives.

A little-known

gem of the café

is that they make

celebration cakes

with Baked by Brew

so the birthdays in

the flat are covered.

For a strong start to your

day, or a midday

pick-me-up, the

Big Brew Breakfast

sandwich is an

obvious choice.

Filled with chilli

jam, egg, meat (or

an alternative) and a

huge home-made bun,

you might struggle to

finish it.

The quality of the food, as well

as the coffee is incredible, and the

best part is you can take it away for a

brew on the go before the big grocery

shopping trip.

With a homely outdoor seating area

decorated with fairy lights and

classic iron tables, the garden

compliments the interior with

hanging plants and smooth

music.

Show your student ID this

month only for 10% off.

3. The

Herbarium

@theherbariumbar

O n e

o f

Lancaster’s most

praised cafés and bar, sat at 5-7

Great John Street, The Herbarium

is a 100% plant-based café, serving

food, alcohol, and coffee.

The rustic décor is complemented

by the modern touches of neon

signs, plants (of course), plus cosy

and mismatched furniture. Their

up-cycled decorations complete the

insta-worthy aesthetic.

Relaxing and welcoming, it’s also a

great place to feel close to likeminded

people, whether that be those who

share your diet and lifestyle or via the

community

blackboard,

which advertises current

events in Lancaster.

On top of their wide range of

hot, cold, and alcoholic drinks

(including the infamous Mermaid

Matcha Latte), you have plenty of

fully plant-based and gluten free,

hot meals, sandwiches, cakes, and

bakes.

Their always-updating menu fits

with seasonal trends and even

includes dishes on trial.

For a quiet break away from the

bustle of the town centre (and the

likely pouring rain) shelter in ‘the

Snug’ with a plant-based Lemon and

Blueberry cake.

4. The Music

Room

@musicroomcafe

Hidden away in

a small, cobbled

square on Sun

Street, The Music

Room is a café with

an indoor upstairs

balcony and the main

character vibes you

need while you work

on that essay, your next

book, or study to the lo-fi

music over the speakers.

Serving home-made cakes and more,

The Music Room is supplied a scope

of teas, coffees, and chocolate from

world-famous Atkinsons.

A hot herbal tea accompanied by

a fruit and nut loaf cake up on the

balcony with a good book just makes

the academic dream of your teendrama

fantasy come true. With

room to catch rays in summer on the

outdoor benches, or set up camp in

the corner table with a pot of tea in

winter, what more could you want?

Lancaster:

Where to get

inked & pierced

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Whether you want matching ink with

your sports team, or a new piercing

that mum would never approve of,

our friends at Voodoo Lounge have

got you (and your wallet) covered.

Leroy & Megan

@LeroyCooksonTattoo

@MegSilcockTattoo

Leroy and his apprentice, Megan,

offer pre-drawn flash card tattoos,

featuring anime, Star Wars, and game

designs. Plus cute and simple line

drawings perfect for your first tattoo!

You can trust them to design you

something unique, in colour or black

and grey.

Myself and other members of SCAN

have had tattoos from Megan

and Leroy. Trust me, they don’t

disappoint.

Chris

@Chris_Piercing_Parker

Chris offers ear, face, and body

piercings with a range of studs and

hoops to choose from. He’ll help you

decide what’s right for you.

With such a welcoming and relaxed

environment, the team at Voodoo are

always willing to answer questions

and see you for follow-ups or advice,

either in the shop on Slip Inn Lane

or in their DMs.

Get 10% off your next tattoo

with Leroy and Megan or

next piercing with Chris

when you bring this copy of

SCAN!

L I F E S T Y L E


SCANLancaster

21

Affordable and Realistic Cupboard

Staples for a Shared Uni Kitchen

3 Budget

Meals to Try

Apple Crumble

3 apples, 140g sugar, 175g

plain flour, 110g butter

1. Core and slice the apples then toss with 2tbsp

sugar and press into a baking tray.

2. Mix flour and sugar a rub in butter until it

resembles breacrumbs.

3. Pour over apples, press down; bake for 35 mins

at 190C

Stuffed Peppers

2 bell peppers, 50g rice,

veggies of choice

1. Roast the peppers at 220C for 20 mins.

2. Boil the rice for 30 mins (or use leftover).

3. Fry up some veggies with your choice of spices.

4. Stuff the peppers with rice and veggies (optional:

top with cheese).

5. Bake at 220C for 12 mins.

Bread Dough

Active dry yeast, sugar, oil,

560g flour, salt

1. Stir the yeast, a cup of warm water, sugar, and

2tbsp oil in a bowl. Let sit 10 mins.

2. Mix flour, salt, and previous mixture. Knead for

5 mins.

3. Put in lightly oiled bowl, cover, and hide

somewhere warm for 1 hour. Punch to release gas.

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

We’ve all heard that students cook the same

pesto pasta and frozen pizza every night, and

as fun as it is to mock, it isn’t too far from the

truth.

With the cost of living only increasing, it’s

becoming harder to find a variety of decent, cheap

meals to cook.

I’ve worked as Duty Manager at a

supermarket all the way through

college, the pandemic, and

university. I’ve been the one

putting the yellow stickers

on all the bread and the

one changing the price

tickets, watching as

items double in cost

literally overnight.

So, here are the

tricks I’ve learned,

either side of the

till.

Tinned

Foods

Anything that comes in a

can will be your best friend,

especially in first year when

fridge and freezer space is limited.

Chopped tomatoes can be

the cheapest pasta sauce and

minestrone soup in a fl ask

makes a mid-winter lecture more

bearable.

Chickpeas replace chicken in almost every onepot

meal and baked beans work in a chilli or on

toast.

Tins may be a pain to carry back to campus,

and up three flights of stairs but if you’re an

online delivery kind of person, most in-person

supermarkets have a budget or saver line

where you can get the same item for

25p instead of the branded £1.30

option.

It all tastes the same when

your eyes are closed.

Pasta

It’s an obvious one, I

know. As is rice. But

I can’t stress enough

how changing the

pasta changes the

meal.

I can no longer buy fusilli

because I am sick to death

of it but the small novelty

of choosing a more exciting

shape, like conchiglie or farfalle,

when the boring bag of penne runs

out adds a pinch of excitement.

If you want to treat yourself, you can nab some of

Aldi’s dinosaur tricolour pasta or Lidl’s seasonal

shapes. And just you wait until the seasonal

novelty pastas hit the shelves! (Footballs for the

Euros and the bunnies at Easter are my personal

favourites.)

Sauce and Spices

A jar of mixed herb seasoning and a bottle of

barbecue sauce sits at less than £1. Yet makes such

a versatile combination.

A lot of the time, you can throw some random

spices and your favourite sauce into diced chicken

for your fajitas for a marinade that feels more like

a meal from home (and costs less than the Old El

Paso kits).

My personal recommendations,

that I use almost daily, are smoked

paprika, honey barbecue sauce,

garlic paste, Italian herbs, and

dark soy sauce.

Frozen Vegetables

A freezer, rather than a store-cupboard staple, but

if you’re using your little drawer for anything, let it

be a kilo of frozen mixed veg.

Throw it in anything, pot or pan, and it only takes

five minutes to defrost and cook, while you wait

for your flat roast dinner to finish in the oven.

For a pound or less, it practically doesn’t expire,

and adds a bit more sustenance to your cooking,

keeping you fuller for longer.

Hidden Gems of Campus

Amelia Daniels

CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR

With the largest university campus in the UK,

it’s easy to see how the average Lancaster

student won’t experience every inch of their

new home.

S o ,

browse

this list to

find your new

favourite spot

on

campus.

Barker House Farm

Arguably, the biggest and best social space on

campus, Barker House Farm is part of Carmel

Collage.

Barker has something for everyone and the only

time you’ll see it busy is when it’s hosting an

event. There’s a big open space with sofas and

pool tables for hanging out with friends. Plus a

quiet study space in the old farmhouse, a music

practice room, bar, and a grassy spot out the

back to enjoy when the sun shines.

Health Innovation

Campus

This may seem even more of

a faff than getting to Barker

but this building will

make you wish you’d

chosen medicine.

Inside

are

some

great

study

and

social

spaces.

There’s plenty

of space to

relax outside and

enjoy a moment of

Lancaster sunshine or

host midnight 100m races with

your friends. Plus, outside is a buried a time

capsule!

It’s definitely a place for making memories.

The Woodland Trial

(Adventurers Edition)

The woodland trail is a great space to get

some exercise or clear your head after hours of

quantum mechanics.

If you’re after a bit more of a challenge, head onto

the lower half of the path that runs right along

the motorway. Running club members may be

familiar with this single-track path. The easiest

way to find this path is to join the track by the

Computing and Communications building.

Walking anticlockwise, you will find a steep path

t h a t

leads down the hill. Once on the

secondary path, follow it

to the left and it will

join back up to

the main trail.

A

real

hidden

gem

of

campus

are

the

studentm

a d e

mud skate

ramps.

Postgrad Study Pods

(Pictured)

Now, freshers is not just about undergraduates.

While walking around the wooded spaces of

campus, you might stumble across theses eggshaped,

wood-cladded study pods. These are

for the exclusive use of postgraduate students

and offer a space away from the bustle of central

campus.

Outside of LICA, these are often free all-hours of

the day. So, if you want some peace and quiet or

you like to pretend you’re an alien from space,

these pods would be great for you.

The Tree at County Main

As an English student, I can tell you County Main

looks like the ugliest waffle you’ve ever seen - but

it’s also pretty amazing.

You’ve seen Norma (the tree) in the library, and

you know about Norman who came before her.

The County tree, however, is far more majestic.

There are many great places on campus to eat, to

hang out with friends, to stargaze, or to study.

These are all the more fun when you discover

these treasures for yourself. Go forth and find

your own hidden gems of campus after you’ve

fallen in love with these.

L I F E S T Y L E

22 SCANLU


Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Obviously moving to a new city and living

with strangers (and without parental

supervision) is going to come with a lot of

new experiences.

Here are a few tips we’ve learned to help you

navigate your first term at university:

1. Take an ethernet cable

As reliable as Eduroam is on your phone, your

laptop and PC can struggle. Connecting to the

ethernet can boost your Wi-Fi speeds and make

that coursework research a doddle. Simply plug

in at the outlet at your desk and straight into your

computer (depending on the make and model).

Don’t make the mistake of buying a 60cm from

Amazon for £8 though because these cables are

free from all the porters lodges.

Moodle will definitely crash on the first day of

term, so use your decent internet to make sure

you download your timetable and anything else

you might need from the site.

Just remember that games consoles don’t work

Eduroam. You can play privately but consoles

don’t have Eduroam access so no more Animal

Crossing parties until Christmas, I’m afraid.

2. Student discounts and

Unidays

Most places have a form of student discount so it

certainly pays to ask.

10% student discount can be used in the bigname

shops like New Look and River Island, but

only on full price items. Some stores ask to see a

Unidays ID or code while many accept student

ID, so it’s best to have all bases covered.

At shops like Waterstones and Superdrug, you

can get student discount but only if

you have their rewards card.

9 times out of 10, you

can get the app for instore.

Some shops

like Iceland

a n d

Bodyshop,

d o

student

discount

f l a s h

events,

w h e r e

for a

limited

t i m e

you can

receive a

discount,

usually in

the early days

of term.

Always check if

these have conditions

like minimum spends or

exclusions.

3. Lancaster Buses 101

Firstly, get the Stagecoach app so you can track

live bus times.

Secondly, ask for an Under-19s Day Rider (it’s

cheaper than a return).

Lancaster #LifeHacks

Third, here’s what you need to know about the

bus numbers. The 1, 1A, 41, and 42 take a direct

route from the underpass to town. Whereas the

100 and 4 take about half an hour because they

go around Hala and Bowerham

before town.

If you’re getting

on a bus from

South campus

(Lonsdale

and Cartmel

areas), get

on at the

Graduate

bus stop

to avoid

t h e

wait at

Cartmel

w h e r e

the diver

t a k e s

t h e i r

break.

Don’t forget

to check

where the bus is

going by reading

the screen on the

front,. You might find

yourself heading to Preston

when you wanted to be going

into town!

4. The library is your new

best mate

You don’t need to spend £100 on books for your

course!

Get to the library quick and grab your textbooks

here, for free!

Place your books on the self-service checkout

station, scan your library card and you’re good

to go. Put the return date in your calendar for

motivation to actually read the book, or check

that it’s self-renewing.

5. Second-year housing

This will quickly come up in your flat. Followed

by the emails and ads rolling into your inbox.

But, don’t rush into anything.There will always

be houses, flats, and rooms available. Don’t

let anyone tell you that they’ll all be gone by

November - this is a myth.

If you haven’t found anyone to move in with for

next year, join one of the university’s forums to

find new housemates. Meet with strangers and

take a gamble, in a house, flat, or on campus

again. Alternatively, ask around in socieites,

group chats, or consider renting alone next year.

When it comes to finding a house or flat for next

year, get a few options together. Consider: rent

per week, bathrooms, bedrooms, washer/dryer,

location, security, space, landlord/agency, and

whatever else matters to you.

Always view all of your options in-person

before making a decision. Before you move in,

communicate with the landlord and ask some

questions about the house. You don’t want

to be caught out with a crumbling house and

incompetent landlord.

You have to do what feels right for you at the time.

This might be that you want to stay on campus

in second year. So many students come back to

campus in their later years for the ease of it.

Th e B e n e fi t s of Being a Society Butterfly

Alexander Oswald

LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Although joining can be a daunting task,

since the pandemic, societies are crucial for

students and often considered one of the

highlights of university life.

Every year, universities across the country

host Freshers Fairs to mark the start of a new

academic year. With such a wide range of

societies from Doctor Who to Acapella, exploring

new hobbies and interests has never been easier.

But what are the benefits

of joining societies at uni?

While moving to university is exciting, it can also

be nerve-wracking.

Some quickly spark up friendships, while others

struggle and often feel isolated. This is where

societies can really benefit students’ mental and

physical health.

Societies are the perfect place for students

to explore new hobbies and find like-minded

colleagues in new social circles, whether that’s

during a band rehearsal or a Taylor Swift social.

Societies have a variety of activities and events

throughout the year to make sure that everyone’s

interests are catered for.

If you aren’t too fussed about

drinking socials, there may

well be excursions or even

conferences that are more

your speed.

Since societies are for the students, every society

is student-led. Individuals are elected each year

onto executive committees responsible

for organising events and helping

members with any

issues

they

may face.

Often, students struggle to find time for exercise

while adjusting to uni life and this can make

adjusting even harder. Regular exercise, whether

that’s running or playing frisbee in the park,

can drastically improve mental health and

motivation.

Joining a sports society

can make finding

motivation a lot easier.

Lancaster University has a variety of sports

societies that students can get involved with,

whether that’s yoga, dance, or calisthenics.

Most sports societies have regular training

sessions, student-led classes, and workshops.

These are all brilliant opportunities for students

to get more involved with sports and help

balance their studies and mental health.

Broadening your focus is the

key to a happier, healthier, and

more balanced university life.

That’s what societies are all

about.

As university students, we have all chosen to

further our studies, in hope of deepening our

knowledge and expertise. But that pursuit for

knowledge doesn’t need to stop with your degree.

Explore every weird and wonderful passion

or interest you can, because your crowd is out

there, and so is the opportunity to make your

experience at Lancaster exactly what you want

it to be.


SCANLancaster

23

Wellbeing & Mental Health

Resources

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Though we hear the term

‘homesick’ thrown around a

lot, anyone who has made the

move to uni will tell you that it’s

Nightline

normal to feel lonely and a little

disconnected.

01524 594 444 (10PM-8AM)

At Lancaster, there’s a range of

welfare and mental health resources

available for students to get through

this period:

Students’ Union

Advice Service

advice@lancastersu.co.uk

The Advice

Service is a free,

non-judgmental,

and confidential

support service.

The team of

professional

advisors can

support any

registered students

at Lancaster

University.

Separate from the

university, this is

an independent

service so they’re

best placed to

provide students

with impartial

advice on

academic, housing,

and wellbeing

issues.

Equally, if you have an issue and don’t

know who to go to, LUSU Advice

will be able to point you in the right

direction.

In partnership with the local police

constabulary and Lancashire Victim

Services, the Students’ Union is also

an official Third-Party Hate Crime

Reporting Centre.

1. What is

your morning

routine?

A

B

C

Roll

Wake up early, make

the bed, and get

ready for the day.

Check emails, check

notifications, check

social media. Coffee.

out of bed late

and run straight to

my lecture.


Counselling and

Mental Health

Service

counselling@lancaster.ac.uk

This team of qualified and professional

mental health practitioners are

members of staff at the university.

Though the waiting list and

availability of this service is limited,

it’s a good place to turn for shortterm

support or an introduction into

therapy and other long-term support.

This includes counsellors,

psychological therapists, specialist

trauma therapy, and mental health

advisors, and the College Wellbeing

Officers.

2. Which of these

makes you feel

the most joy?

A

B

C

Kitchen

Plans getting

cancelled.

Sunsets and autumn

leaves.

karaoke

and impromptu

dance party.

Which self care

day should you

try out this week?

College Advisory

Teams

[college name]cat@lancaster.ac.uk

The CAT’s job takes on a pastoral

role, where students can talk about

problems regarding university life,

homesickness, wellbeing, and, if

needed, be directed to more specialist

help.

This is available to all students

within their own college and can be

contacted at any point for support.

The College Advisory Teams are not

trained counsellors but will be able to

offer well-informed advice for issues

related to the university and are

able to offer alternate resources and

contacts.

3. Which animal

would you sneak

into your flat?

A

B

C

A

Mostly A’s -

Spa Day

It’s time to pamper you!

Get some Aldi face masks,

run a hot bath/shower,

and stick a comfort film

on.

A dozy rabbit that

likes to nap.

A bumbling little

hedgehog.

duck! We can steal

food together.

Ran by students in term time,

Nightline is a completely anonymous

listening and information service.

Though volunteers are not

professionals, they’re trained to offer

a confidential and non-judgemental

listening ear.

phone.

Mostly B’s -

Off to Nature

You need to get back to

the wild, gorgeous!

Go for a stroll to Clougha

Pike or the campus

woodland trail.

You can also join

Nightline as a

volunteer.

Lancaster

Medical

Practice:

01524 551 551

For serious medical

advice, anyone

registered with

Lancaster Medical

Practice GP can call

for an appointment,

prescription issues

or any further help.

Alternatively, avoid

the 10-50min hold

time and use Online

Consult to send your

enquiry without

speaking on the

Appointments can be in-person or

over the phone and qualified GPs can

help with a wide range of medical

issues.

In emergency situations use 111 or

999.

4. What is causing

you the most stress

right now?

A

B

C

The

Essays, coursework,

additional reading.

Take your pick.

Friendship/

relationship drama.

future. People

keep asking what

I want to do. How

would I know?

Mostly C’s -

Messy Night Out

Go absolutely feral, you

party diva!

Dress up, feel sexy, and

dance it out with your fav

people or go it alone.

L I F E S T Y L E

Student

Discount

Cheat Sheet

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Although most of us were very

quick to download UNIDays as

soon as we finished our GCSE’s,

there are plenty of deals, discounts,

and offers you won’t want to miss

out on, both online and on the

highstreet.

Ikea

Although all uni accomodation comes

furnished, you can never have too

many storage boxes, bedsheets, and

kitchen utensils. Save £10 when you

spend £75.

Wilko

It’s inevitable you’ll have forgotten

something in the chaos of the big

move, and where better to go than

Wilko? Save £5 of £50 online or in store

Spotify

Apologies to Apple Music users, but if

you haven’t already, be sure to sign up,

or convert your account to a student

account to save a few quid a month.

Waterstones

Ask at the till for a student card. The

cashier will direct you to the website to

register with your student address, and

be sure to hand the card in every time

you shop for a 5% discount.

Superdrug

Similar to Boots, all you need is to

download the Superdrug app and

register a Beauty Card in order to

recieve 10% student discount in store,

and online at specified time.

Amazon Prime

Make the most of a 6-month free trial

with a student prime membership.

Order some decorations for your room,

a blender to try your hand at smoothie

making, or binge the latest series on

prime video.

Body Shop

Treat yourself to some sustainable,

fancy soaps and shower gel to wash

away the post-freshers hangover with

15% off in store and online.

Anyvan

The taxi of parents and carers just

about worked the first time around,

with boxes and bags overflowing from

the boot on to your lap. Now, the £10

off at Anyvan might be a more sensible

option for the next move in summer.

L I F E S T Y L E

24 SCANLU


An Introvert’s

somewhere I don’t Make The Most

want to be, to please

others.”

Of Wintry

Guide to

People who care about

you will understand

lose hope.

Lancaster

your need to recharge

so don’t be worried to turn down

2.

the odd event when you’re feeling 5 Things To Do

Balancing

socially drained.

Self-Care


Despite what social media says, not

everyone is out with their friends all DESIGN MANAGER

of the time. Making time to be alone

Maria Hill

friendly and sit in the kitchen while

doesn’t make you a loner.

eating, that’ll get you talking more

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

with them.”

So you’re surrounded by a

gaggle of strangers, away from

your support system at home,

worrying about modules. This

is a stressful time for everyone.

If you’re an introvert, however,

it’s easy to get overwhelmed by

it all.

Fear not! Here’s a guide on how

you can survive (and flourish) in

university as an introvert, written

by fellow introverts.

1. Making Friends

Carly Jung defines an introvert as

someone who turns to their own

minds to recharge.

Around 50% of the British

population identify as introverted

according to a YouGov survey.

Introverts can find socialising in

large groups draining.

Stereotypes about uni life would

have you believe that the only way

to make friends is to get drunk in

large social gatherings, but

indulging in drinking

culture isn’t the only

way to make friends.

Fellow introvert and second-year

student, Sky Fong, suggests making

friends with your flatmates.

“ T r y

to

be

Asking your flatmates to attend

freshers socials with you is a great

way to spend some quality time

with them, too. There are quiz and

games nights for those who aren’t

comfortable with the drinking

scene and prefer a quieter form of

socialising.

If you don’t click with anyone in

your flat, don’t worry! There are

many societies on campus where

you can find people with similar

interests. Have a look on the

student’s union page: lancastersu.

co.uk/groups.

One of the easiest ways to make

friends is to network. Be brave and

DM someone you know on your

course, get involved in group-chats,

and follow freshers pages.

Remember that messaging

strangers only awkward if you make

it awkward – people want to make

friends!

Don’t panic if in a

week, or even a

month, you haven’t

found your ‘clique’.

This isn’t high school. Uni isn’t a

popularity contest. You’ll make

more friends throughout the year

as you get to meet new people. The

people I consider found family now,

I didn’t start hanging out with until

second term.

Perhaps your future

friends are just as

shy as you, so

d o n’ t

Introverts are more

prone to social

burnouts than extraverts who get

their energy from being around

people. Although both categories

can experience exhaustion,

especially with academia thrown

into the mix, it’s important for

introverts in particular to make

time for quiet self-care.

Self-care can be hard. With no one

around to tell us to eat healthy or

that we deserve a nice long shower,

it’s easy to fall into

the trap of thinking

that self-care is an

indulgence rather than

a necessity.

Even in the middle of exam season,

it’s important to make time for the

things we know will make us happy.

Write a list of things that calm you.

Make sure to do them regularly.

For me, I like to go on walks.

Lancaster University is a naturerich

campus and has been awarded

the Green Flag Award for ten

years in a row. There are many

scenic routes to wander down and

performing this low-maintenance

exercise is a perfect way to help

your mental health.

As an introvert, another imperative

form of self-care is setting

boundaries.

Second-year Sociology student,

Abbie Ward, stresses the

importance of knowing and

communicating our needs to

others.

“Having alone time, even in the

first week, is important. I’d rather

s p e n d time looking after

myself

than

b e i n g

3. Being Yourself

whilst Finding

Yourself

This period of your life is a time

for self-exploration. You’re only at

University once, so make the most

of it and live without regrets.

Sometimes, stepping out of your

comfort zone (within limits) has the

potential to teach you new things

about yourself, other people, and of

life in general.

It’s okay if the idea of clubbing

makes you anxious. However, if

you’re curious about the experience

and would like to try it at least once

then pushing past your anxiety

could lead to some amazing

memories.

I didn’t go clubbing until third term,

after finding close friends I felt

safe going with, and despite being

somewhat anxious, I had a fun time.

It’s easy to say, ‘just be

yourself’

but the idea of self is vague to even

the brightest philosophers and

psychologists.

At the end of the day, it’s okay not

to know who you are. You’re still

finding your footing.

But if you stick to your likes and

dislikes, taking time to find your

own balance between academics,

self-care, and socialising, you will

flourish at university, while making

friends who accept and value you

for you.

It may be cold and miserable but winter

also brings snow, festivities, and early

nightfall perfect for a not-too-late evening

party.

Spring is due to start with the equinox on 20th

March this year. That gives you several weeks

to make the most of winter and all it has to

offer in Lancaster.

1. Make your own Hot

Choclate Station

As much as we love a large hot chocolate with

all the frils from Costa before a 9am lecture, the

cost quickly adds up.

Buy your own hot choclate powder, cream,

marshmallows, flakes and any other toppings

you might fancy. As well as your choice of

milk and for less than a tenner the whole flat

have their own personalised gourmet hot

chocolates from the comfort of you own home.

2. Take a blanket to

Williamson Park and try

stargazing

One of the best things about winter is the clear

night skies:. Take some snacks and a blanket

(and some bin bags to lay down underneath if

the ground is wet).

Then, lie back and enjoy the stars in the sky.

Where better than Ashton Memorial Hill?

3. Host a sparkler night

with your flat

Find environmentally-friendly sparklers, find a

safe open place outside after dark, and channel

your inner child. Use the light painting settings

on your phone’s camera to get some great

shots, too.

4. Stroll around the high

street Chinese New Year

lanterns

Stroll down Lancaster’s high street and enjoy

the bunting up for Chinese New Year in

February.

Navigating

Freshers

Take a camera for some great photos and visit

some of Lancaster’s Chinese businesses to

bring in the new year.

5. Say goodbye to the

winter solstice with a

(safe) bonfire

Most bonfire laws are about how much of

a disturbance they cause. You cannot burn

household waste, allow smoke to drift across a

road, or cause a nuisance.

Build a safe bonfire (check for hedgehogs!),

research the how to light and douse, and get

some vegan marshmallows!


SCANLancaster

25

CREATIVE WRITING

CREATIVE

WRITING TEAM:

Amelia Daniels

& Sky Fong

Fresher’s Writing

Competition

WINNER

Longing

Sahana Mira S

When you’re a love child of autumn rain and abandoned cities,

Your name sounds like a forgotten language in everyone’s

tongue.

You only yearn for a lover to call your name like it’s a morning

prayer,

Tape recorder singing a love song on loop, all the moons of

Jupiter.


You only long for things that feel like sunshine–

Spring, smiles, snuggles, sage green evenings

And sweet nothings.


You only wish to go to a safe little abode

Which is unfl ooded, unfl inching, unbroken

To rest your tender bones.


You don’t know how to talk about love without talking about

longing.

Comments from the Editor

A longing is “a love song on loop” – with uses of the

refrain, sibilance, assonance, and repetition – all

contributing to such a desperate yearning to be loved.

The poem has an intricately planned structure that ties

tightly with the refrain. The second-person narrative

also draws the reader into the persona’s mindset,

crafting the experience so vividly.

This was my favourite from all our submissions as

the language and imagery combine together to paint

a really intimate and beautiful scene, a very worthy

winner.

All illustrations by Amy Brook,

SCAN Resident Artist

RUNNERS-UP

keys

she walks home in the dark

(me between her fingers)

i kiss her cold knuckles

with my brass lips.

godless creatures

spill out of the shadows

(ungeheures Ungeziefer)

i am her lion’s claws.

and maybe if the moon wasn’t

and maybe if the dark wasn’t either

i could slide my serrated elbows into her door

twist the other way / turn the other cheek

she could walk home at night

and not pray to the goddess

who protects young women.


the expiration date

of holy water

Long pews are home to loneliness.

Unspoken secrets bury themselves in the cracks of rotting wood

that whisper and groan under the weight of fickle devotion,

out of sync with the hymns.

Desperation is warm and sticky beneath modest clothing.

It drowns my breasts in the shame of last night

as I long for the cold, cleansing absolution

trickling over a screaming infant’s head.

Twenty years since I cried holy water like that

and now my eyes are dry as sweat turns to chemical glue.

The fabric burying the mark of a stranger’s mouth

melts into a new layer of untouched skin.

Now I can pray to the miracle of a virgin birth

whilst kneeling in a puddle of ironic sin.

Luce Jones

Comments from

the Editor

‘keys’ is a poem with such a firm

message – the disgust towards those

ungeheures Ungeziefer preying on

young women in the dark.

This is an empowering poem

told brutally through a unique

perspective of the keys. “brass lips”,

“lion’s claw”, and “serrated elbows”

are some of the most meticulous

depictions, personalising the keys

strikingly.

We have not changed the structure

of Elizabeth’s poem, they have

written it as such, and I believe it

adds a unique flavour to the poem

that makes it stand out.

‘The Expiration Date of Holy Water’

has undeniably the best title out

of all submissions. This is a poem

about the expiring effect of religion

on the persona.

The progression and downfall of

the persona are handled brilliantly.

It scathingly points out the rotting

morals within the church with

stunning imagery such as “sweat

turns to chemical glue”.

The semantic theming of the

poem and the nature of the

poetic narrative contradict, yet

compliment, one another really

well.

26 C R E A T I V E W R I T I N G

SCANLU


Th e Weight of

His hair is dark, matted with sheets bunched up around our feet. He

sweat like morning dew, runs hot. Too hot. When his lips found

and when I comb my fingers that spot under my jaw, we forgot each

through, they tangle. He other for an instant and I felt fire in my

mumbles in his sleep and I pull my hand throat.

back before he wakes.

The sound of the motorway rumbles

the walls. I thought it would keep me

awake all night but, between the growl

of endless engines and his soft snores,

I slept deeper than I can remember.

Perhaps ever. I wonder if he’ll let me stay

here again?

Skimming my fingertips down the olive

slope of his back, I trace the ridges of

tight-packed muscle. He’s coveredin

tattoos. Black winding licks of flame,

dead fire. Last night, I kissed my way

across them to hear him hiss.

He murmurs in his sleep again and I

catch the clipped lilt of a language I

never learned. Last night, he gasped so

hard that all the air left his lungs and

right on the tail of his breath, he choked

out something ancient.

I hold the sound of it behind my ribs

and, as his eyes dance under his eyelids,

I bring it to the dip of my tongue and let

it rest there, testing the weight of a dead

language.

I feel like a priest. I feel damned. I feel the

taste of divinity electrify my mouth and

warm my belly, like the first time a junkie

slides a needle into her veins and feels

addiction glide into her bloodstream

like religion.

I run my fingers over the ghost of a kiss

and feel blisters.

Instead, I think about sinking both

hands into the ground, pressing my

mouth against dead earth and howling.

I think about how loud I must scream

for him to hear me down there, for him

to know that I would give up my eyes, my

womb, would walk without a shadow if

he asked it.

His lips are red and bitten. He pouts in

his sleep.

Do priests get to see this side of their

gods? Do they spend their lives giving,

giving, giving just for a glance at their

god?

This god, vulnerable and sleep-soft.

Or would that ruin the image? That

ever-winding tapestry in their minds of a

god they’ve never seen but know better,

surer, than the life-echo pulsing through

bodies that have never tasted sin.

I think about him rising from ash and

stone, how the grass turned black and

died at his feet.

How he blushed.

I think about picking at these blisters,

scarring my skin with his lips. I think

about etching my name into the planes

of his back, slicing my chest open and

leaving some piece of me here, dripping

blood into the floorboards so prayer feels

less like shouting into a wind tunnel and

more like sharing two cans on a string.

I think I could maybe pray. I could get

down on my knees, skin to stone, tilt my

head away from everything I know, and

whisper his name.

Stone

But his skin is too warm. The window

is wide

open, the Instead, I crack open his calcified heart,

Comments from

the Editor

Beth’s understanding of rhythm and

tone is just wonderful. Her work is poetic

and profound, yet unpretentious and

relatable.

This story feels like a secret shared in the

dark, when you’re exhausted and can’t

tell where your body ends, and the bed

begins.

All the art accompanying our creative

writing winners is original artwork from

our Arts Associate Editor, Amy Brook.

To see more of Amy’s work you can follow

her Instagram @pidgequill

“Forgive me,” I say, as he blinks open

those eyes like volcanic glass, “I was

hungry.”

PROSE WINNER

swallow seven seeds, and press my redstained

lips into his shoulder.

Elizabeth

by

Train-Brown

C R E A T I V E W R I T I N G


SCANLancaster

27

RUNNERS-UP

Morrigan

The only sound in the sheltered valley

was the constant cawing of the murder

of crows who sat watching over the endless

cemeteries of crops. Birds persisted throughout

the chaos, flourishing to create airborne diseases that

killed off more than a million of the original survivors.

Their black cloaks shielded them from the harsh

northerly wind, and their cruel beaks pinched tight as

their beady, soulless eyes steadily surveyed the dismal,

almost pitiful, remnants of humankind.

Only a few in this area had survived to this point —

against all odds and amongst all struggles. One of

them was Morrigan. Utterly alone, she was now left to

contend with surviving further into a future that was no

longer certain.

Morrigan Watson’s young, 14-year-old body was not yet

fully developed, though elements of a woman’s aspect

were certainly on the bleak horizon of her life. Amongst

all that had changed, the continuation of time persisted;

no matter how slow the days ebbed on, the flow of the

years would not be ceased — regardless of whether or

not there was anyone left to witness the passage of time.

Hunger and thirst had caved in her face, hollowing

out her sallow cheeks and further enlarging those

mellow brown eyes that had witnessed countless aeons

of suffering. Weeks

Comments

from the Editor

Sunset Years speaks of a wish for a future

I’d feel lucky to live. It manages love and

loss in such a sympathetic way, you can’t

help but feel joy, rather than sadness at

hearing of it.

The references to the changing seasons

truly makes it feel as if you are living this

love story alongside the couple.

without washing had

led to her dark raven

hair becoming stringy

and it hung limply in

ebony tendrils around

her small head as she

dutifully watched

over the graves of her

mother and her sister.

Her skin was dirty

and peeling under the

relentless heat of the

sun.

Despite still being a child, she had endured enough

hardships to last her several lifetimes over. But there

was something strong inside of her, something willing

Most days, at the same time, they would go and sit on

their bench. It’s something they had done together for

years and years, and it was time spent together that

he cherished deeply. The routine was always the same.

He would put on his hat and his coat if it was cold,

maybe his favourite green scarf. He would then go to

the kitchen, put the sandwich that she had made him

into his pocket, grab his keys, and then they would walk

down to the field.

In the winter, the ground was flat and frozen, scattered

with crunchy puddles and diamond-lined spiderwebs.

But as winter faded into spring, the flowers would

bloom like fireworks of purples and yellow. In the

summer, the branches of the trees grew outward and

proud, showing off their magnificent leaves for all to

see. Sometimes he would take out his camera to capture

its beauty, and sneakily take pictures of her, the beauty

he most admired. ‘You’re looking particularly beautiful

this evening, my love,’ he would say and she would smile

and hold him close.

On days when they didn’t make it to the bench, they

her to persist and keep struggling

on with life.

In some ways, she was just like the

crows, with her unruly inky

hair and her gaunt cheeks and

her sombre eyes. Maybe that

was why she’d been spared, for

now, so that she could become

a bird — just like her mother

always used to say she would.

“One day, you’ll be able to grow wings and fly far

away from here,” her mother would tell her after more

and more tales of woe over the decrepit radio. “And then

you’ll finally be safe.”

Then her mother would stroke her hair and hold her

close to her.

All that changed after the birds.

There are very few things in life that are worse than

death. Morrigan discovered this through the suffering of

her mother and her younger sister as the callous avian

influenza sucked the life force out of them. It drained

them before the scratching started.

Morrigan drew her knees up to her chest and hugged

them tightly. Their screams were forever imprinted into

her memory; how they’d cry and cry before screaming

and screaming for her to do something, anything.

Yet there was nothing she could do.

All she could hear was the birds, always the birds. It was

the birds that kept her awake at night, the birds that

constantly cawed their death song, the birds that were

forever watching and waiting, or so it seemed. The birds

brought Death to so, so many, but not to her.

Why not to her? The little girl didn’t understand why

she had been saved and her family had perished under

the summer heat, flies dancing around their broken and

battered bodies as Morrigan’s weak arms dug shallow

graves.

Identity became insignificant over the years, along with

money and belongings. Survival became humankind’s

first instinct, all else fell by the wayside. Morrigan clung

to her name: Morrigan Watson. Morrigan Watson.

Morrigan Watson. Repeating it like a mantra, lest she

forgets it or forgets the importance of holding on.

Yet she couldn’t remember the names of her mother

and her sister. It was as if she only had the mental

strength and capacity to remember her own name.

would sit in their conservatory and watch the birds

make nests in the apple tree at the end of their garden.

Sometimes, she would place sultanas on the windowsill,

and they would watch and admire the blackbirds that

came and took them away.

In autumn, as the leaves began to fall, and the flowers

and bees began to hide away, they would still go to the

bench. His walk would always be more staggered as he

impulsively stood on each crunchy leaf he could find,

always making her laugh. Sometimes he would pick one

up for her, a simple gift that she accepted like a bunch of

flowers. Even though there were more clouds in the sky,

it didn’t stop them from enjoying their time together.

Not because it was windy and cold, or because it would

rain on them from time to time, but because it made the

sunset no less spectacular.

And as the years went on, for them the routine was the

same. Mostly.

Most days, at the same time, he would go and sit on their

bench. He would put his hat down next to him, and eat his

Guilt crept in at the realisation of that, curling its fingers

around the back of her neck and gradually seeping into

her heart and soul.

She pushed it back. Morrigan Watson. Morrigan

Watson. Morrigan Watson—

Humanity was almost entirely gone. It was hard for

the girl to remember the time before the Fallouts, she

was still young, yet there must have been a few years of

peace. Somewhere in the past, there had to have been a

few years of peace. But she couldn’t remember anything

but the suffering from the Fallouts. Peace was a mere

concept she’d heard of, a simple definition of a state of

being she’d never experienced. Never known. Would she

ever truly experience such a thing as peace? The thought

was inconsequential; all that mattered was surviving to

the next day.

As she stared out across the barren landscape where

the cemetery of crops lay, Morrigan scratched her arm

absently; unbeknownst to her, her jagged, uncut nails

scratched against her skin and drew crimson pearls.

She couldn’t feel anything anymore. Physical pain and

suffering were only temporary, a transitory passing

compared to that of emotional suffering, which lasts for

eternity.

A lifetime of pain ago, there was a chance for Morrigan

to escape — a chance for her whole family to escape.

Then her mother and sister got sick, and the saviours

passed them over. The offer still remained to Morrigan;

the opportunity to find a new life, away from the pain

and the anguish. The name of this program had also

disappeared; it mustn’t have been of great importance

— its identity having paled into a mere shadow in

Morrigan’s mind.

But she couldn’t leave her mother and her sister. Not

even now, with their bodies buried beside her. She still

had to protect them, even now.

Scavengers roamed the entire earth. Humans and

animals alike. Even the dead could not find peace in the

afterlife. Morrigan had two duties: to survive for as long

as possible and to protect her family.

And still, the birds caw. The only sound around for miles.

By Hannah Cochrane

Sunset

Years

sandwich, even though it didn’t taste the same as it used

to. Every evening, he would take his camera, and capture

a picture of the sunset. ‘You’re looking particularly

beautiful this evening, my love’ he would say, staring

up and the rich pinks

and oranges being

thrown across the sky

from behind the hills

that were far off in the

distance. It lit up the

edges of the branches

that hung above him,

and the fading light

reached out to him, as

if she was holding him

once more.

By Elizabeth Brook

Comments

from the Editor

In Morrigan, Hannah’s narrative speaks of

a dystopia set in a world so like our own,

that it could make you question whether

this could be the fate of humanity.

The closeness of the reader to Morrigan

makes her experiences all the more real

and frightening we are forced to feel

young and vulnerable on adesolate,

unfeeling planet.

28

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29

S P O R T S

Th e B e n e fi t s of

Starting

Yoga at

University

An

Introvert’s

Guide To

Joining

Sports

Maria Hill

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

SPORTS EDITORS

Josh Perrett

& Tom Jeffreys

Sports societies. The foreign land of the

extraverted, full of close friends and

professional athletes. For an introvert

like myself, the prospect of walking into

such a wilderness can be more than a

little intimidating.

Once you get over the initial anxiety, however,

the experience is extremely rewarding. I

went from joining the HipHop society with

trembling knees to making great friends and

having a blast.

Harriet Shillito

LIFESTYLE EDITOR

The idea of yoga

can be daunting.

Many expect

they’ll have

to perform

e x t r e m e

contortionism,

others discard

yoga as a

bizarre ritual.

But what are

the benefits of

yoga and how

can it help destress?

A new term is dawning.

The lethargy of a hot

summer is wearing

thin, and students all over

the country are bubbling with

excitement. A new room, new friends,

new hobbies, new places, new modules, a new

frying pan!

But amidst all that excitement, the shadows

of stress loom behind every new beginning –

especially the first week of term.

SCAN spoke to Lancaster’s Yoga Society

(LUYogaSoc) about the transformative results of

practicing yoga and how the society has provide

a safe space for students to explore yoga as a

discipline.

Here are three reasons to start yoga at

university:

1. Soothes stress and

anxiety

The first week of term can feel like a

kick in the face. Information overload,

people everywhere, new course

material, plus the need to…well,

survive. Terrified?

But amidst all that stress, how good

are you at putting it aside and

spending quality time on your

wellbeing?

Now that’s a question that makes

us all want to plummet through

the floorboards.

Speaking with LUYogaSoc, they

explained that at yoga society

workshops, there’s no pressure

or judgment to participate with

different yoga poses.

“Yoga can

provides

time, and a

safe space

to focus on

the body,

the breath,

and the

brain.”

They felt this was

one of the main pillars

on which the society

has managed to build a

“friendly safe environment

for everyone to explore yoga

at their own pace.”

2. Physical wellbeing

One of the challenges athletes face (especially in

contact sports)

are aches, strains, torn

muscles,

and cramps. Yet, so

often at

university, athletes

forget that yoga

could be a

major asset

to

their

strength

and

conditioning

programmes.

LUYogaSoc

explained

that yoga can help

“strengthen

connective

tissues that support every

organ, joint, and bone,

meaning sports are much safer,

and injuries are much

less likely.”

“With

ongoing

and steady

practice, you’ll fi nd yourself

becoming more fl exible and

stronger, revitalised with a

new kinetic energy.”

The exec described yoga as “that delicious

morning stretch when you wake up” but for your

entire body.

3. Motivation and progress

To the most cynical eye, yoga is considered an

exclusive sport for either middle-class mums or

monks. So, how does the anxious, inexperienced

(and let’s face it, broke) university student fit into

that equation?

For students wanting to explore yoga on campus,

LUYogaSoc has classes that are twice as cheap

as those organised by yoga studios in the city

centre, with additional membership benefits also

provided through Freshers discounts and annual

society membership.

LUYogaSoc provides classes ranging from Hatha

yoga to Yin yoga plus mindfulness sessions, so

students can find out what they prefer.

Classes are open to all abilities and experienced

instructors can provide variations for different

poses to accommodate to your body. Plus all

the equipment is provided so it’s financially

accessible to everyone.

LUYogaSoc believes that yoga is

fundamental to making students happy,

and is key to a balanced, fulfilling, and

restorative lifestyle. Whether you’re

dragging yourself around until dawn,

fighting to keep fit, or fretting over

exams, always remember to take an hour

to breathe.

The nature of the practice is to slow

down, breathe, and think, so when

everything else is stripped away and

put on pause for half an hour, it

makes all the difference.

Giving yourself permission

to slow down and not be

with the things that are

stressful or upsetting for

even just a short period of

time is what it’s all about.

Some fellow introverts and I have complied

tips on how to feel more comfortable joining

sports societies in the hope that it’ll encourage

you to take up a physical activity too:

What’s for you?

Firstly comes the task of figuring out what

society is best for you. Jamie Glen, secondyear

student and member of the Mountain

Bike society, suggests looking online:

“There’ll most likely be a club Instagram or

Facebook page for the society where you can

find out how it runs and if it’s the right one

for you.

“Go to the freshers fair – all affiliated societies

will be there. They’ll want to get as many new

members as possible so ask the club reps

about any questions or concerns!”

You don’t need any prior

experience

There are misconceptions that all members,

be it from hockey to lyrical dance, have a

plethora of previous experience. In reality,

experience levels are much more variable.

“I was quite nervous when I decided to

join the Hip Hop society. I was unsure as to

whether I would be amongst professional

dancers or if there’d be a mixture of abilities.

Having spoken to the society via Instagram

beforehand, I eased a lot of my nerves,” said

second-year student Naomi Onakunle.

Invite friends

After picking your sports society, persuade a

flatmate or coursemate to join you. It’s a great

way to get to know them better and create

a bond. I made two of my closest friends on

campus through awkwardly inviting people I

didn’t know well to sports events.

As Naomi says, “If you go with someone you’re

comfortable with, it’ll make the experience

a lot more fun but even if you’re unable to

find someone to go with you, you should still

try and join anyway. At least you can say to

yourself ‘I tried’ instead of ‘I wish I had tried’.”

Throw yourself in

If you’re worried that you’re going to make a

total plonker of yourself, just remember that

you’ll never have to go back to the society

again if you don’t feel like it. Everyone will be

too busy focusing on themselves to remember

if you missed that goal or tripped up dancing.

Sports societies are a judgement-free zone.

As an introvert, a crowd of strangers is

nightmare inducing, but the majority of

people are very friendly. If you join during

freshers, you’ll meet a range of people who are

just as eager to make friends as you are.

30

Every

Sport on

Campus

Ami Clement

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Home of the biggest

varsity event in Europe,

Lancaster has a whole

host of sports clubs for

you to join.

American Football

Archery

Badminton

Basketball

Boat

Canoe

Cricket

Cycling

Equestrian

Fencing

Football

Futsal

Handball

Hockey

Korfball

Lacrosse

Netball

Pool and Snooker

Rugby League

Rugby Union

Running and Athletics

Sailing

Shooting

Snowsports

Squash

Swimming and Water

Polo

Table Tennis

Trampolining

Tennis

Ultimate Frisbee

Volleyball

Credit top to bottom p. 30:

@LUFencingClub, @Lancaster_Lax,

@LancasterUniversityCC, @Lancs_Handball

Credit top to bottom p. 31: LU Rugby

Union, @LancsChess, @LUTableTennis,

@LancsUniKorfball

Fencing

Josh Perrett

Fencing is definitely one of the

more unique sports at Lancaster

Uni.

The sport offers three different

weapons with the most popular

one being, a long, thin lightweight

foil. A fencing match is won by

scoring points using the weapon to

make contact with the opponent’s

body.

“We’re a super friendly club with

a warm atmosphere. We offer

coaching and matches to

experienced players plus

training for those new

Josh Perrett

to the sport. It helps to foster the

club’s strong sense of community

and belonging.

“When people say university

was the best time of their

lives, I strongly believe

they’re talking about the new

experiences they made with

the friendships they formed.

“As a club, we provide the

basis for that”.

“There will be times during which

uni stress seems to be too much.

Those are the times where it’s extra

Cricket

Cricket is a bat-and-ball game played between two

teams of eleven players each on a field, with the goal

to get as many “runs” in as possible after hitting the

ball.

The President of the Womens+ Cricket Club (Chika)

shared her experience:

“We have a chilled and friendly vibe within the club.

We’re a lovely group of girls who enjoy playing,

watching and talking about cricket but

who still want to succeed as much as

possible.

“It’s the ideal

Josh Perrett

valuable having a safe place to go

to.

“Even if you don’t want to talk, as

fencing is a high-focus sport, it

provides a space for our members

to switch off from the daily

stress. You don’t think about

coursework or exams when

someone is trying to stab

you – although you are

protected!”

“While I’m the president

now,” President Hana

told SCAN, “my personal

fencing journey started

right here at Lancaster.

Regular training times,

@Lancaster_Lax

Lacrosse is a sport that may

sound familiar. Intense,

aggressive, with unlimited

rolling substitutions.

The game is played with 10

players, all given a “stick” used

for handling and shooting the

ball.

Mens+ Captain Ben Grime

stated that one of the main

upsides to the club is the social

aspect,

“We’re one of the few

mixed clubs socials. that have A great

big

Wednesday night is a

@Lancaster

UniversityCC

atmosphere for a fresher to join, especially if

they’re a bit sceptical or nervous about joining

a sports society!

“Freshers should join cricket because not only

do we welcome all abilities, including complete

beginners or experienced players, but it’s such

an amazing sport.

“My uni experience has improved

massively by being a part of a sports

team, playing both hockey and

cricket. You form such a close bond

with your teammates in which you share

the same experiences.

Ami Clement

In plain terms, handball

is very similar to football,

where the player uses their

hands instead of their feet.

Mens+ Captain Liam

Boulter told SCAN:

“Joining handball

doesn’t just mean

you’re joining a team

it also means you’re

joining a close,

connected family

where we all look

after each other and

@LUFencingClub

multiple times a week provided

a stability that’s hard to construct

purely from internal motivation.

“Fencing made Lancaster feel like

home.”

guarantee every week.

“Freshers are vital for the

development of our squad and

game time is certain as players

constantly tire during a game.”

Womens+ Captain Emma

Taylor added, “I think it’s a

brilliant way of meeting people

in an open and inclusive

environment through training

and weekly socials.

“It allows you to meet a range

of members across the years

and different courses, helping

freshers settle in. It’s also a new

and exciting sport growing

in popularity. Any range of

just try to have as

much fun as possible,

while learning to

play handball and

improve.”

So, if you’re a total newbie

to the sport don’t worry, the

team have got your back!

“Having both the Mens+

team and Womens+ team

supporting each other

during our victory over York

in Roses, really emphasises

this family atmosphere.

Lacrosse

experience, from none to years,

are welcome to join.

“Joining lacrosse has

shaped my university

experience, enabling

me to meet some of

my closest friends and

providing an outlet to get

away from academics

through training, socials

and matches.

“By joining the team, I’ve had

opportunities I never imagined

achieving. I played on the

1st team at Roses and then

became

captain.”

“It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that regardless of

whether you win or lose, you’ll be doing it together.”

@LUWomensCricket

Handball

“We win and lose together

as not just a team but as a

family club!”

For anyone who attended

Roses last year or followed

along on the socials, you’ll

remember the buzzing

atmosphere after a fantastic

victory from Lancaster, at

one of the first games of the

entire weekend.

@Lancs_Handball

Tom Jeffreys &

Korfball

Josh Peter

Rugby is one of the biggest sports on

campus. We asked two separate arms

of the sport, Rugby Union and Rugby

League, to give us an insight into their

clubs.

The main differences are that the

Chess

Josh Perrett

Chess is commonly regarded

an intimidating sport,

played by two players on

a checkerboard that has 6

unique pieces (2 Rooks, 2

Knights, 2 Bishops, 1 Queen,

1 King, and 8 Pawns), with the

goal of the game to “take”

the enemy King, a move

known as checkmate.

We asked the President

of Chess to tell us more

about the club and

sport.

Ami Clement

By far Lancaster’s best hidden

gem of the sport scene, Korfball

is a mixture of basketball and

netball.

The court is split in two whereby

players must score inside a

basket (Korf). Teams are formed

of 4 men+ and 4 women+, all of

whom switch between attack

and defence every 2 goals. The

aim of the game is to get the

ball through the ‘Korf’, a yellow

hoop 3.5m above the ground.

So what makes Korf so good?

@LancsUniKorfball

League

is played with 13 players,

Union with 15. In League, you get 4

points for a try, in Union you get 5.

Union has competitive rucks, scrums

and lineouts whereas League does not.

The Chairperson of the Rugby Union

describes the sport as,

“We have a mix of social

players (including me) and

very high-skilled ones, too

(not me).

“We love to challenge

new pools of players to

learn, teach others, and

grow skills.”

The core of the club is

as a place to challenge

players to constant

improvement in a

friendly and fun

President Joe Price told SCAN,

“It’s a fun mixed-gender sport

that most people have never

played before.

“If you wish to be competitive

and play in Roses or just play

recreationally with your friends,

korfball is the sport for you!

“We play every week in a

regional league on top of

BUCS, Roses, national,

and international

tournaments (including a

tour to Amsterdam!)”

With the diversity and

@LUWRUFC

@LancasterLynx

@LancsChess

environment.

“An underrated part of

societies is that they

can help set normalised

routines for you and allow

yourself to be comfortable

and relax your brain from uni

life.”

And for anyone who is

experienced in chess, the

club offers some amazing

opportunities. Last year, the

club played a simultaneous

game against Grandmaster

Lance Henderson!

Josh Perrett

Everyone loves a game of

table tennis and feeling

like Forrest Gump with a

lightning-fast hand, tearing

up the table. Well, the Lancaster

Table Tennis Team smoke

Forrest out the water. Indeed, as

we all saw at this year’s Roses.

The president of table tennis

told SCAN:

“We’re a social group

of people who support

@LUTableTennis

international

opportunities

down, what more could you

ask for?

Well Korf gets bonus points

for regular socials and

playing indoors where it’s

warm which you will soon

learn is important, in one of

the wettest counties in the

UK.

“No one has really played

Korf before so now is your

opportunity to try something

new, throw yourself out

there, and meet some

new people all in the

same boat as you!”

“A very social, friendly, led

playeratmosphere.

“We’re the biggest sports club

on campus so have a good track

record at making all new players

feel welcome in social, welfare, and

playing environments.

“Rugby is an invaluable part of student

life. It provides a great outlet to take

a break from study and release some

frustration. Plus, our established

welfare system makes sure our players

are well looked after.”

The President of the League

describes his club

one another, within and

outside of the sport.

“f you have a passion to play table

tennis, LUTTC is the perfect

home for you. We compete in

multiple competitions, against

some of the best players in the

country.

“Freshers are a vital part of the

LUTTC family and we can’t wait

to welcome new members!

“I instantly made friends and

opportunities. I’ve been able to

Rugby

as “an extremely close group. I don’t

class them just as a club I’m a part of. I

see each one of them as a friend.

“Freshers should join because,

if they want a group of people

who will support them no

matter what it is they go

through, then Rugby League is

the place to be.

“We immediately welcome freshers

into our family and let them know that

they are one of our own and

we will support them no

matter what. On and off

t h efi e l d .”

Table Tennis

play all over the country and see

new cities.

“My university

experience would not

have been the same if I

had not joined LUTTC.”

What Sport

Should You

Try Based

on Your

College?

County

American Football

There are two things about County.

1) It’s the biggest college and 2)

they’ve got a great tree.

So, dive into the next biggest team

with American Football.

Fylde

Ultimate Frisbee

There’s something a little care-free

and whimsical about Fylde. We

reckon you would love trying out

Ultimate Frisbee.

Pendle

Korfball

You’ve already chosen the college

that has a literal witch for its mascot.

Stay on the theme with Korball, the

lesser known niche sport.

Grizedale

Equestrian

So...we know the Grizedale mascot

is a tipsy boar. Unfortunately,

there’s no Lancaster sport where

you can ride a wild pig. We figured,

equestrian is close enough.

Bowland

Archery

You’re quite literally living in bowland.

It’s time to jump in with both

feet so you can tell everyone you’re a

real Bowlandier.

Furness

Swimming & Water

Polo

Speaking of things you ought to try

for the college sake, why not take a

trip to the Furness mountain range

and take a dip in a mountain lake.

Train with Lancaster swimmers first!

Cartmel

Fencing

You’re a low-key bougie college. Not

necessarily in a rich way (we’ve seen

your overdraft) but in a “I challenge

thee to a duel” kind of way.

Lonsdale

Running & Athletics

By now, it’s too late. You’ve moved

in. You’ve realised how far Lonsdale

is from absolutely everywhere.

Better get in with Running now to

get your quads prepped for the year.

Graduate

Table Tennis

For postgrad students, we know

how busy you are. You haven’t got

the time for regular tennis so try out

table tennis to fill the gaps between

work. (Besides, you can steal the

ball for beer pong.)

31

Freshers

Fed the ducks

(bonus if they stole

your food)

Chundered in a

taxi or a bus

Had a Lancrush

written about you

Got on the Sultans

Snapchat

Written a

Lancfession

Gone on the

Pendle Witch tour

Got kicked out of

Sugarhouse

Got a porter to let

you in because you

forgot your keys

Got an Under-19

dayrider (no

matter how old

you are)

Seen a campus

rabbit

Got a flat plant

(bonus for cool

names)

Take a day trip to

Morecambe Beach

Pulled a library allnighter

Joined a society

(bonus if it’s weird)

Got a bag full

of freebies from

Freshers Fest

Went to a lecture in

your pyjamas

Got a column? Got a full bingo?

Post on Instagram and tag us to be

featured on the @SCANLancaster

page!

Used a copy

Fell victim to

of SCAN for a

Circuit Laundry

Sultans discount

Bingo

Freshers issue AMENDED VERSION FINAL

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