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GIANT

VISIONS

January 2023 Ben Davis High School Volume 16, Issue 1

Indianapolis, IN


Giant

Visions

Ben Davis High School

1200 N. Girls School Road

Indianapolis, IN 46214

317-988-7148

@BD_Publications

Giant Visions is the arts and literary magazine of Ben Davis High School. Giant Visions began publishing

in 2002 and has been an online publication since 2015. It is published on www.bdspotlight.

com at least twice a school year. All material is produced by Ben Davis students. All work is the

property of Giant Visions. The staff reserves the right to edit all submissions.

Giant Visions is published by members of the Spotlight and Keyhole classes. Junior Chelsea Hughes is

editor of this issue while Tom Hayes serves as adviser and Sandra Squire is the school principal.

The class is conducted in accordance with policies established by the Metropolitan School District

of Wayne Township. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, by any means,

without prior written permission of the publisher.

2 BEN DAVIS HS GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


Table of Contents

Admiring Mother Nature, by Alexis White................................................................page 4

Photo, by Danielle Shumar...................................................................................................page 5

Water............................................................................................................................................page 6

Leading lines.................................................................................................................page 7

Cloudy skies..................................................................................................................page 8

Live, laugh and nothing else, by Steven Ford.............................................................page 9

Circles............................................................................................................................page 10

Tragic Misunderstanding., by Chelsea Hughes..........................................................page 11

Sounds of Strings........................................................................................................................page 12

Poems , by Hunter.......................................................................................................page 14

Realization, by Lily Kinnick..........................................................................................page 16

As Always, by Lily Kinnick...............................................................................................page 17

Hiraeth, by Lily Kinni.............................................................................................................page 17

Sunday, by Daniel Awosika..........................................................................................page 18

Soulmate, by Chelsea Hughes........................................................................................page 19

Happily Ever After, by Chelsea Hughes.....................................................................page 19

Wounds Speak Loud, by Chelsea Hughes................................................................page 20

Crying in the Bath, by Chelsea Hughes.......... ...........................................................page20

Emotion Ocen, by Steven Ford....................................................................................page 21

About our editor........................................................................................................page 24

Submissions are always welcomed. To submit material, bring it to X109 or email Mr. Hayes at

tom.hayes@wayne.k12.in.us. Memebers of the Creative Writing and Photography clubs contribute

material.

cover photo by Alexis White, seniorr

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

3


Admiring

Mother

Nature

Photos by Alexis White

4

GIANT VISIONS

BEN DAVIS HS

JANUARY 2023


BEN DAVIS HS

Photo by Danielle Shumar

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

5


by Jami Estrada

by Nina Wills

by Stephanie Bustos Hernandez

by Nailah Lange

by Joleth Herrera

Water

by Bradley ASlvarez

6BEN DAVIS HS GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


by Stephanie Bustos Herneandez

by Mithaya Kheat

BEN DAVIS HS

by Kristiana Fritz

by Jade Fox

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

7


by Brooke Eads

by Gloria Moreno

by Madchen Fox

Cloudy

skies

by Jocelyn Gonzalez

by Angel Huerta

by Paola Chavez

8

by Brooklynn Sharp

BEN DAVIS HS

by Nadia Rivera Hernandez

by Ashlee Parker

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


Live, laugh, and nothing else.

A satire love poem written by someone who hates poems

Live, laugh, love.

I consider this to be a rather overused phrase in today’s world. Most would agree.

Though the first 2 words I agree with the 3rd makes me think of my favorite little bit of poetry written by me.

Roses are red, violets are blue, just because you love me does not mean I love you.

Love, love is something that I’ve always wanted to grasp but when I try to it simply drifts away.

Bloated, ugly and unwanted.

I think it’s best for it to stay that way.

I really cannot understand why it’s on everybody’s mind to find this illustrious thing?

They lie awake at night hoping that one day they will have a grand love story like the vampire diaries, just without people having the

personality of drywall or acting like they have perpetual cognitive dissonance.

I mean what good does that really do?

Going, pouring your heart out just to have it get thrown back into the trash that is you.

Maybe I’m just a pessimist but can you blame me?

Most people languish waiting for the day that someone will return their feelings.

They could go their whole lives not noticing that their personality is the reason no one wants them.

Then what even happens if you do get that love you wanted so bad.

What happens then?

Do you suddenly feel happy?

Does your dad say he’s proud of you?

There must be something good that comes out of it for so many people to be this obsessed with it.

Is there even really an end to the constant struggle of these wayward, idiotic hearts?

In reality I think this game of love is truly just unwinnable, like romeo and juliet but way less interesting and no one usually dies.

You never know who will click and who won’t and what will follow after.

There could be eternal love created from it and all that jazz.

There could be a heinous break up and all the theatrics that follow suit.

Or there could those scared of their love being criticized or unwanted.

Instead they are reduced to hoping, praying, desperate for the day that the other will come and confess to them instead.

Dreaming about the day that they will finally approach them.

Their feelings layed out.

Their heart open and bare as if they were in a scene of a bad young adult novel movie adaptation.

So that they can speak thus.

“Oh Edward!” They cried out!

“Please gaslight me like one of your french girls as the evening is spread out against the sun!”

Yeah if you can’t tell they’re single for a reason.

But anyway.

Ignoring how unappealing that already is, I’m even further from grasping why anyone would want to go through the process of even

getting in one.

The annoying push and shove with each other’s emotions trying to show the other how they feel.

Because apparently we’re physically incapable of just saying so.

The attempts to put on an act with the charisma and clutch of an average highschooler to sell their looks or personality knowing that

it’s abysmal at best.

Thinking they look like an original Broadway performance when in reality not even Riverdale would take them.

Do people honestly think that this is the only thing that will make them happy?

I mean I can find my true happiness here in this poem making fun of other people for trying to find theirs.

So maybe you should try the same.

Not necessarily the method because that’s my thing but generally.

It feels like everyone is in constant pursuit of love, thinking it’ll make them feel whole or something.

But you know what, I’m happy.

That’s all that matters anyway.

The world still spins and twilight is still a terrible book and movie.

But do know.

If you can truly find love it could be beautiful and everlasting.

Well at least up until death or divorce.

- Steven Ford

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS

JANUARY 2023

9


CircleS

by Ashlee Parker

by Ashlee Parker

by Brooke Eads

by Johanna Lobos

10BEN DAVIS HS GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


Tragic Misunderstanding

by Chelsea Hughes

This is the sick, but still oh so tragic love story about Linda Davidson and Larry Wilkinson. Both attend Portland High;

Linda 16 while on the other hand Larry is 19. The year is 1964, in Portland Maine. The two love birds had history together,

with Mr. Reed. They always sat next to each other, even worked together on everything… and I mean everything. These

love birds have known each other since they were in middle school. Only way that was possible was because Larry got held

back a few too many times, yet Linda fell in love and helped him with his classes just so they could keep going through

school together. Linda was never found without Larry by her side.

Once they hit ninth grade. That’s when they started to date, since Larry only yet confessed his love in the summer of eighth

grade. Yet Linda was still happier than ever. Now with the love of her dreams… so everyone thought, including Larry.

Years later, they are seniors in high school.

Linda and Larry decided to go to the homecoming dance, and the after party their best friend had planned. Everything

was going great at the dance, until Linda saw Larry circled by girls. As he smiled and flirted, she ran off without making

a scene. Kept her pain hidden, as her heart ripped to shreds. Time after time she has told him about the girls and how she

feels about it, but yet he never listens. So the pain gets worse, as she bottles it all up in the tiny mindset of nothingness.

Her mind was racing while sitting next to him in the car, not even moving… but were supposed to be going home. He then

turns to me asking me why I’m hiding my face, as the light tears flow down I look at me … just to whisper, “the girls”.

What about them, he grunts. The heavy brighter smiles, the laughs, the long looks in their eyes. Where’s that with me?

The love for me? Shown to others, for why. Because I’m upset, hurt, not wanting to talk? You give my attention to other

females.

You keep saying you’ll change, but here we are. Months later still in the same boat. Hiding in the bathroom, tub overflowing

with water, as I sit there trying to see while my vision goes blank. You come in, stop it before it gets worse. I try to push

you away, but it doesn’t work. You yell at me for my outrageous behavior, while what you do is even worse.

You told me to end it with you, but I never truly wanted to. We started off so amazing so strong, yet somehow you found a

way to hurt me… somehow someway… even after promises on top of promises. As my heart aches I end up blacking out..

My mind keeps racing, but yet, I’m not really breathing. Am I still even alive? As I look over, I see the one I dread seeing. I

look around me as if I’m in my own home, the kitchen I believe. But as I looked around, my lover wasn’t actually standing,

nor sitting. It was as if he was propped up. I kept looking around, piles of blood, and a bloody knife? I went over to him, he

wasn’t breathing.. I was hallucinating, I couldn’t have actually killed him.. I loved him more than anything. Once I started

crying out screaming. Police showed up, but they never saw me or him.

Weeks have passed, hours upon hours as well. As my eyes slowly open, I’m in a hospital room, without my lover. Doctors

told me I’ve been unconscious for almost a month, as well as my lover found dead exactly in our own kitchen. But they

don’t know who the killer was. If i told them it was me, they would have thought I was going even more insane, especially

since I just came from being in a coma.

Since my home is a literal crime scene. I went home to stay with my parents, still unable to process anything. I wish life was

easier. I never wanted him gone. I cry every night as I try to figure out this mystery. As if I feel it was truly me that killed

him. No, it couldn’t have been, even the doctor said I was there during that time frame.

As weeks pass, I hear his voice. Outside my window? So I took a look. Was it really him? It couldn’t have been. Was I

dreaming? But as I came closer, I realized it really was, he explained everything. Just as people think he faked his death, it

was really his twin brother, that he had to hide from the world. I felt terrible for the words I just heard. He then apologized

about everything, and said I didn’t know the whole story with him and the girls. He was trying to plan and find the perfect

wedding ring for me.

BEN DAVIS HS

- The end -

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

11


Sam Martinez

“ I play the viola! The hardest thing to learn

about my instrument was not the instrument

itself, but the bow. It was hard figuring out how

to hold and control the bow, mostly because I

am left handed and it took me a couple years to

get the hang of it. I also had to learn to continuously

practice, because I wasn’t accustomed to

practicing daily and it was putting me behind

others. When I first went to see the instruments,

my parents wanted me to play either the violin

or cello, but none of them felt right. I picked up

the viola and it was the perfect medium of the

two, and it honestly felt right, I really liked the

tone and the size of it. I really love the variety

that can be played, we can go from video-game

and movie music to Baroque, and it’s so fun as

to how we can incorporate our own style into

pieces too. I plan to do as much as I can to

keep playing, it’s something that I didn’t think

I would be able to do. I have really learned to

love this and I hope I can make this more than a

hobby as I get older.”

Sounds of

Alex Ramsey

“ I play the cello. The hardest thing for me to learn was

how to weight my bow without having tension in my

hands to adjust my volume. I was attracted to the cello

because I saw it was the closest instrument to a man’s

voice, and I felt that it suited me. I enjoy that I can use

the cello as a reflection of my emotions, and that it gives

me an emotional outlet during the school day. I put a

down payment on a cello of my own over the summer,

and I plan to play in the symphony of whatever college

I attend.”

12 BEN DAVIS HS GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


Jesus Medina - Diaz

“I play the double bass. The thing I struggled with

the most was keeping pace with a fast tempo and also

having good intonation at the same time. I wanted to

join the jazz band and the bass seemed like the most

fun to play.I enjoy keeping the tempo for the rest of

the ensemble.If the college I get accepted to has a jazz

band I wish to join them but after graduating I only

plan on continuing to play the electric bass.”

Strings

Kimberlin Morales

“ I play the violin. I feel like every aspect was somewhat difficult,

but became easier as I developed whatever skill it was. Vibrato

took a while to develop. When I was about to go into 3rd grade,

my elementary school teacher said she wanted me in her violin

program. I wasn’t able to do it since I would be moving to a different

school the next year. I was deciding between trumpet and

violin when I was going into middle school, and I remembered

what she had said to me. I also thought the trumpet would be too

loud while I was practicing. I love everything about it. I’d say

the joy all comes to a head when I’m performing, or when I hear

everyone sound beautiful together. It makes me so happy when

practice pays off and the whole ensemble is together, in tune and

in harmony. I likely will. I’m not sure I’ll do it professionally - for

now I don’t think I will - but I do want music to stay in my life

for as long as possible. It’s not something I want to lose. I play

many instruments, but violin is the one I’ve put the most work

into and the one I’m most proficient at. I love it a lot, so I’ll be in

it for a while.”

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

13


I’m fine if

I’m fine if fine stands for im hurting

I’m fine if fine stands for breaking down everyday

Im fine if fine stands for depressed

I’m fine if fine stands for 2 steps from a panic

attack

I’m fine if fine stands for on the verge of crying

hysterically

I’m fine if fine stands for crying on the inside while

smiling a you

I’m fine if fine stands for putting up a mask so you

never have to worry about me

I’m fine if fine stands for never wanting to leave

my bed for fear of disappointing you

I’m fine if fine stands for pretending im ok

I’m fine if fine stands for I’m secretly losing control

but will never tell you

I’m fine if fine stands for slowly drowning in my

own sorrows

Im fine if fine stands for feeling like im ready to

give up and push everyone away

Im fine if fine stands for being done with everyone

Depression

It’s like a deep dark void.

It’s like drowning while everyone else is breathing.

Its like constant dark clouds over you with no rest.

And then when a ray of light gets in

It gets squashed by your sadness.

Because you feel you don’t deserve it.

Boomerang

Parents are supposed to be like boomerangs

And hopefully come back around all the time

But not all parents are like that

I know my dad is far from a boomerang

He comes and goes when he chooses

And wreaks havoc on my life every time he goes

When he comes back again, I slowly pick up my

heart

Then when he leaves it shatters again

And I’m left to pick up the pieces

Again and again it repeats

Shatter then mend

Shatter then mend

Over and over

It has been this way all my life

16 years is a long time to work through this

But it’s still continuing

But that’s not how you have to live,

You do deserve it

Even though you feel you don’t,

It’s just your brain tricking you.

Life can give you severe darkness and downs

But it also has some light and a lot of ups.

Life has some light and a lot of ups.

14

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


About the author

(poems on page 14)

Hi my name is Hunter. I’m a senior. I started

writing my 10th grade year as a challenge to win

a poetry slam and I ended up winning second

place. And at first I was shaky at best. But with

time my love of writing only grew. I then started

to use poems to channel my emotions. So some of

my poems were happy while others were deep or

sad. Writing for me is an escape. It makes all my

problems seem solvable. If you would have asked

middle school me what I thought about writing in

my free time I would have looked at you like you

were crazy. I felt like why would I willingly write

an essay when I hate doing it in class. But now

I feel like if it’s something I’m passionate about

then it’s worth it. Poetry is also a great way to

express yourself in different ways. A lot of what I

write is freestyle poems because they don’t have

to rhyme or make sense. They make sense to me

and that’s all that really matters.

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

15


Realization

Do you ever just get that sudden realization about how your life has turned out?

The white noise clears, you look around, and for the first time you are here.

You notice the people you’ve lost. The things you can never get back.

And you ask yourself, “Where did it all go so wrong?”

You’ve woken from a dream and now face the harsh reality.

That you weren’t a good person, that you are alone, and that the good times are forever

out of your reach.

You sit in your room, crying late at night, thinking of them.

And you wonder if they’re crying in their bedrooms, late at night, thinking about you

too.

Or have they all moved on?

Are they out there living their lives, happy, whilst you crumble in the mess you’ve created.

The realization never lasts, soon the white noise returns and you go back to the haze,

stuck on auto pilot.

But the realization will always return, and when it does, I will fall apart at my very

core.

- Lily Kinnick

16

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS

JANUARY 2023


As Always

How long can someone be burned until they melt away?

How long can someone be stabbed in the back

before a kinfe become a loving embrace?

How long can someone lie

before “I love you” sounds like a game?

I love you, but your love burns me like a flame.

I trust you, even with a blade lunged deep in my back.

I want to believe you, so why does

hearing those words hurt?

As always I will smile without complaint.

I will hope a day comes when the flames no longer burn,

A day the knife becomes a loving embrace,

Because I know it’ll always be there,

And I hope for a day when you say “I love you,”

You will mean it.

- Lily Kinncik

Hiraeth

Hiraeth is a homesickness for a home you can never return to.

For me it’s for a home that never existed.

I spent my life idolizing lies,

I thought I found a place among the broken,

Yet it feels like it’ll shatter in seconds,

I’ve been carelessly tossed away over and over again,

I wish and long for a home and not just a place I live.

Hiraeth is such a bittersweet word.

One as beautiful as a rising sun and flowers in spring,

But a meaning that reaps pain and sorrow.

A nostalgic hole in you that will never be filled.

To all those who feel the pain of Hiraeth, I envy.

Because at least they have the memories a home.

And I never will.

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

- Lily Kinnick

17


Sunday (The Last Day On Earth)

by Daniel Awosika

Sunday

10:30 p.m..

If today was your last day on earth, how would you spend it?

Chilling, slowing down, looking back at my past and reminiscing on the moments that stuck

with me, for better or worse. I’d think about those I’ve left an impact on and those who left one on me.

I would be at peace with my anxieties, knowing that the worst of them will come to pass soon. The rest

seem insignificant against this backdrop. I’d turn to the beauty all around me in these last moments; The

birds singing, the trees whispering, earth, this beautiful coffin that I am soon to escape. It’s all beautiful

to me. I’d be surrounded by the love of my family and friends. As I’d reflect, I’d wonder who’ll remember

me, how my legacy might live on. If anything pains me, it would be the fact that I won’t be around

to experience my impact. I’d think of all those who have come and gone before me, their lives: their

achievements, their failures, their legacy, and how much of their cosmically short existences still resonate

with the living, with me. By thinking of them, I keep them alive, even if only for a brief moment. A sort of

reincarnation.

I am confident the same will happen with me.

I say my final goodbyes to my earthly family and prepare my deathbed. In sleep, I find rest. And in the

face of death, I find peace. As the sun sets over the horizon, I wonder how the light of dawn will look in

tomorrow’s sky. That is a beauty reserved for the living to behold. I lay down knowing peace and having

known evil. I am free at last.

Monday 6:50 a.m.

I wake up to the dawn of Monday. A ray of sunlight shoots through the cracks in my window

blinds. Very annoying. As I get ready for school, I wonder how I would spend my five-thousandth-ninehundred-and-second

last day on earth. I skim over my journal entry from last night and cringe at how

depressing it seems in retrospect. I hear the brakes of my school bus from the backyard window. I’ll

think about this question later.

18

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


Soulmate

My best friend

Ride or die

My other half

Spending all my days with you, feels only as if it was just a few hours,

But as I look at the time, it’s resting at midnight,

While I should’ve been home in my bed hours ago.

A soulmate isn’t just someone you’ve been with for a long time,

It’s who you are truly happy with, bounding with

Can care and love for everyday, through thick and thin no matter what.

Days of torcher feel easier with them.

- Chelsea Hughes

Happily Ever After

It’s never like it is in the movies.

Some girls dream of living in a fairy tale.

Dreaming of a love life like Romeo and Juliet

Wishing upon a star for their so-called prince charming.

While they wish their life away…

I found the one of my dreams,

My real life prince charming,

Not by wishing on a star, but on my own.

Not begging for it, but simply just doing it.

Living happily ever after, by writing my own story, but

trying to copy someone else.

- Chelsea Hughes

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

19


Wounds Speak Loud

Being around you was a painful experience

Chew me up, spitting me out from

As if I’m nothing at all, like I’m a waste of our life.

Hoping and praying you’ll change, but i was just wasting my breath

Years down the road, you never changed, you got worse.

Pushing me down, while I’m crying in a corner,

Begging you to stop.

Or better yet, while you’re holding me down covering my mouth under that bed sheet.

Even though your gone, I’m left when the unseen wounds that speak louder in my head,

While I relive every night.

- Chelsea Hughes

Crying in the bath

Three years of being together

To be left like you only knew me for a week.

Well, it’s been almost a year since that happened,

You moved on like it was nothing, seeming selfish over us.

As, I’m still screaming our old songs,

Crying with my feet up in a hotel bathroom

In hopes no one else can hear me, and if they do, they jut leave me there.

No help, just me in this pitch black locked room, as water flows over.

- Chelsea Hughes

20

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023


Emotion ocean

by Steven Ford

Oh the depression I feel!

It is unparalleled by what is experienced by the rest of the world.

Infected by an original, unique form of torment that comes to haunt me, and only me!

My sadness, it clogs my day like the nose of a toddler after huffing glue.

Unable to drain itself away.

Always growing.

Till eventually, it overflows.

Seeping into my life, creeping throughout my home.

It flows freely into the deep dark, cold below.

The despair felt as I saw it roaming freely.

“Oh woe is me!” I cry out.

Then suddenly I awake from my slumber and I feel a chill going down my spine.

After recovering from the horrible nightmare I began to make my way to my kitchen.

Hoping for some futile attempt to distract myself from the nightmarish apparition.

And there it is.

The reason for my emotional distress, coming out of its cave, polluting my living room.

It stands, not noticing my presence, giving me time to examine what’s now an almost alien being.

Dirty.

Disgusting!

The disappointment that traverses my once sacred abode.

30 years of age and unemployed.

12 years since he has made his home in my basement.

He walks as if he owns the place.

Strutting around, spreading his filth across what should be my harborage.

It feels like just yesterday that he was a beautiful innocent child, not this wretched beast!

How could I have spawned this foul creature in front of me?!?

He looks my way.

“Hi mom!” The demon says.

I just sat there.

Unmoving.

Blinking.

Hoping that if I close my eyes for long enough maybe he’ll just disappear.

That I’ll wake up and this will all have been one long nightmare.

(continued pn page 22)

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

21


That my 18 years of hard work didn’t go to waste.

That he went to a college.

That twitch streams aren’t the closest he’ll ever get to a woman.

Oh dear god!

Why have you put me through this?!?

What crime have I committed for you to make me experience this new found pain that none have had

to suffer before?

I have only shown you my love, my prayer!

Yet you have forsaken me, just like the dirty child before me!

Why have I been reserved as the unlucky soul to deal with this horrific form of punishment?

Why, WHY!?!

Please I’ll do anything to rid myself of this hellspawn, anything!

I then realize the situation I’m still in ,and I snap back to reality, mentally composing myself, deciding

to save my completely justified breakdown for another time, before responding to the untouchable.

“Good morning Kevin my dearest, most beautiful child ” I spit out to the pathetic worm in front of

me.

“Good morning to you too mom!” Said the goblin with a sickening smile on his hideous face.

“How’s that little job search of yours job search been going?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

He just looks at me, frowning before he then makes a hasty response.

“I’ll uh…. Get back to you later with that bye!”

He then briskly walks to the kitchen, and I finally take a breath of air.

Free from the stench of disappointment and failure coming from that mistake.

The abomination of ruined dreams and broken promises,when he was younger he said he’d be an

astronaut, not a deadbeat!

Please, please god!

I’ve cried a thousand tears.

Made a thousand prayers.

Yet here he is.

The leech, no, the parasite!

That I wasted my life for.

Never again!

Never again will I dedicate my time just to have it spat back at me.

Never again will I reduce myself to watching as that disgrace to my family name prances around my

home!

But I know that this is not true.

I’ll see him tomorrow and the same thing will happen again, and Again, and AGAIN!

I’ll act as if I do not despise him, and he’ll go on his merry little way like the disgusting scamp he is!

For I do not know how to tell him otherwise.

“Sobs uglily”

22 GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

BEN DAVIS HS


I then retreat to the comfort of my room, laying down on my bed.

Sinking into the pillow.

Once again praying that one day this will change.

For I am too sad and pathetic to make a change myself.

So instead I rest my head.

Once again retreating to the land of dreams,

Where no doubt he will invade once again.

Just like how he invades my home.

Just like how he invades my space.

Just like how he invades my privacy.

Just like how he invades my bank account!

Then I remember.

I get up once more before I bring myself temporary respite.

I make my way to my hallway one last time, filled with dread.

As I do I begin to hear brimstone and hellfire before I then open the gateway to the underworld

to speak thus.

“Oh Kevin darling!, your yeezys are here!”

I then slam the door and quickly make my escape from the bowels of hell before it swallows me

whole, but as I made my way back to my room I realized that I had began to cry.

My sorrow once locked in, now freely expelling from my eyes.

As in that statement made to the trenches of my defiled home.

I realize just how much of a loser I’ve raised and just like that, an ocean of emotion over takes

me once again.

BEN DAVIS HS

GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

23


About our editor

My Not So Normal Journey

by junior , Chelsea Hughes

Growing up, I never had a so-called normal life. I was moved around from school to school my whole life. That’s difficult

enough, but during mid second semester in 8th grade I finally stopped moving around. Now here I am a junior at Ben Davis.

That’s not my story, that’s just my background. But let’s go a little farther back. Back to elementary, specifically second

grade. I had just started wearing glasses. Telling the teacher I couldn’t see from the back of the class, hearing the laughter,

and already being the shortest in the class, bullies always found me to be an easy target.

That never stopped, even to this day. Everyone makes fun of my height, the way I talk --

everything. I’ve been the laughing stalk my whole life. Never helped that growing up I was

abused until three maybe four years ago, I packed up everything and moved in with my

loving and caring mother.

Let’s get into my middle school years. It was not so fun, but what built me up mainly to who

I truly am today. This is not a “let’s give her pity” writing, it’s an oh, she’s (they) stronger

than you think. As this goes on now, please mind the name and pronoun changes, key points

will fall in, I promise.

Middle school the abuse was getting bad, I was catcalled all the time. Trying to cover up,

but nothing worked… EVER! From that day to present day, I still fear coming to school. No

matter what higher authority tells me, it’s to the point my mom wants to homeschool me.

My friend group was never really that supportive, never has been never really will (well in

my opinion).

Throughout middle school, I’ve been a shy, non talking little girl. Only thing that went wrong was again, I was seen as an

easy target. Yes, the things I was told broke me down, made me cry -- belittled me. Last time I was abused, 09/11/19 I had

to go to the hospital, looked dead at my father saying “ I’m moving out.” Now I have a happy life living with my mom, my

dad now lives out of state, which yes watching my little siblings leave ripped me apart from the inside out, but knowing he’s

around 11 hour round dive from there to here -- I know I’m safe, and I have no more worries. As my favorite movie says

“hakuna matata” (yeah, now I’m sorry if that’s stuck in your head, please forgive me).

Well, enough about that poor ol’ Chelsea. Here’s the birth of River. Well, oops Covid hit, I did nothing but draw, write and

figure myself out. I decided she/her wasn’t me. Well, I said maybe she/they… that lasted 4 months… I said they/them, and

River and that’s been lasting for maybe two years. I’ve felt so much better as a human. There is sadly one downfall of highschool

-- and say it with me, teenage boys. I agree, not all are bad, hints my boyfriend who has helped me through a lot, but

I won’t get into that, it gets a little too dark.. Well sit down, edge of your seat, lean over the table and take a deep breath in ,

because boy do I have a story for you.

End of my sophomore year I started getting more comfortable, and wasn’t so scared of always hiding. So I started talking

more, I made new friends -- yes you read that right, I made new friends. Well, the joke was on me. That new “friend” decides

harassment is “ okay”. I told him how I felt, he didn’t get the memo. I sought help, I found it where I needed it. Long story

short that dude is out of my life.

Well, here is the part everyone has been waiting for. All because of those life events that you have read above. I’ve become

a writer here at Ben Davis in our Spotlight, along with a photographer and running the Giant Visions magazine. I want to

thank Mr. Hayes for making that all happen. He’s always been a teacher I was able to talk to and he’ll listen, no matter how

dark of a subject I was on.

So the morale of the story is, find yourself here at Ben Davis. Don’t let the negatives keep you down. Everyone has a place

here, you just have to find yourself. I found myself in this magazine. I hope you enjoy our content.

24BEN DAVIS HS GIANT VISIONS JANUARY 2023

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