The Parish Magazine June 2023

The Parish Magazine - June 2023 5
The vicar's letter
Dear friends,
June is often the most popular month for marriages, indeed, Caroline
and I will have been married for 20 years on the 14 June and perhaps,
partly because of this, I have been reflecting of late on the importance of
marriage.
It is clear to me that God takes marriage seriously and that's why
'Thou shall not commit adultery . . .' is included right along with 'Thou shalt
not kill . . .' and 'Thou shalt not steal . . .' in the Ten Commandments. There
were many things that Jesus was quite liberal on for the day in which
he lived. There were others about which he was quite conservative. Here
he is downright reactionary. 'What God has joined together, let no man put
asunder' (Matthew 19:4-6). Does that mean that Jesus would have nothing
to do with divorced persons? Not in the least. We can read about his
encounter with the woman at the well who had lived with several men,
or the woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. No one was
more compassionate than Jesus. Jesus knew about human weakness and
frailty and he met no one he could not forgive. That said, no relationship
strikes more at the centre of what it means to be human than does
marriage. The end of a marriage can be devastating and the effects on
children are well known and well documented. Of course, each situation
is different, and we respect that, but the breakup of a family is serious
business, because God takes marriage seriously.
Of course, no marriage is truly made in heaven. Good marriages are made through a lot of give-and-take
here on earth. I am reminded of the woman who accompanied her husband to the doctor for his physical. The
doctor asked her for a private conversation before they left the office. 'Your husband is under great stress and
you must devote your life to sheltering him. Don't argue or disagree with him. Get up early each morning and
make his favourite breakfast. Spend the morning cleaning the house but have a nice lunch ready at midday if
he happens to come home. The afternoon you can spend on outside work, but make sure there's a special dinner
waiting for him when he returns. The evening hours may be spent watching the TV with him, followed by
romance should he be interested. This must be your schedule to help him through this.' The wife left the office,
picked up her husband, and drove him home. 'Well,' asked the husband, 'what did the doctor say?' 'He said that
you're going to die!' All I am saying is that there are no perfect marriages!
Very sadly more than half of marriages today do not last. Why is that? Maybe we haven't helped our young
people understand that marriage takes work. It is not an easy task for two independent, strong-minded
persons to become one flesh. Here are two people from differing home environments, differing expectations
from life, differing dreams for the future. Men and women are different. Family backgrounds are different and
people have different pictures in their minds of what an ideal marriage should be. We are all sinners and we all
have flaws that need to be forgiven from time to time.
This brings me to the last thing I would say about Christian marriage; that by the grace of God, good
marriages are possible. God's plan is beautiful and most fulfilling, and no one will ever improve on it. One
man and one woman becoming one flesh until death do they part. Not everyone will realise that kind of ideal
arrangement in his or her life, but it remains, for most people, the ideal.
God takes marriage seriously. There are no perfect marriages but there can be good marriages. Those good
marriages occur when two people commit themselves to God and to one another . . . to become one flesh until
death do they part. It is not an easy task, but with God's help and serious commitment, it can be done.
Warm wishes.
Jamie
MADE IN HEAVEN?
A NEED TO FORGIVE
GOOD MARRIAGES ARE POSSIBLE