BUILD Mag June 2023

BEFORE YOU SET A
Boundary
By certified Life Coach
Tasneem Ahmed Insta: @tasneemmindfirst
Boundaries. The very word is enough to make us shiver in discomfort. It
conjures up images of uncomfortable conversations, confrontations &
having the entire world think we’re “bad people”. It’s no wonder then that
we choose avoidance & simply give in to yet another unreasonable demand.
The reason setting boundaries is such a challenge is not because you’re
too soft; rather, it’s more than likely that you’re unfamiliar with what
your needs & values are.
Over many years of people-pleasing we are bound to lose sight of what we
need and want in relationships, career & even health. We’re so far down the
list of our priorities that we unfortunately struggle to answer the question
“what do you like to do?”.
What if I told you that the answers to what you need are always with you?
It doesn’t take months of inquiry or deep meditation. In fact, it probably
happened a few times today already - it’s just not in the most affable
packaging.
Look at what elicits anger in you. Anger, frustration, mild irritation - all along
this spectrum of not-so-nice emotion sits a wealth of information. Here are
questions to get you started;
⁃What boundary of mine has just been crossed?
⁃What do I/did I need in the moment?
⁃What is this telling me about what I’d like/prefer/value instead?
Take note of your answers. You could journal them or keep them in your
notes app, as long as you have the information, you’ll have the means to
start mapping out the borders of what is sacred to you.
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