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Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2024

While you're waiting for this crazy weather to make up its mind, check out this March 2024 digital edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. Or grab a copy at your favorite retail spot. You'll find the best of what local businesses have to offer, and as always, you'll find great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.

While you're waiting for this crazy weather to make up its mind, check out this March 2024 digital edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. Or grab a copy at your favorite retail spot. You'll find the best of what local businesses have to offer, and as always, you'll find great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.

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UNCLE<br />

DIGEST<br />

ANDY’S<br />

Your local guide to... well, just about anything!<br />

MARCH<br />

<strong>2024</strong><br />

SINCE 1996<br />

207-782-7113<br />

Technician<br />

Wanted<br />

Apply Within!<br />

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com<br />

207THC.com<br />

25 Lisbon St. Lewiston<br />

IN & OUT SPECIAL<br />

15% OFF<br />

select items storewide at the<br />

first/last hour of every day!<br />

Open 7 days<br />

9am-9pm<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 1


Somebody stole all the toilets from the police station. The cops have nothing to go on.<br />

Quality Products<br />

Reasonable Pricing<br />

Don’t Rely Soley<br />

On LUCK.<br />

My team and I can help get you started on<br />

that “save more money” resolution.<br />

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.®<br />

CALL ME TODAY.<br />

30 years<br />

in business.<br />

Stop by my office and let's see how we can help<br />

with your insurance needs.<br />

A dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary is a Thesaurus.<br />

WE ARE HIRING!<br />

Now offering<br />

online stores<br />

Hats<br />

Think Spring<br />

Sports!<br />

Baseball<br />

Softball<br />

Lacross<br />

Track<br />

Mugs<br />

Pens<br />

Bags<br />

Call us for a quote TODAY!<br />

207-784-4184<br />

205 Washington St. South, Auburn<br />

coastaltshirts.com<br />

WE’RE GROWING!<br />

And looking to add to our sales team.<br />

• Self-motivated<br />

• Enjoy working with<br />

people & businesses<br />

• Potential for flexible hours<br />

Interested? Email Pam Ashby at Pam@lydiamediallc.com or call 207-783-7039<br />

I'm not like other girls, I know what I want for dinner. I've been thinking about it since lunch.


Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.<br />

We’re here for you<br />

Modern Woodmen of America continues to be strong and stable, even in these times of<br />

uncertainty. We’ve been around since 1883, standing strong through world wars, national<br />

disease outbreaks, depressions and recessions.<br />

Do you have questions or concerns about your financial plan, call today. We will continue<br />

to be here for you.<br />

Paul Colasante*<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-782-8823<br />

Art Chamberlain*<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-514-7003<br />

Mike<br />

Courtemanche*<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-783-8921<br />

Richard<br />

Courtemanche<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-786-3622<br />

Stacy Fortin<br />

Rumford, ME 04276<br />

207-357-5429<br />

Paul Gagne*<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-576-3426<br />

Ted Heidrich*<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-576-5656<br />

Ron Ouellette*<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-786-3612<br />

Kim Pelkey*<br />

Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

207-786-2573<br />

* Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned<br />

subsidiary of Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC<br />

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?<br />

He stops at nothing to avoid them.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 3


<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

is published by the first Friday<br />

of every month by Lydia<br />

Media LLC with its world<br />

headquarters located at 2<br />

Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B,<br />

Auburn, Maine, USA.<br />

Published and distributed<br />

since 1996 throughout<br />

Central Maine and mailed to<br />

subscribers all over the Free<br />

World. Subscriptions are<br />

$49 .95 /year.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com<br />

Office: 207-783-7039<br />

A guy was admitted to the hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach.<br />

His condition is stable.<br />

Smile Again<br />

Dentures<br />

Our Team<br />

PAM<br />

ASHBY<br />

PUBLISHER<br />

STEVE<br />

SIMARD<br />

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Like our name implies,<br />

We’ll help you Smile Again!<br />

STEPHANIE<br />

ASSELIN<br />

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Mike<br />

Adkins, LD<br />

STEPHANIE<br />

ARSENAULT<br />

OFFICE<br />

MANAGER<br />

Cassandra<br />

Gagnon, LD<br />

TOM HILL<br />

IT • WEB<br />

TIM<br />

ELWELL<br />

GRAPHIC<br />

DESIGNER<br />

CARICATURES COURTESY OF<br />

J. ANTHONY FIORI<br />

While <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

tries very hard to ensure the<br />

accuracy of the information in our<br />

clients’ advertisements and our<br />

publication in general, we are not<br />

responsible for vendor availability,<br />

typographical errors, technical<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> inaccuracies, Andy’s product <strong>Digest</strong> pricing<br />

errors, or omissions.<br />

4 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

Our Services<br />

• Rebases<br />

• Relines<br />

• Repairs<br />

• Full Dentures<br />

• Immediate Dentures<br />

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Repairs usually<br />

same day<br />

service!<br />

Joe<br />

Adkins, LD<br />

Licensed Denturists<br />

Call For A Free<br />

Consultation<br />

801 Webster Street, Lewiston | 514-0660<br />

SmileAgainDentures.com | smileagaindentures@gmail.com<br />

Today I lost my mood ring and I still don't know how I feel about it.


No one does it like Mac’s Grill!<br />

Serving all day on St. Patty’s Day!<br />

Check out our Bangers & Mash<br />

and our Corned Beef & Cabbage specials!<br />

HAVE A SWEET TOOTH?<br />

Try Out Our Shareable<br />

Cheesecake Flights!<br />

Everyone is a little<br />

Irish on <strong>March</strong> 17th!<br />

Have a Happy<br />

Saint Patty’s Day!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 5<br />

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com


Out and About at<br />

ROOPER'S<br />

Multiple Locations<br />

What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?<br />

KLJ Excavation<br />

& Construction<br />

Karen Cloutier,<br />

Main St., Auburn<br />

Lisa Y<br />

Main St. Auburn<br />

This tasting<br />

was instense.<br />

Kirk Waterman Logging<br />

• Fully insured<br />

• Full Site work :<br />

from clearing<br />

to completion<br />

Matt Lanois,<br />

Minot Ave, Auburn<br />

Nick Gibbens<br />

Employee,<br />

Main St. Auburn<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

6 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

Kirkwaterman@ymail.com | 207-890-8713<br />

110 Proctor Heights Dr. Waterford ME 04088<br />

My girlfriend thought I'd never be able to make a car out of spaghetti.<br />

You should've seen her face when I drove pasta


Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning.<br />

For any disaster,<br />

call ServiceMaster!<br />

www.smfireandwater.com<br />

www.smcarpetcleaning.com<br />

ICE DAMS?<br />

FROZEN PIPES?<br />

WE CAN HELP!<br />

WATER FIRE MOLD<br />

29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn<br />

(800) 244-7630<br />

(207) 539-4452<br />

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.<br />

Stay 9 nights - Pay for 5!<br />

Start planning your <strong>2024</strong> camping adventure now!<br />

promo code UNCLE945<br />

9 for 5 in a year round cabin<br />

on bookings through April 30th<br />

promo code BOGO945<br />

9 for 5 at RV and tent sites<br />

valid 5/10 through 6/16 & 9/3 through 9/30<br />

BOOK NOW!<br />

Entrepreneur<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

A young man, Brian,<br />

asked an old rich man<br />

how he made his<br />

money.<br />

The old guy thought<br />

for a moment and said,<br />

“Well, Brian, it was<br />

1932. The depth of the<br />

Great Depression. I<br />

was down to my last<br />

nickel. I invested that<br />

nickel in an apple. I<br />

spent the entire day<br />

polishing the apple<br />

and, at the end of the<br />

day, I sold the apple<br />

for ten cents.”<br />

The old man continued,<br />

“The next morning,<br />

I invested those<br />

ten cents in two apples.<br />

I spent the entire<br />

day polishing them and<br />

sold them at 5:00 pm<br />

for 20 cents. I continued<br />

this system for a<br />

month, by the end of<br />

which I’d accumulated<br />

a fortune of $1.37.”<br />

“And that’s how you<br />

built an empire?” Brian<br />

asked.<br />

“Heavens, no!” the old<br />

man replied. “The wife<br />

an I won the lottery.”<br />

Up to 20% Savings everyday<br />

when you book 7 days or more<br />

cooscanyoncamping.com<br />

Hiking • Mountain Biking • ATV Trails<br />

Swimming • Gold-panning • Fishing & MORE!<br />

I once met a pig that did karate. We called him Pork Chop.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 7


Out and About at<br />

ROOPER'S<br />

Multiple Locations<br />

Mindy Levesque,<br />

Minot Ave<br />

24 Hour<br />

Service<br />

235 N. River Road, Auburn<br />

207-777-5600<br />

www.pro-techrefrigeration.com<br />

protechoffice11@yahoo.com<br />

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.<br />

Now offering medical benefits!<br />

Fully Insured<br />

Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston, and the surrounding communities!<br />

PRO-TECH REFRIGERATION<br />

IS GROWING!<br />

We are seeking<br />

MOTIVATED<br />

SERVICE<br />

TECHNICIANS<br />

& INSTALLERS<br />

to join our team!<br />

Air Conditioning & Heating<br />

Out and About at the<br />

Remi with Owner<br />

Ashton<br />

I’m going to be<br />

in the <strong>Digest</strong>!<br />

OH BOY!<br />

Roddy Doustout<br />

Local Excavation Company<br />

Commercial, Residential<br />

excavation, & Site work<br />

Now scheduling for<br />

spring & summer <strong>2024</strong><br />

Tiffany Bickford<br />

shawn@hirdcontracting.com 207.754.2343<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

8 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing Windows.


The doctor told his patient to stop using Q-tips, but it just went<br />

in one ear and out the other.<br />

Providing a warm and comfortable<br />

home for our residents.<br />

Out and About at<br />

ROOPER'S<br />

Multiple Locations<br />

Roddy, calm<br />

down be more<br />

like TJ.<br />

Brandon Stone,<br />

Minot Ave, Wholesale<br />

The Chapman House<br />

Home for senior ladies<br />

Barbara Brown<br />

As Spring draws near, consider a new beginning<br />

at the Chapman House!<br />

We raise the standard of senior resident care.<br />

The Chapman House has private rooms available<br />

for residents, aged 65 and older, who need<br />

assistance with bathing, medications, and meals.<br />

Billy Longley<br />

& Heidi Nolosko<br />

Bubbles for<br />

a bubble.<br />

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961<br />

Bonnie Iwans<br />

Tyler “TJ” Johnson<br />

What should you call an average potato? A commen-tater.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 9


Out and About at<br />

ROOPER'S<br />

Multiple Locations<br />

Had a blast at<br />

Rooper's tasting!<br />

Angela Peck,<br />

Minot Ave, Auburn<br />

Main Street Music<br />

& Roger Renaud<br />

Scholarship Fund<br />

Two of my children and I had been<br />

taking lessons at Main Street Music<br />

for several years. Then COVID happened.<br />

Like many other families,<br />

our income took a hit throughout<br />

the pandemic. A few months in, I<br />

reluctantly decided to pause our lessons<br />

for the foreseeable future.<br />

Steve at Main Street Music posted<br />

on Facebook that day, letting his<br />

friends know that a family among<br />

his students needed some help.<br />

Later that week he called to tell me<br />

that money had been donated and<br />

our lessons would not be disrupted.<br />

And that was the beginning of the<br />

Main Street Music scholarship<br />

fund. Many generous individuals<br />

and organizations have donated<br />

since then, giving Main Street Music<br />

the ability to provide the same<br />

support to other students, as well.<br />

CALL TODAY TO DONATE<br />

My dog can do magic tricks. He's a labracadabrador.<br />

LA’S #1 STOP FOR ALL<br />

YOUR MUSIC NEEDS!<br />

207-376-3376<br />

Main Street<br />

Music Lessons<br />

WELCOMING NEW STUDENTS<br />

FOR IN PERSON LESSONS!<br />

• LESSONS • REPAIRS • SALES • RENTALS<br />

MAIN STREET MUSIC LESSONS SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM IS SUPPORTED BY<br />

THE ROGER RENAUD SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM<br />

33 Dunn Street, Auburn | www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com<br />

Brei Tyler<br />

Anchor Promotions,<br />

Minot Ave, Auburn<br />

Dawn Friel<br />

Manager Roopers,<br />

Main St. Auburn<br />

Jenn Clifford<br />

Employee,<br />

Main St. Auburn<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

10 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

In Ireland, “Quit acting the maggot,” means stop being up to no good.<br />

Celebrate St. Paddy’s Day With Us!<br />

Corn Beef & Hash<br />

Take Out<br />

Available!<br />

207-782-2135 Auburn Mall<br />

Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm<br />

DAILY SPECIALS<br />

MONDAY - CLOSED<br />

Fried Pickle Basket<br />

Thatcher’s Burger<br />

25oz domestic drafts<br />

3 Beef Tacos<br />

Thatcher’s Burrito<br />

Well Margaritas • Coronas<br />

SATURDAY<br />

Stuffed Peppers<br />

Buffalo Chicken Salad<br />

Microbrews<br />

2 Hot Dogs w/fries<br />

Miller Lite Bottles<br />

SUNDAY<br />

TUESDAY<br />

WEDNESDAY<br />

THURSDAY<br />

FRIDAY<br />

Clam Cake Basket<br />

Fish & Chips<br />

12" Cheese Pizza<br />

Bloody Mary’s<br />

Domestic Light/Lite Drafts<br />

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.


There’s No Place Like...<br />

Your one-stop<br />

shop for:<br />

• Amazing food<br />

(eat in or take out)<br />

• Agency liquor store<br />

with beer cave<br />

Agency Liquor Store & Beer Cave.<br />

• Lottery tickets<br />

• Redemption center<br />

Grab n’ Go Items Everyday!<br />

DONATE YOUR BOTTLES TO<br />

Fresh Green Mountain Coffee.<br />

WE CATER<br />

Full serve catering at the location of your choice.<br />

Help grant a wish to a local child<br />

battling a critical illness<br />

207-345-5551<br />

Dad’s Redemption Center<br />

BOOK YOUR<br />

<strong>2024</strong><br />

CORPORATE<br />

EVENTS<br />

NOW!<br />

207-345-9009<br />

DadsPlaceCatering.com<br />

REDEMPTION CENTER<br />

6 ¢<br />

on all 5¢ returns with this coupon.<br />

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place<br />

Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm<br />

(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays)<br />

(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s UAD exp. <strong>Digest</strong> 3.31.24<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 11<br />

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com


Out and About at<br />

ROOPER'S<br />

Multiple Locations<br />

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.<br />

Tickets<br />

on sale<br />

now!<br />

46 Cedar St., Lewiston<br />

207-689-2000<br />

www.francocenter.org<br />

Danielle Benway<br />

Dog Jo - Roopers,<br />

Minot Ave<br />

Joyce Fontaine, Lew,<br />

Main St. Roopers<br />

Save these dates!<br />

Doors open one hour<br />

before shows.<br />

Parking is in the<br />

mill lot on Oxford St.<br />

La Rencontre<br />

lunch &<br />

entertainment<br />

Thursday, <strong>March</strong> 7<br />

featuring<br />

Denny Breau<br />

$17 per person<br />

French program sponsors:<br />

FACE Foundation and TV5 Monde<br />

MAGIC BUS:<br />

The Who Tribute Band<br />

7 p.m. Saturday, <strong>March</strong> 9<br />

Tier 1 tickets in advance are $30 and at<br />

the door: $35.<br />

Tier 2 tickets in advance are $25 and at<br />

the door: $30.<br />

Show sponsors: Dirigo Federal Credit Union;<br />

Lawn Guard; Norway Savings Bank;<br />

and Platz Associates<br />

7-10 p.m. Friday, <strong>March</strong> 15<br />

Wear white or neon clothes<br />

for the full effect of the<br />

black lights! Woohoo!<br />

Cash bar, best bartender around!<br />

$10 at the door gets you in!<br />

4:30-6 p.m. Saturday, <strong>March</strong> 30<br />

$12 per adult/$5 child 12-under<br />

Traditional<br />

Franco-American bean supper<br />

prepared by Chef John!<br />

Fabulous desserts, too!<br />

2-4 p.m. Sunday, <strong>March</strong> 10<br />

BMW: Last Hurrah!<br />

Denny Breau, Mark Miller, Arlo West<br />

$30 in advance<br />

$35 at the door<br />

Lynn Bouchard,<br />

Baxter Brewing<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

12 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my grandmother’s teeth.


The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation.<br />

It doesn't make any cents.<br />

Helping keep your<br />

home healthy<br />

& Maintenance<br />

Now offering<br />

dryer vent<br />

cleaning<br />

& Air duct<br />

cleanings<br />

10% OFF<br />

CLEANINGS<br />

CALL NOW!<br />

207-619-0868<br />

Eligible for Medicare?<br />

CALL US TODAY<br />

to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.<br />

30+<br />

Years of<br />

Experience!<br />

Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston<br />

No need<br />

to be “chili”<br />

warm up with<br />

some good food!<br />

Hot Spinach & Artichoke Dip<br />

Three Bean & Beef Chili<br />

Scan the QR code<br />

to check out<br />

our menu<br />

85 Center Street, Auburn | 207-784-8221 | 11a-9p daily<br />

Today, my son asked, "Can I have a bookmark?" I burst into tears. Eleven years old<br />

and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.<br />

Pretty<br />

Discount<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

So, old Johnny goes<br />

into the car showroom<br />

and finds the car he<br />

wants to buy:<br />

Old Johnny asks the<br />

salesman not sell the<br />

particular model till<br />

the next day, since he<br />

wants to buy it on his<br />

birthday.<br />

The salesman gives<br />

his word.<br />

The next day Johnny<br />

goes back to the<br />

showroom only to find<br />

the car being sold to a<br />

gorgeous young lady.<br />

Old Johnny pulls over<br />

the salesman and<br />

says, “I asked you to<br />

keep this car on hold<br />

for me. Not only didn’t<br />

you keep your word, I<br />

see you also sold it to<br />

that lady at a discounted<br />

rate.”<br />

The salesman replies,<br />

“She insisted to buy<br />

only this car, and with<br />

a discount.”<br />

“Look how beautiful<br />

she is? How could I<br />

say no to her?”<br />

The young lady interrupts<br />

them and walks<br />

up to old Johnny and<br />

gives the car keys to<br />

him.<br />

She smiles at the<br />

salesman, then turns<br />

back to old Johnny and<br />

says, “Didn’t I tell you<br />

they’d give me a discount?<br />

Happy birthday,<br />

Dad!”<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 13


Blarney<br />

Stone<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

A group of Americans<br />

are touring Ireland.<br />

One of the women in<br />

the group, Vanessa,<br />

is a real curmudgeon,<br />

constantly complaining.<br />

“The bus seats are<br />

uncomfortable, food<br />

is terrible, too hot, too<br />

cold, accomodation is<br />

dreadful,” are some<br />

of the issues Vanessa<br />

has.<br />

One day, the group arrives<br />

at the site of the<br />

famous Blarney Stone.<br />

We are<br />

looking<br />

for new<br />

crew<br />

mates!<br />

Servers, Bartenders,<br />

Kitchen positions<br />

available<br />

Excellent<br />

pay for<br />

skilled<br />

mates!<br />

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.<br />

The Village Inn<br />

Saint Patrick’s day dinner served all day<br />

Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, & carrots.<br />

Check Out Our Weekly Specials<br />

207-782-7796 | 165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com | Open Wednesday - Sunday<br />

Out and About at the Exchange Club<br />

“Good luck will be followin’<br />

ya all your days<br />

if you kiss the Blarney<br />

Stone,” their guide<br />

says. “Unfortunately,<br />

it’s being cleaned<br />

today and so no one<br />

will be able to kiss it.<br />

Perhaps we can come<br />

back tomorrow.”<br />

“We can’t be here<br />

tomorrow,” the nasty<br />

woman shouts. “We<br />

have some other boring<br />

tour to go on, so I<br />

guess we can’t kiss the<br />

stupid stone.”<br />

Hailey Hughes, St. Doms; Kyle Reed, St. Doms; Alexia Landry, LHS;<br />

and Jillian Dumais, EL.; & Tim Rucker (Club President)<br />

Winter Hours 9am-5pm<br />

“Well now,” the guide<br />

says, “it is said that if<br />

you kiss someone who<br />

has kissed the stone,<br />

you’ll have the same<br />

good fortune.”<br />

“And I suppose you’ve<br />

kissed the stone?”<br />

Vanessa scoffs.<br />

“No, ma’am,” the frustrated<br />

guide responds<br />

“But I have sat on it.”<br />

1975 Lisbon Road, Lewiston<br />

ABCPOOL.COM | TEXT ANYTIME 207-783-0858<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

14 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.


May the ten toes of your feet steer you clear of all misfortune.<br />

Take the luck out of it!<br />

Out and About<br />

At The<br />

Let us help you find your next home.<br />

Design-Build, Turn-Key Packages, Single or Multi-Level Homes, One Loan.<br />

(No Construction Loan Needed in Most Cases)<br />

Abigail Bowie,<br />

Norway Brewing<br />

This was the best<br />

happy hour!<br />

Jon<br />

Mercier<br />

Mark<br />

Turner<br />

Lindsay<br />

Wright<br />

Deb<br />

Morin<br />

Linda<br />

Dupuis<br />

Mason<br />

Dupuis<br />

Malayka<br />

Harriman<br />

Dustin<br />

Mallar<br />

368 Minot Avenue, Auburn | 207.333.6001 | mainesourcehomes.com<br />

There are only two kinds of people in the world, the Irish and those who wish they were.<br />

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP<br />

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS<br />

I N S U R A N C E<br />

...Your Security is Our Concern!<br />

Locally Owned & Operated<br />

Lewiston Str ng<br />

HOME,<br />

AUTO,<br />

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AND MORE<br />

JustinBlouin,<br />

Trinken Brewing<br />

Jamie Foss<br />

150 East Ave. Lewiston 207-783-2246 | 888-983-2246<br />

Visit our new location at: 243 Mount Auburn Ave., Suite C, Auburn<br />

Josh Michaud,<br />

Ambition Brewing<br />

You shouldn’t iron a four-leaf clover, you might press your luck!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 15


Out and About at<br />

ROOPER'S<br />

Multiple Locations<br />

People wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day because regular rocks are too heavy.<br />

<strong>March</strong> march Special!<br />

Nikki Hernandez<br />

General Manager,<br />

Roopers,<br />

Main St. Auburn<br />

47 Broad Street, Auburn<br />

www.firehouseauburn.com<br />

207-376-4959<br />

Monday - Saturday 11a-9p<br />

You’ll Love<br />

our Daily<br />

Specials!<br />

$<br />

9<br />

Tropical Irishman<br />

BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey<br />

Out and About at the<br />

Suzanne Travers<br />

Main St. Auburn<br />

Mike and Carol Truchon of Promoberries and Pam Ashby<br />

Tiffany Calder,<br />

Employee Minot Ave<br />

Brianna Tompkins<br />

RoySnow.com<br />

207.782.3734<br />

Serving Maine since 1947<br />

11 Library Ave.<br />

Auburn<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

16 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

I like retirement because there are still 7 days in a week, but now there<br />

are 6 Saturdays and 1 Sunday.


The leprechaun went outside to sit on his paddy-o!<br />

JOIN A TEAM THAT VALUES ITS MEMBERS!<br />

Scan here to<br />

Apply Today!<br />

www.debloiselectric.com<br />

Immediate openings for<br />

experienced licensed electricians<br />

Leprechauns recycle because they like to go green!<br />

Rolly’s Diner<br />

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!<br />

A Third Wish<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

A man was sitting<br />

alone in his office one<br />

night when a genie<br />

appeared in a puff of<br />

smoke and said, “And<br />

what will your third<br />

wish be?”<br />

The man looked at the<br />

genie and said, “Huh?<br />

How can I be getting<br />

a third wish, when I<br />

haven’t had a first or<br />

second wish yet?”<br />

“You have had two<br />

wishes already,” the<br />

genie said, “but your<br />

second wish was for<br />

me to put everything<br />

back the way it was<br />

before you made your<br />

first wish. Thus, you<br />

remember nothing, because<br />

everything is the<br />

way it was before you<br />

made any wishes. You<br />

have one wish left.”<br />

“Okay,” said the man,<br />

“I don’t believe this, but<br />

what the heck. I wish<br />

I were irresistible to<br />

women.”<br />

“Funny,” said the<br />

genie, “That was your<br />

first wish, too.”<br />

Serving Breakfast<br />

All Day!<br />

RollysNewAuburn.com<br />

Monday-Saturday: 6am-2pm<br />

Closed Sunday<br />

Closed on St. Patrick’s day<br />

Visit us!<br />

Corned Beef Dinner<br />

will be served <strong>March</strong> 14th<br />

Corned beef, potatoes,<br />

carrots, turnip, cabbage,<br />

and onions. Meal includes<br />

a dessert.<br />

87 Mill Street, New Auburn | 207-753-0171<br />

Willy Wonka’s dog is a chocolate lab.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 17


Rooted Hair Studio<br />

Auburn Location<br />

I find that most of my conversations start with: “Did I already tell you this?” or “What<br />

was I going to say?”<br />

Auburn, Maine - Rooted<br />

Hair Salon is excited to<br />

announce its new location<br />

at 214 Minot Avenue, Auburn.<br />

The new location is<br />

designed to be welcoming<br />

and cozy for our staff and<br />

clients.<br />

Courtney has been a hair<br />

professional for eight years<br />

and has spent countless<br />

hours perfecting and practicing<br />

her craft. Her passion<br />

for hair lies almost entirely<br />

in color, with blonding being<br />

#1.<br />

Michael has been doing<br />

hair for 27 years. Throughout<br />

his career, he’s taken<br />

multiple advanced education<br />

classes through<br />

companies like Matrix,<br />

Chi, GHD, Abba, Rusk,<br />

and many more. He loves<br />

every aspect of hair styling<br />

but finds his passion<br />

lies with cutting, blonding,<br />

and all aspects of color. He<br />

also has experience with<br />

extensions and is looking<br />

forward to offering that as<br />

a service.<br />

The main goal for Rooted<br />

Hair Studio is to provide<br />

an accepting, comfortable,<br />

fun environment for our<br />

staff and guests. Their mission<br />

is to give you fantastic<br />

hair and an amazing overall<br />

experience. They are excited<br />

to start this journey and<br />

share this space with current<br />

and future clients.<br />

Out and About at the American Legion Post 153<br />

Commander Mike Tardiff presents Jim Rowe, Odyssey of the<br />

Mind with profits from Breakfast.<br />

Muriel celebrated...<br />

her 90th birthday with us<br />

and can't wait for the next party!<br />

The Meadows<br />

“Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”<br />

we have availability starting<br />

at $1500 per month<br />

#433 RT. 202, P.O. BOX 629, GREENE • 946-3007<br />

American<br />

Legion, William<br />

J. Roger's Post<br />

153 held a<br />

Sunday Breakfast,<br />

benefitting<br />

ELHS & Auburn<br />

Middle School,<br />

Odyssey of the<br />

Mind Teams.<br />

Breakfast<br />

brought $700 to<br />

the teams.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

18 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

Worrying works! More than 90 percent of the things I worry about never happen.


I hate putting things in a safe place and basically lose it forever.<br />

Out and About<br />

WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER<br />

NEW MEMBERS!<br />

At The<br />

Great atmosphere<br />

and great beer!<br />

Dream Local Digital<br />

dreamlocal.com<br />

Leger’s Slate Sculpture Art<br />

legersbusiness@gmail.com<br />

Maine Immigrant Refugee Services<br />

meirs.org<br />

Nutty Nettie’s Cafe<br />

nuttynetties.com<br />

415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM<br />

Mason Haley<br />

& Brendan Moore<br />

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end<br />

and I think, well, that's not going to happen.<br />

Dave Palazollo<br />

& Misty Edgecomb<br />

*APY = Annual Percentage Yield. Rates effective as of 10/2/23. Rates are subject to change. A penalty may<br />

be imposed for early withdrawal. Early withdrawal penalty can be waived for qualifying life events such<br />

as disability, death or nursing home care. Minimum deposit for a Share Certificate is $500. Member eligibility<br />

required. This Credit Union is federally insured by NCUA and is an Equal Housing Lender.<br />

Dan Robitaille<br />

& Pam Ashby<br />

When I heard that oxygen and magnesium were dating I was like Omg.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 19


Exact<br />

Change<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

Diet Tip: Your pants never get too tight if you don't wear any.<br />

Rick walks into a<br />

restaurant with a fullgrown<br />

ostrich behind<br />

him.<br />

As he sits, the waitress<br />

comes over and asks<br />

for their orders.<br />

Rick says, “I’ll have a<br />

hamburger, fries and a<br />

coke,” and turns to the<br />

ostrich, “What’s yours?”<br />

“I’ll have the same,”<br />

says the ostrich.<br />

A short time later the<br />

waitress returns with<br />

the order.<br />

“That will be $6.40<br />

please,” and Rick<br />

reaches into his pocket<br />

and pulls out the exact<br />

change for payment.<br />

The next day, Rick and<br />

the ostrich come again<br />

and he says, “I’ll have<br />

a hamburger, fries<br />

and a coke,” and the<br />

ostrich says, “I’ll have<br />

the same.”<br />

LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience!<br />

40 East Avenue, Lewiston | www.sea40me.com | 207-795-6888<br />

Out and About at the<br />

EVERY WEDNESDAY<br />

7-9pm In Our Lounge<br />

3/6 - Robert Fowler<br />

3/13 - Michael Krapovicky<br />

3/20 - TJ Swan<br />

3/27 - Toby McAllister<br />

Once again Rick<br />

reaches into his pocket<br />

and pays with exact<br />

change.<br />

This becomes a routine<br />

until late one evening,<br />

the two enter again.<br />

“The usual?” asks the<br />

waitress.<br />

“No, this is Friday<br />

night, so I will have a<br />

steak, baked potato<br />

and salad,” says Rick,<br />

“same for me,” says<br />

the ostrich.<br />

A short time later the<br />

waitress comes with<br />

the order and says,<br />

cont’d on the next page<br />

Bringing the Ocean to your Table<br />

Party<br />

Platters<br />

Available<br />

(orders only)<br />

Take out • Dine in<br />

Homemade Goods<br />

Gift Certificates Available<br />

The freshest seafood around!<br />

Gray, ME<br />

Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 11a-6p • Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p<br />

WE HAVE<br />

LIVE LOBSTERS!<br />

Indulge in our<br />

seafood delights!<br />

We make<br />

“Take & Bake Meals”<br />

We prepare it you<br />

take it and bake it!<br />

207-657-3474<br />

59c Portland Road, Gray<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

20 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

I feel like we should act better being the result of 3.8 billion years of evolutionary success.


I may look lazy, but on a molecular level I'm quite busy.<br />

cont’d from the previous page<br />

“That will be $12.62.”<br />

Information Session:<br />

February 20th at 4:00pm<br />

February 26th - <strong>March</strong> 15th<br />

8:00am - 4:30pm / Monday - Friday<br />

Duration 3 weeks / 120 Hours<br />

www.cmcc.edu/workforce • 207-755-5280 • workforcedevelopment@cmcc.edu<br />

PROGRAM DETAILS<br />

This course covers the fundamental principles of<br />

installing, testing, and maintaining FTTx networks<br />

properly. Students will build and develop the skills<br />

required to become a fiber optic technician by<br />

covering the various methods of splicing, terminating,<br />

testing, and commissioning fiber optic cable. After<br />

successfully completing this course, students will have<br />

the skills necessary to become FBA Certified Fiber<br />

Optic Technicians. The annual salary for a Fiber Optic<br />

Technician ranges from $48,000 to $62,000/year.<br />

SCAN HERE<br />

TO REGISTER!<br />

or visit centralmaine.cc/workforceapply<br />

PREREQUISITES<br />

• At least 18 years of age<br />

• High School Diploma, GED, or Hi Set<br />

• U.S. Citizenship and Work Authorization<br />

• Maine Resident<br />

www.cmcc.edu/workforce • workforcedevelopment@cmcc.edu<br />

Central Maine Community College does not discriminate and is an equal opportunity/affirmative action<br />

employer. for more information, please call 207-755-5396 or email humanresources@cmcc.edu.<br />

Once again Rick pulls<br />

exact change out of his<br />

pocket and places it on<br />

the table.<br />

The waitress can’t hold<br />

back her curiosity any<br />

longer. “Excuse me,<br />

sir. How do you manage<br />

to always come up<br />

with the exact change<br />

out of your pocket<br />

every time?”<br />

“Well,” says Rick,<br />

“several years ago I<br />

was cleaning the attic<br />

and I found an old<br />

lamp. When I rubbed it<br />

a Genie appeared and<br />

offered me two wishes.<br />

My first wish was that<br />

if I ever had to pay<br />

for anything, I would<br />

just put my hand in<br />

my pocket and the<br />

right amount of money<br />

would always be there.”<br />

“That’s brilliant!” says<br />

the waitress. “Most<br />

people would wish<br />

for a million dollars or<br />

something, but you’ll<br />

always be as rich as<br />

you want for as long as<br />

you live!”<br />

“That’s right, whether<br />

it’s a gallon of milk<br />

or a Rolls Royce, the<br />

exact money is always<br />

there,” says Rick.<br />

COURSE DATES: TBD<br />

<strong>March</strong> - June <strong>2024</strong> • Tuesday Nights 5:30<br />

In-person - Central Maine Community College • 1250 Turner St. Auburn ME<br />

The waitress asks,<br />

“One other thing, sir,<br />

what’s with the ostrich?”<br />

Rick sighs, pauses,<br />

and answers, “My<br />

second wish was for<br />

a tall chick with long<br />

legs who agrees with<br />

everything I say.<br />

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 21


<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

22 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong>


<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 23


In All<br />

Honesty<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

As Mr. Smith was finalizing<br />

his living will, he<br />

attempted to formulate<br />

a plan that would allow<br />

him to take at least<br />

some of his considerable<br />

wealth with him.<br />

He called for the three<br />

men he trusted most,<br />

his lawyer, his doctor,<br />

and his clergyman.<br />

Mr. Smith told them,<br />

“I’m going to give you<br />

each $30,000 in cash<br />

before I die.<br />

At my funeral, I want<br />

you each to place the<br />

money in my coffin so I<br />

can take it with me.”<br />

All three agreed to do<br />

this and were given the<br />

money.<br />

At the funeral, each<br />

approached the coffin<br />

in turn and placed an<br />

envelope inside.<br />

While riding in the<br />

limousine back from<br />

the cemetery, the clergyman<br />

said, “I have<br />

to confess something<br />

to you fellows. Brother<br />

Smith was a good<br />

churchman all his life,<br />

and I know he would<br />

have wanted me to do<br />

this. The church needed<br />

a new baptistery<br />

very badly, and I took<br />

$10,000 of the money<br />

he gave me and<br />

bought one. I only put<br />

$20,000 in the coffin.”<br />

The doctor then said,<br />

“Well, since we’re confiding<br />

in one another, I<br />

might as well tell you<br />

cont’d on the next page<br />

I was told never to date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.<br />

THE AMERICAN LEGION<br />

FAMILY<br />

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays<br />

and get a surprise!<br />

“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”<br />

Members & Guests Welcome!<br />

AMERICAN LEGION ACT<br />

Veterans who were honorably discharged<br />

but whose service did not fall into previously<br />

defined war eras may now join<br />

the American Legion immediately. The<br />

eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,<br />

until a time when the U.S. is no longer at<br />

war, as determined by Congress.<br />

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on<br />

Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”<br />

For Veteran or Community services, call<br />

207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229<br />

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems. But it will annoy enough<br />

people to make it worth the effort.<br />

Trevor loved his<br />

animals and would<br />

have adopted all the<br />

cats and dogs at the<br />

shelter if he could.<br />

We are honoring his<br />

memory and his love<br />

for pets by asking<br />

those who can donate<br />

in his name to the<br />

Greater Androscoggin<br />

Humane Society. Scan<br />

the code below and<br />

put “In memory of<br />

Trevor Saunders.”<br />

Hall Rentals Available<br />

Call for more<br />

information<br />

207-782-1118<br />

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118<br />

HOURS: Monday - Wednesday: 12pm-8pm • Thursday 12pm-9pm<br />

Friday: 12pm-11pm • Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm<br />

MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS<br />

FRIDAYS 7-11pm in <strong>March</strong><br />

Jerry Joe - <strong>March</strong> 8th, & 22nd • 4:30 - 6:30pm<br />

BREAKFAST BUFFET - SUNDAY MARCH 17TH • 8-10AM<br />

Scrambled eggs, sausage gravy, sausage, Bacon, baked beans, home fries, crepes,<br />

toast/creton, coffee, & juice. Adults $10 • Kids Under 10 $5<br />

SONS MEETING DATE - 3/11/24 AT 5:30PM<br />

SAINT PATRICK’S CORNED BEEF DINNER<br />

Saturday, <strong>March</strong> 16th - 4-6pm<br />

Corned beef, potatoes, cabbage, carrots,<br />

dinner roll & dessert - $12<br />

STARTING APRIL 15TH,<br />

Dues will increase to $52 per year for Legionaires due to National increase.<br />

SUNDAYS<br />

Bloody Marys with Kevin<br />

MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20 TH , <strong>2024</strong><br />

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6:30PM GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 7PM<br />

Legion Members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25<br />

In Memory of<br />

Trevor Saunders<br />

Scan here<br />

to donate<br />

Or if these photos or<br />

dedication inspires<br />

you to adopt yourself,<br />

Trevor and your pet<br />

will be ‘fur’ever<br />

grateful.<br />

55 Strawberry Avenue, Lewiston | 207.783.2311 | gahumane.org<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

24 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


We have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart?<br />

LA’S BEST SEAT FOR SPORTS<br />

120 Center Street Auburn<br />

Sunday – Wednesday<br />

Thursday – Saturday<br />

11am to 10pm<br />

11am to 11pm<br />

www.gippers.com<br />

The Shamrock was<br />

The<br />

was<br />

considered a sacred plant<br />

SAINT PATRICK’S DAY<br />

Sunday, <strong>March</strong> 17th<br />

Traditional Boiled Dinner<br />

Corn beef, potato, cabbage, carrots,<br />

turnips & homemade soda bread!<br />

Guinness + Black & Tans on special<br />

<strong>March</strong> Madness starts <strong>March</strong> 19th<br />

The shamrock, a threeleaf<br />

clover, has been associated<br />

with Ireland for<br />

centuries. It was called<br />

the “seamroy” by the<br />

Celts and was considered<br />

a sacred plant that<br />

symbolized the arrival<br />

of spring. According to<br />

legend, St. Patrick used<br />

the plant as a visual<br />

guide when explaining<br />

the Holy Trinity. By<br />

the 17th century, the<br />

shamrock had become<br />

a symbol of emerging<br />

Irish nationalism.<br />

cont’d from the previous page<br />

that I didn’t put the full<br />

$30,000 in the coffin<br />

either. Smith had a disease<br />

that could have<br />

been diagnosed sooner<br />

if I had this very<br />

new machine, but the<br />

machine cost $20,000<br />

and I couldn’t afford it<br />

then. I used $20,000 of<br />

the money he gave me<br />

to buy the machine so<br />

that I might be able to<br />

save another patient. I<br />

know that Smith would<br />

have wanted me to do<br />

that.”<br />

The lawyer then said,<br />

“I’m ashamed of both<br />

of you. When I put<br />

my envelope into that<br />

coffin, it held my personal<br />

check for the full<br />

$30,000.”<br />

Swindled<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

A newsboy was standing<br />

on the corner with<br />

a stack of papers, yelling,<br />

“Read all about it,<br />

fifty people swindled!<br />

Fifty people swindled!”<br />

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NFP.com<br />

681 Sabattus St., Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

Curious, a man walked<br />

over, bought a paper,<br />

and checked the front<br />

page.<br />

Finding nothing, the<br />

man said, “There’s<br />

nothing in here about<br />

fifty people being swindled.”<br />

The newsboy ignored<br />

him and went on,<br />

calling out, “Read all<br />

about it, fifty-one people<br />

swindled!”<br />

I saw a parade of rabbits hopping backward. It was crazy, I've never seen<br />

a receding hare line like that.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 25


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Heat Pumps/AC,<br />

Oil & Gas Furnace<br />

Don’t Get<br />

Caught In<br />

The Cold<br />

Get A Free Quote!<br />

www.lamassagemaine.com<br />

We specialize in domestic<br />

car & truck, automatic<br />

& manual transmissions,<br />

transfer cases & differentials.<br />

NOW HIRING<br />

Ron<br />

Charpentier, Jr.,<br />

Owner<br />

Ryan Queen • hvacsolutions207@gmail.com<br />

Call for a quote: 782-0525<br />

EVERGREEN<br />

CUSTOM PRINTING, INC.<br />

2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn | Info@evergreencustomprinting.com<br />

SERVICES OFFERED<br />

Aluminum<br />

Wood<br />

Vinyl<br />

Chain-link<br />

Ornamental<br />

Electric gates<br />

Decks, railings & more<br />

hopkinsfencingandcarpentry@gmail.com<br />

m e e t yo u r friends and<br />

c o l l e a g u e s for happy hour<br />

a t rusty bus<br />

Thurs. & Fri. 4 - 9pm • Sat. 1 - 9pm • Sun. 1 - 5pm<br />

120 Lisbon Street Lewiston | 207-450-0131<br />

Stephanie<br />

Asselin<br />

Marketing Specialist<br />

207.458.8574<br />

stephanie@LydiaMediaLLC.com<br />

Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services<br />

Mike Magretto 207-530-8890<br />

Veteran Owned & Operated<br />

EmeraldJanitorialServices.com<br />

Proud Publisher of<br />

TWO local magazines!<br />

2 Great Falls Plaza Suite 1B, Auburn<br />

207.783.7039 | LAMetroMagazine.com | <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

26 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

I just read that alligators can grow up to 15 feet. But I haven't seen any with more than 4.


CALL THE PROS<br />

Follow us on<br />

Professional<br />

Cleaning Service<br />

Residential<br />

Commercial<br />

Windows<br />

Floors<br />

207-712-2765 realcleanllc.com Serving Maine<br />

Lincoln Street<br />

RADIATOR SHOP<br />

Family owned & operated since 1967<br />

Bring it to our experienced<br />

technicians for service.<br />

Vehicle Problems:<br />

We service radiators,<br />

AC, cooling & heating<br />

systems, gas tanks<br />

and lots more!<br />

207-784-9356<br />

1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston Monday-Friday: 8a-5p<br />

Coach Terry’s<br />

REDEMPTION<br />

CENTER<br />

The friendly redemption center<br />

Happy Saint<br />

Patty’s Day<br />

225-2008 | Tidswell Road Turner | Open daily 8am-4pm<br />

Discover a variety of<br />

GUNS • AMMO • SUPPLIES<br />

Fine Line<br />

Gun Shop<br />

(207) 998-2374<br />

590 Plains Rd., Poland<br />

Walther PDP Full<br />

Size Match 5”<br />

• 5” 1/9 Twist<br />

Barrel<br />

• Factory Optics<br />

Mounting Cut<br />

• Two 18 rd Mags<br />

& One 20rd Mag<br />

Are You A Small Business?<br />

Advertise with us.<br />

It Works!<br />

Marketing Available<br />

for All budgets!<br />

207.783.7039<br />

Poisson & Sons Auto Care<br />

260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144<br />

FULL SERVICE GAS STATION<br />

Don, Hope your<br />

recovery is<br />

quick so you<br />

can get back<br />

to work!<br />

MARCH <strong>2024</strong><br />

STICKERS<br />

ARE DUE!<br />

Safety Tip:<br />

Keep your vehicle maintained through the winter.<br />

Winter driving can be tough on a vehicle. It’s<br />

important that you and your<br />

passengers stay safe!<br />

Michael Giambra<br />

Scuba Class<br />

for all leprechauns<br />

G<br />

PAINTING & DRYWALL<br />

COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL<br />

G<br />

&<br />

207-754-9798<br />

giambra34@gmail.com<br />

Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise<br />

Snorkel gear<br />

available for<br />

your vacation!<br />

BE VACATION READY<br />

WITH A<br />

SNORKEL OR<br />

SCUBA CLASS!<br />

805 Main Street, Lewiston • 784-7300 • www.skindiversparadise.net<br />

It's never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground.<br />

You'll have trouble putting on your pants.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 27


Out and About<br />

At The<br />

Denise Pearson<br />

Linda McDonough<br />

Cookies<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

George took his young<br />

daughter to the grocery<br />

store with him. In<br />

addition to the healthful<br />

items on the carefully<br />

prepared shopping<br />

list, they returned with<br />

a box of sugar-laden<br />

cookies.<br />

George noticed the<br />

glare of his wife,<br />

Susan, and said, “This<br />

box of cookies has<br />

one-third fewer calories<br />

than usual.”<br />

“Why is that?” Susan<br />

asked.<br />

“We ate a third of the<br />

cookies on the way<br />

home,” George replied.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

28 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

If Walmart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store free yet?<br />

4 TH ANNUAL<br />

KORA SHRINERS<br />

SPORTSMEN EXPO<br />

APRIL 12-14, <strong>2024</strong><br />

Kora Shrine Center<br />

11 Sabattus Street, Lewiston, ME<br />

No Admittance Cost!<br />

The Sportsmen Expo will feature vendors who promote<br />

outdoor activities for the entire family including hunting,<br />

fishing, skiing, and camping merchants as well as ATV,<br />

snowmobile and backyard game suppliers.<br />

NEW IN <strong>2024</strong>:<br />

Youth ATV Safety Course<br />

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND:<br />

• Comedian Juston McKinney<br />

• Youth Hunter Safety Course<br />

Win an<br />

Outdoor Activity<br />

Raffle Package<br />

50/50 Cash Raffle<br />

to be drawn on April 14 th<br />

FOR MORE<br />

INFO VISIT<br />

KORASHRINERS.ORG/<br />

SPORTS-EXPO<br />

Proceeds benefit the Kora Shrine and<br />

are not deductible as a charitable donation.<br />

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down<br />

by your doctor, instead of by the police.


Richard Moylan<br />

(207) 777-0050<br />

BUSINESS<br />

SP TLIGHT<br />

791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn<br />

richardmoylan@allstate.com<br />

Out and About at<br />

ROOPER'S<br />

Multiple Locations<br />

Insurance and coverages subject to terms.<br />

qualifications and availability. Allstate Property<br />

and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire<br />

and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook,<br />

Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company<br />

207-782-7141<br />

207-782-7141<br />

Family, Friends & Pizza!<br />

Happy Saint Patty’s Day<br />

Call us<br />

for a free<br />

estimate!<br />

Cleanings for:<br />

Property Management<br />

Commercial/ Office<br />

Post Construction<br />

Rental Turn Over<br />

207-713-1550<br />

Beth Woodhead<br />

& Michelle Verrill-Valley<br />

Beverage<br />

Beth Woodhead,<br />

Katrina MacDonald,<br />

& Kandi Allen<br />

LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM<br />

Pooper Scooping Services<br />

Snow is melting...<br />

All you see is poo?<br />

We can help!<br />

We scoop so you don’t have to!<br />

207-713-1550<br />

CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE WAS AN AMERICAN INNOVATION<br />

The meal that became a St. Patrick’s Day staple across<br />

the country—corned beef and cabbage—was an American<br />

innovation. While ham and cabbage were eaten in<br />

Ireland, corned beef offered a cheaper substitute for<br />

impoverished immigrants. Irish Americans living in<br />

the slums of lower Manhattan in the late 19th century<br />

and early 20th purchased leftover corned beef from<br />

ships returning from the tea trade in China. The Irish<br />

would boil the beef three times—the last time with<br />

cabbage—to remove some of the brine.<br />

As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes,<br />

and I can’t remember the other two.<br />

Al Johnson<br />

Derick Reece<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 29


Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.<br />

Shuga Shak Country Store<br />

YEAH<br />

SPRING!<br />

Maple Baked Beans<br />

every Saturday!<br />

We have the perfect<br />

wines for your<br />

St. Patrick’s Day<br />

Celebratioan!<br />

Open Daily 10a-5p<br />

Wine • Local Products<br />

Honey • Pickles • Jams<br />

Candies • Crafts...<br />

and much more!<br />

Ice Cream & More<br />

450 Pigeon Hill Road<br />

(Rte 26), Mechanic Falls<br />

207-576-7886<br />

CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER<br />

NOW IS THE TIME TO CHECK OUT OUR INVENTORY OF <strong>2024</strong> RV’S.<br />

Mug Club Coming Soon!<br />

Limited Number Available!<br />

Now open 7 days a week!<br />

Daily<br />

Specials<br />

Like us on Facebook<br />

675 Main St. Lewiston | 207.753.1446<br />

Jayco- High Quality Design<br />

& Award Winning Rv’s.<br />

Visit us!<br />

Experience what camping can offer!<br />

848 Main Street, Oxford • 207-539-4410 • www.callofthewildrv.com<br />

Mon.-Fri. 11am-6pm • Closed Weekends and Holidays<br />

Offering homemade meals,<br />

appetizers, and treats<br />

to eat-in or take home.<br />

~ fresh or frozen ~<br />

~ single or family-size ~<br />

meals • soups • salads • desserts<br />

7 main st., gray | 657.1092 | twomumskitchen.com<br />

Mainely Sticky Buds<br />

Let Us Roll<br />

For You!<br />

0.60¢ Per Roll<br />

Owner of Maine’s first<br />

blackbird roll pro machine<br />

346-1130 | Tina@mainelystickybuds.com<br />

High-quality<br />

products!<br />

Lab tested premier<br />

wholesaler<br />

Are you looking to<br />

buy, sell, or trade?<br />

Scan here<br />

The proud<br />

publisher of<br />

TWO local<br />

magazines!<br />

UNCLEANDYS.COM | LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM<br />

2 GREAT FALLS PLAZA, SUITE 1B, AUBURN | 207.783.7039<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

30 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

We shouldn't be this kind of tired at our age.


By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss<br />

and work twelve hours a day.<br />

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP<br />

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS<br />

I N S U R A N C E<br />

...Your Security is Our Concern!<br />

Lewiston Str ng<br />

150 East Ave. Lewiston &<br />

243 Mount Auburn Ave. Auburn<br />

Locally Owned & Operated<br />

We welcome Jonathan Knowlton who joined Champoux Insurance Group in February as<br />

an Account Executive, with 20 years of experience in the insurance and investment field.<br />

After graduating from Thomas College with honors, he went to work for Metlife as a personal<br />

financial representative. From there he worked for Allstate insurance and within 3 years,<br />

had opened his own agency on Sabattus Street in Lewiston. Jonathan closed the agency<br />

after 13 successful years. Making sure clients are educated about the risks they face and<br />

protecting them with auto, home, and life insurance products has always been important to<br />

him; local families truly are in good hands with him. Jonathan lives in Auburn with his wife<br />

and son and enjoys ice fishing, ATVing, hiking, growing hot peppers and volunteering with<br />

the Boy scouts. Champoux Insurance Group welcomes John to our Team.<br />

207-783-2246 | 888-983-2246<br />

Are You A Small Business?<br />

We Can help you with Advertising!<br />

Out and About<br />

At The<br />

Heather Willey<br />

Toussaint, Bangor<br />

Savings Bank<br />

It Works!<br />

Give us<br />

a call Today<br />

207-783-7039<br />

Steve Simard,<br />

Lydia Media<br />

2 great falls plaza suite 1b, Auburn<br />

Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our <strong>2024</strong> specials!<br />

Roy’s<br />

FOODLAND<br />

Best Chicken &<br />

Ham Salad<br />

IN THE WORLD!<br />

Try our hamburger,<br />

it’s the best!<br />

Rick Osgood,<br />

Evergreen Printing<br />

SATURDAY<br />

Beans, bread/rolls &<br />

cole slaw<br />

$11.99<br />

WEDNESDAY<br />

Ham, Veggie, Salami,<br />

or Pepperoni Italians<br />

$3.49<br />

PIZZA PACKS<br />

Pizza<br />

Packs<br />

$12.99<br />

Beanie Babies<br />

on Sale Here!<br />

70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471<br />

www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com<br />

Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed<br />

Stephanie Asselin,<br />

Lydia Media<br />

I'm not an early bird or a nightowl, I am some form of exhausted pigeon.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 31


| EVENTS |<br />

MARCH<br />

<strong>March</strong> 2<br />

The Beer Trail- LA Charter<br />

Auburn<br />

Departing at 12pm<br />

lametromagazine.com<br />

https://lametromagazine.<br />

com/la-beer-trail-<strong>2024</strong>/<br />

<strong>March</strong> 2<br />

Ben Kilcollins<br />

Sonder and Dram<br />

12 Ash Street Lewiston<br />

6:30-9:30pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 9<br />

The Beer Trail-Oxford<br />

Hills Charter<br />

Departing at 11:30am<br />

lametromagazine.com<br />

https://lametromagazine.<br />

com/la-beer-trail-<strong>2024</strong>/<br />

Geno & Kassidy<br />

Veilleux<br />

together 19 years<br />

Elaine & Angelo<br />

Terreri<br />

married 44 years<br />

Scott & Taryn Raye<br />

Harriman<br />

together 10 years<br />

Lewiston PAL Bruins<br />

Alumni Game<br />

The Coliseé<br />

190 Birch St. Lewiston<br />

2:00pm<br />

www.bostonbruinsalumni.com<br />

Feb. 15 - <strong>March</strong> 17<br />

CCU’s 4th Annual<br />

Signature Soup Challenge<br />

https://campaignforendinghunger.org/communitycu/<br />

100% of proceeds donated go<br />

to Maine Credit Union’s Campaign<br />

for Ending Hunger<br />

Participating Locations:<br />

Bakery Barn, 892 Lisbon St.,<br />

Lewiston 207.330.7607<br />

Bear Pond Variety, 5 Trask<br />

Rd., Turner 207.224.7873<br />

(Mon-Fri Signature Soup is<br />

featured)<br />

Daddy O’s, 5 Pigeon Hill Rd.,<br />

Mechanic Falls 207.345.2909<br />

Governor’s Restaurant<br />

& Bakery, 1185 Lisbon St.,<br />

Lewiston | 207.753.0173<br />

The Highland Grille,<br />

10 Highland Ave., Turner<br />

207.224.7090<br />

Jimmy’s General Store,<br />

1093 Upper St., Turner<br />

207.225.2228<br />

Mac’s Grill, 1052 Minot Ave.,<br />

Auburn 207.783.6885<br />

Simones’ Hot Dog Stand,<br />

99 Chestnut St., Lewiston<br />

207.782.8431<br />

Thatcher’s Restaurant<br />

& Pub, 550 Center St.,<br />

Auburn 207.782.2135<br />

Webb’s Market, 131 Pine St.,<br />

Lewiston 207.784.4073<br />

Adam & Dalia Nason, together 6 years<br />

<strong>March</strong> 6<br />

Robert Fowler<br />

Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine<br />

40 East Ave. Suite 2 Lewiston<br />

7:00pm-9:00pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 7<br />

Denny Breau @ LaRencontre<br />

Franco Center<br />

46 Cedar St Lewiston<br />

10:30am-1:00pm<br />

207.689.2000<br />

FrancoCenter.org<br />

Jay Larkin<br />

Sonder and Dram<br />

12 Ash Street Lewiston<br />

6:30-9:30pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 8 & 9<br />

Comedy Hypnotist Bob<br />

Lauver<br />

Great Falls Comedy Club<br />

34 Court St, Auburn<br />

7:30pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 9<br />

Comedy Hypnotist: Bob<br />

Lauver<br />

34 Court St Auburn<br />

7:30pm<br />

GreatFallsComedy.com for tix<br />

Magic Bus: The Who<br />

Tribute Band<br />

Franco Center 46 Cedar St.<br />

Lewiston<br />

7:00pm-9:30pm<br />

207.689.2000| FrancoCenter.org<br />

<strong>March</strong> 11<br />

Teen Open Mic Night<br />

Auburn Public Library<br />

3:00pm-4:00m<br />

49 Spring St. Auburn<br />

jfowler@auburnpubliclibrary.org<br />

207.333.6640 Ext. 2025<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

32 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong>


IT MIGHT NOT BE TOO LATE!<br />

SIGN UP FOR<br />

THE BEER<br />

TRAIL HERE!<br />

| EVENTS |<br />

<strong>2024</strong><br />

<strong>March</strong> 12<br />

Crafty Kids: Rainbow<br />

Macaroni Wall Hanging<br />

4:00pm-5:00pm<br />

Maggie Trafton Room<br />

49 Spring St. Auburn<br />

bdyer@auburnpubliclibrary.org<br />

207.333.6640 Ext. 3<br />

<strong>March</strong> 13<br />

Michael Krapovicky<br />

Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine<br />

40 East Ave. Suite 2 Lewiston<br />

7:00-9:00pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 15-24<br />

The Public Theater:<br />

Secret Hour<br />

31 Maple St. Lewiston<br />

207.782.3200<br />

ThePublicTheater.org<br />

<strong>March</strong> 16<br />

David Jacquet<br />

Sonder and Dram<br />

12 Ash Street Lewiston<br />

6:30-9:30pm<br />

The Maine Music Society<br />

A Breath of Mozart<br />

Franco Center<br />

46 Cedar St. Lewiston<br />

7:00pm<br />

MaineMusicSociety.org<br />

<strong>March</strong> 16<br />

Corned Beef Dinner<br />

American Legion Post #153<br />

4:00-6:00pm<br />

71 South Main St. Auburn<br />

<strong>March</strong> 17<br />

<strong>March</strong> 17<br />

Legion Breakfast<br />

American Legion Post #153<br />

71 South Main St. Auburn<br />

8:00-10:00am<br />

The Maine Music Society<br />

A Breath of Mozart<br />

Franco Center<br />

46 Cedar St. Lewiston<br />

2:00pm<br />

MaineMusicSociety.org<br />

<strong>March</strong> 18<br />

Disability Rights Maine<br />

Info Session<br />

Auburn Public Library<br />

10:00am-11:30am<br />

Second Floor<br />

49 Spring St. Auburn<br />

dwallace@auburnpubliclibrary.org<br />

207.333.6640 Ext. 4<br />

<strong>March</strong> 20<br />

TJ Swan<br />

Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine<br />

40 East Ave. Suite 2 Lewiston<br />

7:00-9:00 pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 21<br />

Ben Kilcollins<br />

Sonder and Dram<br />

12 Ash Street Lewiston<br />

6:30-9:30pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 23<br />

Nordiques vs. Hat Tricks -<br />

Fan Appreciation Night<br />

The Coliseé<br />

190 Birch St. Lewiston<br />

7:00pm<br />

thecolisee.simpletix.com<br />

The Beer Trail- Brunswick<br />

Charter<br />

Departing at 11:00am<br />

lametromagazine.com<br />

https://lametromagazine.<br />

com/la-beer-trail-<strong>2024</strong>/<br />

<strong>March</strong> 23 - 24<br />

Auburn Maine Home Show<br />

At Norway Savings Bank Arena<br />

985 Turner St. Auburn<br />

Free parking<br />

9am-4pm<br />

Admission:<br />

Seniors and Veterans $6.50 each<br />

General admission $7.50 each<br />

Children & Teens Free with<br />

paying adult<br />

sales@mainehomeshow.com<br />

<strong>March</strong> 24<br />

Public Skate<br />

The Coliseé<br />

190 Birch St. Lewiston<br />

11:00am<br />

info@thecolisee.com<br />

<strong>March</strong> 27<br />

Toby McAllister<br />

Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine<br />

40 East Ave. Suite 2 Lewiston<br />

7:00-9:00pm<br />

<strong>March</strong> 30<br />

Capital City Improv<br />

Great Falls Comedy Club<br />

34 Court St, Auburn<br />

7:30pm<br />

Michelle Gosselin<br />

Ervin & Tim Ervin<br />

together 7 years<br />

Samantha & Eric<br />

Potvin<br />

together 8 years<br />

ADVERTISERS GET 2 FREE<br />

EVENTS TO PUT<br />

ON THE CALANDAR.<br />

NON-ADVERTISERS<br />

$25 PER EVENT.<br />

BILLING@UNCLEANDYS.COM<br />

OR CALL 207-783-7039<br />

ASK FOR STEPHANIE<br />

Send us your events for April by <strong>March</strong> 22nd. Call 207.783.7039 or email billing@LydiaMediaLLC.com<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 33


Gone<br />

Camping<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

Sherlock Holmes and<br />

Dr. Watson decide to<br />

go on a camping trip.<br />

I've lost the key to my imagination, now I can't start my unicorn.<br />

After dinner and a<br />

bottle of wine, they lay<br />

down for the night, and<br />

go to sleep.<br />

Some hours later,<br />

Holmes awoke and<br />

nudged his faithful<br />

friend.<br />

“Watson, look up at the<br />

sky and tell me what<br />

you see.”<br />

Watson replied, “I see<br />

millions of stars.”<br />

“What does that tell<br />

you?” Holmes questioned.<br />

Watson pondered for a<br />

minute.<br />

“Astronomically, it tells<br />

me that there are millions<br />

of galaxies and<br />

potentially billions of<br />

planets. Astrologically,<br />

I observe that Saturn is<br />

in Leo. Horologically, I<br />

deduce that the time is<br />

approximately a quarter<br />

past three. Theologically,<br />

I can see that<br />

God is all powerful and<br />

that we are small and<br />

insignificant. Meteorologically,<br />

I suspect that<br />

we will have a beautiful<br />

day tomorrow.”<br />

Astronauts use Linus because you can’t use windows in space.<br />

Tell our advertisers<br />

you saw them in<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s!<br />

“What does it tell you,<br />

Holmes?” Watson<br />

qustioned back.<br />

Holmes was silent for<br />

a minute, then spoke,<br />

“Watson, you idiot!<br />

Someone has stolen<br />

our tent!”<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

34 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong><br />

When you ask me what I'm doing and I say "nothing" it's because<br />

that's what I had planned.


I feel like I'm in season 5 of my life and the writers are just making stuff up at this point.<br />

RoopersBeverage.com<br />

Redemption Manager<br />

Andy Frenette<br />

980 Main Street, Oxford |539.6072<br />

1420 Lisbon Street, Lewiston |333.3095<br />

794 Sabattus Street, Lewiston | 783.6353<br />

686 Main Street, Lewiston | 344.1200<br />

I have known Andy personally for over 25<br />

years. When Steve was looking for a<br />

Redemption General Manager 4 years ago the<br />

first person I thought of was Andy Frenette.<br />

Steve wanted me to interview several people<br />

for that position but I knew in my heart that<br />

Andy was the perfect fit and we didn’t need<br />

to look any further. Great decision because<br />

Andy checks all the boxes as far as a Key<br />

Employee and leader. Dependable, adaptable,<br />

communicates, solves problems immediately.<br />

He is honest and most importantly a great<br />

freakin human being. We are so fortunate to<br />

have Andy with us. When your employees are<br />

happy they make the best ambassadors and<br />

Andy does that day in and day out. We are<br />

proud you are part of our family Andy<br />

Dufresne. :)<br />

-Jesse St Laurent, Company President<br />

301 Main Street, Auburn | 783.9098<br />

545 Minot Ave, Auburn | 783.2047<br />

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 35


Tax Planning<br />

& Preparation for<br />

Individuals & Business<br />

207-782-1040<br />

Check out just one of my reviews...<br />

Looking to Buy or Sell? I look forward to working with you NEXT.<br />

FINDING THE PERFECT HOME DOESN’T HAPPEN WITH LUCK!<br />

“CINDY IS THE BEST!<br />

Cindy has gone above and beyond for the past 2 years while trying to navigate this crazy market.<br />

She was always available to answer any of our questions no matter what time of day it was.<br />

She always was running comps for us and keeping us up to date on what was happening with<br />

the housing market. We could not of done this without her!” — ethorne14, February 2023<br />

Accounting<br />

& Tax<br />

Service You<br />

Can Trust!<br />

MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.<br />

Certified Public Accountant<br />

We Moved!<br />

P.O. Box 895<br />

2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B | Auburn, ME 04212<br />

CindyPowellSells207@gmail.com<br />

120 Center St. Suite 108 Auburn<br />

RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family<br />

We are stronger together<br />

Debbie Bodwell<br />

NMLS# 280336<br />

Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net<br />

181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210<br />

207.754.3962<br />

I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org)<br />

Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org.<br />

Your local guide to... well, just about anything!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

UNCLEANDYS.COM<br />

36 <strong>March</strong> <strong>2024</strong>

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