Get Revenge! Experience Your Ultimate Purpose

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE
DAR VUELTA
PARA VER
EN ESPAÑOL
WHERE ARE YOU, GOD?
MANAGING STRESS
A LIFE WORTH LIVING
A magazine
on a mission:
see page 2
GET REVENGE!
EXPERIENCE
YOUR ULTIMATE
PURPOSE
Issue 02 / 2024

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DELIVERS HOPE AND HELP
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VICTORIOUS LIVING
Victorious Living magazine provides real life
testimonies of the transforming power of
Jesus Christ through our bilingual magazine,
available in print and digital formats.
ARE YOU IMPRISONED
AND NEED
ENCOURAGEMENT?
Care Team provides pastoral care to currently and
formerly incarcerated people and their families as
well as connection to re-entry support.
Correspondence Team provides relational
support and Christian discipleship through
written and digital communication.
National Facility Tours provide encouragement
and life-skill tools to correctional leaders and
incarcerated persons through on-site events.
Bilingual broadcasts on prison tablets provide
mental health, addiction recovery support,
and Christian discipleship.
Write to us and join
our Victorious Living
Family today!
VL Correspondence
PO Box 2751
Greenville, NC 27836
Or email us from your
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hope@vlmag.org
Available on ICS, NCIC, Pay Tel,
Securus, and ViaPath tablets.
PHOTO BY S.H.A.R.P.

ISSUE 2, APRIL 2024
“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my
rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:5–6 NLT
Publisher & Executive Director
Kristi Overton Johnson
Editor
Rachel Overton
Spanish Translator
Ebert Morillo
Editorial Team
Karissa Anderson
Kristi Overton Johnson
Christina Kimbrel
Rachel Overton
Carla Owens
Creative Designer
Lauren Jones
Creative Content Team
Stephanie Carter
Deborah Griffin
Kristi Overton Johnson
Christina Kimbrel
Administrative Director
Carla Owens
Production Manager
Christina Kimbrel
Director of Digital Content
Sheridan Correa
Director of Prison Correspondence
Lauren Everett
Director of Care/Correctional Liaison
Pat Avery
Director of Partner Relations
Ashley Smith
Hispanic Outreach Director
Denise San Miguel
Story Contributors
Lisa Appelo
Jerrell Bullard
Sheridan Correa
Paula Fox
Kristi Overton Johnson
Christina Kimbrel
Melissa Lott
Na’Kedra Rodgers
Jason Sobel
Essie Faye Taylor
Marianne Van Dongen
Cover Photography
Drew Nicolello/Fusion Global
Photography
Arizona Portraits
Deanna Smith Photography
Drew Nicolello/Fusion Global
Easter Lilly (Courtesy of)
Essie Faye Taylor (Courtesy of)
The Jesus Infusion (Courtesy of)
Joey Meddock Photography
Marianne Van Dongen (Courtesy of)
Mike Barber Ministries
S.H.A.R.P. (Courtesy of)
Victor L. Foster
Artwork
Incarcerated Family Member
Victorious Living magazine is a publication of Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries, a 501(c) (3)
organization. Copyright © 2024, Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries, all rights
reserved. For permission to reprint or copy any material contained herein, please
contact us at admin@vlmag.org.
DISCLAIMER: The articles featured in Victorious Living are designed to inspire and encourage
our readers by sharing powerful testimonies from people who, we believe, have been transformed
by God’s grace, love, and power. The articles are focused on each individual’s testimony.
Although we conduct some independent research, we rely heavily on the information provided
to us by those we interview. Our articles are not intended to be an endorsement of the views,
opinions, choices, or activities of the persons whose stories we feature. The statements, views,
and opinions of those persons whose stories we feature are purely their own, and we do not
control and are not responsible for any such statements, views, or opinions.
HOW TO REACH VICTORIOUS LIVING
General, Subscription, and Partnership Inquiries
• Victorious Living
PO Box 2801, Greenville, NC 27836
• 352-478-2098
• admin@vlmag.org
All Prison Inmate Correspondence
• Victorious Living Correspondence Outreach
PO Box 2751, Greenville, NC 27836
• hope@vlmag.org
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Scripture marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, copyright
©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. | Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible, New
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used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
3

THE VICTORIOUS LIVING STORY
One visit with an incarcerated friend in 2013 opened the eyes
of Victorious Living founder, Kristi Overton Johnson, to the
hopelessness of life behind bars. It also birthed in her a desire to
deliver hope to the souls of incarcerated men and women.
Soon after, God opened doors for Victorious Living magazine to
be distributed in the prison system. He then led Kristi and the VL
team onto prison yards to share His message of hope in person and,
more recently, digitally through prison tablets.
Before that prison encounter, Kristi had
spent 35 years water-skiing competitively
worldwide, never considering those
who had lost their freedom. But God
had a plan for this world champion
water-skier to go behind bars to
encourage hearts with God’s love
and His message of redemption
and to equip people to get up and
experience victorious living for
themselves.
Since 2013, Victorious Living
magazine has impacted the lives of
over one million incarcerated souls...
and the story is still being written.
BE A PART OF THE
VL STORY
Victorious Living is a great
way to carry out God’s
command to remember the
prisoner (Matthew 25:34–40;
Hebrews 13:3). Here’s how
you can help us deliver hope
to the incarcerated.
SHARE
Share VL with your local church,
chaplain, jail, or prison. VL is a
great mission to support and a
good tool to use too!
SUPPORT
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VLMag into jails and prisons, where
it saves lives. And when you give,
we’ll send you a copy too.
SPONSOR
Sponsor jails and prisons to receive
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PHOTO BY MIKE BARBER MINISTRIES PHOTO BY JOEY MEDDOCK PHOTOGRAPHY
VISIT VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM OR CALL 352-478-2098

ISSUE 2, APRIL 2024
CONTENTS
PHOTO BY DREW NICOLELLO/FUSION GLOBAL
8
9
13
25
14
STEPPING FORWARD
Where Are You, God?
BY PAULA FOX
God’s Approval Is All
You Need
BY CHRISTINA KIMBREL
Resilience in the Valley
BY NA’KEDRA RODGERS
Hope That Never Disappoints
BY LISA APPELO
TRANSFORMED
LIVES
Managing Stress
BY SHERIDAN CORREA
Satan uses every opportunity to distract and
discourage us from following Jesus. Learning
to manage stress will help you overcome those
things and rest in the peace Jesus offers.
19
10
16
The Relentless Love of God
BY KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON
You can run, but you can’t hide from God’s
love. He will pursue you until the moment
you turn to Him, and when you do, He’ll
welcome you with open arms.
FEATURES
Finding Beauty in the Storm
THE STORY OF ESSIE FAYE TAYLOR
Essie found out the hard way that when
we take matters into our own hands
instead of waiting for God’s perfect
plan in His perfect time, things can get
very messy and very painful. Still, the
moment we turn to Him, He turns our
ashes into beauty.
A Lifer Set Free
THE STORY OF MARIANNE
VAN DONGEN
What was supposed to put an end to
her pain multiplied it instead! Sentenced
to life in prison at 26 for murdering her
ON THE COVER
Raised in a Jewish
home, Jason
Sobel dedicated
much of his life to
finding truth. After
years of seeking
and studying, he
encountered the
Lord and found his
true identity as a
follower of Jesus
(Yeshua).
20
22
26
30
abusive husband, Marianne blamed God
for not fixing things in the first place.
But the harder she ran, the more God
pursued her.
COVER STORY
Experience Your Ultimate
Purpose
THE STORY OF JASON SOBEL
“Jason, you are called to serve Me.”
Imagine being a Jewish Buddhist, deep in
meditation, when suddenly your spirit is
lifted from your body and brought before
a King you can only acknowledge as Jesus,
the Messiah. Life changed for Jason in
that moment, and now, as a child of the
one true God, he knows his purpose in life.
He’d like you to know yours too.
Get Revenge!
BY JASON SOBEL
Worth Living
THE STORY OF MELISSA LOTT
Childhood trauma and abuse led to
poor decisions and more trauma as an
adult. By the time she was 23, Melissa’s
heart was hard and unfeeling. But
Jesus—the Light of the World and the
bringer of life—restored her heart, giving
her the ability to feel, forgive, and see
goodness in people.
Changed into a New Man
THE STORY OF JERRELL BULLARD
Despite a happy childhood, Jerrell ended
up running from the police, selling and
doing drugs, and spending time in jail.
Nothing he did to change worked, until he
turned his life over to Jesus. The Holy Spirit
of God made Jerrell into a new man.
IN EVERY ISSUE
6
Publisher’s Note
You Are Not Forsaken
33
Want to Know Jesus?
I’m Saved...Now What?
34
Ministry Info/Resources
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
5

PUBLISHER’S NOTE
You Are Not Forsaken
VL Publisher, Kristi Overton Johnson,
had the privilege of traveling with
Rabbi Jason Sobel and the Fusion
Global ministry team to the Holy Land
in May 2023.
Would you like to partner with
our magazine to deliver God’s
hope and to impact the lives of
incarcerated men and women?
Your gift enables us to send
this magazine into prisons
around the nation. Each
magazine impacts many lives
for years to come. To help, visit
victoriouslivingmagazine.com.
The world is becoming increasingly
dark, complex, and confusing.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking
about. Thank God, we don’t have to navigate
dark days alone; nor do we have to
be overcome by them.
Do you need a little light today to help you
navigate a dark valley? I know where you
can get it. Jesus says, “I am the light of the
world. If you follow me, you won’t have to
walk in darkness, because you will have
the light that leads to life” (John 8:12 NLT).
I love this verse. It promises that if we
follow Jesus, He will shine a light on our
path that will lead us to life—not death,
defeat, or despair. You and I never have
to grope about in the dark, feeling overwhelmed,
lost, or hopeless.
Jesus knows the way. In fact, in John
14:6, He tells us, “I am the way, the truth,
and the life.”
Are you in need of a way today? Do you
need truth or life? I’m not talking about
an ordinary life where you survive the
moment, but a full life. The people whose
stories you are about to read are living
proof that the abundant life Jesus died to
give us is possible (John 10:10).
Friend, when you follow Jesus and live
in the presence of the Light of the World,
no darkness—no trial, temptation, person,
emotion, circumstance, addiction—can
overcome you. “The light shines in the
darkness, and the darkness can never
extinguish it” (John 1:5 NLT).
The above-referenced scriptures
have been key verses for our Victorious
Living outreach. They are the promises
we stand on and the basis for the hope
we deliver.
Life is hard. Jesus even promised in
John 16:33 that we will have trials and
sorrows in this world. No one is exempt
from dark, painful, difficulties—not even
Jesus Himself. Even so, there is still hope.
We can face those dark days with smiles
and joy in our hearts. How? Because Jesus
has overcome the world and every dark
thing it throws at us.
So what dark thing are you facing today?
Stop and take a minute to identify it. Now
understand this: that thing or person or
event is no match for Jesus.
According to the promise of John 16:33,
He has already overcome it. It is conquered
and defeated. And do you know
what? Jesus achieved that victory for you.
He gave up His life to destroy the hold and
effects of darkness on you (Hebrews 2:14).
What’s more, He’s made you a conqueror
over dark things, too (Romans 8:37).
With Jesus, you can overcome any situation
(Philippians 4:13). Jesus will not
only light up your darkness and show you
the way, but He will give you the strength,
wisdom, peace, and power you need for
the journey, just like He did for the people
whose stories are in this issue.
As you read this magazine, it is my
prayer that the Lord will open your eyes
to see His marvelous light and give you a
fresh revelation of His presence, however
needed.
He is with you. He is for you. And not
for a moment will He forsake you (Psalm
23:4).
Kristi Overton Johnson
Publisher & Executive Director
PHOTO BY DREW NICOLELLO/FUSION GLOBAL
6 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

Through the stories of
Victorious Living, men and women
behind bars meet the God
of another chance.
Testimony of
Victorious Living Impact:
Andre Lightsey-Copeland
PHOTO BY ARIZONA PORTRAITS
SPONSOR A PRISON IN YOUR STATE
AND IMPACT LIVES TODAY.
Visit victoriouslivingmagazine.com.
Over a year has passed since
I was featured in Victorious
Living (Issue 1, 2023). I still
remember when I saw the
finished product. Seeing my
story, which is really God’s
story, in print on those pages
was humbling.
It was overwhelming to know
that people all over the country
were reading my testimony—
people who could relate to
being in a dark valley. I was
hopeful that as they read my
story and other testimonies
about how God chased us down
and engulfed us with His love,
that they would receive hope
for their lives.
I prayed they would see the
truth that all things are possible
through the Lord. God can
bring hope and life to those
who dwell in the darkest of
valleys. He can save lives that
seem to be a total loss and help
anyone rise and overcome
life’s adversities.
Our Lord and Savior is
still in the business of signs,
miracles, and wonders. Life
transformation is possible for
anyone who would surrender
to the love of God. I am living
proof, as is everyone else whose
story is in this magazine.
Thank you, Victorious Living,
for testifying to God’s goodness
through stories. Through our
testimonies and the blood of
Jesus, the Enemy is defeated!

STEPPING FORWARD
Where Are You, God?
BY PAULA FOX
I ENJOY WAKING UP EARLY, packing
a picnic breakfast, and driving to a spot
where I can watch the sunrise. It’s a favorite
pastime because God once revealed Himself
in a most powerful way in that early
morning sun. It happened during the painful,
dark time of my son’s incarceration.
Being a mother of an incarcerated son
wasn’t easy. I often encountered dark emotions
and cried, “Where are You, God?”
I struggled to understand how He was
working. I had so many questions, and
with each passing day, I became more selfabsorbed
and less aware of His presence.
My son was housed in a prison less than
fear of the unknown was almost too much
to bear.
“Where are You, God?” were often the only
words I could muster.
God seemed absent, and I felt more distant
from Him each time I drove away from
the prison. I couldn’t feel His presence or
see Him at work. Still, I knew God was my
only hope of survival.
During this time, I was reading a daily
devotional. One day’s entry spoke about
the presence of God in our lives, even
during our trials. Specifically, the author
unpacked Ecclesiastes 7:13–14 (NLT),
which says, “Accept the way God does
ahead of me. Time stood still as I gazed at
the breathtaking scene.
Suddenly, a sense of peace overcame
me, and I was no longer sad. As I surveyed
the beauty of God’s creation, it hit me—
He was present. Evidence of God was all
around me.
I experienced Psalm 19:1 powerfully. It
says, “The heavens proclaim the glory of
God. The skies display his craftsmanship”
(NLT). How many times had I missed His
glorious display during my drives because
I was so focused on my pain?
I couldn’t wait to get to the prison and
share that morning’s experience with my
an hour from my home. I did my
son. He, too, needed to know that
best to visit him every weekend.
Each Saturday, I left before dawn
to secure a spot at the front of the
visitation line so I wouldn’t have to
sit in a waiting room and miss precious
time with my son.
THE SAME GOD WHO IS WITH
ME WHEN LIFE IS GOOD REMAINS
WITH ME THROUGH MY TRIALS.
I don’t remember much about those things, for who can straighten what he has
drives except being entirely absorbed made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you
in dreaded anticipation. Visiting my son can, but when hard times strike, realize
brought so many emotions.
that both come from God.”
On one hand, I was grateful he was so The author reminded me that the same
close. Wrapping my arms around him God who is with me when life is good remains
with me through my trials. That
and seeing that he was alive and well was
priceless. But each visit also served as a week, during my drive to the prison, God
painful reminder that he was in prison and further revealed this truth.
that there was nothing I could do about it. I approached the top of a hill and saw the
Each week, those encounters with prison
life led me deeper into hopelessness. I horizon. The sky was ablaze with magnif-
most beautiful sunrise peeking over the
wrestled against “what if” scenarios. The icent colors, draped over the rolling hills
God was present. He hadn’t left us.
Shortly after that visit, I stumbled
upon Luke 1:78–79. “Because
of God’s tender mercy, the morning
light from heaven is about to break
upon us, to give light to those who
sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
and to guide us to the path of peace” (NLT).
I immediately remembered that morning
when God’s tender mercies met me.
The rising sun came to me from heaven
and broke through the darkness of my
heart. God shined His light on me and
helped me find my path to peace. He can
do the same for you.
PAULA FOX loves the Lord and serving His
children behind bars. She volunteers her time at
Kairos Prison Ministry and Victorious Living.
8 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

STEPPING FORWARD
God’s Approval Is
All That Matters
BY CHRISTINA KIMBREL
“THE LORD IS MY LIGHT and my salvation—whom
shall I fear? The Lord is the
stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be
afraid?” (Psalm 27:1 NIV). The psalmist David
was intimately acquainted with feelings
of fear and rejection, feelings that started
when he was a shepherd boy and stayed as
he became king.
For instance, when the prophet Samuel
came to Bethlehem to anoint the next king
of Israel, David’s father initially excluded
him from consideration (1 Samuel 16:10–11).
King Saul later became so jealous of David
that he tried to kill him (1 Samuel 18–19).
David’s own son Absalom conspired to overthrow
David and assume the royal position of
king (2 Samuel 15). Imagine how all that felt!
There’s no doubt that these situations hurt
David. His writings often expressed his feelings
of disappointment and sadness over
the rejection he endured, but he had also
learned to lean into his heavenly Father as
a constant source of comfort and provision.
Psalm 27 illustrates David’s confidence that
everything he needed came from the Lord,
not man.
The same is true in our struggles today to
feel like we belong.
For most of my life, I went to extreme
lengths to avoid rejection. In elementary
school, I endured relentless teasing and
bully ing that caused terrible anxiety and
daily panic attacks. I often pretended to be
sick so I could stay home and avoid the fear
and loneliness I felt.
And then, in the third grade, I figured out
a way to make the kids like me, at least temporarily.
It turned out, mean kids like candy,
and they would leave me alone if I gave them
some. Many were even nice to me all day.
So I started sneaking out my bedroom
window at night and shoplifting candy
from a grocery store near my house to take
to school. I could’ve gotten in
a lot of trouble for stealing, but
to me, the risk was worth it.
Nothing was worse than feeling
rejected. Talk about an
early lesson in manipulating
circumstances.
I carried that bad habit of
people-pleasing into adulthood,
doing things I knew
were wrong so that others
would accept me. I took crazy
risks with my life and freedom
and made foolish, impulsive
decisions to avoid feeling left
out or overlooked.
Those choices, of course,
came with heavy consequences.
Some even landed me in jail and prison.
But no matter how hard I tried, my actions
never won me the acceptance I craved.
When I learned that God loves me unconditionally
despite my flaws, mistakes,
and sins and that He loves me so much that
He wouldn’t leave me that way—everything
changed!
God had pursued me throughout my life to
adopt me into His family (Romans 8:16–17).
I am now a child of God, chosen, set aside,
and called for His purpose. And you can be
too. All you have to do is ask. It’s not what
we do for God or others that puts us in right
standing with God; it’s all and only because
of what Jesus did (Ephesians 2:8–10).
Moving away from people-pleasing has
been a journey. It helps when I remind myself
that seeking people’s approval hinders
me from serving the Lord. Galatians 1:10
puts it this way: “Am I now trying to win the
approval of human beings, or of God? Or am
I trying to please people? If I were still trying
to please people, I would not be a servant of
Christ” (NIV).
Wholeheartedly serving the Lord is my
greatest desire. I consistently evaluate my
motives to determine whether what I am
doing is for God’s glory or if I’m seeking to
gain approval from others. I don’t want to
harm my witness for Christ or contradict
the way God calls me to live. My relationship
with God is most important.
Besides, even my best efforts couldn’t gain
the approval of everyone…and that’s okay!
I remind myself that even mature Christ
followers can fall into the people-pleasing
trap, and we must all guard against it. The
best way to do that is to understand our identity
as a child of God.
Search the scriptures to discover the many
ways that you are loved and chosen by the
Creator of this world. And then embrace a
life free of the fear of rejection.
CHRISTINA KIMBREL serves as VL’s production
manager. Once incarcerated, she now ministers
hope to those held captive by their past and current
circumstances while sharing the message of
healing she found in Jesus.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
9

Finding Beauty
in the Storm
THE STORY OF
ESSIE FAYE TAYLOR
He
was a charismatic, energetic,
young founding pastor, an evangelist
who flashed a bright smile
as he extended his hand to greet
me. This man quoted scripture
verbatim, prayed fervently, and
executed his sermon deliveries
and altar calls masterfully.
I was quickly captivated by his
displayed passion for Jesus Christ
and his love for others, and after a brief courtship, we ran
down the wedding aisle. I couldn’t wait to be a pastor’s wife.
It wasn’t long, though, before I discovered a dark truth
about my husband. He wasn’t at all who he appeared or
claimed to be. Hiding behind clergy cloth was a pathological
liar and a manipulative pedophile.
The coming years were traumatic on many levels. After
three years of verbal abuse, multiple separations, and
spousal abandonment, we divorced. My faith was shaken
to its core; my heart lay shattered in a thousand pieces.
Deep inside, I screamed out to God. Where are You in all of
this? How could You have let this happen to me? I am a woman
of faith!
I loved the Lord profoundly and had served Him faithfully,
and this was what I got? I blamed God for the horrible
circumstances of my life—but they weren’t His fault.
The reality is that the Lord had sent me many warnings
about my relationship with this man. They had come
through the nudging of the Holy Spirit, certain events, and
the words of my parents and siblings. Not to mention, an
internal siren was blaring. My own gut instinct had warned
me to run the other way. But I ignored it all.
I kept looking for the answer I wanted. When I didn’t get
it from my usual sources, I turned to other people for spiritual
advice regarding God’s will. One adviser laughed at me
and scorned my concerns about my soon-to-be husband.
10 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

PHOTO COURTESY OF EASTER LILLY
Trusting his judgment over those who loved me, over my
own instincts, and over the Holy Spirit’s promptings, I ran
mindlessly down the marriage aisle and settled in a place
God never intended.
But now, on the other side, I can see my part in the story.
Today, I own the fact that I contributed to my unhealthy
marital experience.
If I had listened to the warnings, trusted God, and waited
patiently instead of stubbornly pushing ahead, I could have
avoided the intense depression, grief, and embarrassment
I would experience as a minister of the gospel and church
leader. I could have avoided the pain of our marriage.
Years of deep soul-searching and authentic self-reflection,
prayer, and therapy have brought me to this realization.
Thank God for His mercy. He stayed close and helped me
navigate many uncomfortable emotions. With every step,
He revealed His grace and unconditional, eternal love.
Today, I am healed because of God’s grace and my willingness
to partner with Him in self-discovery. God has taken the
ugliness of my life and turned it into something beautiful.
My decision to get married was a result of my naivete,
my desire to be accepted, my fear and anxiety, and my low
sense of self-worth and self-love. I had stopped trusting
God’s plan and timetable for my life.
The truth is, I ran to the altar because, as a 28-year-old
virgin with no social life, I was convinced no one would
ever ask me to be his wife. Church culture had taught me
that he—my husband—was supposed to find me.
I had been waiting and waiting, but with each passing
year, I became more fearful and disappointed. Godly men
came and went, but none chose me. So when this young
pastor that no one knew expressed interest in me, I shoved
aside the suspicions I had and ran down the aisle.
Why? Well, I could hear my biological clock ticking away.
If I didn’t marry this man, surely I’d miss my opportunity to
have a family. I was so afraid I wouldn’t have what I desired
most—children.
I also ran to the altar because I wanted to be a preacher’s
wife. Growing up in the faith community, I had witnessed
women hitting the glass ceiling that prevented them from
advancing in ministry. I was afraid that the scope of my
ministry, though ordained by God, would be determined
and severely limited by people in the church. I also knew
that glass ceiling didn’t exist for women whose husbands
oversaw the church, so that’s who I wanted to be.
I now know that my poor choices were the result of an
unhealthy perception of who I was. When I looked in the
mirror, I didn’t see myself as God saw me—His beautiful,
handcrafted work of art. I didn’t understand that God had
masterfully created me in His image.
Childhood traumas and young adult experiences had left
me unable to imagine that I was a person to be valued or
loved. Despite my involvement in church and my desire to
minister for God, I truly couldn’t see myself as someone He
would treasure. I wasn’t good enough for that.
So I ignored the relationship standards I knew should
exist and grabbed the first opportunity that looked like
my dream.
I settled in a place God never intended,
far from the good plans and hope-filled
future I’d read about in Jeremiah 29:11.
I quickly knew that’s not what it was, but since I probably
didn’t deserve love anyway, I accepted my lot in life.
Absorbing my husband’s verbal and emotional abuse, I
allowed myself to become a victim of my circumstances.
I settled in a place God never intended, far from those
good plans and that hope-filled future I’d read about in
Jeremiah 29:11. That’s what happens
when a person doesn’t understand
their worth and value. They settle in a
dry, barren wilderness and lose themselves
as they search for validation and
acceptance from others.
On top of the difficulties in my marriage,
I pressured myself to be what
I thought a pastor’s wife should be. I
wore myself out trying desperately to meet the expectations
of others. And I constantly fell short.
And then one day, everything changed. I gave up the
chase. I quit playing the victim card. I laid down all the
things I thought were supposed to make me worthy and
turned to the only One who could. That’s when God took
me by the hand and walked with me through the storm.
The light of His presence overshadowed the darkness
(John 16:33), and even though pain still existed, His love
opened my eyes to the beauty of my life and the person He
had created—me! Seeing myself through God’s eyes was
the key to my healing.
So how does God see me? How does He see you? Let me
share some of the healing truths I’ve found.
God sees a masterpiece, each person fashioned and formed
in their mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13–16) by His very hands
(Ephesians 2:10). God can only see beauty; He simply doesn’t
make junk.
God sees people of purpose, filled to the brim with gifts and
talents that can impact the world (1 Peter 4:10–11). When
God looks at us, He announces to all creation, “It is good”
(Genesis 1:31).
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
11

God sees His home in us. Second Corinthians 4:7 tells us
that God places the treasure of His Holy Spirit in broken,
messed-up us. And He lives in us (1 Corinthians 3:16).
God sees people who bring value into every space we enter.
Jesus calls us the world’s light and says we are salt that
brings flavor and healing to others (Matthew 5:13–15).
God sees people He loves, people who were worth dying for
(John 3:16). Despite all the horrible things He knew we would
do, God still sent His Son to die for us (Romans 5:8). This
sacrifice demonstrated His love for humanity and affirmed
our worth. Nothing we do or say will stop Him from loving
us. Nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38–39).
God sees the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8). This signifies
His affection for us and the lengths He will go to care for us.
He even calls us His friends (John 15:15).
God sees perfection; people in right standing with Himself
(Romans 3:24), even with our flaws and shortcomings. He
doesn’t see our sin; He sees the sacrifice of His Son. Our
past, no matter how grievous and dark, was removed from
us the minute we placed our faith in the work of the cross.
(See Psalm 103.)
Throughout the Bible and history, God has declared His
love for us and our worth. Isn’t it time that we start loving
what God loves? Yes, I mean ourselves.
Matthew 22:37–39 tells us to love the Lord with all our
hearts and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It’s
the greatest commandment. But here’s the thing: we can’t
love others unless we first love ourselves. Neither will we
experience the fullness of His love unless we love ourselves
the way He intends us to.
To love ourselves, we must embrace our identities, including
our flaws, strengths, weaknesses, and experiences.
God accepts us as we are, without limitation or condition. He
expects us to do the same. Christ-centered self-love is paramount
to the health of every relationship we’ll ever have.
Do you need help loving yourself? Ask the
Lord. Meet Him at the foot of the cross where
He paid the price to make you right in His
eyes. There, lose the “strong Christian” facade.
Talk to Him and surrender your self-hate, low
self-esteem, distorted self-perception, and
anything else preventing you from receiving
His love and accepting your worth. Then rise
and walk with Him into freedom. Take one
step at a time. You’ll find peace and joy in His
presence (Philippians 4:7).
Healing doesn’t necessarily happen overnight. Even a
believer who fully surrenders to God and walks in His perfect
plan may still experience a long, painful journey (John
16:33). But we’re no longer alone.
God promises to walk with us through every storm in
life and to give us His strength to endure and wisdom to
navigate. And along the way, He will heal every broken place
within and reveal beautiful truths about Himself, your circumstances,
others, and you.
His truth will help you recognize and reject unrealistic
expectations. It will also help you embrace the accurate
and relevant expectations founded in God’s Word. As you
renew your mind with His truth, you will find yourself in
the center of God’s perfect and pleasing will (Romans 12:2).
Unearthing the past and the things that made you who
you are can be uncomfortable. But God and the loving faith
community you surround yourself with will help you move
forward.
It’s a journey, but it’s worth the effort. God can help you
find beauty in the storm.
ESSIE FAYE TAYLOR is a wife, bilingual author, educator, speaker, psalmist, and
interpreter. As the author of the Finding the Love You Deserve series for women and
teens, she is deeply committed to sharing the healing power of the gospel. Learn
more at essiefayetaylor.com.
Renewing her mind daily with God’s Word
helped Essie Faye experience freedom and
health in relationship with God and others.
Christ-centered self-love is
paramount to the health of
every relationship we will
ever have.
PHOTO COURTESY OF ESSIE FAYE TAYLOR
12 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

STEPPING FORWARD
Resilience in the Valley
BY NA’KEDRA RODGERS
“THE GOD OF ALL GRACE, who called
you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you
have suffered a little while, will himself
restore you and make you strong, firm and
steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10 NIV).
Resilience is the ability to bounce back
after adversity. Life can hit you like a ton
of bricks. I’m sure you know exactly what
I’m talking about.
Recently, it seemed that everything that
could happen to me happened, all at the
same time. Tuition increased at the daycare.
All four tires on my truck needed
to be replaced. The refrigerator stopped
working. Between my husband and the
kids, we had several trips to the hospital
within a two-month period…and the
list went on.
I was barely catching my footing from
one blow before the next one hit. Life
was getting the upper hand, and I was
undoubtedly in the valley.
“Where are You, God,” I cried. “When
will You show up for me? How long will
I have to endure all this suffering? Don’t
You think I’ve learned my lesson? Come
on. I need a break.”
Have you ever felt that way? Have you
ever questioned how long your storm
would last? Have you ever contemplated
throwing up your hands and saying, “I’m
done. I’ve had enough. I can’t do this anymore.
It’s just too much. I’m over it.”
Thanks be to God, storms don’t last forever.
We suffer, but only for a little while.
I’m a living testimony that the darkest
nights inevitably see the breaking
of dawn. Don’t lose hope—God’s joy
does “come in the morning” (Psalm
30:5). A brighter day is ahead.
Here are some promises that
can help you through those dark
valleys. They have helped me.
• God will give you His strength
when you get weary. You will experience
increased power after
being weak (Isaiah 40:30–31).
• The trying of your faith will develop
patience and the ability to
persevere (James 1:3–4).
• God has already overcome everything
the world and the enemy
can send your way (John 16:33).
• God is always with you, and nothing
can separate you from His
love (Romans 8:38–39).
Don’t lose sight of these and other
promises from God. They build
resilience and will help you stay
the course and keep the faith until
the end.
Look back at all the storms
you’ve encountered. They were
bad, weren’t they? But look—you’re still
here! You’ve made it through your trials
before, and with God, you can do it again.
You can overcome anything with God on
your side (Philippians 4:13).
The God of all grace,
who called you to his
eternal glory in Christ,
after you have suffered
a little while, will
himself restore you and
make you strong, firm
and steadfast.
The valley you’re walking through won’t
last forever. Take the journey with God,
and you’ll be stronger, better, and wiser
than you were before.
What storms are you battling that have
tested your faith or caused you to be frustrated,
doubt-filled, or afraid? Give them to
God. Cast every care over to Him because
He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Trust Him as
you face the storm or move through that
valley. Take one step at a time. God’s track
record is proven.
According to Psalm 34:17, “The righteous
cry out, and the Lord hears them;
He delivers them from all their troubles”
(NIV).
Don’t ever stop praying to the Lord. Keep
crying out to Him. Your words are not in
vain. He hears you, and He will deliver you
from all your troubles.
1 Peter 5:10 ni v
NA’KEDRA RODGERS is a Southern belle with
sass. She enjoys empowering women as a speaker,
author, and podcaster. Her mission is to inspire,
encourage, and point lost souls to Jesus. Connect
with Na’Kedra at nakedrarodgers.com.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
13

TRANSFORMED LIVES
MANAGING STRESS
BY SHERIDAN CORREA
WE ALL ENCOUNTER difficulties
sion, physical sickness, obsessive
a state of toxic chronic stress. I
that cause stress. Jesus
even promised it (John 16:33).
Stress can come through difficult
people, circumstances,
and changes in this world. Even
good things can create stress.
Stress can lead us down two
paths: one of painful unrest or
one of peace. Our response to
stress determines our destination.
For many, stress leads to
painful unrest. This creates a
loop of anxiety, fear, depres-
thoughts, and straight-up
panic. It’s a helpless and hopeless
place to be.
Some of us have operated
in that realm of toxic chronic
stress for so long we aren’t even
aware of it. It’s all we’ve known.
Others recognize the stress but
have no idea what to do about it,
so they continue in it and just
become more stressed about
the stress.
For the first 37 years of my
life, before I met Jesus, I lived in
sought ways to manage the difficulties
I faced and the emotional
pain I felt but failed to
find any healthy solutions. The
unhealthy, worldly solutions I
did come up with only brought
more stress and damage to me
and those I loved.
I became bitter, not better.
Stress impacted every area of
my life—spiritual, mental, emotional,
physical, financial, and
relational. Because of the way
I handled it, I ended up alone,
broken, and desperate in a pit
of incarceration and addiction.
Jesus redeemed me from
that pit, but staying out of it
has required me to learn new
ways to manage life’s stressors.
Learning to properly manage
stress is the key to staying out
of life’s pits. Satan wants us to
be overcome by stress, but the
Lord wants us to overcome it
with His rest. Whew, that’s
a mouthful! Read that truth
again.
God cares deeply about
what stresses us. He knows
that anxiety and unrest can
imprison His children if we
ignore them. Satan knows it,
too, and he takes advantage of
it every chance he can. Satan
knows that if we don’t properly
manage stress, we lose sight of
God and His promises. We take
matters into our own hands and
become defeated, discouraged,
anxious, fearful, and bitter.
Stress disrupts the shalom
of God. Shalom is a peaceful
resting in Him, His promises,
and His ways. God has good
plans and purposes for all His
children (Jeremiah 29:11), but
to experience them, we must
learn to manage stress.
To do that, we must first
identify our triggers—the situations,
people, places, and
things that lead us into a state
of unrest. These are different
for everyone. Haggai 1:5 says,
“This is what the Lord of Heaven’s
Armies says: Look at what’s
happening to you!” (NLT).
We can prepare for and
cope with stressful encounters
only when we know
our triggers. That takes intentional
monitoring of our
thoughts, emotions, and
reactions.
14 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

TRANSFORMED LIVES
Upon examination, we might
identify a particular situation
or person that causes us to
worry or become obsessively
concerned about things outside
our control. Maybe we get
defensive when someone says
something to us, and we immediately
argue or fight instead of
considering their words.
Maybe we run away instead
of facing the thing or person
that’s bothering us. For me, I
know that in uncomfortable
situ ations, I freeze and am unable
to respond appropriately.
Once we identify our stressors,
then we determine the underlying
reasons for them. This
will take some soul searching
with God (Psalm 139:23–24).
There’s always a deep-rooted
reason for a reaction. Sometimes
professional counseling
is needed to work through
this—and that is perfectly okay.
Once we know our triggers,
then we can identify a better
way to react to them that will
promote the peaceful rest,
healing, and wholeness God
desires (Psalm 37:8).
Since we will never eliminate
every stressor, learning
to cope with them is a must.
It’s best to seek a holistic plan
that provides care for the whole
being—body, mind, and spirit.
God created humans as threepart
beings (1 Thessalonians
5:23). If any part of our being
is out of balance, it will impact
the others.
Taking intentional care of
our whole being is God’s will
for our lives; He desires every
part of us to be healthy (3 John
1:2). Our bodies are the temple
of God (1 Corinthians 3:16–17;
6:19–20). Think about that—if
you are a believer, God lives in
you! Knowing this should cause
us to treat ourselves well. Making
self-care a priority is not
selfish but sacred.
We care for our bodies by
eating healthy, getting adequate
sleep each night, avoiding
harmful substances, and
exercising regularly as we are
able. We care for our minds by
monitoring our thoughts and
identifying the negative ones.
I know that my mind is a
scary place when left wild and
untamed. Negative thoughts
create crippling unrest and
impact both my soul and body.
That’s Satan’s plan (John 10:10).
Only by changing the way I think
can my unrest be transformed
into rest (Romans 12:2).
I like to use relaxation techniques
like deep breathing and
taking a time out when I’m
stressed. It’s difficult to make
good decisions when my mind
is running in circles. I must
calm and quiet myself (Psalm
131:2). Learning to avoid those
impulsive reactions isn’t easy,
but it’s worth the effort.
My relationship with God
is a lifestyle, not a diet. It is a
personal and ongoing journey.
It involves intentional choices
and a commitment to nurturing
spiritual well-being amid life’s
challenges and joys. My relationship
with God is, in fact, my
personal life support system.
Meditating on God’s Word
comforts me and helps me find
a fresh perspective. God and
His Word are my source of life
(John 14:6) and hope (Romans
15:13). He is my ever-present
help in times of trouble (Psalm
46:1).
The chart in the next column
contains 12 biblical truths I
lean on when I’m stressed.
1. God is with me and will not abandon me
in my stress. Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 28:20;
Hebrews 13:5
2. God sees and understands my stress.
Genesis 16:13; Psalm 10:14; Psalm 33:18
3. God wants to give me peace when my
heart is troubled. Isaiah 26:3; John 14:27
4. God wants to carry my burden and give
me rest. Psalm 4:8; Hebrews 4:9–11
5. God wants to guide me when I am too
stressed to make decisions. Psalm 32:8
6. God wants to strengthen me when I am
weak and weary. Isaiah 40:29; Matthew 11:28
7. God wants to deliver me from my stress.
Psalm 24:4–5; 107:6; Isaiah 41:10
8. God wants to comfort me in times of
stress. Isaiah 51:12; 1 Peter 5:6–7
9. God wants to use my stress to increase my
dependence on Him. 2 Corinthians 1:8–9
10. God wants me to talk to Him about my
stress. Psalm 118:5; Philippians 4:6–7
11. God wants me to trust Him to be my
refuge in times of stress. Psalm 32:7; 62:8
12. God wants me to worship Him and
acknowledge His constant presence even
in times of stress. Genesis 35:3; Acts 16:25–26
Stress does not have to have
the final word in our lives.
Jesus has promised we can
have His peace and presence
(John 16:33). We can come to
Him and find rest for our weary
souls (Matthew 11:29).
Surrender your stress to
God and invite Him to help and
give you the hope you need. He
will provide you with courage,
endurance, and perseverance
for this journey to experience
the Prince of Peace, His rest,
resilience, and well-being.
SHERIDAN CORREA is a biblical
counselor who is trained in trauma-
informed care. She’s a wife, mother
of two teenage boys, singer, and
avid runner who has been radically
changed by Jesus. She is VL’s director
of content development.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
15

A
L IF E R
SE T
FREE
THE STORY OF
MARIANNE VAN DONGEN
PHOTO BY DEANNA SMITH PHOTOGRAPHY
Idid not believe that God was real.
From the time I was a kid, I had
been dealt one painful blow after
another, and if He was real, He
sure wasn’t showing up in my life.
Alcohol abuse was rampant in
my childhood home. My parents
eventually divorced because of
it, and when my alcoholic father married
another alcoholic, I became vulnerable to
a family member who molested me until
I left home at 18.
Carrying around this family secret was
hard. I was angry yet deeply ashamed of
what had happened to me. Over time, those
emotions became bitterness, and the poison
of unforgiveness seeped into my heart
and mind.
When I was 10, my stepmother swore off
alcohol and started taking me to church. At
first, I found comfort there and protection
from my problems at home. I threw myself
into all the activities the church offered, in-
cluding going through the motions of being
baptized. As I got older, I even helped in
Vacation Bible School and worked with the
youth. But I had no relationship with God.
While church felt like a safe place, it was
only a temporary haven—I always had to
return home to the abuse and chaos. I
needed more than a place to hide.
Life grew harder as my eccentric stepmother
became increasingly religious and
controlling. She threw away all my cute
clothes and forced me to wear only pants or
dresses that covered my knees. I couldn’t
even wear a bathing suit to the pool.
I couldn’t wait to escape. Upon high
school graduation, I left home and ran
straight into the arms of a man I thought
would love and protect me. We were married
two months before my 19th birthday
without the support of my family.
Three months in, I knew I had made a
horrible mistake. My husband grew increasingly
abusive and controlling, and
I had nowhere to turn for help. Still, I was
determined to make our marriage work.
Looking for more ways to control me, my
husband next targeted my involvement
with the church and refused to let me have
a Bible.
I quit going to church and praying. It
wasn’t doing any good anyway. Things
got worse, and my heart grew hard. Blaming
God for everything that was wrong, I
washed my hands of Him and walked away.
I embraced and nurtured my victim
mentality until the day I decided to eliminate
the source of my current pain—my
husband. He had controlled and abused
me for seven long years, but we’d just had
a baby. He wasn’t going to hurt her.
I bought a gun and waited for my chance.
It came when he was released from jail on
probation for aggravated assault with a
deadly weapon on another woman. I seized
the opportunity. I shot and killed him.
But the pain didn’t stop; it intensified.
16 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

Especially when, at 26, I was arrested for murder
and sentenced to life in prison.
That was the darkest day of my life. My
daughter—my only child—was nine months
old. She had not even taken her first steps.
That was the first of a multitude of milestones
I wouldn’t see.
Knowing I had lost my daughter forever, I
descended into depression. I was a lifer; what
hope did I have?
I thought about turning to God, but my angry
and bitter heart refused. “God hasn’t done
anything for you,” I told myself. “He doesn’t
want to have anything to do with you either.
He’s mad at you. That’s why He’s allowed all
these terrible things to happen in your life.”
I believed those lies and continued to run
from God, the only One who could light up
my darkness (Psalm 18:28), heal my broken
heart, and set me free (Isaiah 61:1).
In prison, many people went to chapel, but I
refused to go. I wasn’t about to sing praises to a
God who was the reason I was locked up. Well,
maybe He wasn’t the reason, but He certainly
hadn’t stopped it from happening.
Funny though—even while I was running
from God, He was still chasing after me.
Something, some little voice in my head, kept
challenging me to do more than merely exist
in prison. I needed to prepare for the future.
(What future?)
God was guiding me, but I didn’t know it yet.
I noticed how girls all around me in prison
were getting hooked, overdosing, and dying. I
didn’t want that to be my story, and my spirit
rose up to fight.
That’s not common for a lifer. A life sentence
in prison feels as much like a death sentence
as the real thing. It’s hard for someone with
that sentence to find purpose in continuing
to live, and it’s easy for them to fall prey to
Satan’s lies. Convinced that they have nothing
to live for and nothing to lose, they give up
and act out.
I started in that direction, but God kept
whispering to my soul. I didn’t want to admit
it, but I found myself hoping against all hope
that my life had purpose. I even believed I
might be released one day, and I began preparing
myself for that possibility.
I got an education. Attending classes was
exciting, and it wasn’t long before learning
became my drug of choice. I devoured everything
I could. As soon as I finished one
program, I started a new one.
Many lifers thought I was crazy. They
didn’t understand the hope in me. Even my
friends told me I was stupid and to give up.
I told them, “God’s going to open the doors
for me one day and let me go. He won’t be
mad at me forever.”
These are interesting words from someone
who’s running from God, I know. But
something in me knew He was real. I just
wasn’t ready to acknowledge it all the way.
Staying busy helped the years go by more
quickly. Finally, in 2017, I was allowed
A LIFE SENTENCE
IN PRISON FEELS AS
MUCH LIKE A DEATH
SENTENCE AS THE
REAL THING.
to go before the parole board. I was elated
when they told me I’d be released in six
months. All my hard work had paid off; I
was going home!
But six weeks before my release date,
the board decided that I would have to
complete a two-year faith-and-character
program first. I was livid. “They can’t make
me do this faith-and-character crap,” I
shouted to anyone who’d listen. “Where’s
my freedom of religion?”
But the program was required, and if
I wanted to go home, I’d have to do it. So,
reluctantly, I signed up.
The intense training plus the job I was
working wore me down. There were 479
women on the compound, and I oversaw all
their laundry. It was exhausting, and one
day, feeling like I didn’t have the strength
to take another step, I nearly collapsed.
Feeling drawn to the vacant chapel, I
went inside. Before I knew it, I was facedown
on the floor, my arms outstretched.
Years of remorse poured out of me as I
cried out to God.
I began apologizing for my anger, for
blaming Him for every bad thing in my life,
for refusing to go to chapel, for not praying,
and for everything else I could think of. I
admitted I had purposely been running
from God my whole life.
“Oh, Lord, forgive me,” I begged. “Help
me, please. Take control—I can’t do this
anymore. I need You. Take my life; it’s
Yours. Whatever You ask, I’ll do it.”
An inexplicable peace (Philippians 4:7)
and an unfamiliar rest (Psalm 73:26) settled
over me. Somehow, the song “My Life
Is in Your Hands” by Kirk Franklin filled
the empty chapel, and I looked around in
awe. God’s strength filled my soul (Isaiah
40:29; 2 Corinthians 12:8–10), and I knew
that God would lead me home.
In June 2019, the State of Florida granted
me parole. At 53, I was finally a free woman.
Being home after decades of living behind
bars was challenging. So much had
changed in 27 years. I had to learn about
email and cell phones and computers.
Surprisingly, I had to learn how to make
decisions again too. Even ordering a fastfood
meal was overwhelming—there was so
much to choose from. Deciding what to eat
after being fed routine meals for decades
practically gave me a nervous breakdown.
Only through the grace of God did I overcome
my anxieties.
When you leave prison, you have to start
from the bottom and work your way up.
A life sentence felt like a death sentence when
Marianne first entered prison. But behind those
bars, she met Christ, and He set this lifer free.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
17

That’s a challenging task if you don’t have
money, support, or transportation. But
God provided.
My first job was at a grocery store. I
walked five miles to and from work every
day. God impressed on my heart to stay
faithful and do whatever was in front of
me for Him, not for other people (Colossians
3:23). As Paul says in 2 Timothy 4:7,
I kept fighting the good fight of faith and
trusting the Lord.
Trusting Him, though, required obedience
too. Through studying the Bible
and praying, I realized that I needed to
forgive those who had hurt me. Hebrews
12:15 taught me that a bitter root allowed
to grow would “cause trouble and defile
Forgiveness paved the way for restoration
for Marianne and her daughter.
A PRISON NUMBER OR THE LENGTH OF ONE’S
SENTENCE DOESN’T DEFINE A PERSON’S WORTH.
GOD DOES.
many” (NIV). Matthew 6:15 taught me that here,” I told her. “But I don’t know if I can
I couldn’t receive God’s gift of forgiveness do this. I’m scared to death.”
if I harbored hate.
She came outside, wrapped her arms
It took time and commitment, but God around me, and prayed. Peace and courage
helped me let go of my bitterness toward filled me, and we went inside. I was given
visitor’s badge number 53. I cracked a
my childhood abuser and completely
forgive him—even though he has yet to smile. I was 53 when I walked out of those
apologize. God also helped me forgive my prison walls. It was a God-wink, for sure.
husband who had abused me so badly. Only It’s been almost five years since I was
the Lord could infuse me with this spirit of released, but the truth is, God’s redeeming
love, grace, and forgiveness had set
forgiveness and love.
Family members witnessed my life me free long before I exited those prison
transformation and began their own journeys
with God. He challenged them with ings. Every day, I wake up with a grateful
gates. I can’t begin to count all God’s bless-
the same command to forgive. It took some heart—even through the struggles. I’ll forever
praise God for lifting me from that
time, but my daughter extended the gift of
forgiveness to me. We now have a flourishing
relationship.
unforgiveness that almost consumed me.
bottomless, despairing pit of hate and
Watching my daughter’s faith unfold has Please don’t let bitterness or hatred consume
you. Satan wants you to be a lifer in a
been a beautiful gift. She was 27 when I
was released and understandably angry. prison of despair—regardless of which side
Forgiveness restored our relationship; it of a physical prison wall you live on. Don’t
set us both free from the poison of hate do it! Instead, let go of those consuming
and bitterness.
emotions. Forgive those who have hurt you,
I don’t know of any other person on life even if they never ask for your forgiveness.
parole with a volunteer identification number,
but now I return to prison to share the free. When Jesus, the Son of God, comes
This isn’t about them. It’s about you being
transforming power of God’s love and forgiveness
with those who are still there. With where you are (John 8:36).
into your life, He sets you free no matter
God, anything is possible (Matthew 19:26). It’s time to choose freedom. “The Lord is
If you had told me I’d (willingly!) return a God of justice,” Isaiah 30:18 says. “Blessed
are all who wait for him” (NIV). Put those
to prison after living behind bars for 27
years and 30 days, I would have said you who hurt you in God’s hands and let them
were crazy. But I go every opportunity I go. Then you can embrace His abundant
have. I want everyone there to know they life (John 10:10).
can be free—even if they never set foot in
a free society again. A prison number or
MARIANNE VAN DONGEN frequently returns
the length of one’s sentence doesn’t define to the same prison where she was incarcerated for
a person’s worth. God does.
27 years, ministering to women through the Jesus
I was so scared the first time I went back Infusion (thejesusinfusion.org). She also volunteers
with parole and probation programs and at various
into prison to speak. I pulled into the parking
lot and sat in my car, crying. The war-
reentering society to successfully complete the
correctional institutions, helping persons who are
den called, wondering where I was. “I’m parole and probation process.
PHOTOS COURTESY OF MARIANNE VAN DONGEN
18 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

TRANSFORMED LIVES
The
Relentless
Love of God
BY KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON
MY FRIEND LINDA AND I MET YEARS
Ryan down using two ladies in rocking
his head and prayed to the One he had
ago at a Cracker Barrel for fellowship and
chairs (Romans 2:4).
been running from his whole life. When
to discuss the correspondence outreach
Over the next few minutes, Ryan shared
he said amen, he was beaming, as were we.
which she led at the time. After enjoying
intimate life details, and then he said
After he left, Linda and I marveled at
our meal, we went outside to pray for Victo-
something I’ve heard many times from
the relentless love of God. It will chase you
rious Living’s incarcerated family members.
many people. “I’ve never felt like I be-
down anywhere! The question is, when we
We sat there in the rocking chairs and
longed anywhere.”
find ourselves face-to-face with God’s love,
prayed with our eyes open so we wouldn’t
He went on to tell us how he had come
will we surrender to it?
attract attention. As we prayed, I noticed
to Cracker Barrel to meet up with his fam-
Maybe, like Ryan, you don’t feel like you
a man going in and out of the restaurant.
ily, hoping that being in their presence
belong anywhere. Maybe you’ve been chas-
He kept walking past us. I realized I’d seen
would make him feel better and more com-
ing after worldly offerings, hoping they will
him twice in the restaurant too.
plete. He’d been estranged from them for a
fill that void. The problem is, the things
Since God often uses repetitive scenes
while. Yet, even after a great meal and de-
of this world never satisfy. Only God can
and phrases to catch my attention, I in-
cent conversation, he still felt empty. And
bring contentment.
wardly asked Him if there was something
that emptiness had him pacing around the
Right now, God is inviting you to stop
He wanted me to do. I felt God leading me
restaurant property.
running and surrender your life to His
to speak with the man. The next time he
For years, Ryan had been tormented
goodness. He is what you’re missing. He
passed by, I introduced myself and en-
by a sense of emptiness. He admitted to
is where you belong! And He alone can
gaged him in conversation. I was relieved
having tried to fill that void with many
transform your life from one of emptiness
when he responded in a welcoming man-
things, including women and weed. But
to one of fulfillment.
ARTWORK BY VL INCARCERATED FAMILY MEMBER
ner. His name was Ryan.
I told him that I’d felt God wanting me
to remind him that He loved him. I knew
it was a God-ordained meeting when Ryan
shook his head and said with a bit of laughter
in his voice, “I don’t know why, but God
just won’t leave me alone.”
I knew why—because God so loves Ryan
(John 3:16). God’s extravagant love will go
to any length to bring a lost son or daughter
home. This time, God’s love had chased
everything and everyone had failed him.
His love for weed had even cost him his
job, as he had recently failed a drug test.
“I’ve been searching and wandering all
through life. I’m so tired of being let down,”
Ryan confessed. Then he added, “And I’m
tired of running from God.”
I told him he didn’t have to run anymore,
that he could take off those running shoes
and rest in the arms of his heavenly Father.
Ryan looked relieved. And then he bowed
Pray with me. God, I’m tired of running.
I surrender to Your love. Let it overtake me. I
choose You over my fear, questions, unbelief,
guilt, and shame; over relationships and sex,
drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, and . Take
my life, Lord. Bring me home to You.
KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON encourages and
equips people for victory through her writings,
speaking engagements, and prison ministry. To
learn more, go to kojministries.org.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
19

E X P E R I E N C E
Y O U R
THE STORY OF JASON SOBEL
U L T I M A T E
P U R P O S E
was raised in the
“holy land” of New
Jersey, where there are more Jews than
in Jerusalem. My grandmother escaped
to America during the Holocaust with only
my father. She’d had to choose one family
member to bring with her; the rest of our
family perished in Europe. I can’t imagine
all my young grandmother had to overcome
as she settled into a new and different
country with other Jewish immigrants.
My father grew up and, in 1966, married
a nice Jewish girl. I came along in 1974.
Being Jewish was important to my family
and me, as it was for others in our community.
Growing up, I celebrated all the
traditions and holidays of our people. I also
attended synagogue and Hebrew school.
At 13, I had my bar mitzvah and became
a “son of the commandments.”
But my eyes weren’t set on following
God and His ways; they were focused on
the fame and fortune this world offers. In
my teens, I took to the streets and, in the
infinite wisdom of my youth, began to hang
out with the high school DJ and the class
drug dealer. Eventually, I dropped out of
high school and became a hip-hop DJ.
By my early 20s, I was working at a large
recording studio in New York City with famous
hip-hop and rap artists. Surrounded
by all those celebrities, though, I saw the
futility of life and the truth that no amount
of success or money can make a person feel
good about themselves, loved, or secure in
their worth and purpose.
These people had everything the world
said would satisfy—money, power, and
fame. They partied day and night, constantly
surrounded by other people. Yet
they were the loneliest, emptiest, and
most dissatisfied people I’d ever met. I
PHOTO BY DREW NICOLELLO/FUSION GLOBAL
20 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

PHOTOS COURTESY OF FUSION GLOBAL
was young and impressionable but could
see that the world’s offerings weren’t the
answer to life.
Fulfillment, I realized, had to come from
within. It was a matter of the soul. So I set
out on a spiritual journey. I attended the
local synagogue to study with my rabbi. I
also studied martial arts, Eastern philosophy,
and religion. I became what some
call a Jew-Bu, a Jewish Buddhist. I spent
hours every day, meditating and practicing
yoga, until one day, something lifechanging
happened.
I was deep in meditation when my soul
began to vibrate within me. Every cell of
my body shook violently, and then, I lifted
out of my body. I saw myself sitting meditatively,
lifting through the roof and clouds,
and ultimately rising into heaven. There
I stood before a king, raised high. I knew
instantly who He was and trembled in His
presence and under His power.
“Jason,” Jesus said. “You are called to
serve Me.”
The next thing I knew, I was back in my
body, running around my house exclaiming,
“I’m called to serve Him! I’m called to
serve Him!”
“Serve who?” My mother looked at me
like I’d lost my mind.
point, I hadn’t wanted anything to do with
his newfound faith. But now I couldn’t wait
to get to the service.
My heart leaped as the rabbi taught from
the Word of God—both the Old and the New
Testaments. His words came to life within
me, and at the end of the service, I prayed
to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
My heart leaped as the rabbi taught
from the Word of God—both the Old
and the New Testaments.
But I didn’t dare tell her; the name of
Jesus was taboo in our home.
I had a Jewish friend who had recently
come to faith in Jesus. He’d been telling
me how he’d discovered the truth and, annoyingly,
had been asking me to go with
him to his messianic synagogue. Until this
Above: Jason, age 8, celebrating
Hanukkah with his family.
Below: Jason, standing in front of
the Torah scrolls at his Bar Mitzvah, a
coming-of-age celebration traditionally
held at age 13.
Opposite: Jason walking alongside the
Sea of Galilee where Jesus performed
the majority of His miracles.
My friend was overjoyed. He told me he’d
been praying to lead one Jewish person to
the Lord but never dreamed it would be
me. I didn’t know if I should be offended
because he’d been praying behind my back
or because he never thought I’d be the one
to come to faith.
The rabbi gave me my first copy of the
New Testament. I took it home and hid it
under my bed. (It would have been better
to bring pornographic material into our
home than a New Testament.)
Eventually, curiosity got the best of me,
and I pulled it out from under the mattress
and started to read. I was blown away by
how Jewish the New Testament was. It
spoke to my heart and confirmed that
Jesus really was the One Moses and the
prophets had spoken of.
My mother was sure I’d joined a cult.
She told me repeatedly that I’d broken her
heart by becoming a follower of Jesus. She
made me meet with the Jewish rabbi at her
synagogue. He and I had some interesting
conversations.
Also devastated by my decision to follow
Christ was my dear grandmother. She cut
me, her only grandchild, out of her life;
she even publicly denounced me as her
grandson during a recorded testimony for
the Shoah Foundation, founded by Steven
Spielberg. She didn’t speak to me for years
after that, not until dementia set in and
she’d forgotten what I’d done.
As you can see, becoming a follower of
Jesus came with a heavy price tag. Still,
knowing from my vision that I was called
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
21

GET REVENGE!
BY JASON SOBEL
I recently shared with some young people from a local
high school how God can take the pain of our lives
and use it for good. I used the example of Joseph from
the Bible, found in Genesis chapters 37 through 50.
I also shared how God often takes us through a process
of being broken and stripped down so we can find
wholeness and experience our destiny. It’s a process
I’ve had to endure myself.
Afterward, I went to lunch and sat beside a kid who
told me he liked Joseph’s story.
“It’s interesting to think that God can take the horrible
things of the past and use them for good,” he said.
“But really, it’s hard to believe. I’ve lost everything. My
mom is gone, my aunt just died, and I recently quit
my gang. And then, I was walking home with a friend
when a rival gang member who didn’t know I’d quit
took a shot at me. My friend jumped in front of me
and took the bullet, and now he’s dead. How’s God
going to bring something good out of that?”
This young man also wrestled with the notion that
God had brought all this tragedy into his life. I explained
that God hadn’t taken his mom, aunt, or friend—Satan
had. I told him about Satan, the real enemy, the one
who wanted to rob and steal and destroy his life. That’s
who’d caused those things to happen, I told him.
Then I said something that shocked him. “You know
what? God wants you to get revenge for what happened.”
He thought I was talking about getting a gun
and going after the one who had caused him harm. Of
course, I wasn’t. I was talking about getting revenge
on Satan.
Ephesians 6:12 (NLT) tells us, “We are not fighting
against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil
rulers and the authorities of the unseen world, against
mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil
spirits in the heavenly realms.”
God wants to give your
pain purpose. And that is
the best revenge ever.
“It’s time to make Satan pay for what he’s done,” I said.
The young man was confused, so I continued to
explain. “Your willingness to release your pain to God
gets revenge against Satan. Forgiving your assailant
gets revenge, too. So does using your pain to help others.
Every life you touch for God, every person you help,
hurts Satan because it’s one less person he can touch!”
Have you ever considered getting revenge on Satan
for the pain you’ve experienced? It’s true—you can make
Satan pay for the things he brings into your life when
you accomplish God’s will by bringing others to Him.
Listen to what Joseph told his brothers: “You intended
to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He
brought me to this position so I could save the lives of
many people” (Genesis 50:20 NLT).
Joseph gave Satan a significant blow by refusing to
play the blame game or take on a victim mentality.
He also hurt Satan by refusing to get even with his
brothers—which, as the second in command in Egypt,
he had the power to do.
I know it’s hard not to want to get revenge on a
person in natural ways. But taking matters into your
hands leads only to more pain for you and your loved
ones, and it delays God being able to work all those
painful things together for your good (Romans 8:28).
God wants to give your pain purpose. And that is the
best revenge ever.
22 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

PHOTOS BY DREW NICOLELLO/FUSION GLOBAL
to serve Jesus, I began studying to be a
messianic rabbi.
Jesus had radically transformed my life
by opening my eyes to Him (John 14:6).
He’d shown me the way to true contentment
and revealed my purpose and identity.
An unquenchable desire to share Him
with others burned deep within.
People in my community labeled me
a traitor, ostracized me, and physically
attacked me because of my faith. Despite
the rejection, the threats, and even the
beatings, I couldn’t keep the Good News
of Jesus to myself.
Being treated that way by my family,
friends, and community hurt. It did then,
and it still does. But through it, I’ve experienced
the presence and love of God
in profound ways, and I’ve found my ultimate
purpose.
Growing up, I was that awkward and uncoordinated
kid. You know, the one always
picked last for sports teams. Being rejected
so many times as a kid had formed a belief
in me that I was unworthy of being chosen
or wanted.
Learning that God wanted me and saw
me as worthy changed everything. He
revealed this truth through the book of
Numbers, where there’s an accounting (a
census) of the Hebrew people. Through
that accounting, I saw that every person
has value to the Lord.
Interestingly, the Hebrew word for
“count” means “to lift the heads of the
people.” The children of Israel had been
enslaved in Egypt, and as such, they were
prohibited from looking into the eyes of
their master. They had lost their identity
and voice. God sent Moses to bring them
out of Egypt and reestablish them for who
they were.
Leviticus 26:13 (NLT) says, “I am the
Lord your God, who brought you out of
the land of Egypt so you would no longer
be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery
from your neck so you can walk with your
heads held high.”
God wanted His people to remember
that He was their Savior and Deliverer and
that they were freed children of the King.
He wanted them to lift their heads so they
Above: Through his nonprofit,
Fusion Global, Jason leads tours
to the Holy Land, one of which
our publisher was privileged to
experience last year.
Right: Here, Jason is pictured
with his lovely wife, Miriam, and
his parents, Robert and Jean.
could see and know their identity because
identity is destiny.
I had struggled my whole life, wondering
who I was, what value I had, what my
purpose was. Why was I even here? One
day, I was talking to the Lord about this
when I heard Him say, “Jason, you’re My
favorite son.”
I thanked Him; it sounded awesome.
But…how could that even be possible?
Then the Lord showed me that His love
for me, as it is for all His children, is beyond
comprehension. Unlike my love, which is
finite, God’s love is infinite—He can have
an endless number of favorite children.
It was an exciting revelation. But then
the conversation got uncomfortable when
God told me to go out and tell other people
that I was His favorite. “No way could I do
that,” I argued. “People would think I was
crazy or prideful.” But God knew better.
“Jason,” He said. “The real reason you
don’t want to tell people you are My favorite
isn’t because you’re afraid of what they’d
think or say. It’s because you don’t think you
could be My number one son. Truth is, you
don’t believe I could love you that much.”
He was right. I struggled to see myself as
God sees me. Looking in the mirror, I still
saw an awkward, always last-to-be-chosen
dropout. And when I thought of my worth,
all I could hear was my high school principal
telling my folks that I was destined
for trouble.
I couldn’t imagine that God saw anything
different. Nor could I understand why He
would choose me to serve Him. I had too
many issues for that, I was sure.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
23

ing used by Him. But God says
differently. He chooses people
this world says have no value
or power (1 Corinthians 1:27)
and partners with them to do
incredible things.
pose in life is to be a son or daughter who
accepts the love of your heavenly Father
and walks obediently in relationship with
Him. When you step into that God-given
identity, you will discover your God-given
destiny.
God has always used imperfect,
unqualified people to serve Him.
In his books, Rabbi Jason dives into scripture,
biblical culture, and ancient texts to help people
understand the truths of God’s miracles and
increase their faith that Jesus still performs
miracles today.
Moses felt this way, too. Exodus chapters
3 and 4 tells us that he argued with God
about his qualifications. But God wouldn’t
be swayed. He wanted Moses, imperfections
and all. Moses was God’s choice. God
has always used imperfect, unqualified
people to serve Him.
Interestingly, when God called Moses,
the Lord told him to take off his shoes
because he was standing on holy ground
(Exodus 3:5 KJV). Did you know that the
Hebrew word for shoe here is the same
word for a lock?
God, in essence, was telling Moses to
remove the things locking him out of
his destiny. He was to stop looking at his
faults and failures. He was to take off those
things like he would take off a pair of shoes.
We all need to remove the locks from
our feet so we can move forward with God
into our destiny. Hebrews 12:1 (NLT) says,
“Let us strip off every weight that slows us
down, especially the sin that so easily trips
us up. And let us run with endurance the
race God has set before us.”
Those locks and weights can be many
things, but often, they include our limited
view of ourselves. Like Moses, we focus
on our imperfections. We agree with
what the world has said about us. We don’t
think we’re worthy of God’s love or be-
I couldn’t believe it when the Lord revealed
His plans for me. I was a high school
dropout with only a GED. But God didn’t see
that as a limitation. He never sees limitations;
He only sees potential.
God wants you to lift your head so you
can see and know your identity as a child
of the King. We’re the ones who limit our
destiny. When we look at ourselves through
the world’s eyes, we see only fault. With
that perspective, we will never be anything
more than what we see. We must look at
ourselves through God’s eyes.
With God’s help, I’ve written several
books, two of which ended up as New York
Times bestsellers. I also travel the world,
appear on national television, and teach
people worldwide through my ministry,
Fusion Global. And this high school dropout
has a master’s degree. Who could have
imagined? Certainly not my parents, principal,
community, rabbi…or me!
But God imagined it, and He imagines
marvelous things for you, too. God sees
incredible greatness in you, but first, you
must realize that your identity and value
don’t come from your community, affiliation,
possessions, or accolades. Your identity,
value, and purpose come from how
God sees you. And how does He see you?
You are His number one son or daughter.
Believe it!
To become His number one, you must
first embrace His one and only begotten
Son, Jesus (John 3:16). Only then can you
begin to unlock all that being a son or
daughter of God means.
So many people wrestle with their purpose
and identity, but it’s simple. Your pur-
I know stepping into your identity as
a child of God and following Him can be
frightening. And yes, it will be costly. But
being in relationship with God is worth
anything that comes your way. Nothing the
world offers can compare to what God has
for you, His child. It’s all worthless when
compared to knowing Christ (Philippians
3:8–10). Nothing you sacrifice can compare
to what God has sacrificed for you (Isaiah
53). You can take comfort in knowing that
God will never ask you to do anything He
Himself is not willing to do.
Our Lord promises in Matthew 19:29 that
anything you give up for Him in life will be
returned to you 100 times over, and you’ll
have eternal life. He also says in Matthew
5:10–12 that He will bless you when people
mock you or lie about you or speak evil
against you because of your faith, and that
a great reward awaits you in heaven.
This life you are experiencing is not all
there is. There’s so much more, and God
wants to give it to you. The Bible is clear:
God loves you and chooses you. The question
is, will you love and choose Him in return?
Only then will you find your identity
and experience your ultimate purpose.
JASON SOBEL’s personal revival led him to pursue
revival on a global level through his nonprofit, Fusion
Global. His outreach reconnects Jewish and Christian
followers of Jesus through relevant and inspired
teaching. Jason works with influential creatives and
collaborates with many spiritual, entertainment, and
marketplace leaders. His unique message empowers
audiences worldwide to discover their potential and
understand their full inheritance in Christ. To learn
more about his outreach or his NYT bestselling books,
visit fusionglobal.org.
24 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

STEPPING FORWARD
Hope That Never
Disappoints
BY LISA APPELO
HOW LONG, O LORD, HOW LONG?
I sighed and curled into my pillow, pulling
the comforter tight around me. It had been
a full day, but now in the quiet darkness
with the kids asleep in their beds, a familiar
prayer bubbled up to the top.
I closed my eyes to sleep, but my thoughts
stayed in overdrive. I’d prayed so hard for
so long for God to bring something specific
about. I’d even given Him a timeline—
ample time to answer my prayer. Yet here
I was, tucking myself into bed years later
with no evidence that I was any closer to
God giving me a yes.
I’d tried not to become obsessed with
this heart’s desire. I’d thrown myself into
ministry and parenting. I’d formed new
plans and dreams. Some days were so full
I didn’t have time to think about my longing.
Other days, I thought about it but felt
content enough to hold it loosely, trusting
God whether He chose to fulfill it or not.
But sometimes, like in the quiet of this
night, the longing returned with a mocking
ache. I had tried my best to surrender it to
God. So many times I’d heard or read that
God’s “hope does not disappoint.” Well, my
hope sure seemed to have dead-ended in
disappointment.
The next morning, I looked that verse
up and read it in my Bible: “This hope will
not lead to disappointment. For we know
how dearly God loves us, because he has
given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts
with his love” (Romans 5:5 NLT).
Okay. Maybe if I read the whole passage,
I could understand why I still felt so
disappointed. So I looked back. Romans
5:3–4 says, “We can rejoice, too, when we
run into problems and trials, for we know
that they help us develop endurance. And
ONLY HOPE
T H AT I S
ANCHORED
I N J E S U S
W I L L N E V E R
DISAPPOINT.
endurance develops strength of character,
and character strengthens our confident
hope of salvation” (NLT).
Oh. So this isn’t a birthday-wish kind
of hope that God will give us whatever we
want. This hope is produced by persevering
in suffering. It’s a confident expectation
of all we have in Jesus. It’s hope that
God’s infinite love is enough no matter
what our circumstances are.
I felt this aching disappointment be-
cause I’d misplaced my hope. Any hope
rooted in an outcome, a timeline, or any
other person will ultimately disappoint.
Only hope that is anchored in Jesus will
never disappoint. I needed to realign
where I was placing my hope so that I could
realign my disappointed heart.
So I began praying a new prayer. “Help
me want You, Lord, more than I want anything
else. Even that thing You know I’m
longing so much for.” It’s a prayer God
always answers, and God has steadily replaced
my longing with a calm contentment
for life as it is right now.
Have you misplaced your hope in an
outcome, a timeline, or a person? If so,
start asking God to help you want Him
more than whatever that other thing is.
That’s a prayer God delights in answering
yes.
Dear God, help me surrender this deep longing
and instead be completely satisfied in the
fullness of Your love, no matter my circumstances.
I put my hope in You alone, who will
never disappoint. In Jesus’s name, amen.
LISA APPELO is a speaker, writer, and Bible
teacher who inspires women to deepen their
faith in grief and find hope in the hard. Formerly
a litigating attorney, her days are now filled with
parenting seven children, ministering, writing,
speaking, and running enough to justify lots of dark
chocolate. Find Lisa’s encouragement for faith,
grief, and hope at LisaAppelo.com.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
25

WORTH
LIVING
THE STORY OF MELISSA LOTT
“Get back here, young lady!” Startled, my mother tried not
to make a scene as I pulled away from her and ran as fast
as my little legs would carry me to the front of the church.
The preacher had made the altar call, and I wanted to ask
Jesus into my heart.
I was only five, but I knew something
extraordinary had happened that Sunday
morning. God had picked me up in His
arms and given me a big hug. At that moment,
I was the happiest little girl on earth,
and not even the spanking I’d get for disobeying
Mom in church could change that.
I spent much time hearing about God
in church as a child, but as I grew up, I
often wondered where He was in my life.
Domestic violence and alcoholism were
rampant in my home, and divorce tore our
family apart. In that darkness, I was sure
God had forgotten about me.
I felt like my father forgot me too, as
soon as he left our home. I was Daddy’s
girl; his departure left a huge hole in my
heart. I could only imagine it was my fault
that he had left.
Life with Mom was scary and confusing.
I learned later that she was mentally ill, but
to little me, her actions didn’t make sense,
and life was hard. Right after Dad left, she
remarried a raging alcoholic who didn’t
like kids. I lived in constant fear of him.
Mom’s struggle with mental illness often
left me unsupervised, and I became vulnerable
to predators. Evil intruded on my
innocence through multiple molestations
before third grade. Afraid, I told no one.
Life improved briefly when I moved
to Florida to live with Dad, but his new
girlfriend wasn’t impressed with the broken
child thrust into her life. Her jealousy
over Dad’s attention led to severe beatings
that often left me unable to walk or sit
down. And things only got worse when
they got married.
The beatings didn’t hurt as much as the
verbal abuse, though. My stepmother’s
hate-filled words were like daggers to my
heart, especially when I was diagnosed
with learning disabilities. “You’re going to
be crazy, just like your mom!” Her taunting
words reinforced my suspicions that
maybe I was marked or flawed somehow.
Life at school wasn’t any easier. I struggled
to fit in and make friends and was
often bullied. Back then, there weren’t
many resources to help kids deal with
their emotions, so I was on my own in my
struggles and losing the battle.
By the ninth grade, I was fed up with life
and tried to commit suicide. When I didn’t
die, I felt even more like a loser. You can’t
even do that right, I told myself.
26 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

that one. I also landed myself in a domestic
violence situation much like I’d witnessed
growing up.
Finding out I was pregnant saved my
life. I didn’t want my child to be raised
as I’d been, so I mustered up the courage
to leave that relationship and never look
back. I would take on the challenges of
being a single mom before I allowed my
child to be subjected to violence at home.
Needing financial stability, I joined the
Florida Department of Corrections. I knew
nothing about corrections when I signed
up, but at 23, I felt up for the challenge. I’d
developed some thick skin over the years.
My first assignment was at a men’s facility
with mixed custody levels. I balanced
my street smarts with a solid work ethic
and jumped the hurdles of being a new
I felt like a magnet
that attracted
toxic people, danger,
and injustices.
officer. I advanced through the ranks and,
in 2004, became one of a handful of female
captains in my region.
But the trauma, abuse, and rejection I’d
endured before joining the department
made me a ticking time bomb on the job.
I was hard-hearted and unmoving, and I
PHOTO BY DEANNA SMITH PHOTOGRAPHY
Finally, after years of being pushed
around, I started fighting back. After ending
up on top of a few fights, I realized I had
a hidden superpower. I could fight, and
I was done letting people get the upper
hand. I wouldn’t be the one to start trouble,
but I was prepared to finish it. From then
on, I never backed down from a fight.
Holding my own felt good, and I liked
making people regret messing with me.
But one day, I encountered a situation
where I couldn’t fight back. A teacher withheld
a passing grade I needed to graduate
until I let him molest me. I was overcome
with the all-too-common feelings of being
used, worthless, and dirty.
I graduated high school and grabbed
a one-way bus ticket back to my mom.
Things’ll be better there, I convinced myself.
Only five days after my arrival, it became
clear that Mom’s mental illness and my
stepdad’s abuse had only gotten worse.
During a psychotic meltdown, Mom kicked
me out of the house with only the clothes
on my back. I had just started a new job,
and thankfully, my new boss came to my
rescue and saved me from becoming
homeless. That was my dysfunctional
entrance into adulthood.
Life was one disaster after another. I felt
like a magnet that attracted toxic people,
danger, and injustices. In the coming
years, I was homeless more than once,
was raped multiple times, and was even
framed for stealing by a person who pretended
to be my friend. I lost my job over
refused to back down from anything or
anyone—staff or prisoner.
“Here comes Lucifer,” was the warning
that echoed through the compound during
my shifts. I was the heavy-handed captain
who ran a tight ship and demanded perfection.
Nothing and no one moved me. I
was completely unfazed and desensitized.
I felt nothing except anger.
For years, I struggled to steady myself
with one foot in the prison world and one
in society as a mother. Seeking safety, I
married a man 20 years older than me.
Instead of security, I acquired the chaos
of his alcohol problem and mental health
issues. I wasn’t equipped to cope, and it
hit hard when I realized I was subjecting
my daughter to the very cycle I’d sworn
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
27

PHOTO BY DEANNA SMITH PHOTOGRAPHY
to protect her from. That marriage didn’t
survive.
God opened my eyes to the real problem—me.
My bitter heart was dark with pride, selfrighteousness,
unforgiveness, and judgment.
I continued to work hard and provide
for my daughter and me, but I was unraveling
daily. By the time I met my second
husband, I was a hot mess.
This man of faith was from a stable family
with deep roots in the community. He
was everything I had once put on my wish
list to God. In fact, at first, he seemed too
good to be true. But he was the real deal,
and I’m so glad he saw something in me
worth fighting for. Our marriage of over 26
years is a testament to God’s grace and my
husband’s patience.
For many years, I’d felt no joy, no pain,
nothing. I was completely disconnected
and severely depressed. I couldn’t engage
in meaningful conversations with anyone
unless it involved work. Every day, I
pushed through the void, putting on what I
thought was a good face in the community.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t as good an actress
as I thought. People thought I was a snob,
but I was just a shell of a person without
any capacity to feel.
The traumas I had endured in my personal
life and the horrors I had witnessed
behind bars, plus the havoc I’d caused in
other people’s lives, were now causing my
body to physically, emotionally, and mentally
break down.
My health declined because of obesity,
anxiety, insomnia, and a heart condition
for which treatments were failing. My doctor
was distressed. “Melissa, if you don’t
make some drastic changes, you’ll be dead
in five years.” I shrugged off his advice as
if I were invincible.
One day, as I walked across the compound
at work, I heard a voice I knew could
only be God. “If you don’t get out now, you’ll
lose everything, including your life.” I knew
that ignoring that voice would be my de-
mise. My 27-year career with the FLDOC
was over—I retired in April 2017.
You’d think that would be good, but I had
no idea how to live apart from the corrections
world. I was not imprisoned, but I
had become institutionalized, unable to
function outside of prison fences.
Then, in the middle of my identity crisis,
God provided a new job for me—selling
insurance. I had to talk to people in a world
I knew nothing about—the outside world.
On the verge of a nervous breakdown, I
sat in my car in a grocery store parking
lot and sobbed. I felt alone, overwhelmed,
and afraid.
“All right, Lord,” I cried. “Here I am. I did
what You said. I quit my job. Now what?”
God responded by opening my eyes to
the real problem—me. My bitter heart was
dark with pride, self-righteousness, unforgiveness,
and judgment against others.
I had spent decades keeping society safe
from those I judged as the worst of humanity.
All the while, I’d been ignorant of the
truth that the sacrifice Jesus made was
for every soul—those behind bars, those
who had hurt me, and yes, His sacrifice
was even for me.
28 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE JESUS INFUSION.
I recalled the many things I’d done in
my youth against God’s will, any of which
could have easily landed me in prison had
I been caught. I was no different than those
I had looked down upon. This revelation
brought me to my knees in sorrowful repentance
(Romans 2:4).
Stirring inside of me was the desire
to be well. Like the disabled man by the
pool of Bethesda, I was ready to roll up my
mat and walk toward a new life with Jesus
(John 5:6–9). To do that, I’d have to rise up
out of the pew. I’d been sitting in church
for a long time, but that hadn’t made me
a Christian.
I knew in my head that Jesus had died
for my sins and I believed it, but I had no
relationship with Him. I’d lived half a century
missing how desperately I needed His
mercy, grace, and forgiveness.
At 52, I surrendered myself to Christ
and began walking with Him. With each
step, I have discovered hope and joy, and
my soul has found wholeness—my mind,
will, and emotions are no longer in chains.
Early in my healing, I ran into a former
colleague who knew the old me. She was
amazed at the change. We cried as I shared
with her my journey with the Lord. She
was excited to hear my desire to serve
Right: God used an invitation from
Nicole Dyson (left) to draw Melissa
back into prisons—this time, as a
minister of God’s grace.
Below: Baptizing women behind bars
is one of Melissa’s highest honors.
and share the gospel. “I’ll go wherever
God leads me,” I told her.
My obedience was tested when my
friend introduced me to a passionate,
on-fire-for-Jesus woman named Nicole
Dyson. (You can read Nicole’s story in Issue
2023-3 of VL.) Nicole invited me to a
Bible study, and there I came face to face
with a woman who had served time during
my years with Florida DOC. She stiffened
when she saw me, expecting me to reject
or belittle her. Resisting the urge to run
away, I embraced her. We hugged and
cried, and I asked for her forgiveness.
God used that pivotal moment to show
me that my brokenness had caused harm
to another one of God’s children.
Nicole invited me to volunteer with
her organization, The Jesus Infusion, a
prison ministry inside the Florida Women’s
Reception Center. I politely smiled at
her invitation and told her I would pray
about it. But my conversation with God was
much more animated. Are you serious, God?!
There’s no way You’re asking me to do this!
Going back behind bars wasn’t on my
agenda, but I soon discovered it was on
God’s. So, in 2021, three years after I’d retired
from corrections, I headed back into
prison as an official volunteer to minister
to the incarcerated. My past and my healing
and transformation journey helped me
relate to those women in so many ways.
Recently, God opened the door for me
to return to a women’s facility where I’d
worked for eight years. The response to
I’d been sitting in
church for a long time,
but that hadn’t made
me a Christian.
my presence has been mixed. Many people
remember “Lucifer,” that cold-hearted,
unyielding person I was, and they aren’t
sure what to make of this new creation in
Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I’ve received bewildered looks and unkind
comments, and there’ve been plenty
of uncomfortable situations. But it’s
okay. Watching God move makes it worth
it. I’ve witnessed the power of Jesus Christ
radically transform lives and have had the
privilege of baptizing hundreds of women.
The joy I experience in sharing the hope
of Jesus is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10).
God has shown me that every season
of my life—good, bad, and ugly—has been
preparation for this moment on this mission
field (Esther 4:14). And every day, I’m
prepared to give an answer to the hope
that lives inside me (1 Peter 3:15) and tell
how God revived me from the dead.
I was once dead in my sin, and that resulted
in me being dead emotionally, spiritually,
and relationally. Then Jesus made
me alive (Ephesians 2:4–10) to Himself,
and He returned to me the life He created
me to have—a life the enemy, others, and
even I had tried to destroy (Genesis 50:20).
It’s a life of purpose and connection. It’s a
life fully worth living.
MELISSA LOTT is a warrior for Christ who combats
the world’s ugliness with the gospel. Jesus has
restored her heart, giving her the ability to feel,
forgive, and see goodness in people. She enjoys
joyful sunshine, being courageous in darkness, and
being a whole bunch of trouble for Satan.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
29

CHANGED
INTO A
NEW MAN
THE STORY OF JERRELL BULLARD
NNever would I have dreamed that I’d end up running from the police,
serving time in jail, or developing drug-induced heart failure. But
things like that happen when you live far from the Lord.
I was 18, entering my first year at AB-Tech Community College in
Asheville, North Carolina, when my life turned toward darkness. Like
many, I dreamed of attending college, getting a degree, and making
something of myself. Doing drugs or becoming the community
drug dealer was never a part of that dream, but that’s where I was
by the end of my first year at AB-Tech. I dropped out of college and
descended into a dark life of crime and selling drugs. I was far from
the Christian values my parents had taught me.
I have no regrets about my childhood or my parents. They were
hard-working people. My mom was a dedicated schoolteacher who
raised me to know better and to live right. My dad worked second
shift and lots of overtime at an industrial manufacturing plant. But
with my parents both working so hard, I had time on my hands to get
into trouble and be influenced by other people, movies, and music.
Paying for college was a big expense, and I didn’t have a lot of extra
to spend. It didn’t take me long to realize that selling drugs could get
me things, including money for college. I started by telling myself I
would only sell marijuana. But that didn’t last long.
So many people “needed” me, and I began to feel important. Satan
used that pride to gain a solid foothold in
my life. I began selling harder drugs like
cocaine and ecstasy and racking up drug
charges and felonies, including the intent
to distribute. Each day, I moved further
from my Christian roots, until at age 19, I
was on the run from South Florida police.
Galatians 6:7–8 says, “Don’t be misled—
you cannot mock the justice of God. You
will always harvest what you plant. Those
who live only to satisfy their own sinful
nature will harvest decay and death from
that sinful nature. But those who live to
please the Spirit will harvest everlasting
life from the Spirit” (NLT).
For years, I mocked the justice of God. I
knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did
it anyway. I was a selfishly deceived man
who was about to experience a decade of
harvesting decay and death. From age 20
to 30, I spent 80 percent of my time either
in prison or on probation.
PHOTO BY VICTOR L. FOSTER
30 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

With my first probation, I had a strict
6:00 p.m. curfew…but I disliked following
rules. That arrangement didn’t work out
well for me. I ended up with more charges
and was locked up. Long jail time did nothing
to change my heart, however, and
when I was released, I went deeper into
the drug life. Of course, that led to even
more charges.
By then, I couldn’t even recognize the
man I’d become.
Though my drug use would cause significant
tension in my parents’ marriage,
they never turned their backs on me. Mom
was a rock, reminding me often that she
was praying for me. She was concerned
for my well-being; she could tell I didn’t
care anymore.
“Jerrell,” she would say. “What’s happened
to you? You used to take care of
yourself and have good hygiene. You’ve
let yourself go!” She was right. Mom would
speak the truth to me. She also stood her
ground against Satan.
I remember once during a dark time
when she came to my door, looked me
straight in the eyes, and said, “Satan, you
cannot have my son, in Jesus’s name!”
Then she turned around and left. No matter
how dark it got, my mother never stopped
fighting for me in the spiritual realm.
Dad, too, continually reminded me to
trust in the Lord and to stop leaning on
my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). He
constantly warned me that drugs and the
life they offered had deceived me. “Jerrell,
seek God’s guidance and His understanding.
He will lead you,” Dad said often.
In 2010, while in jail for the umpteenth
time, I decided to become a better person.
I started reading books, studying, and bettering
myself intellectually. In and of itself,
that was not wrong. But I also should have
been studying God’s Word and allowing
Him to transform me into the man He’d
created me to be.
I, however, wasn’t there yet. I needed
a changed heart, not worldly knowledge.
Released but with the same dark heart, I
returned to my old ways. Two years later, I
was back in jail. This time was more difficult
because I had fathered two daughters
during those years of freedom. I loved my girls and knew I wasn’t
doing them right, but it would take me years to become a father
they could be proud of.
Released again, I went back to selling drugs to make fast money. I
sold cocaine and ecstasy—and then I started using, something I had
said I would never do. Now, with an addiction of my own, I had to
sell drugs to support my
habit. With each passing
deal, I stepped further
into darkness.
I wasn’t all bad—after
all, I didn’t sell drugs
on Sunday. That had to
make me a good drug dealer. Crazy, right? I was sure that it would
be all right with God if I quit selling drugs and only grew mari juana.
Dad was right; I was deceived.
In 2015, my home was broken into, and the police discovered my
stash of growing marijuana. I was charged with manufacturing and
producing 50 pounds of marijuana. Again, I went back on probation.
But this time, two good things happened.
I got a steady job and started reading
the Bible lightly. One day, I read James
1:27. It says, “Pure and genuine religion
in the sight of God the Father means
caring for orphans and widows in their
distress and refusing to let the world
corrupt you” (NLT).
That scripture tugged at my heart as I
realized I had allowed the world to corrupt
me. I finally saw my actions of selling,
using, and growing drugs for what
they were—evil in the sight of God. God
also showed me the humbling truth that
I was corrupting others, and that was
dangerous ground (Matthew 18:7).
With this revelation, I determined to
develop a relationship with Christ. This
desire ignited an intense spiritual battle.
God and the devil were wrestling for
my life, and there were times I felt I was
losing my mind. My thoughts became so
random and intense and dark.
I searched desperately for Christ anywhere
and everywhere. I searched the
Web and watched YouTube videos.
One day, an internal voice told me to
run to St. John’s Church. I ran four miles
Jerrell was blessed to have a godly mother
who taught him the ways of God. Pictured
here, in both photos, as a young child.
I NEEDED A CHANGED HEART,
NOT WORLDLY KNOWLEDGE.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
31

in the rain, obeying the voice I heard. When I arrived at the church,
I started crying out for God. The people there immediately called
for the pastors to come. I was in obvious distress.
Pastors David Suber and David Perry came and prayed for me.
And then, before them and God, I confessed with my mouth that
Jesus was Lord and believed in my heart that God had raised Him
from the dead for me (Romans 10:9–10).
Left: Having once flooded his community with
marijauna, Jerrell now feeds others through
food from his community garden.
Above: Jerrell’s father and mother have loved
him unconditionally, even through Jerrell’s
rebellious years.
GOD AND THE DEVIL WERE WRESTLING
FOR MY LIFE, AND THERE WERE TIMES I
FELT I WAS LOSING MY MIND.
I repented of my sins—the drug dealing, stealing, selling, and
engaging in sex with random women. I repented of the lies I’d told
and admitted I’d been trying to be my own god. I asked Jesus to
come into my life and save me. That day, I became a free man. It
felt like the fire of God burned every residue of sin out of me. God
opened my eyes to Satan’s schemes in my life and my community. I
experienced peace of mind and heart in a fresh way that could only
be explained by the presence of God within me.
In 2018, I became a true believer in and follower of Jesus Christ.
No longer was I a drug dealer, user, and grower, trying to convince
myself I was a Christian. I began attending church faithfully. Hungry
to learn about God, I started reading the Bible daily. I fell in love with
God’s Word and allowed it to change how I think. No longer was I
being conformed to the world’s ways, but I was being transformed
into a new person by God and His Word
(Romans 12:2). And people could see the
transformation in my life.
God sent me back into the community
where I’d sold drugs to help clean it up. I
no longer grow marijuana; instead, I’ve
developed a community food garden that
provides food for the people there.
Today, I spend my days serving in an
outreach program called “Brother’s Keepers”
that helps men find freedom from
addiction and the cycles of prison life. We
then help by praying for and fostering relationships
with people in the community
as we share God’s love and message with
them. Giving back to a place I once corrupted
brings me great joy.
God has been so good to me. He’s healed
my mind and freed me from addiction.
He’s healed me physically too. Drug use
had caused significant damage to my heart
and led to heart failure. At one point, my
heart function was as low as 9 percent. But
since I came to Christ, my heart function
has improved to 45 percent. God has given
me a new heart spiritually, one that loves,
listens, learns, and cares—but on top of
that, He’s renewed my physical heart, too.
And it all started when I humbled myself
before the Lord.
I encourage you to do the same. Second
Chronicles 7:14, one of my favorite verses,
says, “Then if my people who are called
by my name will humble themselves and
pray and seek my face and turn from their
wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and
will forgive their sins and restore their
land” (NLT).
When I humbled myself, began to pray,
sought God’s face, and turned from my
wicked ways, God forgave me and restored
my mind and life. His love changed me
into a new man.
And His love can change you too.
JERRELL BULLARD lives out his calling for Christ
by being a part of a community outreach program
called Brother’s Keepers, an organization that
fosters relationships with those who were formerly
incarcerated, drug addicted, and more. Jerrell is a
huge influence in the rebuilding of his community
for Christ and witnessing to the lost.
PHOTOS BY VICTOR L. FOSTER
32 Issue 02 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

WANT TO KNOW JESUS?
“Come to me, all you who are
weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest.” —Matthew 11:28 NIV
ARTWORKS BY VL INCARCERATED FAMILY MEMBER
Do you need rest? Peace? Freedom? Forgiveness? Restoration?
Call out to Jesus, accept Him as your Savior, and be made whole.
Pray: “Jesus, I invite You into my life. I confess that I am a sinner in
need of a Savior. Thank You for saving me from my sins and making
me whole. Thank You for laying down Your life for me so that I can
have a new life in You. I receive, by faith, this forgiveness of sin. Take
my life—my past and my future. Guide my steps and speak to my
heart, Lord. Use me, God. Amen.”
Let us know of your decision so we can help you grow in your faith.
Write to: VL Correspondence, PO Box 2751, Greenville, NC 27836.
PERHAPS AFTER READING the stories in this magazine, you’ve surrendered your life to
Jesus. Congratulations—it’s the most important decision you will ever make! But you might
be wondering, now what? Here are five ways to ensure spiritual growth. Remember, the
Christian life is a journey that brings lifelong transformation.
1. PRAY. Talk to God about everything and listen for His response. You don’t need
fancy words, just a sincere heart.
2. STUDY THE BIBLE. God’s Word contains all the instructions we need for life. Get
into a Bible study and discover new revelations daily. Free resources are on page 34.
3. GET BAPTIZED. Although baptism is not a requirement of salvation, the Bible
clearly tells us that we are to be water baptized after salvation. Baptism symbolizes
our dying to sin and being raised to new life in Christ Jesus (Romans 6:4). Prison
restrictions may make immersion by water difficult, so get creative and let the Holy
Spirit reveal how you can take this step of obedience until immersion is possible.
4. FIND CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY. Join a local congregation of Christ-followers. If
incarceration makes attending church difficult, fellowship with other believers the
best you can. They will help you stand strong and keep you accountable.
5. TELL SOMEONE. Share your decision to follow Christ and tell them what He has
done for you. And then, tell us! We’d love to hear from you.
WHAT NOW?
I’ve Accepted God’s Salvation.
Now What?
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2024
33

MINISTRY INFO/RESOURCES
Victorious Living Prison
Outreach Information
• High transitional rates and DOC restrictions prevent us from
mailing individual subscriptions of VLMag to incarcerated
persons. However, bulk copies are provided free to prisons, jails,
recovery, and reentry programs, with or without staples, at
the request of chaplains and program directors. They may also
inquire about our national VL Prison Tour.
• We offer discipleship materials on various prison tablet systems.
Search “Victorious Living” on the prison tablet to discover MORE
Victorious Living and STEPPING FORWARD with Victorious
Living broadcasts and VL podcasts. If we are not on your tablet
system, please write to us and let us know the name of your
tablet system.
• Family members of our incarcerated family and our ministry
partners can enjoy our free resources through pandoapp.tv
and VL’s online platforms like vlmag.org, Facebook, Instagram,
and YouTube. Our care team is available to pray with family
members of our incarcerated family by phone.
• We offer fellowship through correspondence to those who are
incarcerated. Write to us at PO Box 2751, Greenville, NC 27836, or
email us through their tablet at hope@vlmag.org.
• We cannot receive COD emails or phone calls, nor do we accept
unsolicited stories for publication or legal documents.
• We encourage believers everywhere to use our materials in their
ministry. VLMag makes an incredible witnessing tool and copies
can be ordered in bulk for use in free society.
• Did you know that VLMag is available on both sides of prison
walls? It is a gift to our ministry partners and can be delivered to
anyone in free society. Call 352-478-2098 or visit vlmag.org and
click the “give now” tab. A gift of any amount is appreciated.
RESOURCES
Below are opportunities for free Christian-based
resources for both English- and Spanish-speaking
persons and chaplains. When you contact the
addresses below, tell our partners VL referred you.
VICTORIOUS LIVING
Personal correspondence available in English and Spanish.
Bulk copies of VLMag are available for jail and prison libraries
at chaplain’s request.
PO Box 2751
Email: hope@vlmag.org
Greenville, NC 27836
2ND OPPORTUNITY
Reentry and
employmentreadiness
programming; job/
housing referrals
upon request.
PO Box 3411
Peachtree City, GA
30269
PRISON
ALLIANCE
Discipleship studies
by mail; free Christian
books and Bibles for
libraries at request of
authorized personnel.
PO Box 97095
Raleigh, NC
27624
RESCUED NOT
ARRESTED
Free NIV Bibles, Bible
study correspondence
course, and NIV Life
Application Study Bible
upon completion
of study.
PO Box 90606
Phoenix, AZ 85066
CROSSROADS PRISON
MINISTRIES
Correspondence
Bible studies and
mentoring letters with
completed lessons. Free
Bibles for CRM students
upon request.
PO Box 900
Grand Rapids, MI 49509
HOPE IS ALIVE
Nationally-based sober
living homes, faith-based
support groups, and grief
support groups for those
impacted by addiction.
14400 Bogert Parkway
Suite 200
Oklahoma City, OK
73134
34
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