Lot's Wife Edition 4 2024

EDITION FOUR

Thank you to our wonderful
contributors!
We are always on the lookout for new writers
and artists to contribute to future editions. If you
would like to get involved, shoot us a message
on socials, email or pop your head into our
office!
Writers
(in order of appearence) Max Tory, Sasha Braybrooke, LB, Angus
Duske, Mary Elisabeth, Ash Dowling, Julia Fullard, Yifan, Erica Di
Pierro.
Artists
Padvamashini, Louis Perez, @dora_and_design, Thisanga Serasinghe.
Editors
Contact us
Angus Duske, Samantha Hudson and Mandy
Li
Email: msa-lotswife@monash.edu.au
Instagram: @lotswifemag
Facebook: Lot’s Wife
Lot’s Wife Office
Level 1 Campus Centre, next to Sir John’s Bar
Disclaimer
Lot’s Wife is the student magazine of Monash Student
Association (MSA). The views expressed herein do
not necessarily reflect those of the MSA, the printers
or editors. All material remains the property of the
accredited creators and shall not be redistributed without
consent.
Lot’s Wife is produced and published on Aboriginal land. We acknowledge the
Boon Wurrung and Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung peoples of the Kulin Nation as the
traditional and continuous owners af the land. Sovereignty was never ceded.
3

CONTENTS
6 - MSA departmental reports
11 - MSA financial statement
Campus & analysis
12 - Lot's Wife budget report
16 - The Gaza solidarity encampment
20 - Who would side with Woodside?
23 - SURLY photogrpahy competition
26 - Confessions of a hopeless romantic
Creative
30 - As the underwood burns
32 - Camp fires
34 - Yellow flowers
35 - Untitled poem (by Yifan)
37 - Toasted marshmellows
38 - The Problem
LW
EDITION FOUR
TWENTYTWENTYFOUR
28 - Dutton's nuclear meltdown: why the
Coalitions proposed nuclear policy is a mess
COVER ARTIST: PADVAMASHINI / 'MADRAS TO MELBOURNE'
I’ve felt profound warmth in two places: where I’m from (Chennai, AKA Madras) and where I am (Melbourne).
My memories of both of these places are their magnificent buildings and glorious beaches.
On one side, the Flinders Street station stands harmoniously next to the majestic temple Gopuram (a monolith
of religious art), both a testament to the history, architecture, and culture of both cities. Below them, the
tranquil Brighton Beach, where my friends and I spent many evenings unwinding after a long day soaking in
the salty breeze, can be seen alongside the corn roaster, an iconic symbol of Chennai's Marina Beach. where,
As a child, me and my sisters used to hold my mother's hand while we attempted to walk in the deep sand,
excited to spend the night with our family.
I feel a profound sense of belonging in both of these cities I call home.
4 5

MSA DEPARTMENT REPORTS / EDITION FOUR 2024
PRESIDENT: CHLOE WARD (SHE/THEY)
Hi Everyone! I hope that everyone had the most amazing Semester 1
and gets to enjoy their break! There are some exciting things happening
in Semester 2! After a few trials in Semester 1, the MSA Foodbank will
officially be opening in Semester 2 to ensure students have as much
access to free and fresh produce and food as possible! We sre also
excited to welcome Mid-Year commencing students with our Mid-Year
Festival that will have fun activities, clubs and a chance to meet your OBs!
Keep an eye on socials because Semester 2 will be more amazing stuff
from MSA and we can’t wait for you to see it!
SECRETARY: ZAREH KOZANIAN (HE/HIM)
No report received from this department.
TREASURER: JOSHUA WALTERS (HE/HIM)
No report received from this department.
ACTIVITIES: FATIMA IQBAL (SHE/HER) AND RAAGE NOOR (HE/HIM)
No report received from this department.
CREATIVE & LIVE ARTS: GINA FORD (SHE/HER) AND HAIDER SHAH
(HE/HIM)
Next semester, the Creative and Live Arts (CLA) department at Monash
University plans to offer up to six Wednesday sessions, each featuring
new artists and unique themes. These sessions will showcase a variety
of creative disciplines, providing students with an opportunity to engage
with contemporary art and innovative practices. We are also working on
collaborations with other departments to create exciting interdisciplinary
events that blend different fields of study with the arts. Our aim is to
become more active and visible on campus, fostering a vibrant, creative
community. Through these initiatives, we hope to create more fun and
memorable experiences for students, enriching their university life with
diverse cultural and artistic activities. The CLA is dedicated to enhancing
student engagement and promoting a lively, inclusive environment for all.
MSA DEPARTMENT REPORTS / EDITION FOUR 2024
DISABILITIES & CARERS: GERARDIEN AFIFAH (SHE/HER) AND
CHARLOTTE SUTTON (SHE/HER)
Semester 1 was a big semester for all things Disabilities & Carers with lots
of events and lots of advocacy. Physical accessibility across the campus
continues to be an ongoing focus of ours and we hope to continue
to improve this in semester 2. More broadly we are working towards
accessibility being considered in every aspect of the uni.
In the coming weeks we look forward to continuing our advocacy work as
well as planning and running events in semester 2 details of which will be
available on our social media soon!
As always if there is anything that you need support with or an accessibility
issue you are aware of, please email msa-disabilities@monash.edu
EDUCATION (ACADEMIC AFFAIRS) NAOMI DREGO (SHE/HER) AND
GRAYSON LOWE (HE/HIM)
No report received from this department.
EDUCATION (PUBLIC AFFAIRS): SAHAR FARUKH (SHE/HER) AND NAFIZ
ISLAM (HE/HIM)
No report received from this department.
ENVIRONMENTAL & SOCIAL JUSTICE: SOPHIE ALLEN (SHE/HER) AND
THOMAS WHITE (HE/THEY)
Keep a look out for events from ESJ early semester 2!! We’re announcing our first
ever ‘SUSTAIN’ festival! The day is all about learning how we can live sustainably in a
multitude of aspects in our lives, not just ecologically. There will be lots of fun activities,
free food and maybe even some prizes to be won! We will also be releasing some
new podcasts of our panel discussions that we recorded in Semester 1 for everyone
to listen to!
INDIGENOUS: MARLLEY MCNAMARA (SHE/HER)
No report received from this department.
6 7

MSA DEPARTMENT REPORTS / EDITION FOUR 2024 MSA DEPARTMENT REPORTS / EDITION FOUR 2024
PEOPLE OF COLOUR: ANSHUMAN DAS (HE/HIM) AND TOOBA JAVED
(SHE/HER)
On April 17th, we hosted our final event of semester 1. The event was free of charge,
inviting students to attend to enjoy a relaxing night of pizza, drinks and games.
Attendees were encouraged to bring friends and unwind before the exam period
intensified.
One of our main future goals that we're working on is a Racism Report! This report
carries within it pain, exhaustion, and experiences that BIPOC students should not
have to endure. The results of this report form the basis of the recommendations to
the University of
Monash and MSA. The struggle against racism is not one that can be won overnight;
it needs persistent dedication, collaboration, and activism. As a union, we will use
our resources to demand and push for change. Education should be a fundamental
right for all, and it should be provided in a safe and inclusive environment, free from
discrimination and racism.
QUEER: MADI CURKOVIC (SHE/HER) AND KELLY CVETKOVA (SHE/HER)
Thus far we have planned multiple left-wing film screenings, and a speaking event
with guests who are former campus queer activists, in consultation with Monash
Alumni. Since our last report, we have successfully had a screening of the film “How
to Capture a Prime Minister” in the Campus Centre Cinema, with the director and
producer of the film visiting campus and giving a speech prior to the film. We also
raised awareness on IDAHOBIT, which falls on May 17th.
We have also been a central part of the Gaza Solidarity Encampment, a student protest
for Palestine which lasted just over two weeks. MSA Queer was the only section of the
Monash Student Association for the entire duration of the encampment that officially
supported this protest and had any role in its planning and occurrence. We consider
it crucial that student representatives take a political stand against atrocities, like the
one unfolding in Gaza at the hands of Israel.
MSA Queer has played an integral role to the encampment, including chairing 5
rallies at the Gaza Solidarity Encampment. We made repeated attempts to reach
out to the MSA executive to support pro-Palestine activism, the right to protest, and
freedom of speech. All of these were rejected. It is a disappointment and a disgrace
that the only department that was actively involved in the encampment was the
Queer department, especially during the time that Israel began its attack on the city
of Rafah..
RESIDENTIAL: ARIQ ILHAM (HE/HIM) AND AYLIN VAHABOVA (SHE/
HER)
No report received from this department.
WELFARE: CAMPBELL FROST (HE/HIM) AND TEAGAN HAYWARD (SHE/
THEY)
Hey everyone!
Campbell and Teagan at the Welfare Department had a very exciting first semester
full of free food. We did Free Food Mondays every week from 1 to 12 in the semester.
We also ran to Welfare on Wheels week during the semester.
We are gearing up for another great semester and preparing to run our Welfare
Week during Week 5 of Semester 2. During this week, we will be running activities
every day from Monday to Thursday. On Monday, we will be running a craft market in
conjunction with CLA, on Tuesday, we will be running a Movie Night, on Wednesday
we will be running a panel and on Thursday we will have an afternoon tea! We hope
to encourage healthy conversations amongst friends throughout the week!
We will also be running Free Food Mondays every week from Week 1.
WOMEN'S: ZOE BINNS (SHE/HER) AND KATYA SPILLER (SHE/HER)
Heya it's Zoe from MSA Women's!
Wow what a semester?!? MSA womens kicked it off in December deep cleaning the
Women's lounge in campus centre while also replacing labels and bedding supplies.
At O week we met our community and handed out reusable period underwear. We felt
the rage at our International women's day rage room and in week 3 we collaborated
with Disabilities and Carers for an endometriosis awareness week and giveaway. At
the start of every week, we replaced Women's lounge supplies, and every Thursday
afternoon marked 'tea time talks' with an extra special mindfulness colouring Tea
Time Talk at the end of semester. In advocacy work we focused on sexual assault
prevention, communicating with external organisation such as 'End Rape on Campus'
and 'Women's Health East.' Internally, with Equity, Diversity and Inclusion department
on sexual harm prevention strategy documents. We also worked with MSA residential
to extend the period positivity project, next semester we hope to see wider access
to free period products across campus. Finally, we began planning for semester 2
events, including the much coveted Safe & Sexy week - we're so excited and you
should be too! Bring on semester 2, much love MSA Women's

MSA DEPARTMENT REPORTS / EDITION FOUR 2024
CLUBS & SOCIETIES: PAUL HALLIDAY (HE/THEY)
2024 has shaped up to be a massive year for C&S and the second half of the
year isn’t looking any quieter. In Semester 1 Clubs & Societies supported clubs in
holding 169 off-campus events including 15 camps and an international trip, along
with hundreds of events on campus. This semester also saw over $100,000 worth of
grants distributed to clubs allowing them to run activities, build their community, and
offer students a place to get involved, meet people, and make friends. Behind the
scenes the C&S Executive has worked to overhaul our internal processes allowing us
to be more efficient and better support clubs. With Semester 2 just around the corner
the work doesn't stop as we get ready to support clubs taking part in Semester 2
O-Fest, welcoming new clubs into the fray with New Clubs applications opening up,
and another busy semester of club events and activities.
MATURE AND PART TIME STUDENTS (MAPS): STUART GIBSON
No report received from this department.
MSA FINANCIAL STATEMENT
The most recent MSA financial statement can be accessed using the QR
code below.
MONASH INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS' SERVICE: ZONGJUN ZHANG
After a thrilling first semester, we are planning to come out bigger in the coming
semester. We will be having our fortnightly free welfare lunches along with a Welfare
Day later. We will also be having a Day Trip in the semester and we will end our
year with the One World Fest which will be a huge event for MUISS. We also will be
advocating for international student loans and trying to make the process easier to
support students with money at the time of their need.
RADIO MONASH: GEORGIE MCCOLM (SHE/HER)
Radio Monash has had an incredible first semester. With a large committee of over
20+ students, we have managed to achieve so much and we can’t wait to do it again
this semester. If you’re interested in running a radio show or podcast this semester,
make sure you get your application in by the 9th of August! To listen to our stream or
to submit a show application go to radiomonash.online
So what do we have in store this semester? Whilst the dates are TBA, in week 2 we
will hold our Training Night, so if your interested in running a show or getting involved
make sure you come along! We will have two large social events, Battle of the Bands
with CLA, and Back on the Waves (an off-campus event with awesome local and
student talent). We have a few more to announce so stay tuned!
10 11

LOT'S WIFE READ THE BUDGET SO YOU DON'T
HAVE TO
A SLOW NEWS GUIDE TO THE 2024/25 FEDERAL BUDGET FOR THE NEW FINANCIAL YEAR
TW: Sexual harassment, and gender-based
violence
It’s been a little over two months since
Treasurer Jim Chalmers stood at the Dispatch
Box of the House of Representatives and
tabled the 2024-25 federal Budget, but a
mere few weeks since many of the actions
Dr. Chalmers was spruiking have come into
effect. For those of you without a political
bent, this Budget may well have flown over
your heads. Which is where Lot’s Wife comes
in. For, possibly, the first time in our sixty
year history, we were present for the media
lock-up in Canberra on May 14, 2024.
A media lock-up briefly involves members
of the Federal Parliamentary Press Gallery
and other interested publications – such
as us – are locked away in Parliament
House for seven hours to pour over the
budget documents before they are tabled
so informed coverage of the budget can be
released simultaneously with the Treasurer’s
speech. In saying that, we decided to hold
off releasing our analysis for our next print
edition.
Lot’s Wife’s presence at this Budget was
particularly significant considering the
swath of measures improving the tertiary
education sector – implemented as a result
of the Australian Universities Accords Final
Report, handed down in February 2024 – in
addition to substantial cost of living relief
for the Australian public. We chose to focus
our attention to these two areas, as they
were what our readers decided were most
important to them, and also considering
there were hundreds upon hundreds of
pages to analyse and a finite amount of
time, we had to focus our efforts somewhere.
Cost of Living Relief
It was clear as day that this Budget was
focussed on delivering relief from the cost
of living crisis to the Australian population,
the Budget itself was titled “Cost of Living
Help & a Future Made in Australia” not
to mention Dr. Chalmers’s declaration in
his speech that “the number one priority
of this Government and this Budget is to
help Australians with the cost of living.” For
the sake of conciseness, we shall list the
Government’s headline reforms and then
delve into some of them in more depth:
• Tax cuts for all taxpayers with an average
benefit of $1,888 a year or $36 a week;
• 3.5 billion dollars to deliver energy bill
relief in the form of a universal $300
rebate for all Australians and select
businesses;
• 3 billion dollars towards making
medicines cheaper and supporting
community pharmacies, as well as
freezing the maximum cost of PBS
prescriptions at $31.60;
• 3.4 billion dollars towards adding more
medicines to the PBS including cutting
the costs of a particular breast cancer
treatment from $100,000 down to $31.60;
• 3 billion dollars worth of student debt
wiped for 3 million Australians by
reforming the way that HECS-HELP loans
are indexed;
• Mandating compliance with the Food
and Grocery Code and funding quarterly
price comparison reports to help
consumers make informed decisions
about purchases; and
• 1.9 billion dollars to increase the
maximum rates of Commonwealth Rent
Assistance by a further 10% – marking
the first back-to-back increase of the rate
in 30 years.
Labor’s cost of living tax cuts, having been
reformed from the Morrison government’s
stage three tax cuts to now provide a tax
cut to every single Australian taxpayer, 84%
of whom will get a larger tax cut than they
would have under the previous scheme. This
includes 2.9 million people earning under
$45,000 who would have not received a
benefit at all. Benefits will range from $804
for those in the lowest tax bracket to $4,529
for those in the highest tax bracket, with the
average benefit slated to be $1,888 or $36
per week. These changes came into effect
from July 1, 2024.
Another significant change that came into
effect on July 1 is the government’s energy
rebate scheme. Under the programme
10 million households can expect a $300
rebate from their energy bills throughout the
year – that is to say if you pay your bills
quarterly you would receive a $75 discount
per quarter – with no means testing required.
Additionally, approximately one million
eligible small businesses can also expect a
benefit of $325 paid in a similar manner.
The Government is billing this reform as
a measure to combat inflation suggesting
that it will directly reduce inflation by
approximately ½ of a percentage point.
More cost of living relief comes with regards
to ensuring cheap access to prescription
medications. This includes freezing the cost
of pharmaceutical benefits scheme (PBS)
prescriptions at $31.60 for the next two
years. In addition, they are freezing the
rate of PBS medications for concession card
holders and pensioners at $7.70 for the next
five years. It is also welcome news that the
Government will be allocating 3.4 billion
dollars to add further medicines to the PBS,
dramatically lowering the costs of many of
the medications that are added.
The final major cash splash, and arguably
the most significant reform for students, is
the Government’s intervention to reduce
the indexation of student loans. From their
inception in 1989, the Higher Education
Contribution Scheme (HECS) has been
indexed based on the Consumer Price Index
at the start of the financial year. However
these reforms will see student loans indexed
to the lower of the wage price index or the
CPI, and what’s more these reforms will be
backdated to 2023 wiping 3 billion dollars
worth of indexation from last year’s 7.1%
hike. While this may be a welcome change,
it is worth noting that this does not resolve
the issue whereby indexation is exclusive of
any payments made in a year, and the fact
that university degrees have seen a real
increase in fees of 415% – excluding
12 13

indexation. So there is still a long way to
make higher education readily accessible
to all, particularly given the Government’s
desire to see 80% of the population with
higher education qualifications or equivalent
by 2050.
Tertiary Education Reforms
University students have hardly had it easy
in the last couple of years, as we know only
too well. The Government has been quick to
highlight that supporting students is one of
their priorities in this year’s Budget – to the
extent they announced certain measures
prior to the Budget’s official release – so
the question is: do these reforms live up to
the hype?
Most of the reforms that we’ve found in
this Budget have been funded through the
Government’s 1.1 billion dollar per year
investment (with additional funding from
2028-29) as the first stage of a response
to the Australian Universities Accords Final
Report. We’ve listed the measures affecting
Monash students below so you don’t have
to read the whole article if you don’t want
to:
• 427.4 million dollars over 4 years to
establish paid placements for some
disciplines from July 1, 2025 paying
students $319.50 per week;
• 19.4 million dollars over 2 years
to establish a National Student
Ombudsman from 2025;
• 18.7 million dollars over 4 years to
introduce a National Higher Education
Code to Prevent and Respond to
Gender Based Violence from January
2025;
• 2.1 million dollars over 4 years to
develop and implement regulations
requiring universities to establish new
supplies of student accommodation to
support an increase in international
student enrolments;
• High education providers will be
required to provide 40% of Student
Services and Amenities Fee revenue to
student-led organisations from January
1, 2025; and
• 239.7 million dollars over 5 years to
limit the indexation of student loans to
the lower of either CPI or WPI backdated
to June 1, 2023 – which will wipe 3
billion dollars from the student loans of
3 million Australians.
The establishment of paid placements
should come as a relief to those undertaking
degrees with mandatory placement
components, and mark the end of a lengthy
campaign waged by the National Union
of Students. But these reforms aren’t quite
as generous as they seem. For one these
payments are only being offered to those
studying nursing, midwifery, teaching, or
social work. The government’s reasoning for
not extending to degrees beyond this such
as medicine – there is already a petition
circulation calling for just this – is based
on Recommendation 14 of the Australian
Universities Accords Final Report which calls
for these areas to be funded as an incentive
for students to enter these industries deemed
as being of national economic importance.
Additionally, the weekly payment – which
is benchmarked to the rate of Austudy – of
$319.50 when taken over a 40-hour week
comes out to slightly less than $5 an hour.
In a cost of living crisis, asking students to
survive on this payment alone full-time is
frankly barbarous, considering this payment
alone could not cover the cost of on-campus
accommodation at the Clayton Campus.
Finally, these payments will be means-tested
and while the Department of Education did
not reveal whether they would be subject
to the same tests as Austudy, they did
express a wish to collaborate with University
administration to streamline the process for
students. So while it’s exciting to see
something students have long called for
finally introduced as government policy, it
is clear that further advocacy is needed
to ensure that all students undertaking
placements, no matter their chosen degree,
receive payments that are both fair and
liveable.
The introduction of a National Student
Ombudsman fulfils yet another The
introduction of a National Student
Ombudsman fulfils yet another
recommendation of the Accords Report. The
Ombudsman would act as an independent
mechanism for tertiary education students to
escalate grievances and complaints against
their university or TAFE's administration or
practices. Following a two year introductory
phase these responsibilities will be merged
with the Commonwealth Ombudsman.
The introduction of a National Higher
Education Code to Prevent and Respond
to Gender-based Violence. It’s no
understatement that this is a serious issue
that should be treated with the utmost
urgency considering that women are 63%
more likely to experience sexual harassment
on a university’s grounds than men (26%
chance). Given the Budget papers do
not go into the specifics of the Code, we
can only hope that it will be based on
recommendations from the Accords, and be
based on the experiences and feedback of
students and staff at universities across the
country.
The Government’s decision to cap
international student enrolments based
on availability of student accommodation
appears to be a band-aid solution trying
to solve a number of issues, but none
in an effective manner. The logic, as set
out in the Accords Final Report is that by
limiting international enrolments to student
accommodation capacity, they are reducing
the burden on the private rental market by
providing alternative accommodation for
students. It also incentivises universities
to expand their supply of student
accommodation capacity which should
theoretically reduce the cost of said
accommodation for both domestic and
international students. However, given the
prices of on-campus accommodation in
comparison to the rental market, it is hard
to see how this policy will stack up in the
long run.
Since its introduction in 2011, Student
Services and Amenities Fees have been
used by tertiary institutions to fund a range of
services and facilities, as well as providing
funding to student associations such as
the MSA. However these institutions have
been free to choose the proportion given
to student associations, so the changes
in this Budget to legislate a 40% minimum
payment to student-led organisations
will be welcomed, particularly by those
institutions that don’t currently receive that
level of funding. Though it should be noted
that Monash’s SSAF distribution currently
gives 40% of revenue to Monash student
organisations (the MSA, the MGA, MONSU
Caulfield, MONSU Parkville, and MONSU
Peninsula) with the remaining 60% going
towards funding other services, such as
Monash Sport, and facilities.
All quotes, figures, and statistics sourced in
this article have been sought from the 2024-
24 Federal Budget Papers, prepared by the
Department of the Treasury; and the Australian
Universities Accords Final Report, prepared
by the Australians Universities Accord Review
Panel, both of which are readily accessible
online.
14 15

THE
GAZA
BY MAX TORY
SOLIDARITY
ENCAMPMENT
Content warning: discussions of genocide, islamaphobia, transphobia
At 4:00am on April, 17th 2024, students at Columbia University in New York City began pitching
tents on the University’s East Butler Lawn, launching what they labelled the “Gaza Solidarity
Encampment”. By the following afternoon, the Columbia administration had already called
in the police to break up the encampment, and 108 students had been arrested and dozens
suspended.
Despite its speedy and brutal repression, or perhaps because of it, the Columbia Encampment
sparked a movement which spread like wildfire. By May 3, almost 3000 protesters had been
arrested at university campuses in the USA alone, and more than 130 American universities
had seen encampments or sit-ins. The movement soon went global. On April 23, Students for
Palestine established one of the first encampments outside of North America. From Egypt to
Germany, Britain to Brazil, students took radical action, and often faced down state violence
in doing so.
It was in this context that Students for Palestine Monash set up an encampment at Clayton
Campus on May 1. In line with the demands of the global movement, we called for Monash
to disclose its ties with weapons companies and with the State of Israel. We demanded an
immediate end to these ties, and we called on the Australian Government to end its ongoing
support for the genocide and cut its ties with Israel.
Monash maintains a litany of sordid ties with the arms industry, and is directly complicit in
the genocide in Gaza. Their website boasts of their intention to “leverage the power of our
research capabilities… to transform the future of the defence industry,” and that Monash is
at the “forefront of Australian nuclear materials research.” In 2023, Monash’s “Aerospace
Industry Advisory Board”, which advised on the course material for the Uni’s Aerospace
Engineering degree, featured a litany of weapons industry leaders, most notably a leading
manager at BAE systems – a weapons company which, among other things, takes part in
the “development, manufacture, and sustainment” of the F-35 fighter jet, which is currently
used by the IDF to bomb civilians in Gaza. The aerospace advisory board has since been
removed from Monash’s website. Monash also maintains direct ties, including an exchange
16
programme, with Tel Aviv University, which is not only a key pillar of Israel’s military-industrial
complex, but also in the business of producing ideological and legal defences for Israeli
practices of apartheid and occupation through its institutes and think tanks.
In light of this, it should come as no shock that the university’s attitude to the Encampment was
hostile from the outset. Despite promising to do so, Monash management never addressed
or responded to the demands of the Encampment. However, management wasted no time
sending out an email to all students and staff barely four hours after the camp launched,
warning student activists against engaging in anti-semitic, Islamophobic, or otherwise
discriminatory behaviour, physical violence, property damage, or (god forbid!) disruption of
university classes. When, the following night, a group of far-right Israel supporters (including
serving marquees, stealing food, shouting transphobic and Islamophobic abuse, and loudly
playing racist music – Monash was conspicuously silent. University security subjected us to
hourly ID checks, while facilitating repeated incursions into the camp and harassment of
campers by the far-right and supporters of Israel, and removed the barricades we set up to
defend ourselves from these attacks. Monash attempted to ban students from saying popular
pro-Palestine phrases, and finally ordered 9 leading activists to leave the Encampment lawn
on threat of expulsion, in effect forcing the closure of the Encampment.
However, our camp was met with an incredible response from the Monash community.
Hundreds of students and staff came by to show their support. We held rallies, teach-ins, and
film screenings. Students joined us to paint pro-Palestine placards and banners. Palestinian
students shared their families’ stories of dispossession and oppression at the hands of the
Israeli state. Activists from the anti-Vietnam War era dropped in to teach us about the last
round of radical protest at Monash. The Camp became a centre for political debate and
education, with discussions on the role of the ALP, the history of free speech at university
campuses, and the movement against apartheid in South Africa.
In general, the student encampments have been a crucial aspect of the Palestine movement
internationally. Now almost 9 months into the genocide, the depth, breadth, and longevity of
the movement is astounding. Yet western support for Israel has not faltered. It is vital that the
movement remains dynamic; searching for creative ways to spread our message,

each new people, and put pressure on our genocidal
ruling class and its institutions. While the encampments
have generally not won their demands in the short-term,
they have made an important contribution to this end.
They put the issue of Palestine back in the centre of world
politics, and brought an energy and radicalism which has
revitalised the movement.
Every social movement needs its radical edge, and students
have historically played that role- from Monash students
raising money for the North-Vietnamese army in the 1960s
to courageous high-schoolers in Soweto launching the
struggle which brought down South African apartheid. The
student encampment protests and Students for Palestine
aim to play that role for the Palestine movement in
Australia. The encampments have involved hundreds of
students in Palestine activism for the first time, and given
the movement a real boost, but there is so much more
to do.. Every pro-Palestine Monash student has a role to
play in getting this university to divest from genocide, and
fighting for Palestinian liberation.
WORDS BY MANDY LI
Max Tory is a member of Students for Palestine Monash.
18 19

Who would side with Woodside?
freedom.
Woodside is investing in us are easily
Monash is yet to show signs of ditching refutable. What does a university amassing
its obsolete partnership despite growing $300 million in profits each year and that has
by Sasha Braybrooke
concern. The Monash-Woodside conference a research income of $593.3 million or an
is an annual conference set to be held in oil and gas giant raking in near $14 blillion
Prato, 28-30 June.
in annual revenues stand to gain from this
While many of us have enjoyed down In 2019, the Woodside Monash Energy
Having been renamed, now adopting the partnership? The answer is clearly more
time between semesters, one staple of life Partnership (WMEP) was renewed alongside
acronym WMEP (Woodside-Monash Energy money, and little else. The oil and gas giant
at Monash University hasn’t stopped: the the Future Lab, and they represent a joint
Partnership) conference we can only assume aims to piggyback off a university built on
greenwashing of the climate emergency by investment of more than $40 million.1 This
this is the result of growing unrest over the foundations of hardworking staff and
Woodside Energy.
lead to the construction of the building now
the university’s ties to the company. This is students for its own gain.
Heralding its name from the small town of located on the northern side of campus.
made evident by the ‘code of conduct’ for This is not all, in the weeks following
Woodside in Victoria, this is not the only thing While the reports and PR will have you
the conference which asks attendees to “... the previous publication a world record
the Gas company has adopted to portray believe that the investment and partnership
ensure that they do not support, condone shareholder vote was held. This vote involved
a clean image. Most known to Monash is to encourage the ‘...energy transition over
or encourage in any way any protest or shareholders of Woodside Energy voting
University students is the Woodside Building the next seven years’,1 this is hard to believe.
potential protest against the Event or its against the gas giants so-called ‘Climate
for Technology and Design.
Woodside has a proud history of climate
subject matter.”
Plan’.
For most, this building serves as a shiny, ecofriendly
building which you might enter for an profit of $10 billion, of which less than 1%
the website to realise the true intentions of behind Woodside’s climate ‘plan’, then why
destruction. In 2022-2023 they amassed a
It doesn’t take more than a quick skim of If shareholders can see the sinister reality
engineering unit. The inside boasts glassy goes to the carbon capture technology they
the conference, boasting speakers like Tim can’t a university supposedly committed to
panels, elevators and beautiful interiors and claim is leading to their transition to clean
Wilson, former Liberal member for Goldstein. achieving Net Zero?
classrooms. And for most, seeing the silver energy.
Additionally, the conference proudly displays Monash claims its net zero policies are
letters WOODSIDE emblazoned on the front The company is one of the world’s ten
key topics including: “How do social media, based on:
is of no worry.
largest hydrocarbon extractors, and since
‘cancel culture’ and lawfare interface with the • Energy efficiency measures;
But this should be a grave concern to us all. its inception has stopped at nothing to
pace and scale of investment (and regulatory • Campus electrification;
If last Edition’s article wasn’t enough to maintain its greasy hold on power. This has
approval) needed for the energy transition,” • High performance, all-electric buildings;
convince you, or you simply missed it, here’s included intimidating young activists via
and, “What is the role of climate activism/ • Deployment of on-site and off-site
a hard and fast summary of Monash’s gag orders and bail conditions, destroying
NIMBYism and climate solution denialism renewable energy;
favourite corporation and its partnership with sacred Indigenous rock art for its Burrup-
activism/NIMBYism in thwarting emissions • Intelligent energy networks;
the university.
Hub offshore gas drilling project (in spite of
reduction?”
• Net-zero transport opportunities; and
The partnership can be traced all the protests from Greenpeace and Conservation
If this isn’t enough to make your blood boil, • Addressing our residual emissions
way back to 2016, with the ‘Future Lab’ on Council in Western Australia) and bribery and
or in the least elict a wry chuckle, we can through offsetting.
campus, supposedly to propel innovation corruption with the Mauritian Government.
only add that the blatant greenwashing gets Yet this all falls apart when you merely
and research. However, the partnership in its According to the 2021 Monash Annual
worse.
glance at this duplicitous partnership.
current form took off in 2019. According to the Report, the Woodside Monash Partnership
An important distinction must be made Further investigation also notes that Monash
Woodside Futurelab and Energy Partnership is the largest single industry-academia
here the issue with the W.M.E.P. lies in not is signatory to the United Nations Sustainable
at Monash University Annual Report 2019, partnership, totalling $66.5 million dollars at
the researchers or the research itself, but the Development Goals and claims that it will,
“The Woodside Monash Energy Partnership the time.
sheer reputational damage, greenwashing “continue to transition its investment portfolio
is a natural extension of the successful Woodside has seeped its oily reaches into
and social licence buying exhibited by the towards carbon neutrality.” Additionally the
relationship that began with FutureLab in the very depths of our university - a university
shareholders. Claims that the W.M.E.P. might first Environment and Social Governance
2016.”
that should be public and for academic
make Woodside more sustainable, or that (E.S.G.) statement launched in December
20 21

2016 declared that the University has a policy
to divest from fossil fuels. The latest 2021
E.S.G. statement reaffirms this commitment.
If this is the case, then why has Monash
chosen to partner with a company that is so
clearly against this? Careful reading notes
that Monash has only committed to coal
investment and fossil fuels, as, “the University
will actively work with fund managers to
exclude companies whose primary activity is
coal production from its indirect investment
portfolio.” (Emphasis added.)
It’s not all climate doom however, Stop
Woodside Monash (SWM) has made active
efforts to counter the blatant green-washing
encouraged by the University.
Further, SWM intends to be transparent and
clear about our actions and principles:
SWM has met and spoken with the Dean of
Engineering: which has resulted in clear aims
to find information regarding the partnership.
We have eceived endorsement from the:
• National Tertiary Education Union
(NTEU)
• Monash Student Association (MSA)
• Campus Climate Network (CCN)
SWM has also attended the Rising Tide
Screening hosted by MSA, conducted
banner drops (including one above the
Monash Freeway) and coordinated with
Greenpeace and the Australian Institute.
It is of utmost importance that we don’t allow
a private oil and gas company, which has
output 187.2 million barrels of oil equivalent
in a year, to compromise this institution.
Universities should be built on the principles
of honesty, academic freedom, and integrity,
and no company’s profits should prevail
above those principles.
For that reason, I encourage any interested
to join our group at:
stopwoodsidemonash.org or
@stopwoodsidemonash on Instagram.
.
Winners featured on next page!
22 .
23

RUNNER UP: 'A MILLION THINGS TO DO' BY KIDABUG
RUNNER UP: 'MENZIES ON FILM' BY JANSET SELBAS
WINNER: 'AFTERGLOW' BY CHAITAL
24 25

26 27

Confessions of a hopeless romantic
By LB
It’s like I am desperately running away from the past. From all the mistakes, the heartbreaks
and the tears. For the past three or four years, I have constantly been heartbroken in
one form or another, between friendship breakups and unrequited love. There are some
heartbreaks that were self-inflicted by my self-sabotaging impulses. Others were from
choosing the wrong people to crush on.
I had been raised on a diet of Disney movies and Hollywood romcoms. These had been
formative for my views surrounding love. Noting that these movies are almost always
heteronormative and restrictive in their portrayal of romantic relationships, but that is a
topic for another article. They portray a type of fairytale-like love, where love is put on
a pedestal. It is idealised and seen as sacred. The idea that love conquers all. That no
matter what happens, if you put your foot down and work through the issues you will end
up together, happily ever after. And in Disney movies, the first person you lay eyes on is the
person you are going to end up with for the rest of your life. That was my view of romantic
love, a rather unrealistic and wide-eyed one.
From my experience, romantic love doesn’t work that way in real life. Sometimes efforts
are futile. You are just incompatible. Sometimes life gets in the way. Your life circumstances
change, like when you live in two different countries, with no prospect of moving closer to
each other. Sometimes your own problems get in the way. Like when you are too scared
of being abandoned, that you leave first. Sometimes you have to get your heart broken a
few times by a few different people until you can find someone to settle down with for the
long-term.
Romantic love is beautiful. It is messy. It is imperfect. It is painful. Just like humans. To love is
to accept the risk of emotional pain. It can give you such a kick in the gut that would make
you want to give up on the idea of romance.
Despite knowing that romantic love is not the only type of love to exist, I would have to
agree with the Hot Priest in Fleabag that “love isn’t something that weak people do. Being
a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope'.
As much as I want to stop believing in the idea of romantic love after all the mistakes, the
heartbreaks and the tears, it is just not possible for a hopeless romantic like me. I may
still be a bit ‘hopeless’ at the moment, but maybe someday I will get to experience that
‘romantic’ part again. But for now, it will just be me, music and Mother Nature setting out
for an attempt at self-love.
28 29

DUTTON'S NUCLEAR
MELTDOWN: WHY THE
COALITION'S PROPOSED
NUCLEAR POLICY IS A
MESS
In the last month the Coalition have
finally produced their long awaited – 687
days awaited if the Minister for Climate
Change and Energy is correct – energy
policy prioritising nuclear energy. And
to say this policy is controversial would
be an understatement, of course it is the
Australian Labor Party and Australian
Greens policy platforms both take a
strong anti-nuclear stance to “prohibit the
establishment of nuclear power plants
and all other stages of the nuclear fuel
cycle” and that “nuclear power is not a
safe, clean, timely, economic, or practical
solution to reducing global greenhouse
gas emissions” respectively. Even Coalition
MPs who might see their nuclear reactors
in their seats are concerned by the policy.
And that’s ignoring the national ban on
nuclear power implemented by John
Howard in 1999, as well as state bans
in New South Wales, Queensland, and
Victoria, whose leaders have indicated
they are not willing to overturn those bans.
So with a bumpy road ahead, is it twentythird
times the charm for a Coalition energy
policy, or – to use the words of the Member
for Bruce and Monash alumnus, Julian Hill
– “a ridiculous, risky nuclear fantasy…”?
It is only appropriate that we tackle the
elephant that was not in the room, that is
to say the cost of this not-so-little scheme.
In a press statement on June 19 – jointly
released by Peter Dutton, the Leader of
the Opposition; David Littleproud, Leader
of the Nationals; and Ted O’Brien, Shadow
Minister for Climate Change and Energy –
there was no mention of cost. One wonders
whether this was a deliberate decision
considering that the CSIRO and the
Australian Energy Market Operator (AEMO)
have estimated the operating costs of a
small modular reactor (SMR) would cost
in the vicinity of $400-$600 per megawatt
hour nearly three times the cost of solar
or wind generation using the highest
estimates. Large-scale nuclear operations
such as more conventional reactors on the
other hand have comparable costs with
renewable energy sources but are still
higher around $150-$250 per megawatt
hour. With higher operating costs comes
the potential for higher power bills –
contrary to the Coalition’s own statement.
Estimating a final cost for the seven
proposed sites owing to the fact we do
not know – with the exception of two sites
that can only support SMR development
– the type of reactors to be installed,
the model of reactor, nor the output of
each reactor. Though there is one tell-tale
sign of the costs involved with this policy,
the sites will be government-owned and
government-funded, with partnerships
formed for construction and operation.
For a party that stands for a free market
and a small government the concept of
a government-owned energy industry is
rather telling. It suggests that the private
sector has refused to fund the project – for
reasons that can only be speculated upon.
In saying that assuming the Coalition opts
to commission five large-scale plants and
two SMRs, then these plants will have an
output within the ballpark of six gigawatts,
based on estimates by the ABC. On paper
that figure sounds quite impressive and is
certainly a start towards delivering what
the press statement calls “our net-zero
by 2050 emissions commitments…” The
question arises where does the Coalition
intend to produce the remaining 16
gigawatts of the 22 gigawatts produced
by non-renewable sources presently. This
is another factor where the lack of detail
in this statement becomes problematic,
yet again. Are we to presume these
16 gigawatts are to be allocated to
renewable energy sources, or are there to
be more than one reactor at each of the
proposed sites.
Then we come to the timeline of the roll-
out of nuclear energy. The Coalition’s plan
foresees small modular reactors producing
electricity by 2035, or in the case of larger
conventional plants, 2037. In this time, the
Coalition would have to win Government
– either in 2025, 2028, or 2031 – overturn
the national nuclear ban, convince three
states to do the same – assuming they
don’t outright block the proposal as
they have said they will – and then they
could start construction. That is of course
assuming the technology is available in
the first place, the only two operational
small modular reactors in the world, one in
Russia which started construction in 2007
and began commercial operation in 2020,
and another in China. Then there is the
Rolls-Royce SMR that was spruiked in the
press release, it is undergoing assessment
in the UK which could take years to approve,
meaning Australia would have to be one
of the first recipients of the technology to
meet the stated deadline. In short, the
Coalition is proposing the world’s fastest
roll-out of nuclear technology to meet their
own deadline.
Evidently, the latest of the Coalition’s energy
policies is riddled with faults. And yet for
whatever reason the Labor Party rather
than criticising the policy for its faults, has
taken its own course, playing into the risks
that nuclear energy poses to communities.
And while the risks of nuclear energy
ought to be debated, it should be done
in a mature way, not posting memes on
social media. What ought to be debated
is the numerous faults with this policy and
the fact that Australia’s geography makes
it perfect for solar and wind generation.
After all, considering the Coalition has
spent nearly two decades denying that we
need to reduce emissions, at least they’ve
finally come to the table with a goal to
reach net-zero emissions by 2050.
At the end of the day, if the Coalition wants
to have their twenty-third energy policy
taken seriously, they need to come back
to the table and give us more details. How
much will it cost? How much power will
it generate? What models of reactor are
being considered? How do they intend
to overcome bans at both the state and
national level of government?
BY ANGUS DUSKE
Will they consult with communities, as
members of the Coalition have suggested,
or not? How will they implement this
policy within their own deadlines? If these
questions can be answered, then perhaps
there is a chance someone can find some
merits in this policy. Until then though,
it does appear to be a white elephant
pipedream, a nuclear white elephant
presumably.
30 31

“Do you reckon that monster could actually
be real?”
“What happens if we get lost?”
“Ooh! We should go searching for it! Surely it
can’t be too far.”
“Do you guys ever shut up?”
It was their usual banter, but to James it was
all he could ever yearn for.
consumed him. He was surrounded by
shadows. Branches encased him with their
bony-shaped fingers. The fire had never
been enough, the gooseflesh on his skin
more prominent than ever. The smoke had
slowly filled his lungs, and he tried to subside
a cough that would send the most outlandish
predators straight to a glorious feast of
As the Underwood Burns
Their voices contrasted with the peaceful youthful flesh. The creak of bugs echoed,
resonance of the Underwood: the hum of the moonlight now hidden by the trees,
foreign insects, the flow of lake water– the entrenching him in darkness.
By Mary Elisabeth
snap of a twig!
But his friends were here. He was safe. They
However, when James turned to look, his would never leave him all alone.
James never made it home.
There’d never been much to mourn over anyway: narrow and unstable roads along every
streetway, rundown stores left to rot in debt, fallen leaves that crunched beneath his feet,
echoes of children laughing while he remained inside. A town hidden from a world he
yearned to explore – a haven he’d wished would exile him.
It was home, yet never really was at all. It was home, but the hole in his heart still ached.
Never had he been complacent, nor content with how easily he’d memorised every streetway.
What had belonged to him was easily forgotten – maybe it had never been his.
But what did this mean for his friends?
Well, they were here now. Beside each other, they huddled around the burning wood, its glow
friends’ laughter quickly filled his ears, and
suddenly the strange noise wasn’t so scary
anymore. None of this world was ever
scary when they were around. Together, the
Underwood belonged to them. The greenery
was their kingdom, their empire.
He sat there, admiring each of them,
while adventures from a distant past were
recollected: the monsters that lurked within
the trees, the hidden pathways that led to
unknown territories, the pools of water hidden
Yet, if they had cared so much, why did they?
Their voices now sounded distant, slowly
fading while the shuffle of their belongings
pained his ears. He tried to make them out
within the darkness, but the silence was loud
again – as if it had never momentarily left.
Once colossal, James now felt like the smallest
prey within the Underwood’s domain, the
light completely gone, his heart shattered.
Suddenly home sounded quite nice again,
compared to this neverending venture within
beaming within the foliage that confined them. Though this foliage made the Underwood
between the highlands. No space of land the greenery. Mum wasn’t here to hold him;
so mesmerising, its beauty in the daylight was unmatched. It hypnotised them, made them
wander further into the mirage. The meaning of home was consequently blurred, as though
this had been their home all along. Its darkest hours, however, made James doubtful: bird
songs bellowed tunelessly, tree branches reached out like fingers yearning to snatch him
nor cell of life had remained obscure. Yet the
knowledge that unbeknown realms were still
awaiting discovery made James believe he’d
ascended to Paradise. Home was a faraway
Dad wasn’t around to protect him; his older
brother couldn’t guide him. What did that
even feel like?
So when James found home, he was never
away, weeds itched his ankles and wished to stick and blend his body into the greenery.
land. Here, the world had always been really the same. However, the greenery
But his friends were here, and, fleetingly, his cheeks ached from smiling.
waiting for them.
was still comfortable, despite the cold – the
Their jokes were humorous; their stories held meaning; their acknowledgments of him were
Despite its perils, James sensed the seclusion. Here he had all he could ever
genuine. While the embers before him were bright, the presence of his companions felt like
summer. The Underwood seemed brighter, the moon watching over them with its illuminated
spotlight.
Their voices, all on top of one another, morphed into music, playing just for James, and he
grinned as he listened to every word:
“Why couldn’t we do something indoors?”
Underwood’s benign presence, the heat of
the flames now lightly stinging his face. Never
had he felt so warm.
If only that light would burn forever.
However, it was merely a flicker, and his face
wasn’t warm for long. Slowly, the Underwood
want, what he’d always wanted, despite the
expense. But never had he felt so warm.
No one knew why; no one would ever know
why. It was as though nothing had changed.
His absence had never made a difference.
Exiled he was, yet home had always been
32
waiting for him.
33

Camp fires
by Ash Dowling / art by @dora_and_design
we tell horror stories
holding one another’s hands,
sitting around fires in the open air
for our houses have been destroyed.
the air is smoky, but that’s not from us
bigger fires are burning elsewhere
fires that end stories,
fires that turn hands to dust.
we live now in white tents
beneath a blackening sky,
like a marshmallow held over flames for too
long
when will we crack?
there is sewerage in the streets,
the water is dirty,
my mobile-phone signal flickers,
my Instagram feed is not loading,
we are falling off the grid, gradually then
everything goes quiet. the quiet is what
I used to love most about camping.
34 35

Yellow flowers
Untitled
by Julia Fullard
Tiny yellow flowers
Perfect little bulbs
Canary feather fairy lights
Strung up like crumpled gold
Yellow as Taylor’s acoustic dress
Radiant daffodil poised for surprise
Yellow as the messy crayon sun
Children draw amidst blue skies
Tiny yellow flowers
Perfect little masts
I’ve been chasing yellow so long
And still can’t make it last
by Yifan
drink water
don’t pick your
skin go outside
you can write
poems about birds when
you hear birds sing
we care
you don’t have to
boil the water before you
drink it we are in australia
if you need any
reminding go outside
if you are not the type to think
of warplanes when you hear birds
otherwise don’t go outside
go home let’s initiate dialogues
hydration is important and
we have the most beautiful birds
before your visa expires
go home
let’s listen to both sides of the
story guys let’s go home don’t think
about the sky or the kids who don’t
drink water we didn’t start the
fire also you should
talk to one of our counsellors
about your skin picking and your parents
back home
who have to boil the water before drinking it
because how horrendous
36 37

Toasted Marshmellows
by Erica Di Pierro / art by Thisanga Serasinghe
My dad taught me how to toast campfire
marshmallows when I was young. But no
matter how hard I tried to follow his instructions
I always burnt them. All my cousins got to
enjoy their smores and to the corner I had
a growing pile of coal like I was on some
naughty list. I followed the same recipe every
year, only to end up eating char again and
again, I thought I should pretend I burnt it
on purpose, and so I did, my smouldering
secret. It’s better than admitting I still don’t
know or that I am just incapable of doing it.
I’ll silently suffer through my frustrations, no
one will suspect anything. My pride tastes
better than the bitter marshmallows anyways.
My marshmallows and this secret burned
and burned for years, I became so good at
pretending, people would even give me their
accidental crispy marshmallows thinking I
loved them.
My teeth now dull, encrusted with charcoal
and a permanent smoky aftertaste stains me,
every swallow I am reminded of my continued
failure. And so, every year I’ll secretly try my
hardest to toast my marshmallows perfectly
like everyone else, deep down knowing that
it’s a luxury I can never afford. Every year my
fate never changes, the striking burnt smell
comes from my stick and my gut sinks like an
anchor, everyone will continue to think I like it
this way. I shouldn’t cry but tears quietly roll
down my eye, before the fire steams it away,
no one can know. I want what everyone can
so effortlessly do so bad, it’s so simple, ‘why
can’t I do it?’, I question myself over and over
as if I have the answers. But I always hold
the stick too close to the flame. This craving
of mine that will never be satisfied, my
stomach gnaws its teeth at the thought of it,
but all I can feed myself are purposely burnt
marshmallows.
38 39

THE PROBLEM
The problem, thought Ella, wasn’t that she didn’t know why it had happened,
but that she didn’t know what she was going to do about it.
It was one of those stifling hot summer nights in the middle of January, when no
amount of aircon or fans, let alone a failing ducted cooling system, could make it
pleasant to sleep. The curtains lay deathly still, a sure sign that the promised
southerly was yet to arrive.
Ella could feel Nick’s presence next to her and knew that if she wanted to, all
she’d have to do is shift her hand ever so slightly and she’d be able to touch his bare
back. Usually, on nights like these, when it was far too hot to touch, to have Nick so
close to her was comforting, a reminder of his steadying presence, the easy way in
which she loved him.
Tonight, though, the gap between them felt cataclysmic. The knowledge of him
next to her brought the feeling of unease that had become familiar to Ella over the
past 12 hours once again creeping up into the back of her throat. She should, she
knew, be glad he was even allowing her in his bed, but with him so close she
couldn’t escape replaying over everything that had happened in her mind.
Ella didn’t think she’d ever forget the way his face changed when he walked in
and found them there. The way it changed from his quiet grin to shock, the colour
draining from his face he turned and fled the room. If she looked now, Ella was fairly
sure that she might still find some congealed egg left over on the kitchen floor, still
there from when Nick had dropped the shopping on his way to get out of the kitchen
as fast as possible.
It had, ashamedly, taken Ella ten minutes to pull herself together and go after
Nick. She had expected him to be angry, but he had looked utterly broken, sat on
their shared bed, his whole body softly shaking.
She wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to start, what words to say.
It was as if the guilt had somehow climbed up into her mouth and grabbed a hold of
her tongue.
“Nick,” but her voice wasn’t loud enough.
“Nick,” he looked up at her, eyes red, face still pale.
“Nick, I’m…” she swallowed, still unsure of what to say. How to tell him, how to
explain all of this. It was too much to put into words.
“I’m sorry,” was what she settled on. “I’m so, so …” her voice broke.
The room fell silent, stayed that way for an uncomfortable moment. Ella tried
reaching forward to touch him, but he jumped up out of her way.
“My sister? Ella, why? Of all people, it had to be my sister?”
Once again, the room lapsed into silence.
“Nick, I’m sorry, I know –
“You know?” he laughed a little. “What do you know Ella?” Now he’d started to
sound angry.
“How I feel? Please, how could you possibly know how I feel right now.”
He’d started pacing, striding from one edge of the room to the other, Ella still
stood there unable to move. She had tried to speak again, but he interrupted her –
“No, no … I don’t want to hear it. Just. Jesus Ella, I was going to marry you.”
Ella had baulked at the statement. “Marry me? Nick, please, we’re only twentythree.”
It had been the wrong thing to say. He had stood still for a second, and then
wordlessly pushed past her, out the bedroom and out of the house.
He had not returned until 10 pm. He’d said barely a word to her when he
arrived back, simply stepping into the shower and then asking her, void of all
emotion whether she was coming to bed.
So here she was, lying beside him, unable to sleep, wondering what to do
about all of it. It wasn’t his fault that she loved both of them, she knew that. Falling in
love with Nick had been easy. She had expected it, it was the story that she knew.
Falling in love with Charlotte wasn’t something she had planned for. The first
time it happened she was on a camping trip with all four of Nick’s siblings. Everyone
else had gone to bed. Charlotte and Ella though, they had sat out there in the
freezing cold July night, their faces half lit by the dying fire, drinking from the same
bottle of wine, and talking for an eternity. As the night progressed, they started
shifting closer, and each time Charlotte’s arm brushed up against her own it was like
a jolt of electricity running through her body.
So different from the way Nick’s hands made her feel calm and assured.
When Charlotte leaned across and kissed her, Ella was surprised she kissed
her back, Nick laid sleeping soundly five metres away. She couldn’t stop herself
though – couldn’t stop herself from kissing back, from many more sleepless nights,
from hours of phone calls and text conversations, baring all of her deepest darkest
secrets to her boyfriend’s sister.
No, it was not Nick’s fault she loved them both. He was like the ocean on a
calm day – steady and gentle and warm. Something she could lay down in and float
gently, while the waves lapped softly up against the shore. He was centuries of
history and expectations bearing down on her so heavily she feared she might drown
if she let herself lean into it. Charlotte was like a bush fire that came to close to a
house. Dangerous and exciting, threatening to burn everything all down if she got too
close, and yet necessary for the trees surrounding the house to burst into new life.
And now she was faced with a choice, but it was an impossible choice. She
could not have one without the other, yet she could not bear to be without either of
them at all.
BY ANONYMOUS
40 41

Artwork by Spencer Slainey
42
Art by Spencer Slaney

LOT'S NOT
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Edition four, 2024 / Front cover art by Padvamashini