Uncle Andy's Digest - August 2024

UNCLE 

DIGEST 

ANDY’S 

Your local guide to... well, just about anything! 

AUGUST 

2024 

SINCE 1996 

REFLECTIONS 

AUTO AUTO CARE CARE 

Transforming every vehicle with 

30+ years of automotive excellence! 

SERVICES 

• Detailing 

• Rocker Pannel 

Replacement 

• Welding 

• Metal Polishing 

• NH Oil Undercoating 

• Fleet Washing 

• Auto Sales 

GIVE US 

A CALL TODAY 

207.576.5389 

512 Washington St. North, Auburn | reflectionsautocare.com | Mon. - Fri. 8am-5pm Sat. 8-12 

Ask About Our Free Med Cards 

25 Lisbon St. 

Lewiston 

207.740.9053 

207THC.com 

207-782-7113 

Technician 

Wanted 

Apply Within! 

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com 

Uncle Andy’s Digest 

UncleAndys.com 1

MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE 

We are celebrating our 30 TH 

anniversary 

in august 

We are bringing 

back our 64 oz 

steak challenge on 

Mondays in August! 

HAPPY 

ANNIVERSARY 

Join us for Facebook trivia 

every Friday 11am-9pm 

Check our Facebook posts for information about our celebration. 

We will be celebrating all month long in August! 

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com

What side of the dog has the most hair? The outside of course! 

We’re here for you 

Modern Woodmen of America continues to be strong and stable, even in these times of 

uncertainty. We’ve been around since 1883, standing strong through world wars, national 

disease outbreaks, depressions and recessions. 

Do you have questions or concerns about your financial plan, call today. We will continue 

to be here for you. 

MODERN WOODMEN 

OF AMERICA 

AUGUST 2024 

ACTIVITIES 

Tuesday, August 13th 

Fielder’s Choice 

4:00-7:00pm 

680 Minot Ave Auburn, ME 

Members: $3.00 

Guests: $3.50 

Purchase Tickets: 8-07-2024 

(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Thursday, August 15th 

Val’s Drive-In 

4:00-6:30pm 

925 Sabattus Street 

Lewiston, ME 


Guests: $8.00 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Paul Colasante* 

Lewiston, ME 04240 

207-782-8823 

Art Chamberlain* 


207-514-7003 

Mike 

Courtemanche* 


207-783-8921 

August 16th-August 18th 

Liberty Festival Food Booth 

Simard-Payne Park 


Guests: $8.00 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Richard 

Courtemanche 


207-786-3622 

Stacy Fortin 

Rumford, ME 04276 

207-357-5429 

Paul Gagne* 


207-576-3426 


Roy’s Breakfast 

7:00-10:00am 

5 Washington Street 

Auburn, ME 


Guests: $6.00 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Ted Heidrich* 


207-576-5656 

Ron Ouellette* 


207-786-3612 

Kim Pelkey* 


207-786-2573 

Wednesday, August 21st 

Dairy Joy 

3:00-7:00pm 

Auburn or Lewiston Location 


Guests: $2.50 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 


Taber’s 

4:00-7:00pm 

470 Lake Shore Drive 

Auburn, ME 


Guests: $11.00 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

n. 

* Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned 

subsidiary of Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC 

I found a book titled, How to Solve 50% of Your Problems, so I bought two. 

Reminder: Please do not call 

the restaurants. If you have 

a question, please call the 

office at 207-782-1833 or 

207-333-6052 and speak with 

Jamie. Tickets must be purchased 

at the MWA District 

Office at 184 Webster Street 

Lewiston on the dates/times 

listed for each activity. Menus 

are subject to change. No 

substitutions or add-ons. 

Most importantly - 

Have Fun! 




is published by the first Friday 

of every month by Lydia 

Media LLC with its world 

headquarters located at 2 

Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, 

Auburn, Maine, USA. 

Published and distributed 

since 1996 throughout 

Central Maine and mailed to 

subscribers all over the Free 

World. Subscriptions are 

$49 .95 /year. 

UncleAndys.com 

Office: 207-783-7039 

Our Team 

PAM 

ASHBY 

PUBLISHER 

STEVE 

SIMARD 

SALES 

STEPHANIE 

ASSELIN 

SALES 

Tornado Season tip of the day: Keep a hotdog in your pocket, 

that way the search dogs will find you first. 

DON’T BE 

AFRAID TO 

SMILE 

Call for a free 

Consultation 

• Full Dentures 

• Immediate Dentures 

• Partial Dentures 

• Rebases 

• Relines 

• Repairs 

Smile Again 

Dentures 

STEPHANIE 

ARSENAULT 

OFFICE 

MANAGER 

TOM HILL 

IT • WEB 

All work done on-site. 

Repairs usually same day service! 

TIM 

ELWELL 

GRAPHIC 

DESIGNER 

CARICATURES COURTESY OF 

J. ANTHONY FIORI 

While Uncle Andy’s Digest 

tries very hard to ensure the 

accuracy of the information in our 

clients’ advertisements and our 

publication in general, we are not 

responsible for vendor availability, 

typographical errors, technical 

Uncle inaccuracies, Andy’s product Digest pricing 

errors, or omissions. 

4 August 2024 

Mike 

Adkins, LD 

Cassandra 

Gagnon, LD 

Licensed Denturists 

801 Webster Street, Lewiston | 514-0660 

SmileAgainDentures.com | smileagaindentures@gmail.com 

The opposite of Ladyfingers is Mentos. 

Joe 

Adkins, LD

There’s No Place Like... 

Your one-stop 

shop for: 

• Amazing food 

(eat in or take out) 

• Agency liquor store 

with beer cave 

Agency Liquor Store & Beer Cave. 

• Lottery tickets 

• Redemption center 

Grab n’ Go Items Everyday! 

DONATE YOUR BOTTLES TO 

Fresh Green Mountain Coffee. 

WE CATER 

Full serve catering at the location of your choice. 

Help grant a wish to a local child 

battling a critical illness 

207-345-5551 

Dad’s Redemption Center 

BOOK YOUR 


CORPORATE 

EVENTS 

NOW! 

207-345-9009 

DadsPlaceCatering.com 

REDEMPTION CENTER 

6 ¢ 

on all 5¢ returns with this coupon. 

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place 

Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm 

(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays) 

(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) Uncle Andy’s UAD Digest exp. 8.30.24 

UncleAndys.com 5 

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com

One time I tripped walking through Paris. Eiffel over. 

Quality Products 

Reasonable Pricing 

It’s why 

we’re here. 

Always a call or click away! 

Call, click or stop by today. 

Let’s talk today! 

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.® 

CALL ME TODAY. 

30 years 

in business. 

Hats 

Now offering 

online stores 

Contractors 

and 

Landscapers 

See us for your 

Fall sports! 

Mugs 

Pens 

Pens 

Bags 

Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum. 

Call us for a quote TODAY! 

207-784-4184 

205 Washington St. South, Auburn 

coastaltshirts.com 

WE ARE HIRING! 

We are looking for someone 

that can help with; 

• Social Media 

• Web 

• Graphic Design 

Familiar with Adobe Creative Suite, 

Social Media preferred 

& will train on web basics. 

Interested? Email Pam Ashby at Pam@lydiamediallc.com or call 207-783-7039 



I had a date last night. Tonight I’ll try a fig.

My mailman is really bad at telling jokes, his DELIVERY is way off 

Game 

Over 

Submitted by Stephanie 

Arsenault 

A young boy, Jonathan 

enters a barber shop 

and the barber whispers 

to his customer, 

Benjamin, "This is the 

dumbest kid in the 

world. Watch while I 

prove it to you." 

The barber puts a 

dollar bill in one hand 

and two quarters in the 

other, then calls Jonathan 

over and asks, 

"Which do you want, 

son?" Jonathan quickly 

takes the quarters and 

leaves. 

"What did I tell you?" 

said the barber to Benjamin, 

"That kid never 

learns!" 

Later, when Benjamin 

leaves, he sees 

the same young boy 

coming out of the ice 

cream parlor. 

"Hey, son! May I ask 

you a question?" asks 

Benjamin. "Why did 

you take the quarters 

instead of the dollar 

bill?" 

Jonathan licked his 

cone and replied, "Because 

the day I take 

the dollar the game is 

over!" 

Elephants don’t use computers because they’re afraid of the mouse. 



Punch 

Submitted by Steve 

Simard 

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 

A guy asks a girl to 

go to a dance. She 

agrees, and he decides 

to rent a suit. The rental 

has a long line, so he 

waits and waits, and 

finally he gets his suit. 

He decides to buy flowers, 

so he goes to the 

flower shop. The flower 

shop has a long line, 

so he waits and waits, 

until he finally buys 

flowers. 

Jon 

Mercier 

Linda 

Dupuis 

Mark 

Turner 

Lindsay 

Wright 

Deb 

Morin 

Mason 

Dupuis 

He picks up the girl and 

they go to the dance. 

There is a long line into 

the dance, so they wait 

and wait. 

Finally, they get into 

the dance, and the 

guy offers to get the 

girl a drink. She asks 

for punch, so he goes 

to the drink table, and 

there is no punch line. 

Light bulb 


Arsenault 

How to write “I 

changed a light bulb” 

on your resume: 

“Single-handedly managed 

the successful 

upgrade and deployment 

of a new environmental 

illumination 

system with zero cost 

overruns and no safety 

incidents.” 

List/Sell • Buyer Agency • Design-Build • Turn-Key Package 

(No Construction Loan Needed in Most Cases) 

Dustin 

Mallar 

Malayka 

Harriman 

368 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.com 

Cows may come, and cows may go. But the bull around here stays forever. 

THE AMERICAN LEGION 

FAMILY 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays 

and get a surprise! 

“SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

Members & Guests Welcome! 

AMERICAN LEGION ACT 

Veterans who were honorably discharged 

but whose service did not fall into previously 

defined war eras may now join 

the American Legion immediately. The 

eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941, 

until a time when the U.S. is no longer at 

war, as determined by Congress. 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on 

Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

For Veteran or Community services, call 

207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229 

Hall Rentals Available 

Call for more 

information 

207-782-1118 

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118 

HOURS: Monday - Wednesday: 12pm-8pm • Thursday 12pm-9pm 

Friday: 12pm-11pm • Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm 

MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS 

FRIDAYS 7-11pm in August 

Jerry Joe - August 9th, 23rd • 4:30 - 6:30pm 

SUNDAYS 

Bloody Marys with Kevin 

LIVE MUSIC WITH 

LOOSE SCREWS 

AUGUST 24TH 

7-11PM 

STARTING JUNE 2024 

Membership dues will increase to $52 for 

2024-2025 - Due to national increase. 

NO SONS MEETING UNTIL SEPTEMBER 

MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21 ST 2024 

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6PM GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 7PM 

Legion Members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25 



Every 60 seconds in America, a minute passes.

I get a lot of calls from potential spam. I only like the real spam. 

Lifeguard 


Simard 

A lifeguard walks into a 

bar, the bartender comes 

over and says,"No one is 

in need of help here." 

Providing a warm & comfortable 

home for our residents. 

The lifeguard looks 

around and sees two old 

guys in the corner and 

says, "What about those 

two?" 

The bartender says," 

that's just TEX and AC, 

they're just drowning 

their sorrows!" 

Friends 


Simard 

The Chapman House 

Home for senior ladies 

The Chapman House has private rooms available for 

residents, aged 65 and older, who need assistance 

with bathing, medications, and meals. 

Call Bonnie to arrange a tour. 

Presently, I am trying 

to make friends outside 

of Facebook while 

applying the same 

principles. Therefore, 

every day I go down 

the street and tell the 

passers-by what I have 

eaten, how I feel, what 

I have done the night 

before and what I will 

do tomorrow night. 

Then I give them pictures 

of my family, my 

dog, and me gardening 

and spending time in 

my pool. I also listen 

to their conversations 

and tell them I love 

them. And it works! 

I already have three 

people following me... 

two police officers and 

a psychiatrist! 

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961 

Bonnie Iwans 

Me: Don’t be alarmed, but I think someone on this ship is an Owl. You: Who? 

Me: I knew it was you! 



Out and About 

at Roopers 

Squatch Open 

Is the female child of a pharmacist called a pharma’s daughter? 

at Martindale 

Country Club 

Sophia Asselin 

& Heather Toussaint 

Family Owned & operated 

Enjoy Your Summer Activites! 

Stephanie 

St. Laurent 

Roopers 

Grilling, Fishing, and Camping 

186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus, ME | 207.375.6253 | 2 Miles Off I-95 Exit 86 

Lids 


Arsenault 

Scientists recently 

placed a 10-piece set 

of matching Tupperware 

into a sealed 

chamber and buried it. 

When they unearthed, 

and opened the 

chamber one month 

later, it contained 24 

lids that did not match 

any of the 6 remaining 

containers. 

LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience! 

40 East Avenue, Lewiston | www.sea40me.com | 207-795-6888 

LIVE MUSIC 

EVERY WEDNESDAY 

7-9pm In Our Lounge 

8/7 - Heather Price 

8/14 - Sapphire Lane 

8/21 - Matt Fournier 

8/28 - Preston & Curry 



A caveman’s favorite beverage is CLUB soda, of course!

What would you say to a hitchhiker that had only one leg? "Hop in!" 

KLJ Excavation 

& Construction 

Out and About at 

Lewiston Auburn 

RiverFest 

Uplift LA Kickball 

Tournament 

Toby & Harper Grondin 

Prime 360 

Kirk Waterman Logging 

• Fully insured 

• Full Site work : 

from clearing 

to completion 

BJ Grondin 

Prime 360 

Jason Finoia 

Back In Motion 

Kirkwaterman@ymail.com | 207-890-8713 

110 Proctor Heights Dr. Waterford ME 04088 

Aurora Dacyczyn 

Fell off a 40' ladder yesterday, fortunately for me I was on the first rung, I'll be fine! 





RiverFest 


Tournament 

Mike Williams 

Craft Brew Underground 

Somebody asked me to name two structures that hold water. I said, “Well, dam.” 

Check out our in-store weekly ad for our 2024 specials! 

Roy’s 

FOODLAND 

SATURDAY 

Beans, bread/rolls & 

cole slaw 

$11.99 

WEDNESDAY 

Ham, Veggie, Salami, 

or Pepperoni Italians 

$3.49 

PIZZA PACKS 

Pizza 

Packs 

$12.99 

Visit us for your 

BBQ needs! 

Best Chicken & 

Ham Salad 

IN THE WORLD! 

Try our hamburger, 

it’s the best! 

Beanie Babies 

on Sale Here! 

70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471 

www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com 

Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed 

Gerard Gagnon 

Residential Friendly Dumpsters 

Rent a 

dumpster 

for Summer 

cleanup! 

Bin Sizes: 

6 yd. bin- 10’ long x 5.5’ wide - 3’ high 

10 yd. bin - 10’ long x 7’ wide - 4’ high 

14 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8 wide - 4.5’ high 

20 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8’ wide - 6’ high 

Dispatch 

Office: 207-224-0337 

Cell: 207-212-0736 

170 N. Daggett Hill Rd. 

Greene, ME 04236 

portlandme@bintheredumpthat.com 

Our Residential Friendly Design Includes 

Easy Load Double Rear Doors 

Driveway Protection Boards 

Dependable Friendly Service 

207-224-0337 

www.bintheredumpthatusa.com 

Mike Pietroski 

Kennebec Savings 

Bank 

Sarah Wanser 

Muriel celebrated... 

her 90th birthday with us 

and can't wait for the next party! 

The Meadows 

“Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center” 

A warm home-style assisted living center for self-sufficient seniors! 

We have availability starting at $1500 per month 

#433 RT. 202, P.O. BOX 629, GREENE • 946-3007 



Yeah, I pretty much never sit by the pool anymore. ~ Marco Polo

I got married so that I can be auto-corrected even when my phone is off. 

Summer 

is a great 

time to 

slow down 

& relax. 

New Services 

207-539-5128 | Oxford, Maine | Open 7 days a week | essencewellnessspa.com 

Poland Spring Golf Course 

& Mel’s Hilltop Restaurant 

Designed by Donald Ross, the golf course is an 

18-hole, par 71, championship layout. Enjoy velvet 

bent grass greens, well maintained fairways, and 

tees for all abilities. We also have a driving range, 

practice putting green, and golf school. 

Come enjoy the scenery and the great food at 

Mel’s Hilltop Restaurant before or after your 

round, or just to have fun! 

Call the Pro Shop at (207) 998-6002 for tee 

times and more information. 

www.PolandSpringResort.com 

- FOOT SOAK LOUNGE 

- INFRARED SAUNA 

- COUPLES MASSAGE 

Kevin 


Arsenault 

I just got back from 

Walmart and I have to 

share this! I found myself 

behind a grandfather 

and his badly-behaved 

grandson. He had his 

hands full with the child 

screaming for sweets, 

biscuits, all sorts of things. 

The granddad was saying 

in a controlled voice, 

“Easy, William, we won’t 

be long... easy boy.” 

Another outburst and 

I heard the granddad 

calmly say, “It’s okay 

William. Just a couple 

more minutes and we’ll be 

out of here. Hang in there, 

boy.” 

At the checkout the little 

horror was throwing items 

out of the shopping cart 

and Granddad says again 

in a controlled voice, “William, 

relax buddy, don’t 

get upset. We’ll be home 

in five minutes, stay cool 

William.” 

Well, I was really impressed, 

so I went outside 

to where the grandfather 

was loading his groceries 

and the boy into the car. 

I said to the Grandad, 

“It’s none of my business, 

but you were amazing in 

there. I don’t know how 

you did it! That whole time 

you kept your composure, 

and no matter how loud 

and disruptive he got, you 

just calmly kept saying 

that things would be okay. 

William is very lucky to 

have you as his granddad.” 

RoySnow.com 

207.782.3734 

Serving Maine since 1947 

11 Library Ave. 

Auburn 

“Thanks,” said the Granddad, 

“But I’m William. 

That little devil’s name is 

Kevin.” 

I was going to make alligator for dinner, but realized I only have a crock pot. 



Out and About 

at Roopers 

Squatch Open 

at Martindale 

Country Club 

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer selective participation. 

ALL 

STEAK 

HAMBURGERS 

& GOLF CENTER 

Eli St. Laurent 

5:00PM-8:00PM 

Famous Burgers • Hand-Cut Fries • Onion Rings 

Lobster Rolls • Crab Rolls • Ice Cream & More! 

MINI GOLF | DRIVING RANGE | BATTING CAGES | DISC GOLF 

RoysGolf.com 

2514 TURNER RD. AUBURN 

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 11AM - 8PM 

Come play our newly renovated 18-hole mini golf course! 

BIRTHDAY PARTIES & CORPORATE EVENTS AVAILABLE 

Coverage for 

Every Day 

Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts 

dedicated to protecting your assets. From risk consulting 

to claims support, we help you protect what matters most. 

John Blanchette, Sales Advisor | 207.784.9358 

john.blanchette@nfp.com 

Meg Dumais 

For your business. 

For your people. 

For your life. 

NFP.com 

681 Sabattus St., Lewiston, ME 04240 

Copyright ©2024 NFP. All Rights Reserved. 

Ken Grant 

Connor Turcotte 

& Brayden Bashaw 

WE DO SEPTICS 

Commercial, Residential excavation, & Site work 

Now 

scheduling 

for Fall 2024 

excavation 

projects! 

shawn@hirdcontracting.com | 207.754.2343 



If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't dissapear?

My brother worked at a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park near the place. 

Party pack 

Great for picnics, Parties, beach, 

camping & more 

our bbq can go wherever you go! 

Closed mondays 

memorial day through Labor Day 

Scan here to check out our catering options. 

120 Center St, Auburn | 207-241-0033 

Take us 

with you! 

I may have a memory problem, but fortunately I'm able to forget about it. 

Summer Special on Oil 

& Gas boiler cleanings 

Hours - Tuesday-Saturday 11am - 8pm 

Sunday 11am - 4pm 

Get Your Yearly 

Boiler Cleaning 

and Servicing 

DON’T WAIT! 

Mama Bear 


Arsenault 

In this life I’m a woman. 

In my next life, I’d 

like to come back as 

a bear. When you’re a 

bear you get to hibernate. 

You do nothing 

but sleep for six 

months. I could deal 

with that. 

Before you hibernate, 

you’re supposed to eat 

yourself stupid. I could 

deal with that too. 

When you’re a girl 

bear, you birth you 

children (who are 

the size of walnuts) 

while you’re sleeping 

and wake to partially 

grown, cute, cuddly 

cubs. I could definitely 

deal with that. 

If you’re mama bear 

everyone knows you 

mean business. You 

swat anyone who bothers 

your cubs. If your 

cubs get out of line, 

you swat them too. I 

could deal with that. 

If you’re a bear, your 

mate EXPECTS you to 

wake up growling. He 

EXPECTS that you will 

have hairy legs and 

excess body fat. 

Yup, I’m gonna be a 

bear! 

Cleanings Only $255.00 

*Plus materials if needed 

Give Us A Call today! 207-754-4556 

What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod. 



What do you call a spider with 10 eyes? A spiiiiiiiiiider. 

Scan here to 

send in your 

shout out for 

next month's 

issue! 

Shout out to my 

Momma! Keep kicking 

butt on your 

Masters-almost done! 

To the employees at 

Kennebec Equipment 

of Auburn - thanks for 

always knowing how to 

help! 

Sabattus Fire would like 

to Thank You Mike Noell 

for 20 years of service! 

Good luck in retirement! 

Thank you to the refs, 

Jenn and Stephen, in 

the Uplift LA Kickball 

tournament during the 

Riverfest! 

Forever my birthday 

boy on August 21st. 

Love you, Trevor! 

Congratulations on 

your engagement 

Courtney & Josh! 

Happy Birthday!!!! 

Dad Loves You!!!! 

Congratulations 

Brayden and Leah on 

your bundle of joy 

coming in October! 

24 Hour Service 

Proudly serving Auburn, 

Lewiston, and the surrounding 

235 N. River Road, Auburn 

207-777-5600 

www.pro-techrefrigeration.com | protechoffice11@yahoo.com 



I told my wife she needed to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

I got a thesaurus with blank pages. There are no words to describe how angry I am. 

HOME, AUTO, BUSINESS, & MORE 

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP 

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS 

I N S U R A N C E 

...Your Security is Our Concern! 

Locally Owned & Operated 

Lewiston Str ng 



RiverFest 


Tournament 

Matt Nason 

Androscoggin Bank 

150 East Ave. Lewiston | 207-783-2246 | 888-983-2246 

Visit our new location at: 243 Mount Auburn Ave., Suite C, Auburn 

How are all of your summer bodies looking? Mine is looking like I have a great personality! 

For any disaster, 

call ServiceMaster! 

Laura Wolfson 

Androscoggin Bank 

DON’T KNOW 

WHAT TO DO 

NEXT? WE DO. ® 

Derek Plourde 

Lee GMC 

WATER FIRE MOLD 

29 Brickyard Circle, 

Auburn 

(800) 244-7630 

(207) 539-4452 www.smfireandwater.com • www.smcarpetcleaning.com 

Matt Nadeau 

Modern Woodmen 

I’ve got pet peeves about some mechanical things. Fans blow and vacuums suck. 



Love 


Arsenault 

I went to lunch with 

friends and saw my 

husband at the restaurant. 

I was going to say 

his name, but he was 

staring at his phone 

so I watched him. He 

was smiling. He typed. 

Then my phone dinged, 

and it was a video 

he forwarded of a dog 

wresting a water hose. 

This is love! 

Traffic Camera 


Arsenault 

I was driving when 

I saw the flash of a 

traffic camera. I figured 

that my picture had 

been taken for exceeding 

the limit even 

though I knew I was 

not speeding. 

The most amazing display of cooperation in history is how 1,000 islands managed to 

come together and agree on a single dressing! 

Immediate 

openings for 

experienced 

licensed 

electricians 

Scan here to 

Apply Today! 

100% Employee Owned 

Join a Team That 

Values Its Members! 

I bought an alarm clock that insults me, “IT'S A RUDE AWAKENING!" 

Just to be sure, I went 

around the block and 

passed the same spot, 

driving even more 

slowly, but again the 

camera flashed. Now 

I began to think that 

this was quite funny, 

so I drove even slower 

as I passed the area 

once more, but the 

traffic camera again 

flashed. I tried a fourth 

and fifth time with the 

same results and was 

now laughing as the 

camera flashed while I 

rolled past at a snails 

pace. Two weeks later, 

I got five tickets in the 

mail for driving without 

a seatbelt on. 



What do you call an Elephant that doesn’t matter? An Irrelphant.

My friend told me she wouldn’t eat beef tongue because it came out of a cows mouth. 

So I gave her an egg. 

Tickets 

on sale 

now! 

46 Cedar St., Lewiston 

207-689-2000 

www.francocenter.org 

broadway 

will kick off our 25th season! Sept. 6 and 7 

Get your tickets today! 

Best ofbroadway 

Sneak peek at 2024-25 Events 

— La Rencontre will be back 4 times: 

September, December, March and June — 

— Crystal Vision Fleetwood Mac tribute 

concert Oct. 12 — 

— Sights & Sounds of Christmas returns in 

December — 

— We have many renters’ events including 

a Burlesque Show August 9 — 

Out and About 

at Roopers 

Squatch Open 

at Martindale 

Country Club 

Rich & Stephanie 

Asselin 

Who’s your 

caddy? 

ESCAPE ROOM $10 per person 

Reserve your group’s adventure at this 

link: https://bookeo.com/francocenter 

FRANCO CENTER 

Performing Arts & Events 

CATERING 

Rent our building! 

Call 207-333-3251 

Two stages • Versatile space 

• Full bar • Historic building 

Line Dancing 

includes instruction 

most Wednesdays at 10 a.m. 

August 7, 14, 21, 28 

Great Exercise! 

$5 per person 

No need to register! 

Walk-ins welcome! 

46 Cedar Street 

Lewiston 04240 

Parlez Vous? French 

Conversation Meet-ups 

Thursdays WWW.FRANCOCENTER.ORG at • 207-333-3251 10:30 a.m. 

August 8 and 22 

FREE and open to all! If you speak 

French, you’ll enjoy this meet-up. 

No need to pre-register. 

Squatch 

& Larry Roop 

The Envelope Challenge for Businesses has 

raised $5,771. Our goal is $80,200! We have a long 

way to go. Businesses and patrons who want to 

donate to support the Franco Center can find 

more information at www.francocenter.org. 

Alek St. Laurent 

My neighbor asked if he could use my lawn mower. I said, 

Sure, just don’t take it outta the yard! 



Taxi 


Arsenault 

A taxi passenger 

tapped the driver on 

the shoulder to ask 

him a question. 

The driver screamed, 

lost control of the car, 

nearly hit a bus, went 

up on the footpath, and 

stopped inches from a 

shop window. 

For a second, everything 

was quiet in the 

cab. Then the driver 

said, "Look, mate, 

don't ever do that 

again. You scared the 

living daylights out of 

me!" 

The passenger apologized 

and said, "I didn't 

realize that a little tap 

would scare you so 

much." 

The driver replied, 

"Sorry, it's not really 

your fault. Today is my 

first day as a cab driver 

— I've been driving 

a funeral van for the 

last 25 years." 

We are 

looking 

for new 

crew 

mates! 

Servers, Bartenders, 

Kitchen positions 

available 

Excellent 

pay for 

The early bird gets the worm, but the second rat gets the cheese. 

Relax and let us handle the stress 

Come in and try our delicious chicken parm! 

Our local’s 

Favorite 

besides our 

fried clams! 

skilled 

The Village Inn 

mates! 

207-782-7796 | 165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com | Open Wednesday - Sunday 

Out and About at Yarmouth Clam Festival 

No joke, 

I've been providing 

insurance since 1986. Check 

my spotlight on pg. 29! 

Pat “Patches” Penley, Rick “Boston Sports” Moylan, Joe “Doc Stitches” Cormier 

& Maintenance 

Helping keep your 

home healthy 

Home Tune-up Packages Available! 

We clean throughout homes 

Utility room, kitchen, bathrooms, laundry, 

garages, inside & outside your home. 

Drain cleanings to garage door sensors. 

Call us for a quote today! 

207-619-0868 



I don't understand why I got a parking ticket. The sign said, "FINE FOR PARKING".

Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog. 



RiverFest 

GROWING 

MAINE’S 

WORKFORCE 

The Center for Workforce and Professional 

Development at Central Maine Community 

College offers: 

Grant-funded critical workforce training 

that equips individuals with essential skills 

and knowledge for career development — 

FREE for Maine residents. 

Grant-funded and customized 

workforce training for businesses to 

meet their immediate needs in 

order to grow and thrive in an 

evolving economic environment. 

For course listings and more, visit: 

CMCC.EDU/WORKFORCE 


Tournament 

Tim Graham 

Modern Woodmen 

Workforce & Professional Development • Lapoint 107 

workforcedevelopment@cmcc.edu • (207) 755 - 5280 

Central Maine Community College does not discriminate and is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer. 

For more information, please call 207-755-5396 or email humanresources@cmcc.edu. 

Bowling alleys might be noisy but you can still hear a pin drop. 

Event sponsored by 

Join Rising Professionals 

and Employers from 

Across Maine for 

Resilience as a Foundation for Success: 

Empowering Rising Professionals 

Friday Sep 13 

7:30 AM - 5:30 PM 

Uplift LA is proud to host the 2024 Magnetize Maine 

Summit, with a day that showcases professional 

development on relevant topics, with incredible 

speakers & presenters; all while showcasing the 

Lewiston Auburn region. 

For more info 

scan here 

Libby 

Kate 

Maggie 

There’s 2 typos of people in this world. Those who always noticing spelling 

and grammatical errands, and them who doesn’t. 



Out and About 

at Roopers 

Squatch Open 

I've had complaints that all of my jokes are in English. So here's one in Spanish. Uno. 

at Martindale 

Country Club 

Jennifer Grace 

This event was 

Un-fore-gettable, in 

every way! 

What do you call a set of sprinklers that won’t cooperate? An irritation system. 

Nicole Desjardins 

Calling All Photographers! 

Hourly 

& Daily Rates! 

Studio 

Rental 

Call Now To 

Check Availability 

Kyle & Stefanie 

Lukeski 



207.783.7039 

2 Great Falls Plaza Ste. 1B, Auburn | LAMetroMagazine.com 

Whoever named it "parmesan cheese" and not "spaghetti confetti" 

missed a grate opportunity!

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, 

and you'd have no Idea. 

Eligible for Medicare? 

CALL US TODAY 

to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs. 

30+ 

Years of 

Experience! 

www.gippers.com • 207.786.0715 

Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston 

What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? 

I have no idea, but I wouldn’t try milking it. 

120 Center Steet Auburn 

Sunday - Wednesday 11am to 10pm 

Thursday - Saturday 11am to 11pm 

Book Your Event In Our 

Private Banquet Room. 

• Birthdays • Showers 

• Holiday Parties & More 

up to 75 people! 

Side effects of 

advertising with 

us may include: 

• Customer 

Awareness 

• Sense of 

community 

• Advantage over 

competitors 

• Increased sales 

and demand 

2 Great Falls Plaza Suite 1b, Auburn | 207.783.7039 | uncleandys.com 

Androscoggin 

County local heads 

to Mrs. American in 

Las Vegas! 

Maine educator, wife, 

and mother of three, Erin 

Hamlin was crowned Mrs. 

Maine American this past 

April in the annual Mrs. 

Maine America Pageant 

held in South Portland. 

She will head to Las 

Vegas in August to compete 

in the National Mrs. 

American Pageant. 

Erin is passionate about 

wellness and has shared 

her love of fitness, nutrition, 

and positive mindset 

with her community for 

over a decade. This July, 

she broke her personal 

record of teaching over 60 

fitness classes! 

Erin also spoke in July 

at the Annual Governor’s 

Opioid Summit held at 

CMCC as a Voice of 

Recovery Speaker. She 

is proud to be a voice 

and face of recovery and 

hopes that sharing her 

story of finding sobriety 

will inspire others and 

reduce stigma about substance 

use disorder. 

This month, Erin will lead 

a Kids’ Dance Party at the 

Mechanic Falls Community 

Day Event and throw 

out a ceremonial first pitch 

at the Sea Dogs Game. 

She is so grateful for the 

opportunity to participate 

in community events and 

loves sharing these experiences 

with her family. 

Connect with her on Facebook: 

Erin Uncle Houle Andy’s Hamlin Digest 


Team 


Arsenault 

Do you understand 

what matters is 

whether we win or lose 

together as a team?” 

After opening this month's electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark. 

Presented By 

The little boy nodded 

in the affirmative. 

“So,” the coach continued, 

“I’m sure you 

know, when an out is 

called, you shouldn’t 

argue, curse the umpire, 

or call him a jerk. 

Do you understand all 

that?” 

Again, the little boy 

nodded in the 

affirmative. 

The coach continued, 

“And when I take you 

out of the game so that 

another boy gets a 

chance to play, 

it’s not a stupid decision 

or that the coach 

is a butt head is it?” 

“No, coach.” 

“Good!”, said the 

coach. “Now go over 

there and explain all 

that to your grandmother!” 

Blinker 



Auction: 2024 GOLF September FORE KIDS’ 25, 2024 SAKE 6 REGISTRATION 

pm 

Business Name: ______________________________________ 

Tournament: September 26, 2024 8 am 

Contact Name: _______________________________________ 

Poland Springs Resort Golf Club 

Email:_________________________Phone:________________ 

Poland Springs, ME 

Presented By 

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9/25/24 | 6pm 

Tournament: 

9/26/24 | 8:30am 

Address:____________________________________________ 

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Player 1: __________________________________HCP:______ 

Player 2: __________________________________HCP:______ 

Player 3: __________________________________HCP:______ 

2024 GOLF FORE KIDS’ SAKE REGISTRATION 


Arsenault 

DID YOU KNOW? 

Now, many people 

don't know this, but 

your car has a secret 

device on it called an 

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at your steering column, 

you’ll find a secret 

stick, which will activate 

a flashing orange light 

Player 4: __________________________________HCP:______ 

GOLF WITH US TO SUPPORT MAINE 

Business Name: ____________________________ 

CHILDREN FACING ADVERSITY! 

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FOURSOME Only - $ 800 | includes all challenges 

Email: ___________________________________ 

For more Information or to register: 

on the outside of your 

car. It flashes to let other 

drivers know which 

direction you’re thinking 

of going. 

66 Elm St. Ste. 100, Camden, ME 04843 

Phone: __________________________________ 

207.860.0356 | fax: 207.236.2292 | rebeccakurtz@bbbsmidmaine.org 

All I’m saying is, at any point during the ride through the desert, he could have 

given the horse a name. 

Address: _________________________________ 

City: _________________ ST _____ ZIP ________ 

Jo 

SP 

PRES 

Includ 

signa 

recog 

MAJ 

Includ 

signa

I’m reading a horror story in braille—something is about to happen, I can feel it. 

Come watch 

the game 

with us! 

Open Daily 

11am-9pm 

Out and About 

at Just In Time 

Bowling Alley 

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Good Neighbor Event 

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TUESDAY 

WEDNESDAY 

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Walnut Chicken 

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Be kind to everyone you meet. You do not know their battles. 

They might have a teenager at home. 

THE GAHS GOLDEN 

PAW AWARDS 

Awards 

Silent Auction 

Comedy 

Dinner & Drinks 

Special 

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by Julia Gagnon! 

Thursday September 12th, 2024 

Awards Silent Auction Comedy Dinner & Drinks 

5:00pm - 9:00pm 

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Get Your 

Tickets Today 

THE GAHS 

GOLDEN PAW AWARDS 

Thursday, September 12th, 2024 

Lisa Laliberte 

5:00pm- 9:00pm 

Dinner buffet by 

& Lindsey Henderson Photobooth 

Royal Oak Room, Lewiston 

Grazi To Go! 

and fun! 

Get Your Tickets Today to Benefit 

the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society 

www.gahumane.org/goldenpawawards 

The Greater Androscoggin Humane Society | www. gahumane.org/goldenpawawards 

Kimmy Sloan 

& Kaitlynn Birney 

Sam Francis 

If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it? 



CALL THE PROS 

EVERGREEN 

CUSTOM PRINTING, INC. 

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PRINTING 

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Carbonless forms • Envelopes 

Business Cards & More! 

Coach Terry’s 

REDEMPTION 

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our backpack 

of school supplies 

give away! 

2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn 

Info@evergreencustomprinting.com 782-0525 

Accounting 

& Tax 

Service You 

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Certified Public Accountant 

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for Individuals and Business 

P.O. Box 895 | 207.782.1040 

2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B | Auburn, ME 04212 

Benefits include: 

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Add 4 Months to Your 

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• Swimming • Snorkeling • Scuba • Water-ski 

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Get A Free Quote! 

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Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services 

Mike Magretto 207-530-8890 

Veteran Owned & Operated 

EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 

Give us a call! 

783.7039 

2 great falls plaza suite 1b, Auburn 



Always wash your mouth out with soap and water, my mother swears by it.

CALL THE PROS 

Lincoln Street 

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Family owned & operated since 1967 

WARM WEATHER IS HERE! 

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sure you’re prepared! 

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RON’S 

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YOUR FULL SERVICE 

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Summer is HERE! 

Get ready for your next road trip 

Tires & State Inspections Available! 

515 Gardiner Rd, Wales 

375-4924 

We specialize in domestic 

car & truck, automatic 

& manual transmissions, 

transfer cases & differentials. 

Ron Charpentier Jr. 

Owner 

PREPARE FOR 

HUNTING SEASON. 

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+Accessories 

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207-712-2765 realcleanllc.com Serving Maine 

Your trusted, 

nonprofit resource 

for assistance 

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Medicare counseling • Caregiver support 

Educational programming • Meals on Wheels 

seniorsplus.org • 207-795-4010 

It’s ok if you don’t know what a prefix is… It’s not the end of the word. 



+ 

My boss said he was going to start firing employees with bad posture. 

I have a hunch I might be first. 

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Sadly I do my best proofreading after I hit send.

BUSINESS 

SP TLIGHT 

Richard Moylan 

(207) 777-0050 

791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn 

richardmoylan@allstate.com 

Insurance and coverages subject to terms. 

qualifications and availability. Allstate Property 

and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire 

and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, 

Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company 

Let us SCOOP the poop! 

Scoop 4Paws 

Professional Pooper Scoopers 

LA’s Newest Real 

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M A 

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E X P E R 

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www.tmree.com 

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text your 

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WANTED 



RiverFest 


Tournament 

Bob 

Rolling In The Dough 

Call 207-713-1550 or 

message us on Facebook 

Call us 

for a free 

estimate! 

Cleanings for: 

Property Management 

Commercial/ Office 

Post Construction 

Rental Turn Over 

207-713-1550 

Get The latest 

copy first! 

Buying entire collections. 

Will come to you! 

207.518.3644 

outtaspacecomics@gmail.com 

207-782-7141 

Lisa 

Rolling In The Dough 

Soccer 


Arsenault 

Yesterday after his 

soccer game, my 6 

year old asked me how 

come the other team 

gets to change the 

color of their jerseys 

every week, while he 

always has to wear 

purple. When I explained 

that, in fact, we 

were playing different 

teams each week his 

mind was blown! 

207-782-7141 

Better Pizza, Bigger Smiles 

Does anyone think surfers go to boarding school? 



I live in the South....where Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers. 

Delivery + Installation 

Specializing in Generators 

Dont Wait To 

Line Up Your 

Propane 

Delivery For 

The Winter! 

Follow us! 

207.810.3433 | strongpropaneservices.com 

CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER 

NOW IS THE TIME TO CHECK OUT OUR INVENTORY OF 2024 RV’S. 

Jayco- High Quality Design 

& Award Winning Rv’s. 

Visit us! 

Experience what camping can offer! 

848 Main Street, Oxford • 207-539-4410 • www.callofthewildrv.com 

Enjoy Some 

Great Food 

On Our Deck! 

85 Center Street, Auburn 

207-784-8221 | 11a-9p daily 

Fresh Frozen 

Craft Custard 

Premium Soft Serve 

CHECK OUT OUR 

WEBSITE FOR 

WEEKLY FLAVORS! 

THELOGYARDDAIRYBAR.COM | 1184 Maine St, Poland, ME 

Main Street 

Music Lessons 

WELCOMING NEW STUDENTS 

FOR IN PERSON LESSONS! 

• LESSONS 

• REPAIRS 

• SALES 

• RENTALS 

207-376-3376 

Fresh Food • Outdoor Seating 

Pasta Salad 

LA’S #1 STOP FOR ALL 

YOUR MUSIC NEEDS! 

33 Dunn Street, Auburn | mainstreetmusiclessons.com 

Serving 24 flavors 

of Soft Serve 

Ice Cream 

Shuga Shak Country Store 

Now Selling Maine Lobster 

Live or cooked 

Poisson & Sons Auto Care 

260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144 

FULL SERVICE GAS STATION 

AUGUST 2024 

STICKERS ARE DUE! 

Open Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5p 

Maple Baked 

Beans every 

Saturday! 

Wine • Local Products 

Honey • Pickles • Jams 

Candies • Crafts... 

and much more! 

450 Pigeon Hill Road | (Rte 26), Mechanic Falls | 207-576-7886 

Gas so 

good it 

will make 

you smile! 

Summer Car Care Tips: 

• Change your oil 

• Check: Tires/pressure, fluids, whiper blades, 

hoses & belts, AC, brakes, and Battery. 

The proud 

publisher of 

TWO local 

magazines! 

UNCLEANDYS.COM | LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM 

2 GREAT FALLS PLAZA, SUITE 1B, AUBURN | 207.783.7039 



So apparently I'm the reason I'm broke. I'm shocked and confused.

Junk: something you keep for years, then throw away two weeks before you need it. 

Live Music 

Every Sunday 

Our Famous 

Sunday Blues Jam 1-5pm 

61 Portland Rd. • 

207-657-7973 

• 

Gray, Maine 

OPEN 7 DAYS 

A WEEK! 

TWO Pool Tables, 

Buck Hunter 

& Golden Tee Golf 

Hours: Mon-Fri: 3pm-Close | Sat: 1pm-1am or close | Sun: 1-5pm • TailgateBarAndGrill.biz 

Out & About 

At Lewiston Auburn 

RiverFest 

TEAM LYDIA MEDIA 

A Long Wait 


Arsenault 

Once upon a time 

there was a prince 

who talked too much. 

He would just talk and 

talk and talk without 

ever listening. 

His fairy godmother 

got so fed up that 

she cast a spell that 

meant he could only 

speak a single word 

each year. If he didn’t 

speak for the entire 

year, the following 

year he could say two 

words. 

One day the prince 

fell in love with a 

beautiful princess 

from a neighbouring 

realm. He waited a 

whole year just to be 

able to say her name. 

But by then he was 

deeply in love, so he 

refrained from speaking 

for three more 

years so he could tell 

her he loved her. 

Jhanae Laplante, John Sullivan, Tim Elwell, Dan Coleman, Pam Ashby, Justin Cocroft, 

Liss Gagnon, Dave Perlman, Pete Gagnon, and Kevin Morissette 

In Memory of Trevor Saunders 

Trevor loved his 

animals and would 

have adopted all the 

cats and dogs 

at the shelter 

if he could. 

We are honoring his memory and his love for 

pets by asking those who can donate in his 

name to the Greater Androscoggin Humane 

Society. Scan the code below and put 

“In memory of Trevor Saunders.” 

Greater Androscoggin Humane Society 

Scan here 

to donate 

55 Strawberry Avenue, Lewiston | 207.783.2311 | gahumane.org 

If you’re shopping and find something you like, buy a lifetime of it 

before they stop making it! 

But by the time the 

three years were up 

he decided he wanted 

to marry her, so he 

waited for four more 

years. 

Finally, after eight 

years, he took her 

to the most romantic 

spot in the kingdom, 

got down on one knee 

and said, “Eleanor, 

I love you! Will you 

marry me?” 

And the princess said, 

“Pardon?” 



| EVENTS | 

AUGUST 

Amanda Martin 

August 2 

Bates Dance Festival 

Tribe 

Black Hole-Trilogy & Triathlon 

At Schaeffer Theatre 

August 2 & 3 

Mechanic Falls 

Community Days 2024 

108 Mechanic Falls Rd. 

Mechanic Falls 

FMI: Mechanicfallscommunitydays@gmail.com 


Heather Price 

Sea 40 

40 East Ave. Lewiston 

7-9pm 

207.795.6888 


1st Annual Bob & Lucy 

Violette Fundraising 

Tournament 

Just-In-Time Recreation 

24 Mollison Way Lewiston 

9am 

Justin & Neville 

Campbell 

Cote Moen 




CMCC Workforce Course 

EPA 608 Refrigerant 

$195 

9a-3p 

www.cmcc.edu 

Pack the Truck Event for 

Pink Feather Foundation 

Mechanic Falls Community Days 

108 Lewiston Rd. Mechanic Falls 

www.pinkfeatherfoundation.org 


Sunset Yoga 

6:30 – 7:30pm | $15 

Ricker Hill Orchards 

EmmaSamsonYoga@gmail.com 


Cruise Night-Every 

Tuesday Night! 

Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers and 

Golf Center 

2514 Turner Rd. Auburn 

5-8pm 

207.782.2801 


Adults Try-it Pottery 

Wheel Class 

Moon Stone Pottery 

186 Turner St. Auburn 

6-8pm | $50 

Facebook: moonstonepotteryme 

Stephanie Asselin, Steve Simard, Maureen Heath & Pam Ashby 


Matt Devlin 

Great Falls Comedy Club 

34 Court St, Auburn 

7:30pm 

greatfallscomedyclub.com 

August 9 & 10 

LCT Presents “The Prom” 

Community Little Theatre 

30 Academy St. Lewiston 

7:30-9:30pm 

www.laclt.com/box-office-1 


Matthew Closson 

Memorial Scholarship 

Fundraiser 

Lost Valley 

200 Lost Valley Rd. Auburn 

4-9pm 


Dan Crohn 

Great Falls Comedy Club 

34 Court St, Auburn 

7:30pm 

greatfallscomedyclub.com 


Sunset Yoga 


6:30 – 7:30pm | $15 


Erica Brown 

& the Bluegrass Connection 

in the Gazebo 

Poland Spring Resort 

640 Maine St. Poland Spring 

6:30pm with $5 admission 

207.998.4142 

Sunset Yoga 


6:30 – 7:30pm | $15 



Sapphire Lane 

Sea 40 


7-9pm 

207.795.6888

| EVENTS | 

Tom Gosselin, Andy Ouellette, 

Ryan Boucher, & Austin Gayton 


August 16-18 

L/A Balloon Festival 2024 

Simard-Payne Park 

46 Beech St. Lewiston 

www.laballoonfestival.me.canva. 

site/labf 


Blues Jam Marty & 

Friends 

Tailgate Bar & Grill 

61 Portland Rd, Gray 

1-5pm 

207.657.7973 


Limitless Wrestling 

“Vacationland Cup ‘24” 

The Colisee 

190 Birch St. Lewiston 

7pm | $20-$40 

Colisee.com | 207-7832009 


Glen Da Coasta 

Reggae Sunday on the patio 

120 Mill St. lewiston 

12-3pm 

FMI- The Pub At Baxter Facebook 


Sunset Yoga 


6:30 – 7:30pm | $15 


CMCC Workforce Course 

Fiber Optics 

$800 Attendance Stipend 

Four week course begins 

FREE 

www.cmcc.edu 


Matt Fournier 

Sea 40 


7-9pm 

207.795.6888 


Baxter Beer Games 

at Lost Valley 

Lost Valley 

200 Lost Valley Rd. Auburn 

5:30pm 


Inside Wants Out Live 


61 Portland Rd. Gray 

8pm-12am 

207.657.7973 


Parrothead Night! A 

Jimmy Buffett Tribute 

Featuring Uke’n’Smile 

The Pub At Baxter 

130 Mill St. Lewiston 

6:00-11:00pm 

207.440.7800 

Loose Screws 

American Legion Post 153 

73 S Main St, Auburn 

7-11pm 


LA Bridge Run 

Greater L-A Triple Crown 5k Series 

12 Riverside Dr. Auburn 

8:30am | $30 

RaceWire.com 

Barks & Brews 

Greater Androscoggin Humane 

Society 

55 Strawberry Ave. Lewiston 

11:30-4:30 

207.784.6421 

Blues Jam Marty & 

Friends 


61 Portland Rd, Gray 

1-5pm 

207.657.7973 


The World Famous 

Grassholes in the Gazebo 

Poland Spring Resort 

640 Maine St. Poland Spring 

6:30pm with $5 admission 

207.998.4142 


Acoustic Open Mic 

Obscura Café & Drinkery 

108 Lisbon St. Lewiston 

6:00-8:00pm 

www.obscuramaine.com 

August 26-31 

Ice Cream Scavenger Hunt 

Auburn Public Library 

49 Spring Street, Auburn 

All Day 

auburnpubliclibrary.org 


Preston & Curry 

Sea 40 


7-9pm 

207.795.6888 


Big Bounce 

Run Maine, 2024 

Hemond’s MX & Offroad Park 

695 Woodman Hill Rd. Minot 

8am | $32-$69 

bigbouncerun.com 

Scott Whalen 

& Leo Andelides 

Stephanie Arsenault & 

Marcello Marciuliano 

ADVERTISERS GET 2 FREE 

EVENTS TO PUT 

ON THE CALENDAR. 

NON-ADVERTISERS 

$25 PER EVENT. 

BILLING@UNCLEANDYS.COM 

OR CALL 207-783-7039 

ASK FOR STEPHANIE 

Send us your events for September by August 23rd. Call 207.783.7039 or email: billing@LydiaMediaLLC.com 



Directory of Advertisers 

AUTOMOTIVE 

Armand’s Autobody................... C 

www.armandsautobody.com 

Lincoln St Radiator..................27 

www.lincolnstreetradiator.com 

Poisson & Sons Auto Care......30 

207.782.9144 

Ron’s Transmission..................27 

207.375.4924 

Reflections Auto Care.............. C 

207.576.5358 

BANKING SERVICES 

Community Federal Credit Union 16 

www.communitycreditunion.com 

Dirigo Federal Credit Union..27 

www.dirigofcu.com 

CONSTRUCTION & EXCAVATION 

Hird Contracting......................14 

207.754.2343 

KJL Excavation & Construction 11 

207.890.8713 

DENTISTS & DENTURES 

Smile Again Dentures................4 

www.SmileAgainDentures.com 

DISPENSERIES 

207 THC...................................... C 

www.207THC.com 

Mystique of Maine.................BC 

www.mystiqueofmaine.com 

EDUCATION SERVICES 

Central Maine Community College 21 

www.cmcc.edu/workforce 

Magnetize Maine......................21 

Main Street Music Lessons....30 

www.mainestreetmusiclessons.com 

ELECTRICAL 

DeBlois Electric, Inc................18 

www.debloiselectric.com 

Roy I. Snow, Inc........................13 

www.RoySnow.com 

ENTERTAINMENT 

Outta Space Comics.................29 

207.518.3644 



Franco Center............................19 

www.francocenter.org 

Poland Spring Golf Course & Mel’s 

Hilltop........................................13 


Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine..........10 

www.sea40me.com 

Tailgate Bar & Grill.................31 

www.TailgateBarAndGrill.biz 

FINANCIAL SERVICES 

Modern Woodmen of America. 3 

www.modern-woodmen.org 

FOOD & BEVERAGE 

Burnt Ends Barbeque...............15 

www.burntendsmaine.com 

Dads Place & Catering..............5 

www.dadsplacemaine.com 

Firehouse Grill.........................BC 

www.firehouseauburn.com 

George’s Pizza...........................29 

www.georgespizza.com 

The Log Yard Dairy Bar.........30 

www.thelogyarddairybar.com 

Gipper’s......................................23 

www.gippers.com 

GridIron Restaurant................25 

www.gridironrestaurant.com 

Mac’s Grill...................................2 

www.MacsGrill.com 

Pat’s Pizza Auburn....................30 

www.patsauburn.com 

Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers & Golf 

Center.........................................14 

www.RoysGolf.com 

Roy’s Foodland..........................12 

www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com 

Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine..........10 

www.sea40me.com 

Tailgate Bar & Grill.................31 

www.TailgateBarAndGrill.biz 

Shuga Shak Country Store......30 

207.576.7886 

Tabers on the Lake....................7 

www.tabersgolf.com 

The Village Inn-Auburn..........20 

www.villageinnmaine.com 

GOLF & RECREATION 

Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise.26 

207.784.7300 

Call of the Wild RV Center...30 

www.callofthewildrv.com 

Poland Spring Golf Course & Mel’s 

Hilltop........................................13 


Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers 

& Golf Center...........................14 

www.RoysGolf.com 

Tabers on the Lake....................7 

www.tabersgolf.com 

HEALTH & WELLNESS 

Essence Wellness Spa LLC.....13 

www.essencewellnessspa.com 

LA Massage...............................27 

www.lamassagemaine.com 

ME Massage..............................26 

www.memassagetherapy.com 

HEATING & PLUMBING 

Heat Pumps of Maine.............. C 

www.heatpumpsofmaine.com 

HVAC Solutions 207................26 

www.Hvacsoultions207.com 

Pro-Tech Refrigeration...........16 

www.pro-techrefrigeration.com 

UPI..............................................15 

207.754.4556 

Strong Propane.........................30 

207.810.3433 

HOME IMPROVEMENT 

Sturdy Hardware.......................10 

www.sturdyhardwareme.com 

INSURANCE 

Andy Valley Insurance & 

Retirement.................................29 

www.agents.horacemann.com/AVIR 

Champoux Insurance...............17 

888.983.2246 

Lisa Laliberte-State Farm.........6 

207.783.3332 

NFP Insurance..........................14 

207.784.9358 

Richard Moylan-Allstate.........29 

207.777.0050


el’s 

MISCELLANEOUS 

Fine Line Gun Shop.................27 

207.998.2374 

LA Metro Chamber of Commerce 22 

www.lametrochamber.com 

Magnetize Maine......................21 

Outta Space Comics.................29 

207.518.3644 

William J. Rogers Post #153...8 

207.782.1118 

PET 

Androscoggin Humane Society 25,31 

www.SavingPetsInMaine.org 

Scoop4Paws...............................29 

207.713.1550 

PRINT & PROMOTIONAL 

WIGY Radio.............................18 

www.wigyradio.com 

PROFESSIONAL CLEANERS 

Bin There Dump That.............12 

www.binhtheredumpthatusa.com 

Collaborative Cleaners............29 

207.713.1550 

Emerald Janitorial....................26 

www.EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 

Real Clean..................................27 

www.realcleanllc.com 

ServiceMaster Restore............17 

www.smfireandwater.com 

REAL ESTATE 

Debbie Bodwell-Guild Mortgage BC 

207.754.3962 

REDEMPTION CENTERS 

Coach Terry’s Redemption Center 26 

207.225.2008 

Roopers Beverage & Redemption 35 

www.roopersbeverage.com 

Dads Place & Catering..............5 

www.dadsplacemaine.com 

RETIREMENT 

Andwell Health Partners.........27 

www.andwell.org 

The Chapman House Assisted 

Living ...........................................9 

207.783.0961 

Seniors Plus ..............................27 

207.795.4010 

The Meadows Senior Living..12 

207.946.3007 

Coastal T-Shirts..........................6 

www.coastaltshirts.com 

Evergreen Custom Printing...26 

207.782.0525 

Maine Real Estate Experience. 29 

www.themainerealstateexperience.com 

Maine Source Realty..................8 

www.mainesourcehomes.com 

WASTE MANAGEMENT 

Bin There Dump That.............12 

www.binhtheredumpthatusa.com 

Neokraft Signs..........................10 

www.neokraft.com 

Upfront Home Inspections.....20 

www.upfronthome.me 

C - front cover | IFC - inside front cover | BC - back cover | IBC - inside back cover 

Thank you to all of our sponsors 

for another great year!! 

Scan for full list of sponsors 

301 Main St., Auburn | 783.9098 

545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047 

980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072 

794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353 

686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200 

1420 Lisbon St., Lewiston | 333.3095 

The Party Starts 

at Roopers! 



BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey 

August Special 

Tipsy Mermaid 

You’ll Love 

our Daily 

Specials! 

Monday - Saturday 

11a - 9p 

207-376-4959 • 47 Broad Street, Auburn • www.firehouseauburn.com 

RECREATIONAL 

CANNABIS 21+ 

OUTLET STORE 

First Time Customers 15% Off 

First Time Customers 15% OFF 

43 Mystique Way, Auburn | 207.245.2645 

43 Mystique Way, Auburn 207-245-2645 

MystiqueOfMaine.com 

MystiqueOfMaine.com 

For use by adults 21 years of age and older. 

For questions or concerns call 207.245.2645 

F oF r o r u us e s e b y b y a da du ul tls t s 2 12 1 y ey ae ra s r s o f o f a ga ge e a na nd d o lo dl de r. e r. L iL ci ec ne ns e s e # # AAM MS 7S 87 08 . 0 . F oF r o r q qu ue se ts ito i no ns s o r o r c oc no nc ec re nr ns s c oc no nt at ca t c t 2 02 70 -7 2- 42 54 -5 2- 62 46 54 5 

Second Visit location our at 745 745 Forest Forest Ave., Ave., Portland Portland | 207.815.8524 store | as AMS well. 

117, MJ-872341-2021 

207-815-8524. AMS 117, MJ-872341-2021 

RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family 

We are stronger together 

Debbie Bodwell 

NMLS# 280336 

Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net 

181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210 

207.754.3962 

Lic.# AMS780 

I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 

Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. 



UncleAndys.com 

36 August 2024

Uncle Andy's Digest - August 2024

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