#9102 - Mar 1991

14 KENSINGTON COMMON The Kensington Market Drum, March 1991
The Maple Leaf for Breakfast
by Bob the Waiter
The historian had become tired
and just a little drunk.
Outside of the Cafe far below
the grey winter sky, hollow
boned Chinese women are
spreading their arms; parkas
billowing with wind they sail
up the street. Bright African
yellow oranges are blown off
the vegetable stands and roll
sun hot hissing into the slushy
gutter.
The Mediterranean produce
vendors are wearing their r
. mirrored sunglasses to protest
the winter sleet blowing just
past their noses-to reflect back
inside all the sea blue memories
of sun they save; to energize
themselves so they can
jump over houses and hHls,
demonstrating life in Canada
to their relatives when they go
back home on vacation.
Vacat ion .... some days everyone
around here wishes they were
someplace else. The Quebecois
historian and I have been
discussing separatism and more
separatism until both our heads
ache. The salad has a headache,
the waiter and the cutlery
have headaches and if we
discuss it much more I'm going
to spend the night in a bottle of
aspirin.
The point at which my head
starts to ache is this: that
according to the historian
Quebec has been pouting in its
. room since 1759 and is presently
packing everything into its gym
bag a:1d is about to slide down
the drainpipe in order to set up
shop in the backyard. I
shouldn't be surprised at all. It
was Sir John A. MacDonald
who first moaned long and loud
that Canada was impossible to
govern. It's only to be expected
that our oldest part should be
the most likely to break first.
Quebec has every reason to
feel like the odd man out in
Confederation.
Separated from the rest of
Canada by the barrier of language
mostly, Catholic Quebec
and Protestant English Canada
have lived under the terms of
an unintegrated truce since
Confederation and all the best
efforts of successive
governments to integrate and
harmonize this nation have
missed the mark.
Quebecers feel unloved and
unwanted by the rest of Canada.
Years of misunderstanding and
sterotyping by both sides have
left Canadians living in a house
of strangers.
Our government official
bilingual policy of the last thirty
years has not worked. Outside
of Quebec the majority of Canadians
are simply not
bilingual.
Typical of our relationship is
the fact that as recently as the
1950's Montreal hotel
employees could be fired for
speaking French in front of
English speaking guests,-this
ana countless parallel situations
weigh heavily on the mind of
Quebec.
But whoa .... wait a minute
headache time ... when I lived
in Alberta I generally found
Albertans amazed at the
prefer~nce given to Quebec by
politicians during election time.
Not only is Quebec considered
a have not-province, thus the
recipient of the considerable
federal funded equalization
payments, but, due to federal
government language requirements
our civil service and
armed forces are top heavy with
French Canadians.
Unfortunately the disproportion
of population in this
country which politically
favours the thickly settled east
leaves many western Canadians
feeling like they are living under
the political/economic domination
of Quebec.
Our Federal government's
official bilingual policy-is the
heel of the boot for many
western Canadians who feel
galled at being forced to pay
millions of $'s per year to offer
duplicate language service
during tough times for their tiny
French speaking population.
Left to themselves, Albertan
parents will camp out overnight
to pre-register their children in
French Immersion classes but
anything shoved down from
~
"
!
$'
~
-a
- ~
above causes bitter resentment.
Canada is being governed to
death. Decades of dangerous
deficit spending by
governments trying to grease
every squeaky wheel which can
vote in this unwieldly nation
left us with a national debt that
may turn us into a western industrialized
slum. This country
in its present configuration
cannot afford itself.. Our
country no longer works.
We need profound redistribution
of power down from the
top.
The independence stirrings
of Quebec do us a great service
in bringing us a unique
opportunity to re-confederate
our nation into a mor.e
manageable whole.
Much of the business presently
handled by Ottawa could
be conducted better by the
Provinces and municipal
governments could assume
power over areas that affect
them the most.
Maybe we should become a
series of confederated semiautonomous
republics like
Switzerland or the United
States.
A federal government
empowered with protecting the
rights of all citizens enshrined
in a bill of rights, defence, the
post office, international trade
and maintaining national standards
for those social programs
the regions elect to maintain is
much more desirable to me than
our present big brother from
afar federal systems.
The most depressing aspect
of our political system is the
fact that government can irresponsibly
tax us and then spend
us into debt. The Government
should be restrained by law
from deficit spending.'
Once during a tour of the
Parliament building in Ottawa
our tour group was ushered into
the office of a politician (whom
will remain nameless).
We were treated to a demon-·
stration of his new $90,000
computerized desk. A $90,000
computerized desk!!! The son
of a bitch even had it set up on
a six inch high podium so any
visitor had to look up at him.
I'd feel better served as a
taxpayer if he was using an old
door set on top of two garbage
cans.
I don't think Qut:,bec could
make it financially as a separate
country. If Quebec splits
the scene they will be burdened
with almost a one hundred
billion dollar national debt!
Great, a northern Brazil.
Hey, Mr. Parizeau what are
you going to print on your new
currency?, this note is legal
tender and backed by maple
syrup?
That group of right wing
muffin dealers with Donald.
Trump sized egos that passes
for Quebec's new entrepreneurial
class may find that
running a country is a bit more
difficult than "flipping"
snowcones at the all night 7-11.
So in a few months if you're
the last one home, switch on the
porch light and chances are
you'll see Quebec sitting at the
end of the driveway with its
thumb in its mouth wondering
what's for breakfast.
~~~;·;;t:~
\:_'h\INI~
-
pen House
Saturdays
a new type of club
317 Spadina Avenue (rear). 5%-71::1.5
(416) 977-3502
REINGEWIRTZ PAINT STORES LTD.
EST. 1929
PAINTS, VARNISHES AND IMPORTED WALLPAPERS
SEYMOUR ZWEIG
GARY S. ZWEIG
107 BALDWIN STREET
(CORNER HURON STREET)
TORONTO
Boiling over:
DRUM's Buzz Burza
catches himself
looking for a Kensington
angle
at an angry meeting
at the Hsin Kuang
last fall.
Market merchants
were as teed off as
the Spadina nerchants
at the fruit and veg
vendors who took over
the n.e. corner of
Dundas and Spadina.
By the time this
photo was taken,
"teed off" had tipped
over into boiling-­
largely because of the
jackboot style of
the newest city inspector,
marching thro'
the Market handing out
$106 spot fines to any
merchant inches over
the yellow line outside
their own stores.
Digital Archiving Completed by the Ethnography Lab, A University of Toronto Anthropology Initiative
and Produced in Collaboration with David Perlman/Wholenote Media Inc between July-December 2015.
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