Title: Set Apart Girl Magazine (Issue #16)

FOR EVERY WOMAN | RETURNING TO CHRIST-CENTERED FEMININITY
setapartgirl®
MAGAZINE
HEARING
GOD'S VOICE
A BIBLICAL APPROACH
TO DECISION-MAKING
with love
UNTO JESUS
PUT DOWN THE PHONE
Choosing Scripture Over Screen Time
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Focusing on What is Most Important
SWEETER THAN HONEY
Bible Study Part Two
CHERISHING THE SEASON
Embracing the Beauty of Christmastime
Free from
the Past
HOW TO FULLY RECEIVE
GOD'S FORGIVENESS
DEC 2017/JAN 2018 | issue No. 16 | ALWAYS MORE AT SETAPARTGIRL.COM

letter from the
FOUNDER
TRULY EXCITING NEWS!
What is the most amazing, exciting news you can imagine receiving? A marriage
proposal? A job offer? A baby on the way? A dream home made possible? A milestone
achievement reached?
While these earthly joys may bring temporary elation, it’s all too easy to forget that
the most exciting news of all time has already been given to us! When the angel of
the Lord visited the shepherds in the field that night, he announced the most amazing,
spectacular, glorious news we could ever hope for: “Behold, I bring you good tidings of
great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day … a Savior, who is
Christ the Lord” (Luk. 2:10-11). Notice that these “tidings of great joy” were meant for
ALL people … that means you and me!
If you have been struggling to find comfort and joy in your circumstances, I pray that
you will remember that you have already been given the greatest news of all, “…there
is born to you this day … a Savior who is Christ the Lord”! May each page of this new
issue bring you closer to that astounding reality.
Truly, we have every reason to rejoice!
Leslie
2

ORDER ANY PAST ISSUE or
SUBSCRIBE
at www.setapartgirl.com
LESLIE LUDY is a bestselling author and
speaker with a passion for helping women
become set apart for Christ. She and her
husband Eric are the authors of twentyone
books, with well over a million copies in
print, including their widely known classic on
relationships, When God Writes Your Love Story.
Leslie’s popular books for young women include
Authentic Beauty, Set Apart Femininity, Sacred
Singleness, Answering the Guy Questions, and The
Lost Art of True Beauty. Her newest releases,
Set Apart Motherhood and The Set Apart Woman,
challenge women of all ages to embrace God’s
pattern for Christ-centered living. Leslie is the
founder of Set Apart Girl ® — an internationally
known ministry that encourages women in
biblical femininity. She and Eric are the directors
of BraveheartedChristian.com — a biblical
discipleship ministry that equips Christians to
live a Gospel-centered life. The Ludys live in
Colorado with their six exuberant children.
3

Our Team
Each member of our Set Apart Girl® team shares a common passion — to lift high the name of Jesus Christ.
You may never meet these radiant ladies in person, but the pages of this magazine bring their heart right to your hands.
Special thanks to Let There Be Light Photography for these team captures!
Executive Team
LESLIE LUDY
Founder & Director
ANNIE WESCHE
Creative Director
MANDY SAELER
Administrative Director
Contributors
JESS WHITE
Design Assistant
SARAH GUTHRIE
Administrative Assistant
HEATHER COFER
Contributing Writer
JASMIN HOWELL
Contributing Writer
4

ELLERSLIE'S 1 ST ANNUAL
Christmas Kickstart!
If you’ve been blessed by the ministry of Set Apart Girl ® , we invite you to show your support this season by
joining our Christmas Kickstart event! Set Apart Girl has teamed up with Ellerslie and Bravehearted Christian
to bring you some powerful new videos as well as limited-time special offers on our upcoming training
programs and bundles of our best resources at incredible discounts! It’s a great way to support Set Apart Girl
and find life-changing, Christ-centered gifts for your loved ones — or give a boost to your own spiritual walk!
BRAVEHEARTED PERSONAL DISCIPLESHIP SPECIALS
Discounts on our new and improved training model!
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OTHER SPECIALS INCLUDE:
• A limited number of discounted magazine
subscriptions are available!
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bundled up in a gift set and marked down in price!
• A "Bravehearted Man" gift set for the men in your life!
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• Additional magazine specials, e-books, book bundles,
and so much more!
VISIT BRAVEHEARTEDCHRISTIAN.COM TODAY
TO SEE OUR SPECIAL OFFERS AND LEARN MORE!
5

TABLE of CONTENTS
setapartgirl®
setapart femininity
setapart living
setapart relationships
BECOMING A CHRIST-
CENTERED WOMAN
8
Hearing God's Voice
A Biblical Approach to
Decision-Making
by Leslie Ludy
24
Put Down the Phone
Choosing Scripture
Over Screen Time
by Jasmin Howell
BUILDING A CHRIST-
CENTERED EXISTENCE
32
Free From the Past
How to Fully Receive
God's Forgiveness
by Leslie Ludy
46
First Things First
Focusing on What is
Most Important
by Heather Cofer
HONORING CHRIST IN LOVE,
ROMANCE, & FRIENDSHIPS
54
Cherishing the Season
Embracing the Beauty
of Christmastime
by Mandy Saeler
6
Special thanks to Grace McConnaughey and Lauren Robertson for their editorial contributions.

ALWAYS MORE TO READ AT
setapartgirl.com
setapart family
WARRIOR POET
in every issue
A CHRIST-CENTERED HOME LIFE
62
Creative Celebrations
Making Family
Milestones Meaningful
by Leslie Ludy
WARRIOR POETS SPEAK
72
Sweeter Than Honey
Bible Study Part Two
by Nathan Johnson
BONUS CONTENT
42
With Love Column
Unto Jesus
by Annie Wesche
45
Listen, Watch, Read
Edifying Recommendations
82
Q&A: Career
Answered by Set Apart Women
SET APART GIRL® MAGAZINE (USPS 017-603) is published bimonthly for $49.95 per year by Set Apart Girl®, 655 Southwood Lane, Windsor, CO 80550-5959. Periodicals
postage paid at Windsor, CO. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to SET APART GIRL®, 655 Southwood Lane, Windsor, CO 80550-5959.
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the New King James Version® copyright© 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, photography by Bigstock, istock, Unsplash, or Lightstock.
© 2017-2018 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this
material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information
storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl ® .
7

8
MY SHEEP HEAR
MY VOICE,
AND I KNOW
THEM, AND
THEY FOLLOW
ME. JOHN 10:27

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
HEARING
God's voice
A BIBLICAL APPROACH TO DECISION-MAKING
by LESLIE LUDY
T
he scent of tropical sunscreen mingled with
the aroma of spicy Mexican food as Eric
(my husband, who was then nineteen) sat in the
oversized restaurant booth, crunching on tortilla
chips and engaging in small talk with his fellow
camp counselors. They had just ended a week
of being “good spiritual influences” for several
hundred kids at a Christian summer camp. Now,
after several days of leading obstacle courses
and strumming their guitars around the campfire,
it was time to kick back and take it easy. All the
camp counselors were young, popular, attractive,
and outgoing. And they all had one subject at the
forefront of their minds: relationships.
Within minutes, they were whipping photos out
of their wallets to show off the gorgeous guy or
girl they were dating back home. Eric shifted
uncomfortably in his seat. Only a year earlier, he
probably would have had his own photo to whip out
and show everyone. But God had done a powerful
work in his life. He had surrendered his existence
completely to Jesus Christ — including the area of
relationships. He was no longer jumping into casual
dating relationships and flirting with girls.
Eric had decided to trust God to bring his future
wife along in His perfect time and way, without
human manipulation. He had confidence that God
would be faithful in this area of his life. He was
learning to wait patiently for God’s perfect timing,
and to keep his focus on Christ.
But the idea of “waiting on God” was a foreign
concept to most other Christians in his life. And
he knew it would not be understood by his fellow
camp counselors in the oversized booth.
9

After several moments of “oohs and ahhhs” while
the impressive photos were shared, the question
finally came that Eric had been dreading.
“So, Eric, who are you dating now? Show us a
picture of your girlfriend!”
He felt his face turning red. How could he articulate
his decision to trust God with his love story,
without sounding like a wild-eyed fanatic? Finally he
mumbled sheepishly, “I’m waiting on God.” He had
to say the sentence two or three times before they
made out his words. When they finally grasped
what he meant, there was an awkward, unbelieving
silence around the table.
Him. I would say, ‘God, You know me better than I
know myself — You pick!’”
Eric’s “waiting on God” speech didn’t go over well
among the camp counselors that day. But his
decision to wait on God was something he has
never regretted. Two years later, Eric and I met.
And God unfolded a story that only He could write;
a story that would have been entirely missed had
either of us attempted to write our own love stories
out of impatience.
We discovered firsthand what the well-known
principle says: “God gives His best to those who
leave the choice to Him.”
“Oh, um, that’s interesting,” one of the girls said,
looking at the others with an expression of concern
and alarm.
“What exactly does that mean?” demanded one of
the guys. “Waiting on God?”
Eric swallowed hard and tried to explain. “I’m not
going to date until God shows me who my future
wife is. I’m waiting for Him to put the relationship
together in His own time and way.”
“Leaving the choice to God” is not a popular course
of action these days, even among Christians —
whether it’s the choice of who to marry, what job to
take, or what to do with our free time.
In fact, many Christians — just like the young man
who so passionately disagreed with Eric that day —
believe that it is more spiritual to use our common
sense, follow our hearts, make our own decisions,
and then ask God to bless them.
After another moment of shocked disbelief, one of
the guys spoke up. “I totally disagree with you!” he
shot back. “I believe that God gives us the choice —
He lets us pick who we want to marry, and then He
blesses it. We aren’t supposed to wait around for
Him — it’s our responsibility to take action and make
these decisions for ourselves!”
“All I know,” Eric responded quietly, “is that
whenever I’ve tried to make the choice myself, it
ends in disaster. And even if God lined up ten girls
in front of me and told me, ‘Eric, you pick one!’ I
would fall on my knees and give the choice back to
GOD UNFOLDED A STORY
THAT ONLY HE COULD WRITE;
A STORY THAT WOULD HAVE
BEEN ENTIRELY MISSED HAD
EITHER OF US ATTEMPTED TO
WRITE OUR OWN LOVE STORY
OUT OF IMPATIENCE.
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SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
The idea of waiting for God’s leading before we
move forward with a decision is becoming a foreign
concept among modern believers. Over the past two
decades, several popular books have promoted the
idea that God wants to train us for independence,
rather than bothering Him for answers on every
decision we need to make in life. Other books have
taken the position that we only need to look to our
personal desires to know God’s will for our lives.
If you’ve ever been confused about what role God
wants to play in your decisions or how to determine
His specific will for your life, you are not alone!
Let’s take a look at what the Bible has to say about
hearing God’s voice and being directed by Him.
CAN WE REALLY KNOW
GOD'S VOICE?
How I can relate to those words! It’s all too easy to
listen to the voice of my own desires and emotions
and assume they are coming from God. But His
Word reminds us, “My thoughts are not your
thoughts…” (Is. 55:8).
So how can we distinguish God’s voice from our
own thoughts?
Amid the many clamorous voices of the culture,
other people, and our own emotions and ideas,
it’s easy to adopt the mindset that God’s voice is
difficult to hear and recognize — or that He really
doesn’t speak to us other than generally, through
His Word.
But Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know
them, and they follow Me” (Jn. 3:27).
In the classic film, The Hiding Place, Corrie ten
Boom’s sister, Betsy, prays a desperate prayer while
suffering in a concentration camp, “Lord, don’t let me
hear my own voice and think that it’s Yours!”1
1. The Hiding Place, James F. Collier. World Wide Pictures, 1975. Film.
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SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
And in the first chapter of James, we are told to ask God when we need specific wisdom
for our daily lives. I love the simple clarity of the Philips translation:
"If any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem, he has only to ask
God — who gives generously to all men without making them feel foolish or guilty — and
he may be quite sure that the necessary wisdom will be given him" (Jms. 1:5)
In Proverbs, we are told not to lean on our own understanding, but to acknowledge Him
in all our ways, and expect Him to direct our paths. (See Proverbs 3:5-6.)
And in the Psalms He reminds us, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should
go; I will guide you with My eye” (Ps. 32:8).
All throughout Scripture it is clear that God desires to guide us, direct our paths, give
us wisdom, and show us the way we should go. What an incredible privilege! He
doesn’t leave us to figure things out for ourselves; He desires to be intimately
involved in the details of our daily lives.
But are we allowing Him to? Are we inviting God to be the Ruler of our
daily lives and decisions, or trying to keep Him in the position of “back seat
driver” — only asking for His opinion when it’s convenient and comfortable
to do so?
To help answer this question, let’s take a closer look at the biblical
pattern for hearing God’s voice and discerning His specific will for
our lives.
A BIBLICAL APPROACH TO
DECISION-MAKING
In her book Tramp for the Lord, Corrie ten Boom describes the way that
she made decisions about where to travel and minister. She would
place her Bible and her map on the bed, and prayerfully ask God
to direct her to the part of the world that she was to go to next.
Sometimes He would direct her to specific Scriptures that made her
way clear, other times she would be strongly burdened for a particular
country or people group.
12

YOU HAVE ONLY
to ask God
13

WE ARE NOT TO LEAN
ON OUR OWN WISDOM
OR UNDERSTANDING
AS WE NAVIGATE LIFE'S
DECISIONS. WE ARE TO BE
DEPENDENT UPON HIM...
This may seem like a presumptuous or overly
simplistic way to hear from God, but her stories of
His clear leading are truly remarkable. For example,
one time she felt impressed to go to South America.
Even though she had no contacts there and did
not speak the language, she and her assistant
traveled across the world to get there. When they
arrived, hungry and exhausted, there seemed to
be no clear open doors for where they could stay
or minister. But God continued to reassure Corrie
that she was in the center of His will. And soon,
through a supernatural set of circumstances, she
was led to a group of pastors who were meeting
secretly — because of government persecution —
and praying that Corrie ten Boom would come in
person to encourage them.2
When I read stories such as these, I often find
myself wondering, “Can every Christian learn to
hear God’s voice that clearly, or is it only a privileged
few that have a better handle on His guidance than
the rest of us?”
I believe that it is possible for God to personally
lead and guide us with as much clarity as He did
Corrie ten Boom, but also that His clear leading is
conditional upon the state of our souls.
Corrie ten Boom — and many other Christians like her
— heard God’s voice clearly not because they were
“special Christians” but because they were walking in
the biblical pattern for being led by His Spirit.
Let’s explore some of the key requirements for hearing
God’s voice clearly in our daily lives and decisions.
1) BECOME DEPENDENT
Jesus tells us plainly, “without Me you can do
nothing” (Jn. 15:5).
We must abide in Him, as a branch clings to the vine,
in order to live the fruitful lives He has called us to.
This principle is the opposite of saying, “I’ll make my
own decisions and then ask God to bless them.”
We are not to lean on our own wisdom or
understanding as we navigate life’s decisions. We
are to be dependent upon Him; always having a
listening ear and a heart-attitude that says, “Not my
will, but Yours be done!”
Even Christ, when He walked this earth, did not
make His own decisions; He waited for the Father
to speak to Him, lead Him, and guide His every step.
14
2. Corrie ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham, Tramp for the Lord (Fort Washington: Revell, 1974).

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
the only path that leads to life
Though Jesus had every reason to trust in His own
judgement and reasoning, He deliberately chose to
be dependent upon the guidance of His Father:
"I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My
judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will
but the will of the Father who sent Me” (Jn. 5:30).
If we are charging ahead with our own plans and
agenda, without submitting to God and waiting for
His guidance, we can’t expect to hear His voice or
be led by Him.
James reminds us, “Come now, you who say,
‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such
a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and
make a profit,’ whereas you do not know what
will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It
is even a vapor that appears for a little time and
then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If
the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that’”
(Jms. 4:13-15).
If you truly desire to hear God’s voice and be
led by Him, take some time to let Him show you
whether you are truly dependent upon Him. Are
you completely submitted to His will, or are you
pressing your own agenda? Are you abiding in
Him daily, or are you rushing ahead with your
own plans? Does your heart echo the words, “Not
my will, but Yours be done?”
If not, take some time to let God deal with
your heart. Ask Him for the grace to surrender
everything to Him; to lay down your most precious
dreams and desires at His feet. Surrendering to
Him may seem like a restrictive step, but in reality
it is the only path that leads to true life! And when
you are truly surrendered to Him, you’ll begin to
hear His voice and sense His leading in your life
like never before.
Note: To go deeper into the subject of dependence
upon Christ, please download the free sermons “The
Power to Do It” (a 3-part series) and “The Shared
Breath” available at BraveheartedChristian.com.*
2) LET GOD SHAPE YOUR DESIRES
Another flawed-but-popular notion among
Christians today is that we can look to our
personal desires to determine God’s will for our
lives. Eric once talked with a young man who
declared that since it was his greatest desire to
be a film producer, he knew that was what God
wanted him to do. When Eric asked if he’d ever
submitted that desire to God, the young man
looked at him oddly. “Why would I need to do
that?” he asked, “It says in the Bible that God
gives us the desires of our hearts — so I already
know this desire is from Him.”
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord,
and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”
At first glance, this verse may seem like a free
ticket to “do whatever makes you happy” or “expect
God to give you everything you want.” That’s the
mentality this young man had. But let’s take a
deeper look into what this verse is actually saying.
First, God giving us the desires of our hearts
requires delighting in the Lord.
* Go to BraveheartedChristian.com/podcasts, and search “The Power to Do It” and “The Shared Breath” on Eric Ludy’s Sermon Podcast.
15

...AS WE DELIGHT IN HIM,
HE PUTS THE RIGHT
DESIRES IN OUR HEARTS.
The word "delight" in this verse means “soft and
pliable.” In order to truly delight in Him and
receive the desires of our hearts, we must be
soft and pliable to His will and His ways. If we
cling tightly to our own desires, we aren’t truly
delighting in Him.
Secondly, it says that God will “give you” the
desires of your heart.
"Give" in this verse means to “deliver” or “put.” In
other words, as we delight in Him, He puts the
right desires in our hearts.
Think about how exciting that is! God actually
shapes the desires of our hearts to match His
desires for our lives. It’s not about God giving us
what we want; it’s about the amazing, supernatural
work of grace that changes our desires to be in
line with His.
into our home. We prayed one night and asked
God for the privilege of raising this child. Then
we stopped and looked at each other, wondering:
Why do we both desire something that is only going
to make our lives more complicated and challenging?
That’s when we realized that God was shaping
the desires of our hearts. It wasn’t something we
would have naturally asked for — but something
God had burdened us to pursue.
Think about the many missionaries throughout
history who have felt strong desires to go to
places in the world where nobody else wanted to
set foot. Gladys Aylward went to war-torn China
because she couldn’t find anyone else willing to
go there to preach the Gospel. Jim Elliot and
his fellow missionaries were like children on
Christmas morning in their excitement to reach
the Auca Indians — though nobody else wanted
to even go near them. Jackie Pullinger couldn’t
wait to get into the Walled City of Hong Kong
— a filthy, crime-ridden place where even law
enforcement was reluctant to go.
Why did these men and women desire such
strange things? Because they were soft and
pliable toward God’s will and they had allowed
Him to shape the desires of their hearts.
One of the ways that you can tell God is shaping
the desires of your heart is that you begin to
desire things that seem strange to the rest of the
world; you begin to desire treasures in Heaven
instead of treasures on earth.
I remember a moment when Eric and I felt a
strong desire to adopt a little unborn baby in need
of a family. We already had two young children
and a very full ministry, but for some reason we
felt inexplicably drawn toward bringing this child
If you have personal desires and dreams, I encourage
you to start by laying them at Jesus’ feet and asking
Him to shape the longings of your heart. He may
choose to grant certain desires you already have —
for instance, the desire to get married and raise a
family — but it is crucial that our desires are first
completely yielded to Him.
Submitting your desires to God can be a scary
thing to do. But if you are willing to take that step
of obedience, you will experience firsthand the
16

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
well-known principle that expresses, “God gives
His best to those who leave the choice to Him.”3
3) WAIT ON GOD
When Eric and I first began to sense that God may
be leading us beyond friendship and into a more
serious relationship, we made a strange decision.
We chose to take a week apart, to not have any
contact with each other, and to simply pray and wait
on God for direction. We didn’t want the distraction
of being around each other to cloud our ability to
hear God’s voice. We took time to fast, to pray, to
seek God’s direction in His Word, and even to gain
counsel from trusted godly people in our lives. That
week became such a crucial part of our love story.
Instead of rushing ahead and presuming we knew
what God was up to, we chose to take a step back
and wait on Him.
Waiting on God for direction was not an easy thing
to do. I was eager to know what the next steps were
and where things were headed in our relationship.
Inwardly, I would have preferred to just rush ahead
and start making decisions. But by the end of
that week, I knew it had been worth it. Instead of
wondering whether my own desires and emotions
were leading me, my feet were on the solid rock of
God’s Word and His direction.
Psalm 27:14 tells us, “Wait for the Lord; be strong
and take heart and wait for the Lord” (NIV).
Why is the phrase “be strong and take heart”
associated with waiting for the Lord? Because
taking time to wait and let God make your path
clear requires strength of soul — it requires faith.
The Bible says that God is a “rewarder of those who
diligently seek Him” (Heb. 11:6). Do we believe that
promise? Are we willing to diligently seek Him in
order to find the reward that He has for those who
wait expectantly on Him?
One of the reasons that many of us shy away from
waiting on God is because we are afraid that His
plans for us will be miserable compared to the plans
we have for ourselves. It’s often easier to skip the
seek God's direction in His Word
3. Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor, Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret (Chicago: Moody, 2009), 44.
17

step of waiting on Him, stop up our ears to His still
small voice, and plow ahead with what seems good
to us.
I WOULD HAVE MISSED
HIS PLANS COMPLETELY
IF I HAD NOT TAKEN TIME
TO WAIT ON HIM AND
SEEK HIS FACE BEFORE
RUSHING AHEAD WITH
MY OWN WILL.
I used to imagine that if I truly waited for God to
direct my steps, I would end up living the life of
a sad, lonely spinster, sitting forlornly in a rocking
chair and staring wistfully out the window for the
rest of my life with a fifty-pound Bible in my lap.
But as I learned to lay my life before Him and truly wait
on Him to guide me and direct my steps, I discovered
the opposite was true! He didn’t have depressing,
miserable plans for my life. His plans for me were
good. He wanted to give me a hope and a future. As
Corrie ten Boom so often said, “God has only plans,
not problems, for our lives.”4 But I would have missed
His plans completely if I had not taken time to wait on
Him and seek His face before rushing ahead with my
own will.
If you are facing any kind of decision — small or big
— I encourage you to take purposeful time away from
outside input and distractions and to truly wait upon
God. Spend time in His Word; ask Him to speak to
you specifically through Scripture and through giving
you a clear sense of His direction in your own heart.
And as it says in Proverbs, “…those who seek Me
diligently will find Me” (Prov. 8:17).
4) PUT PRIDE ASIDE
Proverbs tells us, “Do you see a man wise in his own
eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him”
(Prov. 26:12).
All throughout Scripture God makes it clear that He
opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
When we are prideful — believing that we have things
18
4. "Corrie Ten Boom." AZQuotes.com. Wind and Fly LTD, 2017. 01 November 2017. http://
www.azquotes.com/quote/350725

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
all figured out and we don’t really need God’s help
— that’s when we are setting ourselves up for a
major fall.
her life revealed that she hadn’t taken time to pray
about the situation because she “just knew” it was
okay for her to move forward.
In fact, the wonderful promise in Psalm 32:8-9
about God’s guidance, is conditional upon the fact
that we cannot be marked by pride:
What a danger pride is to our souls! When we
are wise in our own eyes, we will be even less
successful than a fool.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should
go; ​I will guide you with My eye. Do not be like the
horse or like the mule, ​Which have no understanding, ​
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle…
How can we avoid becoming wise in our own eyes?
Here is a key truth that can keep pride at bay: God
will never lead us to do something that contradicts
His Word or His nature.
If we are stubborn like a horse or mule, we cannot
be led by God. Rather, our pride controls us just
like a bridle controls a headstrong animal.
Anything that is done in fleshly pride is not inspired
by Him — no matter how “right” or “spiritual” it may
seem at the time.
I once knew a Christian young woman who felt
compelled to date a married man. She had all kinds
of justifications for this course of action — he was
going through a divorce and wasn't planning on
staying with his wife anyway. He was a Christian
man who had just made some mistakes, and most
of all, she felt free to date him because she “knew”
God had given her that freedom.
Why was this young woman so off-base in her
ability to hear the voice of God? Simply put —
pride. She was so confident in her own wisdom,
her own reasoning, and her own ability to hear
God that she was veering completely off-course
without even realizing it. A closer examination of
Maybe you’ve felt drawn to start a relationship
with a non-Christian man. Maybe you’ve justified
this decision with all kinds of “spiritual-sounding”
arguments about how you can be a good witness
to him. But in choosing this path you are pridefully
choosing to ignore God’s clear command, “Do not
be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
For what fellowship has righteousness with
lawlessness? And what communion has light with
darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).
And when we allow pride, rather than God’s Word,
to dictate our steps, we are setting ourselves up
for disaster.
WHEN WE ALLOW PRIDE, RATHER THAN GOD'S WORD, TO DICTATE
OUR STEPS, WE ARE SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR DISASTER.
19

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
I’ve known prideful young Christians who feel
justified in angrily confronting other Christians
that they disagree with. They are fleshly, arrogant,
and demeaning in their approach, but they have
convinced themselves that they are being led by
God because of the “truth” they are defending.
Once again, pride is in control and not the Spirit
of God. And as James poignantly tells us, “this
wisdom does not descend from above, but is
earthly, sensual, demonic” (Jms. 3:15).
The fear of the Lord is crucial to avoiding the trap
of fleshly pride. Proverbs also tells us, “Do not be
wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart
from evil” (Prov. 3:7).
We can’t treat Jesus — Lord of Heaven and earth
— like a casual buddy who has a few good things
to say. He must become our King, our Lord, our
Master. He must be lifted high above our own
thoughts, ideas, opinions, and human wisdom. We
must adapt our thoughts around His truth rather
than try to adapt His truth around our own ideas.
Remember, when we humble ourselves in His
sight, He will lift us up. (See James 4:10.)
5) SEEK GODLY COUNSEL
In addition to guiding us through His Word and the
still small voice of His Spirit, God can also speak to
us through the godly counsel of others. When Eric
and I first began our relationship, we felt that God
was challenging us to invite our parents to become
a key part of our love story. Not to dictate our
relationship, but rather to provide godly counsel
and accountability along the way.
I never would have imagined that asking my parents
to be a part of my love story would lead to such
beauty. But it did! Rather than being controlling and
dictatorial, they were life-giving and encouraging.
My dad and Eric met on a regular basis to talk
about how he could win my heart in a godly way.
(And what girl wouldn’t feel like a princess with the
two most important men in her life talking about
winning her heart?)
If you have godly parents, consider how you can
invite them to provide godly counsel to you as you
navigate important life decisions. Even if your pride
tries to keep you from doing so, receiving godly
counsel can be such an important key to hearing
God’s voice and following His leading.
HE MUST BE LIFTED
HIGH ABOVE OUR OWN
THOUGHTS, IDEAS,
OPINIONS, AND HUMAN
WISDOM.
Gaining input from others isn’t a replacement for
seeking God on your own and having your own
relationship with Him. Rather, godly counselors can
provide confirmation to what God is showing you,
as well as words of caution or re-direction when
needed. If you don’t have godly parents, ask God
to bring Christ-centered leaders or mentors into
your life who can fill this role. The older generation
often has a lot of godly wisdom to share — if we will
simply humble ourselves to invite their counsel into
our lives.
20

Of course, it’s important to make sure that your godly
counselors are truly speaking things that line up with
God’s Word and His nature. Don’t look for counselors
who have a casual regard for His Word, but those
who truly build their lives around God’s truth.
Proverbs 15:22 reminds us, “Plans fail for lack of
counsel, but with many advisors they succeed" (NIV).
/ / /
Do you want to know God’s voice and be led by
Him? Never forget that He is not trying to hide His
wisdom from us or make His voice obscure. Rather,
He is ready and waiting to direct our steps, as a
good Shepherd lovingly directs His sheep. Jesus
illustrated this in a parable He told:
“…[he] who enters by the door is the shepherd of
the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the
sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by
name and leads them out. And when he brings out
his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep
follow him, for they know his voice” (Jn. 10:2-4).
What an amazing joy that He does not leave us
to figure things out on our own, but is ready to
gently and clearly show us the way we should go.
All we must do is open our ears and seek Him
with all our hearts.
the end.
with all our hearts
21

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24
SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
PUT DOWN THE PHONE
Choosing Scripture Over Screen Time
by JASMIN HOWELL
25

ding! ding! ... beep ... buzz ...
I leaned against the railing of the deck and in the demands and the tasks before me. Please remind
looked out at the treetops waving gently in the late me how to stop. Your Word says You are always with
evening breeze. I could feel my shoulders relax as me; so please help me silence all the noise and find my
the thoughts that had been worrying the corners rest in You.
of my mind began to ebb away. Birds were singing,
and the sun was setting. In the lingering autumn Mere moments after that prayer escaped my lips, my
warmth, ripe apples in all their glory filled the air phone began to buzz, signaling a slew of new emails
with fragrance.
— all questions, needs, or deadlines that, no doubt,
required my immediate attention. Then a series of
A rare quiet moment descended upon me. “dings” with the arrival of new text messages — each
Something about the simple beauty of this scene seeming to demand attention and a response. Only
was tugging at my heart. A lump caught in my seconds later my phone rang with an important call.
throat, and my eyes welled up with tears. My need In the back of my mind, my running list of tasks was
for communion with the Lord was a tangible ache. growing as I mentally added items to the pile. Do
I was suddenly struck by how rushed, infrequent, this, do that, call this person, send that email … a
and distracted my times with Him had been over sense of panic started to rise up in my heart. This is
the last few months. I was yearning for stillness with how life had felt lately … a series of urgent beeps,
my Savior, but I hadn’t been prioritizing it in my life. dings, and buzzes, and a panic-inducing list of to-dos
that kept my mind busy and my heart occupied with
I breathed out a silent prayer. I miss our time together, the temporal needs of today. My spirit ached for the
Lord. I’m always rushing from here to there, caught up Lord, but my mind was full of today’s troubles and
26

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
SILENCE THE
NOISE & ... find rest
needs. Was it possible to put aside my noisy phone
and find rest with the Lord in this busy season? It
seemed impossible!
CHOOSE SCRIPTURE
There will always be things vying for our attention.
There will always be choices for us to make and
things to prioritize. Even in our busiest seasons of
life, we all have the choice of picking up our Bibles
or our phones. When you are at your busiest, what
happens to your relationship with the Lord? In this
busy season of my life, my phone has had more of
my attention than I would like — and my Bible has
been on my coffee table, unopened, more than I
would like.
The Bible says that, “All Scripture is breathed out
by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for
correction, and for training in righteousness, that
the man [and woman] of God may be complete,
equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16-17
ESV). We cannot be equipped to do anything very
well for the Lord if we are not spending time with
Him. I know I so often rationalize to myself, I’ll just
take care of this one email, and then I’ll pick up my
Bible. But inevitably, once I get on my phone, taking
care of one task easily turns into twenty minutes
of distraction. I feel like I will be more competent,
organized, and efficient if I take care of the pressing
task before me — and then my mind will be more
free for the Lord. But so often the opposite is true.
The more I put it off, the more distracted I become
and the more impossible it feels to set those
distractions aside. Soaking ourselves in Scripture
is really the only thing that will make us more
competent and well-equipped to carry out every
other task in our life.
When I was in my late teens and early twenties, my
mornings were restful times with the Lord. I looked
forward to when my feet would hit the floor.
Grabbing my Bible and my journal, I would spend
quiet time with Him writing out my prayers and
needs, and journaling about what I was learning in
His Word. It was a fruitful time of growth in my life.
In the last few months, as I’ve been caught up in my
demanding work schedule and juggling the roles of
27

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
being a wife and mom, I have often thought back
to that season and have found myself asking: Did I
have more time then? Or was I simply less distracted?
It was a season of life before "iPhone" had become
a buzzword. The most technology I ever had in my
youth was an alarm clock on the nightstand, and
it didn’t provide much of a distraction to my time
with the Lord. In fact it was helpful, as its morning
beep-beep-beep shook the sleep from my eyes and
got me up and out of bed to enjoy those morning
quiet times. I didn’t even have my own computer
until I was well into my twenties! But these days
my phone is plugged in beside my bed and serves
as my alarm and my computer in one. My phone is
often the first item I grab in the morning, sometimes
responding to a text or email before my feet even
hit the floor. Sound familiar?
It reminds me of the story of Elijah. As a prophet
hunted by a wicked queen, his own life was full of
potential distractions. But the Lord met him in a
powerful way to reveal where He was to be found in
Elijah’s life — and in our lives as well! “Then a great
and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and
shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord
was not in the wind. After the wind there was an
earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was
not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle
whisper … Then a voice [spoke]…” (1 Kings 19:11-
13 NIV). In my own life, the metaphorical winds,
earthquakes, and fires of life so often have my
attention, while the whisper of the Lord is easily lost
in the din. I believe that this truth is so important for
us today. Because of these little handheld devices,
we can be so tuned-in to the noise of the world and
tuned-out to the voice of the Lord.
These little devices play a HUGE role in our lives —
and the incoming texts, emails, account notifications,
and phone calls are accompanied by a false sense
of urgency. Part of the illusion is that an immediate
response is required from us. Meanwhile our Bibles
often remain unopened as we respond to the flow of
incoming information from our phones. Even though
our Bible won't ding and buzz for our attention, the
life-giving truth it offers is what we need most!
SET BOUNDARIES
The longer that my phone has been part of my life,
the more it becomes second nature to grab it for
everything from looking up a recipe and listening to
music, to firing off a quick email or checking my bank
account. I can, quite literally, do almost everything
from my little handheld phone. And, unfortunately,
it often drives me to distraction. Where my free
time used to be devoted to time with the Lord,
walks in His creation, creating something beautiful
for my home or as gifts for friends, writing music,
or contemplation … I find my mind is so cluttered
and busy that even when I get that free time, I don’t
know how to use it!
With hundreds of distractions literally in the palm of
our hands, it is now vital for a Christian woman to
diligently consider the place that phones, iPads, and
even computers have in our lives. What boundaries
do we set to protect our times with the Lord, above
all else?
What boundaries do we set to protect our
times with the Lord, above all else?
28

As Leslie mentioned in a past article on this
topic, “No other generation in Christian history
has ever had to navigate the murky waters of
digital conduct. We can’t read books from great
Christians through the ages who have gone
before us and set a shining example … because
they don’t exist. And yet … [this] doesn’t give us
an excuse to ignore the importance of learning
how to honor God in this area of our lives.”1
Because my phone is the singular most
important item I use in my job, it is becoming
more imperative than ever that this little item
takes its proper place, and that I don’t allow it
to distract me from the Lord. If you find yourself
feeling distracted, burdened, anxious, and weary
— it may very well be that you are choosing to
spend time on your phone — scrolling, liking, and
replying — instead of refreshing your heart and
mind in the presence of Christ!
So, as the first generation faced with the need to
properly manage the distraction of our phones,
social media, and our fast-paced world, how are we
going to ensure that God gets the glory, even in
this area?
Here are a few suggestions for managing your
phone use and allowing your time with the Lord
— and His voice — to be more prominent than the
noise of the world:
ONE
Plug your phone into an outlet outside of your
bedroom at night, and get an actual alarm clock.
Keep your Bible on your nightstand in place of
your phone! When your old-school alarm goes off,
grab your Bible and grab a seat!
1. Leslie Ludy, “Set-Apartness in Social Media,” Set Apart Girl: Bravehearted Christian, 2017. 25 September
2017. http://www.setapartgirl.com/magazine/article/08-1-17/set-apartness-social-media 29

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 16
TWO
Silence your phone, and leave it in a different room
while you meet with the Lord. Then the temptation
to pick it up to check your Facebook newsfeed
won’t be a problem. Don’t worry, you won’t miss
anything life-altering in the time you spend with
Him! But at least you won’t hear every buzz and
ding, which will make you feel like you are missing
something! And hopefully, the more you do this, the
less it will matter to you what is happening on that
phone screen!
THREE
Though it’s great to put your phone on silent while
you meet with the Lord, it may not be practical to
keep your phone on silent throughout the day. In
my life as a wife, mom, and businesswoman, I simply
can’t silence my phone all day — as my husband,
colleagues, or clients may need to get in touch with
me. So, the probability that my phone will buzz or
ding is pretty much guaranteed. Rather than jumping
to respond every time the phone buzzes, try to block
off certain times of the day to check your phone
for important messages and calls, and the rest of
the time, dedicate your energy to the other things
that need your attention. Instead of silencing your
phone entirely, consider turning off notifications for
texts, emails, Instagram, and Facebook messenger.
It’s amazing how much quieter your phone — and
your life — will be.
/ / /
We can blame our spiritual distraction on all kinds
of things: a bulging task list, a packed schedule, too
much school work, a child who won’t sleep through
the night, an exhausting job, or a buzzing phone;
but ultimately we are making choices every day to
say yes to something, and no to something else. By
our choices are we saying yes to the Lord? Or are
we saying no and choosing something else instead?
Perhaps, like me, you are deeply longing for a richer
spiritual life, for more time basking in the beauty
and wonder of Christ! The Word of God is a river
of life, and our phones and the distractions they
present are nothing more than a parched desert —
we wander around in them, looking for meaning.
But like the Psalmist, you may be crying out, “O
God … earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you
… as in a dry and weary land where there is no
water” (Ps. 63:1 ESV). If so, you must make time
for Him without distraction. We will never find real
refreshment and life behind our phone screens.
Nothing can be a substitute for the Word of God
and nothing can bring life except Christ!
I have come to the realization that it is not my
phone — or anything else — that is to blame for
my lack of peace or my sparse and distracted times
with the Lord. It is MY USE of those things that
determines how they impact my spiritual life. I can
choose to respond to every ding and beep — giving
them precedence in my life and allowing a myriad
of distractions to take my eyes off the Lord. Or I
can acknowledge that I have given it too much
importance, and ask God for wisdom on how to use
my phone (and other technology) for His glory. The
beeps and dings aren’t going away, but we each
have a choice how we respond to them and how
we respond to the voice of the Lord. It may be just
a whisper … but it is ever present.
Next time He beckons you into His presence, put
down the phone, and go to Him.
the end.
30

WE HAVE A CHOICE.
HOW DO WE RESPOND?
31

Free
from the past
HOW TO
FULLY RECEIVE GOD'S
FORGIVENESS
by LESLIE LUDY
32

Regret.
Shame.
Unworthiness.
Regret. Shame. Unworthiness. Those were the
emotions washing over me as I sat on my bed with
my Bible in my lap. I had just read the words, “As far
as the east is from the west, so far has He removed
our [sins] from us” (Ps. 103:12). But that verse felt
more like wishful thinking than reality. I knew that
what the Bible said about God’s forgiveness was
true — for everyone else who had repented of
their sins. But they didn’t feel true for me.
I had been a Christian from a young age, but had
truly consecrated my life to Christ about a year and
a half earlier. I had seen God do wonderful things in
my life since choosing to fully yield to Him. I felt His
presence on a daily basis and His Word was coming
alive to me more and more.
But every once in a while, I would be overcome with
grief over my past sins. Though I had asked His
forgiveness many times over, I didn’t feel forgiven
— especially for the impurity that I had walked in
for several years. Somehow, it seemed that I would
always have those sins hovering over me — that
they would hinder me from truly experiencing God’s
best in that area of my life.
A passionate young Christian named Eric Ludy
had come into my life. I deeply admired his walk
with Christ. As our friendship progressed, I sensed
that God might be scripting a love story between
us — that perhaps Eric was the one God had chosen
for me to spend my life with. But whenever that
thought crossed my mind, it was followed by a
sense of hopeless regret and unworthiness.
Surely I’m disqualified from God doing something
amazing in this area of my life. I would think to myself.
If I hadn’t made so many mistakes in the past, then
maybe. But now — it’s too late. God wouldn’t choose
to bless me with a beautiful love story after all that I’ve
done wrong.
SOMEHOW, IT SEEMED THAT I
WOULD ALWAYS HAVE THOSE
SINS HOVERING OVER ME...
I closed my Bible and whispered a prayer. “Lord, I
want to feel forgiven. I want to be set free from this
constant shame that I carry around with me. Will
You make Your forgiveness real to me?”
33

LORD, I RECEIVE YOUR FORGIVENESS.
Suddenly, a clear statement seemed to resound
through my heart. “I have forgiven you, now you
must receive it.”
I sat thinking for several minutes. I had repented of
my sins, but had I ever truly received the forgiveness
He offered?
I had to admit that I hadn’t. In fact, I’d been pushing
away God’s promise of forgiveness, convinced that
I wasn’t qualified for it — that somehow God didn’t
really want to forgive me and set me free from the
past. In a strange way, I had almost believed that it
was more spiritual to live in guilt over my past sins
than to agree with God that my sins were removed
from me completely — as far away as the east is
from the west.
That day, I came to a simple yet profound conclusion
about God’s forgiveness. I didn’t need to wait to
feel forgiven. Rather, I needed to get in step with
God and agree with His Word. Instead of pushing
away the forgiveness that He offered, I needed to
accept and receive it. He was asking me to reckon
His forgiveness true in my life, no matter what my
emotions tried to tell me.
I got on my knees and asked Him to forgive me for
rejecting His forgiveness and for allowing shame,
guilt, and regret to dictate my reality, rather than
His unchanging, unfailing truth. I said, “Lord, I
receive Your forgiveness. I choose to agree with
Your Word. I have repented of these sins, and they
are now covered by the blood of Jesus. You have
removed them from me as far away as the east is
from the west. You have washed me clean, whiter
than snow. No matter what my emotions may tell
me, that will be my reality from this day forward.”
It was a life-changing prayer.
It’s not that I was never again tempted to wallow
in guilt or regret. But now, I had a new response.
Instead of letting those emotions weigh me down
and define my thoughts and actions, I reminded
myself that God no longer saw those sins when He
34

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
no fishing allowed
looked at me and that they had been cast into the
depths of the sea. (See Micah 7:19.) And, as Corrie
ten Boom said, God had posted by that sea a sign
that said: “No fishing allowed!”1 In other words, I was
not to drudge up past sins and dwell upon them. I
was to turn my gaze to Christ and press on toward all
that He had for me as a new creation in Christ.
HE WAS ASKING ME TO RECKON
HIS FORGIVENESS TRUE IN MY
LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT MY
EMOTIONS TRIED TO TELL ME.
At first, it took a focused effort to say no to the
feelings of guilt and yes to the reality of God’s
forgiveness. But the more I put this principle into
practice, the more my emotions began to line up
with God’s truth. As the months went by, I found
that I no longer struggled with constant shame over
past sins. Rather, I was able to truly celebrate the
amazing work of forgiveness and redemption that
God had done in my life. I was able to fully embrace
the pure and beautiful love story God was writing
for me, without letting emotional baggage from past
sins put a damper on the relationship.
Jesus said, “So if the Son makes you free, you will
be free indeed” (Jn. 8:36). The term “free indeed”
literally means “truly, literally, no longer a slave.” The
incredible thing about God’s forgiveness through
Christ is that it is not partial — it is complete,
absolute, and final. Our finite minds may not be
able to grasp the reality of His overwhelming love,
mercy, and forgiveness, but His Word makes it clear
that these gifts are freely offered to all who will
receive them. It’s not based on our own worthiness
— but on His unfailing power and triumph on the
Cross.
So many of us — though we have confessed and
repented of our past sins — are not truly walking
in the freedom that Christ purchased for us on the
Cross. Our own emotions, or the enemy of our
1. Corrie ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham, Tramp for the Lord (Fort Washington: Revell, 1974), 108.
35

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
soul, often convince us that those sins will always
haunt us, and always weigh us down. Many women
have said to me, “I know that God can forgive me,
but I just can’t forgive myself.” What that statement
really means is, “I just can’t seem to agree with God
that I am forgiven.”
In reality, God hasn’t asked us to “forgive ourselves.”
He is the Forgiver — we are the receivers of His
forgiveness. Our job isn’t to “let ourselves off the
hook” for past sins. Rather, our job is to believe what
He says. It sounds so simple, yet this is where many
of us get tripped up. We try to punish ourselves
for past sins, forgetting that Christ already bore
our punishment on the Cross. When we repent
and turn, He forgives us and sets us free from the
past — and not just partially free — but free indeed!
If you have been weighed down with regret and guilt
over past sins, yet you have repented and asked to
be made new, then God wants to show you that
your prison door is unlocked. You don’t need to
stay in that prison anymore. All you need to do is
rise up, push against the iron bars, and discover that
they swing wide open. You have been set free by
His blood. Now, you need to walk in that reality.
"I KNOW GOD CAN FORGIVE
ME, BUT I JUST CAN'T
FORGIVE MYSELF."
WHAT THAT STATEMENT
REALLY MEANS IS, "I JUST
CAN'T SEEM TO AGREE WITH
GOD THAT I AM FORGIVEN."
I’d like to share three key principles that can help you
push those prison doors open and start walking in
the amazing reality of God’s forgiveness — starting
right now.
1) UNDERSTAND TRUE
REPENTANCE
Leonard Ravenhill once said that the biggest
hindrance to revival today is modern evangelism.
Today we often think of coming to Christ as saying
a quick sinner’s prayer and trying to be a better
person. But according to Scripture, in order to
truly become a “new creation in Christ” we must
first pass from death to life. (See John 5:24.) Old
things must pass away. We must crucify our “old
self” and let the life of Christ live and reign within
our soul. Becoming “dead to self” and “alive to
Christ” is what the Gospel is all about.
If you are unsure whether God has truly forgiven
you, it’s possible that you haven’t had a clear
understanding of true repentance, or the power
of “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col. 1:27). I
would encourage you to spend time in the presence
of God, let Him shine His searchlight into your soul,
convict you of sin, wash you clean by the power
of Jesus’ blood, and give you the enabling grace
to repent and turn from your sin. (Note: A good
way to gain a clearer grasp on the life-changing
power of the Gospel, and the process of passing
from death to life, is to listen to the message, The
Position of Victory, available for free download
at BraveheartedChristian.com.)* Remain in the
presence of God until you have been made a new
creation in Christ. Let Him overtake you from
the inside out. Surrender your entire life into His
hands, and let His power overtake you and equip
you to live a life you could never live on your own.
36
* Go to BraveheartedChristian.com/podcasts, and search “victory” on Eric Ludy’s Sermon Podcast.

Repentance is so much more than just saying you
are sorry for past sins. It’s about living a completely
different lifestyle and having a completely different
attitude — through the power of Christ in you.
Settle it in your heart that your life is no longer
your own, you have been bought with a price
— the precious blood of Christ. Remember that
when you come to Christ, you are making a sacred
covenant exchange; all that you are for all that He
is. When your old self has died with Christ and
you have become a new creation in Him, you have
the power to repent and turn from your sin and
live a life of righteousness that you could never
live on your own. Now that’s Good News!
2) TAKE BACK THE
ENEMY'S GROUND
If you have allowed habitual sin to remain in your
life or have never truly repented of past sins,
then it’s likely that the enemy has gained some
territory in your inner life. If you have let sin
control you, then the enemy has gained a “legal
right” to harass you — wreaking havoc in your
spiritual life and plaguing you with doubt, fear,
anger, guilt, etc. When you repent of past sins
and allow Christ to wash you clean, it’s crucial to
take back the territory that you have previously
given to the enemy.
Free Indeed!
Let God reveal to you any area in which Satan has
gotten a hold in your life. Once you repent and are
made new in that area, tell the enemy that he must
go, and spiritually take back any ground that he has
claimed. Then, if he tries to harass you with guilt,
shame, remorse, or temptation toward those old
habits, remind him that this territory now belongs
to God and stand firmly upon promises such as:
“Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the
37

What does
God'sWord say
about it?
world.” (See 1 John 4:4.) Don’t allow the enemy
to push you around or weigh you down with past
sins that have already been covered by the blood of
Jesus. When you are in Christ and Christ is in you,
you have the power to resist the enemy, and when
you do, he must flee. (See James 4:7.)
3) AGREE WITH GOD
Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us “Trust in the Lord with
all your heart, and do not lean on your own
understanding” (ESV).
When it comes to receiving God’s forgiveness we
all too often try to lean on our own understanding
rather than standing firmly on the promises of God.
Our own mind and emotions — or even “common
sense” — may tell us that we can never truly be free
from our past sins. But what does God’s Word say
about it?
He says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a
new creation; old things have passed away; behold,
all things have become new” (2 Cor. 5:17).
He says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and
just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9).
He says, “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean:
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow” (Ps. 51:7).
He says, “As far as the east is from the west, so
far has He removed our transgressions from us”
(Ps. 103:12).
The only way to truly walk in the amazing reality
of God’s forgiveness is to stop listening to our own
human perspective and start agreeing with God.
His Word reminds us, “Let God be true, but every
38

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
man a liar” (Rom. 3:4). In other words, the only
opinion that truly matters is His.
One of the best ways to start agreeing with God
that your past sins are truly forgiven is to memorize
some of the key Scriptures on forgiveness and
meditate on them often, especially when you are
tempted to give in to guilt, shame, remorse, and
doubt. If we ask God for the enabling grace to say
“no” to guilt and doubt and “yes” to the promises in
His Word, He will give us everything that we need
to agree with Him.
When Paul and Barnabas were preaching the
Gospel to the Jews in the book of Acts, their
hearers rejected the truth. They preferred their
own opinions to the reality of Jesus Christ. In Acts
13:46, Paul and Barnabas said to them, “It was
necessary that the word of God should be spoken
to you first; but since you reject it, and judge
yourselves unworthy of everlasting life, behold,
we turn to the Gentiles.”
IF WE ASK GOD ... HE WILL GIVE
US EVERYTHING THAT WE NEED
TO AGREE WITH HIM.
What an amazing opportunity these Jews missed
because they rejected God’s Word and, in so
doing, judged themselves unworthy of His gift of
salvation. May we not make the same mistake
— rejecting God’s mercy and judging ourselves
unworthy of His forgiveness!
It’s important to be aware of the fact that the
enemy will often bait us toward self-pity over our
past sins. Sometimes, though God’s forgiveness is
sitting right in front of us, we choose to reject it
39

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
because we enjoy the sympathy and attention we
receive from other Christians who feel sorry for our
struggle. Avoid this dangerous pitfall. God has not
destined you to wallow in doubt, guilt, shame, and
self-pity for the remainder of your Christian life.
Rather, He desires you to be spiritually strong, so
that you can be poured out for others and shine His
light to this world. Agreeing with Him that you are
truly forgiven is the first step in answering that call.
I would encourage you to read missionary stories
and be reminded of how great the ocean of God’s
love really is. Stories about head-hunters and
cannibals receiving Christ and being made new,
stories of gang-members and prostitutes turning
from their sin and being washed clean, stories of
cruel Nazi prison guards being set free from their
hatred and sin, stories of murderers and slave
traders being given a fresh start. As Corrie ten
Boom would say, “There is no pit so deep that
God’s love is not deeper still.”2 History is filled with
examples of the power of God’s forgiveness. It can
be a tremendous boost to your faith to read about
how He has worked to redeem and transform even
some of the most seemingly “hopeless” sinners this
world has ever seen.
THE WOMAN WAS NOT
WALLOWING IN HER PAST SIN
AND GUILT. RATHER, SHE WAS
OVERCOME BY THE AMAZING,
ASTOUNDING, INCREDIBLE,
LIFE-CHANGING REALITY OF
CHRIST'S FORGIVENESS.
/ / /
One of the most beautiful pictures in Scripture of
someone truly receiving God’s forgiveness is the
woman who wept at Jesus’ feet and wiped her tears
away with her hair. Simon the Pharisee, who was
sitting nearby, thought to himself, “If this Man were
a prophet, He would know who is touching Him and
what kind of woman she is — that she is a sinner”
(Luk. 7:39 NIV).
But Jesus did know who was touching Him and what
kind of woman she was. And rather than condemn
her, He praised her for her incredible demonstration
of love and thankfulness. He said, “Her sins, which
are many, are forgiven, for she loved much” (Luk.
7:47). This woman was not wallowing in her past
sin and guilt. Rather, she was overcome by the
amazing, astounding, incredible, life-changing reality
of Christ’s forgiveness.
It’s popular in many churches today to “celebrate our
brokenness” — to fixate on our sin and shortcomings
and weaknesses. But that’s not what this woman
did. Rather, she celebrated Christ and focused only
on His amazing love and mercy. She honored Him
by fully accepting and embracing His forgiveness.
And her response to His mercy was overwhelming
love and gratitude for the One who had washed her
clean and made her new.
Let’s follow this woman’s example and bring our
sin to the feet of Jesus, acknowledge what He has
done for us, and pour out our love and gratitude
upon Him as she did. By His grace, may we choose
to, “Stand fast … in the liberty by which Christ has
made us free, and not be entangled again with a
yoke of bondage” (Gal. 5:1).
When the Son sets us free, we are free indeed!
the end.
40
2. Corrie ten Boom with John and Elizabeth Sherrill, The Hiding Place (Grand Rapids: Chosen, 2006), 8.

SET APART FEMININITY | issue No. 15
Christ has made us free!
41

with love
COLUMN
by ANNIE WESCHE
Unto Jesus
Out of the midnight darkness came the weak
sound of what had quickly become a familiar plea in
my ears. “Annie?”
There in the small, humble room that barely fit a
hospital bed, dresser, nightstand, and one very
rickety recliner, I pressed my eyes shut at the
sound of my mum’s call as my shoulders fell with
weariness. She had endured brain surgery and
a debilitating stroke which had weakened her
severely. Her needs were many, and the long night
hours seemed to shine a spotlight on every single
one of those needs — a scratch between her toes,
a hurting arm that couldn’t move itself, pillows that
needed shifting … and shifting … and shifting, fresh
ice packs for her head, repositioning her body each
time she was uncomfortable, too many blankets,
not enough blankets, and nurse call buttons … all
of which seemed to happen on a steady rotation
throughout the night.
My love and gratitude for my mother had only
deepened in the past two weeks as our family
walked through her sudden cancer diagnosis, brain
surgery, and the resulting stroke. And when we
learned that we’d need to temporarily move her into
a rehab facility, I had no question in my mind as to
whether or not I’d stay there with her. Any measure
in which I could bring a lightness and comfort to
the suffering she was enduring was the longing of
...inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of
these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.
MATTHEW 25:40 KJV
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LETTERS ON LIVING SET APART | issue No. 16
my heart, and I genuinely loved being able to care
for her and simply be with her. I couldn’t imagine
how difficult those long nights would feel for her to
be alone in a strange place — especially at such a
difficult stage of recovery and without the nearness
of those who love you. So, that rickety old recliner
at the foot of her bed became my temporary office
and sleeping spot for nearly three weeks. I took the
night shift, while dad and others took the day shift.
But on this particular night, at the sound of her
familiar plea, I hesitated. I was tired and frustrated.
I wanted a reprieve. We were only two hours into
the long night ahead and I’d already lost count of
how many times I had gotten up from my work to
help adjust Mum in bed or scratch the itch between
her toes. It wasn’t that I was frustrated with Mum.
I knew that she was doing all she could do, and
trusting me to do for her what she currently couldn’t
do on her own. And what an honor it was to be able
to pour back into her life a small measure of all she
had poured into mine all these loving years. I was
irritated by the itch that would not be appeased,
and the ice bag that melted too fast or leaked, and
that pillow that slid from its perfect position too
easily. Couldn’t we catch a break somewhere? The
constant interruptions and problems mounted as
the night wore on, and I could feel heavy frustration
beginning to affect me.
“God, this is unbearable!” I inwardly cried out. “We
can’t keep this up all night long — she needs sleep
so her body can heal, and I need to work!” But just
as quickly as I cried out, His unexpected and gentle
answer came in just two profoundly powerful
words: unto Jesus.
Unto Jesus! I whispered. The moment those two
words touched my soul and rested on my lips, it
was like a refreshing, mighty wind blowing through
my weary body and driving out all the heavy weight
of frustration and irritation. Those two beautiful
words completely shifted my attitude as I could hear
my Lord say, “Will you get up every time as if it were for
Me, Annie? — My itch, My ice pack, My pillows, My plea
for help?” My eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t
keep back a smile as I realized how quickly all my
frustration had melted away in light of His great
love and worthiness.
As I quickly got up to attend to Mum, I saw that
the shift of my motivation — doing it as unto Jesus
— was the very thing I needed to actually love her
better. And I saw that these two words were a
precious gift from my loving, Heavenly Father who
didn't want to just remove the challenges for me, but
cause me to become an overcomer in Christ Jesus
in the very midst of the challenges. And from out of
my weak life, shine forth His strength.
...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...
HEBREWS 12:1-2
43

LETTERS ON LIVING SET APART | issue No. 16
Yes, gladly, for You, Jesus! Each itch that needs
scratching, each long night-watch, each continual
interruption, each hardship, each change in my life
plan, each future uncertainty … You are worthy of
my hands opened wide in joyful surrender, doing the
next thing in front of me — whatever it is — with all my
heart, as unto You!
///
In the many days and nights that have followed
since our stay in the rehab facility, we've done away
with the ice packs and, to both God’s praise and
our joy, Mum can now scratch her own toes. But
the Lord has shown me countless new moments
to whisper “unto Jesus” and, by His grace, shift my
mindset from a response of the flesh to one walking
after the Spirit. I will readily admit that my heart
is not always quick to say it, and there have been
challenges harder than others in which to declare
these words. But each time that I have truly
surrendered my will and sincerely declared, “Unto
Jesus!” I have seen His grace come flooding in with
the power I need for that moment.
Dear sisters, we will never exhaust the Spirit’s
supply of all we have need of in Christ Jesus! What
a marvel that is! I know how easily I can forget the
strength that is there in Christ, available to me as
a daughter of the King, but my prayer recently has
been that God would permanently rest these two
beloved words on my tongue, ready to declare them
with each new struggle, challenge, difficult person,
wearisome task, life change, or uncertain future (and
not to forget every success, victory, and blessing
too!) — remembering that He is both our motivation
and our supply for everything we will face.
So, want to join me? Whisper or shout it out —
whichever your situation may call for! And may
these two words never lose their power to move
our hearts to swift, joyful action — for His joy and
for the glory due our precious King! Unto Jesus!
the end.
INSPIRED
LIFESTYLE
Download wallpapers for Facebook, iPad, smartphone, & desktop —
inspired by this article at www.setapartgirl.com/inspired-lifestyle
44

TEAM RECOMMENDATIONS
listen watch read
Mandy Recommends:
AMAZING GRACE the movie
It took me years to finally sit down to watch this movie
that I’d heard so much about. And once I did, I couldn’t
believe that it had taken me so long! As it chronicles
William Wilberforce's journey to fight injustice and end
slavery in his day, you will feel the weight of the strenuous
battle he fought with his life — and eventually saw won in
God’s perfect faithfulness.
The story portrayed in this film is one that stokes the
coals of my heart to live with true purpose, eternal
vision, and persevering passion for the call of God in
the very moment in which we live. I hope this powerful
presentation of William Wilberforce’s story will do the
same for you!
Jasmin Recommends:
MARRIAGE: A REVOLUTION AND A REVELATION
book by Elisabeth Elliot
The subtitle for this book is "A Supreme Earthly Test of Discipleship"
— and through the 50 short pages of this unfinished, unedited, and
previously unpublished draft (her own words), Elliot carves out a
biblical perspective of marriage in her characteristically direct and
often humorous manner. This short manuscript expounds on some of
Elisabeth's own marriage experiences and is full of incredible insights
and encouragements from Scripture. Written in 2010, just five years
before her death and with 40 years experience as a married woman,
this short work is sure to encourage anyone who wants a fresh, godly
perspective on marriage — whether single, engaged, or married!
(Available only online in PDF at ElisabethElliot.org/Draft.pdf)
45

FIRST
THINGS
FIRST
focusing on what is
most important
by HEATHER COFER
46

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
I
sat on the couch in our sunlight-filled living
room, surrounded by children's noises and
toys. It was a beautiful afternoon, but my mind
was far from enjoying the loveliness of the day.
My computer was on my lap, and I was trying to
finish an “urgent” email that I was already late in
replying to. As my son tugged on my arm asking
for a snack and the baby started crying, I could
feel my internal gauge going dangerously near the
“annoyance” zone … I just need to finish this email. I
wish my kids could just give me a few minutes without
needing something.
For the past several weeks, I could sense certain
areas of my life becoming more of a burden than
a joy, particularly on the home front. Dishes were
constantly piled beside the sink, baskets of unfolded
laundry lined our room, the children seemed
more fussy and needy than usual, and even little
things — like making lunch for my husband — felt
burdensome. As I sat in my living room that day,
I realized that things had gone off-course. I was
immediately convicted of my wrong thought pattern
and asked the Lord what had gone awry. It wasn’t
long before it became clear — I had neglected what I
knew to be my God-given priorities for other things.
I HAD NEGLECTED WHAT I KNEW
TO BE MY GOD-GIVEN PRIORITIES
FOR OTHER THINGS.
All of these “things” had not been bad in and
of themselves — meeting with other women,
47

48
...what should have been most
important had taken the back-burner...

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
volunteering for various tasks, having people over
two or three nights a week, taking on several
ministry needs, teaching piano, and trying to build
two other home businesses. Every spare moment
on our calendar was taken up with something,
and little by little what should have been most
important had taken the back-burner to these other
opportunities. My time with the Lord had become
sporadic, as I justified missing it far too often in
the name of "serving others". But as I looked back
on the effects of this pattern, I could see my error
so clearly. All along, even as I was making these
choices, I would have said that my first priority was
God, then my husband and children, but the way I
was living wasn’t backing that up. And now I was
reaping the consequences in my attitude, my family,
and my home.
I CHOSE TO ALLOW OTHER
"GOOD THINGS" TO CROWD
IN, AND IT ALL STARTED WITH
SMALL DECISIONS TO NOT PUT
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
From my mid-teen years, I knew God was calling me
to be a wife and mother. I got married at the age of
19, and almost two years later our first child came
into the world. I excitedly embraced motherhood,
even with its adjustments and unique challenges,
finding joy in knowing I was doing what God had
asked of me. But somewhere along the line, as life
got busier and other things began to look more
attractive, I lost the sharpness of vision that God
had placed on my heart. I chose to allow other
“good things” to crowd in, and it all started with
small decisions to not put first things first.
In this day and age, there is a seemingly endless
supply of opportunities available to us; hobbies,
college majors, job choices, and so on. Even in the
Christian world, there are many ministries to be a
part of and needs to be met, and we can take on
far too much and lose sight of what we know God
is calling us to.
When there is so much potential for distraction,
how do we keep our priorities in the right place?
As Christians, each one of us is called to have
Jesus Christ as our first priority. In Luke 14:26
Jesus uses very strong language in regards to
the seriousness of putting Christ first; “If anyone
comes to Me and does not hate his father and
mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes,
and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.”
We know by looking at the context of this verse
within Scripture as a whole that Jesus was trying
to make a point that He must be first, above
anything else that has our affection. Our love for
Him must be the source of every other area of
our lives.
The second priority, which goes hand-in-hand with
loving God, is loving others.
I LOST THE SHARPNESS
of vision that God had placed on my heart.
49

Highest
Priority
Matthew 22:36-40 says: “Teacher, which is the great
commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You
shall love the LORD your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is
the first and great commandment. And the second
is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
On these two commandments hang all the Law and
the Prophets.”
We cannot have love for God and not love others,
and we cannot truly love others without first loving
God. So as followers of Jesus, we need to be sure
that the priorities in our lives stem from both of
these things.
GOD WILL MAKE HIS PRIORITIES
FOR YOUR LIFE CLEAR AS YOU
SEEK HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART.
There are so many good things we can do, it can
be overwhelming to know how God desires of us
to prioritize them. But we can be sure that as we
obey Him in what we know is His will for every
Christian, He will lead us individually as well.
For me, as a wife and mother, I know that it is a
biblical mandate that I make loving my husband and
my children a very high priority. (See Titus 2:4.)
So if I choose to take on an opportunity that puts
unnecessary strain on these relationships, I am
not fulfilling the command to love my very closest
neighbors. There are intense seasons when I have
more on my plate than usual and time together as
a family is less than we would like it to be. But
as I prayerfully evaluate each opportunity with my
husband, we have seen over and over again that it
is God’s will, our family will only be strengthened
through it instead of being weakened by it.
Whatever your season of life, whether single,
married, a mother, or a grandmother, God will make
His priorities for your life clear as you seek Him
with all of your heart. You don’t have to be afraid
that you are going to miss the mark. Simply walk in
what you know He has set before you today.
50

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
During seasons of my life when I have lost focus on
what is most important, when I have found myself
trying to fit a swimming pool of commitments into
a teacup, the Lord has always been so gracious to
give the wisdom to show where my heart needs to
be changed and what needs to be put aside. And
as this shift happens, it brings a refreshment and
renewed excitement to do exactly what God has
called me to.
As you evaluate what God desires for you, here are
some practical steps that I have found to be helpful
in my own life.
MAKE TIME WITH GOD
OF HIGHEST PRIORITY
Because we are left with no doubt that God is
to be our highest priority, being with Him in prayer
and in His Word should be of utmost importance.
Remember, this is not a legalistic practice. It is how
we grow in our knowledge and love of our great
God and Savior. As we diligently seek Him, He will
make Himself known to us more and more, and
we will more clearly be able to discern how He is
leading on an individual level.
STRUCTURE YOUR LIFE
AROUND REVEALED
TRUTH
Some commands in Scripture for how Christians
ought to live are applicable to any and every life
situation, yet others are specific. For instance, all
of us are called to “Count others more significant
than [ourselves]...” (Phil. 2:3 ESV), and to exchange
sinful behaviors and attitudes for godly ones. (See
Colossians 3:8-14.) Wives are called to love their
51

SET APART LIVING | issue No. 16
husbands and children, and it is the older women
who are called to teach them how to do this. (See
Titus 2:4.) Take care to observe both the general
commands (for every Christian) and any that apply
directly to your stage in life (married, single,
older woman, younger woman, etc.). If we are
heeding and practicing these things, we can be
sure that God will direct us in the specifics, and
He will be glorified.
more. The other side of this coin is selfishness,
which comes when we choose to say no to
something we know God is asking of us. This is
putting ourselves as the priority rather than being
motivated by love for God and others. Whether
you choose to take on something or not, ask the
Lord to help you see clearly what your motivation
for doing (or not doing) it would be, and make a
decision out of obedience to Him.
LEARN TO SAY NO
If you’re anything like me, saying no is very, very
difficult. I want to be the person that everyone
can depend on. However, when I say yes to too
many things, the people that suffer the most are
usually the ones closest to me, who should be my
highest human priority. A phrase I heard a while
ago has stuck with me and been very helpful when
I am trying to make decisions: When I say “yes” to
one thing, I am saying “no” to something or someone
else. So, as we evaluate any new opportunity,
we have to ask ourselves what we would be
forfeiting if we decide to take it on. Prayerfully
bring it to the Lord, and also seek counsel from
a godly older woman, friend, or your husband (if
you’re married), to be sure you are doing what is
most important.
CHECK YOUR MOTIVES
One excuse I have used even when I know I
shouldn’t be committing to another thing is, “If I
don’t do it, who will?” What I’ve come to realize
is that the source of this question is pride. If God
doesn’t want me to do it, He has another person
in mind that will be better for the job. I am simply
responsible for what God desires of me, and no
ALLOWING THE LORD TO KEEP
US FOCUSED ON HIS PRIORITIES
FOR OUR LIVES WILL ALWAYS
BRING JOY AND CONTENTMENT
THAT CAN'T BE FOUND
ANYWHERE ELSE, NO MATTER
WHAT OTHER THINGS WE ARE
GIVING UP.
/ / /
I am so thankful for that day in my sunlit living
room. God brought the conviction I needed to
repent of the ways I had gone off-course, and
He continues to do so when my eyes begin to
wander. Allowing the Lord to keep us focused on
His priorities for our lives will always bring joy
and contentment that can’t be found anywhere
else, no matter what other things we are giving
up. As Elisabeth Elliot so beautifully expressed,
“The willingness to be and have just what God
wants us to be and have, nothing more, nothing
less, and nothing else, would set our hearts at
rest, and we would discover the simpler life, the
greater peace.”1
The end.
52
1. Elisabeth Elliot, “Elisabeth Elliot,” AZ Quotes: Wind and Fly LTD, 2016. 31 August 2017. http://www.azquotes.com/quote/442195

joy +
contentment
53

Cherishing the
Embracing the Beauty
of Christmastime
by MANDY SAELER
w
hen the world outside our window by the silence of the snow. In those quiet moments,
is covered with newly fallen snow, it seems that the snow is sent to slow us down and
there is a special beauty in those first moments of lead us back to simplicity.
peering out and taking in the sight. For just a little
while, our world feels more like a snow globe scene While snow globe scenes and horse-drawn sleigh
than our own reality, and we can freshly grasp why rides are whimsical notions for many of us, the
it’s often been said that the snow was intended to invitation of the snow can lead us to remember the
slow us down. Somehow, the snow seems to invite invitation that the season of Christmas extends to
us to stay home for the day, quiet the noise of our us. In the swirl of gift wrap, Christmas cards, and
busy lives, and gather together with the ones we holiday gatherings, we are invited to step away from
hold dear.
the normal rhythm of life and step into cherishing
the season, embracing our loved ones, and most of
A couple of years ago, I heard about an older couple all, celebrating the arrival of our Savior so long ago!
who enjoyed riding through the snow each year
in the wooden sleigh they owned. On these rides, While the Christmas season and celebrations may
they hitch up their horses and venture out beyond look different from one believer to the next, it is my
the roads and houses to the countryside. Beneath hope and prayer that this article will encourage you
winter’s sparkling blanket, nature is fast asleep and as you seek to shape a Christ-centered, bursting-atthe-seams-beautiful
the flurry of normal life is stilled. This couple says
holiday season! (And hopefully
that the beauty of sleigh riding is being surrounded it will provide you with some inspirational fuel, too!)
54
Here's to keeping Heaven's values in view this Christmas!

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS | issue No. 16
...so that in everything
He may have the supremacy.
COLOSSIANS 1:18
55

Hearts centered upon Christ
Saturate
Your Heart
with Light
Consider this little column your seven o’clock
evening invitation to my little Main Street apartment.
I’ll bake apples drizzled with cinnamon sauce, put on
a pot of coffee, and turn on the white twinkle lights.
As we spend this time together, I want to share with
you a few of the ways I’ve learned to sow deeper
beauty and meaning throughout the Christmas
season in my own life and in my relationships with
others. And together, we’ll set Christ first in this
holiday season!
As twenty-first century Christians, we are well-aware
of the burgeoning commercialization of the Christmas
season and the potential distractions this can raise for
each one of us. It’s true that we must take necessary
measures to protect the sacredness of this season.
And at the same time, we must also remember to live
with intentionality and actively nurture what is good,
lovely, and praiseworthy in our lives and homes! (See
Philippians 4:8 and Romans 12:21.) In other words,
we must be careful to not trade out celebration for
cynicism. And while we guard our hearts, we must
also remember to flood our hearts with the truth we
celebrate at Christmastime! With hearts centered
upon Christ, this truly can be the most wonderful
time of the year!
Here are some simple ways we can saturate our
hearts with the beauty and joy of the Gospel this
Christmas!
56

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS | issue No. 16
READ THE CHRISTMAS STORY OFTEN
Keep the biblical accounts of Christ’s coming
fresh upon your heart and ask God for insight into
this familiar story. As you read and re-read the
Christmas story throughout the holiday season,
take time to observe different nuances you may
not have noticed before. (e.g. Mary’s responses to
Christ throughout His lifetime, the delight of the
shepherds, the worship of the wise men opening
their treasure and presenting gifts, the behavior of
the world and Pharisees toward Jesus contrasted
with the weak and needy, etc.) And dive even
deeper into the Christmas story using the study
tips found in the Bible study article on page 72.
LEARN ABOUT CHRIST'S LINEAGE &
OLD TESTAMENT PROPHECIES
For an incredible study of Christ’s bloodline, listen
to the sermon, “Lineage of Majesty,” by Eric Ludy,
and also watch the short films, “He Is” and “Lineage
of Majesty.” These are amazing resources that will
draw your heart to worship your God!
To gain an enlightening perspective on the authority
of God’s Word and the Old Testament prophecies
that were fulfilled through Jesus Christ, listen to the
3-part sermon series “Canon” by Eric Ludy.* The
truth in these sermons has the power to bolster
your faith and change your life.
REJOICE IN TRUTH
Drawing parallels of truth in the midst of everydaydoings
is something I enjoy practicing as a way of
keeping my heart centered on Christ. Especially at
Christmastime, as we are surrounded with so many
symbolic traditions, finding these parallels can be
like walking through a treasure trove of truth!
For instance, when we cut out sugar cookies, we
can reflect on the Christ-centered symbolism of the
shapes — pine trees, candy canes, candles, stars,
and more. (If you are baking with family members
or children, talk about the meanings of these things
together!) Or as we string lights on our Christmas
tree and place candles on window sills, we can
reflect on the reality that Christ came and was the
Light of the world! We can meditate on light’s effect
on darkness, Christ’s effect on this world, and the
change that His light has made in our own souls.
Sowing the golden thread of truth all throughout
the traditions of the holiday season is a beautiful
way of “seeing” Christ in everything and celebrating
God’s love! (See Psalm 1:2-3.) Remember that
cultivating a Christ-centered Christmas season
comes in packages of all shapes and sizes! So step
out and get creative in the ways you fill your heart
and vision with the true meaning of Christmas!
PLAY BEAUTIFUL, CHRIST-CENTERED
CHRISTMAS MUSIC
This is a simple way to herald truth in your heart
and home throughout the Christmas season. Build
a playlist of your favorite Christmas songs, savor the
words, and adopt them as your own grateful songs
about what God has done!
*The sermons and short films mentioned here are available for free at BraveheartedChristian.com.
57

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS | issue No. 16
Give Life to
Your Loved
Ones
The Christmas season opens doors for good tidings to
be shared! Whether with those closest to us, the UPS
driver delivering Christmas packages, or the carolers that
arrive at our front door — at this time of year, people are
uniquely open to receiving warmth and kindness from
others! As we have received the ultimate “warmth and
kindness” through Christ, may we make the very most of
the opportunities before us to share that love.
TREASURE LOVED ONES
Purpose to be present with your loved ones this year.
As you bake treats or prepare your home for hosting
a holiday gathering — think upon them. Pray for them,
remember their virtues (despite your differences and
challenges), and reflect on the special memories you
share with them.
Consider the ways you can purpose to treasure the
people in your life this Christmas. Make a short bullet list
of goals or even map out specific measures you’ll take to
focus your heart and attention. (For instance, maybe you
will aim to capture 10 meaningful photos throughout
the holiday season for your personal memory album. Or
perhaps you’ll choose to fast from social media the week
of Christmas in order to be fully present.) During this
holiday season, may our loved ones know that they have
our time, attention, and affection.
58

CULTIVATE DEEPER CONVERSATION
A few years ago, I was in charge of coming up with an
activity for a Christmas party. Based on a dinner party
game I’d been introduced to in the past, I gathered
about 15 questions that would help facilitate fun and
meaningful conversations as we gathered together.
I wrote the questions/conversation starters out on
pieces of Christmas gift-wrap (on the white side)
and then folded them. Throughout the dessert time,
everyone took turns drawing the slips from a bowl and
then shared their question and answer. Though simple,
it proved to be a sweet way of sharing meaningful
conversation around the table.
Here are some examples:
• What Christ-centered holiday tradition is the most
meaningful to you?
• What Christmas song/carol do you most look forward
to singing and why?
• Share a special Christmas memory from your
childhood.
Are there ways you can cultivate meaningful
conversations with those around you? Whether at a
family gathering, or with a handful of co-workers, think
about how you can help spark deeper conversations.
(You can even store a few go-to questions in the back
of your mind to pull out when the opportunity arises!)
Conversing with others and asking unique questions
shows that you are interested in their lives and genuinely
care about them. Sharing in meaningful conversation will
also often give you the opportunity to share the joy in
your heart this Christmas, and why it truly is the happiest
season of all!
59

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS | issue No. 16
GIVE MEANINGFUL GIFTS
Think of the best gifts you’ve received in years past.
What was it about those gifts that made them “the
best”? Was it that someone remembered a detail
you mentioned in a casual conversation months
ago? Or took note of one of your unique interests?
When you are with your loved ones throughout
the year, remember to be attentive. Observe
them, listen when they speak, and ask intentional
questions. (If it helps, take time later to write
down the things that stood out!) When it comes
time for gift-giving, those details can be a great
source of inspiration!
As you set out on your gift-search this year,
remember that God is the best gift-giver and start
with prayer! Specifically pray for the individuals
you are shopping for, and ask God for wisdom and
specific guidance as you seek to bless them. (And
then be on the watch for the beautiful ways you’ll
see God’s fingerprints!) Giving your loved ones
meaningful gifts that “speak the language of their
heart” is a significant way of making them feel seen,
known, and loved — and who better to lead you in
this than God Himself!
ADD FLOURISH TO YOUR
HOLIDAY GREETINGS
Being a long-time fan of letter-writing and beautiful
stationery, I love the whole Christmas card experience!
From searching for the just-right cards and buying
holiday stamps, to writing choice words and addressing
envelopes — all the way down to taking the envelopes
to my mailbox and sticking the flag up! And best of
all is the thought of the cards arriving to the homes
of my loved ones — my hope is that they feel warmly
remembered and genuinely loved!
When you sit down to write Christmas cards this
year, think about ways you can add some flourish to
your holiday greetings! Share a special memory you
have with the person, something you appreciate
about them, or why you count them as a blessing in
your life. Or you can share what you treasure about
the holiday season, or something you are looking
forward to in the new year! While it takes time
to add personalization to each card (even if just a
sentence or two), remember that the love you share
will mean so much!
Sharing in deeper conversation, giving meaningful
gifts, and writing Christmas cards to the special
people in my life are all things that I cherish. But
what about you? Cherishing the Christmas season
will look slightly differently for each one of us. I’ve
detailed these areas because they are what come
naturally to me — but consider what God has gifted
you with and how He stirs your heart. Think of
creative ways that you can minister with the gifts
He’s given you to bring the refreshing beauty of
Christ’s love into your holiday season!
/ / /
Whether your Christmas is spent far away from
family, or nestled in your childhood home with
those you hold dear — remember to embrace the
sacred invitation of the holiday season to still
the noise, cherish the Gospel, and love those
around you.
May your days be merry and bright as you wholeheartedly
celebrate our King who came — and is
coming again!
the end.
60

Still the noise,
cherish the Gospel,
and love those
around you.
61

THIS ARTICLE IS PUBLISHED IN
LESLIE'S MOTHERHOOD DEVOTIONAL:
“Creative Mothering"
Read more or purchase at
www.setapartmotherhood.com
Creative Celebrations
MAKING FAMILY MILESTONES MEANINGFUL
by LESLIE LUDY
photos by TIERNEY CYANNE PHOTOGRAPHY
62

SET APART FAMILY | issue No. 16
CELEBRATING SPECIAL MILESTONES HAS BEEN ONE OF
THE KEY PRINCIPLES THAT HAS BUILT OUR FAMILY UNITY
STRONG AND KEPT OUR RELATIONSHIPS THRIVING.
Over twenty years ago, Eric and I were
married on a bright December day.
While our wedding was traditional in
many ways, it was certainly not ordinary or run-ofthe-mill.
Almost everything in our ceremony was a
unique, symbolic remembrance of the significant
ways God had worked in our relationship; a
celebration of the milestones and memories we
had experienced throughout our love story. We
also emphasized the significance of the solemn
covenant that we were entering into. We hallmarked
our commitment to serve each other through a
foot-washing ceremony. We demonstrated our
dependence upon God’s supernatural enabling
grace by having the church elders, as well as our
family members, surround us in prayer. We took
communion as a remembrance of what it means to
love each other the way Christ loves us. And we
saved our first kiss for our wedding day, as a symbol
of the reality that two lives had now become one.
Our goal was not simply to have a beautiful wedding;
it was to remember, hallmark, and celebrate all that
God had done and all that He was yet to do in our
relationship.
Looking back, there are things about our wedding
that I would do differently if I was planning a
wedding today. (For example, instead of hosting
300 guests in a fancy church, I’d probably just do a
simple family gathering in a quiet outdoor setting.)
But even more than twenty years later, I do not
regret the fact that we took time to commemorate
the sacredness of our marriage covenant or to
testify to God’s amazing faithfulness throughout
our relationship. When I look back at pictures or
video from that amazing day, I am immediately
brought back to the wonder of all that God did
when He wrote our love story. It reminds me of the
importance of always keeping Him at the center
of our marriage and family relationships, and how
beautiful those relationships can be when we do.
As the years have gone by, I’ve noticed that when I
let the discipline of celebration fall by the wayside,
life can seem grey and ordinary. But when I take time
to hallmark all that God has done, it brings sparkle
and beauty back into my daily life and relationships.
At one point before we had children, Eric and I
realized that we hadn’t taken the time to create
memories or celebrations in our home for quite
some time. We were busy working and traveling,
and suddenly we noticed that some of the color
and sparkle had drained out of our daily lives. We
decided to begin a tradition called “Scraps” in which
we would remember and record all the special,
funny, and/or significant things that happened in
a given month. We created memory albums that
63

SET APART FAMILY | issue No. 16
IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT WE TAKE TIME TO SLOW DOWN,
APPRECIATE EACH OTHER, REMEMBER WHAT GOD HAS DONE
IN OUR FAMILIES, AND CELEBRATE HIS FAITHFULNESS.
contained photos, cards, letters, and anecdotes
of funny or meaningful things that happened in
our lives, and suddenly life had sparkle again. Not
only that, but taking time to commemorate special
things that had happened in our lives helped us
continually remember God’s faithfulness and
providence in our lives.
As our family has grown throughout the years, Eric
and I have tried to be purposeful about hallmarking
and commemorating significant milestones and
celebrating special moments. Celebrating special
milestones has been one of the key principles
that has built our family unity strong and kept our
relationships thriving.
For moms today, life is almost always busy, but
it’s so important that we take time to slow down,
appreciate each other, remember what God has
done in our families, and celebrate His faithfulness.
Every mom will be different in how she chooses
to accomplish this, but I encourage you to spend
some time thinking about creative ways in which
you can celebrate the things that are important to
your family.
To help spark some ideas, I’d like to share a few of
the celebration activities that have made the most
impact in our home:
a welcome ceremony
When each of our children came into our family
(through birth or adoption), we’ve held a special
ceremony in our home with close friends and
family. During the ceremony, we prayed over
the new child and read special letters of love and
welcome written by each significant person in his
or her life. Afterwards, we placed the letters and
other memorabilia from that “welcome ceremony”
into a special memory album for the child. I love
looking back at these wonderful memories, and my
kids love hearing me read their special “crib notes”
to them. It helps them recognize how much they
have been loved and cherished from the first day
of they arrived into our home.
64

a yearly album
Each year, we create a digital photo album
highlighting all of the special moments and
significant memories from that year. Eric and I
have a tradition each night where we remember
all the cute or funny things our kids did and said
that day. I keep record of these little anecdotes in a
special file on my computer, and at the end of the
year I combine these memories with photos we’ve
taken (or had our photographer friends take) of our
family and compile an album, using a simple digital
template. (I would never have time to do elaborate
scrapbooking, so I love how easy and quick modern
technology makes this!) I order hardback copies
of the album and give them out as Christmas gifts
to close family members, and have an extra one
printed for our coffee table. Our kids love looking
through these albums and remembering all the
family memories we have made together. And even
during seasons when our kids’ behavior seems to
have gone south and our house feels like a disaster,
looking through those albums reminds me how
beautiful and fulfilling our family life really is.
memory videos
For the extra-special things that happen in our
family, we compile memory videos. These are
short videos that blend music and words with a
collection of video clips from significant moments.
With modern technology, these are relatively easy
to put together. (And thankfully we have some
wonderful friends who are extra-talented in making
videos, who have graciously offered to help us with
some of these!) Our family absolutely loves sitting
down together and watching these videos and
remembering all that God has done. When Harper
came home from Korea, Eric put together a video
of our first moments and first day with her. It never
fails to bring tears to my eyes and I am reminded of
the wonder and beauty of holding her for the first
time. When Rees and Lily came home from Haiti,
our beloved friend Annie Wesche (who lived with
them in Haiti for the first two years of their lives)
put together an amazing short video about their
first moments home. It is truly impossible for me to
watch it without crying and thanking God for the
miracle of bringing these children home.
65

SET APART FAMILY | issue No. 16
birthdays
In our large family, it seems like there is always a
child’s birthday coming up. In the busyness of
managing daily logistics and meeting the demands
of ministry, I am sometimes tempted to breeze
quickly by my kids’ birthdays with little more than
a cupcake and birthday song after dinner. But
birthdays are an excellent opportunity to pause
and celebrate the life of the precious child God has
given us. Birthdays can also be a wonderful time
to remind our child how special they are to us and
how significant their lives are. I have found that
when I invest time, thought, creativity, and energy
into each of my children’s birthdays, it breeds
tremendous family closeness and builds memories
that I know will last a lifetime. There are a few things
that I’ve found especially helpful in making my kids'
birthdays meaningful and special:
1) BUILD ANTICIPATION – A week or two
before their birthday, we start a daily countdown to
their special day. If they have a calendar, we draw
a birthday balloon or party hat on the square that
marks their birthdate! Because of the anticipation
we create, the birthday child often senses surprise
plans brewing among the other siblings and it makes
their coming “big day” that much more fun. Our kids
also came up with a pre-birthday tradition that they
call “The Birthday Eve” which was inspired by our
Christmas Eve celebrations. On the night before
their birthday, they get to pick one special thing
to do such as going out for dinner with Mommy or
Daddy, or going out to get ice cream with the family.
The excitement and joy they experience on their
“Birthday Eve” is just about equal to their actual
birthday, and it makes the celebration last longer.
2) SPECIAL MOMMY AND DADDY TIME
Whenever possible, we try to make birthdays a
time when we spend extra one-on-one time with
our kids. Whether it’s a special one-on-one dinner
out the night before their birthday, or a Mommyand-me
lunch on their big day, spending a bit of
extra individualized time with our child is always
meaningful. Sometimes (when our schedule isn’t
too crazy), we even arrange childcare for the other
siblings and take our child on a special getaway to
66

a hotel for the night, which never fails to be one of
the biggest highlights of their year.
3) BIRTHDAY MORNING BREAKFAST – Before
our kids wake up on their big day, either Eric or
I venture out early in the morning to purchase a
special card (usually a musical one!) and big bunch
of helium balloons in their favorite colors. We
decorate the table with birthday fare and serve
waffles with sprinkles on them. The birthday
child gets a candle in his or her waffle, and extra
sprinkles! When the birthday child comes to the
breakfast table, the first thing he or she hears is
the family singing the birthday song. After the
birthday child blows out the candle, we take
turns going around the table and sharing things
that we appreciate about him or her and why we
are blessed to have that child in our family. It’s a
meaningful way to kick off their birthday, and it
reminds them how much they are loved.
4) MEMORABLE PARTIES – Admittedly,
throwing amazing birthday parties can be a bit
overwhelming for a busy mom, and I am certainly
no exception. Often when I browse Pinterest for
children’s party ideas I end up feeling more daunted
than inspired. But I am blessed with a mother who
lives nearby and who specializes in coming up with
great party ideas. I get a lot of inspiration, help, and
ideas from her. I also talk to my kids and find out
what kind of party would be special for them. For
example, my son Kipling had a birthday just a week
after our toddlers arrived home from Haiti. It was
a hectic time, but I didn’t want his birthday to get
lost in the shuffle. I asked him what kind of birthday
party he would love to have, and he told me he
wanted a “lion birthday” which gave me the idea for
a safari party.
I did some research and found a place not too
far away that had rescued tigers, lions, and other
large cats where the public could come and visit.
We took our family to see them as a surprise for
Kipling. He was amazed and overjoyed as he got
up close to the cheetahs, tigers, and lions. He kept
saying, “This is the best birthday ever! Thank you
so much for bringing me here!” After the visit to
the rescue shelter, we went home and hosted a
67

TAKING TIME TO STOP AND REMEMBER WHAT GOD
HAS DONE IN OUR FAMILIES IS A CRUCIAL PART OF
CULTIVATING BOTH GRATITUDE AND GREATER FAITH IN HIM.
simple safari party for Kip, his siblings, and a few
of his little friends. Thanks to help from my mom
and other family members, we made binoculars out
of toilet paper rolls, went on an animal hunt in the
backyard (using plush jungle animals as our props),
and even roasted hot dogs around a real campfire
“in the wild.”
In the past years, we have also hosted a splishysplashy
dolphin party for Avy, a lively carnival in
the backyard for Hudson, and a cuddly doggy party
for Harper. Each party was uniquely catered to the
birthday child’s specific loves and interests. Thanks
to the wonderful help I receive from my parents,
friends, and other family members, our kids’ birthday
parties are always memorable, creative, and special,
and I know they will remember them for many years
to come.
Even if you don’t have the ability or support
system to put on elaborate birthday celebrations, I
encourage you to look for simple, creative ways to
celebrate your child’s special day in a way that will
be meaningful to him or her. If your son is an animal
lover, maybe a fun day at the zoo and some animalthemed
treats would be the perfect fit. Or if your
daughter loves girly activities, a feminine tea party
where she can get dressed up and have fancy finger
foods might make her year. There is no shortage of
ideas online, but I’ve found that often the best way
to come up with birthday ideas is simply by paying
attention to my kids’ unique interests and passions,
and then build their birthdays around those themes.
For example, my daughter Harper had been
expressing an interest in horses. So for her birthday
present this year, I gave her a gift certificate for a
private horseback-riding lesson at a nearby riding
center. She was overjoyed that I remembered the
special interest in horses that she had expressed
during our casual conversations.
Some parents have the philosophy that making a big
deal out of a child’s birthday will cause them to think
too highly of themselves. But I disagree. While I don’t
think a child’s birthday should provide an excuse for
them to act selfishly or get whatever they want, I
also don’t think birthdays should be overlooked or
downplayed. Celebrating the life of the child God has
entrusted to us is a wonderful way to rejoice in His
good and perfect gifts, and it’s also a wonderful way
to help build a strong sense of love, family unity, and
security in the heart of our child.
I find it fascinating that God commanded His
chosen people to commemorate significant spiritual
milestones with special celebration and feasts.
Taking time to stop and remember what God has
done in our families is a crucial part of cultivating
both gratitude and greater faith in Him. No matter
what challenges you may be facing in life, there is
always a reason to rejoice when we have Him!
the end.
68

SET APART FAMILY | issue No. 16
cultivate
gratitude
& faith
69

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71

A SET APART GIRL ® SERIES: CALVARY LOVE
by NRJOHNSON
Sweeter
THAN HONEY
Bible Study –
Part
Two
72

WARRIOR POET | issue No. 16
I LOVE
THE CONCEPT
OF BAKING.
Growing up, my mom was a fantastic cook for the
family and weekly would bake bread and other
goodies that we could hardly wait to gobble up.
And nothing, in my mind, was better than a piece
of warm bread, pulled from the oven, dripping
with real butter and honey. My mouth waters just
thinking about it.
When I left home and was out on my own, I decided
to try my hand at the art of making bread. It fell flat.
Literally. So I resorted to buying bread for the next
few years.
A year ago, I decided to try again and jumped in
with both feet — buying a Bosch mixer. I like fancy
kitchen gadgets, and this one came with all the bells
and whistles. I even splurged on a stone grain mill so
I could make my own healthy wheat flour.
The days of amazing bread-baking was near — I
could smell it.
I was ready. I had enthusiasm, the right tools, and
fresh wheat berries ready to grind.
I popped my mixture into the oven and voilà! Yet
something other than bread came out. I’m not sure
what it was, but it was inedible and ended up in
the trash. I tried again, with the same lackluster
trash-bin result.
What was I doing wrong?
I consulted my mom, a few church ladies who
regularly bake bread, the Bosch recipe book, and
even watched several how-to videos on YouTube.
The conclusion — my process was wrong.
Apparently the order of mixing ingredients and then
giving bread time to rise DO matter! Who knew?!?
The same is true in Bible study.
THE RIGHT TOOLS
and time
73

THE BIBLE STUDY
Process
Much like baking bread, the process of Bible study
is important. While a myriad of “recipes” for good
Bible study are available, let me give you one that
is easy to use — the one I have used for more than
a decade.
Before you study a passage, I encourage you to
read the verse(s) through several times and spend
time in prayer, asking the Author Himself to give
you wisdom and insight into His Word.
Now you can ask three key questions.
1) What does it say? (OBSERVATION)
The first question is to gain an understanding
of the passage itself — what do you see in the
passage? What does it say?
Grab a piece of paper and pen (or your computer)
and begin to list everything you see in the passage;
it will be amazing how much you discover.
The purpose is not to come to conclusions or find
how the passage applies to your life — you merely
want to know what the passage says. Look at the
context (the verses that come before and after
your passage), look up difficult words, ask lots of
questions, and make simple observations.
An elementary school teacher brought a goldfish
into her classroom and had the students tell her
what they noticed about the fish. At first, they said
things like “it’s orange” and “it breathes water.” But
as she continued to press them to keep going, they
noticed things they didn’t see at first — “the fish
had a black dot behind his right eye” and “his left
fin moves faster than his right.”
Good observations take time. Don’t rush. Be
patient. Keep looking.
Ask yourself the classic journalist questions —
who, what, when, where, why, how? Here are a
few more to consider:
• What is happening? Who is speaking? Who is
the audience? What is being spoken, and what
is not being said?
• What is the tone, mood, or attitude of what
I'm studying? (Every author has a "voice" or
"tone.")
• What do certain words mean? Look up
words you don't know, or better yet, get
on a website like blueletterbible.org, type
in the passage, and look up Hebrew/Greek
Ask the Author Himself to give you
wisdom and insight into His Word.
74

WARRIOR POET | issue No. 16
definitions, descriptions, and what other
verses in Scripture use that word.
• Is there anything I can discover through
the grammar? (Yes, sometimes grammar is
important.)
• Is there any historical or cultural background I
need to know?
• Is there anything from the context that might
affect my understanding of the passage?
• Visit deeperChristian.com/observations to
download a list of 50+ great questions to ask in
the observation stage of Bible study.
We don’t ask, “What does it mean to ME?” Rather,
we ask, “What did the passage mean to the original
audience the author wrote to?”
The author wasn’t writing specifically to you in the
twenty-first century, he was writing with a specific
purpose to an audience in a particular culture and
historical setting.
For example, the book of Ephesians was written by
Paul to the believers in Ephesus with the purpose
to exhort them to build their lives around Jesus
Christ (i.e. to live from their position IN Christ).
When I study a passage in Ephesians, I must
remember that the interpretation must be from
Remember, you are not making any conclusions
or interpreting what the passage means — you are
only observing.
Observation will take the longest time of the
three key steps in the Bible study process. Don’t
rush! Like giving a good loaf of bread time to rise,
it’s important to give the Holy Spirit time to reveal
truth to you. If you sprint through the observation
stage to get to the application, you will often miss
the depth of truth Jesus wants to reveal.
2) What does it mean? (INTERPRETATION)
Once you’ve read the passage through several
times and walked through the observation stage,
you are ready to ask: “What does it mean?”
Good
observations
take time.
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the perspective of Paul writing to first-century
Christians living in Ephesus.
to a proper conclusion. The three steps are all
important — and should be done in order.
In the interpretation stage, I transition from
observing the text to asking: What do all these
observations tell me about what the author said
to his audience? What is the truth concept in the
text? What is the principle the author wants his
audience to know and apply? How would you
express the concept/principle in a single sentence?
Once you discover a principle or concept from
within Scripture, it demands a response. That leads
us to ask the third question.
3) What does it change? (APPLICATION)
At this point, you’ve made observations and
discovered the principle or truth concept from
the passage. You can now ask: What does it
change in me? How does this apply to my life?
Hebrews 4:12 says, “the word of God is living
and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged
sword, piercing even to the division of soul and
spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner
of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” When
you approach the Word with the desire to be
examined, pierced, and transformed, you can rest
assured God will do it.
Too often in Bible study, we either rush to the
application or skip it altogether. Like a good
recipe, the order is important — if you make a few
observations and jump to application, you may have
missed the whole concept (i.e. you don’t really know
what the passage means). If you try to figure out
what it means without observing, you won’t come
Do not neglect this last question. Your life will only
change when you allow the Word to be applied.
To skip this step limits your study to information
and academics, but allowing the Spirit of God
to apply the truth to your life causes growth
and transformation. This goes back to what
we discussed in the last magazine issue — the
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WARRIOR POET | issue No. 16
purpose of Bible study is to grow in our intimacy
with Jesus Christ and to be transformed by truth.
If transformation is your desire, you will often find
yourself squirming in your chair, being convicted
by truth, and knowing what the Holy Spirit desires
to change in your life to shape you into a woman
of the Word — with the heart, mind, and attitude
of Jesus. Allow the Spirit to measure your life
against the Bible and to change whatever doesn’t
measure up.
For more than a decade, I have found an incredible
richness in the study of God’s Word. It continues
to change my life as I seek greater intimacy with
Jesus Christ. I don’t want to be the same person
next year as I am today — I long for growth and
transformation … don’t you?
And just as it has taken me time to understand
how to bake a good loaf of bread, I am confident
you can know (and experience) how to study
God’s Word for yourself.
PUT IT INTO
Practice
It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Take a passage, read
it through several times, and ask three questions.
While we could layer on advanced levels of study,
if you’re new to Bible study, start here.
Baking bread is easy — once you know what you’re
doing. The same is true with Bible study. Don’t
get me wrong, it is hard work and will take time,
but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Don’t get
frustrated if you struggle in the beginning. Use
it as an opportunity to cling all the more to the
Author — asking Him to reveal and apply the truth
of His Word to you.
In this eight-week Bible study guide, I want to
guide you through the Bible study process by
applying the three questions to Philippians 4:8,
where Paul gives us a list of eight things we
should think upon.
I invite you to join me on this exciting journey
of diving into God’s Word to know Him more.
Though this guide may appear simple, it has the
potential to radically change your life as you seek
to grow in intimacy with Christ through His Word.
Know I am praying for you and cheering you on
into the endless depths of Jesus and His Word.
the end.
NRJOHNSON is a writer, teacher, and communicator who helps Christians build their lives around Jesus
Christ. His passion is for believers to gain greater intimacy with Jesus, understand God’s Word, experience the
victorious Christian life, and transform the world through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. He is an avid
follower of Set Apart Girl Magazine and proudly showcases them on his living room coffee table. Connect with his
ministry and learn more about how to study the Bible at: DEEPERCHRISTIAN.COM/BIBLE.
77

Seek to grow in
INTIMACY
WITH CHRIST
through His Word
78

Ready to get started?
WEEK ONE: OVERVIEW
READ PHILIPPIANS AT LEAST TWICE THIS WEEK (THOUGH EVERY
DAY IS PREFERABLE). THIS WILL HELP YOU WITH THE OVERALL
CONTEXT AND FOCUS OF THE BOOK.
KEY PRAYER: ASK GOD (THE AUTHOR) TO PREPARE YOUR HEART
AND GIVE YOU INSIGHT INTO HIS WORD.
QUESTIONS TO ASK & THOUGHTS FOR STUDY:
+ Who is the author of Philippians?
+ Who is he writing to? From reading the book, what do you know
about the people, their struggles, their desires, etc.?
+ Read Philippians 4:4-9 several times. How do verses 4-7 affect what
we are to "think upon" in verse 8?
The context for our passage (Philippians 4:4-7) is full of commands: rejoice, be known
by your gentleness, don’t be anxious, make your requests known to God (by prayer and
supplication with gratitude). The result of which is a simple statement of fact: “the peace
of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ
Jesus.” Paul then tells us what to think upon (4:8). Recognize that it is through Christ Jesus,
who is our peace (Eph. 2:14), that we are able to think the way we ought. Having the mind
of Christ (Phil. 2:5) does not come through self-effort or human ability. The only way to
think differently — having a godly mind in which you think about what is true, noble, just,
pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy — is to submit and surrender every
thought to Jesus and allow Him to guard and protect your heart and mind.
*To read six articles I wrote on this passage, which may help give you additional thoughts
for your study, please visit: deeperChristian.com/whatever.
TURN THE PAGE FOR
THE NEXT 7 LESSONS!
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WEEK TWO: WHATEVER IS TRUE
» OBSERVATION: WHAT DOES IT SAY?
• Make observations on the word true, especially in light of the
context of 4:4-9. Here are some helpful suggestions to get you
started:
• What is truth? Is it more than just facts and information?
• How can we know the truth?
• Go to blueletterbible.org and type in Philippians 4:8. Click on
“tools” to the left of the verse to open up the interlinear tab. On
the word “true,” click on the Strong’s Number (G227) to view the
original Greek word. What information can you find on this word
(alēthēs)? Check out the definitions under “outline of biblical usage.”
Read the other verses where this word shows up by viewing the
concordance at the bottom of the page.
• What other passages in Scripture do you know that talk about
truth? (i.e. read John 1:14-17; 8:32; 14:6; 16:13; 17:17; etc.)
» INTERPRETATION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
• What would it mean to be a first-century Christian in the midst of a
pagan culture with a myriad of ideologies commissioned by Paul to
think upon truth?
• How would you state the truth nugget/concept in a single sentence?
» APPLICATION: WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?
• How can you specifically and practically apply this truth to your life
today … this week?
WEEK THREE: WHATEVER IS NOBLE
» OBSERVATION: WHAT DOES IT SAY?
• Make observations on the word noble (some translations say
“honest” or “honorable”), especially in light of the context of 4:4-9.
Here are some helpful suggestions to get you started:
• What does it mean for something to be noble, honest, or
honorable?
• How can we know that something is noble?
• Go to blueletterbible.org and do a word study on noble (semnos –
G4586). (See week two’s study for details on how to do it.)
• Why can this word be translated noble, honest, or honorable? What
makes those translations the same and different? What insight does
that give you on the word?
» INTERPRETATION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
• What would it mean to be a first-century Christian commissioned
by Paul to think upon that which noble, honest, and honorable?
• How would you state the truth nugget/concept in a single sentence?
» APPLICATION: WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?
• How can you specifically and practically apply this truth to your life
today … this week?
WEEK FOUR: WHATEVER IS JUST
» OBSERVATION: WHAT DOES IT SAY?
• Make observations on the word just, especially in light of the
context of 4:4-9. Here are some helpful suggestions to get you
started:
• As an adjective, the word “just” can be translated “righteous.” What
insight does this give you?
• Go to blueletterbible.org and do a word study on just (dikaios –
G1342). (See week two’s study for details on how to do it.)
• This word is sometimes used to describe God. (See John 17:25,
Acts 3:14; 7:52; 22:14, 1 John 2:1.) Also, we learn the righteous
(dikaios) shall live by faith (Gal. 3:11, Heb. 10:38) and their prayer
is powerful and effective (Jms. 5:16). Look up these verses and list
any observations/insights you gain.
» INTERPRETATION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
• What would it mean to be a first-century Christian commissioned
by Paul to think upon that which just/righteous? Consider the fact
that the Greek/Roman culture used this word to describe a person
who was duty-bound to the gods or other people.
• How would you state the truth nugget/concept in a single sentence?
» APPLICATION: WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?
• How can you specifically and practically apply this truth to your life
today … this week?
WEEK FIVE: WHATEVER IS PURE
» OBSERVATION: WHAT DOES IT SAY?
• Make observations on the word pure, especially in light of the
context of 4:4-9. Here are some helpful suggestions to get you
started:
• Go to blueletterbible.org and do a word study on pure (hagnos –
G53). (See week two’s study for details on how to do it.)
• The word pure in our passage is from the same root as the word
“saint” and is defined as holy, morally clean, and undefiled. In
a similar sense, a saint is one who is set apart, undefiled, and
uninfluenced by the world around them. What insight does this
give?
» INTERPRETATION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
• What would it mean to be a first-century Christian living in a sinsoaked
world (much like ours) commissioned by Paul to think upon
that which pure and holy?
• How would you state the truth nugget/concept in a single sentence?
» APPLICATION: WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?
• How can you specifically and practically apply this truth to your life
today … this week?
80

WEEK SIX: WHATEVER IS LOVELY
» OBSERVATION: WHAT DOES IT SAY?
• Make observations on the word lovely, especially in light of the
context of 4:4-9. Here are some helpful suggestions to get you
started:
• Go to blueletterbible.org and do a word study on lovely (prosphilēs
– G4375). (See week two’s study for details on how to do it.)
• Note that the Greek word prosphilēs is made up of two Greek
words. One is the word for “toward” the other is the word “love”
(phileo). A good translation would be “that which pushes you toward
love” or “that which calls forth love.”
» INTERPRETATION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
• What would it mean to be a first-century Christian commissioned
by Paul to think upon that which is lovely?
• How would you state the truth nugget/concept in a single sentence?
» APPLICATION: WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?
• How can you specifically and practically apply this truth to your life
today … this week?
WEEK SEVEN: WHATEVER IS OF GOOD REPORT
» OBSERVATION: WHAT DOES IT SAY?
• Make observations on the word good report, especially in light of
the context of 4:4-9. Here are some helpful suggestions to get you
started:
• Go to blueletterbible.org and do a word study on good report
(euphēmos – G2163). (See week two’s study for details on how to
do it.)
• Note Philippians 4:8 is the only time this word shows up in the
New Testament. The word comes from the pagan culture where a
moment of silence was taken before they offered a sacrifice to the
gods. That moment of holy silence was called “good report.” The
idea is that what is spoken before a sacrifice is what the gods would
hear. Paul is saying that our minds are to be of “holy silence,” or in
other words, we are to only think upon the things that are fit for
God to hear. The words on our lips and the thoughts in our mind
should be pleasing and acceptable for God to hear.
» INTERPRETATION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
• What would it mean to be a first-century Christian commissioned
by Paul to think upon that which is of good report?
• How would you state the truth nugget/concept in a single sentence?
» APPLICATION: WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?
• How can you specifically and practically apply this truth to your life
today … this week?
WEEK EIGHT:
WHATEVER IS VIRTUOUS & PRAISEWORTHY
» OBSERVATION: WHAT DOES IT SAY?
• Make observations on the words virtue and praise, especially in light
of the context of 4:4-9. Here are some helpful suggestions to get
you started:
• Go to blueletterbible.org and do a word study on virtue (aretē –
G703) and praise (epainos – G1868). (See week two’s study for
details on how to do it.)
• What insight does 1 Peter 2:9 and 2 Peter 1:3-7 give to our
understanding of virtue?
• How do the Psalms and their declaration to “praise God” help our
understanding of this passage?
» INTERPRETATION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
• What would it mean to be a first-century Christian commissioned
by Paul to think upon that which is virtuous and praiseworthy?
• How would you state the truth nugget/concept in a single sentence?
» APPLICATION: WHAT DOES IT CHANGE?
• How can you specifically and practically apply this truth to your life
today … this week?
81

Q
&A
What do you
think about
jobs that aren't
necessarily
"Christian"?
Is it possible to live a set apart life
for God and have a "regular" job?
(Such as being an interior designer,
photographer, nutritionist, etc.)
For this Q&A, we’ve asked two set
apart ladies to share their insights
with you — we trust you’ll be
encouraged by their perspectives!
82

Answered by:
CHRISTY G. | ENGLAND, UK
I believe that living for Jesus in the “secular” or business world is essentially the same as living for Him
anywhere else. Although the daily activities of a music teacher in America, for example, may be very
different than those of a Bible translator deep in the jungle somewhere, the job is not “Christian”; you
are the Christian, and wherever God calls you to walk that out, do it with all your heart! You belong
to Christ, so He is your authority and your highest goal. As you walk with Him each day — seeking
His Kingdom first, and allowing His Spirit to teach you what to do in each situation — He will receive
glory. We read in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the
glory of God” (ESV). Whether He calls you to feed orphans in a war-torn country, help your mom care
for younger siblings at home, or become a brain surgeon, the important part is not so much what you
do as a job, but how you do it. If the Spirit of God is ruling your life, people will see Him through you!
Answered by:
LAURA R. | CO, USA
Something that the Lord has taught me while working in both a ministry job and other vocations
(barista, daycare worker, etc.) is that my occupation does not determine my set-apartness or
righteousness.
Rather, how do I come to work each day? Do I enter each morning with an attitude that says it’s
“just another day of work” or do I begin it with a mindset of expectancy for how the Lord will grow
and use me that day?
As Paul says, “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that
from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ” (Col.
3:23-23). A dear friend once told me, “I want to know Jesus more by the time I’ve finished washing
the dishes or getting the mail than when I began.” It made me think: Is this how I live my life? Or do
I simply go through the tasks ahead of me?
A key to living set apart, no matter what your life holds, is learning to be intentional with every
moment that you have — whether it’s “doing ministry” or simply filing papers or changing diapers
— do you do it with the same heart in both situations? Let’s approach each day with this attitude:
“Jesus, I desire to know You more through this!”
Have your own question?
Email questions@setapartgirl.com to submit one &
we may feature it in an upcoming issue!
83

BIBLICAL INSPIRATION FOR
BECOMING A CHRIST-CENTERED WOMAN
O come, let us adore Him
_ Christ the Lord!
– JOHN FRANCIS WADE
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