Cultural Times ISSUE 7 FEB 2021

QUOTE
Inclusion and the ability to grow your
cultural intelligence is not a matter of
political correctness. It is the key to the
future. The key to growth and being an
outstanding leader.
TANYA FINNIE
Global Cultural Strategist
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1 | 5 |

the backdrop of COVID-19, an increasing number of employees are feeling
Against
levels of anxiety. Recent research suggests around seven in ten workers
heightened
suffering burnout in the wake of COVID with the biggest issue being the lack of
are
between work and private lives (thanks to remote working). Add to that
separation
fact that pay cuts have been common, workloads have increased, work hours
the
decreased and general feelings of anxiety - relating to the pandemic; burnout
have
lead to change and change
Pandemics
often lead to stress. Stress of
can
could easily lead to burnout.
course
without appropriate
Unfortunately,
management, it can affect our
stress
mental, and emotional health.
physical,
recognising the signs and
Therefore
to manage this kind of stress is
how
to avoid burnout. Burnout is
crucial,
an officially recognisable
now
costing billions a year. The
condition,
Health Organisation reports
World
refers specifically to
burnout
in an occupational context
phenomena
should not be applied to describe
and
in other areas of life.
experiences
caring for sick
Home-schooling,
and worrying about job
relatives
are all common causes of
security
during these unprecedented
stress
Add to this the lack of separation
times.
work life and private life and
between
is not surprising to see burnout
it
and productivity dipping.
increasing
demonstrates burnt out
Research
have decreased situational
employees
Being less aware of your
awareness.
can increase workplace
surroundings
(environmental), cause
accidents
(social) and decrease
conflict
(profit) – each which has
productivity
impact on your bottom triple line.
an
COVID
BURNOUT
seems inevitable.
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | O C T 2 0 2 1 | 6 |

are many signs, but they are not all are easy to spot. You may see anxiety,
There
anger, and irritability amongst staff or within yourself. Other symptoms
depression,
a weakened immune response, trouble sleeping or sleeping more, low
include
high blood pressure, a variety of aches and pains or even cardiovascular
energy,
In a work environment you will see decreased productivity, difficulties
impacts.
sudden emotional outbreaks, resentment and feeling of
concentrating,
or cynicism. You may also note an increase in sick days or higher
disillusionment
turnover.
employee
a leader you have a responsibility to protect your team from burnout. It should be
As
increased priority, especially in this difficult time of the pandemic. You cannot
an
your employees to be ‘always on’. If you tend to respond to e-mails outside of
expect
business hours, make sure you have a written line indicating you do not
standard
perform, and the culture is set by management on what the expectations are. It is
to
job to set a good example for employees to follow.
your
their workload. Not two workers are the same, some may be more flexible
Manage
others more detailed orientated. Adjust tasks to workers and their skill sets. The
and
important tip is to communicate regularly and actively listen. Checking in with
most
is crucial. Regularly! You do not want to become a micromanager, but not
employees
in will leave employees feeling despondent and not cared for. You could
checking
miss out on potential issues.
also
on a more personal basis as well. Especially during this time with workers
Check-in
working from home. Do they have the appropriate office furniture
increasingly
and support from staff that they may not have direct access to, due to
required
distancing or do they suffer additional stress due to a partner losing a job?
social
support beyond the workplace and make sure employees are aware of the
Provide
available to them.
support
Covid Burnout
Signs to look out for
What to do?
expect the receiver to work at those hours. Keep in mind that employees mostly want
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1 | 7 |

is a time to get more creative and inventive. Come up with new ways to manage staff
This
may even serve you better post-pandemic. Most organisations have by now mastered
that
remote teams or to a minimum figured out a video conferencing tool that is
managing
for their teams. Resist the temptation to make work tactical through strict
effective
rules and procedures. For example if you let your employee have a longer lunch
processes,
have time for a healthy walk, they may come up with a creative solution to a work
and
and be more productive after hours, when they get back to completing their tasks
problem
of normal working hours.
outside
you want an engaged team member who is not burning out, you need to provide an
f
for them to do this in. Give your staff the opportunity to present different
environment
As a manger it is easy to get distracted by the strategy and big picture and get
solutions.
yourself. Keep an eye on yourself and lead by example, but don’t be afraid
overwhelmed
share your experiences with staff. People connect through stories.Be the hero in the
to
who creates a ‘non-burnout’ culture, a supporting work environment where
pandemic
you want an engaged team member who is not
If
out, you need to provide an environment
burning
them to do this in. Give your staff the
for
to present different solutions.
opportunity
a manger it is easy to get distracted by the
As
and big picture and get overwhelmed
strategy
Keep an eye on yourself and lead by
yourself.
but don’t be afraid to share your
example,
with staff. People connect through
experiences
stories.
Covid Burnout
productivity can rise, staff can thrive, and innovation comes alive.
Be the hero in the pandemic who creates a ‘non-burnout’ culture, a supporting
work environment where productivity can rise, staff can thrive, and innovation
comes alive.
Tanya Finnie is the founder of RedHead Communications - leadership and
cultural strategy consultancy firm. As a global cultural strategist, she is
passionate about inclusion and loves building more collaborative teams.
She lives in Perth where they've suddenly gone into lockdown at the start of
February after no community transmission for 10-months. She is also a
mom and dog lover.
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1 | 8 |

Covid Burnout
Communicate, Connect and Change with Confidence
SOCIAL DISTANCING GUIDELINES
ACROSS THE
WORLD DIFFERS
2m
The US
1.5m
1.8m
Canada, Spain,
New Zealand
and the UK
Australia, Germany, the
Netherlands, Greece,
South Africa and Italy
China, Hong Kong,
Singapore and Denmark
1m
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1 | 9 |

From Stolen Generation
to Orphanage to Healing
Last year my partner and I decided to visit Bomaderry Children’s Home on our way to Jervis Bay on the
South Coast of New South Wales (NSW), where we had planned a short vacation. Thousands of people
are passing the home every day, less than a hundred metres away, as they drive by on the Princess
Highway and cross the Shoalhaven River on their way south or north through Nowra, a 200-km drive
south from Sydney.
As I turned into the property, I slowed down my car intuitively. Something told me to approach humbly
and with respect for this historic place. It was only later that I discovered why this was the right thing to
do.
I parked our car near the office and we got out. It was quiet and I couldn’t see anyone. There are about
half a dozen buildings, and it felt a little as if they were raising half an eye to see who has arrived and
disturbed their sleep. But there was life.
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Stolen Generation
I made myself known at the office, and a helpful
Aboriginal woman took me to another building to
meet Nicole, the CEO of Nowra Local Aboriginal
Land Council, the organisation which is now
looking after the place.
While we waited for Nicole we learnt that Uncle
Willy is the official library of the Home, and it didn’t
take long for us to learn why. Nicole greeted us
warmly. She was happy to see curious visitors who
are willing to learn and expressed she wished there
were more. This place, she said, is the birthplace
of a dark chapter of Australian history.
The Stolen Generations of NSW started here, the
removal of Aboriginal children from their families, a
government policy that would haunt not only
Aboriginal people, but also Australia as a nation for
a long time.
Bomaderry Children’s Home started in 1907 when
missionaries took care of a baby girl, and a year
later looked after six orphaned siblings. In 1909 the
NSW government ratified the Aborigines Protection
Act and the horrors of forced child removal began.
Bomaderry housed children in dormitories up until
the 1960s. Children were not allowed to go home,
and the missionaries severed them from their
culture, language, family and country. The children
were assimilated into white society, and when they
were old enough sent off to other homes where the
boys were trained as labourers and the girls as
domestic servants. Many never saw their parents
again.
Bomaderry Children’s Home closed in 1988. The
NSW Aboriginal Lands Trust bought the property
and put it into the care of the local Nowra
Aboriginal Land Council.
Nicole couldn’t wait to introduce us to the true
authority of the place: Uncle Willy Dixon, the
caretaker. We met him outside the cottage where
he now lives. His hair has turned white and he
maintains a huge grey beard that reminded me of
Gandalf, from the Lord of the Rings.
Uncle Willy was only four months old
when he was taken from his family and
forced to live at the Bomaderry Aboriginal
Children's Home. If anyone knew the soul
of this place it was him.
He left no doubt about how he cares about
Bomaderry. I asked him if I am allowed to take
pictures and he permits it for private purposes only,
so no publication. He does not waste time letting
me know what happened to the last person who
posted photos online without permission. A young
boy, and how his mum understood why Uncle Willy
smashed his camera. I sensed fierce paternal
protection and resilience drives this Elder. I’m sure
he looks after this place as if it was one of his
children.
Uncle Willy knew every inch. He pointed out where
walkways have been and buildings once stood. All
we can see today is grass, a few remaining
concrete plates and some indentations and raised
areas. I try to imagine how life must have been for
the children. Too many photographs show them
smiling and happy. But if it weren’t forced smiles,
they were smiles of innocence and not knowing
that the ‘care’ they received was slowly stripping
away their Aboriginal identity, layer by layer.
Flowers grow in patches, defiantly, as if to say “We
know the history but we grow here regardless”. Do
these patches mark places that need particularly
healing, I wonder…
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Stolen Generation
Uncle Willy led us to a special tree and enquired if
we could see faces in its bark. The bark was
wrinkly in places, and as I got closer, I could
discern round shapes and yes, there were eyes
and mouths – faces! “These are the faces of the
children,” explained Uncle. No other tree has these
marks. The faces seemed to muster me curiously,
as children would to find out if you’re a good or bad
person. Some seemed to have expressions of
agony.
At the back of the property is a place Uncle Willy is
very proud of because he built it himself. The
memorial garden is a place of reflection, a place
where visitors can remember and reflect. Native
plants grow on the perimeter of a circle that holds a
flagpole and a plaque which invites you to honour
and respect the children. It reminds you that the
site is the birthplace of the Stolen Generations in
NSW. Small yellow footprints lead into the circle,
and larger ones lead out at the other end,
symbolising the time the stolen children spent here.
You can see it on Google Earth where it looks like
a portal that could teleport you to another world.
Life at Bomaderry certainly was another world for
those who passed through.
Some former children are now members of the
Children of the Bomaderry Aboriginal Children’s
Home (CBACH). Survivors of the Home face many
challenges, especially in mental and physical
health. The scars are deep but hope for healing is
an eternal flame and high on the agenda of the
corporation.
Uncle Willy reminded us to drive out slowly. The
path is loosely covered in gravel, and underneath
lies the original driveway, which is better left
undisturbed, he advised. I then understood my
intuitive feeling as I entered.
We left deeply filled with history and a mix of
emotions. Sadness and anger for what happened
here, but also the fact that so few visitors take in
and learn about this place. We also feel admiration
for the people who look after the home, and a
sense of angst if all this knowledge will survive into
the next generation.
Much later my thoughts formed these words:
We were born ready,
Say the children of Bomaderry.
But you replaced our talents and skills
With hard work and other ills.
Gone are we now, but we still yearn
For you to come and seek and learn.
Once you know us you will feel,
And your feelings help us heal.
When our story touches your heart,
We can rest, and you can start.
Jens
Nowra Local Aboriginal Land Council and CBACH have reviewed this text and given their permission to
publish.
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1
| 1 2 |

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Sharing the Caring
CHILDCARE ADDS UP
Fiona David, Trish Bergin and Kim Rubenstein
Imagine a new smartphone comes onto the
market. For men, it costs $100; for women,
it’s $114, reflecting the 14% gender pay gap
that existed pre-COVID-19. For men, the
phone’s reception is flawless, but women can
only use it if they stand on one leg, juggling a
baby and a laptop computer while looking
calm and perfectly groomed. Ridiculous?
Well, this is essentially the system we have
set up for second-income earners in Australia,
most of whom are women. Here and
elsewhere, COVID-19 has shone a spotlight
on how inequality is baked into our social
structures, and one of the many inequalities
so exposed is the differential impact of crises
like this pandemic on women.
It’s a deep divide, beginning with the high
proportion of women doing the essential
caring work in hospitals, the indispensable
cleaning of public and private places and the
nurturing of children in the home. In order to
take up the last of those roles, women often
have little choice but to reduce their paid
working hours. If this weren’t enough,
women’s jobs were among the first to be cut
in sectors such as hospitality and retail.
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Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised by these
inequalities. In Australia today, just seven of
the 30 federal government ministers are
women — an imbalance that extends across
state and territory government too, with
women filling only 48 (or 26%) of 181
ministerial positions. When it comes to
pressing public policy issues, whether they
are social, economic or political, women are
noticeably absent from the key decisionmaking
forums.
So, are we going to continue to buy this pre-
COVID product, or are we going to demand
something more fit for purpose? This week,
a formidable coalition led by former foreign
minister Julie Bishop, epidemiologist
Professor Fiona Stanley, former SA premier
Jay Weatherall and philanthropist Nicola
Forrest has called for a major structural
reform that has the potential to build a more
equal society. What they want is a highquality,
universally accessible childcare and
early learning system.
What they want is a high-quality,
universally accessible childcare and
early learning system.
| 1 4 |

Sharing the Caring
Left: A mother trying to work
from home while holding her
daughter and watching her son
during the COVID-19 home
quarantine.
Photo Credit: Jordan Siemens.
On one view, childcare might be thought of
as being the responsibility of individual
parents. Looked at differently, though, highquality
childcare is fundamental to ensuring
greater equality. It is also key to increasing
women’s workforce participation.
In Australia, women are currently 38% of all
full-time employees, and 68% of all parttime
employees. While some women want
to work part-time, research confirms that
many want full-time employment but can’t
afford it. Even after subsidies, full-time
childcare fees absorb a quarter of
household income for an average earning
couple with two children in Australia,
compared to the OECD average of 11%. A
family getting the maximum subsidy (on an
income of less than $68,000) still needs to
find an annual $9000 for full-time care.
Almost half of Australian parents with
children under five report struggling with the
costs. This means that if both parents earn
$60,000 a year and the secondary earner
— usually a woman — chooses to work
more than three days a week, the
secondary earner currently loses 90% of
the income on the fourth day, and all of it on
the fifth day.
This obviously has a brutal impact on
women’s career trajectories, with part-time
work rarely leading to leadership roles.
Lifting women’s workforce participation is
an important step on the road to ensuring
that both women and men have an equal
opportunity to become political leaders.
There’s plenty of room for progress — of
the 193 countries in the United Nations,
only 13 are led by a woman.
Sharing the caring, not only within
the family but within society as a
whole, is fundamental to ensuring
women are equally represented at
decision-making tables around the
country.
Representative democracy is about
representing the needs of the whole
community and drawing on the expertise of
all people. The current system discourages
women from becoming active citizens for a
range of reasons, including their
disproportionate responsibility for childcare.
haring the caring, not only within the family
but within society as a whole, is
fundamental to ensuring women are equally
represented at decision-making tables
around the country.
Universal, accessible early learning also
benefits the children who are our future
leaders. Research shows that the early
years of a child’s life, up to five years of
age, are critical to their future academic,
health, social and professional trajectories.
Play-based early learning develops the
executive functions critical to our nation’s
economic future.
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Sharing the Caring
Competencies and emotional frameworks
that lead to high-valued jobs (which should
include childcare) in the fastest growing
sectors are developed in those early years.
We are investing in our future if we invest
in children’s education at this age. While
we know these early years are critical,
preschool is currently only universally
available for four year olds, except in
Victoria, where three-year-old preschool is
becoming available. Childcare varies
hugely in quality and is simply unaffordable
for many Australian families.
As our leaders search around for shovelready
projects to get the economy back on
track, they need to look beyond the obvious
strategies of investing in bridges and roads.
An investment in building
universal, accessible early learning
in Australia will have a multiplier
effect, improving our economy and
society in ways that benefit
everyone.
This article originally appeared in Inside
Story.
These problems are reflected in the data,
which shows that many children are
continuing to fall through the gaps.
The Australian Early Development Census
reveals that one in five children entering
school is developmentally vulnerable in one
or more domains. If we look only at
indigenous children, the numbers are stark:
six in 10 are developmentally vulnerable. By
the time these kids get to school, critical
neural pathways are embedded. It will be a
struggle for them to catch up, whether in
reading, writing or emotional regulation.
Trish Bergin (Left) and Professor Kim
Rubenstein (Right) are the Co-Directors of
the 50/50 by 2030 Foundation in the Faculty
of Business, Government and Law at the
University of Canberra.
Fiona was appointed as the inaugural Research Chair of Minderoo
Foundation in 2018. In her previous role as Executive Director of
Global Research for Minderoo Foundation’s Walk Free, Fiona led
the team that created the Global Slavery Index, from its 1st to 4th
edition. A lawyer and criminologist, Fiona has worked for more
than twenty years at the intersection of crime, law reform and
human rights.
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1
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Global News
News
Around
the World
AUSTRALIA
Laws have recently passed in the state of Victoria
that could potentially see sexual assault survivors
receive jail time for up to four months or fines over $3
000.
Such penalties could be awarded to sexual assault
survivors if they tell their stories using the real names
of their attack if they have been found guilty.
Court orders are required by the victims if they wish
to identify themselves and share their experience,
which would cost most than $10,000 in legal fees.
AFRICA
Rwanda's 'Church of God in Africa' has made
headlines for opening its doors to LGBT+ members .
The church has provided a place for support and
comfort for those shunned by society and their
families.
The law in Rwanda has neither legalized or
criminalized same-sex relationships, however, the
region is 63% Christian, and 30% Muslim, making it
one of the most religious regions in the world.
USA
Democratic nominee Joe Biden has been sworn in as
the new President of the USA with Kamala Harris as
his Vice President.
Kamala Harris is the daughter of Jamaican and
Indian immigrants and is the first black women to
feature on a presidential ticket in US history. She is
also the first ever female Vice President of the USA.
Amanda Gorman made world news as the youngest
inaugurationpoet, with a inspirational rap poem
calling for unity adn togetherness.
AUSTRALIA
The Queensland government has
implemented new laws criminalising health
practitioners from using LGBTIQ+ conversion
practices.
The penalities for attempting to suppress a
person's sexual orientation include up to 18-
month imprisonment.
INDIA
Zomato, an Indian food company, has stated
it will introduce 'period leave', which will
involve up to 10 days of paid leave.
The introduction of 'period leave' hopes to
reduce the stigma surrounding female health
issues and menstruation.
VATICAN CITY
Pope Francis has made a historical change to
the Vatican Council by appointing six women
to the 15-member Council fo the Economy.
Prior to the appointment of the six women
the council has consisted completely of men.
LEBANON
Numerous controversial Islamic Laws have
been dropped in Sudan. Such policies were
enacted 30 years prior by former president
Omar al-Bashir.
Some of the laws included those surrounding
apostasy, alcohol, the travel of children
withough permission from their fathers,
banning female genital mutiliation and other
laws dictating women's attire.
AUSTRALIA
Abortion activists and professionals have
again called for law reform in South Australia,
in which the state's crimes act states that
surgical terminations must take place at
prescribed hospitals adn two doctors agree
that a woman's physical adn/or mental health
is endangered. The current law presents
significant accessibility barriers to women in
the state.
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CHRYSANTHEMUMS,
DEATH AND FUNERALS
Guglielmo Placanica
On my last trip visiting family in Southern Italy, I decided to give my two aunts a
bunch of flowers each. When I entered the village florist, I was immediately
attracted to big, colourful bunches of chrysanthemums. I picked up two bunches.
Both my aunts were mothers and coming from Australia I saw the chrysanthemum
as a Mother’s Day flower. The perfect gift, I thought. However, during a discussion
with the sales assistant I discovered that these flowers were inappropriate.
Apparently in Italy, as in most European countries, the chrysanthemum represents
death and is given as a sign of comfort during times of bereavement.
How we deal with grief and
bereavement varies from culture to
culture. Funeral rituals depend on
religious beliefs, cultural traditions
and customs.
My first childhood experience of
death was when my grandfather
passed away. I remember mourners
gathered at my grandparents’
house, bringing food and paying
their respects. Women met in one
room, men in another and everyone
wore dark colours, mainly black.
Wearing black at these times in
Western countries is seen as a sign
of respect and mourning the loss of
someone. However, in some Eastern
countries white is considered the
colour of mourning.
Traditionally, in Australia, a funeral
service commences with a
ceremony at a church or chapel
followed by a burial or cremation.
However, different cultures have
different funeral rituals.
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1
Jewish bereavement commences with the
initial stage of mourning and then burial
within a short period of time. This is
followed by more stages of mourning.
Hindu funeral services vary from sect to
sect; the body is cremated within twentyfour
hours and the ashes are scattered in a
sacred body of water. In modern times,
some Americans are now choosing green
funerals which are environmental friendly
burials.
In our current times of confusion, when we
are exposed to daily statistics of a rising
death toll, our primary instinct is to protect
ourselves and to survive. In so doing, we
naturally reflect on our own mortality.
The passing of a loved one is a difficult
and emotionally uncertain time.
Regardless of cultural backgrounds,
religious beliefs, traditions and customs,
the commonality of all funeral rites is that
they assist us in accepting the loss of
loved ones. These rituals honour and
respect the memory of the deceased and
help us gain closure. They support us
through our grief.
| 1 8 |

Lessons Learnt -
From Iran to Spain
Shivah Roofeh
When Shiva Roofeh travels for work,
whether it’s to London Heathrow, Moscow
Sheremetyevo or the other half dozen cities
her work takes her to regularly, she has a
very interesting exchange with the
immigration officer. When they ask why she
is there and what she does, she tells them
“I’m here to teach people how to not be
assholes”. Without fail, regardless of the city
and culture, as soon as they hear her
answer they laugh, stamp her passport and
invite her in. Apparently, there’s an
epidemic.
This article is the story of Shiva’s stories. It’s
a collection of events she lived and the
stories she told herself about those events
and what they mean. It’s an exploration into
the mental programming we unknowingly
create for ourselves, and how we let that
mental programming drive our guidelines for
life.
Her work is the kind of work that spans
cultures and generations. And though
everyone agrees that this work is
necessary, no one wants to think that they
need to be one of her learners.
Everyone else is an asshole,
it’s not you, it’s them.
For Shiva however, everyone, including
herself, can and should relate to the term.
Because, by her definition an asshole is
unaware of the stories they tell themselves.
These are stories about who they are and
who they should be, about their role,
responsibilities and possibilities, stories
about what is right, wrong, good and bad,
stories about their teams, their organizations
and about the world and how it works. In
short, according to Shiva, an asshole is
unaware of their mental programming. By
being unaware, we give power and control
to our inner asshole without realizing it.
Our stories are a huge part of our personal
culture (versus national or corporate
culture). We end up living in our stories, and
they become our guidelines to life.
Shiva was born in Tehran, Iran in the
1980’s. She was born to a Jewish father,
who had converted to Islam, and a Muslim
mother. She was born after the revolution of
1978 and in the middle of a 10 year war with
Iraq. Before most of this, before the war,
before the breadlines and before she was
even born, a story happened, a story that
was later passed down to her. One day,
there was a knock on the door. When her
parents answered, they found the secret
police ready to arrest them. They heard that
a Muslim person and a Jewish person got
married and were there to investigate and
most likely, to punish. Which isn’t so odd - It
was their job to know and it was illegal for
the two to marry. What stood out to Shiva,
however, wasn’t that they knew but how
they knew.
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Lessons Learnt - From Iran to Spain
They knew because a neighbour told them.
Someone they shared a community with,
someone just one door or one wall away,
maybe even someone with kids that she and
her sister played with. When Shiva heard
this story she did what all of us do - she
added meaning to the story. What she
decided this meant was that she can’t trust
anyone, and if her own community isn’t safe
then neither is the world. So, she started to
walk through life holding on to her trust,
looking for safe places and safe people.
Fast forward a few years and she and her
family leave Iran as refugees and go to Italy,
their processing centre. She had to go
school and the only school that had space,
was a Catholic school. So now you have an
Iranian Muslim refugee, going to a Catholic
school, in a small town in Italy in the 1980’s.
If that confuses you, imagine how the nuns
felt. They did not know what to do with her.
She was so far outside their idea of what
could exist in their community, that they
chose what most people chose - to pretend
that she did not exist. They ignored her,
isolated her, and rejected her. They locked
her in the closet and would not let her speak
or play with the other kids. They chose fear
instead of curiosity.
When experiencing this, Shiva added to her
story that authority cannot be trusted and
that visibility is bad, it’s more than bad it’s
dangerous. So be invisible. And she was. All
throughout her education she was the one
sitting in the back, with her head down
taking notes, not looking her teachers in the
eye, and not raising her hand to speak.
Being noticed leads
to no good.
Fast forward again, almost fifteen years
later, to September 11, 2001 which was also
Shiva’s first week of university. After leaving
Italy her family moved to NYC where she
was raised. For university she went out of
NYC to a state where her light skin and
green eyes were not seen as white for a lot
of people even before September 11th.
Over the next few years she would go to
classes where students asked why all
Muslims were violent, to parties that ended
in drunk students chanting “bomb the Middle
East” and she would enter every
conversation wondering what will happen
once she answered the question “where are
you from?”
The story of “don’t trust anyone” and “I don’t
belong” was exhausting,so she left. She
moved abroad and in the 17 years since she
lived back in the US for a total of 2.5 years.
Let’s pause here and go back to our
definition of an asshole: someone unaware
of their mental programming, someone living
in their stories without realizing. And, by
being unaware of their mental programming,
they are being driven by their stories instead
of driving and consciously creating their own
stories.
Like all of us, Shiva went through life giving
meaning to all her experiences and
unfortunately most of the time the meaning
was a negative one. It didn’t matter how
positive she was on the outside; her stories
were deep inside her and they all pointed to
a world that was dangerous and unfair.
This meant that whatever decisions she
made and actions she took were often a
reaction to this deep belief. By not knowing
her programming and stories she was letting
life happen to her instead of with her.
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1 | 2 1 |

Lessons Learnt - From Iran to Spain
To finally realize that her beliefs and stories
were in the driver's seat of her life, she had
to live one more story: divorce. Getting
divorced made her question why she got
married at all. The more she questioned, the
more she realized and learned about the
assumptions, beliefs, thoughts and stories
that were behind all her actions, all her
choices and all her decisions.
She realized that she got married because
she wanted to be protected. The world was
a dangerous place and being alone was a
disadvantage. She realized that she got
married because she wanted someone to
hide behind. Her partner was an opera
singer, a larger than life personality. With
him next to her, she could fade into the
background when things didn’t feel safe.
She started to question more, to unpack
more hidden beliefs and assumptions from
her programming and more importantly, she
started to reprogram herself.
Reprogramming is a process, it takes time
and patience and is a complete adventure.
It’s the act of making your life mean more.
She’s reprogrammed herself to make “No” a
super power to save others and herself pain.
She has reprogrammed herself to see
visibility as an opportunity, to understand
that trust is something you have to give to
get. She has reprogrammed herself to live
by design and not default, to take control of
her stories so they don’t control her. In
short, she has reprogrammed herself to not
be an asshole.
She also realized that she said yes because
she did not know how to say no. For years
she wanted to fit in, to not anger authority
simply feel safe. She wanted this because
the stories she told herself said that these
were things she needed or that were
lacking. And she believed that to get that -
to fit in, appease authority and feel safe -
she had to say yes, because ‘No’ means
conflict, ‘No’ means breaking the harmony,
‘No’ means standing out.
Since she started to realize her
programming, she started to see the bigger
picture of her life and the stories that lead
her to where she was. She saw that for so
long she had let her stories lead her. She
thought she was the active director of her
own life but realized that she was just a
passive assistant.
Seeing the bigger picture, she decided that
she wanted to be in the driver's seat. We
may not always have power over life, but we
do have power over our programming -
power over how we experience life.
When thinking about your own
life. Ask yourself: what are the
stories you’ve been telling
yourself about the world, how it
works and your role in it?
Which stories do you need to
update, and which stories do
you simply need to let go of?
You may not control life, but
you can control your stories
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1 | 2 2 |

in an evolving industry –
Inclusion
from reactive to proactive practices
Moving
The 2020 workforce reductions have caused a knowledge drain and impacted the
older workforce in particular; prior to 2020 it was already difficult for some people to
find jobs in the oil and gas industry and if they did there were challenges of
acceptance and inclusion. With a different job market in 2021, how do we ensure
that everyone gets a fair chance? This is the topic of conversation at this year’s
Diversity & Inclusion Breakfast at AOG Energy next month. Key industry leaders will
discuss changes that we can make to set our industry up for success in 2021 and
beyond.
Tasha Broomhall MSc (Psych), an Adjunct Senior Lecturer with the
University of Notre Dame and Director of Blooming Minds, is this
year’s keynote speaker and will be presenting the session ‘Mental
health, diversity and intersectionality - Achieving genuine inclusion and
participation in organisations’.
Tasha’s work has been recognised with the ICCWA Suicide
Prevention Award, as a finalist in the LiFE Awards for Excellence in
Suicide Prevention and in 2020 her ‘Inside Out’ segment with Christine
Layton on ABC radio was the runner up in the Mental Health Week
Media Awards.
This year’s Diversity & Inclusion
Breakfast takes place on Thursday 11
March 2021 from 7 am – 9 am at the
Peth Convention & Exhibition Centre.
Tickets to the breakfast can be
purchased by registering for AOG
Energy at aogexpo.com.au/register
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F e b 2 0 2 1 | 2 3 |

b y T a n y a F i n n i e
Book Review
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
There is a good reason this book has topped the various bestseller lists for months in a row. This
exquisite coming of age story in the swamplands of North Carolina will capture your heart. (I sat crying
in bed at 3am) It has the perfect mix of mystery with a possible murder, beautifully described imagery of
the local area and a young, strong protagonist (Kya) who inspires you to change the world.
Kya is abandoned as a young girl and makes her own way in a world where she is judged and labelled
as wild at best and 'to be avoided' at worst. It is a book filled with love, prejudice, hope and loneliness. I
loved every moment of this read, though I sometimes ached for the characters.
It explored racism from a different angle as Kya is labelled as white trash. It will break your heart and
give you hope at the same time. The beautiful descriptions and strong messages will make it a quick
read.
C U L T U R A L T I M E S | F E B 2 0 2 1 | 2 4 |

WE MUST TALK
ABOUT RACE
Rabia Siddique
I have been writing a lot recently about peopleled
movements for change. This phenomenon
has never been so evident as in recent months.
Following the tragic and unlawful killing by a
police officer of 46-year-old African American
man George Floyd in Minnesota, there has been
an immediate international response by not just
black communities but people worldwide. People
like you and me. People of all colours, cultures,
religions, ages and socio-economic
demographics that have been speaking out,
standing up and taking to the streets - despite
current health risks - and protesting the systemic
racism that has dogged our institutions. At best it
has been ignored and at worst accepted as part
of our culture for too long.
There is so much I can say about the institutional
and systemic racism I have witnessed and tried
for the last 25 years to fight and advocate
against. We all have a personal responsibility to
speak out and stand up against racism and there
is a desperate need for humanity and values
based leadership in our world.
There is a desperate need to commit fully to
reconciliation through truth-telling, selfdetermination
and greater respect for people of
colour, indigenous people and all those
marginalised, voiceless and disenfranchised. But
perhaps now more than for a long time this
hashtag #blacklivesmatter says it all. And, it
always will until every human, institution,
organisation, policy, every law, and every
government commit to black lives mattering. Not
more than, but equal to. That is all that is sought.
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So with this in mind, as well as the fact that we
are living at a unique period in time, where we
stand at the precipice of such global change, it’s
time we asked ourselves, what really matter to
us? What moves us to speak out, stand up, and
be counted? When we have answered that
question, the next question is - what’s stopping
us?
It only takes one person to start a ripple
effect of change. If we all commit to creating
just one ripple, we will together make waves.
That is what people led movements of change
are all about. And that is the beautiful revolution
we are witnessing around the world
today. People standing up against institutions,
authorities, and governments, holding them to
account and demanding better, demanding
different, being the change.
Rabia is a multi award winning international humanitarian
lawyer, retired British Army senior officer, former war crimes
and terrorism prosecutor and hostage survivor. Born in
Perth, the eldest of two children, Rabia attributes the
discrimination and racism she witnessed her Indian Muslim
migrant father suffer in the mid 1970s, as well as being a
child abuse survivor, to her passion for and commitment to
justice, equality and inclusion.
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