THE FIGHT SOCAL'S MONTHLY LGBTQ MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2025

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 1

2 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 3

ON THE COVER &
ON THIS PAGE
DR. LISSETTE GOMEZ
DR. BROOKE HARMSSEN
PHOTO BY
ZIV SADE
FEATURES
11 CALIFORNIA PROUD
ATTORNEY GENERAL ROB
BONTA
14 TO SERVE AND PROTECT
LA LGBT CENTER: THE
FIGHT FOR JUSTICE
16 FAMILY MATTERS
ONE COUPLE’S PATH TO
PARENTHOOD
18 ALL IN ONE
TAMMUZ FAMILY
SURROGACY AGENCY
20 THE GOOD EGG
BEVERLY HILLS EGG
DONATION
24 FINDING YOUR VOICE
VOCAL THERAPIST
HEATHER GROSS
DEPARTMENTS
06 THE EDITOR
08 THE TALK
10 THE CITY
12 THE NATION
20 THE SHARE
25 THE ART
28 THE EVENT
4 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 5

This Valentine’s Day issue focuses on LGBTQ families.
Two local physicians, Dr. Lissette Gomez and Dr. Brooke Harmssen,
a couple since 2019, spoke to THE FIGHT about their decision to start a
family and their path to parenthood (“Family Matters,” pages 16-17).
“We knew before we started dating that we wanted kids individually.
We revisited the issue when we started dating to make sure we were on
the same page regarding how many and how (adoption, carrying, donor
etc.),” reveal the couple.
In the end they decided to go through the process with Care Fertility
(www.carefertility.net).
“Upon going to this clinic — and meeting Dr. Quintero and his team—
we noted that it was more personable than the first clinic we attended and
we didn’t just feel like another number. In addition, they have excellent
outcomes based on reported data, and offered different package options
that make the process more affordable than a lot of other clinics.”
Also in the issue we interview Roy Youldous-Raiss, CMO of Tammuz
Family (www.tammuz.com), an “All-in-One” surrogacy agency to guide
intended parents through every step of the process (“All In One,” page 18).
“At Tammuz Family,” says Youldous-Raiss, “our motto says it all: You
Dream Babies, We’ll Make It Happen! We’re proud to offer LGBTQ+
Intended Parents the opportunity to create families with confidence,
compassion, and full support.”
Last, but not least, Beverly Hills Egg Donation’s (www.bhed.com)
Robyn Perchik talks to us about the recruiting and screening process,
determining the intended parent(s) criteria and reveals insider tips (“The
Good Egg,” pages 20-21).
“Egg donor agencies play a critical role in the journey that some intended
parents take to start and complete their families,” explains Perchik.
“Recruiting and screening prospective egg donors, helping intended
parents find a donor who fits their needs, and coordinating the donation
cycle from initial screening appointment to egg retrieval procedure are
some of the important responsibilities entrusted to egg donor agencies.
The ultimate goal? A successful pregnancy.”
STANFORD ALTAMIRANO
Editor-In-Chief
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano
MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel
ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio
MARKETING CONSULTANTS Sean Galuszka
Antonio Garnica
Jacci Ybarra
NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media
www.rivendellmedia.com
SOCIAL MEDIA Mark Ariel
Antonio Garnica
WEB DEVELOPER Nadeen Torio
CONTRIBUTORS Race Bannon
Sean Galuszka
Orly Lyonne
Victor Melamed
Paulo Murillo
Motorboot Photography
Ann Rostow
Ziv Sade
EVENTS MANAGER Antonio Garnica
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EXTENDING A WARM WELCOME TO THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 7

BISHOP
MARIANN
BUDDE
>> WHAT THEY’RE SAYING <<
SCARED
NOW
“In the name of
our God, I ask you
to have mercy
upon the people
in our country who
are scared now…
There are gay, lesbian and transgender children in
Democratic, Republican, and independent families,
some who fear for their lives.”
—Bishop Mariann Budde, during a prayer service at Washington’s
National Cathedral last month, with Trump in attendance.
MY IDENTITY
“My story is valid. My
identity is real. And my
family has been by my side
every step of the way.”
—Trans activist and TV star Jazz Jennings
on social media last month responding to
Trump’s executive order erasing trans &
non-binary people.
WITH EVERYTHING
“The incoming administration is
trying to divide our communities
in the hope that we forget what
makes us strong. But we
refuse to back down or be
intimidated…. We are
not going anywhere
and we will fight
back against these
harmful provisions with
everything we’ve got.”
—Rights Campaign President Kelley
KELLEY
ROBINSON
JAZZ
JENNINGS
Robinson in a statement last month.
TRANS SIBLINGS
“I would go to the podium to talk about these
bills, the attack on our trans siblings, what was
happening in state legislatures…A lot of those
times were incredibly personal to me.”
—Out lesbian Karine Jean-Pierre on about being
press secretary under President Joe Biden, in an
interview with the Advocate.
MY TARGET
“Unfollow
me if ur a
homophobe…
You’re not
my target
audience…”
—Omar Apollo
hitting back at people
who unfollowed
him last month on
Instagram after he
posted an (almost)
nude image from Luca
Guadagnino’s new movie
Queer.
ZOE
SALDAÑA
OMAR
APOLLO
WHO TAKES
”Who takes comfort in ‘I’m going
to die, but it’s in the
presence of
an obese
lesbian’?
This is
KARINE
JEAN-PIERRE
REALLY SEXY
“I love a woman that’s
masculine and a man
that is feminine.
I find that to be
really sexy,”
—Actress Zoe
Saldaña in a video
interview with W
magazine, last
month.
MEGYN
KELLY
ridiculous.”
—Megyn
Kelly ripping into
the Los Angeles Fire
Department in a manic,
unhinged rant last month, calling
for the firing of “obese lesbian”
firefighters, on her podcast.
8 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 9

>> BY PAULO MURILLO <<
HIV and provide critical care
to marginalized communities
affected by HIV/AIDS.
PALM SPRINGS
INTERNATIONAL BEAR
CONVERGENCE FEBRUARY
20-24
Bears are coming out of hibernation
and are heading to the International Bear
Convergence (IBC), the premier winter
event for Bears & admirers in Palm Springs.
The event will take place on February 20-24,
2025. This desert oasis opens its arms and
welcomes thousands of frisky, furry bears,
their friends & their fans to Palm Springs
The four-day event will come to life with
DJs, live entertainment and thousands of
bears from around the globe. “The last
8 years have been hugely successful and
expect more of the same in 2025 with
record-breaking attendance,” state coproducers
Nino Eilets & George Frank. “As
always we will be pulling out all the stops
to make this year an event to remember.”
For more info visit: www.ibc-ps.com
LOS ANGELES
COFOUNDER RESIGNS
FROM TOM OF FINLAND
FOUNDATION AFTER
NAZI FIASCO
Durk Dehner, the co-founder of the Tom
of Finland Foundation, has resigned from
his position as president and has left the
board of directors. This decision follows
the removal of Dehner as a judge from
the International Mr. Leather (IML) competition
due to resurfaced photos of him
wearing Nazi regalia.
The Tom of Finland Foundation, which
Dehner co-founded in 1984 with the artist
Tom of Finland, is a non-profit organization
dedicated to preserving and promoting
the work of the late Finnish artist.
The foundation operates out of Tom of
Finland’s former home in Los Angeles,
known as Tom House, which houses an
archive and hosts artist residencies.
WEST HOLLYWOOD
STARS COME OUT TO
PERFORM AT ELTON JOHN
AIDS FUNDRAISER
Midwest pop princess Chappell
Roan is performing in the City of West
Hollywood. The Pink Pony Club singer is
delivering a show-stopping performance
for a good cause at the 33rd Annual
Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy
Awards Viewing Party on Sunday, March 2,
2025. The star-studded event returns West
Hollywood Park, promising an evening of
glamor, music, and meaningful fundraising.
Hosted by Elton John and David
Furnish, alongside co-hosts Jean Smart,
Sheryl Lee Ralph, Neil Patrick Harris, and
David Burtka, the event supports the
Foundation’s mission to end new cases of
COACHELLA VALLEY
NONPROFIT
LAUNCHES
SCHOLARSHIP
FOR GAY BLACK
MEN IN INLAND
EMPIRE
The Brothers of the Desert,
a nonprofit dedicated to
supporting Black gay men
and allies in the Coachella
Valley, has established
the Brothers of the Desert
Scholarship Fund in collaboration
with the Inland Empire
Community Foundation. This
groundbreaking scholarship
focuses on students at the
intersection of Black and
LGBTQ+ identities—a demographic
often overlooked. To
qualify, applicants must be gay Black men
who have completed secondary education
or a two-year college program in the Inland
Empire and been accepted into a four-year
college or university in the U.S.
LOS ANGELES
LEGISLATION TO PREVENT
THE SPREAD OF HIV &
OTHER INFECTIONS
Democratic Caucus Chair and
Assemblymember Rick Chavez
Zbur (D-Hollywood) introduced a new
bill, AB 309, to combat the spread of
HIV, viral hepatitis and other bloodborne
pathogens. AB 309, sponsored by the
California Pharmacists Association, the
Health Officers Association of California,
the Drug Policy Alliance, and the San
Francisco AIDS Foundation, is part of a
multifaceted approach to protect public
health. California first began allowing
local governments to authorize pharmacies
to sell syringes to adults in 2004. After
twenty years, extensive research and data
collection has proven time and time again
that increased access to sterile syringes
reduces transmission rates and prevents
needless deaths. AB 309 will empower
pharmacists to continue furnishing sterile
syringes at their discretion and allows
adults to continue possessing syringes for
personal use without a prescription. n
10 THE FIGHT | | www.thefightmag.com

GENDER AFFIRMING
AND TRAUMA INFORMED
VOICE COACHING
FOR THE LGBTQ+
COMMUNITY
HEATHER
GROSS
Vocal Therapist
and Voice Coach
CA AG
ROB BONTA
CALIFORNIA
PROUD
Attorney General Rob Bonta:
“The LGBTQ+ community is and
will continue to be protected
under a myriad of state laws and
California’s constitution.”
California Attorney General Rob Bonta issued the followed
statement last month regarding President Trump’s
recent executive order that targets the LGBTQ+ community:
“All individuals, regardless of who they are or who they love,
deserve to be recognized and treated equally. Here in California,
the LGBTQ+ community is and will continue to be protected
under a myriad of state laws and California’s constitution.
The United States Constitution also provides for equal
protection under the law and federal courts, including
the United States Supreme Court, have recognized that
discrimination against LGBTQ+ people is unlawful.
We are keeping a close eye on how this Executive Order is
implemented and related actions by the Trump Administration. The
President cannot eliminate fundamental rights by Executive Order,
nor can he order federal agencies to violate the law.
Agencies and entities receiving state funding are reminded
that members of the LGBTQ+ community are protected against
discrimination and harassment and that our office will be
monitoring to ensure the law is followed.
I am committed to defending California’s people and values.” n
www.livevocally.com
For Daily News Visit:
www.thefightmag.com
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 11

THENATION
>> NEWS BRIEFS <<
LAMBDA LEGAL TO SUE OVER ORDERS ON LGBTQ+ RIGHTS
Lambda Legal, the LGBTQ+ rights advocacy group that succeeded in fighting
executive orders issued during President Donald Trump’s first term, promised last
month to challenge his latest moves rolling back protections for transgender and
nonbinary U.S. citizens, reports Law360.
Lambda Legal condemned various executive orders Trump issued on his first day in
office following his inauguration. He reinstated a ban on transgender people serving
in the military, instituted a policy that the government will only recognize male and
female sexes and rolled back broad protections against LGBTQ+ discrimination.
COUPLES SCRAMBLED TO
TIE THE KNOT BEFORE NEW
ADMINISTRATION
Three Unitarian churches in Rochester, New York,
came together last month to host the Big Gay
Wedding event, a free opportunity for LGBTQ+
couples, many of whom are fearful that marriage
equality will be in jeopardy under the new
administration and rushed to get married before
inauguration day.
The event was hosted by the First Universalist
Church of Rochester, the First Unitarian Church of
Rochester, and the Unitarian Universalist Church of
Canandaigua and bolstered by donations of cake,
photography, and flowers from local vendors.
STATES SUING OVER ORDER
SEEKING TO OVERTURN
BIRTHRIGHT CITIZENSHIP
A coalition of Democratic state attorneys
general filed a federal lawsuit on last
month to stop President Trump’s
executive order that seeks to eliminate
birthright citizenship, reports CBS News.
The lawsuit by 24 states, including
California, filed in federal court in
Massachusetts, claims Trump’s initiative
violates the 14th Amendment of the U.S.
Constitution, which the federal government
has long interpreted to mean that those
born on American soil are citizens at birth.
TREVOR PROJECT REPORTS
SURGE IN CRISIS SUPPORT
CALLS FOLLOWING
INAUGURATION
The Trevor Project’s classic crisis services —
phone, text, and chat — saw a 33 percent
increase in volume last month, the day
Trump was sworn in as president, compared
to weeks prior. The next day, volume was up
46 percent compared to typical daily rates in
the previous weeks, reports the Advocate.
The volume increase follows a recordbreaking
700 percent increase observed
across the Trevor Project’s crisis lines on
November 6, the day after the presidential
election. The Trevor Project is the leading
suicide prevention and crisis intervention
organization for LGBTQ+ young people.
KARLA SOFÍA GASCÓN
TRANS ACTOR KARLA
SOFÍA GASCÓN RECEIVES
OSCAR NOD
History was made last month with the
announcement of the 97th Academy
Award nominees. Karla Sofía Gascón, the
star of Emilia Pérez, has become the first
transgender actor in history to receive an
Oscar nomination in an acting category.
This groundbreaking achievement adds
to the film’s remarkable success, as Emilia
Pérez has garnered a record-breaking 13
Oscar nominations, surpassing any other
foreign language film in history. Gascón,
a 52-year-old Spanish actress born in
Alcobendas, recently received further
recognition as a 2024 Out100 honoree. n
12 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

HE
Not
/ SHE / THEY
Like
Us
REACHLA.ORG
FREE
HIV/STI TESTING
PREP PRESCRIPTIONS
MENTAL HEALTH SESSIONS
#STOPHIVTOGETHER
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 13

TO SERVE
AND PROTECT
“
LA LGBT Center: We’ll fight for justice,
equality and the dignity of all queer
and trans people
Following President Trump’s inauguration and declarations of the federal
government’s recognition of only two biological sexes and rewriting immigration
policies last month, Los Angeles LGBT Center CEO Joe Hollendoner issued the
following statement:
“On the day we honor the life and legacy of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.— a true
leader of justice, equality, and human dignity — it is clear that President Trump’s second
presidency will be an affront to everything Dr. King stood for. As we await the over 100
executive orders that usher in his return to the White House, we know that President Trump’s
campaign trail promises, his inauguration speech, and what press outlets are reporting,
threaten the rights and well-being of LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, and asylum seekers.
The next four years will be consequential for the LGBTQ+ community, particularly
those already facing the compounded impacts of racism, transphobia, xenophobia,
and economic injustice. Throughout Trump’s second term as president, the Center
will continue to serve a vital lifeline to LGBTQ+ people everywhere, protecting our
community’s rights and freedoms.
“The Center has always been a
beacon of hope in times of crisis,
and today, we affirm that our
commitment is stronger than
ever. We will not back down.”
We know that our work is being targeted by the Trump
administration and Republican-controlled Congress, but we
remain unwavering in our commitment to providing the lifesaving
services that are essential to our community. The Center
will fight to protect federal funding for Medicaid, the Affordable
Care Act, HIV services, and LGBT-specific intimate partner
violence programs, despite scare tactics by members of the Trump
administration to cut these services.
We also will remain a sanctuary for gender affirming care,
comprehensive reproductive services, immigration/asylum services,
and supportive services for LGBTQ+ children, youth, and families.
Be assured, our doors will never close to any member of the
LGBTQ+ community who needs our care. But beyond our services,
we will continue to be a voice for resistance. We will advocate for the
protection of LGBTQ+ rights, to resist every harmful policy proposed,
and to challenge the injustices that threaten the lives and well-being of
our community.
The Center has always been a beacon of hope in times of crisis, and
today, we affirm that our commitment is stronger than ever. We will not
back down. Our resolve is clear: we will fight for justice, equality, and the
dignity of all queer and trans people, regardless of who occupies the
White House.”
14 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com
14 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com
PHOTO BY MIKE MURRAY

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 15

>> THE ABBEY <<
FAMILY
MATTERS
One couple’s path to parenthood
BY MARK ARIEL | PHOTO BY ZIV SADE
Two local physicians, Dr. Lissette Gomez
(trauma/critical care) and Dr. Brooke
Harmssen (hospital/family medicine/
emergency medicine), talk to THE FIGHT
about their decision to start a family and their
path to parenthood.
— we noted that it was more personable than the
first clinic we attended and we didn’t just feel like
another number. In addition, they have excellent
outcomes based on reported data, and offered
different package options that make the process
more affordable than a lot of other clinics.
How long have you been a couple
We became a couple in 2019, got engaged in
March 2020 and got married in July 2021.
At what point in your relationship did you
decide to start a family?
We knew before we started dating that we wanted
kids individually. We revisited the issue when we
How far along are you in this journey?
After a couple IUI attempts and discussions
with our doctor we opted to move forward with
IVF with embryo testing. We are happy with this
decision as we are now pregnant with a baby boy
and have graduated from the fertility clinic. We
also have three girls on ice at the clinic so we can
continue to grow our family.
“Care Fertility … was more personable than the
first clinic we attended and we didn’t just feel
like another number. In addition, they have
excellent outcomes based on reported data.”
started dating to make sure we were on the same
page regarding how many and how (adoption,
carrying, donor etc). Brooke wants four kids and has
no desire in being pregnant and Lissette wants two
kids and has always wished to carry a baby. We both
agreed on a known donor that would be willing to
be part of our children’s lives.
What was the deciding factor in choosing Care
Fertility for this endeavor?
Care Fertility (www.carefertility.net) is the
second fertility clinic we tried which was
recommended to us by friends. Upon going to this
clinic — and meeting Dr. Quintero and his team
What tips could you provide for folks in our
community considering creating a family?
Unfortunately for the LGBTQ community
the process of creating a family can seem very
daunting so don’t be afraid to ask for help or
guidance. Fertility clinics will walk you through
everything you need to do to get there. Also ask
about financial resources and packages because
some clinics offer them.
For more info on LGBTQ fertility options and to
schedule your free consultation visit Care Fertility
at www.carefertility.net.
16 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 17

ALL IN
ONE
Tammuz Family: a surrogacy agency
guiding Intended Parents through every
step of the process. An interview with CMO
Roy Youldous-Raiss
When was Tammuz Family established?
Tammuz Family was founded in 2008 by Doron Mamet-Meged.
What inspired the creation of Tammuz Family?
Tammuz Family was born from a deeply personal journey. After experiencing the challenges
of surrogacy firsthand with his partner, Doron left his role as a high-tech project manager
to establish Tammuz. His vision was to create an “All-in-One” surrogacy agency to guide
Intended Parents (IPs) through every step of the process. Since its founding, Tammuz Family
has helped thousands of families worldwide achieve their dream of parenthood.
What should same-sex couples or single LGBTQ+ individuals in the U.S. consider
when starting their surrogacy journey?
For LGBTQ+ individuals or couples considering surrogacy, here are the key factors to
keep in mind:
Educate Yourself: Take time to explore your options.
Surrogacy programs vary between countries, each with its
pros and cons. Research online, consult with friends or
social groups, and meet with 2-3 agencies to compare
and select the one that feels right for you.
Understand the Timeline: Surrogacy is a marathon,
not a sprint. The process involves many
moving parts, including coordination with third
parties like surrogates and egg donors. Typically,
a surrogacy journey lasts 20–26 months, depending
on the country and circumstances.
Budgeting: Costs can vary significantly
based on location. Ensure you understand
the financial breakdown, including hidden
costs like surrogate travel, insurance, or
neonatal care.
Medical Expertise: Evaluate the IVF clinic’s
experience and success rates. Questions to
ask include their years of operation, preferred
methods, and policies on embryo transfers.
Legal Considerations: Laws vary by country and
state. Understanding the legal framework where your
surrogacy journey will take place is essential, especially
if you’re pursuing surrogacy abroad.
Surrogate Communication: Consider the level
of interaction you’d like with your surrogate.
In the U.S., surrogates and Intended
Parents often develop close
relationships. In
countries like
Mexico or Colombia, communication is
typically facilitated by the agency due to
cultural and language differences.
What are some common pitfalls in the
surrogacy process?
Patience: The wait for a surrogate
match or egg donor can feel long, leading
to frustration.
Communication Issues:
Misunderstandings can arise between the
parties involved, but the agency is there
to mediate and provide support.
“We’re proud
to offer LGBTQ+
Intended Parents
the opportunity
to create families
with confidence,
compassion, and
full support.”
What makes Tammuz Family unique
compared to other surrogacy agencies?
Tammuz Family offers several unique
advantages:
All-in-One Support: From start to finish,
all services are handled under one
roof, with a dedicated case manager
guiding you every step of the way.
Guaranteed Programs: We offer fixedcost
programs that cover all aspects of
the journey, including egg donation,
surrogate matching, compensation, legal
services, and more—minimizing financial
risk for Intended Parents.
Global Reach: With programs in multiple
countries, including the U.S., Mexico,
Colombia, Argentina, and Armenia,
Tammuz provides tailored options to meet
the diverse needs of IPs.
Accessible Options: Our programs in
Europe and Latin America offer costeffective
alternatives to U.S. surrogacy,
making parenthood more attainable.
Personalized Support: Each IP is paired
with a dedicated case manager to provide
emotional and logistical support throughout
the journey.
Is there anything else you’d like to
share with our readers?
At Tammuz Family, our motto says it all:
You Dream Babies, We’ll Make It Happen!
We’re proud to offer LGBTQ+ Intended
Parents the opportunity to create families
with confidence, compassion, and full
support.
For more info visit: www.tammuz.com
18 THE FIGHT ROY YOULDOUS-RAISS
| www.thefightmag.com

DETOX
WITH LGBTQ
PEERS
Call Us Now
For Help
It’s hard enough to
decide to go to rehab.
It’s even harder when
you are in a space
that doesn’t feel safe.
Pride Detox was
created for the LGBTQ
community to feel safe
and affirmed while in
detox & rehab.
1 (562) 525-5121
Call now for FREE
compassionate
support
www.pridedetox.com
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 19

THE
GOOD
EGG
Beverly Hills Egg Donation’s
Robyn Perchik on the
recruiting and screening
process, determining the
intended parent(s) criteria
and insider tips
What exactly is an egg donor agency?
Egg donor agencies play a critical role in the journey that
some intended parents take to start and complete their families.
Recruiting and screening prospective egg donors, helping
intended parents find a donor who fits their needs, and coordinating
the donation cycle from initial screening appointment
to egg retrieval procedure are some of the important responsibilities
entrusted to egg donor agencies. The ultimate goal? A
successful pregnancy.
Can you tell our readers about the process?
The process is so personal that it’s different for every intended
parent. Many people want a donor who looks like they would
fit into their family, who reminds them of a sister or a cousin. I
work with intended parents who want a “smart” egg, meaning
that they are looking for an academic achiever. Then there are
recipients who want an “athletic” egg, or a “musical” egg, and
so on. Everyone has different criteria and a different process to
find and choose their donor.
“Visiting and keeping in
touch with our LGBTQ+
families has been a very
rewarding part of owning
an egg donor agency.”
My colleagues and I spend time with the intended parent(s)
as early as we can in the process to learn what their criteria are
and to help them decide which criteria are most important to
them. Some criteria — a particular ethnic background, perhaps,
or a certain advanced level of education— might be harder than
others to find, or more popular among intended parents, so we
try to manage expectations.
Can intended parents meet their donor?
As part of the matching process, we will arrange Zoom calls
with the donor, if the intended parents want that and the donor
is open to it. Intended parents may choose to have these calls
because they want to be able to tell their future child that they
20 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

met the egg donor, or because they want
to get a better sense of the donor’s mannerisms
and personality.
In the last decade, we have seen a movement
towards partially or fully open donations,
with more intended parents meeting
their donor and/or discussing the possibility
of future contact with their donor. Especially
in the LGBTQ+ community, personally interacting
with the donor before and after the
cycle has become increasingly important.
We work with many LGBTQ+ parents — both
singles and couples, in the US and internationally
— who want to keep communication
channels open with their donor for
future relationships. Our intended parents
have met their donors in several US cities,
all facilitated by BHED staff. One intended
parent flew his donor to Europe after his
child was born. We have also seen more
donors wanting to feel a connection with
the intended parent (s). Some donors have
requested a short letter from their intended
parents as a way of learning a little about
the their backgrounds and interests.
How much does the process cost?
Donor fees start at $10,000 and our
agency fee starts at $12,500. Other costs
include all medical fees which are paid
directly to the intended parents’ clinic,
and travel if the donor isn’t local.
Are there any “insider tips” regarding
egg donation?
• When researching egg donor agencies,
ask if they use international donors. We
only work with donors who reside in the
US, who are either US citizens or are
legally able to work here.
• Choose an agency that has a contractual
refund policy; many do not.
• Ask the agency questions that will give
you an indication of their fee structure.
Do they take a percentage of the donor
fee in addition to the agency fee? Do they
“mark up” travel, or provide it at cost? Do
they collect the donor’s receipts and reconcile
the expenses? Are there surcharges
for cycle coordination? What happens if
you don’t have a successful pregnancy?
• The lowest agency fee may not be the
lowest overall price, or the best value.
How did you get involved in this field?
My background is insurance — risk
management — with a law degree thrown
in. I was an underwriter of commercial
casualty insurance for Fortune 500 companies.
An underwriter is akin to the quarterback
on a football field, having to work
with a lot of different customer service
and legal/financial personnel to get to
the goal. As I was thinking of retiring from
the company that I worked with for 30
years (right out of college), I received an
interesting phone call. The previous owner
of BHED, who I knew through a mutual
friend in the fertility field, was going to
sell the business. I have never regretted
the career change.
What is your connection to the LGBTQ+
community?
Personally, my connection with the
LGBTQ+ community has been through
family and friends on both coasts of the US.
Professionally, I have worked with LGBTQ+
families in more than 17 countries, including
New Zealand, Norway, China, Germany,
Australia, Israel, Greece, and the UK. Visiting
and keeping in touch with our LGBTQ+
families has been a very rewarding part of
owning an egg donor agency. I love visiting
with my international families in their home
countries, and getting to see their children
growing up.
For more info call: (310) 279-5272
or visit: www.bhed.com.
Extending A Very Warm Welcome
To The LGBTQ+ Community
DELIVERY AVAILABLE!
CALL (424) 288-1277
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 21

THIS PAGE IS SPONSORED BY
>> BY PAULO MURILLO <<
THE POWER
“Being sober is the
best thing and the best
choice I ever made for
myself. It has brought
me serenity and peace
of mind, but I think
most importantly,
sobriety has given
me the power to love
myself again. During
my addiction, I lost
myself. Growing up
I learned to wear
so many masks to
defend myself from
the world. I was
always upset, thinking
people didn’t
love me. But it was
me putting up all of these masks and putting
up all of these barriers to avoid people and to not give them
the ability to connect with me. Being sober has given me the
power to remove all those masks and to love myself. I don’t miss
the loneliness. I like to think I was a happy person growing up, but
in my addiction, I was sad and lonely. Having friends today feels
like a gift of sobriety.”
—Carlos Ricardo Elliott, sober
since March 23, 2022.
FEEL THE LOVE
With Valentine’s Day in mind, we asked these
clean and sober individuals with various lengths of
sobriety, what they love most about being sober
JERBEAR
CARLOS
RICARDO
ELLIOTT
REAL
EXPERIENCES
“What I love about being sober
is I don’t have to do the come
downs anymore. I tried to always
stay high, so the comedown for
me would be I’d over sleep. I don’t
miss all those long hours of sleeping
after being high. I like that I
have more friendships in sobriety.
A part of me misses the sex parties.
Those don’t really happen in
sobriety, but what I don’t miss is
being treated like an object. When
I’m sober, I feel like I’m human, instead
of some instrument. I don’t like being a project for
somebody to just have sex with. I want friendship. I want
relationships. I want real experiences and when I’m out
there, I don’t get any of that. In sobriety I learned how to
get a companion, even it’s just my teddy bear, which helps
me stay clean and sober for now.”
—Jerbear, sober since December 19, 2024.
MARK
NUBAR
GREATER
PURPOSE
“I’m a drinker,
so being free
from drinking has
caused this wonderful
thing to
happen, where
I get to connect
to a greater
purpose for
myself, and I get
to connect with
other people.
It’s a sense
of belonging
and a sense of
connection.
Alcohol is something that came into
my life as the result of working in the creative
arts, being in nightlife. I thought drinking
represented adulthood and it turned out I
drank to medicate my anxiety, and that only
works in the very beginning. What I love
about being sober is that I get to feel all my
feelings, whether they’re good or bad, and I
am able to put one foot in front of the other,
stay clear, and just ask what I can bring to
the world, versus what I can get. It feels like
it’s some kind of superpower in a way. I don’t
say that from ego, but it feels like I’ve been
given this great gift where I can either have
faith that everything is going to work out, or
I can be afraid, which is just faith that things
are not going to work out. Sobriety gives
me the chance to live an existence where I
don’t have to engage in fear.”
—Mark Nubar, sober since June 26, 2019
22 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

A QUEER-OWNED SANCTUARY
FOR WOMEN IN RECOVERY
Raven House Sober Living offers a nurturing and
supportive community for women ages 18 and up
seeking lasting sobriety. Our West Los Angeles
home provides a safe, structured environment
where residents can develop essential life skills
and build a strong foundation for recovery.
We believe in balancing independence with
accountability. Through daily schedules, regular
check-ins, and opportunities for service, our residents
learn to create fulfilling sober lives.
At the heart of Raven House is a commitment to
authenticity, vulnerability, and compassion. We create
a space where women feel empowered to heal,
grow, and thrive.
For more info visit
www.RavenHouseRecoveryServices.com
or call 424.394.0783
You can also contact Lauren or Sheldon at
lauren@ravenhouserecoveryservices.com
or sheldon@ravenhouserecoveryservices.com
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 23

FINDING
YOUR VOICE
Vocal therapist Heather Gross:
“Working with my gender-affirming
voice clients brought a feeling of
alignment and connection”
BY ORLY LYONNE
Heather Gross, MS CCC-SLP, RYT is a vocal therapist, singing voice specialist,
and vocal coach, specializing in gender affirming and trauma informed voice.
“Working with my gender-affirming voice clients brought a feeling of
alignment and connection. My sense of safety within the LGBTQ+ community
inspired a deep-seated need to help gender-diverse individuals through a traumainformed
lens,” states Gross in an interview with THE FIGHT.
“Many of my clients who experience voice dysphoria describe their voices as feeling
‘tight,’ ‘locked,’ and ‘tense.’ Trauma can cause physical and emotional responses that
manifest as a locked or tight feeling in the throat and can silence people’s voices. This
is a survival mechanism triggered by adverse
events, such as hearing a voice that
does not align with one’s inner sense
of self. The voice is deeply connected to
the mind, body, and spirit, so addressing
vocal issues involves working with the
whole person,”explains Gross.
“… I use a
trauma-informed
approach to create
a safe space for
exploration and
healing, which
allows clients
to access their
true voice and
experience a sense
of vocal freedom.”
“Unlocking the voice involves releasing
physical, spiritual, and emotional barriers
to achieve authentic self-expression. I use a
trauma-informed approach to create a safe
space for exploration and healing, which
allows clients to access their true voice and
experience a sense of vocal freedom.”
“My clients often find that voice coaching
helps them discover their true voice
and expand their vocal range, aligning their
voice with their inner sense of self,” reveals
Gross. “This holistic approach not only addresses
technical aspects but also fosters a
deep connection to one’s true voice within
a safe and supportive community.”
While most of Gross’ clients are members
of the LGBTQ+ community, she also
works professional voice users.
“I utilize the same whole-person, integrative
approach for everyone. Whether
working with professional voice users or
those seeking gender-affirming voice
coaching, the focus remains on vocal
health and sustainability, implemented
through a holistic, mental health-informed
approach. The primary difference lies in the
application; sessions may emphasize singing
or acting techniques for professional
voice users to meet their specific needs,
while others may prioritize the speaking
voice. The ultimate goal is to tailor voice
training to each individual, ensuring it’s
functional and supports their personal and
professional goals, whether that involves
singing, audition preparation, or other
performance-related activities.”
For more info please visit:
www.livevocally.com.
24 ROY THE YOULDOUS-RAISS
FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

THEART
>> LGBTQ ARTISTS <<
ALEXANDER
ANANASSO, DANIEL
BATEMAN IN “SEX
LOVE VENICE”
LETTING GO
Sex Love Venice: The complexities of intimacy, love, and self-discovery
This Valentine’s Day, the LGBTQ+ romance
film Sex Love Venice promises
to redefine cinematic portrayals of
sexuality and human connection with an
evocative and deeply emotional narrative.
Written and directed by Steve
Balderson, the film draws inspiration from
his own life experiences, as chronicled
in his erotic memoir Year of the Whore
(Punk Hostage Press). The story explores
the complexities of intimacy, love, and
self-discovery. At the heart of the film is
Michael, a man yearning for meaningful
love beyond the fleeting nature of hookup
culture. His journey takes him to Venice,
where he meets Marco, a soulful and
enigmatic local who challenges Michael’s
perceptions of intimacy. Marco believes
in the transformative power of cultivating
desire, maintaining that the things we
long for most are infinitely sweeter when
savored with patience and intention.
The film’s setting in Venice, Italy, is an
integral part of the story. With its unique atmosphere,
the city becomes a metaphor for
endurance—like love, Venice endures despite
challenges. Balderson chose to shoot
Sex Love Venice in the very locations where
the real-life events occurred, ensuring that
the character of Michael walked the same
alleyways and past the same buildings.
Sex Love Venice stars Daniel Bateman
as Michael.
“We’re so accustomed
to watching abusive
queer stories like those
told in Brokeback
Mountain and Call Me
By My Name… I really
wanted to showcase
something else.”
Bateman appeared on Broadway in
Wicked and his nuanced acting and ability
to embody complex characters make him
a perfect fit for the emotionally charged
role of Michael.
Alexander Ananasso, celebrated for
his roles in The Voyeur and The Embalmer,
brings depth and authenticity to Sex Love
Venice with his captivating performance
as Marco.
Suzanna Akins plays the role of the
female best friend and the iconic Mink
Stole from John Waters’ Pink Flamingos,
Hairspray, and Serial Mom rounds out the
cast with her unique charm.
Sex Love Venice is Balderson’s twentieth
film and stands out in the landscape of
LGBTQ+ cinema by focusing on love and connection
rather than trauma. “I think we’re so
accustomed to watching abusive queer stories
like those told in Brokeback Mountain and Call
Me By My Name,” says the filmmaker. “I really
wanted to showcase something else.”
Balderson hopes that viewers who experience
the film walk away with the courage
to find love in everyone they meet, and
carry on with a mindset to support that
same thing in others.
“My aim is to inspire viewers to let go of
judgment, embrace love, and find meaning
in every interaction.” n
Sex Love Venice debuts in select theaters on
Friday, February 14, and will also be available
for streaming on Amazon Prime, Apple TV,
Fandango at Home, Google Play, YouTube
Movies, and various cable platforms.
For more info visit
https://www.dikenga.com/sexlovevenice
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 25

DON’T LET
A HEART
ATTACK
CRASH
YOUR PARTY.
Know the signs.
Save a life.
February is American Heart Month, and your
heart health is always on the agenda. We’re
talking about heart attacks – the unexpected
drama no one wants, especially not when you’re
living your best life. This isn’t fear-mongering, but
gay, bisexual, and transgender men face a higher
risk of heart attacks. It’s about knowing the score
and being ready to act.
What is a heart attack?
Your heart’s a party animal, but it needs oxygen to
keep the beat going. A heart attack happens when
the party’s cut short – blood flow to your heart gets
blocked or severely reduced. And the stats are
sobering: every 40 seconds, someone in the US
has a heart attack. That’s way too many fabulous
people sidelined.
What are common heart
attack warning signs?
Heart attacks aren’t always a Hollywood-style
chest-clutching scene. Sometimes they creep up
slowly, starting with mild discomfort. While left
arm pain is often associated with cisgender men,
remember that heart attacks show up differently in
everyone. If you notice any of the following, call
911 immediately:
CHEST DISCOMFORT: Pressure, squeezing,
fullness, or pain in the center of your chest lasting
more than a few minutes.
UPPER BODY DISCOMFORT: Pain or discomfort
spreading to one or both arms, your back, neck,
jaw, or stomach.
SHORTNESS OF BREATH: This can happen with
or without chest discomfort. Suddenly gasping for
air? That’s a red flag.
OTHER SIGNS: Breaking out in a cold sweat,
nausea, lightheadedness – these aren’t just
symptoms of a bad night out.
KNOW THE SIGNS, SAVE
A LIFE (MAYBE YOURS).
SECONDS COUNT.
Fast action can help with a full recovery. If you
suspect a heart attack, call 911. It’s the fastest route
to life-saving treatment.
And when you need cardiac care,
choose a Dignity Health hospital
in LA County and the Inland
Empire. They’re recognized as
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Equality
Leaders (HRC) and boast
Healthgrades Five-Star ratings
in eight specialties, including cardiology. That
means top-notch care, advanced diagnostics, and
treatments so you can get back to living your best,
most fabulous life. Learn more and plan ahead:
dignityhealth.org/socal/heart
ADVERTISEMENT
26 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 27

>> PHOTOS BY MOTORBOOT PHOTOGRAPHY <<
MR. LA LEATHER BEAR
CONTEST 2025
The Mr. LA Leather Bear contest took place last month at The Eagle LA.
Congrats to Mike Klipsch, Mr. LA Leather Bear 2025! For more on events
happening at The Eagle visit: www.eaglela.com.
28 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com
28 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 29
FEBRUARY 2025 | THE FIGHT 29

Don’t Miss A
Single Issue!
$45 For a One Year (12 Month) Subscription
Please Call 323-204-1858,
Mon–Fri 10am–5pm PST, to get THEFIGHT
delivered directly to your home!
30 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com

A cardiac
emergency
is our specialty.
When alarming symptoms arise, you want the best care possible. And when
it comes to your heart, and the ones closest to you, that means getting to a
hospital with specialized cardiac services including advanced diagnostics and
treatments. At Dignity Health hospitals in L.A. County and the Inland Empire,
we've been recognized by Healthgrades as a Five-Star Recipient for Treatment
of Heart Failure, and honored by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation as
an LGBTQ+ Healthcare Equality Leader for equitable and inclusive patient care.
Get to know more about our advanced cardiac care before an emergency strikes
at dignityhealth.org/socal/heart.
TREATMENT OF
HEART FAILURE
2025
32 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com