3_UAD_MARCH_2025

UNCLE
DIGEST
ANDY’S
FREE
MARCH 2025
SINCE 1996
207-782-7113
Technician
Wanted
Apply Within!
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com
OPEN YEAR ROUND!
BlackiesFarm.com
Open Every Day
6:00am-7:00pm
Eat Fresh,
Buy Local!
966 Minot Ave. – Auburn | 207-786-0005
Your Local Food
Headquarters!
• Fresh Produce
• Local Milk & Eggs
SNAP/EBT purchases receive 50% off all
fruits & vegetables instantly
MAINE SENIOR
FARMSHARE
Sign-Up Date:
4/9/25 @ 10:00am
Must be present
to sign up
Call for more info
• Fresh & Ready Deli
Side Salads
• Fresh Fruit Salads
• Frozen Local Meats
• Bread & Bakery Items
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 1
“Hurry back, we’re lonesome here!” - Blackie

Catching a leprechaun is easy, as long as you don’t mind a whole lot of mischief first!
Maine Campground Owners Association
VACATIONLAND
RV & CAMPING SHOW
Dates:
SATURDAY APRIL 5, 2025
SUNDAY APRIL 6, 2025
Location:
NORWAY SAVINGS BANK ARENA
985 TURNER ST, AUBURN ME
$1.00 OFF ADMISSION
Cut out and present at ticket sales to redeem your
$1 off a single admission ticket to the 2025
Vacationland RV & Camping Show
Regular
V A L I D D A T E S
Admission $10 APRIL 5-6, 2025
@mainecampingguide
207-782-5874
6 MAINE RV DEALERS
55+ CAMPGROUND &
LOCAL BUSINESS BOOTHS
FREE CAMPING GIVEAWAYS
RENYS GRAND PRIZE GIVEAWAY
You’ll Love our new line
of salt water spas!
By Crystal Cove Spas
1975 Lisbon Street • Route 196 • Lewiston, Maine | 207-783-0858
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

Do you want a box for your leftovers? No, but I'll wrestle you for them.
ou got u You got this! got this!
this!
ecause
ou You
Because
got
you
got
you have
this!
have
this!
us us
cause you you have have us us
Because you you have have us us
eace of Peace mind of when mind you when need you it most. need it most.
aving a financial Having plan a and financial saving plan money and saving helps our money members helps sleep our members sleep
e ell nd at of night. when mind And well the at night. many you when And opportunities need
the many you we it
opportunities offer need most.
members we it offer to help most.
members to help
thers ace and of Peace the mind others community and of when the put mind community smiles you on when their put need smiles faces you all on it day their most. need long. faces all it day most. long.
financial n and saving plan money and saving helps money our members helps our sleep members sleep
g
ght. many a financial
And Having opportunities plan
the many a and financial saving
opportunities plan money and saving helps our money members helps sleep
District we offer Office members our members sleep
District we offer to
Office members to help
t night. And well the at night. many And opportunities many we opportunities offer members we offer to help members to help
d unity the 184 community put Webster smiles St., on put Suite their smiles faces 102 on | all Lewiston, their day faces long. ME all 04240 day long.
s and the others community 184
and the put Webster
community smiles on St., their Suite 102 | Lewiston, ME 04240
put smiles faces all on day their long.
207-782-8823
faces all day long.
207-782-8823
District Office District Office
District Office District Office
St., 84 Webster Suite Art 184 102 Chamberlain* St., Webster Suite | Lewiston, 102
Art 102 Chamberlain* St., | Lewiston, Suite | ME Paul 102 04240
Colasante* ME | Lewiston, 04240
ME Paul 04240
Colasante* ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 207-782-8823
04240 Lewiston, ME 207-782-8823
04240 Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
207-782-8823
207-514-7003 207-782-8823
Art Chamberlain*
Lewiston, ME 04240
berlain* Art 207-514-7003
Chamberlain*
ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
003
Stacy Fortin
207-514-7003
Rumford, ME 04276
207-357-5429
Stacy Fortin
Rumford, ME 04276
207-357-5429
207-514-7003
Stacy Fortin
Rumford, ME 04276
207-357-5429
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3612
207-782-8823
Paul Gagne*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
Kim Pelkey*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-2573
Mike Courtemanche*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
Art Chamberlain* Paul Colasante* Paul Colasante* Mike Courtemanche* Mike Courtemanche*
Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
Paul Colasante*
Lewiston, ME 04240
Paul Colasante* Mike Courtemanche*
207-514-7003 207-782-8823 207-782-8823 207-783-8921 Mike Courtemanche*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
Stacy Fortin Paul Gagne* Paul Gagne*
Ted Heidrich*
207-782-8823
Ted Heidrich*
207-782-8823
207-783-8921 207-783-8921
Rumford, ME 04276 Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
207-357-5429 207-576-3426 207-576-3426
207-576-5656 207-576-5656
Ted Heidrich*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-5656
Seth Vlahakos*
Windham, ME 04062
207-407-7576
Richard Courtemanche Richard Courtemanche
Lewiston, ME 04240
Richard Courtemanche Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622 Richard Courtemanche
207-786-3622
Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622
Matthew Nadeau*
207-786-3622
Matthew Nadeau*
Winthrop, ME 04364 Winthrop, ME 04364
207-395-5177 207-395-5177
Matthew Nadeau*
Winthrop, ME 04364
207-395-5177
in
Ron Ouellette*
Stacy Fortin
Paul Ron Ouellette* Gagne* Kim Pelkey*
Paul Gagne* Kim Pelkey* Ted Heidrich* Seth Vlahakos*
Ted Heidrich* Seth Vlahakos* Matthew Nadeau* Matthew Nadeau*
ME 04276 Lewiston, ME 04240
Rumford, ME 04276 Lewiston, ME 04240Lewiston, ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240Lewiston, Lewiston, ME 04240ME Windham, 04240 ME 04062
Lewiston, ME Windham, 04240 ME 04062 Winthrop, ME 04364 Winthrop, ME 04364
207-786-3612 207-786-3612 207-786-2573 207-786-2573 207-407-7576
429
207-407-7576
207-357-5429
207-576-3426 207-576-3426
207-576-5656 207-576-5656
207-395-5177 207-395-5177
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3612
207-782-8823
Paul Gagne*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
Kim Pelkey*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-2573
Mike Courtemanche*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
Ted Heidrich*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-5656
Seth Vlahakos*
Windham, ME 04062
207-407-7576
Matthew Nadeau*
Winthrop, ME 04364
207-395-5177
ife insurance Life insurance | Retirement | Retirement planning planning | Financial | Financial services | services Member | programs Member programs
egistered lette* representative. Ron Ouellette*
* Registered Securities representative. offered through Kim Pelkey*
Securities MWA Financial offered through Services Kim Pelkey* MWA Inc., a Financial wholly owned Services subsidiary Seth
Inc., a wholly of Vlahakos*
Modern owned Woodmen subsidiary Seth of of Vlahakos*
America. Modern Member: Woodmen FINRA, of America. SIPC Member: FINRA, SIPC
, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240 Windham, ME 04062 Windham, ME 04062
3612 207-786-3612
207-786-2573 207-786-2573
207-407-7576 207-407-7576
Richard Courtemanche Richard Courtemanche
Lewiston, ME 04240 Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622 207-786-3622
insurance Life insurance | Retirement | Retirement planning planning | Financial | Financial services | services Member | programs Member programs
MODERN WOODMEN
OF AMERICA
MARCH 2025
ACTIVITIES
Tuesday, March 11th
Roy’s Breakfast
7:00-10:00am
5 Washington Street Auburn
Members: $5.00
Guests: $6.00
Purchase Tickets: March 5th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Thursday, March 13th
KP’s Place
4:00pm-7:00pm
245 Center Street Auburn
Members: $8.00
Guests: $10.00
Purchase Tickets: March 5th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Tuesday, March 18th
Sam’s Marketplace Mall
11:30am-7:00pm
675 Main Street Lewiston
Members: $5.00
Guests: $7.00
Purchase Tickets: March 5th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Tuesday, March 25th
Fielder’s Choice
4:00-7:00pm
680 Minot Ave Auburn
Members: $3.00
Guests: $3.50
Purchase Tickets: March 5th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Reminder: Please do not
call the restaurants. If you
have a question, please
call the office at 207-782-
1833 or 207-333-6052 and
speak with Jamie. In order
to attend you must have
a ticket. Tickets must be
purchased at the MWA District
Office at 184 Webster
Street Lewiston, ME on the
dates/times listed for each
activity. Menus are subject
to change.
Most importantly-Have Fun!
red representative. * Registered Securities representative. offered through Securities MWA Financial offered through Services MWA Inc., a Financial wholly owned Services subsidiary Inc., a wholly of Modern owned Woodmen subsidiary of of America. Modern Member: Woodmen FINRA, of America. SIPC Member: FINRA, SIPC
surance | Retirement | Retirement planning planning | Financial | Financial services services | Member | Member programs programs
ties resentative. offered through Securities MWA offered Financial through Services MWA Inc., Financial a wholly Services owned Inc., subsidiary a wholly of owned Modern subsidiary Woodmen of Modern of America. Woodmen Member: of FINRA, America. SIPC Member: FINRA, SIPC
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered,
"They’re right behind you."
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 3

Out and About
at Call Of The
Wild
Thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
Open House
Smile Again
Dentures
DON’T BE
AFRAID TO
SMILE
Call for a free
Alan Lavoie
Brandon Mendoza
• Full Dentures
• Immediate Dentures
• Partial Dentures
• Rebases
• Relines
• Repairs
Consultation
Clark & Mary Labbe
Mike
Adkins, LD
Cassandra
Gagnon, LD
Licensed Denturists
Joe
Adkins, LD
Cody Miller,
Heartland RV
All work done on-site.
Repairs usually same day service!
801 Webster Street, Lewiston | 514-0660
SmileAgainDentures.com | smileagaindentures@gmail.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
4 March 2025
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

There’s No Place Like...
YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP FOR: Amazing Food, Lottery Tickets,
Agency Liquor Store With Beer Cave, & Redemption Center!
Grab n’ Go!
Hot & Ready
Order ahead,
or sit and eat!
Hot & Iced coffee
self-serve station!
Donate your bottles to:
Help grant a wish to
a local child battling
a critical illness!
207-345-5551
REDEMPTION CENTER
Located in the building behind Dad’s Place
6 ¢
on all 5¢ returns with this coupon
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm
(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays)
(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) UAD exp. 3.31.25
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 5
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls | dadsplacemaine.com

I hate my job - all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Let’s talk today!
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.®
CALL ME TODAY.
It’s
why
we’re
here.
30 years
in business.
Always a call or click away!
Call, click or stop by today.
Hats
Quality Products
Reasonable Pricing
Think Spring!
Contractors
Landscapers
School Sports
Now offering
online stores
Mugs
Pens
Bags
Call us for a quote TODAY! 207.784.4184
205 Washington St. South, Auburn | coastaltshirts.com
If a pig loses its voice…does it become disgruntled?
Our Team
PAM
ASHBY
PUBLISHER
STEVE
SIMARD
SALES
TIM
RUCKER
SALES
MARK
TURCOTTE
MEDIA COORDINATOR
TIM
ELWELL
GRAPHIC DESIGNER
CARICATURES COURTESY OF J. ANTHONY FIORI | @THE_ARTIST_J_ANTHONY_FIORI)
Uncle Andy’s Digest
is distributed by the first Friday of every month by Lydia Media LLC with its world headquarters located at 2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn, Maine, USA.
Published and distributed since 1996 throughout Central Maine and mailed to subscribers all over the Free World. Subscriptions are $49 .95 /year.
UncleAndys.com|Office: 207-783-7039
While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very hard to ensure the accuracy of the information in our clients’ advertisements and our publication in general,
we are not responsible for vendor availability, typographical errors, technical inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or omissions.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
6 March 2025
A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean.
Both crews were marooned.

No one does it like
Mac’s Grill!
Serving all day on St. Patty’s Day!
Ask us about
our new
Coaster
Club!
Check out our Bangers & Mash
and our Corned Beef & Cabbage specials!
We are
hiring
line cooks
Everyone is a little
Irish on March 17th!
Have a Happy
Saint Patty’s Day!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
UncleAndys.com 7

Out and About
at Call Of The
Wild
Open House
Now is the time
to think camping!
Derek Shelton
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
SOX
$
APPS
CHICKEN TENDERS
CHICKEN WINGS
CHEESE STICKS
CRAB RANGOONS
CHEDDAR BITES
COCONUT SHRIMP
1.00 EACH
CHEDDAR CHEESE
PRETZEL BITES
$
5.99
16 SOX
OZ Seltzers
PINEAPPLE
PEACH
WATERMELON
MANGO
POMEGRANATE
PASSION FRUIT
TANGERINE
GRAPE
CHERRY LIME
BLUE RASPBERRY
BLUEBERRY
BLACKBERRY
GRAPEFRUIT
ORANGE
$
5.00
Open Daily 11am-9pm
SOX
12 OZ
BOTTLESTLES
$ 2.99
$ 2.99
GAME DAY
SPECIALS
207.777.6353
gridironrestaurant.com
1567 Lisbon St. Lewiston
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.
Diana Givens
Jamie Westling
& Stephanie
Pomerleau-Lavoie
Jeremy Kennison
Owner
Uncle Andy’s Digest
8 March 2025
If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep.
It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Women should not have children after 36—really, 36 children is enough.
The Chapman House
Home for senior ladies
Starting
Salary
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
The Human
Resources person
asked an aspiring
writer for their
desired starting
salary.
The writer replied,
“Around $200,000 a
year, depending on
the benefits package.”
Providing a warm and comfortable
home for our residents.
Our residents invite you to enjoy a tour
of their home, where autonomy
and self-expresion is encouraged
The Chapman House has private rooms available
for residents, aged 65 and older, who need
assistance with bathing, medications, and meals.
The interviewer said,
“Well, what would
you say to a package
of 5-weeks vacation,
14 paid holidays, full
medical and dental,
company matching
retirement fund to
50% of salary, and a
company car leased
every two years –
say, a red Corvette?”
The writer sat up
straight and said,
“Wow! Are you
kidding?”
The interviewer
replied, “Yeah, but
you started it.”
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961
Bonnie Iwans
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour
guide was not the right choice.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 9

Did you
know?
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
The Wiseman Bridge
on Chestnut Street
in Lewiston is the
only known rainbow
arch bridge in the
state. The two-lane
bridge was built in
1927 and dedicated
to former Lewiston
Mayor Dr. Robert J.
Wiseman in 1928.
The Blue Hill Falls
Bridge was also a
rainbow arch bridge,
but was demolished
in 2022 and replaced
with a more modern
structure.
If you find a leprechaun, do not ask for his gold—ask for a better hiding spot!
*based on generator and load size.
COOK UP A STORM.
DURING A STORM.
When a bad storm or utility outage
knocks out power, a reliable KOHLER®
generator keeps your lights on, your
fridge cold, and your house protected.
And it can power your entire home.* So
turn up the heat. No matter the weather,
we’re with you.
From engines to generators,
we give the world power.
Taxidermist
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
An aspiring veterinarian
put himself through
veterinary school
working nights as a
taxidermist.
After graduation, he
combined his two
vocations to better
serve the needs of
his patients and their
owners, while doubling
his practice and
his income.
He opened his office
with a sign on the
door saying, “Dr.
Jones, Veterinary
Medicine and Taxidermy
- Either way, you
get your dog back!”
How did the hacker escape the FBI? He ransomware.
HOME INSPECTOR COURSE
Powered by Carson-Dunlop School of Home Inspection
in collaboration with the CMCC Workforce Office.
Central Maine Community College Workforce
and Professional Development Office is offering
a 420-hour 10 courses/42 hours per course.
The courses will cover the following topics
in-depth: Professional Practices, Roofing,
Structure, Heating I & II, Plumbing, Electrical,
Exterior, and Insulation & Interiors. Taking
applications for enrollment! Sign Up Today!
Contact us with questions: 207-755-5280
Enroll Today! cmccme.augusoft.net
Uncle Andy’s Digest
10 March 2025
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.
Out and About
at Call Of The
Wild
Open House
Justin Kennison
Derek (Page 8)
you are so right!
Justin Thompson
Rick Emmert
Scott Aldrich,
Littlefield Family Beaches
Campground
My dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do
such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 11

Genie
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A sales rep, an
administration clerk,
and their manager
were walking to
lunch when they
found an antique oil
lamp.
They rub it and a
Genie comes out
and says, "I’ll give
each of you just one
wish."
"Me first! Me first!"
says the admin
clerk.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.
SINCE 1925
Furniture Refinishing and Restoration
CELEBRATING 100 YEARS
OF SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY IN 2025!
"I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a
speedboat, without
a care in the world."
Puff! She’s gone.
"Me next! Me next!"
says the sales rep.
"I want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on
the beach with my
personal masseuse,
an endless supply of
Pina Coladas, and
the love of my life."
Puff! He’s gone.
"OK, you’re up," the
Genie says to the
manager.
The manager says,
"I want those two
back in the office
after lunch."
25 Adams Ave. | Pepperell Mill Building, Lewiston | 207.782.7511
Uncle Andy’s Digest
12 March 2025
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out,
identity theft is a crime.

Wanna hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind... it’s too cheesy
Out and About
at ABC Pool
Take
The Luck
Out Of It
Let us help you
find your next
home!
Jon
Mercier
Mark
Turner
Deb
Morin
Linda
Dupuis
Tim Rucker,
I hope you brought
some Jager shots!
Lindsay
Wright
Mason
Dupuis
Malayka
Harriman
Dustin
Mallar
Design-Build, Turn-Key Packages,
Single or Multi-Level Homes, One Loan.
(No Construction Loan Needed in Most Cases)
Paige
Landry
Brandon
Caruso
368 Minot Avenue, Auburn | 207.333.6001 | mainesourcehomes.com
Dan Letourneau
I just found out I’m colorblind. The news came out of the purple!
20 Mollison Way in Lewiston – Walk-in hours available Mondays & Wednesday 10am-3pm
Larry Strickland
Tim,
Dan is too old to
have Jager shots.
But I'll have some!
1-800-434-3000
info@sweetser.org
www.LewistonHealing.org
Noah Binette
What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 13

Did You
Know?
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? Ones really heavy,
the others a little lighter.
• March was named
for the Latin Martius—aka
Mars, the
Roman god of war.
• The “Ides of March”
was a day in the Roman
calendar equivalent
to March 15th.
It was considered a
deadline for settling
debts. It was also the
day Julius Caesar
was assassinated.
• Daylight savings
time begins March 9.
• Saint Patrick’s Day
occurs every March
17th, celebrated in
many western countries
to commemorate
the day Saint
Patrick died.
• March’s Zodiac
signs are Pisces
(February 20 to
March 20) and Aries
(March 21 to April
20).
• March is the time of
year when animals
start waking up from
hibernation.
Muriel celebrated...
her 90th birthday with us
and can't wait for the next party!
The Meadows
Happy St. Patty’s Day!
“Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”
BUD LIGHT DRAFT
4PM - CLOSE
DINE IN ONLY
A warm home-style assisted living center for self-sufficient seniors!
We have availability starting at $1500 per month
#433 RT. 202, P.O. BOX 629, GREENE • 946-3007
HOUSE WINE
Sea40 Japanese Cuisine
40 East Ave, Lewiston ME 04240
795-6888 | www.sea40me.com
• The popular social
media outlet Twitter
was launched on
March 21, 2006, with
the first tweet going
out the same day.
• On March 10,
1876, Alexander
Graham Bell made
the first-ever phone
call.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
14 March 2025
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Any idea how to drive this thing?”

The police have arrested the tongue twister world champion. Authorities say that they'll
be giving him a tough sentence.
We Need Your Help!
We are looking for volunteers
to assist us with our new
Striving to invigorate hope,
bringing dreams to life.
Providing Direct Support To Maine Adults With Intellectual Disabilities.
life skills program.
• Yoga Instructor
one day a month (couple of hours)
• Chef/Cook
To provide cooking classes & instruction
These services can be very rewarding
in doing good for others.
Be part of something where others
can give your life new meaning
happyhaven.info | 134 Main St. Suite 1 & 2, Lewiston | Phone- 207-241-0274 | Fax- 207-241-7280
Out and About
at Poisson
& Sons
Auto Care
Steve stop! You
know I’ll do anything
for $2 dollar bills.
Don Poisson
& Steve Simard
How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
OIL & GAS BOILER
CLEANINGS
Get Your Yearly
Boiler Cleaning
and Servicing
DON’T WAIT!
Dan Poisson
Cleanings Only $275.00
*Plus materials if needed
Give Us A Call today! 207-754-4556
Mert Gould
Why are most people tired on April 1? They've just finished a 31-day March.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 15

Gone
Camping
Submitted by Pam Ashby
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
Sherlock Holmes and
Dr. Watson decide to
go on a camping trip.
After dinner and a
bottle of wine, they lay
down for the night, and
go to sleep.
Some hours later,
Holmes awoke and
nudged his faithful
friend.
“Watson, look up at the
sky and tell me what
you see.”
Watson replied, “I see
millions of stars.”
“What does that tell
you?” Holmes questioned.
THE AMERICAN LEGION
FAMILY
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays
and get a surprise!
“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
Members & Guests Welcome!
AMERICAN LEGION ACT
Veterans who were honorably discharged
but whose service did not fall into previously
defined war eras may now join
the American Legion immediately. The
eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,
until a time when the U.S. is no longer at
war, as determined by Congress.
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on
Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
For Veteran or Community services, call
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229
Hall Rentals Available
Call for more
information
207-782-1118
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118
HOURS: Monday - Wednesday: 12pm-8pm • Thursday 12pm-9pm
Friday: 12pm-11pm • Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm
MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS
AND YOUR CANTEEN HOST AMY!
FRIDAYS 7-11pm in March
Jerry Joe - March 7th & 21st • 4:30 - 6:30pm
BREAKFAST BUFFET - SUNDAY, MARCH 23 8AM-10AM
Scrambled eggs, sausage, gravy, baked beans, fried potatoes, crepes, toast,
english muffins, creton, juices, & coffee.
Adults $10 • Kids under 10 $5
SAINT PATRICK’S CORNED BEEF DINNER
SATURDAY MARCH 15 4-6PM
Corned beef, potatoes, cabbage, carrots,
turnip, dinner roll & dessert
$15 per person
SONS MEETING MONDAY MARCH 10TH AT 5:30PM
MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19 TH 2025
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6PM GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 7PM
Watson pondered for a
minute.
“Astronomically, it
tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of
planets. Astrologically,
I observe that Saturn is
in Leo. Horologically, I
deduce that the time is
approximately a quarter
past three. Theologically,
I can see that
God is all powerful and
that we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically,
I suspect that
we will have a beautiful
day tomorrow.”
Why are trees so forgiving? Every spring they turn over a new leaf.
WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER
NEW MEMBERS!
ArtVan
artvanprogram.org
RoundTable Technology
roundtabletechnology.com
“What does it tell you,
Holmes?” Watson
qustioned back.
Operation ReBoot Outdoors
operationrebootoutdoors.org
Simply Breathe Therapy
simplybreathelegacy.com
Holmes was silent for
a minute, then spoke,
“Watson, you idiot!
Someone has stolen
our tent!”
415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM
Uncle Andy’s Digest
16 March 2025
I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.

The gardener couldn’t wait for spring! He was so excited, he wet his plants!
What’s Happening at the Franco Center?
LINE DANCE LESSONS! 10am Wednesdays. Everyone is welcome!
$5 at the door. Every Wednesday, but check first.
FREE French conversation meetups at the Franco Center are at
10:30am every other Thursday, but check our calendar first.
Escape Room at the Franco Center! $10 per person. Reservations are required.
You have the escape room for one hour. Reserve your group’s ESCAPE ROOM
adventure at this link: https://bookeo.com/franco or call 207-514-7753.
More events are scheduled in 2025 ... stay tuned!
Rent the Franco Center! Call 207-333-3251 to save the date!
Friday, April 11
Doors / cash bar 6 p.m.
Show 7 p.m.
Tickets $30 advance
$35 at the door day of show
Band members are experienced musicians of today’s
generation dedicated to preserving the memory and
fan culture of The Beatles generation. By recreating
the Fab Four’s music, appearance, instruments, and
onstage banter, Studio Two performs favorite Beatles
hits that will bring people to the dance floor.
Show sponsors: Ann’s Flower Shop; and Platz Associates
Saturday, April 12 Doors / cash bar 6 p.m.
Show 7 p.m.
Tickets $30 advance
$35 at the door day of show
Amanda Tubbs & Friends have been performing
tribute shows throughout New England. They
perform Taylor Swift’s biggest hits, with costumes to
match! Band members are seasoned professionals
who are proud to have joined the “Swifties” of the
music world. Are you ready for it?!
Thursday, March 13: La Rencontre featuring students of L’Ecole Francaise du Maine.
Doors 10am; entertainment 11am; boiled dinner lunch to follow. $17 per person.
March Is…
• Red Cross Month
• National Athletic
Training Month
• Irish-American
Heritage Month
• National Kidney
Month
• National Social
Work Month
• National Women’s
History Month
• National Sauce
Month
• National Noodles
Month
• National Frozen
Food Month
• National Flour
Month
• National Credit
Education Month
• National Craft Month
• National
Cheerleading
Safety Month
• National Celery
Month
• National Caffeine
Awareness Month
• National Peanut
Month
• National Umbrella
Month
• National Nutrition
Month
Season Underwriter: Maple Way Dental Care;
Media Sponsors: Bennett Radio Group | Turner Publishing | Sun Journal | Uncle Andy’s Digest
46 Cedar St., Lewiston
207-689-2000
www.francocenter.org
I'm not a fan of spring cleaning. Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall,
or winter cleaning either.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 17

Blarney
Stone
Submitted by Pam Ashby
A group of Americans
are touring Ireland.
One of the women in
the group, Vanessa,
is a real curmudgeon,
constantly complaining.
“The bus seats are
uncomfortable, food
is terrible, too hot, too
cold, accomodation is
dreadful,” are some
of the issues Vanessa
has.
One day, the group
arrives at the site of the
famous Blarney Stone.
“Good luck will be followin’
ya all your days
if you kiss the Blarney
Stone,” their guide
says. “Unfortunately,
it’s being cleaned
today and so no one
will be able to kiss it.
Perhaps we can come
back tomorrow.”
Daylight saving time is on its way...everyone is losing sleep over it.
CHICKEN TERIYAKI
Sautéed Chicken Breast with Fresh Vegetables
and teriyaki, served over rice.
Absolutely delicious!
HOT MEALS ON COLD DAYS
Take Out
Available!
207-782-2135 Auburn Mall
Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm
DAILY SPECIALS
Fried Pickle Basket
Thatcher’s Burger
25oz domestic drafts
I went to a silent auction. I won a dog whistle and two mimes.
MONDAY - CLOSED
3 Beef Tacos
Thatcher’s Burrito
Well Margaritas • Coronas
SATURDAY
Stuffed Peppers
Buffalo Chicken Salad
Microbrews
FRIDAY
Clam Cake Basket
Fish & Chips
2 Hot Dogs w/fries
Miller Lite Bottles
SUNDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
12" Cheese Pizza
Bloody Mary’s
Domestic Light/Lite Drafts
“We can’t be here
tomorrow,” the nasty
woman shouts. “We
have some other boring
tour to go on, so I
guess we can’t kiss the
stupid stone.”
“Well now,” the guide
says, “it is said that if
you kiss someone who
has kissed the stone,
you’ll have the same
good fortune.”
“And I suppose you’ve
kissed the stone?”
Vanessa scoffs.
“No, ma’am,” the frustrated
guide responds
“But I have sat on it.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
18 March 2025
Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?"
The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan."

Who won the neck decorating contest? It was a tie.
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Locally Owned & Operated
150 East Ave. Lewiston
HOME, AUTO,
BUSINESS, & MORE
207-783-2246 | 888-983-2246
150 East Ave. Lewiston | 243 Mount Auburn Ave. Suite C, Auburn
Out and About
at Firehouse
Bar & Grill
Tracy Barnies,
Kristen Applegate,
& Zeb Knight
Residential Friendly Dumpsters
Bin Sizes:
6 yd. bin- 10’ long x 5.5’ wide - 3’ high
10 yd. bin - 10’ long x 7’ wide - 4’ high
14 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8 wide - 4.5’ high
20 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8’ wide - 6’ high
Dispatch
Office: 207-224-0337
Cell: 207-212-0736
170 N. Daggett Hill Rd.
Greene, ME 04236
portlandme@bintheredumpthat.com
Our Residential Friendly Design Includes
Easy Load Double Rear Doors
Driveway Protection Boards
Dependable Friendly Service
207-224-0337
www.bintheredumpthatusa.com
The face that
launched a
thousand tips.
Shelby Nadeau
Call us TODAY!
We maintain your home so you
don’t have to.
Services
• Inspections
• Air Duct Cleaning
•Dryer Vet Cleaning
• Heat Pump Cleaning
• Routine Home Maintenance
207-619-0868
Mikayla Akerman
Zeb Knight
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 19

Happy birthday
Layla bug!
I love you very much-
Mom and Sienna
Johnny Bsullak, from
Poland, ME, started
freestyle skiing self
taught, just 4 years ago,
now qualifies USASA
Nationals for the third
year and Futures Tour,
Congratulations!
Happy Birthday
month, Diana.
Johnny is raising money
to support his trips west
to USASA Nationals and
Future Tours US Ski &
Snowboard
gofund.me/9a66fed7
Happy Birthday
Amy Stacey Curtis,
hope you have
an amazing day!
Congratulations
Eric Grey for joining
the Fontaine Team!
Congratulations
to the Men’s CMCC Hockey
team on a great season!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
20 March 2025

Submit your shout out
today to be published
in the next issue!
* Must be submitted by 3/21 for APRIL.
Congratulations to
Student Of The Month,
Anna Theriault
(St. Dom's)
Auburn Exchange Club
SAVE THE DATE!
AUGUST 9TH
Inaugural
Congratulations to
Student Of The Month,
Brock Rancourt (LHS)
Auburn Exchange Club
Congratulations to
Student Of The Month,
Kia Thistle (ELHS)
Auburn Exchange Club
WISHES
IN THE VALLEY
AT LOST VALLEY
Give
someone a
Shout Out
today!
to benefit
WANTED
SPONSORS • VOLUNTEERS • DONATIONS
Live Music Food Trucks Cornhole Live Auction
Bucket Golf Challenge Disc Golf Challenge
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 21
FMI Email: WITV@gmail.com

Frog
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A man enters his
local bar holding a
frog and an iguana.
He sets them down
on the bar and says
to the bartender, “I
bet you $1000 that
my frog here can
sing any song you
can think of.”
“Ok,” says the bartender,
“How ‘bout
‘Blue Moon?”
The man whispers
something to the
frog, and the frog
starts singing Blue
Moon.
You don’t iron four-leaf clovers, because you don’t want to press your luck!
We are
looking
for new
crew
mates!
Servers, Bartenders,
Kitchen positions
available
Excellent
pay for
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mates!
The Village Inn
Open:
Wed-11-8pm
Thur-Sat 11-9pm
Sunday 11-8pm
Saint Patrick’s s Day Dinner Served
Saturday 15th & Sunday 16th
Check Out Our Weekly Specials
Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, & carrots.
207-782-7796 | 165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com | Open Wednesday - Sunday
“That’s amazing,”
says the bartender
as he slaps down
$1000.
“I’ll bet another
$1000 that my iguana
here can do that
too.”
“You’re on. Have
him sing the Star
Spangled Banner.”
The man whispers
something to the
iguana and it sings
the Star Spangled
Banner.
As the bartender
hands over another
$1000, a businessman
comes
up and says, “I just
saw that and I was
amazed. I want to
buy your iguana for
$100,000.”
continued on pg. 23
BOOKING SPRING & SUMMER 2025
EXCAVATION PROJECTS
Your Trusted
Excavation Contractor
• CIVIL
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•RESIDENTIAL
207.754.2343
shawn@hirdcontracting.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
22 March 2025
Leprechauns are just trying to make our lives a little more ‘pot’-ent!

I’m not Irish, but my luck’s as green as the grass today!
continued from pg. 22
The man said ok,
and he exchanged
the iguana for the
money and the
businessman left.
The bartender
said “What are you
nuts?! You could
have made millions
with that iguana!”
The man said “Oh,
the iguana can’t
sing. The frog’s a
ventriloquist.”
Swindled
Submitted by Pam Ashby
A newsboy was
standing on the
corner with a stack
of papers, yelling,
“Read all about it,
fifty people swindled!
Fifty people
swindled!”
Curious, a man
walked over, bought
a paper, and
checked the front
page.
Finding nothing, the
man said, “There’s
nothing in here
about fifty people
being swindled.”
The newsboy
ignored him and
went on, calling
out, “Read all about
it, fifty-one people
swindled!”
Kiss me, I’m magically delicious!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 23

Every day feels like a lucky charm.
Free Substance Abuse
1st Evaluation Session
*(Excluding DEEP Services)*
Roy’s
FoodLand
Best Chicken
& Ham Salad
In Town!
New You, New Beggining!
Please Call To Schedule An Appointment
207.241.7959 | 87 Essex St. Lewiston, Maine 04240
SATURDAY
Beans, bread/
rolls & cole slaw
$11.99
WEDNESDAY
Ham, Veggie,
Salami, or
Pepperoni Italians
$3.49
70 Broad Street, Auburn
207-783-8471
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm
Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed
CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER
Spring Ahead & Schedule Your AC
Maintenance Before It Gets Too Hot!
Jayco- High Quality Design & Award Winning RV’s.
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Stop in today and check out the new 2025 models!
Check Our Large Selection
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207-777-5600
24 Hour Service
Proudly serving Auburn,
Lewiston, and the surrounding
communities!
235 N. River Road, Auburn
pro-techrefrigeration.com | theresa@pro-techrefrigeration.com
LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE
• Essential after surgery
• Eases swelling in tissue
• Improves circulation
• Aids detoxification process
207.240.6415 | www.memassagetherapy.com
Lincoln Street
RADIATOR SHOP
Family owned & operated since 1967
Bring it to our
experienced
technicians
for service.
Vehicle Problems:
We service radiators,
AC, cooling & heating
systems, gas tanks
and lots more!
1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston | Call Today! 207-784-9356
Potato Pizza
Roasted garlic,
mashed potatoes,
bacon, provalone,
cheddar cheese, & red
onions topped with
sour cream
85 Center Street, Auburn | 207-784-8221 | 11a-9p daily
Poisson & Sons Auto Care
260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144
FULL SERVICE GAS STATION
Winter Car Care
• Check your car fluids, lights, & tires
• Make sure your engine is in good condition
• Keep your wipers in good condition
• Keep an emergency kit in your car
MARCH
Stickers
Are Due!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
24 March 2025
I’ll be shamrockin’ all day long!

You used to be able to get air for free at gas stations, but now it's $1. That's inflation for you.
Famous
March
Birthdays
Nightly Weekend
Entertainment!
OFF
Our Famous
Sunday Blues Jam 1-5pm
New - Open Mic Night
Thursdays at 6pm
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK!
61 Portland Rd. • 207-657-7973 • Gray, Maine
TWO Pool Tables,
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Fill the Plate
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to benefit
Meals on
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Promotes
Relaxation
11 Mechanic Falls Road, Oxford
Melt away the stress
and tension with our
deep tissue massage
therapy.
Improves Sleep
Quality
www.essencewellnessspa.com
Friday, March 21, 7-9 a.m.
at Hilton Garden Inn Auburn
Featuring a keynote by singer Julia Gagnon,
The Music in My Veins, and honoring
Margaret Craven with the Ikaria Award
for improving the lives of older adults.
1-Ron Howard (71)
2-Jon Bon Jovi (63)
3-Jackie
Joiner-Kersee (63)
4-Chaz Bono (56)
5-Jake Lloyd (36)
6-Shaquille O’Neal (53)
7-Ivan Lendl (65)
8-Lester Holt (66)
9-Emmanuel Lewis (54)
10-Chuck Norris (85)
11-Sam Donaldson (91)
12-James Taylor (77)
13-Neil Sedaka (86)
14-Michael Caine (92)
15-Judd Hirsch (90)
16-Erik Estrada (76)
17-Kurt Russell (74)
18-Vanessa Williams (62)
19-Bruce Willis (70)
20-Bobby Orr (77)
21-Rosie O’Donnell (63)
22-William Shatner (94)
23-Chaka Khan (72)
24-Peyton Manning (49)
25-Elton John (78)
26-Diana Ross (81)
27-Quentin Tarantino (62)
28-Lady Gaga (39)
29-Elle MacPherson (61)
30-Celine Dion (57)
31-Christopher
Walken (82)
Lady Gaga
$30 per person/$35 at the door
For info or tickets, call 795-4010 or
visit seniorsplus.org/march-for-meals
We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you
heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 25

CALL THE PROS
Accounting
& Tax
Service You
Can Trust!
MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.
Certified Public Accountant
Tax Planning & Preparation
for Individuals and Business
P.O. Box 895 | 207.782.1040
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B | Auburn, ME 04212
The Moms in your
life deserve
a Massage!
It’s not too early to
get your gift card!
• Birthday • Anniversary
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918 Sabattus St. Lewiston
(207) 402-8654
Tuesday-Friday 2-8pm • Saturday 1-5pm | www.lamassagemaine.com
Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services
Serving Lewiston & Auburn Since 2018
Mike Magretto
Veteran Owned & Operated
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
207-530-8890
We make
you look
Great
• Posters
• Booklets
• Carbonless forms
• Envelopes
• Business Cards & More!
EVERGREEN
CUSTOM PRINTING, INC.
Call for a quote today!
782-0525
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn | Info@evergreencustomprinting.com
Clinic now open!
Ask your primary care or
specialty provider for a referral
to Andwell Audiology, today!
72 Strawberry Avenue, Lewiston
Tell our advertisers you saw
them in Uncle Andy’s Digest!
Steve
Simard
Marketing Specialist
207.754.1815
steve@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Proud Publisher of
TWO local magazines!
2 Great Falls Plaza Suite 1B, Auburn
207.783.7039 | LAMetroMagazine.com | UncleAndys.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
26 March 2025
Shamrocks and leprechauns, but no gold... typical March.

RON’S
TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE
YOUR FULL SERVICE
REPAIR FACILITY
CALL THE PROS
We specialize in domestic
car & truck, automatic
& manual transmissions,
transfer cases & differentials.
Full Service
propane
installation
for standby
generators!
Tires & State Inspections Available!
515 Gardiner Rd. Wales
375-4924
Coach Terry’s
REDEMPTION
CENTER
The friendly redemption center
Happy Saint
Patty’s Day
Ron
Charpentier, Jr.,
Owner
225-2008 | Tidswell Road Turner | Open daily 8am-4pm
MOBILE CPR & BLS TRAINING
FOR ALL OF MAINE
For both healthcare professionals
and lay people. We come to your
location for your convenience!
Offering Certification
and Re-certification
CALL TODAY
19 Roy Street Lewiston | 207-330-0322
Accepting New Customers
For Regular Delivery
Get Ready for Vacation with
a Snorkel or SCUBA class!
We Offer Scuba
Classes All
Winter Long!
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise
Call
Today!
805 Main Street, Lewiston • 784-7300 • www.skindiversparadise.net
Discover a variety of
GUNS • AMMO • SUPPLIES
Fine Line
Gun Shop
(207) 998-2374
590 Plains Rd., Poland
• Tanks
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207.810.3433 | strongpropaneservices.com
Ruger Max-9
Optic Ready 9mm
• 3.20" Barrel
• Tritium Fiber
Optic Front Sight
• Two 12 rd Mags
& One 10rd Mag
Tim
Rucker
Mr. Out & About
207.576.8049
Tim@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Proud Publisher of
TWO local magazines!
2 Great Falls Plaza Suite 1B, Auburn
207.576.8049 | LAMetroMagazine.com | UncleAndys.com
Get The latest
copy first!
delivered at
your door.
Subscriptions available at
lametromagazine.com
Can’t find a pot of gold? Just find the pub instead!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 27

If March were a person, it would be that friend who’s always changing plans.
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numbers available at eriehome.com/erie-licenses/
Uncle Andy’s Digest
28 March 2025
March is the perfect excuse to drink green things and pretend it’s healthy.

Call us
for a free
estimate!
Cleanings for:
Property Management
Commercial/ Office
Post Construction
Rental Turn Over
207-713-1550
BUSINESS
SP TLIGHT
Richard Moylan
(207) 777-0050
791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn
richardmoylan@allstate.com
Insurance and coverages subject to terms.
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and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire
and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook,
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The Lecture
Submitted by Mark
Turcotte
On New Year’s Eve,
Roger was in no
shape to drive, so
he sensibly left his
vehicle in the parking
garage and walked
home.
As he was walking
along, he was
stopped by a policeman.
“What are
you doing out here
at four o’clock in the
morning?” asked the
police officer.
“I’m on my way to a
lecture,” answered
Roger.
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“And who on earth, in
their right mind, is going
to give a lecture
at this time on New
Year’s?” responded
the policeman sarcastically.
“My wife,” slurred
Roger with a grin.
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The Scale
Submitted by Pam Ashby
Karen’s husband,
Ben, stepped on
one of those penny
scales that tell you
your fortune and
weight, and dropped
in a coin.
“Listen to this,” Ben
said to his wife,
showing her a small,
white card.
“It says I’m energetic,
bright, resourceful
and a great
husband.”
“Yeah”, Karen nodded,
“And it has your
weight wrong, too.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 29

Out and About
at Poisson
& Sons
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Coverage
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A vacationing doctor
met an old lawyer friend
and asked him what he
was doing there.
• Elevator
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• 55 Years and Older
• Air Conditioning
• Entry Video Intercom System
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The lawyer replied,
“Remember that lousy
real estate I bought?
Well, it caught fire, so
here I am with the fire
insurance proceeds.
“What are you doing
here?” The lawyer
asked. The doctor
replied, “Remember
that real estate I had in
Mississippi? Well, the
river overflowed, and
here I am with the flood
insurance proceeds.”
The lawyer looked puzzled.
“Gee,” he asked,
“how did you start the
flood?”
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681 Sabattus St., Lewiston, ME 04240
Uncle Andy’s Digest
30 March 2025
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Entrepreneur
Submitted by Thomas Hill
A young man, Brian,
asked an old rich
man how he made
his money.
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The old guy thought
for a moment and
said, “Well, Brian, it
was 1932, The depth
of the Great Depression,
I was down
to my last nickel. I
invested that nickel in
an apple. I spent the
entire day polishing
the apple and, at
the end of the day, I
sold the apple for ten
cents.”
The old man continued,
“The next
morning, I invested
those ten cents in two
apples. I spent the
entire day polishing
them and sold them
at 5:00 pm for 20
cents. I continued this
system for a month,
by the end of which
I’d accumulated a
fortune of $1.37.”
“And that’s how you
built an empire?”
Brian asked.
“Heavens, no!” the
old man replied. “The
wife an I won the
lottery.”
30+
Years of
Experience!
Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston
I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 31

| EVENTS |
MARCH
March 4
Trivia Tuesday
Poland Provisions
1220 Maine St. Poland
6pm
PolandProvisions.com
Xander Nelson
Fast Breaks
1465 Lisbon St. Lewiston
7pm
Robin & Gary Footer
March 6, 13, 20, 27
Trivia with Nate
Craft Brew Underground
34 Court St. Auburn
7pm
Facebook.com/CBUAuburn
Bennett DuBois
Colby Michaud
Uncle Andy’s Digest
32 March 2025
March 7
Tween Anime Club
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
3:30pm
AuburnPublicLibrary.org
March 7-16
Nunsense
Community Little Theatre
30 Academy St. Auburn
LAclt.com
March 8
Genealogy Hour
Androscoggin Historical Society
93 Lisbon St. Lewiston
11am
Androhistory.org
Paint and Sip
Wicked Illustrations
140 Canal St. Lewiston
4pm - 6pm
WickedIllustrations.com
Phoenix No Limits Karate
Comedy Fundraiser
Burnt Ends BBQ
120 Center St. Auburn
5:30pm - 9pm
GreatFallsComedyClub.com
Congratulations Seth and Emily Vincent. Winners of the
sweetheart basket sponsored by Davincis.
March 8-9
Maine Music
Society Chorale
Franco Center
46 Cedar St. Lewiston
MaineMusicSociety.org
March 9
Josey Scott
Mixers
136 Sabattus Rd. Sabattus
6pm
Facebook.com/Mixersmaine
March 10
Death Cafe L/A
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
5:15pm
AuburnPublicLibrary.org
March 11
Baby Storytime
Lewiston Public Library
200 Lisbon St. Lewiston
10:15am
LPLonline.org
Yin Yoga & Meditation
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
4:30pm
AuburnPublicLibrary.org
March 12
Make Art with ArtVan
Lewiston Public Library
200 Lisbon St. Lewiston
3:30pm-5pm
LPLonline.org

| EVENTS |
Calendar
Sponsored By:
2025
Lydia's
Lunch Bunch
March 12
Safe Voices Drop-In
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
4pm
SafeVoices.org
March 21
Fill the Plate Breakfast
Hilton Garden Inn Riverwatch
14 Great Falls Plaza, Auburn
7am-9am
SeniorsPlus.org
March 27
Acoustic Open Mic
Obscura Café & Drinkery
108 Lisbon St. Lewiston
6:30pm
ObscuraMaine.com
March 13
La Rencontre
Franco Center
46 Cedar St. Lewiston
10am - 1pm
FrancoCenter.org
March 14-23
Halfway There
The Public Theatre
31 Maple St. Lewiston
ThePublicTheatre.org
March 14
Gallery Show Opening
Reception for “Fulfillment”
USM Lewiston Campus
51 Westminster St. Lewiston
5:30pm-7pm
aeforme.org
March 14
Dinner & Comedy Show
Willows Awake Winery
10 Leeds Junction Rd. Leeds
5:30pm Dinner - 7:30 Show
WillowsAwake.com
March 15
Saint Patrick's
Corned Beef Dinner
American Legion 153
71 South Main St, Auburn
11am Potluck
March 15
Vets in the Valley
Lost Valley
200 Lost Valley Rd. Auburn
LostValleySki.com
Second Saturday Social
Obscura Café & Drinkery
108 Lisbon St. Lewiston
ObscuraMaine.com
March 21
Maine Nordiques
vs. Northeast Generals
The Colisee
190 Birch St. Lewiston
7:30pm
MaineNordiques.com
March 23
Breakfast buffet
American Legion 153
71 South Main St, Auburn
8-10am Potluck
March 23, 30
Public Skating
The Colisee
190 Birch St. Lewiston
11am - 12:30pm
TheColisee.com
March 26
CMCC Baseball
vs. UMaine Augusta
Central Maine Community
College
1250 Turner St. Auburn
6pm
CMMustangs.com
CMCC Softball
vs. UMaine Augusta
Central Maine Community
College
1250 Turner St. Auburn
7:30pm
CMMustangs.com
March 27
Maine Nordiques
vs. Elmira Aviators
The Colisee
190 Birch St. Lewiston
7pm
MaineNordiques.com
March 28
Movement at the Museum -
Taiko Drumming
Maine MILL
35 Canal St. Lewiston
5pm
MaineMill.org
Maine Nordiques
vs. Elmira Aviators
The Colisee
190 Birch St. Lewiston
7:30pm
MaineNordiques.com
March 29
CMCC Softball
vs. Word of Life
Central Maine Community College
1250 Turner St. Auburn
12pm
CMMustangs.com
Send us your events for April by March 21 . Call 207.783.7039 or email billing@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Covering News
and Events In The
Greater LA Area.
Talking to the people
making a difference.
From the Lydia Media
studios in the heart of
Lewiston-Auburn, Maine,
it’s Lydia’s Lunch Bunch –
L-A’s Afternoon Morning
Show with Mark, Sara,
and Pam!
We’re covering news and
events in the greater L-A
area and talking to the
people making a difference
in our community.
Subscribe and Listen!
Give us a listen wherever you
get your podcasts and feel
free to share your comments,
questions, or suggestions at
podcast@lydiamediallc.com
207-783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 33

Directory of Advertisers
AUTOMOTIVE
Armand’s Auto Body............................C
armandsautobody.com
Lincoln Street Radiator.................... 24
lincolnstreetradiator.com
Poisson & Sons Auto Care................ 24
207.782.9144
Ron’s Transmission............................ 27
207.375.492
BANKING SERVICES
Community Credit Union....................C
communitycreditunion.com
Dirigo Federal Credit Union............ 26
dirigofcu.com
Otis Federal Credit Union................ 30
207.879.0900
CLEANING PROFESSIONALS
Bin There Dump That.......................19
207.2240337
Collaborative Cleaners......................29
207.713.1550
Emerald Janitorial..............................26
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
Scoop 4Paws........................................29
207.713.1550
ServiceMaster Restore......................31
smfireandwater.com
Simply Clean ME LLC.......................14
207.370.7244
COLLECTIBLES
Morin’s Refinishing & Restoration....12
207.782.7511
CONSTRUCTION & EXCAVATION
Hird Contracting................................ 22
207.754.2343
DENTISTS & DENTURES
Smile Again Dentures.......................... 4
SmileAgainDentures.com
EDUCATION/BUSINESS SERVICES
Barclay's Skindivers Paradise........... 27
207.784.7300
Central Maine Community College......10
207.755.5280
LA Metro Chamber of Commerce.... 16
lametrochamber.com
ELECTRICAL
DeBlois Electric, Inc.......................... 10
Uncle debloiselectric.com
Andy’s Digest
34 March 2025
ENTERTAINMENT
Auburn Exchange Club Gun Show.....11
Franco Center......................................17
francocenter.org
Maine Nordiques............................................ 8
mainenordiques.com
Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine.................... 14
sea40me.com
Tailgate Bar & Grill........................... 25
TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
Vacationland RV & Camping Show...... 2
William J. Rogers Post #153...........16
207.782.1118
FINANCIAL SERVICES
Michael G. Spaulding........................ 26
207.782.1040
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 31
modern-woodmen.org
FOOD & BEVERAGE
Blackie’s..................................................C
blackiesfarm.com
Dad's Place............................................ 5
dadsplacemaine.com
Firehouse Grill................................... BC
firehouseauburn.com
George’s Pizza.....................................29
georgespizza.com
Gipper’s................................................31
gippers.com
GridIron Restaurant............................ 8
gridironrestaurant.com
Mac’s Grill............................................. 7
MacsGrill.com
Pat’s Pizza Auburn.............................. 24
patsauburn.com
Roopers Beverage & Redemption...35
roopersbeverage.com
Roy’s Foodland....................................24
ShopAtRoysFoodland.com
Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine.................... 19
sea40me.com
Tailgate Bar & Grill........................... 25
TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
Thatcher’s............................................18
207-782-2135
The Village Inn-Auburn.................... 22
villageinnmaine.com
FURNITURE
Morin’s Refinishing & Restoration......9
207.782.7511
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Carpe Diem..........................................24
207-241-7959
Essence Wellness Spa LLC............... 25
essencewellnessspa.com
Happy Haven....................................... 15
happyhaven.info
LA Massage.........................................26
LAMassageMaine.com
ME Massage Therapy........................ 24
memassagetherapy.com
Maine Mobile CPR............................ 27
207-330-0322
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 31
modern-woodmen.org
Sweetser...............................................13
1.800.343.3000
HEATING & PLUMBING
Heat Pumps of Maine.........................C
heatpumpsofmaine.com
Pro-Tech Refrigeration..................... 24
pro-techrefrigeration.com
United Piping Heating & Plumbing.... 15
207.754.4556
Strong Propane...................................27
207.810.3433
HOME IMPROVEMENT
ABC Pool................................................2
207-783-0858
Dow Media Home Show......................... 23
mainehomeshow.com
Morin’s Refinishing & Restoration......9
207.782.7511
Upfront Home Inspections............... 19
207.619.0868
Got Bugs Pest Services LLC............29
207-242-4988
INSURANCE
Andy Valley Insurance
& Retirement.......................................29
agents.horacemann.com/AVIR
Champoux Insurance......................... 19
888.983.2246
Lisa Laliberte-State Farm................... 6
207.783.3332
John Blanchette NFP Insurance...... 30
207.784.9358
Richard Moylan-Allstate................... 29
207.777.0050

MISCELLANEOUS
Dow Media Home Show....................23
mainehomeshow.com
Happy Haven.......................................27
happyhaven.info
LA Chamber of Commerce..............16
Stello Place Amenities......................30
207-650-9119
William J. Rogers Post #153...........16
207.782.1118
PRINT & PROMOTIONAL
Coastal T-Shirts....................................6
coastaltshirts.com
Evergreen Custom Printing.............26
207.782.0525
Seniors Plus Retirement...................25
207.795.4010
WIGY Radio.......................................18
wigyradio.com
REAL ESTATE
Debbie Bodwell-Guild Mortgage..... BC
207.754.3962
Maine Real Estate Experience........ 29
themainerealstateexperience.com
Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
Maine Source Realty..........................13
mainesourcehomes.com
Pinepoint Realty................................BC
207.376.2683
Stello Place Amenities......................30
207-650-9119
Upfront Home Inspections...............10
upfronthome.me
RECREATION
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise........... 27
207.784.7300
Call of the Wild RV Center............. 24
callofthewildrv.com
ABC Pool..............................................18
207.783.0858
REDEMPTION CENTERS
Coach Terry’s Redemption Center....27
207.225.2008
Roopers Beverage & Redemption.....35
roopersbeverage.com
Dad's Place............................................5
dadsplacemaine.com
RETIREMENT
Andwell Health Partners...................26
andwell.org
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 31
modern-woodmen.org
The Chapman House
Assisted Living ....................................9
207.783.0961
The Meadows Senior Living............10
207.946.3007
SPORTING GOODS
Fine Line Gun Shop...........................27
207.998.2374
Barclay's Skindivers Paradise........... 27
207.784.7300
Follow Us
On Facebook
& Instagram!
C - front cover | IFC - inside front cover | BC - back cover | IBC - inside back cover
RoopersBeverage.com
BEERS TO SIP
LUCK TO SHARE
STOP BY ROOPERS
FOR ST. PATRICK’S
DAY CHEERS!
The Party Starts at Roopers!
794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353
545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047
686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200
980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072
1420 Lisbon St., Lewiston | 333.3095
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 35

$10
$10
March Special
Irish Sunrise
207-376-4959 • 47 Broad Street, Auburn • www.firehouseauburn.com • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey
RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family
We are stronger together
Debbie Bodwell
NMLS# 280336
Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net
181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210
207.754.3962
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p
I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org)
Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org.
Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com
36 March 2025