Uncle Andy's Digest April 2025

UNCLE
DIGEST
ANDY’S
FREE
APRIL 2025
SINCE 1996
“Hurry back, we’re lonesome here!”
- Blackie
Your Local Food
Headquarters!
• Fresh Produce
• Local Milk & Eggs
OPEN YEAR ROUND!
BlackiesFarm.com
Eat Fresh, Buy Local!
Open Every Day 6:00am-7:00pm
Open Easter 6:00am - 5:00pm
966 Minot Ave. – Auburn | 207-786-0005
• Fresh & Ready Deli
Side Salads
• Fresh Fruit Salads
• Frozen Local Meats
• Bread & Bakery Items
SNAP/EBT purchases
receive 50% off all fruits &
vegetables instantly
207-782-7113
Technician
Wanted
Apply Within!
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 1

No one does it like Mac’s
Maine’s #1 steakhouse for a reason.
Where the locals eat!
COOKED TO PERFECTION!
Come in and watch
your favorite
baseball team on 11
TV’s in our bar!
Not a bad seat in
the house.
Go Red Sox
Seafood Scampi
Shrimp & scallop tossed with spinach,
tomato and penne in a light garlic sauce.
Absolutely Delicious.
Starting April 29
Opening on Tuesdays!
Ask us about
our new
Coaster
Club!
Let Mac’s Cater Your Next Event!
Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays, Corporate Parties, & more!
No event too BIG or SMALL... We cater it ALL!
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com

We’re here for you
e here for Wanna learn the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once.
We’re here for you
Modern
Modern
Woodmen
Woodmen
of
of
America
America
continues
continues
to
to
be
be
strong
strong
and
and
stable,
stable,
even
even
in
in
these
these
times
times
of
of
uncertainty.
uncertainty.
We’ve
We’ve
been
been
around
around
since
since
1883,
1883,
standing
standing
strong
strong
through
through
world
world
wars,
wars,
national
national
disease
disease
outbreaks,
outbreaks,
depressions
depressions
and
and
recessions.
recessions.
America continues to Do
Do be you
you strong have
have
questions
questions and stable, or
or
concerns
concerns even in about
about these your
your times financial
financial of plan,
plan,
call
call
today.
today.
We
We
will
will
continue
continue
en around since 1883, to
to
be
be
here
here standing for
for
you.
you. strong through world wars, national
pressions and recessions.
ions or concerns about Modern your Woodmen financial Art Chamberlain*
of America continues to be strong Paul and Colasante* stable, even in these times Mike of
Art Chamberlain* plan, call today. We will continue Paul Colasante*
Mike
uncertainty. We’ve
Lewiston,
Lewiston, been
ME
ME around
04240
04240 since 1883, standing
Lewiston,
Lewiston, strong
ME
ME through
04240
04240 world wars, national
207-514-7003
207-782-8823
disease outbreaks, 207-514-7003 depressions and recessions. 207-782-8823
Do you have questions or concerns about your financial plan, call today. We will continue
to be here for you.
amberlain*
on, ME 04240
14-7003
rd
emanche
ton, ME 04240
86-3622
eidrich*
ton, ME 04240
76-5656
elkey*
ton, ME 04240
86-2573
Paul Colasante*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-782-8823
Richard Art Richard Chamberlain*
Courtemanche
Lewiston, Courtemanche ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-514-7003
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622
207-786-3622
Stacy Fortin
Rumford, ME 04276
207-357-5429
Ted Heidrich*
Lewiston,
Ted Richard Heidrich*
ME 04240
Lewiston, Courtemanche ME 04240
207-576-5656
207-576-5656
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622
Matthew Nadeau*
Winthrop, Kim Ted
Kim
Heidrich* Pelkey* ME 04364
207-395-5177
Lewiston,
Pelkey*
ME
Lewiston, 04240
ME 04240
207-786-2573
207-576-5656
207-786-2573
Mike
Courtemanche*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
Paul Stacy
Stacy Colasante*
Fortin
Fortin
Lewiston, Rumford, ME
Rumford, 04276
ME 04240
207-357-5429
04276
207-782-8823
207-357-5429
Paul Gagne*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
Matthew Nadeau*
Winthrop,
Matthew Stacy Fortin Nadeau*
ME 04364
Winthrop, Rumford, ME 04276 04364
207-395-5177
207-395-5177
207-357-5429
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston, ME 04240
Seth Matthew Vlahakos* Nadeau*
207-786-3612
Windham, Winthrop, Seth Vlahakos*
ME 04364 04062
207-395-5177
Windham, ME 04062
207-407-7576
207-407-7576
* Registered representative. Seth Kim Vlahakos*
Securities Pelkey* offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of
Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Seth Inc., Vlahakos*
Modern Woodmen of Windham, America.
wholly owned subsidiary of
Lewiston, Member: ME ME 04062 04240 FINRA, SIPC
Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC
Windham, ME 04062
207-407-7576
207-786-2573
207-407-7576
Courtemanche*
Lewiston,
Courtemanche*
ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
207-783-8921
Paul Mike Gagne*
Lewiston,
Paul Gagne*
Courtemanche* ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
207-783-8921
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston,
Ron Paul Ouellette* Gagne*
ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3612
207-786-3612
207-576-3426
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3612
MODERN WOODMEN
OF AMERICA
APRIL 2025
ACTIVITIES
Tuesday, April 15th
Dairy Queen
4:00-7:00pm
661 Minot Ave Auburn
Members: $5.00
Guests: $6.00
Purchase Tickets: April 9th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Tuesday, April 22nd
Roy’s Breakfast
7:00-10:00am
5 Washington Street Auburn
Members: $5.00
Guests: $6.00
Purchase Tickets: April 9th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Thursday, April 24th
Moon Stone Pottery
11:00am
186 Turner Street Auburn
Members: $15.00
Guests: $20.00
Purchase Tickets: April 9th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Tuesday, April 29th
Fielder’s Choice
4:00-7:00pm
680 Minot Ave Auburn
Members: $3.00
Guests: $3.50
Purchase Tickets: April 9th
(8:30am-1:00pm)
Reminder: Please do not
call the restaurants. If you
have a question, please
call the office at 207-782-
1833 or 207-333-6052 and
speak with Jamie. In order
to attend you must have
a ticket. Tickets must be
purchased at the MWA District
Office at 184 Webster
Street Lewiston, ME on the
dates/times listed for each
activity. Menus are subject
to change.
Most importantly-Have Fun!
rities offered through MWA
*
Financial
Registered
Services
representative.
Inc., a wholly
Securities
owned
offered
subsidiary
through MWA
of
Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of
Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC
Member: FINRA, SIPC
People call me self-centered, but enough about them…
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 3

Out and About
at Coach Terry’s
Redemption
Center
Stop in to enter
our free Easter
basket drawings!
My job at the farm pays me in vegetables. I deserve a better celery.
Smile Again
Smile Again Dentures
Dentures
Angelo
Mike
Adkins, LD
Joe
Adkins, LD
Devin Corliss
Cassandra
Gagnon, LD
Licensed Denturists
Our Services
Rebases • Relines • Repairs
Full Dentures • Immediate Dentures
Partial Dentures
20
Repairs
usually
same day
service!
All work done on-site.
Jessica Johnson
Uncle Andy’s Digest
4 April 2025
801 Webster Street, Lewiston | 514-0660
SmileAgainDentures.com | smileagaindentures@gmail.com
To make a long story short, I became an editor.
Hot
self

There’s No Place Like...
YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP FOR: Amazing Food, Lottery Tickets,
Agency Liquor Store With Beer Cave, & Redemption Center!
Grab n’ Go!
Hot & Ready
Order ahead,
or sit and eat!
207-345-5551
Hot & Iced coffee
self-serve station!
Donate your bottles to:
Help grant a wish to
a local child battling
a critical illness!
REDEMPTION CENTER
Located in the building behind Dad’s Place
6 ¢
on all 5¢ returns with this coupon
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm
(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays)
(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) UAD exp. 4.30.25
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 5
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls | dadsplacemaine.com

What type of shoes do frogs wear in the spring? Open toad.
Let’s talk today!
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.®
CALL ME TODAY.
It’s
why
we’re
here.
30 years
in business.
Always a call or click away!
Call, click or stop by today.
Hats
Quality Products
Reasonable Pricing
Contractors
Landscapers
Baseball & Softball
Lacross
Track
Now offering
online stores
Mugs
Pens
Bags
Call us for a quote TODAY! 207.784.4184
205 Washington St. South, Auburn | coastaltshirts.com
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
Our Team
PAM
ASHBY
PUBLISHER
STEVE
SIMARD
SALES
TIM
RUCKER
SALES
MARK
TURCOTTE
MEDIA COORDINATOR
TIM
ELWELL
GRAPHIC DESIGNER
CARICATURES COURTESY OF J. ANTHONY FIORI | @THE_ARTIST_J_ANTHONY_FIORI)
Uncle Andy’s Digest
is distributed by the first Friday of every month by Lydia Media LLC with its world headquarters located at 2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn, Maine, USA.
Published and distributed since 1996 throughout Central Maine and mailed to subscribers all over the Free World. Subscriptions are $49 .95 /year.
UncleAndys.com|Office: 207-783-7039
While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very hard to ensure the accuracy of the information in our clients’ advertisements and our publication in general,
we are not responsible for vendor availability, typographical errors, technical inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or omissions.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
6 April 2025
I lost all my winter weight. Now I just have spring rolls.

When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance for a smoking hot body.
Let Us Help You Find
Your Home This Spring!
Easy
Question
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
One day, Einstein has
to speak at an important
science conference.
On the way there, he
tells his driver that looks
a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these
conferences. I always
say the same things
over and over!"
Jon
Mercier
Design-Build, Turn-Key Packages, Single or Multi-Level Homes, One Loan.
(No Construction Loan Needed in Most Cases)
Mark
Turner
Deb
Morin
Linda
Dupuis
Lindsay
Wright
Mason
Dupuis
Malayka
Harriman
368 Minot Avenue, Auburn | 207.333.6001 | mainesourcehomes.com
I threw a ball for my dog. It was expensive, but he looks great in a tuxedo.
FULL SERVICE PROPANE
INSTALLATION
FOR STANDBY GENERATORS!
Dustin
Mallar
Paige
Landry
Accepting New
Delivery Customers!
Tanks
Trenching
Piping
Propane
Connection
strongpropaneservices.com | Call Us TODAY - 207.810.3433
Brandon
Caruso
The driver agrees:
"You're right. As your
driver, I attended all of
them, and even though
I don't know anything
about science, I could
give the conference in
your place."
"That's a great idea!"
says Einstein. "Let's
switch places then!"
So they switch clothes
and as soon as they arrive,
the driver dressed
as Einstein goes on
stage and starts giving
the usual speech,
while the real Einstein,
dressed as the car
driver, attends it.
But in the crowd,
there is one scientist
who wants to impress
everyone and thinks of
a very difficult question
to ask Einstein, hoping
he won't be able to
respond. So this guy
stands up and interrupts
the conference by
posing his very difficult
question. The whole
room goes silent, holding
their breath, waiting
for the response.
The driver looks at him,
dead in the eye, and
says :
"Sir, your question is so
easy to answer that I'm
going to let my driver
answer it for me."
My wife blocked me on social media because I made too many bird puns.
Well, toucan play at that game.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 7

NOTABLE
APRIL DATES
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
1 - April Fools’ Day
2 - Peanut Butter
& Jelly Day
3 - Chocolate
Mousse Day
4 - Burrito Day
5 - Gold Star
Spouses Day
6 - New Beer’s Eve
7 - Beer Day
8 - Zoo Lovers Day
9 - Unicorn Day
10 - Siblings Day
11 - Pet Day
12 - Grilled Cheese
Sandwich Day
13 - Scrabble Day
14 - Gardening Day
15 - Tax Day
16 - Wear Your PJs
to Work Day
17 - Cheeseball Day
18 - High Five Day
19 - Amaretto Day
20 - Volunteer
Recognition Day
21 - Kindergarten Day
22 - Earth Day
23 - Picnic Day
24 - Bucket List Day
25 - Take Our
Daughters & Sons
to Work Day
26 - Pretzel Day
27 - Babe Ruth Day
28 - Superhero Day
29 - Zipper Day
30 - Adopt a Shelter
Pet Day
OIL & GAS BOILER
CLEANINGS
If I were rich, I’d give most of my money to the poor.
But, I’m poor, so I give most of my money to the rich.
My bald friend still owns a comb. He just can’t part with it.
*based on generator and load size.
Get Your Yearly
Boiler Cleaning
and Servicing
Cleanings Only $275.00
*Plus materials if needed
DON’T WAIT!
Give Us A Call today! 207-754-4556
COOK UP A STORM.
DURING A STORM.
When a bad storm or utility outage
knocks out power, a reliable KOHLER®
generator keeps your lights on, your
fridge cold, and your house protected.
And it can power your entire home.* So
turn up the heat. No matter the weather,
we’re with you.
From engines to generators,
we give the world power.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
8 April 2025
I was kicked out of the coffee club for wearing a tea-shirt.

The word “incorrectly” is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary.
Justin
Knowles
of Main St.
Music Lessons
SINCE 1925
Furniture Refinishing and Restoration
CELEBRATING 100 YEARS
OF SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY IN 2025!
LA’S #1 STOP
FOR ALL YOUR
MUSIC NEEDS!
Guitar & Piano Instructor
at Main Street Music
Lessons, has started an
apprenticeship under
Steve Grenier. He will
be learning the finer
points of violin, viola and
cello repair. As part of
his training, Justin will be
refurbishing Main Street
Music Lessons entire
orchestra rental program
in preparation for an
inventory liquidation sale.
It is the intention of Main
Street Music Lessons
that Justin will attend a
course at the University
of New Hampshire this
summer and bring a new
skill set to our community.
Welcome to the team
Justin!
25 Adams Ave. | Pepperell Mill Building, Lewiston | 207.782.7511
Phone
207-376-3376
Address
33 Dunn St, Auburn
Website
mainstreetmusiclessons.com
My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. I’m serious,
Jack and the beans talk!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 9

Out and About
at Otis FCU
LA’S #1 STOP FOR ALL
YOUR MUSIC NEEDS!
My doctor told me I’m going deaf. That was hard to hear.
Main Street Music Lessons
HUGE CLEARANCE SALE
ON ALL IN STOCK VIOLINS,
ORCHESTRAL INSTRUMENTS
& MORE!
Alysa Pinard
• LESSONS • REPAIRS • SALES • RENTALS
207-376-3376 | 33 Dunn Street, Auburn | www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com
Trent is
everyone's favorite
teller!
Bre Caron
& Emma Blaisdell
(Tellers)
Nightly Weekend
Entertainment!
Our Famous
Sunday Blues Jam 1-5pm
New - Open Mic Night
Thursdays at 6pm
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK!
61 Portland Rd, Gray, Maine • 207-657-7973
Muriel celebrated...
her 90th birthday with us
and can't wait for the next party!
TWO Pool Tables,
Pinball
& Golden Tee Golf
Hours: Mon-Fri: 3pm-Close | Sat: 1pm-1am or close | Sun: 1-5pm • TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
The Meadows
“Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”
Kimberly Couture
Uncle Andy’s Digest
10 April 2025
A warm home-style assisted living center for self-sufficient seniors!
We have availability starting at $1500 per month
#433 RT. 202, P.O. BOX 629, GREENE • 946-3007
When I was a kid my mom would ask if I wanted something to eat.
My choices were “yes” and “no.”

Whoever said, “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
SPRING SALE!
20% OFF ALL POOL, SPA, & CHEMICAL SUPPLIES
Out and About
at Otis FCU
Darcie Hunt
(Receptionist)
Route 196 | ABCPOOL.COM Give us a call today!
1975 Lisbon Street, Lewiston 207-783-0858
I feel like work got custody of me and home got visitation rights.
HOME INSPECTOR COURSE
Powered by Carson-Dunlop School of Home Inspection
in collaboration with the CMCC Workforce Office.
Central Maine Community College Workforce
and Professional Development Office is offering
a 420-hour 10 courses/42 hours per course.
Amber McKenna
Hmm. I guess
I am pretty
awesome!
The courses will cover the following topics
in-depth: Professional Practices, Roofing,
Structure, Heating I & II, Plumbing, Electrical,
Exterior, and Insulation & Interiors. Taking
applications for enrollment! Sign Up Today!
Contact us with questions: 207-755-5280
Enroll Today! cmccme.augusoft.net
Trent Keene
(Voted Favorite Teller)
I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what
comes out of my mouth.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 11

Out and About
at Thatchers
Why do scuba divers fall backward out of the boat?
If they fell forwards, they’d still be in the boat.
20 Mollison Way in Lewiston – Walk-in hours available Mondays & Wednesday 10am-3pm
How am I doing
grandpa Bert?
1-800-434-3000
info@sweetser.org
Madeline Cote
www.LewistonHealing.org
You’re a smooth
operator Madeline!
My wife left me, claiming baseball was the most important thing in my life. I was hurt.
We were together for 12 seasons.
Open Daily 11am-9pm
SOX
GAME DAY
SPECIALS
Bert Cote
(Owner)
Gail Cailler
& Madeline Cote
SOX APPS
CHICKEN TENDERS
CHICKEN WINGS
CHEESE STICKS
CRAB RANGOONS
CHEDDAR BITES
COCONUT SHRIMP
$
1.00 EACH
CHEDDAR CHEESE
PRETZEL BITES
$
5.99
16 SOX
OZ Seltzers
PINEAPPLE
PEACH
WATERMELON
MANGO
POMEGRANATE
PASSION FRUIT
TANGERINE
GRAPE
CHERRY LIME
BLUE RASPBERRY
BLUEBERRY
BLACKBERRY
GRAPEFRUIT
ORANGE
$
5.00
12 OZ
BOTTLESTLES
$ 2.99
$ 2.99
207.777.6353
gridironrestaurant.com
1567 Lisbon St. Lewiston
Uncle Andy’s Digest
12 April 2025
Tablets were replaced by scrolls. Scrolls were replaced by books.
Now we scroll through books on tablets.

I was walking the dogs and someone asked if they were Jack Russells.
I said, “No, they’re mine.”
The Chapman House
Providing a warm
& comfortable home
for our residents.
Home for senior ladies
The Chapman House –Home for senior ladies:
A cozy environment where residents
and relationships flourish
The Chapman House has private rooms available
for residents, aged 65 and older, who need
assistance with bathing, medications, and meals.
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961
Bonnie Iwans
Taxi
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A taxi passenger
tapped the driver on
the shoulder to ask
him a question.
The driver screamed,
lost control of the car,
nearly hit a bus, went
up on the footpath,
and stopped inches
from a shop window.
For a second,
everything was quiet
in the cab. Then the
driver said, “Don’t
ever do that again.
You scared the living
daylights out of me!”
The passenger
apologized and said,
“I didn’t realize that a
little tap would scare
you so much.”
The driver replied,
“Well, today is my
first day as a cab
driver - I’ve been
driving a funeral van
for the last 25 years.”
Car
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
My boss pulled up to
work with his sweet
new car and I complimented
him on it.
He replied, “Well, if
you work hard, set
goals, stay determined,
and put in
long hours, I can get
an even better one
next year.”
I don’t want to make anyone jealous, but the earrings I got in high school still fit.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 13

The Game
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A young boy enters a
barber shop and the
barber whispers to
his customer, “This
is the dumbest kid in
the world. Watch, I’ll
prove it to you.”
The barber puts
a dollar bill in one
hand and two quarters
in the other, then
calls the boy over
and asks, “Which do
you want, son?” The
boy takes the quarters
and leaves.
“What did I tell you?”
said the barber.
“That kid never
learns!”
Later, when the
customer leaves,
he sees the same
young boy coming
out of the ice cream
parlor.
“Hey, son! May I
ask you a question?
Why did you take the
quarters instead of
the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his
cone and replied:
“Because the day I
take the dollar, the
game is over!”
My spouse thinks I’m crazy, but I’m not the one who married me.
HappY TrailS FleA MarkeT
FOR SALE BY OWNER - TURN-KEY BUSINESS
• 24,000 sq. ft. well-maintained commercial building
with homestead situated on 3.2 acres of land
• $250k of owner’s inventory
FMI email:
• Great business & location $ 1.2
danshappytrails@yahoo.com
Visit us! Shop in well-arranged vendor mall with
friendly, helpful staff! 24k sq. ft, over 150 vendors!
With so many items there’s something for EVERYONE!
HOURS
Thurs-Sat 9am-5pm
Sun 1am-4pm
Route 26, 891 Main St, Oxford | Just North of the Oxford Plains Speedway | Check us out on
Call us TODAY!
We maintain your home so you
don’t have to.
NOW HIRING - TOP INDUSTRY PAY
Your Trusted
Excavation Contractor
Services
• Inspections
• Air Duct Cleaning
•Dryer Vet Cleaning
• Heat Pump Cleaning
• Routine Home Maintenance
207-619-0868
•SITE LABORERS
•EQUIPMENT
OPERATORS
•FOREMAN
Benefits include: Dental,
Vision, Health, Paid Holidays,
Paid time off, & Boot allowance
Call or Email
207.754.2343
shawn@hirdcontracting.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
14 April 2025
I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning
to exercise… And I was right.

Our kitchen is closed today due to illness. I’m sick of cooking.
Steak Wrap, Fries,
& Coleslaw
Take Out
Available!
DAILY SPECIALS
MONDAY - CLOSED
TUESDAY
Fried Pickle Basket
Thatcher’s Burger
25oz domestic drafts
WEDNESDAY
3 Beef Tacos
Thatcher’s Burrito
Well Margaritas • Coronas
THURSDAY
Stuffed Peppers
Buffalo Chicken Salad
Microbrews
FRIDAY
Clam Cake Basket
Fish & Chips
Out and About
at Thatchers
Al Leclerc
Philly Wrap
Steak with peppers, onions,
mushrooms, cheese, Cole slaw, & fries
207-782-2135 Auburn Mall
Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm
SATURDAY
2 Hot Dogs w/fries
Miller Lite Bottles
SUNDAY
12" Cheese Pizza
Bloody Mary’s
Domestic Light/Lite Drafts
Out & About
with Rucker!
I was job hunting and found a company that said, “We treat our employees like family.”
Well, I won’t be applying there.
THE AMERICAN LEGION
FAMILY
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays
and get a surprise!
“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
Members & Guests Welcome!
AMERICAN LEGION ACT
Veterans who were honorably discharged
but whose service did not fall into previously
defined war eras may now join
the American Legion immediately. The
eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,
until a time when the U.S. is no longer at
war, as determined by Congress.
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on
Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
For Veteran or Community services, call
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229
Hall Rentals Available
Call for more
information
207-782-1118
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118
HOURS: Monday - Wednesday: 12pm-8pm • Thursday 12pm-9pm
Friday: 12pm-11pm • Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm
MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS
AND YOUR CANTEEN HOST AMY!
FRIDAYS 7-11pm in April
Jerry Joe - April 4th & 18th • 4:30 - 6:30pm
BREAKFAST BUFFET - SUNDAY, APRIL 27 8AM-10AM
Scrambled eggs, sausage, gravy, baked beans, fried potatoes, crepes, toast,
english muffins, creton, juices, & coffee.
Adults $10 • Kids under 10 $5
INSTALLATION OF OFFICERS - SATURDAY APRIL 19TH
5-6pm Happy Hour • 6pm Ceremony
Pot Luck Dinner After Ceremony
APRIL 20TH
HAPPY
EASTER
SONS MEETING MONDAY APRIL 14TH AT 5:30PM
Paul Ray
(AKA Uncle Pauly)
Bill Brown
I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 15

Out and About
at Thatchers
I did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 96
and live comfortably for 15 minutes.
HOME, AUTO,
BUSINESS, & MORE
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Locally Owned & Operated
207-783-2246
888-983-2246
150 East Ave. Lewiston | 243 Mount Auburn Ave. Suite C, Auburn
Suzanne Brown
Wayne Richards
Yes, I'll have
another!
Sally Richards
Uncle Andy’s Digest
16 April 2025
We Can
Help You
Keep Cool
In The
Summer
& Warm
In The
Winter!
777-5600
Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston, & the surrounding communities!
24 Hour
Service
Schedule your preventative maintenance before it gets too hot!
235 N. River Road, Auburn | pro-techrefrigeration.com | theresa@pro-techrefrigeration.com
STELLO PLACE AMENITIES
153 EAST AVE, LEWISTON | 207-650-9119
$2,100 Per Month and 2,100 Deposit • No Pets • No Smoking
• Elevator
• Heated Garage with Electric Door Opener
• 55 Years and Older
• Air Conditioning
• Entry Video Intercom System
• Wash and Dryer
• Fridge, Store and Microwave
•Close Proximity To Grocery Stores,
Hospitals and Pharmacy
• Easily Accessible Shower with Seat and bars
• Right Height Toilet
• Indoor Mailbox and Newspaper
ONLY ONE UNIT AVAILABLE
• Secure Storage Closet in Garage
• Private Back Yard
• Dumpster
• 2 Bedroom, Heat and Hot Water Included
• 1,000 SQ Feet
Don’t tell secrets in the garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears,
and the beanstalk.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up.
That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Friday, April 11
Doors / cash bar 6 p.m.
Show 7 p.m.
Tickets $30 advance
$35 at the door day of show
Band members are experienced musicians of today’s
generation dedicated to preserving the memory and
fan culture of The Beatles generation. By recreating
the Fab Four’s music, appearance, instruments, and
onstage banter, Studio Two performs favorite Beatles
hits that will bring people to the dance floor.
Show sponsors: Ann’s Flower Shop; and Platz Associates
Saturday, April 12 Doors / cash bar 6 p.m.
Show 7 p.m.
Tickets $30 advance
$35 at the door day of show
Amanda Tubbs & Friends have been performing
tribute shows throughout New England. They
perform Taylor Swift’s biggest hits, with costumes to
match! Band members are seasoned professionals
who are proud to have joined the “Swifties” of the
music world. Are you ready for it?!
Walk Speed
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A fellow was walking
along a country road
when he noticed a
farmer working in his
field. The man called
out to the farmer,
“How long will it take
me to get to the next
town?”
The farmer didn’t
answer. The guy
waited a bit and then
started walking again.
After the man had
gone about a hundred
yards, the farmer
yelled out “About 20
minutes!”
“Thank you. But why
didn’t you tell me that
when I asked you?”
“Didn’t know how fast
you could walk”.
Satisfactory
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
An eight-year old boy
had never spoken a
word. One afternoon,
as he sat eating his
lunch he turned to his
mother and said, “The
soup is cold.”
Season Underwriter: Maple Way Dental Care;
Media Sponsors: Bennett Radio Group | Turner Publishing | Sun Journal | Uncle Andy’s Digest
46 Cedar St., Lewiston
207-689-2000
www.francocenter.org
I've decided I'm going to avoid everything that makes me fat:
Pictures, mirrors, scales…
His astonished mother
exclaimed, “Son,
I’ve waited so long to
hear you speak. But
all these years you
never said a thing.
Why haven’t you spoken
before?”
The boy looked at her
and replied, “Up until
now, everything has
been satisfactory.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 17

Climber
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A climber fell off
a cliff, and, as he
tumbled down, he
caught hold of a
small branch. “Help!
Is there anybody up
there?” he shouted.
A majestic voice
boomed through the
gorge:
“I will help you, but
first you must have
faith in me.”
“Yes, yes, I trust
you!”, cried the man.
“Let go of the
branch”, boomed the
voice.
There was a long
pause, and the man
shouted up again, “Is
there anybody else
up there?”
My life is like a newspaper. There’s a new issue every day.
We Need Your Help!
We are looking for volunteers
to assist us with our new
Striving to invigorate hope,
bringing dreams to life.
Providing Direct Support To Maine Adults With Intellectual Disabilities.
life skills program.
• Yoga Instructor
one day a month (couple of hours)
• Chef/Cook
To provide cooking classes & instruction
These services can be very rewarding
in doing good for others.
Be part of something where others
can give your life new meaning
happyhaven.info | 134 Main St. Suite 1 & 2, Lewiston | Phone- 207-241-0274 | Fax- 207-241-7280
I asked my hairstylist to make me look sexy…She started drinking.
Stranded
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A cruise ship passes
by a remote island,
and all the passengers
see a bearded
man running around
and waving his arms
wildly.
1 Year Subscription for
$49 or $79 for both!
“Captain,” one passenger
asks, “who
is that man over
there?”
“I have no idea,” the
captain says, “but he
goes nuts every time
we pass him.”
delivered at your door.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
18 April 2025
I ran out of food and had to steal from my neighbor’s herb garden.
I’m living on borrowed thyme.

My favorite wine pairs well with seafood, pasta, and visits from the in-laws.
First Waxing
50% OFF
BECAUSE SASQUATCH
ISN’T A SPRING VIBE
Book now
WAXING NOT YOUR THING?
BUNDLE 60-MIN MASSAGE AND SAUNA FOR $90!
11 MECHANIC FALLS ROAD | OXFORD
DINE IN ONLY
Painter
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A businessman went
into the office and
found an inexperienced
handyman
painting the walls.
The handyman was
wearing two heavy
parkas on a hot summer
day.
Thinking this was
a little strange, the
businessman asked
the handyman why
he was wearing the
parkas on such a hot
day.
The handyman
showed him the instructions
on the can
of paint. They read:
“For best results, put
on two coats.”
BUD LIGHT DRAFT
4PM - CLOSE
HOUSE WINE
Sea40 Japanese Cuisine
40 East Ave, Lewiston ME 04240
795-6888 | www.sea40me.com
GIFT
CARDS
AVAILABLE
COMING SOON!
Hanging Plants
Bulk deliveries
available, call ahead
• Mulch
• 50/50 Compost/Loam
• Compost
• Loam
GREENHOUSE & GARDEN CENTER
OPEN EVERY DAY 9 - 4
896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal • 207-688-4462
www.GardenSpotFarm.com
Pansies are in bloom
10 greenhouses full of annual, perennial,
vegetable and herb plants!
Full Line of
Bagged Mulch • Soils
Fertilizers • Pro-Mix
Garden Tools • Potting Soil
Tree & Shrubs (May)
Asparagus &
Strawberry Roots
Seed Potato • Seeds
FOR ALL YOUR FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN NEEDS
Time to get the
SEEDS started!
Opening
April 7th!
Open House Weekend
May 10 & 11
Door prizes give aways,
refreshments, & goodies!
Mother’s Day May 11!
Beans
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
A teacher asked her
students to use the
word "beans" in a
sentence. "My father
grows beans," said
one girl. "My mother
cooks beans," said a
boy. A third student
spoke up, "We are
all human beans."
What he says: "I've looked everywhere and I can’t find it.” What he means: I looked in
one spot and gave up because I’m lost without you.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 19

Happy Birthday to my husband, sister in law
and brother in law. Love you all!
(April 14th, 15th and 23rd)
Happy 8th
Birthday, Vinny!
Daddy loves you!
Happy birthday
to our sweet
Jazmine!
13 years old
on April 1st!
Amanda, we hope
you have the most
amazing birthday
this month!
Come to Burnt Ends
BBQ and tell Kevin to
have a Happy Birthday!
Congrats to the Maine
Nordiques for setting
an attendance record
on Friday March 21st
at The Colisée!
Happy April Birthday
to Brian Dubois of
DuBois Realty Group.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
20 April 2025

Submit your shout out
today to be published
in the next issue!
* Must be submitted by 4/18 for MAY.*
Congratulations Makayla
on your new job!
We are proud of you!
-Alex, Pam, & Kevin
SAVE THE DATE!
AUGUST 9TH
Inaugural
Give it up for the
LVCP Duck Derby
happening on April
26th. Cash prize
for top 5 fastest
ducks.
WISHES
IN THE VALLEY
Congratulations UMaine
Black Bears in clinching
the men’s Ice Hockey
East championship!
AT LOST VALLEY
to benefit
Shout out to Kim McManus
- Maine Realtor, The Maine
Real Estate Experience
2024 Agent of the year!
- Matt & Jason
WANTED
SPONSORS • VOLUNTEERS • DONATIONS
Live Music Food Trucks Cornhole Live Auction
Bucket Golf Challenge Disc Golf Challenge
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 21
FMI Email: WITV@gmail.com

Camping
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
I told my boyfriend I was ready to meet his family.
He introduced me to his two kids and his wife.
Two campers are
walking through the
woods when a huge
brown bear suddenly
appears in the clearing
about 50 feet in
front of them.
The bear sees the
campers and begins
to head toward them.
The first guy drops
his backpack, digs
out a pair of sneakers,
and frantically
begins to put them
on.
The second guy
says, “What are you
doing? Sneakers
won’t help you outrun
that bear.”
“I don’t need to
outrun the bear”, the
first guy says. “I just
need to outrun you.”
Try our
Cadbury
Martini!
Book Your
Why cook
Reservations
this easter
Today!
when you
can hop on
over to the
village for
dinner!
The Village Inn
207-782-7796 | 165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com | Open Wednesday - Sunday
For any disaster, Call ServiceMaster!
ServiceMaster is LA experts for carpet cleaning,
stripping, waxing & cleaning for tile & grout!
(800) 244-7630
(207) 539-4452
29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn
ServiceMaster - The clean up experts after floods, fire, or mold.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
22 April 2025
Every woman dreams of a man who will take her in his arms, lead her to the bed, and
clean the house while she sleeps.

Residential Friendly Dumpsters
Bin Sizes:
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
Rent a
dumpster
for Spring
cleanup!
10 yd. bin - 10’ long x 7’ wide - 4’ high
14 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8’ wide - 4.5’ high
20 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8’ wide - 6’ high
Dispatch
Office: 207-224-0337
Cell: 207-212-0736
170 N. Daggett Hill Rd.
Greene, ME 04236
portlandme@bintheredumpthat.com
Our Residential Friendly Design Includes
Easy Load Double Rear Doors
Driveway Protection Boards
Dependable Friendly Service
207-224-0337
www.bintheredumpthatusa.com
EXPERIENCE THE OTIS ADVANTAGE.
Learn more at www.otisfcu.coop!
Federally Insured by NCUA. Equal Housing Lender.
We have everything you need for
yard clean-up & maintenance!
APRIL
BIRTHDAYS
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
1- Bijou Phillips
(45)
2 - Michael Fassbender
(48)
3 - Eddie Murphy (64)
4 - Robert Downey Jr.
(60)
5 - Pharrell Williams (52)
6 - Paul Rudd (56)
7 - Russell Crowe (61)
8 - Patricia Arquette (57)
9 - Kristen Stewart (35)
10 - Steven Seagal (73)
11 - Jennifer Esposito
(52)
12 - Ed O’Neill (79)
13 - Ron Perlman (75)
14 - Anthony Michael
Hall (57)
15 - Seth Rogen (43)
16 - Martin Lawrence
(60)
17 - Jennifer Garner (53)
18 - Conan O’Brien (62)
19 - Ashley Judd (57)
20 - Jessica Lange (76)
21 - Tony Danza (74)
22 - Jack Nicholson (88)
23 - John Cena (48)
24 - Barbara Streisand
(83)
25 - Al Pacino (85)
26 - Channing Tatum
(45)
27 - Lizzo (37)
28 - Jessica Alba (44)
29 - Jerry Seinfeld (71)
30 - Kirsten Dunst (43)
Get it done right with our rentals!
186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus, ME • (207) 375-6253
2 Miles Off I-95 Exit 86 Family Owned & Operated
Eddie
Murphy
How do you politely tell someone you don’t like them?
Try saying, “You’re the Monday of my life."
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 23

Last week I spotted an albino Dalmatian… it was the least I could do.
OPENING APRIL 12 TH
Lincoln Street
RADIATOR SHOP
Family owned & operated since 1967
We have the knowledge
& experience to
diagnose problems
CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER
Jayco- High Quality Design & Award Winning RV’s.
Stop in today and check out the new 2025 models!
Huge
Check Our Large Selection
Discounts
Of New & Pre-owned Units!
Fresh Frozen
Craft Custard
Premium Soft Serve
CHECK OUT OUR
WEBSITE FOR
WEEKLY FLAVORS!
THELOGYARDDAIRYBAR.COM | 1184 Maine St, Poland, ME
We provide
our clients with
the most efficient
& dependable
services available
207-784-9356
1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston Monday-Friday: 8a-5p
New
Arrivals
Daily!
848 Main Street, Oxford • 207-539-4410 • www.callofthewildrv.com
New You, New Beginning!
Please Call To Schedule An Appointment
Free Substance Abuse
1st Evaluation Session
*(Excluding DEEP Services)*
New IOP Open!
207.241.7959 | 87 Essex St. Lewiston, Maine 04240
THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE
does more than just help you relax
• Reduces Pain
• Improves Sleep
• Enhances Athletic Performance
• Improves Range of Motion
• Improves Digestion
• Reduces Depression, Anxiety, Stress
207.240.6415 | www.memassagetherapy.com
Poisson & Sons Auto Care
260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144
FULL SERVICE GAS STATION
SPRING CAR CARE TIPS
Oil change, battery check,
tire pressure, check fluids,
wiper blades, & check your brakes.
APRIL
Stickers
Are Due!
COMING FUN in SOON
DINING ON the THE SUN DECK
There’s no better place in
LA to experience Summer
than Pat’s Deck!
Roy’s
FoodLand
Best Chicken
& Ham Salad
In Town!
Surrounded by nature’s beauty.
Meals served by the BEST!
85 Center Street
207-784-8221
Open 11-9p Daily
85 Center Street, Auburn | 207-784-8221 | 11a-9p daily
SATURDAY
Beans, bread/
rolls & cole slaw
$11.99
WEDNESDAY
Ham, Veggie,
Salami, or
Pepperoni Italians
$3.49
70 Broad Street, Auburn
207-783-8471
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm
Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed
Uncle Andy’s Digest
24 April 2025
I just planned my dream Hawaiian vacation. Now, I just need some money.

People were lined up for blocks for the big Lego sale?
One Call
Submitted by Pam Ashby
Two teenagers were
arrested. The police
sergeant told them
they were entitled to a
phone call. Some time
later a man entered
the station and asked
for them by name.
The sergeant said, “I
suppose you’re the
lawyer?”
“Nope,” the guy replied.
“I’m just here to
deliver their pizza.”
Because
They Can
Submitted by Thomas Hill
My kids created a PowerPoint presentation explaining why we should go to the water
park…it has several slides.
WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER
NEW MEMBERS!
A foursome of senior
golfers hit the course
with waning enthusiasm
for the sport.
“These hills are getting
steeper as the years
go by,” one complained.
“These fairways seem
to be getting longer
too,” said one of the
others.
SPS Property Inspections
SPSPropertyInspections.com
Little Ridge Farm
littleridgefarm.com
“The sand traps seem
to be bigger than I
remember them too,”
said the third senior.
Exceller Support Solutions, LLC
excellerllc.com
Custom Window Decorators, Inc.
customwindowdecorators.com
The Salvation Army Northern New England
salvationarmy-usaeast.org
415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM
After hearing enough
from his Senior buddies,
the oldest, and
the wisest of the four
of them at 87 years
old, piped up and
said...
“Quit your dang
complaining and just
be thankful we’re still
on the top side of the
grass!”
When I was a kid, bedtime was 9 pm. l couldn't wait to grow up so I could go to bed
anytime I wanted. Turns out it’s 9 pm.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 25

CALL THE PROS
Accounting
& Tax
Service You
Can Trust!
MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.
Certified Public Accountant
Tax Planning & Preparation
for Individuals and Business
P.O. Box 895 | 207.782.1040
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B | Auburn, ME 04212
Add 4 Months to Your
Watersports Season
with a Wetsuit!
We can help you stay warmer longer!
• Swimming • Snorkeling • Scuba • Water-ski
805 Main Street, Lewiston 784-7300
Your trusted,
nonprofit resource
for assistance
and information
Medicare counseling • Caregiver support
Educational programming • Meals on Wheels
seniorsplus.org • 207-795-4010
Full Color
Quality
printing
• Posters
• Booklets
• Carbonless forms
• Envelopes
EVERGREEN
CUSTOM PRINTING, INC.
• Business Cards & More!
782-0525
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn | Info@evergreencustomprinting.com
MOBILE CPR & BLS TRAINING
FOR ALL OF MAINE
For both healthcare professionals
and lay people. We come to your
location for your convenience!
Offering Certification
and Re-certification
CALL TODAY
19 Roy Street Lewiston | 207-330-0322
RON’S
TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE
YOUR FULL SERVICE
REPAIR FACILITY
It’s Spring!
Does your vehicle need service?
Tires & State Inspections Available!
515 Gardiner Rd, Wales
375-4924
We specialize in domestic
car & truck, automatic
& manual transmissions,
transfer cases & differentials.
Ron Charpentier, Jr.,
Owner
Tim
Rucker
Mr. Out & About
207.576.8049
Tim@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services
Serving Lewiston & Auburn Since 2018
Mike Magretto
Veteran Owned & Operated
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
207-530-8890
Proud Publisher of
TWO local magazines!
2 Great Falls Plaza Suite 1B, Auburn
207.576.8049 | LAMetroMagazine.com | UncleAndys.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
26 April 2025
I was watching a show called "Ten Ways to Avoid a Shark Attack."
Surprisingly, "Stay Out of the Water" didn't make the list.

CALL THE PROS
The Moms
in your life
deserve a Massage!
It’s not too early to
get your gift card!
• Birthday • Anniversary
• Just Because
918 Sabattus St. Lewiston
(207) 402-8654
Tuesday-Friday 2-8pm • Saturday 1-5pm | www.lamassagemaine.com
Clinic now open!
Ask your primary care or
specialty provider for a referral
to Andwell Audiology, today!
72 Strawberry Avenue, Lewiston
Large variety of firearms & supplies on hand!
Springfield XD-M Elite OSP 10mm
4.50” Black Melonite Steel Barrel, 16 Rounds
✷
New
& Used
Available!
✷
Fine Line Gun Shop
590 Plains Rd, Poland • (207) 998-2374
Steve
Simard
Marketing Specialist
207.754.1815
steve@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Proud Publisher of
TWO local magazines!
2 Great Falls Plaza Suite 1B, Auburn
207.783.7039 | LAMetroMagazine.com | UncleAndys.com
LYDIA
LYDIA’S
LA’s Afternoon
Morning Show
PODCAST
Stop in to register for our annual
Easter basket give away
Coach Terry’s
REDEMPTION
CENTER
The friendly redemption center
Check out our podcast and
hear what's happening
around here!
Listen at LydiaMediaLLC.com or anywhere
you find your favorite podcast!
Want to be a part of our podcast!? Call or email FMI!
FMI contact Pam Ashby 207.783.7039 or podcast@LydiaMediaLLC.com
225-2008 | Tidswell Road, Turner | Open daily 8am-4pm
My wife complains I don't buy her flowers. To be honest, I didn't know she sold flowers.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 27

My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet. It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe leannnnnn...
HEALTH & FITNESS
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Coverage for 400+ procedures. Real dental insurance
- not just a discount plan. Get your free Information
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ads #6258
Donate Your Car to Veterans Today! Help and Support our
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HOME SERVICES
Aging Roof? New Homeowner? Got Storm Damage? You
need a local expert provider that proudly stands behind
their work. Fast, free estimate. Financing available. Call
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value! Call 24/7: 1-888-872-2809. Have zip code!
Professional lawn service: Fertilization, weed control, seeding,
aeration & mosquito control. Call now for a free quote.
Ask about our first application special! 1-833-606-6777
Prepare for power outages today with a Generac Home
Standby Generator. Act now to re-ceive a free 5-Year
warranty with qualifying purchase* Call 1-855-948-6176
today to schedule a free quote. It’s not just a generator. It’s
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MISCELLANEOUS
!!OLD GUITARS WANTED!! GIBSON, FENDER, MARTIN,
Etc. 1930’s to 1980’s. TOP DOLLAR PAID. CALL TOLL
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Don't let the stairs limit your mobility! Discover the ideal
solution for anyone who struggles on the stairs, is concerned
about a fall or wants to regain access to their entire
home. Call Ameri-Glide today! 1-833-399-3595
Donate Your Car to Veterans Today! Help and Support our
Veterans. Fast - FREE pick up. 100% tax deductible. Call
1-800-245-0398
Become a published author. We want to read your book!
Dorrance Publishing trusted since 1920. Consultation,
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reviews. 833-308-1971
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substantial cash award. No obligation! We’ve recovered
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Replace your roof w/the best looking & longest lasting material
steel from Erie Metal Roofs! 3 styles & multiple colors
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Jacuzzi Bath Remodel can install a new, custom bath or
shower in as little as one day. For a limited time, waving
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
28 April 2025
The doctor said I need to eat more greens, so I'm switching to mint
chocolate chip ice cream.

Ticks, Mosquitoes, Rodents,
Insects, Bedbugs,
Fleas, & Roaches!
207-782-7141
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IF MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS...
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Top Agent of
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BUSINESS
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Owner & Founder
207-890-4848
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Richard Moylan
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Insurance and coverages subject to terms.
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and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire
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Keep your shoes clean
& your yard GREEN.
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So You Don’t Have To!
SPRING CLEAN-UPS
Weekly/Bi-weekly
Maintenance
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us on Facebook
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dogwatchofcentralmaine.com
Frugal Mainer
Submitted by Thomas Hill
Marissa purchased a
new refrigerator. The
store she bought
it from wanted $40
to remove her old
fridge in an environmentally
friendly
fashion. So in order
to save money she
put it in his front garden
with a sign that
read, “Free to a good
home. You want it,
please take it.”
The fridge stood untouched
for 4 days.
Marissa changed her
tactics. She made
a new sign saying,
“Fridge for sale -
$75.”
One day later the
fridge disappeared:
stolen.
Riding Bessy
Submitted by Pam Ashby
A salesman was
trying to talk a farmer
into buying a bicycle,
but was met with
considerable sales
resistance.
“Shucks, I’d sooner
spend my money
on a cow,” said the
farmer.
“Ah,” replied the
salesman, “but think
how silly you’d look
riding around on a
cow.”
“Humph!” retorted
the farmer. “Not
near as silly as I’d
look trying to milk a
bicycle!”
I love airports because the rules of society don't apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of
wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 29

Did you
know?
Submitted by
Mark Turcotte
April is named for
the Greek goddess
of love, Aphrodite.
The Word April
Comes From the
Latin “Aperire,”
Meaning “To Open”
Small animals that
hibernate are usually
coming out of their
burrows in April.
The birds fly back
northward and settle
down to have their
families. The bees
and butterflies begin
to gather nectar from
the first flowers of
the season.
April is Humor
Month, so laugh it
up!
The birthstone for
April is the diamond.
The zodiac signs are
Aries (March 21 –
April 19) and Taurus
(April 20-May 20).
The birth flowers for
the month of April
are the sweet pea
and the daisy.
The Titanic sank on
April 15, 1912.
The Revolutionary
War in America
began on April 19,
1775.
Our first President
George Washington
was inaugurated on
April 30, 1789.
My landlord wants to talk about my high heating bill. I told him my door is always open.
40
TH
YEAR
Anniversary
Specials
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Coverage for
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Join us all day for great specials on all
fire arms, ammo, & accessories plus a
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Tom O from WTOS will be
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*Factory Reps On Site!*
Out & About at the Auburn Exchange Club
Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts
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For your business.
For your people.
For your life.
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Congratulations
to our A.C.E.
Award recipient,
Izzahbella
Caron-Foss.
Tim Rucker-(Club President) , Izzahbell Caron-Foss, Alexi Caron (Mom ) & Debra Caron (Grandmom)
The 129th Boston
Continued On Next page
Copyright ©2024 NFP. All Rights Reserved.
681 Sabattus St., Lewiston, ME 04240
Uncle Andy’s Digest
30 April 2025
I’m taking steps to overcome my hiking addiction. I’m not out of the woods yet.

Fruit farmers eat what they can and can what they can’t.
Continued From Previous Page
Marathon, the
world’s oldest annual
marathon, will
take place on April
21.
Noah Webster
copyrighted the first
edition of his Dictionary
in April 1828.
gippers.com 120 center st. auburn 207.786.0715
History
Submitted by Pam Ashby
“Would you mind
telling me, Doctor,”
Rick asked, “how
you detect a mental
deficiency in somebody
who appears
completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,”
he replied. “You ask
him a simple question
which everyone
should answer with
no trouble. If he hesitates,
that puts you
on the track.”
“What sort of
question?” asked
Rick.
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“Well, you might ask
him, “Captain Cook
made three voyages
around the world and
died during one of
them. Which one?”
Rick thought for a
moment, and then
said with a nervous
laugh, “You wouldn’t
happen to have another
example would
you? I must confess,
I don’t know much
about history.”
I bought a fake koi fish. It’s a de-koi.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 31

| EVENTS |
APRIL
Throughout April
Nature Photography
by Tim Amero
She Doesn’t Like Guthries
115 Middle St. Lewiston
GuthriesPlace.com
April 3, 10, 17, 24
Trivia with Nate
Craft Brew Underground
34 Court St. Auburn
7pm
Facebook.com/CBUAuburn
Out & About at the American
Legion Post 153
What do you mean
I don't look like I know
what I'm doing?!
Chris Poisson
Poisson & Sons Auto Care
April 4, 5
Maine Nordiques
vs. NH Mountain Kings
The Colisee
190 Birch St. Lewiston
MaineNordiques.com
Justin Thompson
Call Of The Wild
Dan Letourneau
ABC Pool
Uncle Andy’s Digest
32 April 2025
April 5, 12, 19
Genealogy Hour
Androscoggin Historical Society
93 Lisbon St. Lewiston
11am
AndroHistory.org
April 5
Live Music -
Cryin’ Out Loud
The Cage
99 Ash St. Lewiston
7pm-11pm
April 5, 6
Vacationland RV
& Camping Show
Norway Savings Bank Arena
985 Turner St. Auburn
CampMaine.com
April 6, 13, 20, 27
Public Skating
The Colisee
190 Birch St. Lewiston
11am-12:30pm
TheColisee.com
Tim Rucker (AKA - Mr. Out & About)
April 7, 14, 21, 28
Open Mike (Music)
Fast Breaks
1465 Lisbon St. Lewiston
7pm
Facebook.com/FastBreaksInc
April 8
CMCC Baseball
vs. Southern Maine CC
Central Maine Community
College
1250 Turner St. Auburn
3:30pm
CMMustangs.com
CMCC Softball
vs. Southern Maine CC
Central Maine Community
College
1250 Turner St. Auburn
3:30pm & 5:30pm
CMMustangs.com
April 9
Safe Voices Drop-In
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
4pm
SafeVoices.org
April 9, 16, 23, 30
APL Chess Club
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
4:00-5:30pm
AuburnPublicLibrary.org
April 9
Paint Night
Marco’s Restaurant
12 Mollison Way, Lewiston
6pm
MarcosRestaurantMaine.com

| EVENTS |
Calendar
Sponsored By:
2025
Lydia's
Lunch Bunch
April 9, 16, 23, 30
Open Mic (Comedy)
Great Falls Comedy Club
34 Court St. Auburn
8pm
GreatFallsComedyClub.com
April 11
Studio Two
(Beatles Tribute)
Franco Center
46 Cedar St. Lewiston
7pm
FrancoCenter.org
Comic Hypnotist
Frank Santos Jr.
Kora Temple
11 Sabattus St. Lewiston
8pm
KoraShriners.org
April 12-13
Spring into the Weird Fair
Lewiston Armory
65 Central Ave. Lewiston
NerdcoreMaine.com
April 12
Tiger Run 5K
McMahon Elementary School
151 North Temple St. Lewiston
8am
BikeSignUp.com
Shop Into Spring
Benefitting GAHS
Auburn Mall
550 Center St. Auburn
10am-3pm
GAhumane.org
Easter Egg Hunt
South Lewiston Baptist Church
1919 Lisbon Rd. Lewiston
11am
Bates Baseball vs. Colby
Leahey Field
137 Central Ave. Lewiston
Noon and 2:30pm
GoBatesBobcats.com
April 12
Taylor: An Eras
Experience
Franco Center
46 Cedar St. Lewiston
7pm
FrancoCenter.org
Comedian Juston
McKinney
Kora Temple
11 Sabattus St. Lewiston
7pm
KoraShriners.org
April 13
Youth Hunter
Safety Course
Kora Temple
11 Sabattus St. Lewiston
8am - 4pm
KoraShriners.org
April 15
Build Your Budget
(ages 12-18)
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
3pm
CommunityCreditUnion.com
April 17
Quiet Reader’s Group
Nerdcore
550 Center St. Auburn
5:30-7pm
NerdcoreMaine.com
DIY Bathbombs
Woman’s Literary Union
19 Elm St. Auburn
6pm
WomansLiteraryUnion.org
April 19
Pet Wellness Clinic
Greater Androscoggin Humane
Society
55 Strawberry Ave. Lewiston
9am-11am
GAhumane.org
April 20
420 Pottery Paint Night
Moon Stone Pottery
186 Turner St. Auburn
4:20pm
Facebook.com/MoonStonePotteryme
April 25
Middle Eastern Dancing
Maine MILL
35 Canal St. Lewiston
5pm
MaineMill.org
April 26
Community Recycle Day
Community Credit Union
40 Stanley St. Auburn
9am - Noon
CommunityCreditUnion.com
Lewiston Spring
Artisan Craft Fair
Lewiston Armory
65 Central Ave. Lewiston
10am - 3pm
LewistonRecreation.com
LVCP Duck Derby
Lost Valley
200 Lost Valley Rd. Auburn
11am-4pm
My-site-105371.square.site
Bates Softball vs. Bowdoin
Lafayette Street Field
151 Russell St. Lewiston
1pm and 3pm
GoBatesBobcats.com
Live Music - Drunk in
Public
Fast Breaks
1465 Lisbon St. Lewiston
8pm
Facebook.com/FastBreaksInc
April 27
Dash for Dogs 5K
Greater Androscoggin Humane
Society
55 Strawberry Ave. Lewiston
8am
GAhumane.org
Send us your events for May by April 18. Call 207.783.7039 or email billing@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Covering News
and Events In The
Greater LA Area.
Talking to the people
making a difference.
From the Lydia Media
studios in the heart of
Lewiston-Auburn, Maine,
it’s Lydia’s Lunch Bunch –
L-A’s Afternoon Morning
Show with Mark, Sara,
and Pam!
We’re covering news and
events in the greater L-A
area and talking to the
people making a difference
in our community.
Subscribe and Listen!
Give us a listen wherever you
get your podcasts and feel
free to share your comments,
questions, or suggestions at
podcast@lydiamediallc.com
207-783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 33

Directory of Advertisers
AUTOMOTIVE
Armand’s Auto Body............................C
armandsautobody.com
Lincoln Street Radiator.................... 24
lincolnstreetradiator.com
Poisson & Sons Auto Care................ 24
207.782.9144
Ron’s Transmission............................ 26
207.375.492
BANKING SERVICES
Community Credit Union....................C
communitycreditunion.com
Dirigo Federal Credit Union............ 27
dirigofcu.com
Otis Federal Credit Union................ 23
207.879.0900
CLEANING PROFESSIONALS
Bin There Dump That.......................23
207.2240337
Collaborative Cleaners......................29
207.713.1550
Emerald Janitorial..............................26
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
Scoop 4Paws........................................29
207.713.1550
ServiceMaster Restore......................22
smfireandwater.com
Simply Clean ME LLC.......................22
207.370.7244
CONSTRUCTION & EXCAVATION
Hird Contracting................................ 14
207.754.2343
DENTISTS & DENTURES
Smile Again Dentures.......................... 4
SmileAgainDentures.com
EDUCATION/BUSINESS SERVICES
Barclay's Skindivers Paradise........... 26
207.784.7300
Central Maine Community College......11
207.755.5280
LA Metro Chamber of Commerce.... 25
lametrochamber.com
Main Street Music Lessons................ 10
207.376.3376
ELECTRICAL
DeBlois Electric, Inc............................ 8
debloiselectric.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
34 April 2025
ENTERTAINMENT
Franco Center......................................17
francocenter.org
Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine.................... 19
sea40me.com
Tailgate Bar & Grill........................... 10
TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
William J. Rogers Post #153...........27
207.782.1118
FINANCIAL SERVICES
Michael G. Spaulding........................ 26
207.782.1040
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 31
modern-woodmen.org
FOOD & BEVERAGE
Blackie’s..................................................C
blackiesfarm.com
Dad's Place............................................ 5
dadsplacemaine.com
Firehouse Grill................................... BC
firehouseauburn.com
George’s Pizza.....................................29
georgespizza.com
Gipper’s................................................31
gippers.com
GridIron Restaurant.......................... 12
gridironrestaurant.com
Log Yard...............................................24
TheLogYardDairyBar.com
Mac’s Grill............................................. 2
MacsGrill.com
Pat’s Pizza Auburn.............................. 24
patsauburn.com
Roopers Beverage & Redemption...35
roopersbeverage.com
Roy’s Foodland....................................24
ShopAtRoysFoodland.com
Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine.................... 19
sea40me.com
Tailgate Bar & Grill........................... 10
TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
Thatcher’s............................................15
207-782-2135
The Village Inn-Auburn.................... 22
villageinnmaine.com
FURNITURE
Happy Trails........................................14
danshappytrails@yahoo.com
Morin’s Refinishing & Restoration..... 9
207.782.7511
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Andwell Health Partners................... 27
andwell.org
Carpe Diem..........................................24
207-241-7959
Essence Wellness Spa LLC............... 19
essencewellnessspa.com
Happy Haven....................................... 18
happyhaven.info
LA Massage.........................................27
LAMassageMaine.com
ME Massage Therapy........................ 24
memassagetherapy.com
Maine Mobile CPR............................ 26
207-330-0322
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 31
modern-woodmen.org
Sweetser...............................................12
1.800.343.3000
HEATING & PLUMBING
Heat Pumps of Maine.........................C
heatpumpsofmaine.com
Pro-Tech Refrigeration..................... 16
pro-techrefrigeration.com
United Piping Heating & Plumbing...... 8
207.754.4556
Strong Propane..................................... 7
207.810.3433
HOME IMPROVEMENT
ABC Pool..............................................11
207-783-0858
Dog Watch...........................................29
207.5764239
Garden Spot Farm...............................19
207.688.4462
Morin’s Refinishing & Restoration......9
207.782.7511
Upfront Home Inspections............... 14
207.619.0868
Got Bugs Pest Services LLC............29
207-242-4988
SPS Property Inspection................... 29
207.890.4848
Sturdy Hardware.................................23
207.375-6253
INSURANCE
Andy Valley Insurance & Retirement...29
agents.horacemann.com/AVIR
Champoux Insurance......................... 16
888.983.2246

Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
Lisa Laliberte-State Farm................... 6
207.783.3332
John Blanchette NFP Insurance...... 30
207.784.9358
Richard Moylan-Allstate................... 29
207.777.0050
MISCELLANEOUS
Dog Watch...........................................29
207.5764239
Happy Trails........................................14
danshappytrails@yahoo.com
Happy Haven.......................................18
happyhaven.info
LA Chamber of Commerce..............25
William J. Rogers Post #153...........15
207.782.1118
PRINT & PROMOTIONAL
Coastal T-Shirts....................................6
coastaltshirts.com
Evergreen Custom Printing.............26
207.782.0525
SPS Home Inspection........................ 29
207.890.4848
WIGY Radio.......................................25
wigyradio.com
REAL ESTATE
Debbie Bodwell-Guild Mortgage..... BC
207.754.3962
Maine Real Estate Experience........ 29
themainerealstateexperience.com
Maine Source Realty............................7
mainesourcehomes.com
Pinepoint Realty................................BC
207.376.2683
Stello Place Amenities......................16
207-650-9119
RECREATION
ABC Pool..............................................11
207.783.0858
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise........... 26
207.784.7300
Call of the Wild RV Center............. 24
callofthewildrv.com
Main Street Music Lessons................ 10
207.376.3376
REDEMPTION CENTERS
Coach Terry’s Redemption Center....27
207.225.2008
Roopers Beverage & Redemption.....35
roopersbeverage.com
Dad's Place............................................5
dadsplacemaine.com
RETIREMENT
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 31
modern-woodmen.org
The Chapman House
Assisted Living ..................................13
207.783.0961
Seniors Plus Retirement...................26
207.795.4010
Stello Place Amenities......................16
207-650-9119
The Meadows Senior Living............10
207.946.3007
SPORTING GOODS
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise...............26
207.784.7300
Fine Line Gun Shop........................... 27
207.998.2374
J.T. Reid’s Gun Shop.......................... 30
207.777.3579
Follow Us
On Facebook
& Instagram!
C - front cover | IFC - inside front cover | BC - back cover | IBC - inside back cover
RoopersBeverage.com
Sip, sip, hooray!
Spring is here to
stay! Refresh your
season with the best
beer, wine, and spirits
in town!
The Party Starts at Roopers!
794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353
545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047
686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200
980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072
1420 Lisbon St., Lewiston | 333.3095
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 35

$8
$8
ApriL April Special
Pineapple Mango
Rum Punch
207-376-4959 • 47 Broad Street, Auburn • www.firehouseauburn.com • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p
Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com
36 April 2025