DOGS WITH FREQUENT FLYER STATUS

DEEPER
LUXURY
ÜBERLUXURYTRAVEL
PETS WITH FREQUENT FLYER STATUS

THE SEQUEL to Stop Private
Jets & Yachts and Opulence
Overheated
Treat yourself! The climate is collapsing, but the superrich
fly their dogs in by private jet.
Poached Eggs, Private Jets & a Planet
on Fire:
A Breakfast Story”
"A satirical check-in to the über-luxury hospitality industry's role
in climate collapse—room with a view, conscience optional."
Words by Frank M. Pfaller

Where the
CHAMPAGNE is
chilled, the beds are
turned down, and the
planet quietly
combusts in the
background.

Type to enter text

TAILS OF EXCESS: WHEN EVEN THE DOGS
FLY PRIVATE (WHILE THE PLANET BURNS)
There I was again—sitting in a teeth-grinding traffic jam on the Highway, inching
along toward a vaguely restorative long weekend, and fantasizing (as one does)
about simply pulling over, snapping my fingers, and ascending skyward via private
jet. Overhead, I imagined myself soaring past the fossil-fueled mortals below, flute
of chilled Dom Ruinard rosé in hand, possibly accompanied by a cuddly pooch
named Baroness being flown in from elsewhere. You know, standard billionaire
pet protocol…
Apparently, I’m not the only one dreaming—though for some, it’s less fantasy,
more Tuesday. At a recent travel industry shindig, a luxury travel exec recounted
with only mild bemusement how a client wanted to fly his dog, yes his dog, from
Northern Europe to the Balearics via private jet. No snout left behind, I suppose.
But let’s not judge too hastily. After all, luxury tourism is booming! While the
planet does its best impression of a rotisserie chicken, bookings for 50-course
dinners and barefoot-butlered beach villas are through the retractable roof. Gone
are the days when climate doom and luxury excess were mutually exclusive. Now,
they co-exist in a kind of post-ironic pas de deux. As one sector collapses, another
clinks champagne glasses in a carbon-pressurized suite.
Naturally, luxury travel leaders say they’re just responding to “customer demand.”
And who are these customers? Oh, just your typical C-suite exec with a villa
portfolio and a vitamin IV drip habit. People who have everything—except time.
Luckily, the travel industry offers curated control in a chaotic world. Can’t fix
geopolitics or melting glaciers? No worries, there’s a longevity retreat where your
chakras will be massaged by someone named Ashanti while Mozart plays for the
chickens.
Yes, that’s real. A five-star resort now offers guests the chance to “poach” freshly
laid eggs from a coop serenaded by classical music, then hand them off to a chef
who makes your omelet just-so—tailored to your exact preference, naturally.
Because nothing says sustainable luxury like hand-picked eggs and a carbon
footprint the size of a small country.
To be fair, the luxury segment has long served as a testing ground for innovation.
What begins in high-end resorts—like wellness retreats, biophilic design, or plant-

based tasting menus—often paves the way for
broader trends in hospitality. Today, even
frequent business travelers and weekend cityhoppers
benefit from this evolution. Just look at
Motel-One, where sleek designer lobbies and
smart, affordable comfort reflect how luxury-born
ideas can reshape the everyday guest experience
-kudos to the visionary developer who himself
comes with a sound background in ultraluxurious
hospitality!
Still, even the slickest marketing can’t scrub away
the stench of irony: the luxury travel industry
sometimes (increasingly?) sells access to
unspoiled nature while actively spoiling it. The
most desirable destinations today? Island nations
being slowly devoured by the sea. The Maldives:
come for the overwater bungalow, stay for the
slow-motion submersion. The Azores, Dubai,
Thailand—many new developments dripping in
eco-conscious branding and unspeakable
emissions.
But perhaps the most surreal chapter in this
airborne extravagance is the aviation arms race—
where airlines now outdo each other with skyhigh
mini-suites featuring private dining tables
and lie-flat beds spacious enough to land a drone,
all the way up to full-blown luxury apartments
with full bahrooms aboard A380s. Or you could
still bypass commercial first class altogether and
hop aboard your own flying salon. Private jet
emissions? Up 46% since 2019. The F1 circus alone
could probably power a small nation—if you
harnessed the thrust from its tarmac.

Yes, only about four percent of humans fly
internationally, but guess which percentile
accounts for the majority of emissions? That’s
right. The one sipping Dom Pérignon while
posting aerial shots of “untouched” archipelagos.
The same cohort whose leisure emissions now
rival those of developing countries' annual
outputs.
So what are we in hospitality—particularly those
of us under the HoteliersGuild banner—meant
to do? Applaud with white-gloved hands while
the orchestra plays on? Or double down on
conscious hospitality, the kind that doesn’t
mistake performative greenwashing for real
accountability?
Because here's the punchline: some part of this
ÜberLuxury industry segment that sells beauty,
escape, and wonder is eating its own future. And
no amount of curated serenity playlists or
rewilded spa menus can mask the din of denial.
As we drift further into this gilded
absurdity, perhaps it's time to
admit: we’re no longer curating
luxury experiences despite the
crisis. We’re curating them
through it. In an era of carbon
aristocracy, the new motto might
as well be: Treat yourself—while
there’s still a planet left to treat
on!

HoteliersGuild CHC