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Living and Loving after Betrayalof olive branch. If whatever you try doesn’t improve the situation,change the way you experience it. In place of the self-denigratinginterpretation that she’s rejecting you or blaming you for the betrayal,see her as a hurt woman trying unsuccessfully to deal with her ownpain. That doesn’t excuse her behavior, but it improves your experienceof it. Once again, we have no control over other people, but wehave absolute control over the meaning of our experience. When wedon’t make the choice to improve the meaning we give to our experience,we’re likely to repeat the same mistakes and feel the same painover and over.Keeping a log will help you focus on improving situations (or theway you experience them) in the future. Title this log “My Attemptsto Improve Bad Situations,” and use it to track the things you havedone or will do to improve by 10 percent a bad situation or your experienceof it. (Examples: I have tried to communicate respectfully, evenwhen the other person is disrespectful; I enjoy music and recordedbooks while in traffic jams; I will try to solve problems rather thanblaming them on others.)Start out with a focus on relatively easy things to improve. Asnoted in Chapter 1, skills are more successfully acquired when initiallypracticed in relatively low-stress situations. In the beginning,practice improving situations—or your experience of situations—thatare not directly related to the betrayal.Keeping the “improve log” will help rewire your brain to think ofways to improve when something bad happens, rather than dwellingon how bad it is, which is likely to make it worse.
Learn from clinical psychologist and angermanagement expert Steven Stosny how to usecompassion to heal from betrayals such as abuse,deceit, infidelity, emotional manipulation, ordishonesty in a relationship.Order your copy ofLiving and Loving After Betrayal
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Read eBook [PDF] Game Over, Life On !: How to break free from video game addiction and become the person you were meant to be Read online

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