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Living and Loving after BetrayalPart III Loving Again10 The Path to Wise Trust 13511 How to Know If You’re Dating a Future Betrayer 14912 Intimacy and the Hungry Heart 159Part IV Rebuilding a Betrayed Relationship13 Rebuilding a Relationship with Your Betrayer 17714 The Compassionate Repair Process 19315 The Reconnection Dilemma 211Epilogue: Healing, Repair, Forgiveness 227References 233
The Key to Healing andGrowth: Your Core ValueCore value grows out of the uniquely human drive to create value—tomake people, things, and ideas important enough to appreciate, nurture,and protect. Consistently acting on the drive to create value providesa sense of meaning and purpose in life. This chapter and thenext will help develop your core value as a general means of healingand growth. Although a highly developed core value won’t make youforget your betrayal, it will definitely make all that you have sufferedless important in your life as a whole. The past can no longer controlus, once it is overshadowed by the deeply human drive to create valueand give our lives meaning.The Drive to Create ValueAlthough we have an innate drive to create value, we have to makechoices of who and what to value. A sunset has value if, and only if,
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