8_UAD_AUGUST_2025 WEBSITE

UNCLE
DIGEST
ANDY’S
FULL SERVICE PROPANE
INSTALLATION
FOR STANDBY GENERATORS!
Financing Options Now Available
Special map
insert for
Lewiston-Auburn
Balloon Festival!
FREE
AUGUST
2025
SINCE 1996
Don’t Get Burned... Reserve Your Turn!
Accepting New Delivery Customers!
Upgrade & Save with
Efficiency Maine Rebates Available Now:
Tanks
strongpropaneservices.com | Call Us TODAY - 207.810.3433
Trenching
Piping
Propane
Connection
207-977-4822
heatpumpsofmaine.com
Up to $9,000 for qualifying low-income
households (HEAP. SNAP or TANF)
$6,000 for moderate income households
(AGI <100k for joint filers or <70k for single filers)
$3,000 for all other eligible customers
We install top brands like Mitsubishi and Samsung
WiFi control, quiet operation, & energy savings.
REQUEST A
FREE ESTIMATE
207-782-7113
Technician
Wanted
Apply Within!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com
UncleAndys.com 1

RISE OF THE BALLOONS
august 15 - 17 | simard-payne park, 46 beech st. | lewiston, me
st
Join the spectacular tradition! The 31 annual L/A Balloon Festival will be larger-than-ever!
From galaxy icons to sky-high surprises, the Rise of the Balloons is more than a theme, it’s a
jaw-dropping family fun experience!
Motor Booty Saturday Night Concert | Food | Pancake Breakfast Kids
Activities | Carnival Rides | Parade | Crafters | Tethered Rides
facebook.com/laballoonfest
www.laballoonfest.org

We’re here for you
here for you
What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?
We’re here for you
Modern
Modern
Woodmen
Woodmen
of
of
America
America
continues
continues
to
to
be
be
strong
strong
and
and
stable,
stable,
even
even
in
in
these
these
times
times
of
of
uncertainty.
uncertainty.
We’ve
We’ve
been
been
around
around
since
since
1883,
1883,
standing
standing
strong
strong
through
through
world
world
wars,
wars,
national
national
disease
disease
outbreaks,
outbreaks,
depressions
depressions
and
and
recessions.
recessions.
a continues to Do
Do be you
you strong have
have
questions
questions and stable, or
or
concerns
concerns even in about
about these your
your times financial
financial of plan,
plan,
call
call
today.
today.
We
We
will
will
continue
continue
nd since 1883, to
to
be
be
here
here standing for
for
you.
you. strong through world wars, national
ns and recessions.
concerns about Modern your Woodmen financial Art Chamberlain*
of America continues to be strong Paul and Colasante* stable, even in these times Mike of
Art Chamberlain* plan, call today. We will continue Paul Colasante*
Mike
uncertainty. We’ve
Lewiston,
Lewiston, been
ME
ME around
04240
04240 since 1883, standing
Lewiston,
Lewiston, strong
ME
ME through
04240
04240 world wars, national
207-514-7003
207-782-8823
disease outbreaks, 207-514-7003 depressions and recessions. 207-782-8823
Do you have questions or concerns about your financial plan, call today. We will continue
to be here for you.
n*
240
240
240
Paul Colasante*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-782-8823
Richard Art Richard Chamberlain*
Courtemanche
Lewiston, Courtemanche ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-514-7003
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622
207-786-3622
Stacy Fortin
Rumford, ME 04276
207-357-5429
Ted Heidrich*
Lewiston,
Ted Richard Heidrich*
ME 04240
Lewiston, Courtemanche ME 04240
207-576-5656
207-576-5656
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622
Matthew Nadeau*
Winthrop, Kim Ted
Kim
Heidrich* Pelkey* ME 04364
207-395-5177
Lewiston,
Pelkey*
ME
Lewiston, 04240
ME 04240
207-786-2573
207-576-5656
207-786-2573
Mike
Courtemanche*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
Paul Stacy
Stacy Colasante*
Fortin
Fortin
Lewiston, Rumford, ME
Rumford, 04276
ME 04240
207-357-5429
04276
207-782-8823
207-357-5429
Paul Gagne*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
Matthew Nadeau*
Winthrop,
Matthew Stacy Fortin Nadeau*
ME 04364
Winthrop, Rumford, ME 04276 04364
207-395-5177
207-395-5177
207-357-5429
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston, ME 04240
Seth Matthew Vlahakos* Nadeau*
207-786-3612
Windham, Winthrop, Seth Vlahakos*
ME 04364 04062
207-395-5177
Windham, ME 04062
207-407-7576
207-407-7576
Courtemanche*
Lewiston,
Courtemanche*
ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
207-783-8921
Paul Mike Gagne*
Lewiston,
Paul Gagne*
Courtemanche* ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
207-783-8921
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston,
Ron Paul Ouellette* Gagne*
ME 04240
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3612
207-786-3612
207-576-3426
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3612
MODERN WOODMEN
OF AMERICA
AUGUST 2025
ACTIVITIES
Tuesday, August 12th
Taber’s
4:00-7:00pm
470 Lake Shore Drive,
Auburn, ME
Members: $10.00
Guests: $12.00
Purchase Tickets:
August 6th (8:30am-
1:00pm)
Thursday, August 14th
Val’s Drive-In
4:00-6:30pm
925 Sabattus Street,
Lewiston, ME
Members: $8.00
Guests: $10.00
Purchase Tickets:
August 6th (8:30am-
1:00pm)
Tuesday, August 19th
Roy’s Breakfast
7:00-10:00am
5 Washington Street,
Auburn, ME
Members: $5.00
Guests: $6.00
Purchase Tickets:
August 6th (8:30am-
1:00pm)
Tuesday August 26th
Fielder’s Choice
4:00-7:00pm
680 Minot Ave.,
Auburn, ME
Members: $3.00
Guests: $3.50
Purchase Tickets:
August 6th (8:30am-
1:00pm)
4240
* Registered representative. Seth Kim Vlahakos*
Securities Pelkey* offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of
Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Seth Inc., Vlahakos*
Modern Woodmen of Windham, America.
wholly owned subsidiary of
Lewiston, Member: ME ME 04062 04240 FINRA, SIPC
Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC
Windham, ME 04062
207-407-7576
207-786-2573
207-407-7576
Reminder: Please do not call
the restaurants. If you have a
question, please call the office
at 207-782-1833 or
207-333-6052 and speak with
Jamie. In order to attend you
must have a ticket. Tickets
must be purchased at the
MWA District Office at
184 Webster Street Lewiston,
ME on the dates times listed
for each activity. Menus are
subject to change.
d through MWA
*
Financial
Registered
Services
representative.
Inc., a wholly
Securities
owned
offered
subsidiary
through MWA
of
Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of
Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC
INRA, SIPC
Most importantly-
Have Fun!
I’m built like a cellphone. Even if I charge all night, I’m down to 50 percent by 10am.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 3

OUT & ABOUT
KP’s Place
at KP’s Place
Keith (A.K.A KP)
Sometimes I wonder if the rhythm is ever going to get me.
Smile Again
Dentures
Like our name implies,
We’ll
help you
smile again!
Yes, I'm Chuck
Noris's younger
brother! LOL!
Chris Norris
Chris is such
a nerd!
• Full Dentures • Immediate Dentures • Partial Dentures
• Rebases • Relines • Repairs
Cody Houle
Cassandra
Gagnon, LD
Joe
Adkins, LD
Licensed Denturists
Mike
Adkins, LD
Chantell Plourde
801 Webster Street, Lewiston | 514-0660
SmileAgainDentures.com | smileagaindentures@gmail.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
4 August 2025
Remember how when you were little you could just rip off your diaper and run around
naked and everyone thought it was funny and cute? Well, anyway, I need bail money.

No one does it like Mac’s
Maine’s #1 steakhouse for a reason.
Where the locals eat!
WE ARE HIRING LINE COOKS!
Ask us
about our
Coaster
Club!
BEFORE:
After:
Come in and watch
your favorite
baseball team on 11
TV’s in our bar!
Not a bad seat in
the house.
Go Red Sox
Incredibly Delicious!!
New: Mediterranean Salad
Mixed greens, artichokes, red
onions, tomatoes, cucumbers,
kalamata olives, feta cheese,
steak medalians (come
medium-well), and greek
dressing.
Every Monday 30% off drafts & 20% off burgers
Let Mac’s Cater Your Next Event!
Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays, Corporate Parties, & more!
No event too BIG or SMALL... We cater it ALL!
Now open on Tuesdays!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 5
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com

I’ve finally reached the wonder years. I wonder where my car is parked. I wonder where I left my phone.
I wonder where my sunglasses went. I wonder what day it is…
Quality Products
Reasonable Pricing
We are
Hiring!
It’s why
we’re here.
Always a call or click away!
Call, click or stop by today.
Let’s talk today!
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.®
CALL ME TODAY.
30 years
in business.
Hats
Contractors
and
Landscapers
Summer Events
Tournaments
Fundraisers
Now offering
online stores
Mugs
Pens
Bags
Call us for a quote TODAY!
207-784-4184
205 Washington St. South, Auburn
coastaltshirts.com
Our Team
PAM
ASHBY
PUBLISHER
STEVE
SIMARD
SALES
TIM
RUCKER
SALES
MARK
TURCOTTE
MEDIA COORDINATOR
JESSICA
GENDRON-LABBE
GRAPHIC DESIGNER
CARICATURES COURTESY OF J. ANTHONY FIORI | @THE_ARTIST_J_ANTHONY_FIORI)
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
is distributed by the first Friday of every month by Lydia Media
LLC with its headquarters located at
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn, Maine. Published and
distributed since 1996 throughout Central Maine and mailed to
subscribers all over the Free World. Subscriptions are $49 .95 /year.
UncleAndys.com|Office: 207-783-7039
While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very hard to ensure the accuracy of the
information in our clients’ advertisements and our publication in general, we
are not responsible for vendor availability, typographical errors, technical
inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or omissions.
UNCLE ANDY'S DIGEST is proudly printed in Lewiston, Maine
Uncle Andy’s Digest
6 August 2025
www.penmor.com

I just discovered that my electric toothbrush isn't waterproof. I was shocked!
OUT & ABOUT
at Roy’s
Foodland
I hope my
hair is not
a mess!
Amy St. Hilaire
Steve Simard
Hey, Rucker
want some meat?
Roger Violette
This morning, I saw a woman talking to her cat. She actually thought the cat
understood her. I returned home and told my dog. We laughed and laughed...
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 7

August
Birthdays
Jason Momoa (46)
Kevin Smith (55)
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd at the end of a game?
That's now allowed in bowling. I know that now.
OIL & GAS BOILER CLEANINGS
Give Us A Call Today!
Tom Brady (48)
Loni Anderson (80)
Charlize Theron (50)
Dustin Hoffman (88)
Sam Elliott (81)
Casey Affleck (50)
Sebastian Stan (43)
Steve Martin (80)
Madonna (67)
Robert De Niro (82)
Robert Redford (89)
John Stamos (62)
Amy Adams (51)
Kim Cattrall (69)
Kristen Wiig (52)
Shelley Long (76)
Dave Chappelle (52)
Gene Simmons (76)
Aaron Paul (46)
Jack Black (56)
Cameron Diaz (53)
CALL FOR PRICING
207-754-4556
Don’t Wait!
Get Your Yearly
Boiler Cleaning
and Servicing
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment.
DON’T TAKE CHANCES-
TRUST THE PROFESSIONALS.
OUR FULLY LICENSED SERVICE
TECHNICIANS BRING EXPERTISE,
SAFETY, AND PRECISION TO EVERY
JOB, BIG OR SMALL.
• Heat Pumps
• EV Chargers
• Standby Generators
• Residential & Commercial
electrical repairs and upgrades
Richard Gere (76)
Elliott Gould (87)
Uncle Andy’s Digest
8 August 2025
All of my childhood punishments have become my adult goals:
eating vegetables, staying home, taking a nap, going to bed early...

There’s No Place Like...
YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP
Grab ‘n’ Go!
Hot & Ready
Order ahead,
or sit and eat!
Agency Liquor Store
With Beer Cave
207-345-5551
$1.00
Donate your bottles to:
$1.00 OFF LARGE PIZZA
(must present coupon at time of purchase) UAD exp. 8.31.25
Help grant a wish to a local
child battling a critical illness!
Hot & Iced coffee
self-serve station!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 9
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls | dadsplacemaine.com

English
Two weeks isn't enough. I need a six-month vacation...twice a year.
Let’s face it - English is
a crazy language.
There is no egg in
eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple or pine in
pineapple.
English muffins weren’t
invented in England or
French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads,
which aren’t
sweet, are meat.
We take English for
granted. But if we
explore its paradoxes,
we find that...
quicksand can work
slowly,
boxing rings are
square,
Uncle and a guinea Andy’s pig is
Digest
neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig.
August 2015
Texas Wind
AD PROOF
A visitor asked a West
Texas cowboy, “Do
you ever get tornadoes
out here?”
Hi Greg/Dan,
The cowboy replied,
Please “Yeah, review we had your one a
while back, but it ran
proof into carefully. a sandstorm It outside
will run
of
as
town
you
and
see
got
ripped to pieces. The
it if changes wind blows are so hard not
received by
out in West Texas that
at a drive-in theater
it once blew Gene
Autry right out of the
saddle.”
July 29th
Thank you!
Uncle
Jimbo
Andy’s Digest
10 August 2025
office 783-7039
fax 777-3898
Open Daily
11am-9pm
207.777.6353 | gridironrestaurant.com | 1567 Lisbon St. Lewiston
My wife said I ruined her birthday. I said, "How? I didn't even know it was your birthday!"
Come See Us
For All Your
Pool Needs!
Caleb Lebrun
Come See Us
For All Your
Pool Needs!
www.abcpools.com • | 207-783-0858 207.783.0858 • | 800-244-0858 800.244.0858 | • 1975 Lisbon Rd. Lewiston Lewsiton
You know you're a terrible driver when your GPS says, "In 400 feet, stop and let me out!"
UAD Proof August 2015 Page 19

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting.
It's like, "Oh, so that's why I'm like this."
1940 - 2025
Overheard
Between
Steve & Tim
Tim: One of my kids
swallowed a bunch
of coins.
Steve: Oh, my, how
are they doing?
Tim: No change yet.
50’s & 60’s Music
2nd
Roll back prices on burgers, dogs & fries!
Glow In The Dark
Mini Golf
Held on select
Fridays & Saturdays
in July & August
Miniature Golf &
Driving Range
Open Daily 10am-9pm
(weather permitting)
Restaurant &
Ice Cream Stand
Open Daily 11am-9pm
Tim: I know a guy
who is addicted to
brake fluid.
Steve: Really? That
sounds serious.
Tim: Yeah, but he
says he can stop
anytime.
Tim: Thanks for the
poker invitation, but
my schedule is quite
busy.
Steve: What’s Saturday
around noon
look like?
Tim: When both
hands on the clock
are almost touching
the 12. Why do you
ask?
3rd
Tim: You won’t
believe this, but I
had to throw away
a brand new box of
animal crackers.
Steve: Why?
Tim: The label said,
“Do not eat if the
seal is broken.” Sure
enough, the seal
was in three pieces.
My friends always say, "Wow, your car is such a mess" and never, "Wow, you don't litter."
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 11

OUT & ABOUT
at Gridiron
Chocolate is crucial for survival. Dinosaurs didn't have
chocolate and look what happened to them.
The Chapman House
Home for senior ladies
Troy, Tessa Crist &
Bill McIntosh
Kim Martin
My mom and I
have the same smile!
Providing a warm and comfortable home for our residents.
The Chapman House is a vibrant
assisted living setting.
Stop in and see how our services
may benefit you or your loved one.
Emma Martin
The Chapman House has private rooms available
for residents, aged 65 and older, who need
assistance with bathing, medications, and meals.
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961
Tessa Crist &
Soleil Joly
Uncle Andy’s Digest
12 August 2025
I'm not saying I'm getting old, I'm just saying that my dinner time
and my bed time are getting dangerously close to each other.
Bonnie Iwans

When I catch people staring at me, I assume they're taking notes on how to be awesome.
PPOOLANND SSPPRRRINNG RRRESSOORRRT
FENN PARK
Mini Golf - Disc Golf
Driving Range
OPEN TO THE PUBLIC
pro Shop
18-Hole Golf Course
4 Pickleball Courts
3 Grass Tennis Courts
OUT & ABOUT
at Roy’s
All Steak
Hamburgers &
Golf Center
Ice Cream Shop
20+ flavors
Gifford’s Ice Cream
Mel’s Hilltop
Restaurant
Lunch - Dinner - Drinks
Open Daily 11:30am - 9pm
POLANDSPRINGRESORT.COM
547 Maine St. Poland Spring
207-998-4351
37 Robbins Rd. Poland Spring
207-998-6002
Evelynn, Avery & Josie
Metivier
Come on Bro,
smile for Steve!
I do all of my own stunts. Not intentionally, but still...
THE AMERICAN LEGION
FAMILY
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays
and get a surprise!
“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
Members & Guests Welcome!
AMERICAN LEGION ACT
Veterans who were honorably discharged
but whose service did not fall into previously
defined war eras may now join
the American Legion immediately. The
eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,
until a time when the U.S. is no longer at
war, as determined by Congress.
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on
Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
For Veteran or Community services, call
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229
Hall Rentals Available
Call for more
information
207-782-1118
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118
HOURS: Monday - Thursday: 12pm-8pm
Friday: 12pm-11pm • Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm
MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS
AND YOUR CANTEEN HOST AMY!
FRIDAYS 7-11pm in August
Jerry Joe - August 22 • 4:30 - 6:30pm
NO BREAKFAST UNTIL SEPTEMBER ENJOY SUMMER!
Trivia with Tyla & Keith Saturday August 30th
5-7PM
Theme: The Blues Brothers
Dinners will resume in September
MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20TH 2025
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6PM
GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 7PM
LEGION MEMBERS IN ATTENDANCE HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN
$100, $50 OR $25
Hunter & Ava Beckler
I got a hole
in one.
I think!
Levi Kastan
I installed some whiteboards in the conference room. They're remarkable.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 13

OUT & ABOUT
at Roy’s
All Steak
Hamburgers &
Golf Center
I saw a cable repairman on the street. He asked me for the time.
I said, "Somewhere between 8am and 2pm."
SPACE IS LIMITED.
SCHEDULE YOUR COMMERCIAL SNOW SERVICES IN ADVANCE!
PLOWING & REMOVAL
AVAILABLE
•COMMERCIAL
•RESIDENTIAL
•CIVIL
Jeff St Hilaire
I can't read
yet, but
pictures are
good!
Call or Email 207.754.2343 | info@hirdcontracting.com
Your Trusted
Excavation Contractor
Julie & Emily Eastman
& Addilyn Stearns
Form is
everything, right?
HOME
INSPECTOR
TRAINING
GROWING MAINE’S WORKFORCE
FREE Training for Maine Residents
Comprehensive 420-Hour Training
Flexible, Online Format
Covers Key Inspection Topics
CONTACT US OR LEARN MORE AT
CMCC.EDU/WORKFORCE
Workforce & Professional Development • Lapoint 107
cmccworkforcedevelopment@mainecc.edu • (207) 755 - 5280
Central Maine Community College does not discriminate and is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer.
For more information, please call (207) 755-5396 or email cmcchr@mainecc.edu.
Lydia's Lunch Bunch Out & About at The 2025 Squatch Open
Logan Heckman
Mark Turcotte &
Sara Poulin
Loriann Bosse &
Pam Ashby
Uncle Andy’s Digest
14 August 2025
I refuse to do cardio. Does that count as resistance training?

My friend wanted reassurance on a financial investment, so I told him,
"I swear on my life!" He said, "I've seen your life. Swear on something else."
Design-Build, Turn-Key Packages, Single or Multi-Level Homes, One Loan.
(No Construction Loan Needed in Most Cases)
Jon
Mercier
Mark
Turner
Deb
Morin
Linda
Dupuis
BUY BUILD MODULAR
See what your options are with us!
Lindsay
Wright
Mason
Dupuis
Malayka Dustin
Harriman Mallar
Paige
Landry
Brandon
Caruso
368 Minot Avenue, Auburn | 207.333.6001 | mainesourcehomes.com
One of my biggest flaws is that when I ask someone what their name is...
I forget to listen to what their name is.
Valerie
Landry
Back In
Time
For her 40th birthday,
the wife said, “I’d love
to be ten again.” So
that Saturday, we had a
heaping stack of chocolate-chip
pancakes,
her favorite childhood
breakfast. Then we hit
the playground and a
merry-go-round. We
finished the day with a
banana split.
“So how did you enjoy
being a kid for a day?”
I asked.
“Great,” she said. “But
when I said I wanted to
be ten again, I meant
my dress size.”
Problem
Solved
Henry always worried
about everything all his
life. But one day his
coworkers noticed
Henry seemed like a
changed man.
They remarked that he
didn’t seem to be the
least bit worried about
anything. Henry said
he’d hired a professional
worrier and no longer
had any problems.
So his coworkers
asked, “A professional
worrier? What does
that cost?”
“Two grand a week.”
Henry responded.
“Two grand a week!
How on earth are you
going to pay him?”
“Let him worry about it.”
To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 15

Secret
Accomplice
I told my wife that to have peace in the house, we need to
leave our problems at the door. Now I'm locked outside.
An out-of-work and
destitute young man
decided to rob a bank.
After days of observation,
he chose a small
satellite bank near his
home.
He spent several days
planning every move.
Late one dark moonless
night he picked the
lock on the rear door of
the bank without difficulty.
He stealthily crept
through the bank to the
place where he knew
the safe stood. Then
his troubles began.
While trying to open
the safe, he set off the
burglar alarm.
But his careful preparation
paid off. He had
brought along a furniture
dolly. He quickly
loaded the small safe
onto the dolly and
rolled it out to his van.
He drove to a friend’s
house and explained
his problem. He asked
if, in exchange for
some of the loot, he
might store the safe in
the friend’s garage for
a few days.
His friend assured him,
“You can rest assured,
your safe is secret with
me!”
A Red Carpet Musical Celebration
Show 7:30 p.m. Doors & Cash Bar open at 6:30 p.m.
Glam up and step into the spotlight as we kick off our 2025-26 season in true
Hollywood style! Enjoy iconic hits from Titanic, Mary Poppins, Frozen, Grease, The
Greatest Showman, Dirty Dancing, 9 to 5, The Wizard of Oz, and Disney favorites –
performed by a talented local cast. Sing along to timeless classics, walk the red
carpet, snap star-worthy photos, and sip themed cocktails from our cash bar.
TICKETS Advance (before Noon on show day):
Adults: $30 | Seniors (65+)/Youth (<18): $20.
At the Door: Adults: $35 | Seniors (65+)/Youth (<18): $25.
Sponsor: DJ Brothers
Saturday, Aug. 23
Show 8 p.m. Doors & Cash Bar open at 7 p.m.
Dueling Pianos is a fun and hilarious musical
comedy “in the round” featuring two pianists battling
for audience approval. Full cash bar. Tickets are $25
in advance; $30 at door day of show.
Season Underwriter: Maple Way Dental Care;
Media Sponsors: Bennett Radio Group
Turner Publishing | Sun Journal
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Franco Center
46 Cedar St., Lewiston
207-689-2000
www.francocenter.org
Uncle Andy’s Digest
16 August 2025
Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going.

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what to prepare for
- absolute starvation or 22,000 calories at once.
“We work with people, not just
portfolios — helping Maine families
plan for what really matters.”
Scan to learn more!
OUT & ABOUT
at Roy’s
All Steak
Hamburgers &
Golf Center
475 Pleasant St. Ste 13 | Lewiston, ME
207-784-5171
Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc., member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advisory services are offered through Raymond
James Financial Services Advisors, Inc. Investment Concepts is not a registered broker/dealer and is independent of Raymond James Financial Services.
Jeff St. Hilaire &
Willy Grady
The Village Inn
Logan Heckman
Relax and let us do
the cooking for you!
207-782-7796 | 165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com | Open Wednesday - Sunday
We’ve got you covered!
Steve & Brayden
Johansen
Peoples Insurance - Monmouth
832 Main Street, Monmouth
(207) 777-1877 or (888) 783-2246
Peoples Insurance - Ogunquit
716 Main Street, Ogunquit
(207) 646-7118 or (877) 840-7118
Pinkham Insurance
8 Almar Street, Farmingdale
(207) 626-5810 or (866) 626-5820
Champoux Insurance Agency
150 East Avenue, Lewiston
(207) 783-2246 (888) 783-2246
Rogers Insurance
38 Main Street, Lisbon Falls
(207) 353-6834 or (888) 353-6833
Willy Grady
When I was little, I didn't care what I wore. I just went along with whatever my
parents chose. When I look at old photo albums, I realize they didn't care either.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 17

Beware of the child who cleans their room without being asked…they’re about to ask for money.
Thank You To
Our Sponsors
Hammond Lumber company, Lewiston Firefighters (CBF), Modern Woodman of America, (Community Benefit Fund),
Lydia Media LLC, Poland Fire & Rescue, Marcel’s Barber Shop, Auburn Firefighters Local (797 IAFF),
Fire & Explosion Investigation, George’s Pizza, Tim Allen (Amazon), Gary & Cathy Simard, International Association of
Arson, Investigators (IAAI), Dan & Janet Perreault, Steve Simard, Maine Community Bank, Community Credit Union,
Gridiron Restaurant & Sports Pub, Central Distributors, Scott Whalen (Little Debbie, Sunbelt Snacks), Bill Cormier,
(UTZ Chips), Pepsi Bottling Group, GAI Engineers, Pat’s Pizza-Auburn, Gritty McDuff ’s Brew Pub, Poisson & Son’s Car
Care, Independent Electrical Inspections, Inc., Firesafe Equipment Inc., Poland Spring Resort / Golf Course, Firehouse
Grill, Above &Beyond, LLC, The Fortin Group (Dignity), Nonesuch River Brewing, Mac’s Grill, Depot Square
Hardware-Mechanic Falls, Thatchers Restaurant-Auburn, Daddy O’s Diner-Oxford, Mechanic Falls, Dianne Nadeau,
Lori Simard, Crowe’s Restoration-Arundel, The Brick House Pub, Splitting Wood Ax Throwing, Polly’s Variety-Oxford,
Apple Valley Golf Course, The Meadows Golf Club, Brun’s Bros. Processing Equipment.
Mainer
Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.
I asked a Mainer for
directions. He said,
“Can’t get there from
here.”
I said, “Well where can
I get?”
He pointed and said,
“Dunkin’.”
Three Dunkins later, I
was somehow deeper
in the woods, out of
gas, and holding a
lobster.
Nightly Weekend
Entertainment!
Our Famous
Sunday Blues Jam 1-5pm
Open Mic Night
Thursdays at 6:30pm
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK!
JOIN US FOR FUN TIMES!
61 Portland Rd, Gray, Maine • 207-657-7973
TWO Pool Tables,
Pinball
& Golden Tee Golf
Hours: Mon-Fri: 3pm-Close | Sat: 1pm-1am or close | Sun: 1-5pm • TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
Uncle Andy’s Digest
18 August 2025
Do you know what sea monsters like to eat? Fish and ships!

I swear if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.
MAINE STATE MUSIC THEATRE
FAlL cONceRt SEriES
At the Donald M. Gay Performing Arts Center in Auburn!
GrEaT bALlS Of FirE!
SEPTEMBER 6 & 7
Feel the fire! Jason Cohen
channels Jerry Lee Lewis in a wild,
high-energy tribute that will have
you grooving in the aisles.
VIva LAs VegAS
SEPTEMBER 20 & 21
Elvis is in the building! Award-winning tribute
artist Victor Trevino, Jr. brings the King’s biggest
hits and legendary energy to the stage.
Bringing Broadway to Brunswick
RAve ON!
OCTOBER 4 & 5
TICKETS
START
AT $35!
Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens &
Big Bopper take us on a
musical journey through the
timeless hits of three rock 'n'
roll legends.
TICKETS:
MSMT.ORG | 207.725.8769
One minute you're young and cool...and the next,
you're getting excited about a new vacuum cleaner.
Testimonial
by Main
Street Music
As a small business
we’re always trying
new ways to reach a
larger audience. We
opened our doors in
2009 and immediately
started advertising
with Uncle Andy’s
Digest.
After about 12 years of
advertising solely with
the digest, we thought
we should reach out to
other local platforms to
see if we could diversify
our
customer base. We
were shocked to see
our sales plummet.
The most noticeable
drop was during the
holiday season. We
always run the same
ad over the Christmas
season. It looks like an
actual Gift Certificate.
The one year we did
not run the ad our
sales dropped
drastically. So, the
following year we went
back to the Digest
and like clockwork our
holiday sales and gift
certificate sales were
back up to speed.
It was an expensive
lesson learned and
we haven’t wandered
from Uncle Andy’s
Digest since and we
most certainly will not
again. Thank you,
Pam and staff, for all
you do!
-Steve Grenier
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 19

L-A Facts
Hiring Manager: Why do you have a gap in your resume?
Me: Why do you have a gap in your staff?
1. Auburn was settled
in the late 1700s, and
incorporated as a town
in 1842, and as a city
by 1869.
2. Lewiston was
incorporated as a town
in 1795, and as a city in
1863.
EVERY WED 4-7PM
DINE IN ONLY
3. The area was
originally home to the
Abenaki people, who
fished the
Androscoggin River
and used the land for
seasonal settlements.
4. French Canadian
immigrants began
arriving in large
numbers in the midto
late 1800s, working
in mills and settling in
Lewiston’s “Little
Canada”
neighborhood.
LA’S #1 STOP FOR ALL
YOUR MUSIC NEEDS!
Main Street
Music Lessons
BUD LIGHT DRAFT
4PM - CLOSE
HOUSE WINE
Sea40 Japanese Cuisine
40 East Ave, Lewiston ME 04240
795-6888 | www.sea40me.com
FIDDLERS RENDEZVOUS CONCERT AT KENNEDY PARK
SPONSORED BY LA ARTS & MAIN ST MUSIC.
WITH DON & CINDY ROY, THE STAR CHARTERS,
THE NEWELL DAYAN FAMILY & SPECIAL GUEST
APPEARANCE BY GREG BOARDMAN
JOIN US SUNDAY, AUGUST 24TH FROM 1-4PM BY
THE GAZEBO!
5. Lewiston still has
one of the highest
percentages of
residents with French
ancestry in the U.S.
SALE ON ALL REFURBISHED 1/4 & 1/2 SIZE VIOLINS! ALL
PROCEEDS WILL BE DONATED TO LA ARTS
33 Dunn Street, Auburn | mainstreetmusiclessons.com | 207.376.3376
6. Bates College was
founded in 1855 in
Lewiston by
abolitionists; it was one
of the first
coeducational colleges
in New England and
admitted Black
students before the
Civil War.
7. Central Maine
Community College
(formerly CMVTI) was
established in Auburn
in 1963.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
20 August 2025
Spilling a full drink you just paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.

AUGUST 9 TH , 2025
3-9PM
AT LOST VALLEY
WISHES
IN THE VALLEY
OUR SPONSORS- Thank you!
LIVE MUSIC -
FIRE IN THE HOLE & SKOSH
• Food Trucks
• Cornhole Tournament
• Live Auction
• Chair Lift Rides
• Axe Throwing
• Disc Golf Challenges
• Bucket Golf Challenges
Auburn Firefighters Union - Austin Associates - El Pochos - Valley Beverage
Maine Community Bank - Central maine power sports - poland spring resort
champoux insurance - bancroft contracting - Suburban Propane -
Pine State Beverage - Central Distributors
benefiting
SIGN UP FOR THE
CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT
HERE!
For More Information
Email: WishesInTheValley@gmail.com OR search Wishes in the valley on Facebook
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 21

Little Dragon
Testimonial
Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
"Advertising in Uncle
Andy’s Digest has
been a great way to
introduce Little Dragon
Integrative Medicine to
the local community.
Tim Rucker, Mr. Out &
About, was incredibly
helpful in getting me
started and making
sure my message
reached the right
audience.
His support made the
whole process easy
and effective."
-John Alsobrooks
ATTN: FOOD TRUCKS-
Need A Kitchen?
Rent Our Commercial Kitchen
This Summer! Flexible Hours,
Affordable Rates &
Convenient Location.
Striving to invigorate hope,
bringing dreams to life.
Providing Direct Support To Maine Adults With Intellectual Disabilities.
• Yoga Instructor
one day a month (couple of hours)
• Chef/Cook
To provide cooking classes & instruction
These services can be very rewarding
in doing good for others.
Be part of something where others
can give your life new meaning
happyhaven.info | 134 Main St. Suite 1 & 2, Lewiston | Phone- 207-241-0274 | Fax- 207-241-7280
Why do ducks have tails? To hide their butt quacks.
LIVE
Check out our new monthly
podcast with Lydia’s Lunch Bunch
First episode coming this month !
We’ll discuss all things Lewiston with Bryan Kaenrath —
Lewiston’s new City Administrator.
Family Owned & Operated
Quality Meats Since 1930
It’s summer time
Bbq season!
We are your full
service meat
department!
Open Daily 8am - 7pm
207-782-1385 | 644 Sabattus St, Lewiston | WWW.BOURQUESMARKET.COM
ALL STEAK
HAMBURGERS
& GOLF CENTER
2514 TURNER RD. AUBURN
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
11AM - 8PM
MINI GOLF
DRIVING RANGE
BATTING CAGES
DISC GOLF
Famous Burgers , Hand-cut Fries,
Lobster Rolls,Ice Cream & More!
ROYSGOLF.COM
Come play our newly renovated 18-hole mini golf course!
BIRTHDAY PARTIES & CORPORATE EVENTS AVAILABLE
Uncle Andy’s Digest
22 August 2025
I noticed the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled.
I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word irony.

I tried to write a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but no one saw it.
Coverage for
Every Day
Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts
dedicated to protecting your assets. From risk consulting
to claims support, we help you protect what matters most.
OUT &
ABOUT
at Gridiron
John Blanchette, Sales Advisor | 207.784.9358
john.blanchette@nfp.com
For your business.
For your people.
For your life.
NFP.com
681 Sabattus St., Lewiston, ME 04240
Copyright ©2024 NFP. All Rights Reserved.
Karen Cullins &
Mr. Out & About
Call us TODAY!
Muriel celebrated...
her 90th birthday with us
and can't wait for the next party!
We maintain your home so you
don’t have to.
Services
• Inspections
• Air Duct Cleaning
•Dryer Vet Cleaning
• Heat Pump Cleaning
• Routine Home Maintenance
207-619-0868
I can't remember
what I'm making!
Abby Tarmey
I'm not just
another pretty face!
I'm smart & sexy
too!!
The Meadows
“Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”
A warm home-style assisted living center for self-sufficient seniors!
We have availability starting at $1500 per month
#433 RT. 202, P.O. BOX 629, GREENE • 946-3007
My friends and I are getting to the age where it's rude to
open a bottle of ibuprofen if I don't have enough to share.
Bill McIntosh
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 23

BNI Androscoggin Network Builders-Thank you
to my fellow members. They have been a constant
in raising funds for financial support during my
cancer journey. Best business group around!
-Ashley the Esty
Happy birthday to my wonderful and supportive
husband Michael! (Aug 26)
Simply Breathe Therapy is pleased to
welcome Laura O'Neill, LMSW-cc to the
agency! Laura comes to the practice
with over 20 years of experience.
Lisbon 8u Allstars - 2025 State Champions-After
battling back through the bracket, Lisbon Allstars
beat the Auburn Allstars for the 8u Softball State
title. Congratulations Lisbon! Hard work pays off!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
24 August 2025

Submit your shout out
today to be published
in the next issue!
* Must be submitted by 8/22 for SEPTEMBER.*
Shout Out Page Sponsored By:
Lydia's Lunch Bunch
Ariana, Happy 22nd
Birthday Peanut! -Mom
Shout out to our very own Sara
Poulin for her birthday this
month!
Happy birthday, from the Lydia
Media gang!
Covering News and Events
In The Greater LA Area.
Talking to the people making a difference.
From the Lydia Media studios in the heart of
Lewiston-Auburn, Maine, it’s Lydia’s Lunch
Bunch – L-A’s Afternoon Morning Show with
Mark, Sara, and Pam!
Shout out to Sarah - one of the
most amazing human beings.
Thank you for being such a great
friend to so many!
We’re covering news and events in the greater
L-A area and talking to the people making a
difference in our community.
Subscribe and Listen!
Give us a listen wherever you get your
podcasts and feel free to share
your comments, questions,
or suggestions at
podcast@lydiamediallc.com
207-783-7039
LydiaMediaLLC.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 25

Overheard
Between
Steve & Tim
Tim: I have an
imaginary girlfriend.
Steve: You can do
better than that.
Tim: Well, thank you.
Steve: I was talking
to your girlfriend.
Tim: I can’t stop
singing songs by
The Who.
Steve: How long has
this been going on?
Tim: Ever since I
was a young boy.
Tim: I think I’m losing
my memory.
I could never have an affair...my wife would need to plan it and remind me to go.
THE GAHS
GOLDEN
PAW AWARDS
Thursday, September 18th | 5 - 9pm
Royal Oak Room, Lewiston
GET YOUR TICKETS TODAY!
Awards THE GAHS
Silent GOLDEN Auction PAW AWAR
Comedy
Dinner & Drinks
Awards Silent Auction Comedy
Dinner buffet by
Grazi To Go!
Proceeds Help Benefit
The Greater Androscoggin Humane Society
Thursday, September 12t
5:00pm- 9:00pm
Royal Oak Room, Lewiston
Get Your Tickets Today to Be
the Greater Androscoggin Human
www.gahumane.org/goldenpaw
The Greater Androscoggin Humane Society | www. gahumane.org/goldenpawawards
I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror this morning. I won't be doing that again.
Steve: When did that
happen?
Tim: When did what
happen?
Tim: I haven’t caught
any fish today.
Steve: I know. I’m in
the same boat.
Tim: My parents are
flying in for a visit.
Steve: Are you
meeting them at the
airport?
Tim: No, I’ve known
them my whole life.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
26 August 2025
"At least YOU love me," I say to my cat as I hold her to
my chest and she tries to get away.

I should be ashamed of my attitude. I'm not, but I should be.
Residential Friendly Dumpsters
Bin Sizes:
Rent a
dumpster
today for your
clean up
tomorrow!
10 yd. bin - 10’ long x 7’ wide - 4’ high
14 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8’ wide - 4.5’ high
20 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8’ wide - 6’ high
Dispatch
Office: 207-224-0337
Cell: 207-212-0736
170 N. Daggett Hill Rd.
Greene, ME 04236
portlandme@bintheredumpthat.com
Our Residential Friendly Design Includes
Easy Load Double Rear Doors
Driveway Protection Boards
Dependable Friendly Service
207-224-0337
www.bintheredumpthatusa.com
Eligible for Medicare?
CALL US TODAY
to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.
30+
Years of
Experience!
Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston
We have camping gear & supplies!
50th
Anniversary l
Jerry was at a marriage
seminar, and the
leader of the seminar,
was asking everybody
how long they had
been married. When it
was Jerry’s turn Jerry
responded that he was
married for almost 50
years.
“Wow” the leader
gushed, “that’s amazing!
Perhaps you can
take a few minutes to
share some insights
with everybody, how
you stay married to the
same woman for so
long.”
“Well,” Jerry said
after thinking for a
few moments, “I try to
treat her nice, buy her
presents, take her on
trips… and best of all,
for our 25th anniversary
I took her to the
Bahamas.”
“Well that’s really
beautiful, and a true inspiration
for all of us,”
the lady said, “maybe
you can tell us what
you are going to do
for your 50th anniversary?”
she said with a
smile.
“Well” Jerry said, “I’m
thinking of going back
to the Bahamas to pick
her up.”
COOLERS • FLAT TOP GRIDDLES • GRILLS • CHAIRS • SUPPLIES • POP-UPS - TENTS
186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus, ME (207) 375-6253 - 2 Miles Off I-95 Exit 86 Family Owned & operated
My friend gave me directions and said, "You can't miss it."
I replied, "You have no idea what I'm capable of."
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 27

Testimonial
by
Heat Pumps
of Maine
Our ad in Uncle Andy’s
Digest has been a
resounding success!
Not only has it brought
in a steady stream of
new clients, but those
initial
connections have
blossomed into larger
projects, generating
tens of thousands of
dollars in revenue.
At Heat Pumps of
Maine, we believe in
supporting our local
community. Partnering
with Lydia Media, a
truly local marketing
powerhouse, perfectly
aligns with our values.
-Cam Bussiere
I often wonder if songbirds make fun of hummingbirds for not knowing the words.
WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER
NEW MEMBERS!
Wicked Smart Web
wickedsmartweb.com
Books a Million
booksamillion.com
Maine Legends FC
mainelegendsfc.org
Durham Forestry Mulching, Land Clearing
and Stump Grinding
mainestumpgrinder.com
415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM
You're curious about my financial status? Well, I just rinsed off a paper plate.
Specializing In Chicken & Seafood
Since 2012
Open tues - sat | 11am - 7pm
207.376.4295 | 245 Center St, Auburn
207-777-5600
24 Hour Service
Proudly serving Auburn,
Lewiston, and the surrounding
communities!
235 N. River Road, Auburn
The Dog days of summer are
here. Don’t get caught in the
heat without your A/C!
Give Us A Call
Call Now For Preventative
Maintenance
pro-techrefrigeration.com | theresa@pro-techrefrigeration.com
There’s no better place
in LA to experience
Summer than
Pat’s Deck!
Scan to
check out
our menu
85 Center Street, Auburn | 207-784-8221 | 11a-9p daily
Uncle Andy’s Digest
28 August 2025
I must be getting stronger. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand!

Maybe eating tacos wasn't cheating on my diet.
Maybe going on a diet was cheating on my tacos.
RELAX.
BOOK YOUR ONLINE AT ESSENCEWELLNESSSPA.COM | 11 MECHANIC FALLS RD, OXFORD
MASSAGE | FACIALS | SAUNA | FOOT SOAKS | LASHES | WAXING | OPEN DAILY | 207-539-5128
Tell our advertisers you saw
them in Uncle Andy’s Digest!
Walking
the Line
After a recent college
basketball game, the
coach spotted a cell
phone lying on the
floor. He picked it up
and handed it to one
of the referees, saying,
“Here’s your phone.”
“What makes you
think its mine?” the ref
asked.
“Easy,” the coach
replied. “It says you
missed 13 calls!”
An Earache
Timeline
The following is a
timeline of the medical
protocols for an
earache.
2000 B.C. - “Here, eat
this root.”
1000 B.C. - “That root
is heathen, say this
prayer.”
1850 A.D. - “That
prayer is superstition,
drink this potion.”
5-Star-Rated
Audiologists for High-
Quality, Compassionate
Hearing Care
Call to schedule
today!
Hear more.
Live more.
(207) 640-2609 You deserve to be part of every moment.
www.hearmaine.com 475 Pleasant St., Lewiston 65 Lincoln Ave., Rumford
1940 A.D. - “That
potion is snake oil,
swallow this pill.”
1985 A.D. - “That pill
is ineffective, take this
antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. - “That
antibiotic isn’t 100%
natural. Here, eat this
root!”
Gardening tip: You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 29

CALL THE PROS
ATHLETES RUNNERS MANUAL LABORERS
REGULAR MASSAGE BENEFITS INCLUDE:
• Reduction in muscle soreness + fatigue • Improved circulation
• Increases/restores joint range of motion • Injury prevention
• Improved tissue healing
207.240.6415 | www.memassagetherapy.com
Add 4 Months to Your Watersports
Season with a Wetsuit
• Swimming
• Snorkeling
• Scuba
• Water-ski
We can help you
stay warmer longer!
CHILDRENS
TOO!
805 Main Street
Lewiston
784-7300
Enter to win our
backpack of school
supplies give away
Coach Terry’s
REDEMPTION
CENTER
The friendly redemption center
8 Tidswell Road Turner
207-225-2008
Open daily 8am to 4pm
Full Color
Quality
printing
• Posters
• Booklets
• Carbonless forms
• Envelopes
EVERGREEN
CUSTOM PRINTING, INC.
• Business Cards & More!
782-0525
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn | Info@evergreencustomprinting.com
Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services
Serving Lewiston & Auburn Since 2018
Mike Magretto
Veteran Owned & Operated
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
LYDIA
LYDIA’S
LA’s Afternoon
Morning Show
207-530-8890
PODCAST
Accounting
& Tax
Service You
Can Trust!
MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.
Certified Public Accountant
Tax Planning & Preparation
for Individuals and Business
P.O. Box 895 | 207.782.1040
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B | Auburn, ME 04212
Check out our podcast and
hear what's
happening around here!
Want to be a part of our podcast!? Call or email FMI!
FMI contact Pam Ashby 207.783.7039 or podcast@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
30 August 2025
I was the best man at my brother's wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my glass
and said, "Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and syrup." It was a French toast.

CALL THE PROS
SUMMER
IS MADE FOR
RELAXING
Massage days are as
relaxing as beach days-
minus the sand.
Call to book your massage today!
(207)-402-8654
918 Sabattus St. Lewiston |www.lamassagemaine.com
Come see us for all your firearm and supplies needs
Fine Line Gun Shop
• GUNS
• AMMO
• ACCESSORIES
(207) 998-2374
590 Plains Rd., Poland
finelinegun@aol.com
MOBILE CPR & BLS TRAINING
FOR ALL OF MAINE
For both healthcare professionals
and lay people. We come to your
location for your convenience!
CALL TODAY
Offering Certification
and Re-certification
19 Roy Street Lewiston | 207-330-0322
Your trusted,
nonprofit resource
for assistance
and information
Medicare counseling • Caregiver support
Educational programming • Meals on Wheels
seniorsplus.org • 207-795-4010
RON’S
TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE
YOUR FULL SERVICE
REPAIR FACILITY
VEHICLE MAINTENANCE
CHECKS DONE HERE
375-4924
515 Gardiner Rd. Wales
COOL OFF WITH
DELICIOUS CUSTARD
Specializing in Domestic & Truck,
Automatic & Manual
Transmissions, Transfer
Cases, & Differentials
Ron
Charpentier, Jr.,
Owner
Fresh Frozen
Craft Custard
Premium Soft Serve
CHECK OUT OUR
FACEBOOK FOR
WEEKLY FLAVORS!
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/THELOGYARDDAIRYBAR | 1184 Maine St, Poland, ME
A radiator shop is a great place to take a leak.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 31

Based on the amount of laundry I do each week, I'm starting to
think there are people living in my house that I have yet to meet.
HEALTH & FITNESS
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Donate Your Car to Veterans Today! Help and Support our
Veterans. Fast - FREE pick up. 100% tax deductible. Call
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Portable Oxygen Concentrator May Be Covered by Medicare!
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design and long-lasting battery of Inogen One. Free
information kit! Call 877-305-1535
VIAGRA and CIALIS USERS! 50 Generic Pills SPECIAL
$119.00! Shipped discreetly to your home. 100% guaranteed.
24/7 CALL NOW! 800-709-3080
HOME SERVICES
Aging Roof? New Homeowner? Got Storm Damage? You
need a local expert provider that proudly stands behind
their work. Fast, free estimate. Financing available. Call
1-888-878-9091
Water damage cleanup: A small amount of water can cause
major damage to your home. Our trusted professionals dry
out wet areas & repair to protect your family & your home
value! Call 24/7: 1-888-872-2809. Have zip code!
MISCELLANEOUS
Prepare for power outages today with a Generac Home
Standby Generator. Act now to receive a FREE 5-Year
warranty with qualifying purchase* Call 1-855-948-6176
today to schedule a free quote. It’s not just a generator. It’s
a power move.
No more cleaning gutters guaranteed! LeafFilter - most
advanced gutter protection , backed by a no-clog guarantee
& lifetime warranty. 833-610-1936 to schedule free
inspection & estimate. Get 20% off! Seniors/military save
extra 10%. Restrictions apply, see rep for warranty &
details
Inflation is at 40 year highs. Interest rates are way up.
Credit cards. Medical bills. Car loans. Do you have $10k or
more in debt? Call National Debt Relief and find out how to
pay off your debt for significantly less than what you owe!
Free quote: Call 1-844-955-4930
Bath & shower updates in as little as 1 day! Affordable
prices - No payments for 18 months! Lifetime warranty &
professional installs. Senior & military discounts available.
1-877-543-9189
Become a published author. We want to read your book!
Dorrance Publishing trusted since 1920. Consultation,
production, promotion & distribution. Call for free author’s
guide 1-877-729-4998 or visit dorranceinfo.com/ads
Wesley Financial Group, LLC Timeshare Cancellation
ExpertsOver $50,000,000 in timeshare debt & fees cancelled
in 2019. Get free info package & learn how to get
rid of your timeshare! Free consultations. Over 450 positive
reviews. 833-308-1971
DIRECTV Stream - Carries the most local MLB Games!
Choice Package $89.99/mo for 12 mos Stream on 20
devices at once. HBO Max included for 3 mos (w/Choice
Package or higher.) No contract or hidden fees! Some
restrictions apply. Call IVS 1-866-859-0405
Replace your roof w/the best looking & longest lasting material
steel from Erie Metal Roofs! 3 styles & multiple colors
available. Guaranteed to last a lifetime! Limited Time Offer
up to 50% off install + Additional 10% off install (military,
health & 1st responders.) 1-833-370-1234
Jacuzzi Bath Remodel can install a new, custom bath or
shower in as little as one day. For a limited time, waving
ALL installation costs! (Additional terms apply. Subject
to change and vary by dealer. Offer ends 6/30/25.) Call
1-844-501-3208
Old guitars wanted! Gibson, Fender, Martin, Etc. 1930’s to
1980’s. Top dollar paid. Call 866-433-8277
SAVE $350 when you transform
your patio into an outdoor oasis.
Be prepared before the next power outage.
Instant shade—at the touch of a button.
Enjoy more quality time with family and friends.
Up to 10-Year Limited Warranty.
Call 1-866-350-2161 now to
SAVE $350 TODAY!
America’s #1 Awning!
Receive a free 5-year warranty
with qualifying purchase*
- valued at $535.
Call 866-643-0438 to
schedule your free quote!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
32 August 2025
I wasn't enjoying a sleepover, so I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up.
She said, "No. You're 40 and that's your husband and kids. You have to stay with them!"

Call us
for a free
estimate!
207-576-4239
Check
Out Our
Hidden
Fences!
Call For A Free Estimate!
dogwatchofcentralmaine.com
Cleanings for:
Property Management
Commercial/ Office
Post Construction
Rental Turn Over
207-713-1550
BUSINESS
SP TLIGHT
Richard Moylan
(207) 777-0050
791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn
richardmoylan@allstate.com
Insurance and coverages subject to terms.
qualifications and availability. Allstate Property
and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire
and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook,
Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company
Keep your shoes clean
& your yard GREEN.
Scoop 4Paws
We Scoop...
So You Don’t Have To!
SPRING CLEAN-UPS
Weekly/Bi-weekly
Maintenance
Call, text, or message
us on Facebook
207-713-1550
207-782-7141
207-782-7141
Stressed!?
Keep calm, eat pizza
207-242-4988
GOTBUGS83@GMAIL.COM
Ticks, Mosquitoes, Rodents,
Insects, Bedbugs,
Fleas, & Roaches!
At my house, we do not throw food away. We put leftovers in
containers and forget about them until it's time to clean the fridge.
Top Agent of
the Month
June 2025
Jason Becvar
(207) 713-1617
81 Main St, Auburn ME
www.TMREE.com
Want to help us distribute?
2 great falls plaza suite 1b, Auburn
call or email
office@lydiamediallc.com
783.7039
Cosmetic
Surgery
Jill, a middle-aged
woman, is recovering
from surgery following
a severe heart attack.
Suddenly, she has a
vision of God by her
bedside.
“Will I die God?” she
asks.
To which God responds,
“No my dear,
you still have 30 more
years to live yet.”
Jill decides that if she
has 30 more years, she
might as well make the
most of her time.
So she gets liposuction,
a tummy tuck, a
hair transplant, and
collagen injections in
her lips. When it’s all
finished and the bruises
have healed she looks
absolutely stunning and
10 years younger.
The day she’s discharged
from the
hospital, she leaves
the hospital with a real
spring in her step.
Feeling very good about
her makeover, Jill steps
into the street and is
immediately knocked
down by a car and
killed.
As she steps through
the Pearly Gates, Jill
sees God and decides
to complain. “You said
I had 30 more years to
live,” she says to God.
“Well that’s true,” says
God.
“So what happened?”
Jill asks.
To which God shrugs
and says, “I’m sorry but
I didn’t recognize you.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 33

Out & About
at Roy’s
Foodland
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Check out
our homemade
brownies!
Rt. 4 in Turner • Just past Twitchell’s Airport • 225-3432 • www.G3Firearms.com
Mike Roy
Today is the day that I do everything tomorrow.
I made those
brownies!
Lucille Violette
Roy’s
FoodLand
WE ARE OPEN!
70 Broad Street, Auburn
207-783-8471
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm
Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed
If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke…
because I’m moving to a wealthy neighborhood.
Best Chicken
& Ham Salad
In Town!
SATURDAY
Beans, bread/
rolls & cole slaw
$12.99
WEDNESDAY
Ham, Veggie,
Salami, or
Pepperoni Italians
$3.99
Poisson & Sons Auto Care
260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144
FULL SERVICE GAS STATION
august
Stickers
Are Due!
We aim to provide
old-fashioned service
with a smile!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
34 August 2025
My resume is just a list of things I never want to do again.

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet got involved.
Pull The
Plug
Out in Kansas,
tornadoes often hit
with sudden
devastation, and
without warning.
In one case, a house
was completely
whisked away,
leaving only the
foundation and first
floor.
gippers.com 120 center st. auburn 207.786.0715
In Memory of Trevor Saunders
Trevor loved his
animals and would
have adopted all the
cats and dogs
at the shelter
if he could.
We are honoring his memory and his love for
pets by asking those who can donate in his
name to the Greater Androscoggin Humane
Society. Scan the code below and put
“In memory of Trevor Saunders.”
Greater Androscoggin Humane Society
55 Strawberry Avenue, Lewiston | 207.783.2311 | gahumane.org
Scan here
to donate
A silver-haired farm
lady was seen sitting
dazed, in a
bathtub. It was the
only remaining part
of the house left
above the floor.
The rescue squad
rushed to her aid
and found her
unhurt, sitting there
in the tub, talking to
herself.
“It was the most
amazing thing … it
was the most
amazing thing,”
she kept repeating
dazedly.
“What was the most
amazing thing,
Ma’am?” asked one
of the rescuers.
“I was visiting my
daughter here, and
I decided to take a
bath. I swear all I
did was pull the plug
and dog-gone-it if
the whole house
didn’t suddenly drain
away.”
I just bought a sweet car online. It was previously owned by Neil Diamond.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 35

| EVENTS |
AUGUST
Every Sunday
Lewiston Farmers’
Market
Lewiston Farmers’ Market
2 Oxford St. Lewiston
9:30am - 1pm
LewistonFarmersMarket.com
Episode 218
Blues Jam
Tailgate Bar & Grill
61 Portland Rd. Gray
1pm - 5pm
TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
Episode 216
Episode 214
Episode 209
Every monday
Make Art with ArtVan
Lewiston Public Library
200 Lisbon St. Lewiston
3pm
LPLonline.org
Playgroup
Community Concepts
124 Canal St. Lewiston
10am - 11:30am
FB.com/CommunityConcepts
August 1
Elliott Edgar Hill
Scholarship Fundraiser
Pettengill Park
48 Pettengill Park Rd. Auburn
4pm - 8pm
august 2
Drunk in Public
Fast Breaks
1465 Lisbon St. Lewiston
8pm
august 3
Maine Mini Golf Open
Tabers
470 Lakeshore Dr. Auburn
9:30am
TabersGolf.com
august 5
Maine Author,
Claire Hersom
Auburn Recreation Dept.
99 Pettengill Park Rd. Auburn
1pm
FB.com/AuburnRecME/
Lewiston Summer Fun
& Films (National Night
Out)
Lewiston Middle School
75 Central Ave. Lewiston
6pm
FB.com/LewistonSummerFilms
august 6
Paint Night
Marco’s Restaurant
12 Mollison Way, Lewiston
6pm
FB.com/MarcosRestaurantLewiston
Episode 208
Cornhole Night
Legends Sports Bar and Grill
4 Mollison Way, Lewiston
6pm - 9pm
LegendsMaine.com
august 7
Life is a Highway Paint
Night
Moon Stone Pottery
186 Turner St. Auburn
6pm
FB.com/MoonStonePotteryME
august 8
David Jaquet
Apple Valley Golf Course
316 Pinewoods Rd. Lewiston
6pm - 9pm
FB.com/applevalleygolfme
august 8-17
The Spongebob Musical
LA Community Little Theatre
30 Academy St. Auburn
Start times vary
LAclt.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
36 August 2025
Send us your events for September by August 21. Call 207.783.7039 or email billing@LydiaMediaLLC.com

Calendar
Sponsored by:
Calendar
Sponsored By:
2025
august 9
Limitless Wrestling
The Colisee
190 Birch St. Lewiston
7pm
LimitlessWrestling.com
NEF: Cruel Summer
Lewiston Armory
65 Central Ave. Lewiston
7pm
NEFights.com
Wishes in the Valley
Lost Valley
200 Lost Valley Rd. Auburn
3pm - 9pm
UncleAndys.com
august 10
Ride for Suicide
Awareness
L-A Harley
839 Main St. Lewiston
9am
L-AHarley.com
The Bob and Lucy Violette
Bowling Tournament
Just-In-Time Recreation
24 Mollison Way, Lewiston
9:30am
FB.com/bowl207
august 11
Death Cafe LA
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St. Auburn
5:15pm
AuburnPublicLibrary.org
august 12
Center for Wildlife
Maine Resiliency Center
184 Main St. Lewiston
5:30pm
FB.com/MaineResiliencyCenter
Heather Price
Fast Breaks
1465 Lisbon St. Lewiston
8pm
august 13
Songwriter Open Mic
Olive Pit Brewing
16 Main St. Lisbon Falls
6pm - 9pm
FB.com/olivepitbrewing
august 15-17
Lewiston-Auburn Balloon
Festival
Simard-Payne Memorial Park
46 Beech St. Lewiston
Launches at 6am and 6pm
LABalloonFest.org
august 16
Yard Sale for Ending
Hunger
OTIS Federal Credit Union
170 Main Street, Jay
8am-12:30pm
OTISfcu.coop
Hot Air Balloon
Celebrations
Wicked Illustrations
140 Canal St. Lewiston
10am - 4pm
WickedIllustrations.com
Blues, Brews & Cruise
Festival Plaza
112 Main St. Auburn
12pm
FB.com/CityofAuburnMaine
Edward Little HS 30th
Class Reunion
Lost Valley
200 Lost Valley Rd. Auburn
6pm
Divorce Diaries
Great Falls Comedy Club
34 Court St. Auburn
8pm
GreatFallsComedyClub.com
august 19
Adult Pottery Class
Moon Stone Pottery
186 Turner St. Auburn
6pm
FB.com/MoonStonePotteryME
august 20
Knapp Morrison
Scholarship Scarmble
Fairlawn Golf Course
388 Empire Rd. Poland
8am
LAMetroChamber.com
Lewiston Summer Fun &
Films
Simard-Payne Memorial Park
46 Beech St. Lewiston
6pm
FB.com/LewistonSummerFilms
August 21
Third Thursday
Pop-Up Market
75 Lincoln St. Lewiston
4pm - 7pm
LewistonFarmersMarket.com
Paint Night
Lewiston Public Library
200 Lisbon St. Lewiston
5pm
LPLonline.org
August 23
Root to Rise Yoga
75 Lincoln St. Lewiston
4pm - 7pm
LewistonFarmersMarket.com
August 21
Third Thursday
Pop-Up Market
Little Ridge Farm
103 Gould Rd. Lisbon Falls
9am
LittleRidgeFarm.com
August 29
Movement at the Museum -
Bird Walk
Maine MILL
35 Canal St. Lewiston
5pm
MaineMILL.com
Denny Breau
Poland Spring Resort
22 Robbins Way, Poland
7pm
FB.com/PolandSpringResort
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 37

Directory of Advertisers
AUTOMOTIVE
Armand’s Auto Body............................C
armandsautobody.com
Poisson & Sons Auto Care................ 34
207.782.9144
Ron’s Transmission............................ 31
207.375.492
BANKING SERVICES
Community Credit Union....................C
communitycreditunion.com
Dirigo Federal Credit Union............ 31
dirigofcu.com
Otis Federal Credit Union................ 20
207.879.0900
CLEANING PROFESSIONALS
Bin There Dump That.......................27
207.2240337
Collaborative Cleaners......................33
207.713.1550
Emerald Janitorial..............................30
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
Scoop 4Paws........................................33
207.713.1550
Simply Clean ME LLC.......................35
207.370.7244
CONSTRUCTION & EXCAVATION
General Concrete Cutting Services..... 7
207.783.1027
Hird Contracting................................ 14
207.754.2343
DENTISTS & DENTURES
Smile Again Dentures.......................... 4
SmileAgainDentures.com
EDUCATION/BUSINESS SERVICES
Barclay's Skindivers Paradise........... 30
207.784.7300
Central Maine Community College ..... 14
smcc.edu/workforce
LA Metro Chamber of Commerce.... 28
lametrochamber.com
Main Street Music Lessons................ 20
207.376.3376
ELECTRICAL
DeBlois Electric, Inc............................ 8
debloiselectric.com
ENTERTAINMENT
Franco Center......................................16
Uncle Andy’s Digest
francocenter.org
38 August 2025
Golden Paw Awards........................... 26
www.gahumane.org/goldenpawawards
Lewiston-Auburn Balloon Festival........ 2
www.laballoonfest.org
Maine State Music Theatre................. 19
www.msmt.org
Roy’s Allsteak Hamburgers & Golf .... 22
RoysGolf.com
Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine.................... 20
sea40me.com
Taber's..................................................11
Tabersgolf.com
Tailgate Bar & Grill........................... 18
TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
William J. Rogers Post #153........ 313
207.782.1118
FINANCIAL SERVICES
Investment Concepts.........................17
207-784-5171
Michael G. Spaulding........................ 30
207.782.1040
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 27
modern-woodmen.org
Otis Federal Credit Union................ 20
www.otisfcu.coop
FOOD & BEVERAGE
Bourque's Market............................... 22
207-782-1385
Dad's Place............................................ 9
dadsplacemaine.com
Firehouse Grill................................... BC
firehouseauburn.com
George’s Pizza.....................................33
georgespizza.com
Gipper’s................................................35
gippers.com
GridIron Restaurant.......................... 10
gridironrestaurant.com
KP's Place............................................28
207-376-4295
Log Yard...............................................31
TheLogYardDairyBar.com
Mac’s Grill............................................. 5
MacsGrill.com
Pat’s Pizza Auburn.............................. 28
patsauburn.com
Roopers Beverage & Redemption...39
roopersbeverage.com
Roy’s Allsteak Hamburgers & Golf.... 22
RoysGolf.com
Roy’s Foodland....................................34
ShopAtRoysFoodland.com
Sea 40 Japanese Cuisine.................... 20
sea40me.com
Taber's..................................................11
Tabersgolf.com
Tailgate Bar & Grill........................... 18
TailgateBarAndGrill.biz
The Village Inn-Auburn.................... 17
villageinnmaine.com
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Andwell Health Partners................... 31
andwell.org
Central Maine Audiology................. 29
207-705-9558
Essence Wellness Spa LLC............... 29
essencewellnessspa.com
Happy Haven....................................... 22
happyhaven.info
LA Massage.........................................31
LAMassageMaine.com
Little Dragon......................................22
207.531.5346
ME Massage Therapy........................ 30
memassagetherapy.com
Maine Mobile CPR............................ 31
207-330-0322
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 27
modern-woodmen.org
Senior Planning..................................28
207.705.3657
Seniors Plus.........................................31
207.795.4010
HEATING & PLUMBING
Heat Pumps of Maine.........................C
heatpumpsofmaine.com
Pro-Tech Refrigeration..................... 28
pro-techrefrigeration.com
United Piping Heating & Plumbing...... 8
207.754.4556
Strong Propane.....................................C
strongpropaneservices.com
HOME IMPROVEMENT
ABC Pool..............................................10
207-783-0858
Dog Watch...........................................33
207.5764239
General Concrete Cutting Services.....7
207.783.1027
Upfront Home Inspections............... 23
207.619.0868

Got Bugs Pest Services LLC............33
207-242-4988
Sturdy Hardware.................................27
207.375-6253
INSURANCE
Andy Valley Insurance & Retirement...33
agents.horacemann.com/AVIR
Champoux Insurance......................... 17
888.983.2246
Lisa Laliberte-State Farm................... 6
207.783.3332
John Blanchette NFP Insurance...... 23
207.784.9358
Richard Moylan-Allstate................... 33
207.777.0050
MISCELLANEOUS
Dog Watch...........................................29
207.5764239
Happy Haven.......................................22
happyhaven.info
LA Chamber of Commerce..............28
William J. Rogers Post #153...........13
207.782.1118
PRINT & PROMOTIONAL
Coastal T-Shirts....................................6
coastaltshirts.com
Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
Evergreen Custom Printing.............30
207.782.0525
WIGY Radio.......................................26
wigyradio.com
REAL ESTATE
Debbie Bodwell-Guild Mortgage..... BC
207.754.3962
Maine Real Estate Experience........ 33
themainerealstateexperience.com
Maine Source Realty..........................15
mainesourcehomes.com
Pinepoint Realty................................BC
207.376.2683
RECREATION
ABC Pool..............................................10
207.783.0858
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise........... 30
207.784.7300
Main Street Music Lessons................ 35
207.376.3376
Poland Spring Resort.......................... 13
207.998.6002
Roy’s Allsteak Hamburgers & Golf.... 22
RoysGolf.com
Taber's..................................................11
Tabersgolf.com
REDEMPTION CENTERS
Coach Terry’s Redemption Center....30
207.225.2008
Roopers Beverage & Redemption.....39
roopersbeverage.com
Dad's Place............................................9
dadsplacemaine.com
RETIREMENT
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 27
modern-woodmen.org
The Chapman House
Assisted Living ..................................12
207.783.0961
Seniors Plus.........................................31
207.795.4010
The Meadows Senior Living............23
207.946.3007
SPORTING GOODS
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise...............30
207.784.7300
Fine Line Gun Shop........................... 31
207.998.2374
G3 Firearms.........................................34
G3Firearms.com
C - front cover | IFC - inside front cover | BC - back cover | IBC - inside back cover
Thank You to All of Our Sponsors
ForAnother Great Year!
Scan for full list of sponsors
St. Laurent Family at the Squatch Open
545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047
980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072
794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353
686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200
The Party Starts
at Roopers!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 39

$8
August drink Drink Special
Apple Island Splash
You’ll love
our daily
spcials
207-376-4959 • 47 Broad Street, Auburn • www.firehouseauburn.com
Equal Housing Opportunity
WWW.GUILDMORTGAGE.COM/LICENSING
For more licensing Information
WWW.NMLSCONSUMERACCESS.ORG
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p
Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com
40 August 2025