Focus on the Family Magazine

Love and

Friendship

FEB / MAR 2026

GENDER-

CONFIDENT

KIDS

OPPOSITES IN

CLOSE QUARTERS

LEARNING ABOUT MY SPOUSE

ALL OVER AGAIN

Page 36

Become a

Friend of the Family!

Our faithful monthly partners, called Friends of the Family, provide a solid

and reliable foundation that allows Focus on the Family Canada to provide

consistent help to families across the country—every day of the year!

Monthly giving is easy and convenient, and you can choose to give

automatically through your bank account or credit card.

Ad Title

2

EN

You can help families thrive all year long!

Scan the QR code to become a Friend of the Family today!

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Friends

40

34

FEB / MAR 2026

In Every Issue

4 LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT

5 MINISTRY SPOTLIGHT

6 OFF THE SHELF

8 AGE & STAGE

45 MEMORY VERSE

46 MY CANADIAN FAMILY

36

ADOBE STOCK - TUNEDIN, STRANGER MAN, ANASTASIIA HEVKO / ILLUSTRATIONX - STUART HOLMES, DÉBORA ISLAS

Parenting

12 WHEN BOUNDARIES

HINDER BONDING

Rules are important,

but connecting with

your teen is essential

by Jonathan McKee

16 NOTES IN THE MARGIN

How my husband

and I give Bibles with

a personal touch

by Lori Veldkamp

18 POINTS OF CONNECTION

Activities to do with

your grandkids

by Sheila Seifert

20 GENDER-CONFIDENT KIDS

Helping your children

embrace their Goddesigned,

biological sex

by Suzanne Gosselin

25 SIMPLE WAYS YOU CAN

SPEND MORE TIME WITH

YOUR CHILDREN

The Thriving Family

podcast

An interview with Jason Weening

26 ‘DAD GOT SCAMMED’

by Adam Holz

Marriage

28 WHAT WE WISH WE KNEW

Advice from married

couples to their

newlywed selves

by Focus on the Family

Canada

33 THE IMPORTANCE OF

HUMILITY AND SERVANT-

HEARTEDNESS IN

MARRIAGE

The Thriving Family

podcast

An interview with Arlene

Pellicane

34 ‘IT ENDS WITH KISSING’

The benefits of dating

your spouse

by Dr. Greg Smalley

36 OPPOSITES IN

CLOSE QUARTERS

Embarking on an

adventure and learning

about my spouse all

over again

by Jane Daly

45

Faith

40 LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

Stories from Scripture

that show different

facets of love

by Subby Szterszky

44 LEARNING THE SABBATH:

ONE MOM’S STORY

The Thriving Family

podcast

LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT

President

Jim Daly

Focus Canada

President

Jean-Paul Beran

Senior Associate

Editor

Sarah Brickens

Art Director

Sally Dunn

Ups and Downs of Life

ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN MARRIED for any stretch of time

knows that there are good days and bad days, highs and lows. My wife, Susan,

and I are entering our 30th year of marriage this year, and we have experienced

these ups and downs throughout our three decades together.

I am so grateful for our shared commitment to loving God and inviting His

love to transform our hearts day in and day out. That spiritual foundation has

also affected how we show up as parents, neighbors, co-workers and friends.

Throughout this issue of the magazine, you’ll be reminded of God’s love

for you as well as His desire to help us love one another. Whether it’s learning

how adventure can draw a couple closer together (page 36), understanding

how to set boundaries with your teen without hindering your bond with

them (page 12), or discovering the different facets of love in the Scriptures

(page 40), we have something in this issue for every stage of family life.

If you’re married and you and your spouse are hoping to reinvest in your

relationship in some way this year, I invite you to check out our marriage

programs. Journey to Us is an interactive event where you can learn practical

tools to strengthen your marriage (JourneyToUs.ca). Hope Restored is

designed to help couples in crisis find healing (HopeRestoredCanada.ca).

As always, we’re here for you if you need extra help. Please visit our website

at FocusOnTheFamily.ca, email us at info@fotf.ca or call our team at

1.800.661.9800. We’re here for you and your family, no matter what you

may be facing.

Jean-Paul Beran, M.A.

President of Focus on the Family Canada

Jean-Paul Beran is the

president of Focus on

the Family Canada.

JOSH YONG

Chief Operating

O ffi c e r

Ken Windebank

Director of Content

Operations

Kevin Shirin

Editor-in-Chief

Jesse Florea

Senior Editorial

Director

Sheila Seifert

Copy Chief

Scott DeNicola

Managing Editor

Andrea Gutierrez

Designer

Julie Vieux

THANK YOU!

Focus on the Family provides this magazine and

other resources through the generosity of friends

like you. FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Donate

Subscribe to get this magazine!

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Magazine

Focus on the Family magazine February/March 2026,

Vol. 11, No. 1 ISSN 2471-5921, © 2026 Focus on the

Family. All rights reserved. Published by Focus on the

Family, a nonprofi t organization recognized for

tax-deductible giving by the federal government.

Focus on the Family is a federally registered

trademark of Focus on the Family.

To notify us of an address change or to contact

Focus on the Family Canada: 1-800-661-9800;

19946 80A Ave, Langley, BC, V2Y 0J8; info@fotf.ca

Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are

from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English

Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a

publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV

Text Edition: 2025. The ESV text may not be quoted

in any publication made available to the public by a

Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be

translated in whole or in part into any other

language. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

IMPORTANT NOTICE! By submitting letters and

other materials, you agree 1) they become the

property of Focus on the Family and will not be

returned; 2) Focus on the Family, its assigns and

licensees, have been granted the nonexclusive right

to use and/or reproduce the materials in any manner

for any purpose. Our agreement is made in Colorado

and controlled by Colorado law.

Send author submissions to

FocusMagSubmissions@family.org.

REPRINT PERMISSION:

FocusOnTheFamily.com/Permissions

Cover Photography

iStockphoto - mixetto

Administrative

Assistant

Lennis Pugh

Circulation

Erika Gaulke

Focus Canada

Contributors

Laurisha Blackstock

Magnus Magat

Amanda Regan

Subby Szterszky

Amy Van Veen

Website references do not constitute blanket

endorsement or complete agreement by Focus on

the Family with information or resources offered at

or through those sites.

Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to:

Focus on the Family Canada, 19946 80A Avenue,

Langley, BC V2Y 0J8; 800-661-9800; info@fotf.ca;

GST# 10684 5969 RT0001

Printed in Canada.

Paper manufactured on Vancouver Island.

4

FEB / MAR 2026

MINISTRY SPOTLIGHT

Highlighting one of the many

ministries of Focus on the

Family Canada

ADOBE STOCK - BNENIN, MONKEY BUSINESS

HOST A JOURNEY TO US MARRIAGE

CONFERENCE AT YOUR CHURCH

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA’S

Journey to Us marriage experience is an interactive

event created for couples looking to strengthen their

relationship. These events provide husbands and

wives with practical tools to better navigate the ups

and downs of married life with confidence and grace.

The weekend retreats are held at our luxury centers

in Alberta, Manitoba and Ontario.

The one-day conferences are held at local churches

across the country—and we invite you to consider

hosting one at your own church!

Sign up to host a conference

and find an event near you.

JourneyToUs.ca/Host-A-Conference

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HOST

A CONFERENCE?

When you host a conference, Focus on the

Family Canada provides:

• All promotional assets including posters,

slides, web banners and more

• All management of ticket sales and event

communication

• Two trained facilitators

• Workbooks for each spouse

• PowerPoint presentation

What you as a church provide:

• Event space

• Tech support and hosts

• Refreshments and snacks*

Whether you want to find an event near you or

you’re interested in hosting a conference at your

church, you can visit JourneyToUs.ca to learn more.

*Focus on the Family Canada will reimburse up to $15/couple for refreshment costs.

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA 5

OFF THE SHELF

FIND THESE

BOOKS AND

MORE .

Shop.FocusOnTheFamily.ca

BOARD BOOKS

Otter B Kind

“Little Learner Edition”

by Pamela Kennedy and

Anne Kennedy Brady

Super Simple Alphabet &

Animals with Dr. Fizzlebop

by Brock Eastman

Super Simple Colors &

Counting with Dr. Fizzlebop

by Brock Eastman

Super Simple Space Science

with Dr. Fizzlebop

by Brock Eastman

Super Simple Weather Science

with Dr. Fizzlebop

by Brock Eastman

PICTURE BOOKS

The Easter Lamb

by John Greco

J Is for Jesus

by Alistair Begg

The Heart Who Wanted

to Be Whole

by Beth Guckenberger

Keeping the Light

by Ali Gilkeson

Good Reads for Kids

WHERE DO YOUR kids’ interests lie? What do they like doing in their free time?

Once you know, you can select worthwhile reads that complement those interests.

One way to tell if a book is the right fit is by learning why an author wrote it. Here are

insights from two authors on this issue’s list:

“As a dad of four, I’ve seen firsthand

how animals capture kids’ imaginations.

I wrote Super Simple Alphabet & Animals

with Dr. Fizzlebop to blend kids’ love for

animals with early learning concepts

and faith. Each letter introduces a new

creature and a fun science fact, helping

little ones see God’s creativity from A to

Z. It’s the book I would have liked to read

to my young kids at bedtime.”

—Brock Eastman

“Writing Keeping the Light was deeply

personal for me. Growing up by the Irish

coast, the lighthouse was my constant, a

symbol of hope through calm and storm.

I wanted to capture that feeling for children

and families, reminding them it’s

OK to be different and that our light is

meant to shine for others. This story is

my way of passing on the steadfast Truth

and Light that’s guided me home.”

—Ali Gilkeson

KIDS

Faith in the Flames

Book No. 35 in “The Imagination

Station” series

by Marianne Hering and

Marshal Younger

Abigail Gets Left Out

Book No. 3 in the “Abigail” series

by Bethany McIlrath

Keep ’Em Flying

Book No. 1 in the

“Heroes on the Home

Front Mysteries” series

by Nell Branum

The Outsider

by Katy Morgan

TEENS

The Found Boys

by S.D. Smith

The Sapphire Sword

Book No. 1 in

“The Sapphire Saga” series

by Robert L. Fuller

The Unlikely Intrusion

of Adams Klein

Book No. 1 in

“Timefall Trilogy” series

by John Greco

New Morning Mercies for Teens

by Paul David Tripp

ADOBE STOCK - АНАСТАСІЯ СТЯГАЙЛО

6

FEB / MAR 2026

Parenting

CREDIT ADOBE STOCK TK - INK DROP

“INTENTIONAL PARENTING

INFUSED WITH LOVE IS

GENUINE AND CONNECTING.”

—DR. DANNY HUERTA,

VICE PRESIDENT OF PARENTING AND YOUTH

AT FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, TAKEN FROM

SEVEN TRAITS OF EFFECTIVE PARENTING


PARENTING / AGE & STAGE

0-3

years

Which Shoe?

Teaching my children to put on

their shoes by themselves was a

challenge. To help them figure

out how to put the correct shoe

on the correct foot, I told them to

find the printed character or other

special mark on the outside of their

shoe, such as letters or a picture. (If

there were no identifying marks, I

used a permanent marker to put a

dot on the outside of each shoe.)

Then I told my toddlers to keep

those pictures as far away from

each other as possible. Soon they

put their shoes on the right feet.

—Jeannie Vogel

A SONG TO STAY WARM

I don’t want my preschoolers to forget an essential piece of clothing

on cold-weather days, so I’ve developed a fun game to help them

remember each item they need to stay safe and warm.

Using the song “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” my kids and I follow

a checklist for gathering and putting on our winter gear. We sing

together while identifying the items we need to keep warm: head (hats);

shoulders (coat); knees (snow pants); toes (boots); eyes—looking at

hands (gloves), ears (earmuffs); mouth and nose (scarf).

By the time we sing the song a few times, we’re bundled up and ready

to head outside.

—Rebecca Hansen

‘Yay, Family!’

Before heading out on trips or

after piling into our big green

chair for prayer, we’d all place our

hands on my husband’s and shout,

“One . . . two . . . three . . . yay,

family!” It’s our reminder that this

family is ours—to love and enjoy.

—Merissa Ramantanin

ADOBE STOCK - JENKOATAMAN / STEVE BJORKMAN

8

FEB / MAR 2026

AGE & STAGE / PARENTING

Super Simple Straw Rocket

For ages 3 to 8 with parental supervision

FIZZLEBOP STRAW ROCKET

Supply List

• Paper to draw a rocket, or a printout of

the free rocket coloring sheet found at

BrockEastman.com/StrawRocket

• Crayons or markers

• Larger straw with a diameter wider

than a regular drinking straw

• Scissors

• Tape

• Regular drinking straw

Directions

1. Draw or print a rocket ship.

2. Color the rocket and cut it out.

3. Cut the larger straw to the length of the

rocket and attach it to the back of the rocket

with tape, creating an opening that your

regular straw fits into.

Fizz tip: Seal the top of the straw with tape.

4. Slide a regular straw into the wider one.

5. Prepare for launch. Aim your rocket away

from people and blow through the straw.

Taken from Super Simple Space Science with Dr. Fizzlebop by Brock

Eastman, published by Focus on the Family in conjunction with

Tyndale House Publishers.

From Super Simple Space Science with Dr. Fizzlebop

ADOBE STOCK - GCAPTURE, WOJCIECH Z, PRIMEMOCKUP

SUPER SIMPLE SPACE SCIENCE

WITH DR. FIZZLEBOP

by Brock Eastman

Dr. Fizzlebop’s “Super Simple” board

books help parents introduce curious

toddlers and preschoolers to God’s

amazing creations.




Fear Alarm

Helping your kids

discern rational fears

from imagined ones

BY DR. DANNY HUERTA

AS FAR AS basements go, ours

was low on the creepiness scale—

no masonry walls or damp corners.

Still, it was an unfinished part of

the house . . . and it was dark.

Our children were scared to venture

down those stairs. When they did

go, they hurried back up, casting anxious

glances back into the darkness. At

those times, it provided a good opportunity

to help them determine if their

fears were real or imagined.

Their built-in “alarm systems” were

triggered by many different things—

storms, spiders, news reports. Fears

are a bit like a smoke alarm. The

alarm alerts us when there’s a fire.

But sometimes, there isn’t fire and the

sensitive alarm beeps anyway and we

simply need to install fresh batteries

or open some windows. Likewise,

our fear alarm often “sounds” the

same whether there’s an emergency

or we just need a fresh perspective

or a reframing . Here are two principles

to help kids better understand

their fears.

Decide what is real

Help your children focus on

reality, on the things that are true

(Philippians 4:8) and not to just

avoid what they’re afraid of.

• Bugs are a fun part of God’s

creation. While we should

avoid some of them, most are

harmless.

• Darkness helps us rest—

and lets us see the stars.

• The rain produced during

thunderstorms helps

plants grow.

• The basement is strong and

safe—someday we’ll turn it

into a fun playroom.

Fear can be helpful

Although our fears sometimes

alert us to things that may not

be dangerous, God gave us the

emotion to help us grow and make

wise and safe decisions. We avoid

scary images because they are

designed to frighten us. We move to

a safe place if a tornado or wildfire

is approaching. We stay with a

parent while out in big crowds.

The world includes some scary

situations, but we have each other—

and a plan to stay safe together and

ways to build courage as we face

fears. And that’s what our kids need

to know.

Dr. Danny Huerta is the vice president of

Parenting & Youth for Focus on the Family.

STEVE BJORKMAN

10

FEB / MAR 2026


VALENTINE’S

DAY FRIENDS

Valentine’s Day is all about romantic

love and celebrating with your “special someone.”

But as our daughter grew, we wanted to help her

focus less on the boy in the third row at school

and more on the long-lasting relationships in her

life that show her she is accepted and special.

So for a few years, we created gift boxes of chocolate-covered

strawberries and delivered them

around Valentine’s Day. As we hand-dipped the

strawberries, we talked about the important friendships

in our lives and the joy we received from giving

love to others. Later, we personally delivered the

treats to close family friends. This fun tradition gave

our daughter a sense of belonging among a community

whose love lasted long past the February

holiday.

—Janna Jones

ADOBE STOCK - VALERIE / STEVE BJORKMAN

The Practice of Choosing

To help my tweens make good decisions, I invented

a game called “Scenarios.” We discussed different

alternatives and potential outcomes. The game format

gave them freedom to experience their choices and

consequences in a safe environment and predetermine

real-life decisions without peer pressure or temptation.

One scenario addressed the issue of a new student with

special needs. The other kids teased her and anyone who

befriended her. When offered their choices, both of my

girls decided to stand up to the teasers, be kind to the girl

and even invite her to church.

Just months later, a girl who was hearing impaired

joined my daughter’s class. Immediately remembering

our game, Emily saw it as an opportunity to apply what

she had learned in a scenario. The preparation we had

done made all the difference.

—Nicole O’Dell

Honor Chores

Along with regular required chores, I added

“honor chore” to my children’s chore chart. For

their honor chore, they looked for something

that needed to be done and then did it. They

eventually tackled needed chores without being

asked, and this was one way to train them.

—Michelle Hortenberry



13-18

When Boundaries

Hinder Bonding

Rules are important, but connecting

with your teen is essential

BY JONATHAN MCKEE

“MY 17-YEAR-OLD daughter

never wants to talk with me.” The

middle-aged mom at my parenting

workshop dabbed at her eyes

with a tissue. “I don’t know what

to do.”

I listened as the mom recalled

some recent conversations with

her daughter. And here I use the

word conversations loosely.

“Did you finish your homework?”

“Did you clean your bathroom?”

“What time did you get home

last night?”

As we talked, I could see what

the problem was. This daughter

didn’t want to talk because it’s

likely that, in her mind, her mom

was acting like a parole officer

searching for malfeasance.

I had made the same mistake with

my own children. At the time, my

focus on boundaries had hindered

bonding. These two parenting objectives

often feel at odds with each

other, but they don’t have to collide.

Recognize the balance

Bonding and boundaries. Both

practices are essential, yet parents

tend to gravitate toward one or the

other. Which way do you lean?

STEVE BJORKMAN

12

FEB / MAR 2026


With my oldest specifically, I

gravitated a little too much toward

boundaries. I often acted like a

drill sergeant, barking orders and

reminders to my son. And I noticed

something: When I’d walk in the

room, he’d look nervous, as if thinking,

Now what am I doing wrong?

I had wanted to teach discipline

and responsibility. But my

laser focus on boundaries hurt our

relationship.

As parents, we must ask ourselves:

Who are our kids going to go

to when they mess up or face a moral

dilemma? Will they go to the person

who seems ready to pounce on them

every time they do wrong?

If there’s too much weight put on

boundaries, our kids won’t feel safe

to open up to us, and we’ll miss key

opportunities to teach them discernment.

Indeed, when parents have

a thin relationship with their kids,

those kids tend to glean values and

behaviors from other sources.

But the parents who bond with

their kids have more opportunities

to walk through life together, to

process challenges and decisions.

A close bond opens the doorway

to applying boundaries.



Observe when your teens

tend to open up and

engage in meaningful

conversation.

Look for natural

connections

Think for a moment about the last

time you engaged in a meaningful

conversation with your teen. What

occasion initiated and fueled that

conversation?

The answer that I hear more

than any other is the family dinner.

Dinner is one of those staple

connection points for families. But

there are many other opportunities.

As parents, we must be on

the lookout for times and places

where meaningful communication

occurs in our homes and be proactive

to seek out these venues.

Another connection point is

bedtime. One parent told me that

she’d periodically return to the

old routine of tucking her kids in

at night, even as teens. “It usually

resulted in a pleasant conversation,”

she said. “It’s like sleepiness

made them chattier than normal.”

Observe when your teens tend

to open up and engage in meaningful

conversation. How can you

create more of these opportunities

in your weekly schedule?

Say yes to

opportunities to bond

When my daughter Ashley was 18,

she asked me, “Dad, do you want

to go on a bike ride?”

Put this into perspective. This is

an 18-year-old asking her dad to

do something with her. Many parents

can count on one hand how

many times their teen has asked

them to hang out in any given

month . . . or year.

Actually, Ashley was pretty social,

and we hung out frequently. So I

hesitated. My schedule was jampacked!

I thought, Jonathan, it’s

completely reasonable for you to

say no. She’ll understand.

But I said, “Yes!”

We went on a one-hour bike

ride on a river trail a few minutes

from our house. And it was one

of the most rewarding times I’d

had with Ashley in months. We literally

talked for an hour without

interruption. We discussed movies,

music, college plans, friendships,

conflict and personality types. We

even talked about parenting.

All because I said yes.

My parenting repertoire is filled

with stories of feeling too busy

or too overwhelmed; you probably

know the feeling. We all

have valid excuses. But do you

know how much time the average

STEVE BJORKMAN

14

FEB / MAR 2026


IF I HAD A PARENTING DO-OVER

by Jonathan McKee

Jonathan, a youth culture expert,

offers practical tips to parents of teens

by sharing his parenting mishaps and

seven changes he’d make if he had

the opportunity for a do-over.


adult spends each day soaking in

entertainment media and technology?

Add it up. All your TV

time, computer time, time on your

smartphone and time spent reading

books and magazines.

I’ll speak directly here as a fellow

parent who has struggled with

this: Don’t tell me you don’t have

time. Many teens won’t ask to

hang out very often. So when they

do, slide everything aside to make

it happen.

These opportunities often come

in odd ways and at inconvenient

times. And they aren’t always fun.

Once it was my daughter Alyssa

coming in and saying with a sigh,

“Dad, want to go to the DMV with

me? I have to renew my license.”

Woo-hoo! The DMV!

She actually wasn’t even excited

to hang out with me; she just

didn’t want to go to the DMV

by herself.

I snagged the opportunity

and even asked, “How about a

smoothie on the way home?”

Make time. Even if it’s not your

favorite activity.

Take a fast from

boundaries

You might be reading this and

thinking, I’m that parent. I’m the

drill sergeant. My dialogue with my

kids typically involves checking up

on them or disciplining them.

If your scales are already

weighted completely toward

boundaries, you’re going to need

to work extra hard to reverse this

trend. You may need to start a

boundary fast. This means walking

into a room and stifling the urge

to ask your kids if they’ve finished

their homework and chores . . . and

just hanging out with them instead.

Again, boundaries are essential,

but I’m addressing parents

who are so focused on boundaries

that they rarely bond with their

kids. If that’s you, try going 24

hours without giving instructions

to your kids at all. If the damage is

really bad, you may need an entire

week. Don’t allow yourself to discipline,

correct or advise in any way.

Instead, look for opportunities to

bond and just do life together.

Maybe you don’t need a boundary

fast. Maybe you’ve already

recognized the importance of

bonding, and you want to make

sure you maximize these opportunities

while you can. If so, look for

moments of connection. Seek out

settings where bonding happens.

And if your kids never ask you

to connect, that’s all the more

reason to seek out those bonding

experiences. Take the initiative

and give your children a taste

of your full attention.

This article is adapted from If I Had a Parenting

Do-Over. Copyright © 2017 by Jonathan

McKee. Reprinted with permission of Shiloh

Run Press, an imprint of Barbour Publishing.



19+

Notes in

the Margin

How my husband

and I give Bibles with

a personal touch

BY LORI VELDKAMP

THE NEW YEAR is well underway.

If you’re anything like me, your

resolutions have either taken hold

or have fallen off the calendar by

now. But one habit of mine has

endured for more than 25 years—

not merely a to-do action item, but

a practice that has since grown into

a treasured tradition. And now my

husband, Ardean, has joined in and

we share this time together.

You might call what we do a

diary—but not a blank-pages,

locked-from-prying-eyes kind of

journal. Instead, Ardean and I write

notes on the pages of a Bible—jotting

prayers, observations and

lessons from God—in the margins.

We start with a brand-new Bible

and dedicate it solely for one person—a

family member, friend or

co-worker—and exclusively for the

year ahead. In our daily study of

God’s Word, we ask the Holy Spirit

to lead, guide and speak to us and

through us.

LIGHTSTOCK - COURTNEY KIRKLAND / ADOBE STOCK - PHOTOGUNS

16

FEB / MAR 2026


STEVE BJORKMAN

What we do

As we pray for our chosen person,

we write in the margins of the section

we’ve just studied in the Bible.

Our little notes begin as we listen

for God’s still, quiet voice and pray

for the person God has prompted us

to come alongside that year. These

notes might be a simple reassurance,

an exclamation of joy or even a spiritual

milestone we’ve witnessed.

Past recipients of our Bibles feel

blessed to receive these personalized

Bibles. And Ardean and I

also feel honored to pray for these

people and seek God’s leading for

them. All the while, He helps us

strengthen our relationship with

each person and each other.

Ardean and I do the same Bible

translation together each year

but each for a different person.

This has not only allowed us so

many opportunities for great conversations,

but it’s also helped

strengthen our marriage.

Where it began

With a daughter in high school,

I started jotting notes in a Bible

with my heart and mind set on her.

I felt inspired by God to offer words

of encouragement. Perhaps I’d jot

a comment about her senior year

of high school or what I prayed

the Lord might have in store for

her future.

In a particular truth from God’s

Word, I noted, “Remember, He

says we are to know that He is

the Lord.” My handwritten note

to her is scrawled above Exodus

29:46. And I underscored to her

that throughout God’s Word He

promises that He will never

leave nor forsake her.

Interesting conversations

My husband and I have not only

taken on this practice for our grown

children, but also for their spouses.

While I might not feel comfortable

broaching personal topics with a

son-in-law, I have found the courage

to make a note in his Bible

about what God says in the Song of

Songs. Notes are encouraging and

never reprimanding. Putting notes

in a Bible for an entire year for a

single person has opened unique

opportunities for conversations

with them as well.

This year, my husband and I have

been moved by Exodus 33:12-17.

The Lord is having a conversation

with Moses and says, “I will do the

very thing you have asked, because

I am pleased with you and I know

you by name” (verse 17, NIV). Even

though we’ve read this passage

countless times over the past 25

years, the Holy Spirit continues to

illuminate something new for us

that we can talk about.

A meaningful legacy

Now that we have grandchildren,

Ardean and I have begun the practice

of jotting down notes in Bibles for

each of them. We may hang on to the

Bible beyond that year, though, and

give it at a milestone, such as a graduation

or other life event, such as

when the child is leaving for college

or getting married. We are blessed

to be able to make notes in Bibles

for our family. This practice has

bloomed into generational gifts that

have been of value to Ardean and

me and those who receive them. My

hope is that our notes will take root

in each person’s life and bless each

one both now and in the future.

Lori Veldkamp and her husband, Ardean, have

four adult children and 17 grandchildren.



Points of Connection

Activities to do with your grandkids

BY SHEILA SEIFERT

GRANDPARENTING and painter’s tape are inseparable in my

world. The roll easily fits into a purse or glove compartment and can be

whipped out at a moment’s notice. Without leaving a permanent mark,

painter’s tape helps foster imaginative play.

“Do you want to play trucks?” I create the roads of an imaginary town

on the carpet and play with toy cars and trucks with my grandson.

“Do you want to play princesses?” Tape out, and a granddaughter and

I create the floor plans for a palace of Princess Grandchild.

“Can I use the tape?” You bet. Grandkids can make what only their

imaginations can see to my chorus of oohs and aahs.

One way my grandkids and I stick together is with tape, but here are

other ways to stay connected with grandkids:

ADOBE STOCK - WAVEBREAK3 / STEVE BJORKMAN

18

FEB / MAR 2026

Secret codes

Moments shared privately, even

when in a group, build camaraderie.

When I mentioned “ice cream”

at a family event, my granddaughter

knew I was having fun. She

responded back with “ice cream,”

which made her feel older because

of our private conversation.

For teen grandkids, code words

or body language can mean I’m

bored, get me out of here or I don’t

know what to say. When you sense

their mood, you can help them ease

out of tricky family moments using

a shared code word. Part of the fun

is their having to work your code

word—“lollygag,” “discombobulate,”

“gobbledygook”—into a sentence.

Pray for each other

Grandkids may not feel the same

connection through prayer unless

we ask how we can pray for them.

And we can tell them what they can

pray about for us. Even my young

grandkids have prayer requests.

Being involved in their everyday

concerns is a natural way to connect.

In addition, older grandkids

can become prayer warriors with

you. To get started, stop and pray

together when you hear the siren

from an emergency vehicle. Choose

a stranger in the crowd and pray for

him or her together. Text an evening

or morning praise prayer to

each other. Showing grandkids

how to go to God is priceless.

AD

Leave a

legacy of

⅓

generosity

Through our partnership

with ADVISORS with Purpose,

you can work with their will

and estate plan specialists to:

• Reduce taxes and fees

at death

• Integrate a biblical

worldview into your plan

STEVE BJORKMAN

Mail it

One of my grandkids asked her

mom, “Why did Grandma mail

this to me?” (They were living with

us at the time.) Her mother told

her that it was because I loved her.

That was enough for her.

Kids like getting letters or

magazines addressed just to them.

Older grandkids like getting mail

too, and you can add a personal

touch by including a memory of

when you were their age. Letters

are physical reminders of your

love and that you’re thinking

of them.

Never forget

Grandparenting is a form of service—an

opportunity to pour into

a future generation. Our time with

our grandkids is about showing

up, giving them our attention and

reflecting Christ’s love in everyday

moments. Through it, we get

to enjoy the beauty of building a

relationship with people who are

already special to us . . . and have

a whole lot of fun doing it.

Sheila Seifert is the editorial director of Focus on

the Family and Brio magazines, and the author

of children’s books, such as Stories of Danger

and Courage in the “Bible Kidventures” series.

• Reflect your heart and

your values

• Promote family harmony

and avoid conflict

Learn more today!

Ad Title

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Legacy

19

PARENTING / SEXUALITY

GENDER-CONFIDENT KIDS

Helping your children embrace

their God-designed, biological sex

BY SUZANNE GOSSELIN

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JULIE VIEUX

CREDIT TK

20

FEB / MAR 2026

SEXUALITY / PARENTING

AS I SAT A FEW PEWS

behind my 10-year-old daughter

at vacation Bible school, I noticed

something that concerned me. Her

friend had lifted my daughter onto

her lap and was embracing her in a

cuddle. I sidled up to the girls and

gently reminded them to stay in

their own seats. I didn’t know the

other girl’s story or what her home

life was like, and I preferred to err

on the side of caution.

Now my daughter is 13, and the

landscape is even more complicated—from

nonbinary characters

showing up on kids’ TV shows to

peers talking about issues of gender

identity. Kids are getting the message

that their feelings determine

whether they are male or female.

This misuse of the term gender

encourages kids to rely on their personal

belief of who they are instead

of relying on their God-designed,

biological sex.

Dr. Jeff Myers, president of

Summit Ministries, and Dr. Kathy

Koch, founder and president of

Celebrate Kids Inc., are respected

educators and voices for the importance

of embracing a biblical

worldview on sexuality and gender.

They offer the following strategies

to encourage parents to counter the

culture’s most confusing messages

and raise gender-confident kids.

Engage in conversation

Don’t shy away from talking about

issues surrounding sexuality. Dr.

Koch recommends that parents listen

with the goal of understanding.

When moments of gender confusion

arise, parents might uncover

that their child was teased or faced

peer pressure to conform. Perhaps

their child was scrolling social

media or listening to inappropriate

song lyrics.

“We must be open to the conversation,

or they will talk to someone

else,” Dr. Koch says. If Mom and

Dad don’t want to talk about this

kind of tough stuff, she says, children

may ask Chat GPT, Gemini or

Copilot. These platforms will not

give biblically appropriate advice.

Kids get this important information

from strangers, people who programmed

these AI tools.

If your child brings up a shocking

topic, Dr. Koch suggests staying

calm and asking for more information.

You might ask, “Where is

this idea coming from?” or “What

makes you think this is true?” You

might also say, “Tell me more.”

Dr. Myers suggests inviting conversations

using the acronym CUE:

• Curious — “I’m curious about

what you have to say.”

• Understand — “I understand.

I’ve been through confusing

things myself.”

• Envision — To your son: “I envision

a future for you where you

become a man after God’s own

heart.” To your daughter: “I envision

a future for you where you

become a woman after God’s

own heart.”

A lot happens during adolescence.

A child can think, I’m

uncomfortable in my body. But Dr.

Myers explains that the child may

not realize that every single person

who’s ever gone through puberty

has felt uncomfortable in his body.

Parents can assure their children

that they aren’t alone in feeling

inner struggles. They are still God’s

beloved and a specially designed

son or daughter.



Guide attitude

Dr. Koch urges parents to guide

their children’s attitudes as they

face the typical awkwardness of

puberty. She says that many young

people go through a stage where

they feel too tall or too short. “They

may not like their body, hair or

acne,” Dr. Koch says. “And they

may think, If I change genders,

everything will be well. That’s a lie.

Parents must help their kids change

their attitudes toward things that

cannot be changed, such as their

height, features and biological sex.”

Andrea was a typical teenage girl

with frizzy hair, glasses and braces.

She compared herself to the petite,

blond cheerleader at her church

and felt she didn’t measure up. Her

mentor wisely told her, “Someday

you’re going to figure out what to

do with your hair, you’re going to

get contacts, and you’re going to

lose the braces. But what you are

developing right now, your character,

that’s forever.” By pointing

Andrea to the big picture of God’s

plan for her, her mentor downplayed

a temporary season of

awkwardness.

Avoid stereotypes

“We can teach our children that

they don’t have to match up with

culture’s stereotypes for men and

women,” Dr. Myers says. “Gender

isn’t something you have to

become; it’s something God

designed you with. They can be

confident in that design. When they

feel uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean

their bodies are somehow wrong.”

Dr. Myers has seen firsthand the

heartbreak families are facing.

The goal of Summit Ministries, he

explains, is to equip parents to

respond with truth, but to do so

with love and point their children

to who God designed them to be.

He tells the story of a student who

came to Summit Ministries convinced

that she was a boy trapped

in a girl’s body. She had been told

this by her peers and social media,

and she had begun taking male

hormones. During her time at

Summit, she realized that it was her

own perceptions of other women

being like Barbie dolls that she had

failed to identify with. She was able

to recognize, God made me a girl,

and I’m not like other girls. I’m me.

God made me to be me. As a result,

the young woman committed to

not trying to become something

FOTF - SALLY DUNN

22

FEB / MAR 2026

AD

PRESENTS

⅓

WATCH NOW!

In God’s Image video series

Through honest conversations and Scripture,

this free series explores what it means to be

made in God’s image, helping you navigate

identity, sexuality, relationships, shame and

healing through the good news of Jesus.

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/InGodsImage

other than the person God had created

her to be.

Dr. Myers suggests guiding children

in figuring out what makes

them unique. Ask:

• What gifts has God given you?

• What do you enjoy so much

that you lose track of time

while doing it?

• What do other people say you’re

good at?

He says, “These questions can

help children discover their identities

and gain confidence in who

God has created them to be.”

Dr. Koch recommends offering

your kids a variety of role models.

“If your son loves art, introduce him

to a man who is an artist or graphic

designer. If your daughter has an

interest in math, connect her with a

female engineer.”

Teach truth

Christian parents must teach scriptural

truths to their children—that

God created two genders, male

and female, to reflect His image.

Culture says it’s OK to declare that

you’re different physically, mentally

and emotionally from how

you were born. However, this path

that encourages feelings counter to

God’s design for sexuality inevitably

leads to harmful outcomes.

Dr. Koch says that young people

are bombarded with lies from every

direction about their sexuality—

social media, peers and educators.

She continues, “Parents anchored

in truth can guide their children to

flourish in how God uniquely created

them.” There are also hard

truths about the downsides of transitioning.

“You can’t change an

Seasons 1-4 Bundle

(Streaming videos)

Explore what it meant to be

a disciple in Jesus’ time, and

how Jesus works through

His disciples today.

Ad Title

NOW $

87 .50

Value $174.99

Scan, shop and save

23


emotional problem with a physical solution,” she says. “There

are painful physical and mental consequences to transitioning.

We need to give our children the facts.”

Rebelling against God’s design has given a misshapen view

of gender as being separate from a child’s biological sex. Dr.

Myers adds that God made people different so they harmonize.

“If you think about the body, it would be awkward if all the

limbs were a leg. Alone, each part might be awkward. Together,

they are graceful,” he says. “God made boys and girls, men and

women to harmonize with each other and make the world a

better place.”

As I guide my daughter through the complex terrain of confusing

cultural messages about her sexuality, I intend to stand

firm in the truth of Scripture and remain available for tough

conversations. As we talk, I want to stay curious, seek to understand

her experiences and continue to envision a future where

she thrives as the woman God designed her to be. This, I hope,

will help provide the support she needs as she navigates the

ups and downs of puberty.

Suzanne Gosselin is a wife, mom and freelance writer.

The topic of gender identity and specifically gender dysphoria is complex

and requires a thoughtful, compassionate response. If you and

your family have questions or would like help in this area, Focus on

the Family Canada offers a one-time, complimentary counseling consultation

from a Christian perspective. To book an appointment, call

1-800-661-9800 weekdays between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. Pacific time.

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Help

GUIDING

YOUR GENDER-

CONFUSED

CHILD

Dr. Myers offers four suggestions:

Improve the relationship with the samegender

parent. If this isn’t possible, help

your child foster a healthy relationship

with an adult of the same gender, such as

a youth leader, teacher, grandparent or

coach. Provide your child with someone

who demonstrates what it looks like to be

a Christian man or a woman.

Remove them from the situation if

they’re being victimized. The way

sexuality is taught in some schools today

gives aggressive students a license to

victimize their peers. Get your child out

of harmful places even if this means

relocating, homeschooling or enrolling

your student in a different school.

Get social media under control. The

power of suggestion can be overwhelming

if any of your children are anxious or

depressed. They might believe the lies

because their defenses are weak. Limit

phone use to public areas, such as the

kitchen table. Prime your kids to talk with

you about something shocking or confusing

that comes up.

Seek professional guidance from a

Christian counselor. If trauma has

occurred, a trained Christian counselor

can engage your child in trauma therapy.

Therapy can equip children to establish

good boundaries and resist being

groomed. They can feel empowered to

cope with anxiety, depression or other

mental health struggles.

—S.G.

God created mankind

in his own image,

in the image of God he

created them; male and

female he created them.

–Genesis 1:27

FOTF - SALLY DUNN

24

FEB / MAR 2026

PODCAST / PARENTING

Interview with

Jason Weening

For today’s episode, it’s our pleasure to introduce

Jason Weening. Jason and his wife, Alli, have been

married for 20 years and are blessed with 10 children.

He speaks to dads and moms encouraging them to

be intentional in their most important organization—

their family!

Simple Ways You Can Spend More

Time With Your Children

EPISODE 29

CREDIT TK

JASON: In the conversations

I have with dads, that is the question:

How do you make time for

everyone?

I ran this morning with two

9-year-olds, an 11-year-old and

a 13-year-old. I’ve done a couple

of Tough Mudder races with my

Check out season three of this

podcast featuring authentic

Canadian conversations. This

space—where faith, family and

culture intersect—is available

on Focus on the Family

Canada’s free mobile app, on

our website and wherever

you get your podcasts!

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Podcast


teenage daughters. I love it as my

kids are getting older that things

that bring me life and energy, I can

now invite my children to join.

And some of them don’t like

running, so music is another way

that we connect. Someone told me

if you have instruments in your

house, someone will maybe pick

it up, so before anyone played the

guitar, we got a guitar and we had

a piano in the house. I’ve gone to a

video conference and brought my

teenage daughter who’s interested

in learning about videography.

Deuteronomy 6 talks about

loving the Lord your God with

all your heart, soul, mind and

strength, and then talk about it

when you wake up, when go to

sleep, when you walk by the way,

when you sit down, when you rise

up. This is not going to an event

once a year with our family. No,

this is every single day.

Listen to this full episode

of Focus on the Family

Canada’s new podcast,

The Thriving Family.

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/

Podcast

Apple Podcasts Amazon Music YouTube

CREDIT TK


PARENTING / MEDIA

For reviews of the titles below

and other movies and TV shows, visit

PluggedIn.com, a Focus on the Family

media review and discernment website.

You can also read about Screen Fast 2026.

‘DAD GOT SCAMMED’

BY ADAM HOLZ

THE CAT IN THE HAT

Does this wild

twist on the classic

Dr. Seuss book take

things too far?

SCHEDULED RELEASE:

FEB. 27

YOU’VE PROBABLY HEARD about people who were

victims of phishing—the criminal practice of gaining access to

financial accounts or coaxing payments out of unsuspecting targets

via seemingly legitimate communication. We want to equip

our kids to recognize this trend, of course. And sometimes, the

most memorable lessons come from sharing “teachable moments”

drawn out of our own experiences.

Recently, I had one such incident. It came via a phone call that

my caller ID identified as customer support from my phone company.

I was informed that someone allegedly charged two iPads

to my account, and the company needed my help to cancel the

transaction. The thing is, the call was not from my phone company.

These criminals knew exactly how the real company’s customer

service worked, and I ended up enabling the fraudulent transaction.

The experience proved expensive and embarrassing.

So how can we protect our families from phishing scams?

No matter how legitimate a phone call, email or text seems, never

respond directly to unsolicited communication. Instead, always

contact customer service yourself and initiate inquiries about

fraudulent activity.

It’s a simple rule; one that I violated in a distracted moment. But

lessons were learned that day. In the future, my children’s memory

of “the time Dad got scammed” will likely strengthen their own

awareness of phishing and hopefully keep them from falling for

similar schemes.

Adam Holz is an editor for Plugged In and a contributing author to Becoming a

Screen-Savvy Family: How to navigate a media-saturated world—and why we should.

HOPPERS

Can Mabel uncover animal mysteries by placing

her consciousness into a robotic beaver?

SCHEDULED RELEASE:

MARCH 6

THE BREADWINNER

After his wife lands

a “Shark Tank”

deal, will Nate

Bargatze adjust

to his new role as a

stay-at-home dad?

SCHEDULED RELEASE:

MARCH 13

ADOBE STOCK - TETE_ESCAPE / IMDB

26

FEB / MAR 2026

Marriage

CREDIT ADOBE STOCK TK - MAHEMUD

“YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE

WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO

READ EACH OTHER’S MINDS;

HOWEVER, YOU CAN KNOW

AND BE KNOWN INTIMATELY.”

—DR. GREG SMALLEY,

VICE PRESIDENT OF MARRIAGE AT

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, TAKEN FROM

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED MARRIAGE


MARRIAGE / NEWLYWED

What We Wish

We Knew

Advice from married couples

to their newlywed selves

BY FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA

28

FEB / MAR 2026

NEWLYWED / MARRIAGE

ONE OF THE SIGNS of a healthy couple is an openness

and desire to continually learn more—more about themselves,

more about each other and more about how to make their

marriage everything God intended it to be.

For newlyweds, however, most of their learning lies ahead

of them. They can’t look back on years of experience, but

hopefully they can seek the wisdom of godly couples who

have been together longer than they have.

You may have a couple in your life who can mentor you,

teach you and guide you along the road ahead. If you don’t—

or even if you have already sought help from those who have

been there—we want to help get you started.

While every couple is unique and you’ll learn what you

and your spouse need to prioritize in order to thrive in your

marriage, the following couples share some valuable wisdom

that only comes with experience.

Couples were asked one simple question: What is something

you wish you’d known when you first got married?

From communicating to prayer, personality differences to

finances, we hope the following advice will give you and your

spouse a head start in your relationship.

ADOBE STOCK - MAVOIMAGES

Getting on the same page

“As much as it sounds like a cliché, it’s all about communication

early on. I think it’s of vital importance to talk

especially about expectations for your future life together.

A lot of conflict comes from the fact that spouses are not

‘on the same page,’ even when it comes to really big issues

like children. Do we want to have children? If so, how

many? What would that look like, who stays at home with

them, or do both spouses work? When would be the ‘ideal

time’ to start a family? Where would we live? Would we try

to buy an acreage in the country, or would we rather rent

an apartment in the hustle and bustle of the city? What

would dream vacations look like? Roughing it in the back

country or five-star hotels at the Mayan Riviera? The more

spouses communicate about these expectations, the fewer

arguments they will likely have in the future.”

—Terry and his wife, Sharon,

have been married 18 years


MARRIAGE / NEWLYWED

Praying for your spouse

“My advice to my newlywed self would be

to pray with—and pray for—your husband

regularly. This will help you stay united in

times when things get hard. It’s hard to stay

mad at your husband when you are praying

for and praying with him. Also remember

to go on regular dates with your husband.

Over the years, we let life take over with

kids, work, aging parents, etc., and rarely

went on any dates. Recently we took our first

holiday without the kids since they were

born (they’re now 16 and 12!) and it was

such a blessing to reconnect and focus on

each other! I realized how I missed my husband,

how much fun he was/is and how we

need to make time for each other on a regular

basis. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It

could be as small as going for coffee or going

for a walk together. Ultimately, a good marriage

requires continuous work, effort, care

and prayers.”

—Lynn and her husband, Jerry,

have been married for nearly 19 years

Learning to communicate

“I wish I had known more about communication

between spouses when I got married.

Communication seems like a basic skill that

we have all developed by the time we get married.

But when you get married it’s important to

step back and talk through how you communicate.

The families we grow up in play a big part in

how we communicate and respond to situations.

Taking time to talk about how each of your families

dealt with emotions, like joy, sorrow, anger,

etc., will help give you insight into how your

spouse will respond in these situations. It’s too

easy to take for granted the way you’re used to

responding and expect your spouse to respond

the same way, which can quickly cause confusion

and hurt if your spouse doesn’t respond

the way you expect. Even something like a simple

personality test can provide a springboard for

this sort of discussion.”

—Jake and his wife, Rose,

have been married for nearly 8 years

ADOBE STOCK - MAVOIMAGES

30

FEB / MAR 2026

NEWLYWED / MARRIAGE

Being sensitive with feedback

“Your spouse is much more vulnerable to criticism

than you think. And even when you think

you’re being clear, your spouse will often hear a

different message than the one you’re conveying.

When you’re trying to tell him he’s being annoying,

he may be hearing, ‘You’re incompetent,’ or

some other negative message he internalized

as a child. What’s deceptive about criticism is

that your spouse may absorb it without much

reaction; only much later do you realize you’ve

caused a lot of hurt. It’s also good to know that

your spouse isn’t responsible to fix how you feel.

Because he loves you, he wants to make you feel

better about the bad day you just had, or whatever

is bothering you, but ultimately you are

responsible to deal with your negative feelings

yourself, and to get your emotions under control.

Always be the very best version of yourself that

you can be whenever you are with your spouse.”

—Judy and her husband, Tom,

have been married 32 years

Identifying financial backgrounds

“Understanding how your spouse thinks about

money can be really helpful. Coming from

an affluent family, I tended to see money as

a plentiful resource. I didn’t understand my

spouse’s anxiety about finances until I realized

her family background led her to see it as a

limited resource. Instead of working on our

finances on my own, we began working with a

financial planner as a couple. That helped my

wife see that, Lord willing, we had a reasonable

savings plan in place for our future. Taking

away that anxiety for her reduced a lot of

tension in our marriage around finances.”

—Geoff and his wife, Carrie,

have been married for over 30 years

All names changed to protect privacy

© 2019 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights

reserved.


Anything in this .25inch zone is not guaranteed safe from being trimmed off.

SAFETY VIOLATION ZONE copy in this zone not safe per trim variance (.25 inch).

Ad Title

Lee

Hardin

COMING

AD

TO CITIES

FPO

ACROSS

CANADA THIS FEBRUARY

Full Page

TRIM: 7.75 x 10.5 inch

Monique

Bellamy

Daren

Streblow

32

Find an EN event

near you


DateNight

SAVE $5

by using the

promo code*

FOTF26DNT

*Offer limited to 100 redemptions per market.

PODCAST / MARRIAGE

Interview with

Arlene Pellicane

In today’s episode, we have the joy of introducing

Arlene Pellicane. Arlene is a speaker, host of the Happy

Home podcast, and author of several books including

Parents Rising, Making Marriage Easier and Screen

Kids. Arlene and her husband, James, have three

children and live in San Diego.

The Importance of Humility and

Servant-Heartedness in Marriage

EPISODE 37

CREDIT TK

ARLENE: I have found just this

very short habit of getting on my

knees within the first five minutes

of waking up and saying, “God, I’m

asking for Your help.” And then as

you stand up and walk forward,

you are in faith saying, “Lord, now












I am expecting You’re going to

help me.” And that position says,

“I’m open to change.” Our part is

the only part we can work on.

Something I talk about in my

book Making Marriage Easier is

that one of the things that really

helps is if you ask your spouse,

“How can I help you today?”

And this isn’t about being a

doormat. This isn’t about losing

yourself. This isn’t about letting

someone walk all over you. This

is about your attitude of, “Is there

anything I can do to make your

life easier today?” It’s the heart

posture of, “How can I help you

today?”

Because when you got married,

you weren’t thinking, Let me be as

selfish as I can my whole life with

this person. No! You were like, I love

you. I’m for you. I want to help you.

So, keep that alive in marriage.






Podcast


CREDIT TK


MARRIAGE / DATE NIGHT

‘It Ends With Kissing’

The benefits of dating your spouse

BY DR. GREG SMALLEY

SEVERAL YEARS AGO, my son, Garrison,

reminded me of the importance of dating my wife,

Erin. I was trying to usher Erin out the door for a date.

Unfortunately, our youngest daughter, Annie, who

was 4 at the time, didn’t want Mommy to leave. Annie

wrapped herself around Erin’s leg. Garrison, who was

10, stepped in.

“Don’t worry,” he explained to Annie. “We need to let

Mom and Dad go out on their date.”

“But why?” Annie asked.

I’ll never forget his answer: “This is what Mom and

Dad do to keep their marriage strong.”

Annie seemed to accept his explanation, and then

she asked, “What do they do on their date?”

“I have no idea,” Garrison said, looking confused,

“but I think it ends with kissing.”

When a couple spends time alone each week, their

levels of happiness, positive communication and sexual

satisfaction are more than three times higher than

those who don’t spend that time together. That means

34

FEB / MAR 2026

DATE NIGHT / MARRIAGE

LISTEN NOW!

Jay and Laura Laffoon encourage

married couples to schedule regular

date nights. Your time together need

not be fancy or expensive but simply

a time to talk, share dreams and have

some fun together with no distractions.

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Radio

ALL THE WAYS

I LOVE YOU

What are the little things

you love about your

spouse that you don’t

often share aloud?

Valentine’s Day might be

the perfect time to offer

him or her a glimpse

into your heart. Whether

you’re on a date or relaxing

at home, here are a

few conversation starters

for opening up about the

little moments that mean

so much.

ADOBE STOCK - TUNEDIN

you might be able to dramatically

increase these important areas of

your marriage by simply dating

your wife.

Date night is a fantastic way to

make sure you and your wife are

connecting positively and enjoying

each other’s company on a regular

basis. It doesn’t have to be expensive

or elaborate. But it’s going to

take time, effort and planning.

The key to a great date is to

make sure you don’t administrate

your marriage when

you go out—don’t have conversations

about finances,

household responsibilities,

problems with the kids or sensitive

issues. You need to talk

about these things, but not

during a date. Date night is

about enjoying each other.

A great date night will feature

playfulness and laughter.

Ask your wife questions to

update your knowledge of her.

Reminisce by retelling some of

your favorite marriage stories.

Talking about your memorable

events allows you to celebrate

how far you’ve come as a couple

and provides hope as you

anticipate future good times

together.

Dr. Greg Smalley is the vice president of

Marriage and Family Formation at Focus

on the Family.

1. I am grateful you truly see me.

I feel really loved when you . . .

2. Thanks for bringing out the best

in me. When we’re together, I . . .

3. I love the way you make me

laugh. My favorite funny

memory is when we . . .

4. You look attractive today.

I especially like when you . . .

5. My favorite part of the day is

when we can be alone. I most

treasure . . .

6. I appreciate all the ways you

take care of me. I admire your

ability to . . .

7. When we first met, I first

noticed. . . . It’s still one of your

best features.

8. You make me feel safe to share

what’s on my heart. Thanks

for always listening, especially

when . . .

9. I love talking about our future.

I’m most excited about . . .

10. I love you. And I am so glad we

get to share our lives together.

Thanks for . . .

—G.S.


MARRIAGE / CONNECTION

OPPOSITES

IN CLOSE

QUARTERS

Embarking on an adventure

and learning about my

spouse all over again

BY JANE DALY

ILLUSTRATIONS BY STUART HOLMES

“LET’S SELL EVERYTHING and buy a

motor home!” My husband, Mike’s, announcement

came out of the blue—sort of. We’d talked

about our plans for retirement, including traveling

the country in a motor home. But those

plans stayed on a high shelf, out of reach, when

my parents needed help with driving, shopping,

cleaning and cooking. My husband and I had

slid into the role of caregivers.

ADOBE STOCK - ASADULLAH

36

FEB / MAR 2026

CONNECTION / MARRIAGE

I wonder if it’s possible for

two opposites to live peaceably

in such a small space


After Dad passed, Mom’s health

and physical abilities declined to

the point where we moved in with

her. After Mom died, our plans

changed again, including a move to

a different state to be

close to our daughter’s family.

Then, during COVID-19 lockdowns,

our daughter and her family moved

across the country to a state that

allowed the kids to attend school

on campus. When Mike reminded

me of our years-old desire to

travel, I was all in.

Within five months, we’d sold our

home and bought a Class A motor

home. We were on the road! It was

exciting to finally do what we’d

talked about so long ago—until

reality crashed into expectations.

Mike had partially retired a couple

of years before I did. Until that

moment, we hadn’t experienced

living and breathing together

24/7. And now we were confined

to a 400-square foot metal tube. It

could have been the end of our

45-year marriage. We’d survived

cancer (mine), the empty nest, the

death of our son and my parents’

deaths. Would this lifestyle be the

end of us?

Here are some lessons I’ve

learned as we’ve ventured into this

unchartered territory of retirement,

constant travel and close quarters.

Recognize our

differences

My husband is an over-the-top

extrovert, an outgoing sanguine

who makes friends with everyone.

And I’m a crowd-avoiding introvert,

a one-person-at-a-time kind of

gal. I need quiet and personal space

to recharge. Sometimes I wonder

if it’s possible for two opposites to

live peaceably in such a small space.

Romans 12:18 says it this way, “If

possible, so far as it depends on you,

live peaceably with all.”

This means me letting Mike be

Mike. He talks from the moment his

eyes pop open in the morning until

he falls asleep at night. When I let

him talk, even if he is muttering to

himself, he’s the same man I fell in

love with nearly a half-century ago.

In return, Mike knows there are

times he needs to get out of the rig

and let me have total silence.

Keep casual

I’ve learned that maintaining a

sense of humor can ease tensions

when life on the road gets hard.

These low moments help me to

stay humble when . . .

• I’m the navigator and Mike

doesn’t respond to direction.

• the black water tank splashes

on my shoes because we didn’t

tighten the hose securely.

• the GPS instructs us to take a

one-lane road and tree branches

brush the side of the rig. (It’s

downright scary.)

• we’re constantly adjusting to

the steep learning curve of motor

home maintenance, set up, take

down and securing movable

items before travel.


RESTORE HOPE

for YOUR MARRIAGE

A biblically based

program to restore and

rebuild your marriage

Call us today

to find out more

1.833.999.HOPE (4673)

HopeRestoredCanada.ca

Stay emotionally flexible

When Mike is frustrated with me

for forgetting to close a drawer all

the way, and it slides open when

he makes a turn, my response to

him can be defensive: “You forget

stuff too!” Or it can be apologetic:

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember next

time.” I have to keep Proverbs 15:1

in mind and remember that

“a soft answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

LISTEN NOW!

Author Melanie Shankle offers a

humorous look at the differences

between men and women, and explains

how couples can work through those

differences to strengthen their marriage.

FocusOnTheFamily.ca/Radio

Connect spiritually

There have been times when God is

doing a work in my life, and it was

painful. My temptation is to keep

it to myself. But if I don’t talk to my

husband about what the Lord is

showing me in His Word, he can’t

pray for me. The same holds true

for him. We are intentional to pray

together for our friends across

the country, as well as visiting a

church each Sunday, despite being

on the road. We’ve heard powerful

messages from pastors along the

way, and they’ve given us much to

talk about.

So if you and your spouse are

opposites and find yourself living

your retirement years in a tiny

apartment, a one-room retirement

home, a 400-square foot RV

or simply living in your lifelong

home—life can be challenging,

exciting and an adventure.

Jane Daly is a book author, columnist and a

speaker who addresses caregiving, finances

and spiritual growth.


Faith

“THREE THINGS WILL

LAST FOREVER—FAITH,

HOPE, AND LOVE—

AND THE GREATEST

OF THESE IS LOVE.”

—1 CORINTHIANS 13:13, NLT

ADOBE STOCK - AZURITA


FAITH / LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

Love and Friendship

Stories from Scripture that show

different facets of love

BY SUBBY SZTERSZKY

LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, connection,

belonging—as beings created by God in

His image, these are among the core characteristics

that make us human. Even

more than food and shelter, they are integral

to our thriving and to our existence.

Throughout our history, we’ve celebrated

them in art, story and song.

We’ve not celebrated them equally,

however. Romantic love tends to take center

stage, which isn’t surprising, given that

God designed the union between a man

and a woman to be the most intimate

expression of love. When we think of love,

our default leans toward romance or sexual

intimacy.

The Scriptures, by contrast, offer a fuller

and richer portrait of love. Romance and

sexual intimacy are a part of the picture,

but they’re not central. They’re just one

of the diverse facets of love, all of them

beautiful gifts from God, reflections of His

image in us and expressed, as we might

expect, through story and song.

ADOBE STOCK - STRANGER MAN, ANASTASIIA HEVKO

40

FEB / MAR 2026

LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP / FAITH

ADOBE STOCK - STRANGER MAN

Ruth and Naomi

“But Ruth said, ‘Do not urge me to

leave you or to return from following

you. For where you go I will go,

and where you lodge I will lodge.

Your people shall be my people, and

your God my God. Where you die I

will die, and there will I be buried.

May the LORD do so to me and more

also if anything but death parts me

from you.’ ” (Ruth 1:16-17)

The overarching theme of the

story of Ruth is expressed by the

Hebrew word hesed, which means

kindness, compassion and faithful

love. On one level, it’s a beautiful,

romantic account of Ruth meeting

and marrying Boaz, the two thus

becoming ancestors of David, and

of Jesus. The heart of the narrative,

however, is about Ruth’s hesed—her

loyal love and care for her motherin-law

Naomi.

Despite being a stranger in

a strange land, with practically

no resources or prospects, Ruth

remained faithful to her promise.

As a young woman in her

prime, she worked with tireless

energy to provide for the physical

and emotional needs of her aging

mother-in-law. In the end, the local

women described Ruth to Naomi as

“your daughter-in-law, who loves

you and is better to you than seven

sons” (Ruth 4:15).

Hannah and Samuel

“Early the next morning they arose

and worshiped before the LORD and

then went back to their home at

Ramah. Elkanah made love to his

wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered

her. So in the course of time

Hannah became pregnant and

gave birth to a son. She named him

Samuel, saying, ‘Because I asked

the LORD for him.’ ” (1 Samuel 1:19-

20, NIV)

Although Hannah lived more

than 3,000 years ago, her experience

resonates with many women

(and men) throughout the ages—

the heartbreak of not being able

to have children. She poured out

her tears and prayers to God for a

son, whom she promised to dedicate

to the Lord’s service. God

heard her prayer, and she named

her baby boy Samuel in thanks and

remembrance.

True to her word, Hannah brought

her son to stay with Eli the priest at

Shiloh, to serve in the Lord’s sanctuary

there. Each year, she would

make Samuel a little robe and bring

it to him when she and her husband

came for the annual sacrifice. At the

birth of her son, Hannah had sung a

prayer of joy and praise, a song that

would be echoed a thousand years

later by Mary as she awaited the

birth of her son Jesus (1 Samuel 2:1-

10; Luke 1:46-55).

David and Jonathan

“After David had finished talking

with Saul, Jonathan became one in

spirit with David, and he loved him

as himself. . . . And Jonathan made

a covenant with David because he

loved him as himself. Jonathan took

off the robe he was wearing and gave

it to David, along with his tunic, and

even his sword, his bow and his belt.”

(1 Samuel 18:1,3-4, NIV)

Kindred spirits. Friends for life.

These are the modern expressions

we might use to describe

the relationship between David

and Jonathan. In the language

of the Bible, their souls were knit

Love, friendship,

connection,

belonging are

among the core

characteristics that

make us human.


FAITH / LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

together, and each loved the other

more than himself. Being the son

of Saul, David’s inveterate enemy,

put Jonathan in a risky position.

Nevertheless, he supported and

shielded David from his father’s

wrath and strengthened David’s

faith in the Lord.

Elsewhere, the Bible speaks of

“a friend who sticks closer than a

brother” (Proverbs 18:24). This kind

of loyal, intimate friendship was

valued more highly than romance

in the ancient world, and even into

the early modern era. Given the

entire scope of God’s grand narrative

of redemption, it can be argued

that the same emphasis is true in

the Scriptures.

Solomon and his bride

“How beautiful you are, my darling!

Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are

doves. How handsome you are, my

beloved! Oh, how charming! And

our bed is verdant. The beams of our

house are cedars; our rafters are firs.”

(Song of Songs 1:15-17, NIV)

Naturally, romantic love also has

its place of honor in God’s good

design for humanity. Nowhere in

Scripture is this more evident than

in the Song of Songs, extolling the

physical and emotional attraction

between the youthful King

Solomon and his anonymous

bride. The poetry drips with imagery

of gardens and fruits and spices,

evoking the young couple’s mutual

desire and longing to consummate

their marriage.

While the Song can be read as

a metaphor of God’s love for His

people, it is also an ode to physical

love—but not without boundaries.

This good gift of God is reserved

for the marriage bed, to be enjoyed

by husband and wife. As the bride

warns her friends, “Daughters of

Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not

arouse or awaken love until it so

desires.” (Song of Songs 8:4, NIV).

Jesus, Martha, Mary and

Lazarus

“As Jesus and his disciples were on

their way, he came to a village

where a woman named Martha

opened her home to him. She had

a sister called Mary, who sat at the

Lord’s feet listening to what he said.

But Martha was distracted by all the

preparations that had to be made.

She came to him and asked, ‘Lord,

don’t you care that my sister has left

me to do the work by myself? Tell

her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’

the Lord answered, ‘you are worried

and upset about many things, but

few things are needed—or indeed

only one. Mary has chosen what is

better, and it will not be taken away

from her.’ ”(Luke 10:38-42, NIV)

Along with the twelve apostles,

Martha, Mary and Lazarus were

among Jesus’ closest and most intimate

friends. The three of them

were unmarried siblings who lived

together in the village of Bethany

outside Jerusalem. Martha was the

eldest and head of the household,

assisted by her sister Mary, who

studied at the Lord’s feet, an honor

most rabbis reserved for men. Their

younger brother, Lazarus, whom

Jesus raised from the dead, is silent

in the accounts, suggesting he

could have been either a minor or

perhaps a young man with special

needs (John 12:1-7).


42

FEB / MAR 2026

LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP / FAITH


When Lazarus was ill, the sisters

sent for Jesus, and when their

brother died, they brought their

grief to the Lord, each in her own

way. Before raising Lazarus, Jesus

comforted each sister in the way

she needed. He assured Martha

that He was the resurrection and

the life. With Mary, He simply wept

(John 11:1-44).

There is an undeniable warmth

and familiarity between Jesus and

these three siblings. Their relationship

is one of the most beautiful

and heartwarming portraits of

friendship in the Scriptures. It’s a

demonstration of the high value

Jesus places on friendship as an

expression of love.

God and his people

“Greater love has no one than this: to

lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

You are my friends if you do what I

command. I no longer call you servants,

because a servant does not

know his master’s business. Instead,

I have called you friends, for everything

that I learned from my Father

I have made known to you. You did

not choose me, but I chose you and

appointed you so that you might go

and bear fruit—fruit that will last—

and so that whatever you ask in

my name the Father will give you.”

(John 15:13-16, NIV)

John begins his account of Jesus’

final hours before His arrest by

stating that Jesus loved His own

to the end (John 13:1). He then

spends five chapters unpacking

Jesus’ lengthy discourse on love to

His disciples. At the heart of this

address, Jesus defines the greatest

love as laying down one’s life for

one’s friends—which He was about

to do. He assures His disciples that

they are His friends, whom He has

chosen and to whom He has confided

the Father’s will. The Lord also

stresses that if they truly love Him,

they will keep His commands.

This definition of love is one of

the main threads running through

the length of Scripture. From

beginning to end, God shows His

gracious, faithful love (hesed) to

ungrateful, unfaithful sinners—

like each of us (Exodus 34:6-7;

Psalm 136; Lamentations 3:22-24).

Because of His infinite, eternal love,

He sent His Son to give His life so

that we might live as His daughters

and sons—as His friends—forever

(John 3:14-17; Romans 5:1-11;

Romans 8:12-17; 1 Corinthians

15:1-8; Galatians 4:1-7; Ephesians

1:3-14; 1 John 3:1-3; Revelation

21:1-4).

Every genuine form of love,

appropriately expressed, is a gift

from God to us, intended to point

us to Him as its source. As His

image bearers, we’re designed to

give, receive and appreciate love in

all its facets. Each facet—intimacy

between a husband and a wife; love

of a mother for her child; care for

an aging parent; affection between

close friends—reflects some aspect

of God’s love. In a culture obsessed

with sexuality as an identity marker,

we can know our identity is in

Christ’s love for us and display that

love in all our relationships.

Subby Szterszky is the managing editor of

Focus on Faith and Culture, an e-newsletter

produced by Focus on the Family Canada.

© 2025 Focus on the Family (Canada)

Association. All rights reserved.

As His image

bearers, we’re

designed to

give, receive and

appreciate love in

all its facets.


FAITH / ADVENT PODCAST

Learning the Sabbath:

One Mom’s Story

For this episode, we have the joy of introducing Dede

Nicholson, a team member at Focus on the Family

Canada. Dede shares her journey of rediscovering

the importance of the Sabbath and how she truly

experienced God’s rest as a busy mother.

Learning the Sabbath:

One Mom’s Story

EPISODE 34

NOW, I intentionally carve out

time and plan where I can be still

and know that He is God.

I pray, I worship, and I write

in my gratitude or prayer journal.

There may be a special outing,

or not; time may be spent with












people. I may go to church. I might

read or write. It might include

serving others. I may spend time

in nature, like a walk in the woods

or an afternoon at the beach. There

may be cooking, or maybe eating

out. No rules.

However, there is no prepping

and planning for the week ahead

during this time. There are no

shoulds—nothing that drains or

sucks the life out of me.

There may be surprises, or unexpected

things, but there are no

distractions. I love my Sabbath,

and I’m very protective of it.

What happens during my

Sabbath varies from week to

week—depending on how I feel led

to plan, what is needed and what

God knows I need. But my Sabbath

is always a time of rest, of being

filled, and of doing and receiving

life-giving things.






Podcast


CREDIT TK

ILLUSTRTAIONX - DÉBORA ISLAS


MY CANADIAN FAMILY

Tea Party

Dottie and Weston —Ontario

Christabel —Nova Scotia

Everleigh —Ontario

Ava and Autumn —Ontario

Elizabeth —British Columbia

Hope and Journey —Prince Edward Island

SEND US

YOUR PHOTOS!

SUBMIT PHOTOS OF YOUR

CHILD PLAYING SPORTS

OR WITH PETS

Email photos to info@fotf.ca.

Include your child’s name,

age and province, and type

“sports” or “pets” in

the subject line.

* Largest photo possible. Professional photos are not accepted.

ADOBE STOCK - ELINACIOUS

46

FEB / MAR 2026

Half price

audio adventures!

Enjoy downloadable Adventures in Odyssey

audio dramas, digital devotionals

and eBooks at 50% off!

50%

OFF

Scan here

to shop!

Find the sale at


Focus on the Family

8605 Explorer Dr.

Colorado Springs, CO 80920

ELECTRONIC SERVICE REQUESTED

Don’t miss our

spring catalogue

Non Profit Org.

U.S. Postage

PAID

Focus on

the Family

Branded resources,

Easter books,

spring break reads

and more

Browse our

TOP springtime

picks inside!

Free shipping ON ORDERS OVER $75

excluding magazine subscriptions and donations

Return undelivered mail to:

19946 80A Avenue, Langley, BC V2Y 0J8

toll free 1 800 661 9800

web FocusOnTheFamily.ca

PM AGREEMENT NO. 40065505

Focus on the Family Magazine - February/March 2026

Transform your PDFs into Flipbooks and boost your revenue!

Focus on the Family Magazine - February/March 2026

Transform your PDFs into Flipbooks and boost your revenue!

Delete template?

Save as template ?