Uncle Andy's Digest March 2026
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through MWA Financial Services Inc., ME offered Lewiston,
Lewiston, a wholly owned
through ME
ME
04240
04240 subsidiary of
MWA Financial Services Seth
207-395-5177
Windham, Winthrop, Seth Inc., a Vlahakos*
wholly owned 04364
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Inc., 207-357-5429 a Vlahakos*
207-786-3612
Lewiston, ME 04240
ern -2573
207-407-7576
Woodmen of Windham, America.
wholly owned subsidiary of
Lewiston, Member: 207-786-3612
ME
207-786-2573
ME 04062 04240 FINRA, SIPC
207-576-3426
207-407-7576
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ME
04062 subsidiary of
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ed through MWA Financial Modern Woodmen Services Inc., of America. a wholly Member: owned FINRA, subsidiary SIPC of
FINRA, SIPC Modern Woodmen of America. 207-576-5656 Member: FINRA, SIPC
207-395-5177
Windham, ME 04062
207-786-3612
184 Webster Street
INRA, SIPC
ern Woodmen of America. Member: 207-786-3622
207-786-2573
207-407-7576
FINRA, SIPC
Windham, 207-407-7576
ME 04062
Lewiston, ME on the
dates times listed for
207-407-7576
207-786-2573
207-407-7576
each activity. Menus are
* Registered representative. Seth Kim Vlahakos*
Securities Pelkey* offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of
04240
Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Seth Inc., Vlahakos*
subject to change.
Modern Woodmen of Windham, America.
wholly owned subsidiary of
Lewiston, Member: ME ME 04062 04240 FINRA, SIPC
3
Modern Woodmen Matthew of America. Nadeau*
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Ron Windham, Ouellette* ME 04062
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04240
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Have Fun!
Securities Pelkey* offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly Registered owned subsidiary of
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of
Lewiston, ME 04240
ember: FINRA, SIPC
representative. of Securities offered ME through MWA Financial Services Seth Inc., Vlahakos*
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wholly owned subsidiary of
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207-576-5656
ME ME 04062 04240 FINRA, SIPC
207-395-5177
ME -2573 76
Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC
207-407-7576
Windham, ME 04062
207-786-3612
207-407-7576
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istered
ncial Services
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owned
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of
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ern Woodmen of * Registered America. representative. Member: FINRA, Securities SIPC
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offered
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r: FINRA, SIPC
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ties
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: Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC
FINRA, SIPC My dog is the 207-407-7576 only 207-786-2573 one who listens to my rants without suggesting I should calm down.
207-407-7576
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 3
Out and About
at Thatcher’s
Restaurant
I
Always pick
up my monthly
copy of the
Digest!
Stretching is important, especially when reaching for the chocolate on the top shelf.
Smile Again
Dentures
Call for a free
Consultation
Licensed Denturists
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don’t be
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SMILE
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All work done on-site. Repairs usually same day service!
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SmileAgainDentures.com | smileagaindentures@gmail.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
4 March 2026
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
No one does it like
Mac’s Grill!
Maine’s #1 steakhouse for a reason.
WE WILL CUT YOUR RIBEYE IN-HOUSE
Want a Larger Ribeye?
Ask Our Staff About Our Larger Cuts!
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 5
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
I love how a fly will enter your house through a crack in the bathroom window, but can’t find its way out
even if you remove the roof.
Quality Products
Reasonable Pricing
It’s why
we’re here.
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UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
is distributed by the first Friday of every month by Lydia Media LLC with its headquarters located at
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn, Maine. Published and distributed since 1996 throughout Central Maine and mailed
to subscribers all over the free world. Subscriptions are $49 .95 /year. UncleAndys.com|Office: 207-783-7039
While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very hard to ensure the accuracy of the information in our clients’ advertisements and our
publication in general, we are not responsible for vendor availability, typographical errors, technical inaccuracies, product
pricing errors, or omissions.
UNCLE ANDY'S DIGEST is proudly printed in Lewiston, Maine
Uncle Andy’s Digest
6 March 2026
www.penmor.com
I’ve been running for years…out of patience, money, and good decisions.
March
Birthdays
Ron Howard (72)
Justin Bieber (32)
Kesha (39)
GROWING
MAINE’S
WORKFORCE
FREE Grant-Funded
Workforce Training for
Maine Residents!
Gain essential skills and
knowledge to jumpstart or
advance your career.
Hands-On Training Programs:
Gain practical, in-demand
skills in Land Surveying, Fiber
Optics, Basic Life Support,
Microsoft Excel, High Pressure
Boiler Operation, and more.
Scan the QR code or visit:
cmcc.edu/workforce
SCAN HERE
Daniel Craig (58)
Jon Bon Jovi (64)
Jessica Biel (44)
Eva Mendes (52)
Shaquille O’Neal (54)
Freddie Prinze Jr. (50)
Sharon Stone (68)
Chuck Norris (86)
Carrie Underwood (43)
Liza Minnelli (80)
William Macy (76)
Michael Caine (93)
Billy Crystal (78)
Eva Longoria (51)
Lauren Graham (59)
Kurt Russell (75)
Gary Sinise (71)
Queen Latifah (56)
Adam Levine (47)
Bruce Willis (71)
Workforce & Professional Development • Lapoint 107
cmccworkforcedevelopment@mainecc.edu • (207) 755 - 5280
Central Maine Community College does not discriminate and is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer.
For more information, please call 207-755-5396 or email cmcchr@mainecc.edu.
Spike Lee (69)
Reese Witherspoon (50)
Elton John (79)
Why do people say “tuna fish sandwich”, yet nobody says “chicken bird sandwich”?
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 7
Let Me Ask
You A
Question
Two strangers were
seated next to each
other on a long flight
when the first guy
turned to the second
and said, “Let’s talk.
I’ve heard that flights
will go quicker if you
strike up a conversation
with your fellow
passenger.”
The second guy, who
had just opened his
book, closed it slowly,
took off his glasses
and said to the first
guy, “What would you
like to discuss?”
“Oh, I don’t know,”
said the first guy, “How
about nuclear power?”
“OK,” said the second
guy. “That could be an
interesting topic. But
let me ask you a question
first. A horse, a
cow, and a deer all eat
grass. The same stuff.
Yet a deer excretes little
pellets, while a cow
turns out a flat patty,
and a horse produces
clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose
that is?”
Been feeling a little moody and run down lately. I looked up my symptoms
and it turns out I have adulthood.
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This summer I’m starting Cross Fit. I cross my fingers and hope my clothes still fit.
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“Jeez,” said the first
guy. “I have no idea.”
“Well, then,” said the
second guy, “How is it
that you feel qualified
to discuss nuclear
power when you don’t
know crap?”
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
8 March 2026
If my daughter doesn’t stop having my attitude, I’m moving out.
My dog understands several English words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.
Frozen
Windows
Ed was working one
day when he got a
text message from his
wife Jane that said
“Windows totally frozen,
will not open.”
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Ed texted back,
“Carefully pour some
warm water over it
and tap the edges
with your hand.
Ed’s phone chimed in
with a text message
about 15 minutes
later.
“I think the laptop is
now totally gone now.”
A friend tried to annoy me with a bird pun. But toucan play that game.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 9
Out and About
at Thatcher’s
Restaurant
Hey,
how’s my hair
look?
Take
The Luck
Out Of It
Me: *enjoying a peanut butter milkshake* My kid: What’s that?
Me: It’s spicy. You wouldn’t like it.
Jon
Mercier
Lindsay
Wright
MEET OUR
FRIENDLY TEAM
Mark
Turner
Mason
Dupuis
Deb
Morin
Malayka
Harriman
Linda
Dupuis
Dustin
Mallar
Gary Thurlow
Let us help you find
your new home!
Paige
Landry
Brandon
Caruso
Valerie
Landry
I
give it two
thumbs up,
Gary!
Design-Build, Turn-Key Packages,
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(No Construction Loans Needed in Most Cases)
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368 Minot Avenue, Auburn
mainesourcehomes.com
Just learned the German word for constipation: Farfrompoopen.
Gerard Ellis
This is why I
wear a hat.
Moe Jalbert
Uncle Andy’s Digest
10 March 2026
THE AMERICAN LEGION
FAMILY
Members & Guests Welcome!
AMERICAN LEGION ACT
Veterans who were honorably discharged
but whose service did not fall into previously
defined war eras may now join
the American Legion immediately. The
eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,
until a time when the U.S. is no longer at
war, as determined by Congress.
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on
Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
For Veteran or Community services, call
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on MUSIC, Fridays and KARAOKE get a surprise! & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS!
“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
Hall Rentals Available
Call for more
information
207-782-1118
HOURS: Monday - Thursday: 12pm-8pm
Friday: 12pm-11pm • Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm
FRIDAYS 7-11pm in March
Jerry Joe - March 6th & 20th • 4:30 - 6:30pm
BREAKFAST BUFFET - $ 10
SUNDAY MARCH 15TH 8-10AM
Scrambled Eggs, Sausage, Sausage Gravy, Bacon,
Baked Beans, Fried Potatoes, Crepes, Toast, English
Muffins, Creton, Corned Beef Hash, Juices & Coffee
SAINT PATRICK’S CORNED BEEF DINNER
SATURDAY MARCH 14TH 4-6PM
Corned beef, potatoes, cabbage, carrots,
turnip, dinner roll & dessert
$15 per person
WHEEL OF FORTUNE WITH TYLA & KEITH
SATURDAY MARCH 28TH 5-7PM
MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18TH 2026
LEGION MEMBERS IN ATTENDANCE HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN $ 100, $ 50, OR $ 25
Executive Committee 6pm | General Meeting 7pm
Son’s Meeting Monday, March 9th 5:30pm
I hate when people say, “take it one day at a time.” What do you think
I’m going to do, skip Tuesday?
Where do bad rainbows go? To prism. It’s a light sentence, but it gives
them time to reflect.
48 th
TWIN CITY
GUN & SPORTSMEN
SH W
Admission $10
children under 12: Free
must be accompanied by an adult
March
28th-29th
Sat 9-4 | Sun 9-3
Lewiston Armory
65 Central Ave. Lewiston
food • raffles
free parking
All firearm laws
will be observed.
All proceeds from admission, food, and raffles
go to supporting the work of the
EXCHANGE
CLUB OF AUBURN
working to make our community a better place to live
A Fortune
A young man, Jared
asked an old rich
man, Robert how he
made his money.
Robert fingered his
worsted wool vest
and said, “Well, son, it
was 1932. The depth
of the Great Depression.
I was down to
my last nickel.
“I invested that nickel
in an apple. I spent
the entire day polishing
the apple and, at
the end of the day, I
sold the apple for ten
cents, Robert continued.
“The next morning,
I invested those ten
cents in two apples. I
spent the entire day
polishing them and
sold them at 5:00 pm
for 20 cents. I continued
this system for a
month, by the end of
which I’d accumulated
a fortune of $1.37.”
“And that’s how you
built an empire?” Jared
asked.
“Heavens, no!” Robert
replied. “Then my
wife’s father died and
left us two million
dollars.”
I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any more passwords left in me.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 11
Dogs
Welcome
Timothy wrote a letter
to one of the Chicago
hotels he planned
to stay at while on
vacation.
In this letter he
wrote, “I would like
to bring my dog with
me while visiting. He
is well behaved and
well-groomed. Would
you be willing to permit
me to keep him in
my room?”
The hotel manager
replied, saying, “I’ve
been operating hotels
for thirty years. I’ve
never had a dog steal
bedclothes, towels,
silverware or pictures
off the walls. I’ve
never had to kick a
dog out in the middle
of the night for being
drunk and disorderly.
And I’ve never had
a dog skip out on a
hotel bill.
So, yes, your dog is
welcome at my hotel.
And if your dog will
vouch for you, you’re
welcome to stay, too.”
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
ATTN: FOOD TRUCKS-
Need A Kitchen?
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Flexible Hours,
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Striving to invigorate hope,
bringing dreams to life.
Providing Direct Support To Maine Adults With Intellectual Disabilities.
WE ARE LOOKING FOR
A FITNESS TRAINER/YOGA INSTRUCTOR
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Muscle Strength, Posture, Joint Health, and Circulation
Our services can be very rewarding
in doing good for others.
Be part of something where others can give your
life new meaning.
happyhaven.info | 134 Main St. Suite 1 & 2, Lewiston | Phone- 207-241-0274 | Fax- 207-241-7280
Before they become butterflies, caterpillars have to dissolve into a disgusting pile of goo.
So if you’re a mess, wrapped up in blankets right now… keep going.
Take Out
Available!
DAILY SPECIALS
MONDAY - CLOSED
TUESDAY
Fried Pickle Basket
Thatcher’s Burger
25oz domestic drafts
WEDNESDAY
3 Beef Tacos
Thatcher’s Burrito
Well Margaritas • Coronas
THURSDAY
Stuffed Peppers
Buffalo Chicken Salad
Microbrews
FRIDAY
Clam Cake Basket
Fish & Chips
All-Star Club w/ fries & coleslaw
207-782-2135
Auburn Mall
Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm
SATURDAY
2 Hot Dogs w/fries
Miller Lite Bottles
SUNDAY
12" Cheese Pizza
Bloody Mary’s
Domestic Light/Lite Drafts
Uncle Andy’s Digest
12 March 2026
I stood waving to my neighbor for 10 minutes this morning before realizing she was
cleaning her windows.
If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like,
Hey, where’d all this money come from?
The Chapman House
Home for senior ladies
Out and About
at Thatcher’s
Restaurant
We
got great
food and cold
drinks!
Maddy Cote
Surprising
Facts About
St. Patrick's
Day
• The real St. Patrick
was born in Britain.
Providing compassionate care in a warm,
comfortable home. Our residents are encouraged
to continue the activities that make life enjoyable
while exploring new opportunities.
• There were no snakes
around for St. Patrick to
banish from Ireland.
• Leprechauns are
likely based on Celtic
fairies.
• The Shamrock was
considered a sacred
plant.
The Chapman House has private rooms available
for residents, aged 65 and older, who need
assistance with bathing, medications, and meals.
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961
Bonnie Iwans
• Ireland’s only female
patron saint, Brigid, has
her own holiday.
• The first St. Patrick’s
Day parade was held in
the US.
• Corned beef and cabbage
was an American
innovation.
My fishing spot is so secret, even the fish don’t know about it.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 13
Out and About
at Armand’s
Auto Body
Are there people
that still don’t know
we’re the best autobody
shop around?
I want to start juicing, but I can’t figure out how to juice tacos.
Coverage for
Every Day
Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts
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john.blanchette@nfp.com
For your business.
For your people.
For your life.
NFP.com
Copyright ©2023 NFP. All Rights Reserved.
681 Sabattus St., Lewiston, ME 04240
Dan Dumont
Two
thumbs up on
the paint job!
new cuStomerS welcome — call today!
delIvery &
InStallatIon
FiNANCiNG OPTiONS NOW AVAiLABLE
You Can’t Go Wrong
When You Call Strong!
Justin Cook
Lucian French
BEFORE YOU LIST, RENOVATE, OR RELAX - INSPECT
SCHEDULE A SPRING INSPECTION IF YOU NOTICE
• Ice Dams or Roof Stress
• Basement Moisture or Leaks
• Ceiling Stains or Cracking
• Drafty Rooms or Uneven Heat
• Plumbing Issues or Frozen Pipes
Ask us how to
SAVE $ 100
on your first
maintenance
Harsh Winters can hide damage that only shows up months
later. A professional Spring inspection helps uncover issues
before they become expensive repairs.
Protect your home. Protect your investment.
CALL TODAY!
207-619-0868
Uncle Andy’s Digest
14 March 2026
When life gives you lemons, throw them away and ask for chocolate.
I recently achieved a new culinary milestone…by setting off the neighbor’s smoke alarm.
Open Daily
11am-9pm
207.777.6353 | gridironrestaurant.com | 1567 Lisbon St. Lewiston
Kitchen Hack: Any pan can be a non-stick pan if you non-cook in it.
3 Sisters
Three elderly sisters,
ages 92, 94 and
96, shared a house
together. One evening,
the 96 year old sister
went upstairs to take
a bath. As she put her
foot into the tub, she
paused. Then she
yelled down to the
other two sisters and
asked, “Was I getting
in the tub or out?”
“You dern fool,” said
the 94 year old. “I’ll
come up and see.”
When she got half
way up the stairs she
paused. “Was I going
up the stairs or down?”
The 92 year old sister
was sitting at the kitchen
table drinking a cup
of tea and thought, “I
hope I never get that
forgetful, knock on
wood.” She shook her
head and called out,
“I’ll be up to help you
both as soon as I see
who’s at the door.”
Payback
My five year old son
squealed with delight
when he opened his
birthday present from
his grandmother. It
was a water pistol. He
promptly ran to the sink
to fill it.
“Mom,” I said. “I’m
surprised at you. Don’t
you remember how we
used to drive you crazy
with water pistols?”
My mom smiled and
said, “Yes, I remember.”
My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: Well, that didn’t go as planned.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 15
100 Years
Ago
A great old man
was celebrating his
100th birthday, got
a visit from the local
television station at
the nursing home to
interview him.
The reporter asked,
“Are you able to get
out and walk much?”
The old man replies,
“Well, I certainly walk
better today than I
could a hundred years
ago.”
Live your life in such a way that your family will sort through your belongings whispering,
“What the…What even is this? Why? What is going on?”
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www.GutterBrothersMaine.com
Check out our new monthly
podcast produced with
Lydia Media
LIVE
Search “Lewiston Live”anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts
We’ll discuss all things Lewiston with Lewiston’s
new City Administrator Bryan Kaenrath
Smart
Thinking
I threw a boomerang many years ago. I now live in constant fear.
After the Americans
went to the Moon, Evan
and Conor announced
that the Kerry Men
would go one better and
send a man to the sun.
Murphy objected. “If you
send a man to the sun,
he is sure to burn up!”
“What do you think we
are, stupid?” Evan
replied. “We’ll send our
man at night!”
Rt. 4 in Turner • Just past Twitchell’s Airport • 225-3432 • www.G3Firearms.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
16 March 2026
Judge: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Me: Your honor, I choose dare.
There’s No Place Like...
YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP
Hot & Ready Meals
Grab ‘n’ Go!
Order ahead,
or sit and eat!
Ice Cream Shop
Agency Liquor Store
& Beer Cave
Located in the building behind Dad’s Place
REDEMPTION CENTER
6 ¢
on all 5¢ returns with this coupon
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm
(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays)
(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting)
UAD exp. 03.31.26
$ 1.00 OFF
$ 1.00 OFF ANY SIZE ICE CREAM
(must present coupon at the time of purchase)
UAD exp. 03.31.26
UAD exp. 03.31.26
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 17
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls | dadsplacemaine.com | 207-345-5551
Sooner
A mother was telling
her little girl what her
own childhood was
like.
“We used to skate
outside on a pond.
I had a swing made
from a tire; it hung
from a tree in our
front yard. We rode
our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the
woods.”
The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this
all in. At last she said,
“I sure wish I’d gotten
to know you sooner!”
I don't know if I have free time, or if there’s something I’m supposed to be
doing right now.
Are you feeling
LUCKY?!
| EssenceWellnessSpa.com/Deals
Massage | Sauna | Waxing | Foot Spa
My father worked 12 hours a day to put food on the table. He was a great man,
but a slow cook.
We help keep your rugs clean, fresh,
and looking their best.
Say Goodbye to Winter Grime...
Book early to guarantee your area rugs
will be Spring - clean!
(207) 783-2933 | 227 East Ave, Lewiston | collinscarpetcleaning.com
Happy
St. Patrick’s
Day!
WE’RE
Lucky
TO BE ABLE TO GET BORROWERS
INTO THEIR DREAM HOMES!
(207) 576-7943 | 250 Center St. Auburn, Ste 205 | jlaplante@usa-mortgage.com
Homework
Help
“Dad,” said Little Johnny,
“I’m late for football
practice. Would you
please help me do my
homework?”
The father said firmly,
“Son, it just wouldn’t
be right.”
“That’s okay,” replied
Little Johnny, “but you
could at least give it a
try, couldn’t you?”
I’ve worked hard to become the best possible version of myself. Unfortunately, this is it.
WHERE QUALITY
MEETS RELAXATION
In-ground & Aboveground Pools
• Liner replacements
• Service & Maintenance
• Opening & Closing
• Equipment Upgrades
• Residential Plowing & Sanding
Get Your Pool Install
Scheduled B-4 It’s Too Late!
207-713-5384 | EastAuburnPools@Yahoo.com | EastAuburnPoolsAndServices.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
18 March 2026
Smart TVs are great, but I want a real smart TV, one that increases the volume
when you start eating chips.
It’s so annoying when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.
NOW HIRING
TOP INDUSTRY PAY
•SITE LABORERS
•EQUIPMENT
OPERATORS
•FOREMAN
BENEFITS INCLUDE:
Health, Dental, Vision, Paid Holidays,
Paid Time Off, and Boot Allowance
•COMMERCIAL
•RESIDENTIAL
•CIVIL
Out and About
at Armand’s
Auto Body
Call or Email 207.754.2343 | info@hirdcontracting.com
Your Trusted
Excavation Contractor
Allan Hedrick
Try Our
Bourbon, Barrel
Aged Maple Old
Fashioned!
207-370-7244 | simplycleanme.com
contact@simplycleanme.com
The Village Inn
Your business will
get the love &
care it needs from
people part of this
community, who
want to give back
to you!
• Highly-trained team
• Personalized checklist
Open:
Wed-11-8pm
Thur-Sat 11-9pm
Sunday 11-8pm
Saint Patrick’s Day Dinner Served
Saturday 14th & Sunday 15th
Antony Chabot
Thank
you! Come again,
next time will you
bring a treat?
Check Out Our Weekly Specials
Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, & carrots.
207-782-7796 | 165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com | Open Wednesday - Sunday
Archie & Dan
If you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d be amazed at how blurry you look.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 19
Uncle Andy’s Digest
20 March 2026
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 21
Out and About
at Guild
Mortgage
Every once in a while I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner over the driveway - just to
make sure the neighbors never talk to me.
WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER
NEW MEMBERS!
Nonesuch River Brewing Poland
nonesuchriverbrewing.com/poland
OTIS Federal Credit Union
otisfcu.coop
Courtney Vincent
We love
referrals!
Zion Care LLC
zioncaremaine.com
Renewal by Anderson of Greater Maine
rbagreatermaine.com
415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM
Shani Smith
I gave my handyman a to-do list. He only did items 1, 3, 5, and 7. Turns out he
only does odd jobs.
And the
Bruins!
Shani Smith
Ain't
that the
truth!
Laurie Dupile
Uncle Andy’s Digest
22 March 2026
I told my dentist my teeth were turning yellow. He asked, “Do you smoke or drink coffee?”
I replied, “I drink it."
I bought a horse and my neighbor asked if I was going to race him. I don’t think so.
He’s a lot faster than I am.
Out and About
at Guild
Mortgage
I
got good news,
I got you a great
rate!
I’m really good at doing stuff until people are watching me doing stuff.
Debbie Bodwell
2026
AVGC OPEN HOUSE
SUNDAY • MARCH 22ND • 12PM-8PM
SeptIc InstallatIon House Lots
sITE WORK
Spring is right around the corner
GIve us a call today!
207.754.6436
WWW.DIONNECONSTRUCTIONSERVICES.COM
League/Tournament
Sign-Up Tables
Meet & Greet
Members & Staff!
Live Music on the Deck!
Food & Drink Specials
Golf Prizes • Games & More!
316 Pinewoods Rd, Lewiston | 207-784-9773 | applevalleyme.com
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot during the day.
This
was fun...
Muriel celebrated...
her 90th birthday with us
and can't wait for the next party!
The Meadows
“Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”
Happy St. Patricks Day
A warm home-style assisted living center for self-sufficient seniors!
We have availability starting at $1500 per month
#433 RT. 202, P.O. BOX 629, GREENE • 946-3007
But
I'm ready for
this.
Lydia of Lydia Media
We all need to chill. I won’t go first, but it’s something I’ve noticed.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 23
What Did He
Say?
An elderly couple
were driving through
County Kerry, Ireland.
Irene was driving
when she got pulled
over by the Garda
(Irish police).
Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved
the laundry to the dryer.
“Ma’am did you
know that you were
speeding?” asked the
officer.
Irene turns to her husband,
Mick, and asks,
“What did he say?”
Mick yells out, “He
says you were
speeding!”
The Garda said, “May
I see your license,
please ma’ am?”
Save the
Date
Irene, once again,
turns to Mick and says,
“What did he say?”
Once more, Mick,
shouts out, “He wants
to see your license!”
Irene gives the policeman
her driving
license.
90's Music from Pallo Entertainment
The Garda retorts,
“I see you are from
Kerry. I spent some
time there once and
went on the worst
date ever.”
For the final time, Irene
turns to Mick and asks,
“What did he say?”
Mick yells very loudly,
“He thinks he knows
you!”
Check FaceBook events FMI
Uncle Andy’s Digest
24 March 2026
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, “Go ahead.
Knock yourself out.”
I love it when all of my bills are paid so I can enjoy my remaining $16.28 in peace.
Eligible for Medicare?
CALL US TODAY
to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.
30+
Years of
Experience!
Out and About
at Community
Credit Union
At Burnt Ends Barbeque
for Employee Appreciation
& Awards
Cheers
to the best
staff!
Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston
Betsy Sibley
Auburn Exchange Club presenting the ACE Award during one of their meetings.
Want to learn more about The Auburn Exchange Club? Visit: AuburnExchangeClub.com
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Locally Owned & Operated
150 East Ave. Lewiston
HOME, AUTO,
BUSINESS, & MORE
207-783-2246 | 888-983-2246
150 East Ave. Lewiston | 243 Mount Auburn Ave. Suite C, Auburn
Ruth Moubagou,
Employee Of The
Year
They
call me Mr.
Ruth.
Them: How are you still single? Your so cute. Me: you’re*
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 25
You can now text
your Shout Out to
207.689.1444
Melissa is worthy of praise
for her exemplary commitment and work ethic, as evidenced by
her ability to care for others, launch a business, and complete
her studies with a perfect score, resulting in her employment
at Maine Medical. Your accomplishments set a high standard of
excellence. - Darlene Colby
Uncle Andy’s Digest
26 March 2026
Congrats 10U Glads Black!!
2026 LIONS Tournament winners!
You're now officially magazine famous!
Submit your Shout Out
today to be published in
the next issue!
* Must be submitted by 03/20 for April.*
Shout Out to all who have
helped made our move possible.
We are so thankful for
our community.
Learn more at
TrinityJubileeCenter.org
We're wishing you a
Happy Birthday
John Rice!
LydiaMediaLLC.com
Shout Out to Nutty
Netties for their
new location at
730 Center St. Next
to TJ Maxx!
Shout out to Cam Wickens of Central Maine
Community College Mustangs who made
48 saves to shut out the rival Terriers on
January 23rd.
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
$49.99
ANNUALLY
Home Delivery
LA Metro Magazine &
Uncle Andy’s Digest
$84.99
ANNUALLY
Home Delivery
Digital
$21
ANNUALLY
Hard Copy
$49.99
ANNUALLY
Home Delivery
DIGITAL &
HARD COPY
$64.99
ANNUALLY
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 27
Out and About
at Community
Credit Union
At Burnt Ends Barbeque
for Employee Appreciation
& Awards
What
a great day to
share with co-workers
and families.
Jen Hogan and
Chaise Hogan
Katelyn Dearborn,
Rookie Of The Year
and Andrew Lunn
Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people aren’t allowed to talk.
We’ve got your seat!
March 12 La Rencontre featuring French students
performing “Le Petit Prince” in two languages!
Sponsor: TV5 Monde
March 17 Donnybrook Farm
Come wearing your green for fun in the
Lower Level Bar & Lounge
Sponsors: Skelton Taintor & Abbott; Evergreen Printing; Androscoggin
Bank; and Emerson Chevrolet
March 27 Mystery Theater
featuring actors from Mystery for Hire
Come dressed for the Oscars awards night!
Sponsors: Platz Associates; Skelton Taintor & Abbott;
DJ Brothers; Evergreen Printing; Androscoggin Bank
April 11 Stand-up Comedy with Juston McKinney
April 24 Elton John tribute concert
Sponsors: Skelton Taintor & Abbott; Evergreen Printing; Androscoggin
Bank; and Emerson Chevrolet
May 16 Rod Stewart tribute concert
Sponsors: Platz Associates; Berman & Simmons;
Central Distributors; and Androscoggin Bank
Line Dancing: Sundays at 6pm and Wednesdays at 10am
Parlez Vous? free French conversation group meetings
every other Thursday at 10:30am
Unlock the thrill! Gather friends for a 1-hour Escape Room
adventure—$15 per person. Can you beat the clock? Reserve
your spot now: bookeo.com/franco
Looking for a venue for your event? Looking to rent a
commercial kitchen for your food truck or catering
business? Talk to us! 207-333-3251
Season Underwriter: Maple Way Dental Care;
Media Sponsors: Bennett Radio Group | Turner Publishing | Sun Journal | Uncle Andy’s Digest
Ann Boudreaux &
Julia Copp
Uncle Andy’s Digest
28 March 2026
46 Cedar St., Lewiston
207-689-2000
www.francocenter.org
Once upon a time, there was a king who was only twelve inches tall.
He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.
I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning, just not as it applies to me.
Rules
On the first day of
college, the Dean of
Students addressed
the student population
with the rules of living
on campus.
gippers.com 120 center st. auburn 207.786.0715
Kailyn Minoty Joins Lydia Media
As Graphic Designer
Auburn, ME - Lydia Media is pleased to announce the appointment of Kailyn
Minoty as it’s new Graphic Designer. Kailyn brings a background in marketing and
communications, coupled with focused experience in the Adobe Creative Suite for the
creation and rebranding of print and digital collateral.
Owner of Lydia Media, Pam Ashby adds,“We are thrilled to have Kailyn join our team,
her attention to detail and creativity is exactly what we were looking for in our next
graphic deigner. We are looking forward to working on new projects with her on board.”
Join us for our:
Mother’s Day Tea Party
All net proceeds go to Black Belts Against Domestic Violence
SATURDAY | MAY 9TH | 10AM-1PM
at Lydia Media - 2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn
Bakery and beverage items served throughout event!
Food • Drinks • Photo Booth with Props
included in ticket price
Permanent Jewlery Station • Tarot Readings
priced seperately
Tickets: $10- Guests 21 + | $5- Guests Under 21
Purchase via Venmo or RSVP by May 7th if you'd like to pay at the door
FMI: visit our Mother's Day Tea Party FB page or text/call (207) 689-1444
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in… See if that works.
“The female dormitory
will be out-of-bounds
for all male students
and the male dormitory
to the female
students. Anybody
caught breaking this
rule will be fined $20
the first time.”
He continued, “Anybody
caught breaking
this rule the second
time will be fined $60.
Being caught a third
time will cost you a
fine of $180. Are there
any questions?”
At this point, a male
student in the crowd
inquired, “How much
for a season pass?”
Mileage?
The insurance agency
draws business from a
retirement community.
Edward, was applying
for auto insurance and
the agent asked him
how many miles he
drives in a year. Edward
didn’t know.
“Well, do you drive
10,000 miles a year?”
the agent asked, “or
5,000?”
Edward said the numbers
sounded high.
“What month is this?”
he asked.
“Well, sir, it’s March,”
the agent said.
“I filled the car with gas
last October.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 29
CALL THE PROS
Get Ready for Vacation with
a Snorkel or SCUBA class!
Next Class
starts April 3rd
Call
Today!
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise
805 Main Street, Lewiston • 784-7300 • www.skindiversparadise.net
Main Street
Music Lessons
WELCOMING NEW STUDENTS
FOR IN PERSON LESSONS!
• LESSONS
• REPAIRS
• SALES
• RENTALS
207-376-3376
LA’S #1 STOP FOR ALL
YOUR MUSIC NEEDS!
33 Dunn Street, Auburn | mainstreetmusiclessons.com
Poisson & Sons Auto Care
260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144
FULL SERVICE GAS STATION
Winter Car Care
• Check your car fluids, lights, & tires
• Make sure your engine is in good condition
• Keep your wipers in good condition
• Keep an emergency kit in your car
1
MARCH
Stickers
Are Due!
One Job Board for
Employers & Job Seekers
LOCAL TALENT.
LOCAL OPPORTUNITIES.
UNCLE
ANDY’SDIGEST
www.uncleandys.com/job-board
Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services
Serving Lewiston & Auburn Since 2018
Mike Magretto
Veteran Owned & Operated
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
207-530-8890
SAVE
THE
DATE!
Friday, May 15
at Hilton Auburn
To join our list, email
marketing@seniorsplus.org
Fill the Plate
Breakfast
to benefit
Meals on Wheels
Uncle Andy’s Digest
30 March 2026
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you’re a good driver.
That curb should have never been there.
CALL THE PROS
Roy’s
FoodLand
Best Chicken &
Ham Salad In Town!
WE ARE OPEN!
ron’S
WEDNESDAY
Ham, Veggie,
Salami, or
Pepperoni Italians
$3.99
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm
Fri. 8am-7pm
Sat. 8am-6pm
70 Broad Street, Auburn
207-783-8471
SATURDAY
Beans, bread/
rolls & cole slaw
$12.99
207.224.0222
www.redmapleaudiology.com
info@redmapleaudiology.com
Let us help you
reconnect with
conversations
7 Cobblestone Dr. Suite 2, Turner
DIsCOvER a vARiETy oF
GUNS • AMMO • SUPPLIES
IT’S HADDOCK SEASON AT KP’S
FRESH HADDOCK ALL LENT LONG
Fine line
Gun Shop
(207) 998-2374
590 Plains Rd., Poland
Ruger Max-9
Optic Ready 9mm
• 3.20" Barrel
• Tritium Fiber
Optic Front Sight
• Two 12 rd Mags
& One 10rd Mag
• Crispy Fried Haddock
• Grilled Haddock Sandwich
• Haddock Chowder
• Haddock Basket
207.376.4295 | 245 Center St, Auburn
Open tues - sat | 11am - 7pm
Now Serving Beer & Wine
Accounting
& Tax
Service You
Can Trust!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.
Certified Public Accountant
Tax Planning & Preparation
for Individuals and Business
P.O. Box 895 | 207.782.1040
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B | Auburn, ME 04212
207-777-5600
24 Hour Service
Proudly serving Auburn,
Lewiston, and the surrounding
communities!
235 N. River Road, Auburn
Spring Ahead & Schedule Your AC
Maintenance Before It Gets Too Hot!
Top 3 HVAC Contractors In The Area!
pro-techrefrigeration.com | theresa@pro-techrefrigeration.com
ron’S
tranSmISSIon repaIr ServIce
YOUR FULL SERVICE
REPAIR FACILITY
Tires & State Inspections Available!
515 Gardiner Rd. Wales
375-4924
EVERGREEN
CUSTOM PRINTING, INC.
We specialize in domestic
car & truck, automatic
& manual transmissions,
transfer cases & differentials.
Ron
Charpentier, Jr.,
Owner
FULL COLOR
DIGITAL
PRINTING
Posters • Booklets
Carbonless forms • Envelopes
Business Cards & More!
2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn
Info@evergreencustomprinting.com 782-0525
When someone says they did something “like a boss”, I just assume they did
nothing and took credit for someone else’s work.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 31
CALL THE PROS
Your Next Adventure
Shouldn’t Rely on
Luck
Family Adventures • Stress-Free Group Travel • Romatic Escapes for Two
Ask
Lydia
Erin Dunbar
FAMILY TRAVEL SPECIALIST
207.329.8517
erin.dunbar@cctcagent.com
erindunbar.cctcagent.com
Call Today!
Your only job is to pack.
Dear Lydia,
I want to make new friends, but starting
conversations makes me nervous.
Do you have any advice?
– Shy in Auburn
If Pain Relief
Feels Like Finding
a Pot of Gold…
Accupuncture
may help
Roasted garlic,
mashed potatoes,
bacon, provalone,
cheddar cheese,
& red onions topped
with sour cream
85 Center Street, Auburn | 207-784-8221 | 11a-9p daily
LITTLE DRAGON INTEGRATIVE MEDICINE
369 MAIN ST, LEWISTON | 207-531-5346
Dear Shy in Auburn,
Let me share a little secret: even I, a famously
friendly lab, get nervous sometimes.
Meeting new dogs or humans takes a bit of
courage. What helps is focusing less on saying
the “perfect” thing and more on simply showing
warmth. A genuine smile is the human version
of a tail wag, and it goes a long way. Start by
asking simple questions—people love talking
about themselves. Things like, “How’s your day
going?” or “What got you into that hobby?”
open the door without pressure.
Also, don’t underestimate shared activities.
It’s easier to talk when you’re doing something
together, whether it’s volunteering, attending
community events, or joining a group centered
around something you enjoy. The biggest thing?
Don’t judge yourself too harshly. Most people
are just as unsure as you are—they’re simply
hiding it better. With small steps, kindness, and
a little confidence sprinkled in (like crumbs from
a treat), you’ll find your circle growing naturally.
SCAR TISSUE THERAPY
Benefits include:
• Softening & flattening scars
• Preventing scar tissue buildup
• Reducing swelling
• Improving blood flow
• Reducing hypersensitivity
• Pain reduction
• Reducing itching
207.240.6415 | www.memassagetherapy.com
Love and snacks,
Lydia
Scan here to submit
your question OR
Text question to
207.689.1444
Uncle Andy’s Digest
32 March 2026
My husband and I decided to never go to bed angry. We’ve been awake since Saturday.
It’s amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of
someone coming over.
Out and About
at Community
Credit Union
At Burnt Ends Barbeque
for Employee Appreciation
& Awards
They
call us double
trouble!
LA Metro Magazine
DIGITAL
We’re evolving the way we share our stories.
Our articles will no longer be available for free
online, but instead offered exclusively through
a beautifully designed, subscriber-only digital
flipbook — giving you a more engaging and
immersive reading experience.
Ginger Leigh Smith &
Erin Dunn Kimball
What you can expect:
• A beautifully designed flipbook format
that’s easy to read on any device
• Full access to articles of the last
10 issues of LA Metro Magazine
• A distraction-free, curated experience
delivered directly to you
By subscribing, you’re helping us preserve the
quality and integrity of our publication, support
our contributors, and ensure that independent
storytelling continues to thrive.
Marcel Gagne
Subscribe
Today
LAMetroMagazine.com
Christin Wilson
I’m looking for friends with benefits. People with swimming pools, boats,
and vacation homes.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 33
| EVENTS |
MARCH
LYDIA’S
LUNCH BUNCH
every thursday
Trivia
The Pub at Baxter
120 Mill St., Lewiston
6:30pm
FB.com/PubAtBaxter
Episode 355
Episode 361
Episode 364
Episode 365
Uncle Andy’s Digest
March 2026
every Friday
Open Mic Night
Hopper’s
316 Pinewoods Rd., Lewiston
6pm - 9pm
AppleValleyme.com
March 6
Teen Writer’s Roundtable
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St., Auburn
3:30pm
AuburnPublicLibrary.org
Brian Patricks
Olive Pit Brewing
16 Main St., Lisbon
6pm
FB.com/BrianPatricksME
Freight
Craft Brew Underground
34 Court St., Auburn
8:30pm - Midnight
FB.com/CBUAuburn
March 7
Block Print Your
Own Clothing
Ellard Studios
178 Lisbon St., Lewiston
11am
FB.com/EllardStudios
Mary’s Firemen for a Cure
Lost Valley
200 Lost Valley Rd., Auburn
11am
FB.com/LostValleyMaine
First Time Home
Buyer Class
Keller Williams
243 Mount Auburn Ave., Auburn
11am
FB.com/AngelaLeeKW
2026 winners of our sweetheart contest
caleb & nikki McGuiggey
Kids Indoor Racing
Central Maine Powersports
845 Main St., Lewiston
3pm
FB.com/CentralMainePowersports
Baked Bean and
Casserole Supper
Holy Trinity Church Hall
67 Frost Hill Ave., Lisbon
5pm
KofC13181.org
80s Glow Bowl
Fundraiser
Just-In-Time Recreation
24 Mollison Way, Lewiston
6pm
FB.com/Bowl207
MMS Echoes of the Earth
The Franco Center
46 Cedar St., Lewiston
7pm
FrancoCenter.org
Motor Booty Affair
Kora Shrine Temple
11 Sabattus St., Lewiston
7pm - 10pm
FB.com/KoraShriners
March 8
YWCA Women of
Achievement
Hilton Garden Inn
14 Great Falls Plaza, Auburn
11am - 2pm
FB.com/YWCAMaine
march 10
King of the Valley Freestyle
Lost Valley
200 Lost Valley Rd., Auburn
5:30 - 7:30pm
FB.com/LostValleyMaine
march 11
Evolving Your Career
LA Metro Chamber
415 Lisbon St., Lewiston
5pm
MaineWomensNetwork.com
march 13
Lee Stearns
Nerdcore
97 Lisbon St., Lewiston
5pm
FB.com/LeeStearnsMusic
Potty Mouth Potter
Paint Night
Moon Stone Pottery
186 Turner St., Auburn
6pm
FB.com/MoonStonePotteryME
34
Send us your events for April by March 20th. Text 207.689.1444 or email office@LydiaMediaLLC.com
Calendar
Sponsored by:
2026
march 13
Ceramic Planters
Workshop
Work in Progress Art Studio
52 Lisbon St., Lisbon
6pm - 9pm
FB.com/wipas52
Paint Night to Benefit
LHS Boys Lacrosse
Marco’s Restaurant
12 Mollison Way, Lewiston
6pm
FB.com/MarcosRestaurantLewiston
Contra Dance
Trinity Episcopal Church
247 Bates St., Lewiston
7pm - 10pm
LewistonContraDance.org
march 13-14
Lewiston Maineiacs vs.
Universel Quebec
The Colisee
190 Birch St., Lewiston
Fri-7:30pm, Sat-7pm
LewistonMaineiacsHockey.com
march 14
Annual Beach Party
L-A Harley Davidson
839 Main St., Lewiston
4pm - 9pm
FB.com/LAHarleyDavidson
Phoenix No Limits Karate
Comedy Fundraiser
Burnt Ends Barbecue
120 Center St., Auburn
5:30pm - 9pm
PhoenixNLKarate.org
Second Saturday Social
Blue Feather
49 Lisbon St., Lewiston
6pm - 9pm
FB.com/ItsHappeningQueer
Saturday Storytime
Lewiston Public Library
200 Lisbon St., Lewiston
11am
LPLonline.org
Hairy Pie
Fast Breaks
1465 Lisbon St., Lewiston
8pm - 11:30pm
FB.com/FastBreaksInc
march 14
Burning Time & Loki
The Colisee Club
190 Birch St., Lewiston
8pm
FB.com/TheColiseeClub
march 15
Leavitt Project Grad
Cornhole Fundraiser
Just-In-Time Recreation
24 Mollison Way, Lewiston
11am
FB.com/TB.Mobile.Events
Painting Birdhouses
Wicked Illustrations
140 Canal St., Lewiston
1pm
WickedIllustrations.com
march 16-18
Lewiston Baseball
Evaluations
Lewiston Middle School
75 Central Ave., Lewiston
6pm
FB.com/LewistonCalRipken
MARCH 19
Lewiston Farmers’
Winter Market
Edward Little High School
77 Harris St., Auburn
4pm - 7pm
LewistonFarmersMarket.com
Murder Mystery Dinner
Carriage House Plus
1119 Lisbon St., Lewiston
6pm
Mystery207.com
march 20
Safe Voices Grown-Up
Book Fair
Hilton Garden Inn
14 Great Falls Plaza, Auburn
4pm - 7pm
SafeVoices.org
Nate Nite Tonite
Great Falls Comedy Club
34 Court St., Auburn
7:30pm
GreatFallsComedyClub.com
march 20-21
Maine Nordiques
vs. Elmira
Norway Savings Bank Arena
985 Turner St., Auburn
Fri-7:30pm, Sat-7pm
FB.com/TheMaineNordiques
March 20-29
Whit’s End
The Public Theatre
31 Maple St., Lewiston
Start times vary
ThePublicTheatre.org
march 21
Breakfast with the Bunny
Family Time Dine and Play
550 Center St., Auburn
9am - 11am
FB.com/FamilyTimeDineAndPlay
march 27
Movement at the Museum -
Taiko Drumming
Maine MILL
35 Canal St., Lewiston
5pm
MaineMILL.org
Murder at the Marquee
The Franco Center
46 Cedar St., Lewiston
7pm
FrancoCenter.org
march 28
Maine Home Show
Norway savings Arena
985 Turner St., Auburn
9am - 4pm
TheDivineDivas207.com
Meet & Greet
The Easter Bunny
Auburn Public Library
49 Spring St., Auburn
10am - 12pm
TheDivineDivas207.com
march 29
Trivia Night
The Highland Grille
10 Highland Ave., Turner
5:30pm
TurnerHighlands.com
A Laugh Out Loud
COMEDY!
March 20 - 29, 2026
When a widowed father
summons his grown children
home to share some “big
news”, they arrive in tears
convinced he must be dying —
why else would he pay for their
plane tickets? But Dad has
good news – he’s fallen in love
and wants everyone to meet
her! Whether you’re a parent
or a child, this laugh-out-loud
comedy about the people we
love and our opinions about
the people they love is for you!
All Tickets $15
Sat, May 30 @ 2 PM
May 8-17
ThePublicTheatre.org
(207) 782-3200
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 35
31 Maple Street, Lewiston
Languages
A Swiss man, on
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It’s crazy how some people need no proof to believe a lie but require endless
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The boys remain totally
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
36 March 2026
90% of being married is shouting “What?” from another room.
207-782-7141
207-782-7141
PIZZA IS ALWAYS
IN SEASON
BUSINESS
SP TLIGHT
Call us
for a free
estimate!
Cleanings for:
One-Time Deep Cleaning
Commercial/ Office
Post Construction
Rental Turn Over
207-713-1550
Spring clean-up is
almost here!
Call now to get on our list for
Spring Yard Clean-Up
Serving Androscoggin County
207-709-0501
Truenorthjoey@gmail.com
Out and About
at Community
Credit Union
At Burnt Ends Barbeque
for Employee Appreciation
& Awards
This
day deserves
a thumbs up!
WORTHY
BOOKKEEPING
Clear books = Confident decisions.
• CODE & CATEGORIZE EXPENSES
• TREND ANALYSIS
• CONSULTANCY
WORTHYBKKG.COM
Top Agent of
the Month
January 2026
Matt Mocciola
207-346-4900
81 Main St, Auburn ME
www.TMREE.com
Anderson Lunn
Yeah,
what he
said!
Andrew Lunn
Aria Lunn
I woke from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work.
Luckily, I was already at work.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 37
Directory of Advertisers
C - front cover | IFC - inside front cover
BC - back cover | IBC - inside back cover
AUTOMOTIVE
Armand’s Auto Body............................C
armandsautobody.com
Mike's Complete Auto Center........... 6
207.753.0433
Poisson & Sons Auto Care................ 30
207.782.9144
Ron’s Transmission............................ 31
207.375.492
BANKING
Community Credit Union...................C
communitycreditunion.com
Dirigo Federal Credit Union............ 30
dirigofcu.com
Otis Federal Credit Union................ 23
207.879.0900
Great Falls Credit Union....................C
207.782.7192
CLEANING PROFESSIONALS
Collaborative Cleaners......................37
207.713.1550
Collins Carpet Cleaning....................... 18
CollinsCarpetCleaning.com
Emerald Janitorial..............................30
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com
Simply Clean ME LLC.......................19
207.370.7244
CONSTRUCTION & EXCAVATION
Dionne Construction........................... 23
207.754.6436
Hird Contracting................................ 19
207.754.2343
DENTISTS & DENTURES
Smile Again Dentures.......................... 4
SmileAgainDentures.com
EDUCATION/BUSINESS SERVICES
Barclay's Skindivers Paradise........... 30
207.784.7300
Central Maine Community College..... 7
cmcc.edu
LA Metro Chamber of Commerce.... 22
lametrochamber.com
Main Street Music Lessons................ 30
207.376.3376
ELECTRICAL
DeBlois Electric, Inc............................ 8
debloiselectric.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest
38 March 2026
ENTERTAINMENT
American Legion Post 153............... 10
207-782-1118
Franco Center......................................28
francocenter.org
Maine Campground RV Show................ 9
MaineCampingGuide.com
Maine Nordiques.................................. 15
FB.com/Themainenordiques
Mother's Day Tea Party................... 29
207-689-1444
The Public Theatre............................35
207.782.3200
Uncle Andy's Digest 30th Anniversary.... 24
207-689-1444
FINANCIAL SERVICES
Community Credit Union....................C
communitycreditunion.com
Dirigo Federal Credit Union............ 30
dirigofcu.com
Michael G. Spaulding........................ 31
207.782.1040
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 25
modern-woodmen.org
Otis Federal Credit Union................ 23
207.879.0900
Great Falls Credit Union....................C
207.782.7192
USA Mortgage - Jhanae LaPlante....... 18
207-576-4973
Worthy Bookkeeping............................ 37
Worthybkkg.com
FOOD & BEVERAGE
Dad's Place..........................................17
dadsplacemaine.com
Firehouse Grill................................... BC
firehouseauburn.com
George’s Pizza.....................................37
georgespizza.com
Gipper’s................................................29
gippers.com
GridIron Restaurant.......................... 15
gridironrestaurant.com
Hoppers Restaurant........................... 23
207.784.9773
KP's Place............................................31
207.376.4295
Nonesuch................................................ 9
207.998.5008
Mac’s Grill............................................. 5
MacsGrill.com
Pat’s Pizza Auburn.............................. 32
patsauburn.com
Roopers Beverage & Redemption...39
roopersbeverage.com
Roy’s Foodland....................................31
ShopAtRoysFoodland.com
Thatcher's............................................12
207.782.2135
The Village Inn-Auburn.................... 19
villageinnmaine.com
HEALTH & WELLNESS
ABC Pool.....................................................8
abcpool.com
Andwell Health Partners................... 30
andwell.org
Essence Wellness Spa LLC............... 18
essencewellnessspa.com
Happy Haven....................................... 12
happyhaven.info
Little Dragon Integrative Medicine..... 32
207.531.5346
ME Massage Therapy........................ 32
memassagetherapy.com
Red Maple Audiology........................31
207.224.0222
Seniors Plus.........................................30
207.795.4010
HEATING & PLUMBING
Heat Pumps of Maine.........................C
heatpumpsofmaine.com
Pro-Tech Refrigeration..................... 31
pro-techrefrigeration.com
Strong Propane...................................14
strongpropaneservices.com
HOME IMPROVEMENT
ABC Pool.....................................................8
abcpool.com
Collins Carpet Cleaning....................... 18
CollinsCarpetCleaning.com
East Auburn Pools.............................. 18
207.713.5384
Gutter Brothers...................................16
207.240.4048
Kitchen Designs by Stacy................... 2
207.754.8833
Upfront Home Inspections............... 14
207.619.0868
Got Bugs Pest Services LLC............37
207.242.4988
True North Landscaping..................37
207.709.0501
Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
INSURANCE
Champoux Insurance......................... 25
888.983.2246
Lisa Laliberte-State Farm................... 6
207.783.3332
John Blanchette NFP Insurance...... 14
207.784.9358
MISCELLANEOUS
Greater Androscoggin Humane Society..... 20
gahumane.org/pawitforward
Happy Haven.......................................12
happyhaven.info
LA Chamber of Commerce.............. 22
lametrochamber.com
Lewiston Live Podcast....................... 16
PRINT & PROMOTIONAL
Coastal T-Shirts....................................6
coastaltshirts.com
Evergreen Custom Printing.............31
207.782.0525
WIGY Radio.......................................22
wigyradio.com
REAL ESTATE
Debbie Bodwell-Guild Mortgage..... BC
207.754.3962
DuBois Realty..............................20, 21
duboisrealtygroup.net
Maine Source Realty..........................10
mainesourcehomes.com
Matt Sells Maine.............................. BC
MattSellsMaine.com.com
The Maine Real Estate Experience.... 37
TMREE.com
USA Mortgage - Jhanae LaPlante....... 18
207-576-4973
RECREATION
ABC Pools.............................................. 8
abcpool.com
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise........... 30
207.784.7300
East Auburn Pools.............................. 18
207.713.5384
Erin Dunbar - Travel Agent............. 32
207.329.8517
Kora Shriners Outdoor Expo............... 21
KoraShriners.org/outdoor-expo
Maine Campground RV Show................ 9
MaineCampingGuide.com
Main Street Music Lessons................ 30
207.376.3376
REDEMPTION CENTERS
Dad's Place..........................................17
dadsplacemaine.com
Roopers Beverage & Redemption.....39
roopersbeverage.com
RETIREMENT
Modern Woodmen of America...3, 25
modern-woodmen.org
The Chapman House Assisted Living ....13
207.783.0961
Seniors Plus.........................................30
207.795.4010
The Meadows Senior Living............23
207.946.3007
SPORTING GOODS
Auburn Exchange Club Gun Show.....11
AuburnExchangeClub.com
Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise..............30
207.784.7300
Fine Line Gun Shop........................... 31
207.998.2374
G3 Firearms.........................................16
G3Firearms.com
Kora Shriners Outdoor Expo............... 21
KoraShriners.org/outdoor-expo
Maine Campground RV Show................ 9
MaineCampingGuide.com
Megan has been a part of the Roopers
family for well over a decade,
sometimes taking a break to raise her family
and take care of her animals.
Her dedication to Roopers is
unwavering, and she is a true testament to
hard work and superior customer service.
She truly does treat every customer like an
old friend and goes above and beyond to
make sure her staff is happy and smiling.
Her endearing gift of “gab” is
unmatched, as anyone who knows her will
agree!
Thank you, Megan, for your
commitment and hard work all these years.
Megan Pierce
Main Street Lewiston - Manager
ROOPERSBEVERAGE.COM
You are truly appreciated!
Sara Cote, Director of personnel
545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047
980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072
Uncle Andy’s Digest
794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353
UncleAndys.com 39
686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200
$ 8
Join Us On St. Patty’s Day For A
Traditional Boiled Dinner!
Leprechaun’s
Kiss
Our Representative From Jameson Will Be In-House That Evening
207-376-4959 • 47 Broad Street, Auburn • www.firehouseauburn.com
Buy or Sell with one of Androscoggin Counties
TOP Real Estate Agents
MATT MOCCIOLA
Residential Buying & Selling
Scan to get your FREE
no pressure valuation
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207-346-4900 | mattmocciola@tmree.com | www.mattsellsmaine.com
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For more licensing Information
WWW.NMLSCONSUMERACCESS.ORG
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
40 March 2026
Your local guide to... well, just about anything!
UncleAndys.com