Stil und Form Stil und Form - British Forces Germany

Stil und Form
A Guide to German Etiquette
As a 14­year­old, Jan­Dirk von Merveldt left a country estate near Münster and suddenly found himself at
Redrice School, courtesy of a newly acquired English stepfather. Having survived that culture shock he
went on to join the Royal Green Jackets, for a “short spell”. Lt Col J­D Graf von Merveldt retired after a
full career in 2004! In 1988, at the behest of Commander 1(BR) Corps, he produced a guide on German
etiquette for BAOR, which he revised in 1998. Helga Heine (BFG Media Ops) completed another
update in April 2004 and it has been reissued. The following slides highlight some of the more important
aspects of German etiquette. Please obtain a copy of the Stil und Form booklet and refer to it frequently.

The Handshake
People normally introduce themselves at functions and there will be occasions when you
will have to do so. The accepted German etiquette is; "Darf " Darf ich mich bitte vorstellen?” vorstellen? ”
(May I introduce myself?) immediately followed by your surname and a nd a handshake.
Adding your rank and first name (in English) does help to alert people that you are not
German and therefore serves as a sort of “warning “ warning” ”. . You will certainly find fellow
German guests introducing themselves to you; typically with a quick qu ick handshake and a
surname (i.e. Mü M üller). ller). Beware that it is often remarkably difficult to grasp the th e name and
asking for it to be repeated is not at all rude. rude . When in uniform a salute is followed by a
handshake (military headdress stays on).
If in doubt ­ always shake hands.
Germans expect the man to greet the lady, the younger to greet the t he older and the
subordinate to greet the superior. Germans arriving or leaving a function normally greet
and say good­ good ­bye bye to all those present by shaking their hands. In mixed company compa ny Germans
normally shake hands first with the ladies. Advice: Always shake sha ke hands with everyone.
Where circumstances allow, the man is expected to stand up when being greeted or
greeting. Guten Morgen, Morgen , Guten Tag and Guten Abend are the accepted forms of greeting. .
In southern Germany “Gr “ Grü üss ss Gott" Gott " is the customary greeting. On departing, Auf
Wiedersehen combined with a handshake, is the norm.

Forms of Dress
National characteristics and tradition have resulted in a different differ ent dress codes in
Germany and it is therefore useful for us to know what is worn for f or various occasions
and what it is called.
English
German
Military
Badges Rank
Dienstgradabzeichen
Cap Badge
Combat Kit
Headdress
Leathers/Sam Brown/Cross Belt
Medals ­ “with Medals"
Medals ­ “Miniatures”
Mess Kit
No 1 Dress (no German
equivalent)
No 2 Dress/ Service Dress
No 4 Dress (Summer)
Working Dress
Barett – Embleme
Mützenabzeichen
Feldanzug
Kopfbedeckung
Koppelzeug
Orden/Ehrenzeichen
Orden/Ehrenzeichen
“Bandschnalle”
Gesellschaftsanzug Galauniform
Dienstanzug, weißes Hemd,
Querbinder
Dienstanzug
Dienstanzug (Sommer)
Arbeitsanzug

Plain Clothes (Men)
Black Tie
Blazer
Casual
Casual (sport)
Country Dress
Dark Suit
Dinner Jacket
Gloves
Hat
Informal
Jacket
Morning Coat
Pullover
Suit
Summer Dress
Weatherproof
White Tie
Without tie
English
Smoking
Blazer
Freizeitkleidung/Sakko
sportlich
ländlich
dunkler/gedeckter Anzug
Smoking
Handschuhe
Hut
Kombination, Blazer oder Sakko
Sakko
Cut (from the English “Cutaway”)
Pullover
geschlossener/gedeckter/Anzug
Sommerlich
wetterfest
Frack
ohne Krawatte
German

For ladies:
Cocktail Dress
Day Dress
Evening Dress
Hat
Summer Dress
Trouser Suit
Weatherproof
English
Ball Gown (with gloves)
“County” for country sports
Dinner Jacket/ Black Tie equiv.
Evening Dress long
Evening Dress short
Gloves, long, short
Ballkleid (mit langen
Handschuhen)
Cocktailkleid
ländlich
Kleid
Cocktailkleid
Abendkleid
Abendkleid lang
Abendkleid kurz
Handschuhe, lang, kurz
Hut
sommerlich
Hosenanzug
wetterfest
German

What to wear for what occasion? Wearing uniform at an official function is never
out of place in Germany, indeed it is welcomed. It eases identification identi fication and British
uniform is regarded as smart, traditional, even exotic. Members of the Bundeswehr
will invariably wear Service Dress for daylight and early evening evenin g social events.
British hosts and guests should always wear uniform at annual receptions re ceptions especially
at Queen’ Queen ’s s Birthday Receptions.
When inviting German guests, always indicate what the appropriate appropriat e form of dress
might be. Similarly, do not hesitate to enquire after the appropriate appro priate form of dress for
German functions.
Dinner Jacket/ Black Tie. Many Germans do not possess a dinner jacket (Smoking ( Smoking) )
and might refuse “Black “ Black Tie” Tie ” invitations. The female “equivalent “ equivalent” ” of Dinner
Jacket/Black Tie in Germany tends to be very grand and could result res ult in a German
guest being “overdressed
“ overdressed” ” and embarrassed. You might wish to add ‘suit ‘ suit’ ’ (dunkler ( dunkler
Anzug) Anzug ) to the invitation to indicate that those who do not possess a Dinner Jacket are
welcome to wear a dark suit.

Presents
It is traditional in Germany to bring a small present for one's hostess. Flowers are
generally the most suitable present. When giving flowers, Germans Germa ns observe a number of
conventions, which are worth knowing. Give the flowers to the hostess h ostess on arrival
(normally by the man of a couple). Remove the paper wrapping before be fore entering the
house. If in foil, leave the flowers wrapped. Tradition has it that an uneven number of
flowers are given but not thirteen. Red roses and red carnations carnation s are regarded as a sign
of love. White flowers in general and lilies in particular are for f or funerals. Don’ Don ’t t bring
them to social occasions or when visiting a friend in hospital! A German hostess
will “display “ display” ” your flowers for all to see. A British hostess might consider having
some vases “at “ at the ready” ready ”. .
Alcohol. A bottle of Whisky, Gin or dry Sherry is a welcome and somewhat somewha t different
present from a British guest. It should be wrapped and might have ha ve a calling/visiting
Card attached if there are many guests. Germany has more than her h er fair share of wine
experts, so a degree of care is required when choosing wine as a gift.
Official presents. SLOs will advise on official presents. Senior officers should
be prepared to give and receive a small present when paying an official o fficial farewell visit. A
regimental print or captioned photograph could prove a good alternative alte rnative to a plaque, of
which many Ratshä Ratsh äuser user now have large collections.

Birthdays
Birthdays are regarded as important in Germany and more fuss is made over them than in
Britain. Coming of age (18th birthday) and “round “ round” ” birthdays 20, 30, 40 etc. are of special
significance.
Birthday List. Most German firms, organisations and the military maintain birthday bir thday lists,
which will include BFG members either as contacts or customers.
Birthday Visits. It is entirely appropriate to “call “ call” ” unannounced on a birthday with a bunch
of flowers or small present. Those celebrating their birthday, especially a “round “ round” ” birthday,
are usually “at “ at home” home ” between 1100 – 1300 and 1700 – 1800. It is a mark of particular
attention and respect to call upon local dignitaries such as the Bü B ürgermeister rgermeister or Landrat on
their birthday. The local SLO would advise on the date and should shou ld always be involved in
such a visit.
LEC birthdays. The birthdays of our Locally Employed Civilians should not be forgotten.
(They rather expect them to be remembered.)

Weddings in Germany
Pre­ Pre ­wedding wedding Party (Polterabend). Traditionally, the Polterabend was for retainers
associated with the bride and groom. It has become a pre­ pre ­wedding wedding party for friends, who
might not be invited to the wedding. A Polterabend is noisy and quite wild, involving
smashing crockery for good luck. By tradition the evening ends at midnight.
Wedding (Hochzeit/ Trauung). An invitation to the "Empfang" (Reception) also means
an invitation to the church service. The timings from ...to... (von/bis) of the reception are
important to observe as it is usually followed by a wedding lunch lunc h or dinner for family and
close friends. Unless invited to the lunch or dinner, one should shoul d leave the reception
promptly.
Dress at German weddings. Dark suit/short/cocktail type dress is entirely appropriate
although in some circles the men wear a Morning Coat whilst ladies ladi es wear a short dress
and hat. For BFG guests, Blues would never be out of place.
Wedding presents. Exactly the same etiquette now applies to presents in Germany as a s is the
case in UK.

Forms of Address
In German, there is an intimacy associated with the use of a Christian Chr istian name and the “Du “ Du” ”
form of address, which no longer exists in English. It is normally norma lly used in the family or
after knowing someone for a long time and where a mutual agreement agreeme nt has been reached
("Let's call each other by our Christian/first names"). Times are a re changing but calling
Germans by their Christian names on meeting them can still cause offence. Call
people by their surname and/or rank i.e. Herr Mü M üller, ller, Herr Oberst, Herr Oberst Mü M üller, ller,
Frau Dr. Braun, Herr Bü B ürgermeister rgermeister etc. Men should not call women by their Christian
name unless invited to do so. However children and teenagers are ar e called by their
Christian names up to the time they come of age.
The British military habit of referring to other military personnel person nel by their rank and
first name has no equivalent in the Bundeswehr. It may flatter “Colonel “ Colonel John” John ” to be
referred to as such by the General but it will leave a German audience au dience wondering who is
being talked about.

Punctuality
Punctuality has been described as an “irritating “ irritating” ” German habit. There is a German saying
“It “ It is better the guests wait for their food than the food for the th e guests” guests ”. . Whereas the
British arrive “a “ a little after” after ” the time given, Germans believe that they should be there by
the time given on the invitation or even well before. BFG guests guest s at a German function,
particularly an official one, should make every effort to arrive on time.
If early arrival is a German habit then knowing when to leave is not one of their virtues. In
order to stop any confusion as to when an event is to end, it should sh ould always be indicated.
The accepted format is to indicate Carriages/ Wagen on an invitation.

German Eating Habits and Table Manners
Breakfast (Frü (Fr ühst hstü ück). ck). Breakfast usually consists of bread rolls (Brö (Br ötchen), tchen), a boiled egg, jam,
cold meats, coffee or tea. Cooked breakfasts are uncommon in private pri vate houses but popular in
hotels.
Lunch (Mittagessen). Regarded by many as the hot or main meal of the day. It is served se rved a
little earlier than the British lunch and is often quite substantial. substan tial.
“Kaffee “ Kaffee und Kuchen” Kuchen ”. . Germans are keen on their afternoon coffee and (normally) home
made cakes. Typically, guests are invited on Sunday afternoons.
Evening meal (Abendbrot). The name given to an evening meal consisting of mainly bread
and cold meats. Tea or beer is served with this meal. Abendbrot Abendbro t is usually eaten between
1800 ­1900 ­ 1900 hours and is the main meal of the evening.
Evening meal ­ Late (Abendessen). A more formal evening dinner, which usually commences
between 1900 ­ 2000 hours.
Grace at table (Das Tischgebet). It is not uncommon, especially in a Catholic household, for
grace to be said before and after a meal or at the start of a dinner di nner party.
Enjoy your Meal (Guten Appetit). "Guten Appetit" is used to wish those present an enjoyable
meal. Guests should not start eating until the host/hostess has wished them "Guten Appetit“ Appetit “. .
Between courses and contrary to British table manners, it is the norm to keep one’ one ’s s hands “in “ in
sight and away from swords” swords ” on the edge of the table.

German Drinking Habits and Manners
Toasting is a very typical German tradition on almost every occasion. occa sion. German guests do not
raise a full glass without “taking “ taking someone with them” them ”: :
The host gives the signal to commence drinking by raising his glass. In mixed
company this is usually accompanied by a bit of a ritual on the host’ host ’s s part who turns to
the lady on his right (Tischdame) and nods to all his guests sitting si tting at the table with
him. After drinking, the glass is not immediately placed on the table but “held “ held” ” whilst
nods are exchanged with all those in the immediate vicinity. British Br itish hosts should be
aware that German guests will wait for the signal to commence drinking dr inking so make life
simple by welcoming everyone before you start drinking/eating.
Recharging of a wine glass (Wein nachfü nachf üllen). llen). In Germany a wineglass is traditionally
only recharged when it is empty and never when there is still something so mething in it. One
should always give German guests the chance to empty their glasses glass es before recharging
them. Equally British guests at a German function should be aware awa re that only empty
glasses are recharged ­ so drink up!
Come around for a glass of wine (Auf ein Glas Wein kommen). This is a relatively common
German form of entertaining a small group of friends or the couple coup le next door. If this
happens, it is assumed you have eaten before arriving and German hosts offer a rather
special wine.

Speeches (Reden)
Speeches are an element of most official and private functions in i n Germany. Hosts welcome
guests and official guests will normally reply (das Wort ergreifen). ergreif en).
Speeches at official German Events. Those invited to any German event in an official
capacity should always inquire discreetly, via the SLO, if they are expected to make a
"Rede" (speech). Unless able to speak German well, speak English but try and avoid
long sentences.
Speeches at official BFG Events. German guests to official BFG functions, especially
annual receptions and Queen’ Queen ’s s Birthday Parades/Receptions, expect to hear a short
welcoming address and some statement of substance from their senior sen ior British host.
Advice: Short speeches at official BFG events are a requirement. The content c ontent should
be discussed with the local SLO and for senior officers, with the th e CSLO or Director
BFLO(G).
Speeches at the table (Tischreden). Short speeches of welcome, praise and thanks are
often made by the host and the senior male guest at private and official functions,
luncheons and dinners. Hostesses often announce what is about to t o be served, sometimes
in remarkable detail. If you, as a British guest, are asked to reply on behalf of others,
take your glass in the right hand, stand up and speak English (unless (u nless you have a very
good command of German).

Invitations (Einladungen)
The form of a German invitation differs little from the British although an “At “ At Home” Home ”
invitation does not exist. The table below shows some typical translations: t ranslations:
Anzug
Beehren sich
bei sich zu sehen
bis (10.8.2004)
Bitten
Einzuladen
gibt sich die Ehre
U.A.w.g (Um Antwort wird gebeten)
um (19 Uhr)
Wagen
Würden sich freuen
zu einem Empfang
zum
German
Adresse des Gastgebers
am/auf den (10. August)
Address of host
on ... (Day) date (10 August)
Dress or Suit
request the pleasure of the Company of
to see/request the pleasure of/at home
reply by (date ­ 10/8/04)
request the pleasure of/ ask
invite
requests the pleasure of the Company of
RSVP/ reply
at (1900 hours) (use 24 hr clock)
Carriages (desired Departure time for guests)
request the pleasure of/ happy to see
to a Reception
to a . (Event)
English

Bundeswehr.
Typical Events in Germany
Tattoo (Zapfenstreich). The "Zapfenstreich" is the traditional German military form
of Sounding/Beating Retreat. Its origins are similar to our Sounding/Beating Sou nding/Beating Retreat
although some troops will be on parade, carrying flaming torches (Fackeln). This is
the major ceremonial event of the Bundeswehr and only used as a farewell to
General Officers or Armed Forces Ministers, national celebrations celebration s and State Visits.
If invited, the correct form of dress would be No 1/No 2 Dress unless u nless otherwise
stipulated.
Biwak (Bivouac or Camp Fire). Strictly translated this is a get together around a
campfire. It is an outdoor event with a campfire, military stands stand s and exhibitions
where Combat Kit is appropriate. In most cases an entry fee is required r equired and food and
drink are purchased. It is always an All Ranks event and serves as an open day for
the families.
Change of Command Ceremony (Kommandowechsel/Ü
(Kommandowechsel/ Übergabeappell bergabeappell ). Change of
Command Ceremonies are significant events in the German military calendar. The
outgoing commander formally returns the command to his superior, who in turn
hands it over to the incoming commander. Elements of the unit/ formation f ormation will be on
parade accompanied by a band. Both outgoing and incoming commanders comman ders and the
senior officer officiating make speeches. The parade is usually usuall y followed by a
reception.

Bundeswehr (continued).
Swearing­ Swearing ­in/Oath/Solemn in/Oath/Solemn Pledge (Vereidigung). "Vereidigung" is the swearing­ swearing ­in in
ceremony for National Service recruits during their basic training. traini ng. It is a family
occasion and similar to a Passing Out Parade, sometimes accompanied accompan ied by a "Tag der
offenen Tü T ür" r" (Open Day). If invited, SD is the appropriate form of dress.
Unit Affiliations (Patenschaften). Patenschaften are regarded in the Bundeswehr as an
important socio/military form of contact with other NATO units/ formations and a
degree of formality and ceremony is attached to these “Patenschaften
“ Patenschaften” ”.They .They are
expected to last beyond any Arms Plot move and BFG units should seek BFLO(G)
advice before establishing any new affiliation.
Fahnenband (Banner). The Fahnenband is a narrow stitched banner fixed as a
decoration to the Truppenfahne or Regimental Colour. It was originally ori ginally presented for
participation in particular battles or campaigns. Some BFG units unit s have been awarded
either a Federal or Land Fahnenband on departing Germany after a minimum of 5
years. BFLO(G) holds details on qualifying criteria and procedures. procedu res.
Participation of Ladies at Bundeswehr Events (Damenbeteiligung). (Damenbeteiligung) . Most of the official
Bundeswehr functions include ladies and will be shown on the invitation. inv itation. If in doubt
British guests should check with their SLO.

Hunting (Jagen).
Game shooting in Germany is steeped in tradition and convention. There is no hunting
with hounds in Germany but there are a number of Drag Hound packs. pack s. A Drag Hunt is
called Schleppjagd.
To be allowed to hunt (shoot) a German has to pass a very stiff and expensive exam,
which requires extensive study in laws, customs, wildlife, flora and fauna and weapon
handling. Licences are issued by the local Ordnungsamt, cost about ab out € 80 and require to
be covered by insurance, which costs about € 85 p.a. Do not be surprised if your host
asks to see your shooting licence as he is required by law to ensure en sure that all his guests
have a valid one and carry it on them. If you do not have the required r equired licence or up to
date insurance, do not attempt to shoot as you and your host would wou ld be breaking the law
and liable to extreme penalties.
Members of BFG wishing to shoot in Germany must acquire adequate knowledge of
German law and customs by undergoing a basic test organised by the t he British Services
Game Shooting Association (BSGSA). The BSGSA runs courses and tests t ests in
Sennelager. Several SLOs are qualified to instruct on these courses cou rses and able to provide
expert advice. For further details contact your SLO, who will advise a dvise accordingly.

Schü Sch ützenfeste/Sch
tzenfeste/Schü ützenvereine tzenvereine (Rifle/Militia­
(Rifle/Militia ­Association/Celebration)
Association/Celebration)
The "Schü "Sch ützen" tzen" tradition goes back many hundreds of years in German history. histo ry. It stems
from a time when all able­ able ­bodied bodied men could be called to arms to protect their village,
town, city or area. The Schü Sch ützenfest tzenfest was and is the original celebration at the end of the
Schü Sch ützenverein's tzenverein's annual shoot. Each year, the best marksman is declared decl ared
Schü Sch ützenk tzenkö önig nig (top marksman/ shooting king) and is enthroned in the subsequent subseq uent
celebration.
Typically a Schü Sch ützenverein's tzenverein's rank structure is grossly inflated, has some form of o f
uniform and exotic headdress. It is not unusual for a Schü Sch ützenverein tzenverein to invite British
guests, especially the more senior officers. It is an invitation invitatio n that should be accepted,
unless there is bomb­ bomb ­proof proof reason to decline. British guests should be prepared for a
great number of speeches, endless toasts and to dance with all the t he ladies at their table
plus the Schü Sch ützenk tzenkö önigin. nigin. If invited to participate in the shooting competition, it is
prudent to “aim “ aim off” off ” in order to avoid becoming the "Schü "Sch ützenk tzenkö önig nig” ”. . The personal
contribution of a Schü Sch ützenk tzenkö önig nig in his year of office is up to € 6.000!

Foundation Stone Laying Ceremony (Grundsteinlegung)
It is a tradition in Germany to have a ceremonial "Grundsteinlegung" "Grundsteinleg ung" for all major
building projects. The ceremony is regarded as important and, in i n view of PUMA,
many BFG members are likely to receive invitation to such events. events .
The main element of a Grundsteinlegung is a copper capsule, which whic h is sealed and
bricked in during the ceremony. The capsule usually contains a certificate giving
details of the ceremony, a newspaper which appeared on the day, a collection of
coins in circulation on the day, details of the building and the owner or organisation
moving into the building. The ceremony involves a short address by the owner, the
architect, the builder, the reading out of the ceremonial certificate certif icate and the symbolic
laying of the sealed container by the owner. Drinks (Umtrunk) usually us ually follow the
ceremony on the site.
Dress. For military guests No 2 dress with Sam Brown/Cross Belt is appropriate. ap propriate.
Come prepared for cold and wet weather. Artisans sometimes wear traditional dress.
Topping out Ceremony (Richtfest)
Like the foundation stone lying, the "Richtfest" is also an important impo rtant ceremonial
element of a building process. This is a ceremony of some significance signi ficance and should
not be ignored by those who are invited. Roughly the same personalities perso nalities as in the
foundation stone laying ceremony are involved. The ceremony serves ser ves to enable the
owner to thank all participants for their efforts in getting the project completed.

Thank you Letters
British hosts should not be surprised if German guests do not write wr ite a “bread “ bread and butter” butter ”
thank you letter after receiving hospitality. In German society it is acceptable to ring up to
say thank you after an event or when next meeting. Some hostesses hostess es may receive flowers
after the event, by way thanks.
The traditional, hand­ hand ­written written thank you letter still punches far above its weight and will be
greatly appreciated by any German hostess. It is entirely acceptable accep table for a British guest to
write in English, although a short letter of thanks in German would wo uld be impressive.
However, if undertaken, the German has to be correct. Once again, agai n, your SLO will be able
to help.