book one redone - Coldbacon
book one redone - Coldbacon book one redone - Coldbacon
movies/openlettertocriterion.html Dear Jon, You know I love you. You know I love the Criterion Collection. If you visited the links segment of my movie site, you would see a virtual declaration of love for Criterion. There is nothing, nothing! I would not do for the dream that is Criterion. But why? Why on God’s green earth are Traffic and Chasing Amy in the collection? You and I, Jon, we are friends. We go back. Way back. We’re practically of one and the same egg. Of course, there is no question you know more about films than I, which is why I’m sure you too are just as gnawed at, probably more gnawed at, by the presence of these bubos. I hope my letter will not seem as insincere as it is unsolicited. If there is anything I can do to help, please! do not hesitate. I place myself fully at your disposal. Your True and Humble Servant, Cold Bacon /cb 00:22:48:Arthur sent you? 00:22:50:I came of my own accord. 00:22:53:You honor me. 120
Barry Lyndon (1975) Stanley Kubrick Barry Lyndon is one of the greatest films of all time, and anyone who says otherwise is a deadbeat. Often, the first thing people complain about is the music. They, deadbeats, say it’s not really top notch classical music. I couldn’t agree more. The song that runs through the Barry meets Lady Lyndon scene reminds me of a slowed-down, heavy-handed outtake from Beethoven’s much maligned Triple Concerto. Meanwhile, the music in the bandaged child scene is like a watered-down version of the momentous adagio in Beethoven’s Seventh. And this is precisely Kubrick’s genius. By using only the heavy outlines of great music—but without the complexity and nuance of the real thing—Stanley he is able to harness the emotional power of it without actually competing for your intellect. 1 For example, if Kubrick had used Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto, with its gentle curves and quietly sublime melody, the film would have simply to stop every few minutes and let the girl pass. Likewise, if he had used the not merely emphatic and shallow, but the truly furious, say Beethoven’s 5 th , it would have been a mismatch—a huge white Hermitage with soft, raw oysters, a delicate Mosel with confit d’oie. Tragedy—avoided. For the record, I suspect Kubrick is really more of an oysters Bienville; 2 there is little danger of his flavor being overpowered— by much. 1 That all said, that synthesizer crap in A Clockwork Orange really is pretty damn foryourdrivingpleasure. In fact, some German synthpop group should probably make that into a song. 2 Sometimes called the “Father of Louisiana,” Jean Baptiste Le Moyne, Sieur de Bienville, was chosen to command the expedition for Louis XIV to found a colony in Louisiana. Responsible for founding the settlement of New Orleans, Jean Baptiste became an early governor of Louisiana. This succulent dish named in his honor was originally created at Antoine’s by Chef Auguste Michel. However, it became known as Arnaud’s dish after Arnaud Cazanave, proprietor of Arnaud’s Restaurant, tasted Michel’s concoction and began serving it in his restaurant. 121
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movies/openlettertocriterion.html<br />
Dear Jon,<br />
You know I love you. You know I love the Criterion Collection. If you<br />
visited the links segment of my movie site, you would see a virtual<br />
declaration of love for Criterion. There is nothing, nothing! I would not do<br />
for the dream that is Criterion. But why? Why on God’s green earth are<br />
Traffic and Chasing Amy in the collection?<br />
You and I, Jon, we are friends. We go back. Way back. We’re practically<br />
of <strong>one</strong> and the same egg. Of course, there is no question you know more<br />
about films than I, which is why I’m sure you too are just as gnawed at,<br />
probably more gnawed at, by the presence of these bubos. I hope my letter<br />
will not seem as insincere as it is unsolicited. If there is anything I can do<br />
to help, please! do not hesitate. I place myself fully at your disposal.<br />
Your True and Humble Servant,<br />
Cold Bacon<br />
/cb<br />
00:22:48:Arthur sent you?<br />
00:22:50:I came of my own accord.<br />
00:22:53:You honor me.<br />
120
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