book one redone - Coldbacon

Recommendations

Info

From: Michael S. Tilley To: Cold Bacon Sent: Sat, 19 Jan 2002 14:24:57 –0500 Subject: Feedback The images on your page are ridiculously huge. Don’t you know that when you specify an image size in HTML it just affects the size as rendered on the screen? The poor user still winds up downloading the whole bloated thing. Do you have any idea how long this takes to download over a modem? Would you care if you did? Please get some profesional help. Mike 00:24:24:Easily taken as weakness. 00:24:26:He'll say you backed down, as though guilty. 00:24:30:Guilty of what? 146
writing/anthonylane-mariaproblem.html Anthony Lane’s essay, “The Maria Problem” (sous-titled “Going Wild for The Sound of Music”) is okay, but it has problems. I will explain them. It starts off like this: “Let’s start at the very beginning (it’s a very good place to start.) Maria Augusta Kutschera was born in 1905.” This is the best reference to The Sound of Music in the history of writing. (It’s a very good reference to start.) This beginning reminds me of the time David Lynch’s Dune, which may or may not be a bad film, kicked off with the Padishaw Emperor’s daughter: “The beginning is a delicate time. Know then that it is the year ten something.” But I digress. So Maria Augusta Kutschera was born in 1905. My childhood friend and archnemesis T seems to think Anthony Lane is the greatest film critic since Von Kesselstat, and The New Yorker can and has done nothing wrong, ever. Yes, well. Herr Lane then goes on to spend the next eight pages of my life establishing context. Using def journalistic skillz and his usual divine inspiration, he describes the phenomenon wherein a bunch of dedicated fanatics dress up in various Sound of Music-inspired costumes and participate in ritualistic beatings. This all happens at the Prince Charles Cinema. The problem here is if you know what the hell he’s talking about, then you don’t really need this explanation, or at least, you don’t need this much explanation. If you’ve ever been to one of these cult-audience participation things, like church, you’d know that being there is at least twice as good as watching it on DVD and eight times better than reading about it in The New Yorker. In fact, the only reason to read the first eight pages is to be reminded that Mr. Lane lives in London, and you don’t. And he knows a lot about movies. Why won’t he write about them? If he wanted he could use his vast knowledge of film to draw connections, to explain, to teach, to challenge. If he wanted. Or perhaps you are reading him in hopes of scoring some cut-rate cultural insight. After all, there was that one time where he pointed out: 147
Page 3 and 4:
Till human voices wake us 3
Page 5:
index.html 5
Page 8 and 9:
Every self-published internet autho
Page 10 and 11:
feedback/colleen.html From: Colleen
Page 12 and 13:
feedback/laura.html Subject: Please
Page 14:
poems/love.html My name is, I forge
Page 18 and 19:
mcbone.html Dear Joe et al, I canno
Page 20 and 21:
Sharks If you’re ever attacked by
Page 22 and 23:
ENLARGE YOUR FAVORITE Dear Sir or M
Page 24 and 25:
When one toaster cycle isn’t enou
Page 26 and 27:
http://search.aol.com/dirsearch.que
Page 28 and 29:
...or perhaps find a deal on... htt
Page 30 and 31:
Milk and Honey You’ve heard it a
Page 32 and 33:
original.html List of people astute
Page 34:
sea foam head hunter I am a race ca
Page 37 and 38:
I’ve always dreamed of a vampire
Page 39 and 40:
news/headlines.html 6/5/05 U.S. War
Page 42 and 43:
writing/stormdrain.html The followi
Page 44 and 45:
9/19/02 Tropical Storm Isidore Head
Page 46 and 47:
Because of email, the quality of my
Page 48:
http://search.dogpile.com/texis/sea
Page 51:
http://aolsearch.aol.com/dirsearch.
Page 54 and 55:
unless he was just kidding when he
Page 56 and 57:
From: Dave Eggers To: Me Date: Sun,
Page 58 and 59:
Blend: To mix two or more ingredien
Page 61 and 62:
germanwines.html “Big reds,” I
Page 63 and 64:
Hotmail Daemon: 1 person wants to e
Page 65 and 66:
Poison Control “Hello, you have r
Page 67 and 68:
ColdBacon: no ColdBacon: doesn’t
Page 69:
That’s the moment you’ll find G
Page 73 and 74:
ugs.html Remember when you were a k
Page 75 and 76:
theendofanera.html You may have not
Page 77:
eally used a picture. And I thought
Page 80 and 81:
monitors.html From a Review of Moni
Page 82 and 83:
that looked just like—oh my—wai
Page 84 and 85:
glib \ ‘glib \ adj glib-ber; glib
Page 86 and 87:
movies/personalvelocity.html Person
Page 88 and 89:
movies/wesanderson.html Interview w
Page 90 and 91:
WA: Umm. CB: Are you saying umm or
Page 92 and 93:
movies/mysticmasseur.html Mystic Ma
Page 94 and 95:
movies/blackhawkdown.html Blackhawk
Page 96 and 97: eal and credible as—nothing, or a
Page 98 and 99: October 30, 2003 My therapist says
Page 100 and 101: Someone has left your mailing list!
Page 102 and 103: If No, then it’s because 1. Meeti
Page 104 and 105: From: Sarita Date: Thursday, July 1
Page 106 and 107: hello there fellow webmaster! I enj
Page 108 and 109: From: Stump7350@aol.com Date: Wedne
Page 110 and 111: 5/27/01 ‘Pearl Harbor’ misses r
Page 112 and 113: Scarface when they visit the palati
Page 114 and 115: From: Al Shehorn To: Cold Bacon Van
Page 116 and 117: 6/23/60 Italian Film Crew Distracte
Page 118 and 119: sort of blueish-gray color.” Whet
Page 120 and 121: movies/openlettertocriterion.html D
Page 122 and 123: One of Kubrick’s themes (yes, onl
Page 124 and 125: 124
Page 126 and 127: Jump to new posts » Hello, Cold Ba
Page 128 and 129: movies/ran.html Ran (1985) Akira Ku
Page 130 and 131: movies/starshiptroopers.html Starsh
Page 132 and 133: From: PaGaLiDeEwAnI4ya*at*aol.com T
Page 134 and 135: movies/mirror.html Mirror (1974) An
Page 136 and 137: movies/unknownpleasures.html Unknow
Page 138 and 139: hi. i'm a reporter at the baltimore
Page 140 and 141: From: Sarah Gordon Subject: i looke
Page 142 and 143: 142 Kris: “Do you know yourself?
Page 144 and 145: 144 Courtney Love passed away this
Page 148 and 149: 148 “Nominally a reserved people,
Page 150 and 151: argument. And I’m not reading it
Page 152 and 153: Now Lane’s Jack Nicholson-versus-
Page 154 and 155: From: Carrie McLaren@stayfree.org D
Page 156 and 157: those who may be feeling a bit, sha
Page 158 and 159: you know exactly what i'm asking an
Page 160 and 161: standupcomedy.html You can find you
Page 162 and 163: From: babiewitch@aol.com Date: wedn
Page 164 and 165: my romantic plea (to a girl who’s
Page 166 and 167: your head look so pretty [Most Rece
Page 168 and 169: Tuesday, June 15th, 2004 3:59 pm Li
Page 170 and 171: Sunday, April 17th, 2005 4:41 pm Go
Page 172 and 173: No steady stream of commercials to
Page 174 and 175: dearlaura.html The following letter
Page 176 and 177: nofriends.html Point Lately, I’ve
Page 178 and 179: 178
Page 180 and 181: From: Kirsty Date: Thursday, March
Page 182: Hi Bacon, Sure, we’d be able to p
show all

book one redone - Coldbacon

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?